How to Handle Difficult People
TIP # 1
People aren’t Difficult…
they’re different
Five Misconceptions in Communication
People always listen to you when you are speaking to them When people say they are paying attention they really are
When someone says “ I understand “, he or she really does Saying something over and over ensure that your listener
understand Saying something over and over loudly will even more effective than just saying it over and over
TIP # 2
If what you’re doing is not
working…Find a new way to do it!
Why do difficult people resist new ideas and opinions?
Resist to change
Resistance due to bad mood
Resistance due to invasion of territory
Why do difficult people resist new ideas and opinions?
Resistance due to irritation Resistance due to negativity Resistance due to fear Resistance due to perceived roles
TIP # 3
Resistance does not mean NO
Six keys to conquering resistance
Acknowledge and validate the other person’s concern
Anticipate and voice the other person’s objectives
Watch for “red flag” words
Six keys (cont.)
Exercise self control
Focus on solution not blame
Be clear about what you want
TIP # 4
Deal with problem not the symptoms
Minimizing difficult encounters
Build trust Demand consistency Communicate constantly Use praise liability Encourage growth
TIP # 5
Be descriptive not Judgmental
Steps to handling conflict
Listen to the other’s issues_ Seek first to understand then
to be understood Describe back to the
individual their point of view formulate and
suggest possible outcomes
TIP # 6
People who anger you…control you
Difficult people : Classic Types
The Bull
Characteristic – Bossy , Intimidating
Reason- To intimidate and control
Goal – Focus on the issues, avoid emotions
The Fox
Characteristic- Long winded, does not conflict directly
Reason – To get attention
Goal – Surface the attack
The Stone wall
Characteristic – Silent and unresponsive
Reason – To control the situation
Goal – Get a response
TIP # 7
Any behavior not confronted will continue
Five commandments for changing attitudes
Arguments never work Respective, value the differences in
peopleFault does not matterStart with areas of agreementListen for understanding
TIP # 8
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten