The Squeaky Clean Legacy 17.4: Love, Death, and Love

Whenwelastle+theSqueakyCleanLegacy,ourGenera9onNineheiressElaineGoodytwoshoeshadjusthadadisappoin9ngroman9csetback.Herfriendsandfamilywereextremelyworriedabouther.HerfriendIanLegacinaralliedaroundwithsomeemo9onalsupport,andshereturnedtotheLegacyhouseforacourseoftreatment,includingatonicinventedbyMaxGoodytwoshoes,icecream,andkiIens.Sheisnowbackatschool...

...fullyrecovered.Infact,sheisconsiderablystrongerthanshewasbefore.

See?

Shehasbeenusingher9meprofitably,earninggrantmoney...

...finishinghergoldflowermakingbadge....

....wri9ngtermpapers....

Elaine:OW.

And,ofcourse,beingadmiIedtothesecretsociety.

Overattheboys’house,therearealsoSecretSocietyabduc9onsgoingon.

Bunthorne:Anotherabduc9on?You’renotasecrettoanybodyanymore;whycan’tyoujustmailpeopleamembershipcardanddecoderpin?

TheonlygoodsideaboutSecretSocietyabduc9onsisthatonceinawhiletheyprovideaniceaddi9ontothedatepool.UnluckilyforBunthorne,thedormiehedecidedwasHotalsohappenstobeHeathertheEventualZombie,andshe’searmarkedinthishood,sonothingdoing.

TelemachushasbeenmuchluckierwithhisSecretSocietydormie,Asia.Shelikeshimalotandshe’scute,ifabitconfused.

Telemachus,youprobablyoughttotellherthatyou’vegotnothingtodowiththealiensfromAvatarandthatyoudon’thaveamagictail.Idon’tthinkyourfatherUlysseswouldapproveifhethoughtyouweregeWngac9onunderfalsepretenses.

Telemachus:I’msorry,Ican’thearyouoverthesmootching.

Healsohasafacelikeafish,butatleastit’sacutefish.

Palomides’rela9onshipwithGroceryGirlStaceyGothierhasbeengoingextremelywell.

Infact,hethrewapartyjustforherand....

Stacey:OMGreallyinfrontofallthesepeople?

Palomides:Infrontofallthesepeople.ANDthefish.

Fish:BLORP.

Obviously,they’rehappy...

....butIwonderwhatElainewillmakeofit?Shejusthadtobreakoffherownengagementnottoolongago.Won’tthisbringbacksomepainfulmemories?

Elaine:Welcometothefamily,Stacey!AndPalomides,congratula9onsonfindingagirlwho’swillingtoputupwithyou.

Stacey:Ilovethewayhe’ssoconcernedandinvolvedandthewayyouneverhavetoguesswhathe’sreallythinking!

Elaine:AsIsaid...

ElainedidseeminterestedingeWngtoknowherfuturesisterinlaw,whilePalomidesletallhisguestsknowhowhappyhewasinhisownspecialway.

Itlooksasthoughshe’sen9relyoverAngus.

Meanwhile,overatthechi‐chiFrenchbakeryJ’Adore....

Gilbert:DidZanesaywhatisthemaIer?

Cass:No,buthesoundedreallysadonthephone.HesaidhewantedtotalktoyoualoneandItoldhimtocomerightover.

Cass:I’mgoingtocheckonthemarzipansupplyintheback.Callmeifyouneedme.

Zane:YouknowIwasgoingtofindoutwhoIreallywas?Well,itwasbad.REALLYbad.

IknowIpromisednottotellyouorDaddyCassunlessyouaskedandI’mgoingtokeepthatpromise,but....itwasbad.AlotworsethanIthought.

Gilbert:Pauvre enfant.Andyoutellthistothepe9teLenore?Shesaystoyou,youarenolongerthemanIlove,Ispurnyouradvances,donotdarkenmydooragain?

Zane:Oh,no,Lenorewasgreat.Shesaidshe’dlovemenomaIerwhat.Butyoudon’tunderstandhowhorriblethethingsIfoundoutwere.Aboutmymother.Aboutmyfather.Aboutme.

It’snotsomethingyoucouldaskanyonetoaccept,andcertainlynotagirlyoureallylove.SoItoldher...

Gilbert:Tellmethatyoudidnotsayyouwereseeinghernolongerforherowngood.

Zane:Well,no,that’spreIymuchwhatIsaid.Howdidyouknow?

Gilbert:Nom de Dieu.

Gilbert:Zane,Iraiseyoufromachild.Tellme,yourPapaCassandI—wetellyouwhattodoanymore?Wedecidewhatisgood,whatisbadforyou,andthenwemakeyoudoit?Isthiswhatwedo?

Zane:Well,no,ofcourseyoudon’t,becauseI’manad—

‐‐oh,boy.

Zane:Youmeanthatwastrea9ngherlikeachild?Ineverthoughtofthat.Ijustwantedtoprotecther.Papa...YouhavenoideahowhorribleIam;whatamonster.

Gilbert:Youaremyson.Ourson,andaJacquet.TheJacquets,wedonothavemonstersinourfamily.

Cass:Exceptyou,whenyou’redisappointedintheeggsupplier.

Gilbert:Idonotwishtoknowwhatyoufindout...

Cass:Meeither.Ifit’sthatbad,Idon’tneedtoknow.

Gilbert:Zane,youareourgood,kindson,andweloveyouabsolutely.Rememberthis.

Zane:Iblewit.She’snevergoingtoforgivemeforthis.

Gilbert:Shelovesyou,yes?Andyoucanbutask.

Cass:Aw,don’ttakeyourDadtooseriously,honey.He’snotreallyupsetwithyou.Betweenyouandme,hewasjustpissedoffthathemightnotbeabletobakeyouaweddingcake.He’sbeencoun9ngonit.

Gilbert:Andthis...Itisforyou.

Zane:Whatisit?

Gilbert:Itisagateauauchocolat.Useitwisely.

Zane:Um,thanks.

Zane:Thanksforeverything.Thanksforlovingme.

Gilbert:Itisadutyremarkablyeasy.

Zane:Thanksforcomingtotheparkwithme,Lenore.Iwasn’tsureyou’dcome.

Lenore:Ithoughtmaybeyou’dhaveanexplana9onforallthestuffyousaid.AndIhopeit’sagoodone.“IfoundmyselfontheInternet?”“It’snotyou,it’sme?”“You’llbebeIeroffwithoutme?”Ihaveneverheardsuchbullshitexcusesinmylife.Icertainlydidn’texpecttohearthemfromyou,ofallpeople.

Zane:Holdit.YouSTILLhaven’theardthemfromme.WhenhaveIeverliedtoyou?Justbecauseamillionotherguysusethoseas...youknow,excuses,doesn’tmeanIwould.

ItwasdumbandIwaswrong,andIcanseeIreallyhurtyou,andI’msosorryaboutthat.

Zane:IguessIwasinshock.I’djustfoundoutthatIwasdead.IfoundoutIwasDeathinperson.Itwashorrible.OfcourseIhadtofindoutwhoIreallywasandtellyoueverything.Icouldn’thaveaskedyoutomarrymeifIhadn’t.

Zane:ButIguessa+erthewayIacted,youwouldn’twanttoanymoreandIdon’tblameyou.Imissedyoueveryminute,Lenore.ItwassohardnottocallyoueverydayandhearyourvoiceandtellyouIloveyou.

Thatprobablysoundedlike...Likenonsense,too.

Lenore:Notsofast,Slick.You’renotgoinganywhere.Foronething,Iblewit,too.Yeah,Iwasrighttobepissedoff,butyou’reright.Ishouldn’thavethoughtyou’dmakeupabunchofexcusesandbreakupwithme.IshouldknowyoubeIerthanthatbynow.

Plus,Iwantyoutorollbacktothebitwhereyousaidyouwantedtomarryme.

Zane:OfcourseIwanttomarryyou.Iwantthatmorethananythingintheworld!YoumeanIneversaidthat?

Zane:Ithoughtyouknew.I’vealwaysknown.I’msorry,Lenore.

Lenore:Aw,Zane.You’vebankedupalotofBoyfriendPoints.You’reallowedtoboobuponce.

Lenore:Imissedyoueveryminute,too.Imean,NausicaaandIhaves9llbeengoingtopar9esandtakingElaineout,butIkeptthinkinghowmuchniceritwouldhavebeenifyouwerethere.

Zane:Really?

Lenore:Really,handsome.

Zane:Thisisn’tthewayIalwaysplannedit.Iwantedtohaveaspecialproposal—takeyououtsomewherenice,withflowers.Ididn’tthinkitwouldbejusttalkinginthepark.

Lenore:Tellyouwhat.Youcans9lltakemeoutandIcanpretendtobesurprised.

Zaneclearlythoughtthiswasanadequatecompromise.

See?They’recoolnow.Infact,ZaneevenbringsCasswithhimthenext9mehevisitsGoodygirls.

Cassseemedtoenjoyvisi9ngGoodygirlsa+erallthoseyearsandmadehimselfathome.

Elaine:Howdoesheevendothat?Ialreadycleanedupthatleafpile.

ElainehasalsobeenmakingmorefriendsandpledgingsomemorememberstotheGreekHouse.AllegraGoreyandMar9nRubencamealongwithJaneStacks,butonlyJaneisafull‐outmember,mostlybecauseIlikeher.

NausicaahasbeenaddingtoherDreamDates,allofthemwithNinoCaliente.

AndLenoreVisitedCampus,andbroughthomeacheapgasgrill.

Andtherewasmuchrejoicing.

IanLegacinaisafrequentvisitor.

He’salsogoodatclearingawayunwelcomevisitors.

Andlookinggoodwhiledoingso.

See?Heisahelpfulguytohavearoundthehouse.

Lenore:Yeah,wealllikehim.

Nausicaa:EvenLenore,andyouknowhowcrabbysheis.

Lenore:Hey!

Andofcourse,Ianisalsoalwayswelcomeatpar9es.

Zane:Psst.Parsifal.Seriously,whatisgoingonwiththem?

Parsifal:Shh.Don’tjinxit.

Bothcollegehousesgooutinbiggroupstohaveagood9me.

Andagain,Ianalwaysseemstobethere.There’sneveranydiscussionaboutwhethertoinvitehim.

Elaine:Ijustlikehavinghimaround.He’scomfortable.

Lenore:Psst, Gawaine.  What is she doing all the way over there? 

Gawaine: I have no idea. 

Lenore:There’s only two tables.  

Elaine:IwasthinkingofgeWngawayfromthepinkprincessylook,honestly.Maybeweshouldgoshopping,Regina.

Regina:YouthinkI’mgoingtobemuchofahelpthere?Well,Icantry,butifIwantedtoupdatemylook,Iwouldn’taskmeeither.

Palomides:Isn’tyourchairallwobbly,Elaine?Don’tyouthinktheymaybehavebeIerchairsattheothertable?

Elaine:No,thisone’sfine.AndIwasjustabouttogetupanddanceanyway.

Lenore:Huh. 

. . . Nah.  Not gonna ask.

Elaine:Aw,thanksforinvi9ngmeover,Gawaine.

Elaine:Iassumeallthreeofyouareabouttogrillmeaboutmylovelife.

Gawaine:Wouldwedosomethinglikethat?

Elaine:Youalwaysdothingslikethat.

Gawaine:Ofcoursenot.WejustwantedtoshowyouournewMah‐Jongtable.Didn’twewanttoshowElaineournewMah‐Jongtable,gentlemen?

Palomides:Oh,yeah!

Parsifal:Ofcourse!

Gawaine:Andrightnow,it’sforimmediatefamilymembersonly,isn’tit?

Gawaine:Isn’tit,Bunthorne?

Bunthorne:Psht,Iwasjustgoing.Youguysareaboutassubtleasabagofhammers.

Elaine:Sigh.Allright.Goahead.

Palomides:Tilesonthetable?OK.You’reaRomanceSim.

Gawaine:You’renotevenda9ng.We’reworriedthatyouaren’thappy.

Elaine:IthinkIcanmanagemyownroman9clifeformyself,thankyou.

Boys:....

Elaine:Well,Ican!

Palomides:Personally,Idon’tunderstandwhyyouaren’tda9ngIa—

OW,PERCY!Thatbroketheskin!

Elaine:Look,I’mgladyouwanttolooka+erme,butI’vechangedalotsinceIbrokeupwithAngus.Idon’twanttorushintoanything.Iwasintoomuchofahurry,and...andIsawthingsthatturnedoutnottobethere.

Idon’tevenknowifthekindofloveIwantedexists.Idon’twanttomakeanymoremistakes.

Palomides:Well,thataboutwrapsitupforus.PercyandIhavethingstodo.Things.Now.

Elaine:Aren’tyougoingtogrillme,Gawaine?

Gawaine:Me.Noooo.It’satoughlinetowalk,youknow,beingyourolderbrother.Ifeelasthoughbefore,with–

Elaine:Angus.Youcansayhisname.

Gawaine:Idon’treallyliketo,butallright.Ididtoomuchandnotenough.Iwantyoutobehappy,andIdon’twantyoutogethurt.Weallfeelthesameway.Canyoublameus?

IcankeepParsifalandPalomidesfromannoyingyou,butpromisemeyou’llcometalktousfirst,wherever,wheneveryouneedus.

Elaine:Allright.‐‐Thatwasit?Really?

Gawaine:Really.Oh,andIjustcleanedyouout.

Zane:Doyoulikeithere?Ithoughtitwouldbenicetogosomewherewehadn’tbeentobefore.

Zane:Youlookreally,reallypreIyinthat,bytheway.

Didyouknowthatwhenyouholdmyhand,Ijustneverwantyoutostop?

Zane:SoIbroughtyoualiIlesomethingsoyouneverhaveto.

Lenore:OMGWHATISTHAT??!!!??

Zane:Oh,comeon,Lenore.IknowIcanbeanidiot,butI’mnotTHATbigofanidiot.

Zane:Doyoulikeit,really?IaskedmyDadsforadviceandwelookedatsomethings,butfinally—

‐‐well,thatusedtobelongtoGrandmamaDenise,andwegotitresized.ItwasthemostspecialthingIcouldthinkof.

Lenore:Oh,Iloveit.ALLofit.Thedinnerandthedressingup,and....

...Oh,myGod,Zane,IthinkI’mgoingtocry.

Zane:OurkidsaregoingtowonderwhatIsaidtoyoutomakeyournoseallpink.Let’sgohomesoIcankissyou.

Thisisadrama9ccontrasttothewaysomepeoplebehaveinphotobooths.

SomepeopleincludingLenore’smotherCarmilla.She’sbeenworkingonherLTWofTwentyWooHoosandtherearesomedayswhenitfeelslikealotofwork.

ProfessorRorschach,forinstance.Carmilladoesn’twanttoseehimallthatmuchbutit’sthemiddleofthenightonacommunitylot,andwhoyougonnacall?

Carmilla:I’msurenobodywillrecognizemebehindthismagnificentspecimenofmanhoodhere.

EddieLegacy:Well!REALLY!

Eddie:She’schea9ngonStanley!

Theo:Iknow.

Eddie:OnStanley!Ididn’tknowitcouldbedone.Well,IthinkI’vedecidedtobereallyquiteupsetaboutthis.

Theo:Me,too.

HAH.Done!Toobadthatlastonecouldn’tbeStanleyorRhysorsomeoneyoulikedabitmore,Carmilla.Whywereyouinsuchahurry?

Carmilla:YousawEddieandTheo.Youthinktheywereupset?ImaginehowupsetLenorewouldbe.I’drathergopermaplatwhileshe’sincollege.

Carmilla:She’sengaged,youknow.

Really?

Carmilla:Shesayshismonstercreden9alsareperfect,butofcourseIwantLucy’sopinion.

Lucy:Well,atleasthe’sadecentmonster.Wecan’thaveLenoremarryingjustanyolds9nkyboy,Imean,ifshe’sgoIa.Psst,Spacely,overthere.

That’stheroIenpartaboutbeingaServoinahousewithareallypopularRomanceSim.ThemailisalwaysfullofloveleIers,andnoneofthemareforyou.

Lenore:Don’tbesilly,PapaGilbert,you’reoneofthefamilynow.Ofcourseyou’reinvitedtoGrandmaandGrandpa’sbirthday.

AppiusandJaneareaginguptoday.Theyputitoffwithelixiratleasttwice,buttheyreallydidwanttoGrowUpWell,andfinallyIhadtoletthem.

Jane’sthefirstelderwerewolfI’veeverhad.

AndthenthereisalongandhorriblepauseasthegamedecideswhetheritwillcreatethegraphicmiraclethatisaPlantsimGrowingUporwhetheritwillcrash.NoteCountWhoopieinthebackground,cheeringhisheadoff.

Therearealotofguests,invitedanduninvited.Thesimselvesweren’tinvited:theyseldomare.Candijustdecidedshefeltlikesomecakeandwalkedbytoday,bringingEphemeralToastwithher.

AchillesandUlyssesareinvited,ofcourse.

Ulysses:Docsendsherregards,Lucy.Youknow,Idon’trememberifI’vebeenbackheresinceyouandCarmillavampedme!Thanksformakingmeyourfirstvic9m,andyouknowImeanthat.

Youdon’tseeMaxbreakingupalot,butsomethingheandLucyarediscussingaboutDocNerdreallycracksthembothup.

Max:Grandpapa,Icannotbelievethatsheisasimprovedinhealthasyousay.Ialwayssaidtherewasagreatdangerofover9ringher.

Cecilia:IdofeelbeIerthanIhaveinyears.Papawasrighttotakemeonaworldtour.Thefreshair,thefishing,theflapjacks...

Max:Iwishyouwouldpermitmetotakeyourpulseatleast.

Cecilia:ButIreallydofeelverywell,andIdon’tknowwhoyouaretobetakingmypulse.

Max:Your...physician.

Cecil:Shehasinfactdrama9callyimproved.Idonotknowwhyyoucannotconcedethis,Maximilian,unlessitisbecauseyoucannotadmitthatIwascorrect.

Cecilia:Infact,IthinkIwillfindanicebooktoreadbeforebed.

Maximilian:Iwouldbehappytobeprovenwrong.Canyoubelieveotherwise?Isimplybelievethatyouhavealwayshadanunrealis9c...

Grandpapa,isMamaenteringthelibrary?

Cecil:Sheis.IsthisamaIerforconcern?

Max:Oh,God.

Max:Stopher!

Max:Wait!Donot...

Max:Too late.

Cecilia:It’shisurn!IthasSecundus’nameonit!

Cecil:Whatisthemeaningofthis?

Max:Sheknows.Atleastinpart,sheknows.

Cecil:Andwheredidyoufindthaturn?

Max:Iwillexplainlater.

Max:Looka+erher,Grandpapa.Makeherliedownifpossible.

Cecilia:Hedied,didn’the?

Cecil:Yes,deargirl.

Cecilia:Hediedalong9meago,didn’the?

Cecil:Yes,deargirl.

Cecilia:Whydidn’tIknow?

Max:ThisMUSTwork.Thisabsolutelyhastowork.

Cecilia:Whywasn’tItoldhewasgone?

Cecil:Youhavebeenunwell.Youhavenotbeenyourselfforaverylong9me.Youmustnotpressfurtherandendangeryourselfagain.

Cecilia:Thenwhereismyboy?

Pleasedonottellmeheisgone,too.Orrather,pleasedoifitisthetruth.Iammuchstronger.Icanbearit.

Cecil:Perhapsa+eryouhavehadsomeofMax’sremedy.Youwillfinditinthediningroom.

Cecilia:Thankyouforthe...

MAX.

Cecilia:Youhavehisnose.

Max:Pardon?

Cecilia:YouhaveSecundus’nose.Youaremyson,andIdidnotknowyou?Forthatlong?

Max:Iamafraidyoudidnot.

Cecilia:Oh,myMax.Iamsosorry.

Cecilia:Imissedyourbirthdays,Imissedyourgradua9ons.Imissedeverything.Iwillneverforgivemyself.Wewillnevergetthoseback.

Max:No,Iamafraidwewillnot.UncleLyIonwascorrect.Thingscanneverbeasthoughtheyhadneverhappened.

Max:Butwedohavethefuture....Mama?

Cecilia:Max.

Max:Youknowme.Youdo.

‐‐whereisGrandpapa?Heoughttobehere.

Max:Mama?Mama,youmustnot9reyourself.

Cecilia:Icanbearit.Ican.

Cecilia:Andinanyevent,Imust,forwhatistrueiswhatistrue.Anditistruethatheisgone.

Cecilia:Pleasedonotworryaboutme,Max.Iwillnevergobacktothatplaceofshadowsagain.

Cecilia:Wecanallrestnow.Iowesomuchtoyou,andtoPapa.Iwouldnotbewellagainifitwerenotforyou.IwishIcouldthankwhoeverfoundpoorSecundus.

Cecilia:Itwasyou.Itmusthavebeenyou.Areyouanangel?

SpiderJerusalem:HAH.Lady,youhavenoideahowfaroffthatis.

Cecilia:Itisnot.Youare.

Cecilia:Youaremygoodangel.

Cecilia:ThankyouforbringingmySecundushometome.

Max:ThewingsareabizarreandoutrétouchthatIdonotrecollecthavingseenbefore.

SpiderJerusalem:Hey,youheardyourMom.Ididagooddeed.Iearned‘em.Therewerebellsandeverything.

Max:Isuppose,giventhatmymother’srecoveryispar9allyowingtoyou,Ioughttothankyou.

SpiderJerusalem:Uh,youknowwhat?Don’t.Idon’twanttobethanked.Ijustwantedthaturnbackwhereitbelonged.

SpiderJerusalem:Itlooksnicethere,though.Allpeacefulandeverything.

Max:Yes.Itisnowwhatitalwayspretendedtobe.

Max:Atomb.

Gawaine:Thismee9ngoftheKnightsofthe..

Parsifal:...OblongTable...

Gawaine:...Yes,OblongTable,thankyouPercy...isnowinsession.

Gawaine:SomethingmustbedoneaboutElaine.

Palomides:Well,Is9llsaysheshouldjustgetwithIan.I’vealwaysthoughtthey’dbegreattogether.

Gawaine:YES,weknow,Palomides,you’vemadeyouropinionreallyclear.

Palomides:Butit’sdifferentthis9me,really,becauseItalkedtohim.

Palomides:  He said he knows exactly what Elaine’s been through, and it’s really bad for a Romance Sim like her.  He said her world’s been turned upside down and inside out and he just doesn’t think he should take advantage of that.   

Palomides:I said he should just shut up and kiss her already. 

Palomides:For some reason, he thought that was a bad idea.  But I wish he would, because I really like him. 

Parsifal:Ireallylikehim,too,Palomides.

Parsifal:Is9llfeelresponsibleforhowbadlyElainewashurt,though,andIdon’twantherinaposi9onwherethathappensagain.

Gawaine:Weshouldhavebeenthereforher.It’swhatwesworetodo.

Parsifal:Yes.Thereisn’tmuchforaknighttodothesedays.

Gawaine:Idon’tthinkweoughttointervene.

...unless,ofcourse,wereallyhavetoandit’sinherbestinterestsanyway.

Parsifal:What?Ithoughtwehadagreedtostayonthestraightandnarrowroadof...

Gawaine:Yeah,thatoughttodonicely.

Gawaine:Greatidea.Ilikeit.

Gawaine:JustanotherOu9ng.StandardissuePopSimOu9ng,wealllovethem.

Gawaine:Palomides,areyousureaboutthis?

Palomides:Oh,forcryingoutloud,yes!Idon’tknowwhatyourproblemis,Gawaine.You’retheonewhoalwayswantstosingKaraoke.I’malwaysrollingtheFearofitandifIcan,youcan,solet’sgetupthereanddoit.

Elaine:Oh,no.

Ian:What?

Palomides:Hello,ladiesandgentlemen,hopeyou’rehavingalovelyeveningatMidnightFlows.We’vegotaspecialrequestforaclassicballad,soIwanttoseethelightsloweredoutthere.

PalomidesandGawaine:

Why do birds suddenly appear Every Mme you are near? Just like me, they long to be, Close to yooooo. . . . 

Elaine:Ican’tbelievethem.Icannotbelievetheyaredoingthis,andIthoughtI’dseenitall.

Ian:Yes,they’reawful,butElaine,aslongasthey’regoingtoallthattrouble...

Ian:...areyousurewewanttowastethechance?

PalomidesandGawaine:Why do stars fall down from the sky Every Mme you walk by? 

PalomidesandGawaine:Just like me, they long to be Close to yooooo. . . 

PalomidesandGawaine:On the day that you were born the angels got together And decided to create a dream come true. . . 

Palomides:

So they sprinkled gold dust in your hair and stardust in your eyes of blue . . 

Gawaine:Brbddyp, brddyp 

PalomidesandGawaine:That is why all the boys in town Follow you all aroun‐NOUN‐NOUN‐NOUN. . .  

PalomidesandGawaine:

Just like me, they long to be Close to yooooo. . . . 

Woo‐ooo—ooo Close to yoooo . . . Wooo—ooo‐ooo Close to yooooo. . . 

Gawaine:YESITWORKED.

Palomides:Toldyouso.

Coverpicture;“CupidFindingPsyche,”SirEdwardBurne‐Jones.Credits:ThankstoOrikes,Pseudo Legacy,forIanLegacina;toPeasant007,Devereaux Legacy,forZaneDevereaux(Marius‐Jacquet);toDocNerd,VeMnari Dualegacy,forCassidy,SpiderJerusalem,andhersimself;toCandi,whoseGageUglacygotaliIleloveandtoDicreasy,Victorian Legacy,whoseEddieLegacyandTheoHarrisonexpresseddisapproval.

“ClosetoYou,”TheCarpenters.