How to Handle Difficult People

TIP # 1

People aren’t Difficult…

they’re different

Five Misconceptions in Communication

People always listen to you when you are speaking to them When people say they are paying attention they really are

When someone says “ I understand “, he or she really does Saying something over and over ensure that your listener

understand Saying something over and over loudly will even more effective than just saying it over and over

TIP # 2

If what you’re doing is not

working…Find a new way to do it!

Why do difficult people resist new ideas and opinions?

Resist to change

Resistance due to bad mood

Resistance due to invasion of territory

Why do difficult people resist new ideas and opinions?

Resistance due to irritation Resistance due to negativity Resistance due to fear Resistance due to perceived roles

TIP # 3

Resistance does not mean NO

Six keys to conquering resistance

Acknowledge and validate the other person’s concern

Anticipate and voice the other person’s objectives

Watch for “red flag” words

Six keys (cont.)

Exercise self control

Focus on solution not blame

Be clear about what you want

TIP # 4

Deal with problem not the symptoms

Minimizing difficult encounters

Build trust Demand consistency Communicate constantly Use praise liability Encourage growth

TIP # 5

Be descriptive not Judgmental

Steps to handling conflict

Listen to the other’s issues_ Seek first to understand then

to be understood Describe back to the

individual their point of view formulate and

suggest possible outcomes

TIP # 6

People who anger you…control you

Difficult people : Classic Types

The Bull

Characteristic – Bossy , Intimidating

Reason- To intimidate and control

Goal – Focus on the issues, avoid emotions

The Fox

Characteristic- Long winded, does not conflict directly

Reason – To get attention

Goal – Surface the attack

The Stone wall

Characteristic – Silent and unresponsive

Reason – To control the situation

Goal – Get a response

TIP # 7

Any behavior not confronted will continue

Five commandments for changing attitudes

Arguments never work Respective, value the differences in

peopleFault does not matterStart with areas of agreementListen for understanding

TIP # 8

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten