Positive Guidance and

Discipline Strategies

By: Angelie Grace R. Gante

Learning how to use these strategies makes it possible for you to meet the needs of individual children. You will be able to choose the most effective strategy in a variety of discipline encounters.

Positive discipline strategies begin with adult behaviors:

good limit settingclearly communicating limitsTeaching more appropriate behavior giving cues for the new behaviorgiving choices, and supporting children in

their new behavior. ignoring behavior when it is appropriate

to do so.

“Helping children save face and preserve their

dignity in discipline encounters is the

mostimportant and

essential element in child guidance.”

Strategy includes:Developing reasonable limits that focus on important thingsStating limits effectivelyHelping children accept limitsCommunicating limits to others and reviewing limits periodically

Develop Reasonable Limits That Focus on Important Things

• Adults influence children by stating their expectations for desired behavior and helping children understand that there are boundaries, or limits, on behavior. Authoritative caregivers understand the importance of proper boundaries in relationships in general, and appropriate limits in an adult-child relationship in particular. They figure out and clearly communicate limits that will be most helpful in encouraging children to behave appropriately. They understand what a good limit is and what benefits appropriate limits have for children

Highly responsive, authoritative adults set and maintain reasonable, fair, developmentally appropriate limits. Their limits focus on important, not trivial, things. The limits protect children’s and adults’ health and safety and encourage the development of healthy self-control. Their limits also transmit values of dignified, fair, humane treatment of people and animals to children.

Healthy self-control through limitsSelf-control develops slowly in children. Reasonable, fair limits can help children achieve internal control gradually

because limits clearly communicate appropriate behavior and reasons for that behavior.Rules protecting physical health

hand washing Proper handling of food. Washing and sanitizing toys and other equipment. Labeling and storing toothbrushes properly. Using tissues when sneezing. Proper toileting and diapering routines, including approved

cleanup.

Rules protecting everyone’s safety Appropriate limits ensure safety. Think about safety on different

levels.

Respectful treatment of others with limits Responsible adults set and maintain limits about fair treatment

of everyone in a class. Children have to learn what respectful treatment means; they learn this best from the words and actions of adults. It also means clearly stating the behaviors that we will not tolerate

State Limits Effectively

Authoritative caregivers have a clear, direct, and validating communication style. If a goal in guiding children is to help children, we can best help them understand necessary limits by stating these limits effectively.

Speak naturally, but speak slowly enough that the child hears everything you say; use concrete words and short sentences when stating limitsTell a child exactly what to do rather than what not to do, and be as positive as possibleUse suggestions whenever possibleUse direct, self-responsible statements when you think it is necessary to make a reasonable requestGive choices whenever possibleAvoid giving a choice when the child really has no choice

Issue only a few suggestions at a time; avoid giving a chain of limitsAllow enough time for the child to process information and complete a task before issuing another suggestion repeat a limit if necessary, but do it effectively

o manage your emotions well and repeat the limit calmly and with good will.o call the child’s name again.o pick up the item, and matter-of-factly hand the item to the child.o repeat the request.o avoid simply restating the limit in a snappish, peeved way because your

irritation will show and will likelyo bring out anger and stubbornness from the child; then you will have a full-

blown argument on your hands.

Help Children Accept Limits

Authoritative caregivers and teachers help children willingly accept good limits. They do several things to set the stage so that children will accept legitimate boundaries on behavior. Here are some practical ways to get you started on helping children willingly accept limits.

Tune in to the situationo Observe what the child is doing before stating a limit.o Be responsive and take into account what a child is doing

because her activity is important to her.o Give children a reasonable amount of time to complete their

work.o Consider cleanup in a classroom.o Decrease distance between you and a child.o Get a child’s attention, politely.o Touch a child on the arm or say her name quietly. Using

nonthreatening verbal or nonverbal cues and appropriate physical contact

o appropriate physical contact: reassures a child, and is given in response to the child’s

needs.

Help children focus on the task at hand and give cues Direct a child’s visual attention to a specific object or task. Have the child make contact with a specific object. Make your specific request. A child is much more likely to

comply with your request when you have properly oriented herGive reasons for rules and limits

Children accept limits much more readily when they understand the rationale behind them.

Three practical suggestions will help you use reasons well: give short, simple, concrete reasons, decide when to

state the limit, and decide whether you need to restate the limit.

Communicate Limits to Others; Review Limits Periodically

Communicate classroom limits to every person who works in your classroomCommunicate information on limits to parentsTeach Helpful or Appropriate Behavior

How to ask for something How to listen when others talk, not interrupting them How to join a play or work group How to put things away when they complete a project Skills for participating in a group, such as where and how to sit, how to

listen, how to offer an idea, and how to get the teacher’s attention Mealtime manners, such as passing things and waiting their turn

Give Signals or Cues for Appropriate BehaviorEncourage Children’s Efforts to Accept Limits and to Be Cooperative or HelpfulPromote new behavior that is “self encouraging”Observe children to determine whether they have learned what they need to learn and whether they have accepted a limitRecognize and encourage a child’s efforts

Ignore Behavior (Only When It Is Appropriate to Do So)

The ignore strategy is appropriate for some behaviors but completely inappropriate for others.

Do Not Ignore These Behaviors Do not ignore children when they treat someone rudely,

embarrass someone, are intrusive, are disrespectful, or cause an undue disturbance. Young children do some of these things because they might not yet know a better way of behaving, and some older children may act this way because they have not learned to treat others with respect. With younger children, state guidelines and teach the better way. Avoid ignoring inappropriate behavior. Older children must learn from adults to value politeness, to respect boundaries, and to adhere to limits that convey these values

It is safe to ignore some behaviors, usually behaviors that are not hurtful, not destructive, not disrespectful, and not dangerous. In fact, it is a good idea to ignore behaviors such as

whining or arguing about limits. any other effort to distract you from following through on a

limit. efforts to pull you into an argument. a child’s efforts to try to make you angry

Guidelines For Using the Ignore Strategy

Tell the child that you will ignore a specific, targeted behavior whenever it occurs.

Realize that it takes time to effectively use the ignore strategy.

Decide to ignore the behavior completely, to give no attention.

Redirect Children’s Behavior—Divert and Distract the Youngest Children

Diverting and distracting the youngest children accomplishes both of these tasks. An adult can be most helpful by immediately doing something to distract the child from the forbidden activity and steering her toward a different activity.

Redirect Children’s Behavior—Make Substitutions with Older Children

Substitution: a form of redirection; an adult shows a child how to perform an activity or type of activity in a more acceptable and perhaps safer way. Substitution is an excellent strategy to use with children who are at least older toddlers or young preschoolers. Substitution is a good strategy to use with older children because it acknowledges the child’s desire to plan and engage in a specific activity.