14
Little Old Riding Hood and the Werewolf So one day Little Old Riding Hood was trying to broom the water out of her driveway after El Nino. She saw the water was coming down harder and decided to grab her goodies for grandma and go to the store to get some sandbags. She was half way there when her Alzheimer’s struck and she ran through the streets to get to her grandmother’s house. She ran into the redneck part of her neck of the woods. She strolled around picking snowflakes and didn’t notice the thing in the distance. The thing in the distance was careful to stay behind the trailers and finally made his presence known. He stepped out and said “hello my name is Patrick Wolf and I am not a werewolf.” “O”, she said, “ Well my name is Wilson Jones and I’m not a werewolf either”. “Hello Wilson,” He said. “Where are you going in this flood?” “Why to my grandmother’s house to give her some goodies” said Wilson pointing to her purse. “It must be ever so hard to walk with cankles and without boots. Wilson, why don’t I give you a lift?” “I dunno..i weigh about 150.” And with that he picked her up and jolted down further into redneck. They passed an abandoned cabin/trailer and she said “Patrick- Wolf-Who-Is-Not-A-Werewolf…I think that’s my granny’s house!!.” “Ok…” He said letting her down. She peered into window after window saying “here kitty kitty kitty…” “umm…is your grandmother a ‘kitty’?” asked Patrick. “pshh no!!” said Wilson in a tone that questioned his mental capacity. “I was hungry and wanted a cheeseburger.” The werewolf started getting impatient and said while grabbing her hand and running off, “I see her over there!” Then he made her follow him into his house and using a boat they went down the stairs into the basement. “Here is some Buddhist spiritual music for your

Little Old Riding Hood And The Werewolf

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

Little Old Riding Hood and the Werewolf

So one day Little Old Riding Hood was trying to broom the water out of her driveway after El Nino. She saw the water was coming down harder and decided to grab her goodies for grandma and go to the store to get some sandbags. She was half way there when her Alzheimer’s struck and she ran through the streets to get to her grandmother’s house. She ran into the redneck part of her neck of the woods. She strolled around picking

snowflakes and didn’t notice the thing in the distance. The thing in the distance was careful to stay behind the trailers and finally made his presence known. He stepped out and said “hello my name is Patrick Wolf and I am not a werewolf.” “O”, she said, “ Well my name is Wilson Jones and I’m not a werewolf either”. “Hello Wilson,” He said. “Where are you going in this flood?” “Why to my grandmother’s house to give her some goodies” said Wilson pointing to her purse. “It must be ever so hard to walk with cankles

and without boots. Wilson, why don’t I give you a lift?” “I dunno..i weigh about 150.” And with that he picked her up and jolted down further into redneck. They passed an abandoned cabin/trailer and she said “Patrick-Wolf-Who-Is-Not-A-Werewolf…I think that’s my granny’s house!!.” “Ok…” He said letting her down. She peered into window after window

saying “here kitty kitty kitty…” “umm…is your grandmother a ‘kitty’?” asked Patrick. “pshh no!!” said Wilson in a tone that questioned his mental capacity. “I was hungry and wanted a cheeseburger.” The werewolf started getting impatient and said while grabbing her hand and running off, “I see her over there!” Then he made her follow him into his house and using a boat they went down the stairs into the basement. “Here is some Buddhist spiritual music for your

listening enjoyment.” Then Patrick left to go play underwater tennis as he is dressed in the picture. When he returned Wilson said “ Welcome Patrick- Wolf-Who-Is-Not-A-Werewolf. I have much enjoyed listening to your CD. I believe you should rename this CD ‘The Magic Position’ since I have achieved it mentally.” “Whatever” Patrick replied nervously as he ran to his room to write that down. That night as he slept, Wilson Jones crept into his room and as he awoke she said” My, what big clavicles you have.” “Thank you” He replied. “And what pretty platforms you have.” “Thank you.” He said. “What a hairy face you have” “Thank you,” he said. Then Wilson’s Alzheimer’s kicked in and she dumped her purse on his bed. “Here Granny enjoy your goodies.” All her cosmetics came tumbling out. Now not only was Wilson suffering from Alzheimer’s but was also bipolar. As Patrick fumbled through her makeup it set Wilson off and she kidnapped Patrick and took him home where he is today, which is OK because he was going to eat her anyway.

THE END

Little Red Searching Hood and the Patrick-Wolf

Wilson Jones had been using Partick-Wolf-Who-Is-Not-A-Werwolf as a personal footstool for a few months. Wilson liked throwing clothes out the window if she was in a bipolar mood. Since she had Alzheimer’s she’d forget to pick up the clothes so Patrick would angrily pick them up because Emo Boy told him to. After El Nino when Wilson ran off to granny’s house…Emo Boy felt it was

better to lock her in her room until she took her meds. This makes her very angry but she does take her meds and then locks Patrick up again because, hey, how many hours of exercise does he need? But you might ask what does Patrick do all day? Emo Boy has to carry out Wilson’s orders like doing

laundry, making porridge, and shoes like Emo Boy’s (in the picture). Emo Boy disagreed with Wilson’s forced labor and one day told Patrick to stop making his Foxy Wolf shoes and slipped him a key to escape. Patrick said, “May the Magic Position be with you.” “Uhh leave! Ur making me EMO,” said Emo Boy in a melodramatic tone (even though he still didn’t know Patrick’s name). Patrick ran out into the street screaming and being near Chinatown almost got hit by a rickshaw. But then he ran away. Meanwhile Wilson Jones was fixating on having cankles when

she decided to get a pair of Foxy Wolf shoes. She went down into the factory/basement and as she gazed around….she saw how something was missing. Hmmm was it the rug? Nope…the shoes? Nope. She couldn’t figure it out so she went to her thinking/bed-room.

Since she has Alzheimer’s, she ended up in the swimming pool. Emo Boy was just swimming (in his own tears) when a fully clothed Wilson Jones jumped in beside him and seeing him there…she snapped. “God why are you in my room?!?!” She then smacked him but then she cooled down, leaving a stunned Emo Boy beside her wondering emo’ly what just happened… in a happy way since this added to the misery that was his life. She pondered on what was missing. Behind them a tired Patrick Wolf who had forgotten his notepad with ideas like renaming his Buddhist music the Magic Position, and was getting it back, scaled down the wall. Wilson Jones snapped out of it and smacked a semi-happy-that-I-have-a-reason-to-be-emo Emo Boy again on accident, yelling, “Patrick-Wolf-Who-Is-Not-A-Werewolf is gone!!!” She turned around and looked out the window and saw a tired Patrick Wolf turn and get hit by a rickshaw again. The same one that had been stalking him. Who was the driver? None other then Same Sam the Muslamic, wearing a veil on his muslamic face so Patrick wouldn’t recognize him. He had been stalking him longer then Wilson…anyway after seeing this, she ran outside, hopped in her purple minivan(leaving Emo Boy alone in the pool screaming that he was going to drown himself…or something like that) and although still behind the rickshaw, still chasing an on foot Patrick Wolf. Patrick fell in the mud a few times and since Same slowed down to hop out and try to catch him, it slowed the minivan down too. Then he got back up and ran and Same, having to get back in his rickshaw, held up Wilson. The a few miles later, the rickshaw lost a wheel and crashed into a ditch. Wilson sped up…finally and with Same yelling in the distance, followed Patrick(who is on foot).

He attempted to hide his now black self behind a black bucket. Wilson became so distracted that she lost control and crashed into a ditch. As the car was consumed in flames, she attempted to follow him on foot,

since he cant possibly go far with so much traffic and Same close behind(who was weeping because the rickshaw was stolen when he decided to abandon it to chase Patrick. Anyway, as Patrick lowered the bucket he saw a weird man

named Calliou behind him. “Hello” he said grabbing Patrick’s arm. “My name is Calliou and I smoke cat litter. I have a sister named Rosie, a cat named Gilbert, and a dinosaur named Rexi and I wear a wig. I have also lost me teeth in my old age…” As he rambled on, Wilson and Same neared. Wilson still in the lead. Patrick couldn’t wait any longer and so he interrupted Calliou saying, “ you sir are the ugliest and most annoying man I have ever seen! This is almost as bad as that time when that inconsiderate man kept clapping at my concert!! He ruined the show by the way. Calliou jeez put some normal clothes on!” Calliou still didn’t move so he added, “ I am a cannibal/warewolf and if you don’t let me go ima gonna bite that arm off!!!!” Calliou let go but he then started talking about his recent juvi run-ins. Now they were too close to outrun so he hid behind a giant fern. Calliou ran after him screaming, “ ACCIDENT!! EMERGANCY!! Oh my Buddhist god I cant find my baby?!?!” Patrick was thinking jeez is this guy ever gonna leave me alone?(but he did think that accident emergency would be a very good song title for his

mantras.)He spun around still on his knees and still behind the fern and for some reason (Buddha), now white and said “ Hey Calliou your baby’s on your back.” “ooo haha, I forgot” he said. Patrick was thinking at this moment, if Calliou ever comes to my concert, then im kicking him out. He grabbed a man’s safari hat and since leaping away would be obvious he hid, crawled behind Calliou. He ended up crawling through mud as Calliou walked. He grimaced and thought of how it was all Calliou’s fault. He thought he was in the clear so he stood up and to his horror came face to face with none other then Same Sam the Muslamic, who lunged towards him…so he threw Calliou into Same’s arms. He then ran backwards through the crowd. Wilson spotted him and pulled a tranquilizer dart out of her goody purse, aimed it at Patrick’s neck and shot 3 rounds. One hit Patrick. One hit Same and one hit Calliou. They all fell on each other with Patrick on the bottom. Calliou was tossed aside because he was too annoying but they kept Same as a “pet”. He now helps Patrick write non-buddhist sangs and Patrick went back with Wilson Jones and still makes foxy Wolf clothes in his spare time..as well as raking zen gardens.

THE END

QuackeyLocks and the Three Positions

Once there lived a spoiled boy. He was called QuackeyLocks because he had oat colored hair. He was born with the name Cameron. He was a spoiled boy and he has OCD. Cameron always wore 9 layers because he has a phobia of numbers that are multiples of 10 and compulsive towards the number 9. One day Cameron was coming home from

school, his friend Jimmy Choo wasn’t on…making Cameron the FIRST one off. He had to hide and ended up getting off at the 9th

stop. He came to a long driveway with a rickshaw at the mailbox. He took it and found the house deep within the forest. He came to the house and since the bus driver was still watching him even 3 miles later, to keep up appearances he went around the back. He lifted up the welcome mat and then lifted it up 8 more times looking for the key. He didn’t find ONE so he was still compelled to get inside. He took shovels and dug up 9 rocks. He threw all 9 at the windows. He

hopped in the window because he didn’t want to put ONE foot on the floor. He slipped on the floor’s area rug and fell. He, still smiling, came

face to face with a mug. It said “Christina”. He shouted loudly “CHRISTINA LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!”. He then said it 8 more times for a total of 9 times. Cameron got up and searched for some ointment for his “boo-boo’s”. He found that he had 10 of them so he had to fall down twice more to avoid his phobia of 1(0) and because he needed more boo-boo’s. He discovered he had ONE bruise and that’s a multiple of 10 so he hit himself in the face…2 perfect. By this time QuackeyLocks was mighty hungry. He opened the pantry and saw 2 of everything. Eating ONE would leave ONE left. Thank goodness, on the kitchen table, there was 3 bowls of Cameron’s favorite…oatmeal. There were even strawberries on top. First he tried the biggest bowl. It burnt his tongue. But he still kept smiling. As he looked closer it had “Christina” on it. “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO1 ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!” he screamed. Then he moved to the next bowl, medium, it was so cold that it made his tongue stick to it. He looked closer at it and it said “Patrick” on it. “PATRICK…I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT…LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Then he moved onto the smallest bowl. It said “Same Sam the Muslamic”. Cameron was sure that it would be a super hot bowl and super cold oatmeal. He picked it up and since he thought it was burning him, he threw it against the wall…still smiling. Next he had to fix the other oatmeals. He stepped over the splattered oatmeals and got 9 ice cubes and heated the “Patrick” oatmeal for 99 minutes. Then put the iced cubes into the “Christina” oatmeal and while he waited for the oatmeals to settle/heat…he went into the living room to relax. The first chair, the biggest…was labeled “Christina” Cameron had just sat down when he felt a squish. He pulled off the pillows and found boxes of Alzheimer's and bipolar pills and saw the restrainment straps on the chair. Cameron was really creeped out and didn’t say anthing for once. He moved to the medium sized chair…in the corner… it said “Patrick”….and when he sat down…he couldn’t reach the floor. Smiling he uttered, “PATRICK, LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!”IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. Then he spotted the platforms in the corner and stole them. The last chair he finally found in front of a door. It said “Same Sam the Muslamic.” “Whatever” Cameron said. He sat on it and it collapsed under him. He ran to the bathroom cuz he got A splinter in his hand. Since he only got one he ran

back and ran his hand along the wood again… still smiling. Then he attempted to fix everything by taking all the meds out of the couch and taking Elmer’s glue and nails and trying to put Same’s chair back together. Lets just say that if you saw it today…you’d think it was a very nice abstract sculpture…for a

kindy-gardener. Cameron was finishing when he heard the phone ring…once, twice,…9th. Then he was compelled to pick up and in a rabid voice said, “WHAT?!?!” “Who is this?” asked the guy. “Cameron, who’s this?” “Same. I think I have the wrong number. Im looking for Patrick.” “You sure do, don’t be calling m- Hey why don’t you redial your number,” “umm…. ok” Cameron waited for the second call to cure his OCD. Finally the phone rang and he picked up on the 9th ring. “Don’t ever call me again” he yelled and hung up the phone Smiling, he decided to take a nap. He went upstairs and found ONE big bed engraved “Christina”.

He found a hammer in the closet and now there is no bad upstairs. “CHRISTINA LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!” He knew there had to be at least 2 more beds. He found them in the basement. The medium bed’s quilt was inscribed “Patrick”. He got into it and started to perspire profusely and the blankets seemed to tighten around him as if they were trying to

smoother him. He was too HOT!! Angrily, but with a smile on his face, he hopped out and ran upstairs. “Ill show you HOT you vial smootherer!!” he exclaimed. He grabbed the matches and set the bed of fire. Next he moved the smaller bed inscribed “Same Sam the Muslamic”. He tried to sleep but he was WAY too cold. On the workshop bench, he found a pair of Foxy Wolf boots…nice and warm. Now he finally fell asleep in Same’s bed. Finally Wilson, Same Sam the Muslamic and Patrick-Wolf-Who-Is-Not-A-Werewolf came home. “I swear I left the rickshaw at the curb!” Patrick said “Yeah that’s why we found it by the door.” “Atleast this time he didn’t lose his wheel” added Wilson. “Hey that was technically your fault,” said Same. They opened the front door and instantly saw the kitchen windows had been broken. “Are we gonna die” asked Same. In an apathetic I-don’t-care-tone Wilson said “Well isn’t it obvious?” Next they came to the kitchen table. “My oatmeal is all over the floor and walls” said Same. “My oatmeal is frozen,” said Wilson. “My oatmeal isn’t here…O wait its in the microwave…Jeez the bowl’s melted all over the microwave,” said Patrick. Wilson assumed the position of being bipolar and got so mad that she chucked her frozen oatmeal at Patrick. Next they went into the living room. “Hey Wilson we found your pills!” said a sore Patrick with a lump on his head. “ but hey your restraints are gone!” shouted Same. “Where are my platforms?” sobbed Patrick. “Look at my chair….its destroyed!” hyperventilated Same. “And its not facing East anymore” said Wilson in a haha tone, who was still brooding and bitter about the ‘lost’ pills turning up. “NOOOOO” wailed Same. Patrick assumed the position of throwing pills at Same because of his missing platforms. They went upstairs and checked out Wilson’s room. Wilson was luckily having an Alzheimer’s moment and didn’t understand. “Whoa…who’s bed was that?” “The last thing I want is someone with Alzheimer’s and a bipolar disorder to snap at me again so….its Patrick’s” said Same. “Oh how terrible…I’m sorry for the loss of your…couch?” said Wilson. They then went into the basement. “What happened to my bed?!?!” shouted Patrick choking on the smoke. “I think it caught on fire”, said Same. Patrick glared at him. Then they saw two boots sticking out from

Same’s bed. Same assumed the position of chanting Muslamician chants…to curse the infidel. Suddenly a still smiling Cameron woke up. “Who are you?”, he demanded. “Me? I’m Same” “You again!!! I though I told you to stop bothering me!” “Umm this is my house!!” “O well…who are these people?” “I am Patrick Wolf” “Who is not a werewolf” added Wilson. “And you are…?” “Wilson Jones” “ “Oh well you don’t live here…but there is a certain “Christina” who has been trying to smite me all day” “Yeah you burglar that’s my middle name”. The full moon came out and Patrick changed. “PATRICK!!” cried Wilson, “you ARE a werewolf!!” Cameron still smiling was so scared that he ran out of the house. Angry that ONE moon changed ONE man into ONE werewolf. He was having a really bad day. Then he spotted Calliou in a nearby theater. He walked up to Calliou and said “Hi” Calliou said hi back. Cameron waited for 8 hi’s but they didn’t come. Cameron smacked him and he fell into oncoming traffic. A rickshaw crushed him. Cameron had to burry him. He dug 9 holes then filled 7, then buried Calliou…never to annoy anyone ever again.

THE END

Webster’s DictionaryPAO PAT

Patrick Wolf-(n)(Pataricke – wulef)Past

In his youth Patrick Wolf grew up in the red neck. His parents who are Patrick Wolf’s real parents are really Wilson Jones and Jimmy Choo reincarnated. They were strict people. Patrick hung out with the kool kids. He grew out his hair and rode a skateboard. His jealous parents yelled that he would never amount to anything and would be a disappointment. They got him a trailer and disowned him. He had no money so he had to wear garbage bags on his head and the Salvation Army booked him as a gig. He liked to “jam” with Plad who also “jammed” there one day. He didn’t make enough money jamming so he sold his kidney and was desperately looking for a modeling gig. This is the only gig he will ever get…he had to be a woman. He

moved to England’s trailer park and lost his Salvation Army tan. He also cut his hair for boat money. At Salvation Englad he found a unicycle. He made some money this way…but not much. He caught bacterial meningitis at his performance and will only live to be 60. He now

has to wear short-shorts to not overheat. He also has to wear platforms because the air is too heavy down here and to reach cooler air, so he doesn’t overheat and DIE!! He is also a germaphobic now, who refuses to get help. He covers his mouth to not catch “other’s” germs, especially eye germs from certain carrot filled with morphine addicts. He is also currently on

dialysis for his kidneys, which he lacks. Present

Patrick’s ankles snapped and he no longer wears platforms. He likes pink and blue. He is old. He tried of music for a while but only sold 3 CD’s to a

little girl in the USA, his best know song, Triston is also the least popular song. He is also a werewolf and kills his only fan…old people and roams around at night. It’s a secret.

FuturePatrick Wolf gets very sick and almost dies. The only way to save himself is to walk on stilts (higher platforms) to be colder and higher. The little girl who is the only one buying his CDs came to see him and after years of holding him hostage, and forcing his labor and CD dedications, he will return to England where, because of his height, he is now cousin Hip-Pip-Cheery-Oh, Jack. He is still a germaphobic but wears pants now, not short shorts.

Webster’s Dictionary

CAL CAN

Cameron “Quackylocks” Neisken-(n)(CaNroon – NeeeIchkeen)Past

Cameron was born on plante Earth. He is the son of one reincarnated Wilson Jones. He was a VERY bad and ugly child. Wilson hated him. He always attacked things. Wilson got bored of him after he broke into some agoraphobic’s (people who don’t leave the house) home. Cameron attacked the door and after the cops came and charged Wilson 500$ to repair it, she

abandoned him. He fended for himself, he made a Quaker oat box coat. Years later he met Plad and they formed a band. They called him Supa-Syze Double Cheese Bugraa wita Syde o Fryze…ft. Plad. For once he felt loved. He lost Plad as a friend because of his Myspace song and became OCD towards the number 9 and phobic of the number 1(0). His manager abandoned him after he broke into another Wilson Jones’ house and after killing Calliou who is now in a mental institution.

Present and FutureJail and believe me he wont get out on good behavior.

Webster’s Dictionary

SAB SAN

Same Sam the Muslamic-(n)(saym – samuh-tu-muwslaymik)Past

Same Sam the Muslamic was born so long ago that there are no color pictures. One day when he was 3, he was struck with blindness. He also became sort of deaf. His mother was calling for him to come to dinner. He thought she said she was a Sunnis and that he WAS dinner so he ran blindly. He ran through town and

found himself on the only bias bridge in the world. A man who was trying to help yelled “Don’t look down!” Same looked up and screamed at how high he up was. He eventually turned 7 and was off to work in a factory…making Muslamic rattles. When his company

tried to tell him they were moving to Ireland, he heard that the Sunnis were back, so he took his Muslamic stick and whacked everyone he could, kind of like a piñata. He got a pay cut for putting an Oreo poptart in the rattles. When he moved to Ireland, he got hooked on morphine-filled carrots and marijuana, which he carries in his pencil case. He couldn’t wear his robed anymore, to settle in he moved to a kilt…which he thinks it too revealing. He still squints and uses a cane cuz he thinks he’s a woman, what with the whole skirt thing. But its ok because its kind of sacred to him. A society who finds the “sick” found and took/kidnapped him and as he screamed for his wife, they diagnosed him with eye germs. He stayed for isolation in a greenhouse.

PresentHe smuggles in his morphine and marijuana today. He is still in isolation. He has grown curly hair…over his hat. He grows plants.

FutureHis exchange of CO and O with the plants has cured his eyes…sorta. He’s still kind of ‘different’. He finally will get his Muslamic pride parade, start a rickshaw business and live with Wilson Jones and Patrick Wolf. The shi’ites will win and he will be robbed by Jahova’s Witnesses on the last day of school <rama rama>. He will also fail his earth science test because he will displease Allah in some way. He also owes Noemie $10000, plus interest, not to mention he will get kicked by an alpaca and get lots of sand in his shoes.

Webster’s Dictionary

WAN WIP

Wilson Jones “Christina”-(n)(Wiylsoun-Jaownez)Past

Wilson Jones had no childhood. In 9th grade she made one to many friends. You see, she could only have 17 friends. When Double Cheese Burgaa wanted to be her friend, she was forced to delete him. She was making records with Double. He called her Plad. They met at the Salvation Army. They were supposed to sing at the post office but she blew him off. She hid in a coffee shop one day when she saw him. He had lost his only friend and went a little crazy. She begged him to go away but

he started chanting <RAMA RAMA>. Then her friend Patrick Wolf thought she was two-timing him with other singers. Pat-Pat and her had another shouting match in front of the store. Plad and her “entourage” were banned from the coffee shop after that. After she got banned, she was so ashamed that she refused to brush her hair and she shaved her long Gandelf beard. She kind of became a werewolf.

PresentShe became semi-normal by memorizing the pilates videos and remixing them. She became ‘big’ with her newest video “The super go-go ultra slow-mo do it backwards while you run, Magic Position.” People started hating her when they found he claims that she had the name BEFORE the unknown (still) Pat-Pat. As you can see…she has a nice tan and combed her hair. Her Gandelf beard still hasn’t grown back. The only job she could find was teaching her video to mentally retarded children.

Unfortunately after a year, a child thought her name was Richard Simmons. All the other children said, “Hey aren’t you Richard Simmons?” and “Hey yeah I recognize you!” She became very depressed. She is now obsessed with being remembered and has to be in everyone’s pictures (even other people’s family photos). She also kidnapped Patrick Wolf and Same. They are her slaves now.

FutureShe will lose her hand from and old angry photographer. She will marry Rick Fatpowl because if you mix up the letters it spells Patrick Wolf. He has to dye his hair every month and wear short-shorts. Unlike the real Pat-Pat, he can’t be a werewolf because its not cool.

FAMILY PHOTO ALBUMCalliou

This is Calliou when je moved out, being stalked by a dog

This is Calliou expressing his anger at school on picture day when his picture

came out all funny

This is when he went into hiding from PBS, as you can tell he is wearing a wig.

This is his first real job. He eventually becomes Chinese.

This is his baby, Jimmy, and he is wondering where his daddy is. He is often

misplaced

This is him (Calliou) in his old age (35) and he just ate a lemon.

This is in June when calliou got pregnant

The kids are amazed at his belly when he went to Africa, the kids are trying to feel his Buddha belly

.

FAMILY PHOTO ALBUMSame Sam the Muslamic

When he still lived in Muslamicia

He examines the native species and is fascinated by its graceful movements.

He gives up and sails back to Muslamicia. He gets blown off course and upon arrival he says “well I don’t remember this neighborhood.” He really was in Alaska.

He hopes the British wont bomb him if he writes ‘civilian’ on his house

When he moved to Ireland to make rattles and him trying to assimilate

His first job as an electricity man lying out wires.

He sees his first car and proclaims it Allah. He worships it 5 times a day.

He didn’t fit in in Alaska so he relocated to little Chinatown, since there is only a little difference. Then he participates in their ceremonies.

He is invited to a party and attempts once again to blend in

Hw begins working on a farm

He got in an accidenet and now he is a little more…special

Then he had another accident and has one..special leg and an

afro

FAMILY PHOTO ALBUMWilson “Plad” Jones

FAMILY PHOTO ALBUMPatrick “who-is-not-a-werewolf-but-who-in-reality-is-a-were” Wolf

He cant afford a bed so he sleeps in a wheel barrow.

Wilson found a new job at the museum

After she got tired and moved above ground, shaving her Gandelf beard. She likes tying knots in stuff.

She moved underground in her gandelf beard and sandles, living like a hermit, reading books all day

.

She grew up Chinese and a little more special then the rest of us.

He also had an unfortunate accident. He is a little trouble with balance and coordination.

Patrick was born a cute little Chinese kid.

FAMILY PHOTO ALBUMPatrick Wolf and Wilson Jones

After he left she met a man named double cheese burgaa and they formed a band, following the Patrick Wolf tour bus. Cheese got depressed and called themselves blue grass hobos and they sold bumper stickers even still today.

She found him at an after party and at midnight she danced with the wolf. She also gave him the idea for Childcatcher

She went to a concert and met Patrick Wolf. She liked his robot

dance.