THE BIG PRINT Showing the Action

SHOW DONT TELL !You dont write a movie - you see it!!!

The experience of reading a script should be less like reading prose and more like actually watching the film

The writing should leap off the page.

DEVELOP AN AWARENESS OF THE IMAGES YOUR WORDS PUT IN PEOPLES MINDS.

The Word is ACTION !Dont think of it as DESCRIPTION think of it as ACTION!!

People and things MOVING!!!

You are writing MOTION pictures!!!

Dont describe THINGS; describe THINGS HAPPENING!

The Devil is in the Details

INT. JOE'S LOUNGE ROOM DAY Pizza boxes and empty beer cans litter the floor.

INT. JOE'S LOUNGE ROOM DAY A vase of fresh cut flowers on a doily atop the piano.

Hidden Descriptions The best place to hide a description is within an action.

INT. JOES LOUNGE ROOM DAY Joe brushes away old pizza boxes, plops down on the sofa.

OR. INT. JOES LOUNGE ROOM DAY Joe pads lazily into the candle-lit room, martini in hand. He eases himself luxuriously onto the large, overstuffed white sofa, and takes a sip.

The SMS of Description Screenwriting is distilled writing.

It works best when it evokes, when it multiplies the meaning.

The trick is to chose words that IMPLY other words!

WORD CHOICE Find the EXACT word to match the situation.

This will help to create quick, easy to read sentences... & will efficiently convey character-specific details.

e.g.: Joe saunters in, strides in, struts in, strolls in, marches in, paces in, bounces in - not only does this give us a specific type of walk, it adds to the action and character while removing boring overused words from your script.

Writing with ATTITUDEDont describe how something LOOKS, but how it FEELS.

Put ATTITUDE into your descriptions

for example EXT. URBAN JUNGLE, 2019 AD -- EVENING

Midst the wreckage of civilization, a emaciated figure (ALAN) stumbles along a shadowy street of crumbled buildings, broken glass and the detritus of war.

Downed power lines arc and spark over burnt out cars, casting shadowy fingers that might reach out and grab anyone foolish enough to be caught in this part of town.

The place makes Hell look like Beverly Hills... except the battered twisted metal sign reads "Beverly Hills".

Avoid too much Black Stuff Observe the Four Line Rule. No single passage of action should take up more than four lines!!!

Every four lines, put in a blank line (gap).

This instantly adds more "white stuff" to your script!

STYLE Develop your own personal style of writing action passages. Style breaks up the page and makes your writing distinctive.

Using sounds like "BLAM!" or "CLANG!"

Dont be afraid to EXPERIMENT

For example One Word Sentences Which Draw The Reader Down The Page

CHARACTERWrite ONLY THINGS THAT CAN BE SEEN AND/OR HEARD!!

Avoid describing back-story!!! e.g.:

SALLY is in her 40s. Now a stout, jovial woman, she used to be a track star in college. She has a good sense of humour, but dont push her too far or shell bite back.

Character, continued REMEMBER!!! ONLY WHAT CAN BE SEEN AND HEARD!!!

Tommy sighs, remembering the conversation from earlier.

The only thing we see and hear is Tommy sighing.

Good screenwriting means finding the OUTWARD SIGNS of the INNER EXPERIENCE.

Character, continuedDescribe your character in four words.

Lawrence Kasdan managed that amazing feat in his script for Body Heat :

"Teddy Laurson, rock and roll arsonist."

Kill the Widows! When the last word of a sentence carries over onto a new line of print it's called a WIDOW.

Rewrite so as to kill all the widows.

Also - if one or two words from the end of a sentence end up taking up on the next page, rework the sentence until you can get it to fit entirely on the page where the sentence starts. This will force you to eliminate useless or fatty words, and more succinctly.

No Buts! Or Ands!The easiest two words to trim out of a sentence are AND and BUT. Usually these words are completely unnecessary. Cut them.

Confidence Know what every sentence and every word means, and write clear enough so that anyone who reads your script understands what you have written.

Write strong sentences and strong images.

Page Turners Little cliff hangers at the end of your page force the reader to turn to the next page. Add extra spaces or trim entire lines so that you can end every page on a moment of suspense.

e.g.: If there is a moment where the hero is about to be killed but saves himself, make sure the about to be killed is at the end of one page so that the reader has to turn the page and keep reading to get to the saves himself part.

Samples of BIG PRINT WHAT ABOUT:

While Tommy works frantically to adjust the steam valve, Nancy keeps lookout.

How effective a description is this?

Remember: Show! Dont Tell! While Tommy works frantically to adjust the steam valve, Nancy keeps lookout.

Keeps lookout does not give much of a visual image.

Keeps lookout is telling us what shes doing, not showing us.

Show, dont tell.

Hence Tommy works frantically to wrench the rusty steam valve shut. Nancy stares nervously out the dirty window.

SAMPLE TWO INT OBRIEN HOUSE KITCHEN DAY The OBrien family has just moved into their new house in Oak Street small bungalow outside Santa Cruz. But it hasnt helped. Theyve been on each others nerves for days, and Tommy has been wishing they were back in Sacramento.

SAMPLE TWO - Rewrite EXT OBRIEN HOUSE DAY A small brick bungalow flanked by two sad palm trees, sags into the dead grass dotted with complaining seagulls. INT OBRIEN HOUSE KITCHEN DAY Some boxes have been shoved to one side of the counter, power cords hanging out of them, to make room for three days worth of dirty dishes. The faucet is dripping.

AMANDA storms in, nearly tripping over a stack of saucepans and lids.

Rewrite continued

CATHERINE (O.S.) Amanda!

AMANDA Im doing them!

CATHERINE (O.S.) Aman-da! Amanda clatters the last dish into the sink, runs to the dining room side.

Rewrite conclusion AMANDA I hate this house! I hate it! I hate it! Whyd we have to leave? CATHERINE slumps in. Tosses her cigarette in the sink. CATHERINE (to herself) I hate it too, honey. But its just til your father finds a job.

SAMPLE THREE The battle is cruel. The men fight fiercely, outnumbered, digging in with the little artillery and armour they still have. A dozen men hold off a half a dozen tanks. Finally, carrying satchel charges and claymore mines, they hurl themselves at the tanks.

SAMPLE THREE - Rewrite YURI grabs a claymore mine. IVAN Youll never make it! Dont! YURI I have to try!

IVAN Its madness, comrade. YURI ignores him, pulls the fuse, and darts down the thirty yards of rubble to the lead tank.

Rewrite continued BOOM! A shell explodes, hurling him back. Yuri staggers.

A GERMAN aims. BAM!

YURI spins, staggers. Another bullet rips through him.He falls to one knee. Then forces himself back up. YURI staggers, dying, for the lead tank. He gets close, starts to hurl the claymore at the tanks treads

Rewrite continued BOOM! Another shell explodes YURIs gone!

IVAN stares, stunned.

IVAN Goddamn it.

The lead tank rolls forward, onto YURIs claymore mine. A HUGE explosion erupts.

Rewrite conclusion

When the smoke clears, the lead tanks right tread is destroyed, torn clean off the wheels.

The tank turns in a ragged circle, wheels spinning aimlessly. This is one piece of the Wehrmacht that isnt going home to Berlin.

DONT Big Print the DialogueAvoid writing big print that says things like: Jim and Bob are discussing sports when Tom comes in. If the cameras on Jim and Bob, we ought to be hearing their dialogue. BUT

If the characters are talking at the back of a crowded bar, and the scene has Toms point of view (POV), then

INT BAR NIGHT

Tom pushes the doors open. Looks around. In the back, Jim and Bob are speaking to one another. Bob looks up, sees Tom, and waves him over.

You can also get away with writing action that doesnt literally communicate something you can see or hear, provided it is shorthand for something that you can.

Dylan looks the painting over, smiling. Nice. We dont know literally that Dylans been thinking nice but its shorthand for saying, with a relaxed and approving smile.

Directing the actors The BIG PRINT can also be used very effectively to signal actors as to the sort of behaviour, gestures and/or facial expressions that communicate non-verbal meanings within the action of the story.

For example:

Jack keeps pounding at the door, crying, but were beginning to get the sense that his heart isnt in it.

OR Nathan smiles in spite of himself. Joe starts to say something. Frowns. Somethings bothering him, but he cant quite put his finger on it.

What about DIRECTING the camera?

Directing the Camera? BAD IDEA!!!

BUT

What if you want to give a specific visual effect? For example, what if you want to open a scene by showing someones feet walking across the floor?

The solution is to show us only what you want us to see.

FEET walk across the floor and disappear behind a door.

This is a virtual close-up.

The reader sees what you want him to see.

Directors will ignore explicit camera directions, but you can still express the image in a way that allows you to convey the image to the reader the way YOU see it.

Consider the following:

JOE hits the ground rolling, firing the .45 as he rolls. STEVE takes a slug inthe gut, smashes backward through theshowroom window, glass shattering. Hefalls until he slams into a car roof,arms sprawled awkwardly.

Is this the best way to express this action?

What about? JOE hits the ground rolling, firing the .45 BAM! BAM! BAM! As he rolls STEVE takes a slug in the gut, smashes backward through through the window, glass shattering falling falling - THUMP! Steve slams into a car roof, arms sprawled awkwardly.

USE LOTS OF WHITE SPACE Remember, youre trying to write a page a minute.

A quarter page of action should take fifteen seconds of screen time.

As a general rule, if you want two events to be in different virtual shots, they should be in different paragraphs. If you want them to be in the same virtual shot, they might be two sentences but in the same paragraph.

SEX AND VIOLENCE Gratuitous sex and violence dont belong in your script because they dont belong to DRAMA!!!

Gratuitous means for free, and there shouldnt be anything in a well-told dramatic story that isnt paid for EMOTIONALLY.

More SEX and ViolenceSEX isnt gratuitous if its important to the story (the emotions).Likewise, VIOLENCE isnt gratuitous if its part of the story, i.e.: connected to the emotional logic of the characters. The question is: how graphic do you want to get?Less is more. You should show as little as we need to see for you to tell the story. Let the readers imaginations fill in the details.

Ho hum. The more outlandish the violence the easier it is to take LESS IS MORE therefore If you have a physically abusive husband whos going to get his just desserts later on, you dont need to show him beating his wife on-screen. Instead, you might use the point of view of their daughter, whos in bed in the next room. It will still convey violence and at the same time provide character information about the daughter. REMEMBER!!! What we can imagine is usually more powerful than what we can show.

MONTAGEMONTAGE - From the French word for editing.

Describes a series of images, usually without dialogue, edited together to show a bunch of things happening in one place, or the passage of time, or two lovers having a good time in the beginning of their relationship, or the progress of a relationship from good to bad, etc etc (e.g.: Citizen Kane). Do not use MONTAGE in the scene heading! When you write the word you push your reader out of the experience of seeing the movie.

Example of writing Montage

EXT GARDEN DAY Two girls are skipping rope.

A man in a top hat is riding a unicycle. The Devil is walking down the steps, whistling a jaunty tune. A fat man is ringing a bell and laughing.

EDITING YOUR SCENES Where do you start and end your scenes?The simple answer is: get into your scene as late as you can, make your point, and get out as soon as you can.On the simplest level, dont show the guy coming in the door.

For example INT MAXS OFFICE DAY Carl opens the door, strides over to Maxs desk. MAX Carl? Carl slams the piece of paper on the desk. CARL What the hell does this mean?

A better alternative INT MAXS OFFICE DAY Carl slams the piece of paper on Maxs desk.

CARL What the hell does this mean?

Dont RESOLVE scenes After a page or two of brilliant dialogue, ending with Max agreeing, What could possible go wrong?, cut straight to what goes wrong.

Dont let the scene trail off with the guys shaking hands and Carl going out the door.

Suggestion: Write each scene long and see how much of the beginning and end you can drop without losing the point of the scene

Always ASK YOURSELF Where does the CONFLICT begin and where does it end?

In the previous example, the argument cant begin until Carl reveals the paper, so thats where you start the scene/sequence.

CROSSING THE EMOTIONAL LINE POINT OF VIEW Point of view includes : 1.things that the character sees his/her literal point of view 2.things the character doesnt see, but will eventually know happened and/or 3.things that directly affect the character

EXAMPLE In a thriller where the main character is a detective investigating a series of murders, you may often want to show the killer at work.

So long as the things we see the killer do are things that the detective will eventually learn about, the picture stays in the detectives emotional point of view.

EXAMPLE of things that directly affect the character In a movie where the hero is a woman being stalked, we might see the stalker making his preparations say, finding where shes escaped to, heading over to see her (e.g.: Sleeping with the Enemy).

What he is doing directly affects her, so we continue to identify with her even though the camera is seeing things that she doesnt know about, and that she may never know about.

The literal POV of the film is with the stalker but the emotional POV of the film is with her.

REMEMBERPOV is maintained by:

1. things that the character sees and hears his/her literal point of view

2. things the character doesnt see, but will eventually know happened (emotional POV)

3. things that directly affect the character (emotional POV)

Breaking the emotional POV You break the emotional POV of the detective in 1 if you show something that the detective will never uncover, or

in 3, if the stalker does something that doesnt affect the woman if, for example, he takes a break to have some ice cream with some kids.

Writing Point of View CARRIE frowns This merely shows us Carries facial expression. The emotional POV is either neutral or it belongs to some other character whos seeing it. BUT!

CARRIE frowns, troubled. Gets us into Carries heart just enough for us to feel her emotion, without going so deep into her mind that it cant be filmed.

This is EMOTIONAL POV!

Two ways of writing Point of View INT OLD MANS HOUSE CARRIES ROOM DAYCarrie wakes up, alert. SARA (O/S) I just read this Wired piece you wrote. NICK (O/S) Oh yeah? Damn, I mustve left it lying around. Carrie sits up, eager. continued

Continued INT OLD MANS LIVING ROOM DAY Carrie pokes her head in. Sara is unfolding a piece of paper out of her back pocket.

Nick is doing the crossword puzzle on the coffee table.

Alternative Point of ViewINT OLD MANS LIVING ROOM LATE AFTERNOON

Nick is doing the crossword puzzle on the coffeetable. Sara pulls a folded-up piece of paper outof her back pocket. SARA I just read this Wired piece you wrote. NICK Oh yeah? I mustve left it lying around.He looks up. Carries watching them from the doorway.

PRINCIPLES TO LIVE BY Never eat at a place called Moms.

Never Play cards with a guy named Dad.

Never go to bed with anyone who has more problems than you do.

Dramatic Principles

Less is MoreSimple is DifficultWriting IS re-writingThere are no principles.

THATS ALL FOLKS!!!!