Parenting = Leadership …or how being a mom has made me a better professional

(and vice versa)

Katy Weidenfeller SWE National Conference

October 2013

Parenting = Leadership

“Because I’m a mom I know how to multitask, and I have all these other skills I didn’t have before like juggling, mentoring, educating, problem-solving, managing,” she said. “And I’m so much more productive now during the hours when I am working. Motherhood should be a feather in my cap, not a drawback.”

- Sara Uttech, quoted in “Coveting Not a Corner Office, but Time at Home” by Catherine Rampell in the New York Times, July 7, 2013

Prepare People for Change

PARENTING: It’s time to leave the playground in 5 minutes. WORK: Communicate what is going to happen before it happens, while it is happening, after it has happened…

Patiently Answer Questions

PARENTING : “Why?” “Why?” “Why?” WORK: People work harder and smarter when they know what is going on and why.

Seek and Be a Role Model

PARENTING: Swear words do get repeated! WORK: Lead by example. Be a positive influence in word and deed. Find inspirational role models.

Don’t Forget Quiet Time

PARENTING: Time for your nap!

WORK: Creativity and new ideas need a relaxed and open mind. Some problems solve themselves after a good rest.

Embrace Change

PARENTING: Everything is a “phase.” WORK: Change is certain. Make sure you are preparing your organization to move in the right direction.

Ruthlessly Prioritize

PARENTING: You don’t want to be the first one to drop off and the last one to pick up at day care. WORK: You can’t ever get everything done. Embrace this! Then make sure the top of the list gets done every week.

Sleep is for the Weak

PARENTING: “Sleeping through the night” feels like some kind of magical, mythical idea. WORK: Jet lag? What’s that??

Build your Network

PARENTING: Where did you get that baby carrier? How do you manage child care? WORK: What should I do really well to nail this job? How do I get the job I really want?

Delegate and Empower

PARENTING: Avoid the helicopter! WORK: Don’t micro-manage!

You Can’t Fight a Tantrum

PARENTING: Screaming “STOP CRYING!!!!” never works. WORK: Remain calm in the face of emotion; acknowledge concerns, probe issues, wait for another time.

Be Where You Are

PARENTING: There is almost nothing better than a hug around the knees at the end of the day. WORK: Tell your kids why you like to go to work every day, and then go do that really well.

Parenting = Leadership …or how being a mom has made me a better professional

(and vice versa)

Katy Weidenfeller SWE National Conference

October 2013

Useful References • Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine • Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandburg • Coveting not the corner office, but time at home

– “Because I’m a mom I know how to multitask, and I have all these other skills I didn’t have before like juggling, mentoring, educating, problem-solving, managing,” she said. “And I’m so much more productive now during the hours when I am working. Motherhood should be a feather in my cap, not a drawback.”

• Sell your kid for $100M? – Do most of us really act as if each of our kids are worth $100 million to

us? – It takes nine months and change to create a kid. It takes a lifetime, if

you're lucky, to earn even a small fraction of $100 million. – Why don't we spend more time working on how we can be better

parents and not just better employees and managers? – The best present you can give your kids is your presence. Your full and

undivided presence.