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Introduction They are all around us; we see them everyday, and we spoke to some of them today. They are also the people we ignore, the ones we look down on, the people we bully, the ones whose hearts we break; the people we disrespect. They are the mask wearers and till we understand them (and/or ourselves,) this deadly plague of hatred that's enveloping our planet, is only going to keep transforming us into hate-filled creatures in pursuit of illusions of love: illusions that leave us empty.
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The Mask Wearers
Delasi K Anyah
The Mask Wearers
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Introduction
They are all around us; we see them everyday, and we spoke to some
of them today. They are also the people we ignore, the ones we look
down on, the people we bully, the ones whose hearts we break; the
people we disrespect. They are the mask wearers, and till we
understand them and/or ourselves, this deadly plague of hatred that' s
enveloping our planet, is only going to keep transforming us into hate-
filled creatures in pursuit of illusions of love: illusions that leave us
empty.
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It' s funny how one word can get us into so much trouble.
One word: love. Without it, we do the dumbest things to find it.
Let' s hear what the ladies man has to say...
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The "Ladies man" mask
I wear this mask whenever I am around my friends. Whenever I have
it on, I am perceived as the epitome of a ladies man (you know, the
guy who has got all the girls, the biggest threat to many guys, the
girlfriend snatcher.. .Yep that guy.)
When I take it off however, I am just me—a normal guy looking for
real love and struggling with a tall glass of addictions. I obviously can't
say this when I am around the boys so like you, I take it off only
when no one is around.
I am a man, and being a man I am not allowed to whine about or cry
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over my problems. I'm told that' s what the soft guys do—wimps.
The man you saw last week at the local bar, sitting all alone behind
eight empty bottles, was the real me—I had taken my mask off. That' s
what I do to drown my pain besides wearing my mask and acting like I
enjoy falling into temptation.
As you can tell, I am a man, and like you, I have feelings. I also have a
couple of regrets; like you, I keep asking myself why I keep falling and
committing the same old sins; like you, I wish I had the power to
control myself. Like you, I wish I didn't have to lie about how I truly
felt sometimes, or to drown my pain by doing the same old things that
always leave me hurt and empty. Like you I wish I could erase all the
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pain from my life. Like you, I find it hard to tell people the truth...no
one besides the man I see in the mirror, knows who I am and how I
truly feel.
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It' s sad to say, many guys wear the "ladies man" mask. They wear it
because they want to be accepted by others guys: to be the alpha male
amongst their pack of friends, or wherever they find themselves. We
see them everyday, but nobody knows what goes on behind the scenes.
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Behind the scenes
Nobody knows what goes on behind the scenes. Nobody hears the
shouting, nobody hears you screaming, nobody knows your pillow
was soaked with tears last night, nobody knows what goes on behind
the scenes. All they see is the side of you that says I am rich, happy
and without problems. They don't know you, or how you feel every
day. They don't know about your pain and the things you go through.
You are not even sure if anybody cares about you, but the truth is
people do, and God does. But nobody can help you unless you are
willing to take your mask off, never to put it on again...
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How did I get here?
"How did I get here?" Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Like a person driving on a road to nowhere, we, at some point in our
lives, ask ourselves this perturbing question. For years I got what
seemed like an answer: an answer that only reminded me of how
gullible I was as a teen.
For years I thought I started watching porn because a friend said it was
all a part of life. But I was wrong. It took a lot of hate-filled
experiences to turn me into the addict I became.
Only the people who feel like the biggest losers, do things that leave
them empty in the hope of gaining acceptance from other people.
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They feel like losers because others made them feel like the ugly
duckling. Harsh words and devilish quotes transformed me. My only
way of escape—I thought, was to become someone I was not: to
indulge in pleasures that made me feel dirty every time I came back to
my senses. I wore a mask that made some people perceive me as a porn
trafficker and lover, a mask that said I could have any girl I wanted, a
mask I couldn't take off in public because I was paranoid about
receiving the same harsh words that transformed me: harsh words like
"you are a dull boy."
With an aching heart and a made up mind, I threw my mask off and
went on a journey to find real love and freedom. I was tired of
pretending I loved doing the things that destroyed me. I was tired of
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looking at hot girls and acting like I wanted to get laid, while in actual
sense I wished I had the power to resist the temptation and the sensual
thoughts that evaded my mind.
My wish turned into a reality when I met Jesus. I never thought I
could be myself: to be free and accepted by a force greater that any
form of hatred. I took my mask off not because I wanted to be some
Christian boy. No! I took my mask off because like many people, I
was tired of being a slave to the devil.
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Mask Wearers
We wear masks to look different; to be accepted by people who wear
prettier masks. On the outside we look pretty, but on the inside, our
ugliness totally contrasts our external illusional beauty.
We find it hard to take off our masks because, we are paranoid about
losing our acceptance amongst other “mask wearers.”
Deep within, we yearn to talk to someone who will love the real us
unconditionally. Someone who would appreciate us for who we really
are. We are the “mask wearers” and we yearn to be loved.
The End