Social confidence

Personal Well Being Centre

How it all started

• Launched in April 2009 at the first Psychology for All event.

• The aim was to reach out to people who are interested in psychology and how it can be

applied in everyday life.

• There are usually 10-30 participants from all walks of life, with or without

psychological background.

• Drop-in sessions but there are some regulars.

• Officially sessions last an hour and a half but we usually continue after that

with wining, dining, and chatting.

• Once a month we have a presentation, a guest speaker, a workshop and a

debate. 05


Who comes and why?

•The sessions attract a fascinating mix of people of all ages from

many walks of life and many different countries.

•Because the sessions are interactive the topics have generated

rich exchanges of ideas, experiences and attitudes.

•People come for various reasons: general interest in the subject,

as a part of personal development, help with specific issues, to

socialise.

We learn

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We talk, discuss and reflect


We do some practical things


We eat, drink and get merry!

We do not:

• ‘Psychoanalyse’ each other

• Demand personal disclosures

• Do group therapy• Lecture each other• Bore each other• Judge each other


TESTIMONIES

'An intriguing, accessible and ultimately enlightening way of exploring the practical application of psychology in everyday life.'

Anita Maguire

‘Pub psychology offers a rare opportunity to learn, profoundly listen and critically discuss key psychological topics that we encounter in our everyday lives. Great - I can feel my neurons growing after each session!’

Nic Malcomson

'Great evening, learning about different issues while having fun and socialising'.

Josephine


Some recent sessions

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)Does it work?


Buddhist Psychology


Monogamy or non-monogamy?

Catch a liar – body language


SOCIAL CONFIDENCE

Dr Nash [email protected]

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THE GOLDEN RULE

• After all you know yourself better than anybody else, so why shouldn’t they trust you?

• So, if you feel not confident other will feel that you are not confident, if you feel confident others will think that you are.

• If you think you are honest, they will think that too.

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The others are likely to think and feel about you what you think or feel about yourself


INVOCATION BY IMAGE

Step one: recall a mental state

Step two: imagine how it looks like (shape, colour, location etc.)

Step three: bring that image into your mind when you want to bring the associated mental state

image

state

memory

state

image

state

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RELAXATION

Progressive relaxation

Contract and then relax each set of muscles in sequence. Start from your feet and gradually progress towards the top of your head.

Autogenic training • Make limbs feel heavy and warm • Allow breathing and heartbeat to calm down • Make the solar plexus area warm and make the forehead cool.

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POSTIVE THINKING

Sabotaging thoughts

• ‘I can’t make it’

• ‘I am not good enough’

• ‘I will be rejected or laughed at’

• ‘It was only luck'

Constructive thoughts• ‘I can try, and see how far I

can get’

• ‘I will do my best this is what matters most’

• ‘If somebody rejects me it is their loss not mine’.

• ‘It wouldn’t happen without me’.

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Focus on your strengths (and don’t be ashamed of your weaknesses)

• Bravery

• Curiosity

• Hard working

• Love for learning

• Honesty

• Open-mindedness

• Enthusiasm

• Thinking well

• Love

• Practical intelligence

• Creativity

• Kindness

• Emotional intelligence

• Modesty

• Being careful

• Self-control

• Beauty

• Courage

• Getting along with others

• Team work

• Hope

• Fairness

• Humour

• Spirituality

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Rehearse!

• Most people find difficult to come up with a good line when they really need it. So, when you feel bored (e.g. while waiting for a bus or being in a cash-till cue) imagine that the person of your dreams appears – now and there! What would you do or say? You are more likely to come up with some good ideas while not under pressure.

• Start conversations or engage with anybody (elderly people, children, workers, men and women). You can learn a lot from such experiences and you can learn to be more confident and relaxed.

• Role-play (in real life or imagination)

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MEETING NEW PEOPLE

JOB INTERVIEW

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5 steps to deal with rejection (5min)• Allow yourself any feelings but do not obsess

• Acknowledge that anyone can be rejected

• Do not take rejection personally

• Try to learn something from the experience

• Try again

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Saying ‘no’

• One of you should only say yes, and the other one should respond with no.

• The first one should try to say yes in such a way to make the other one say yes, rather than no.

• After a few minutes they switch sides.

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Comfortable distance

• Stand up• You are not allowed to talk to each

other! • You can only make three signs with

your hands:1.beckon the other to come closer2.request the other to move further away3.indicate that the other should stop • Alternate in making these signs.

The aim of the exercise is to get to the point that both of you are comfortable with the distance between you.

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Personal Well-Being Centre

www.personalwellbeingcentre.org

[email protected]

http://www.personalwellbeingcentre.org/

mailto:[email protected]

Health & Medicine

Social confidence