Anger man agement

ANGER ManAgeMenT

D.V. Madhusudan RaoDept. MBA,

School of Graduate Studies,Jigjiga University, ETHIOPIA

Madhusudan Rao D.V. 2

Introduction• Anger is actually a manifestation of a selfish, unfulfilled

desire. Almost all the time, its presence is felt only by the havoc it causes, like a hurricane that becomes visible to the naked eye only when it destroys everything in its path. Anger is a violent outburst of emotion stemming from the frustration of the individual.

• Anger is rooted in fear - a state of helplessness, real or imaginated. Before we can control anger, and thereby reap its benefits, we should understand the origin of anger. Since it is a manifestation of unappeased passion, or a strong desire non-gratified, we must go back to the very beginning of the formation of a desire.

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Contd..• A study of the anatomy of a thought is required if we are to

understand the logical evolution of anger. Deep and intense desire is the very beginning of any activity. When a person constantly dwells on a thought, without his or her knowledge an attachment is developed. Attachment always causes a person to possess and enjoy the object of attachment. When that desire cannot be fulfilled there arises anger - a state of mind in which the person loses complete control of his mental faculty to discriminate. An angry person loses his memory in which is stored all the past experiences and knowledge necessary for logical thinking and proper human behavior. Thus, when the power of discrimination (which is the ability to differentiate right from wrong) is lost, that individuals who are consumed buy extreme anger behaving in an illogical way, and when resorting to violence in their interaction with others.

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Contd…• We are all the victims of anger at one time or the other.

Indeed, management of anger will ensure peace of mind and harmony not only for the angry person, but for others around him. Anger gives rise to some evil vices. They are:1. Injustice

2. Persecution

3. Jealousy

4. Murder

5. Cruelty

6. Physical abuse

7. Verbal abuse

8. Rash behavior.Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013


HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER

• Logically it follows that if you control your passion, you can get a handle on your anger. Anger starts with a minor irritation and it can grow into an obsession that disease the mind.

• Anger can be corrected with behavioral modification.

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STAGES OF ANGER

There are three stages in the development of Anger in a person:

1. Thought stage

2. Speech stage

3. Action stage

A man of perfection is one who will nip the anger in its bud itself; he will not even entertain angry thoughts. He will neutralize them by various thought-management techniques. After constant practice, there may not be even traces of anger left in such a human being.

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1. THOUGHT STAGE

• This is the best stage for any anger to be controlled. It is like the beginning of the formation of hurricane in the Atlantic Ocean. If certain atmospheric conditions are present the hurricane could turn out to be a devastating one capable of inflicting untold damage on its victims. Similarly, if we do not check the progressive formation of anger at the thought stage, it could develop into anger in its final stage of wrath.

• Anger at the thought stage is like a thief. If you give it a stern look, it will flee from the backyard of your mind. You can employ any of the thought-management techniques described earlier to remove the traces of anger from the realm of thought. More important, be aware of when you are getting angry, and this awareness alone can remove traces of anger.

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2. SPEECH STAGE• If you are unable to control anger at the thought stage, you should do so

before it enters the speech stage. You know that thoughts have already been formed and you can not undo them. Anger then threatens to enter the speech stage. Probably one of the worst pollutants in the world today is our speech, whereby our mental atmosphere is polluted with the venom of verbal abuse. A conscious effort to clean up one’s vocabulary is more important than cleaning up the ocean after an oil spill.

• Silence is the best remedy to control anger before it reaches the speech stage. Do not utter a word if thoughts of anger dominate your mind. A word uttered cannot be taken back; it will ring in someone’s ears for a lifetime.

• We must be constantly watching the conditions of our mind like a meteorologist watching the atmosphere for early detection of dangerous formations in the air. Once you are in control of your mental atmosphere, you will be keenly aware of every change taking place in the realm of the mind. When thoughts of anger arise in you, you are there to flush them out before they can develop into threatening emotions. In the beginning, until you become familiar with anger management, you must have a ready plan to tackle anger.

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STEPS IN ANGER MANAGEMENT - SPEECH STAGE

1. Observe complete silence.2. Drink a glass of cold water to induce calmness.3. Repeat the following affirmations: a. I am calm and cannot be provoked. b. I forgive you (to whom ever is causing anger in you directly of indirectly). c. Anger is a stage of helplessness. I am not helpless as God helps me always. d. Sit down, close your eyes, and take five deep breaths (belly breathing).

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3. ACTION STAGE

• When your anger has crossed the speech stage, it is in a dangerous zone. It is probably going to take violent proportions unless checked.

• It is a good idea even in modern times to have a designated room to enter when anger has crossed over to the speech stage. The following rooms could be used for that purpose:

1. Bed room - Enter the room and lie down even if you cannot sleep. No violence will erupt from you if you are lying down.

2. Prayer room - Wash your face with cold water and enter the prayer room. Close your eyes and try to enter into a meditative stage. Even if you cannot meditate, the vibrations in the prayer room will help you get out of the energy mood.

3. Take a walk - You can even leave your house (do not drive, of course) and breathe some fresh air. It can change your mental state and help you out of your rage.

4. Take a shower - Another effective method is to take a shower in cold or semi-cold water.

5. Change of scenery - Under any circumstances, you must get away from the person who caused the anger in the first place. This will avoid any untoward or violent actions toward that person.5/21/2013


DON’TS FOR AN ANGRY PERSONAn angry person must prepare himself beforehand to avoid the following actions:1. Never enter into a shouting match with the person who caused your anger.2. Stay at least five feet away from that person.3. Never keep anything in your hands that could harm that person.4. Always have a designated person (your spouse, son, daughter, friend, or co-

worker) to watch you over and drive you home if necessary.5. Never drive when you are angry. Wait at least a couple of hours before

driving. Within this time the emotions that ran high will start to recede.6. Do not do anything that will enhance your anger, such as watching violent

movies or T. V. shows.7. Advise your family members beforehand if they truly love you to keep quiet

when you are angry.8. Do not dwell on your past angers and their consequences, no matter what

they were.

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References

• American Psychological Association: Psychology Topics www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html

• Dr. Weisinger’s Anger Workout Book: Step-by-Step Methods for Greater Productivity, Better Relationships, and Healthier Life

• Lifewatch Employee Assistance Program www.lifewatch-eap.com

• The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook -By Edmund J. Bourne, PhD

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http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html

http://www.lifewatch-eap.com/

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Anger man agement