Allah SWT in all his wisdom has placed extra protection for women in Islam by giving the men in her life special duties and roles to fulfil: The Mahr – which needs to be paid by her

husband to her

The Mahram – who cannot marry her and therefore acts as her protector during travel and in life

The Wali – her guardian who is charged with ensuring her marriage to the most suitable spouse

What is the mahr?

The dowry given to the wife by her husband

It is her right ordained by Allah:And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.” [Quran 4: 4]

It is a token of honour and respect for the wife and demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage contract

It is given in exchange for the right to enjoy marital relations

Is giving the mahr obligatory?

Husband must give mahr, especially if stipulated in marriage contract:

“You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably” (4:4)

However if the wife withholds his rights to intimacy –she will lose the right of the mahr

Also, if the wife chooses to forgo any part of the mahr, the husband is permitted to take it, as Allah SWT says:

“… but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has made it lawful).” (al-Nisaa’ 4:4)

Is the mahr a part of the marriage contract?

Although the mahr is obligatory on the husband and is a right of the wife, it does not actually form part of the marriage contract unless stated otherwise.

This is based on the following:

"There is no sin upon you if you divorce women before touching them or assigning for them a dowry…”(Quran 2:236)

This means the marriage contract will still be valid without a mahr being mentioned – however it is preferred to mention and agree upon the mahr at the time of the nikah to avoid dispute

Can the mahr be taken back?

The husband cannot take back the mahr he gave to his wife, even if he wishes to divorce her:

And how could you take it (back) when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” (al-Nisaa’ 4:21)

The mahr is the right of the wife alone, and it is not permitted for her father or anyone else to take it except with her approval.

Abu Saalih said:

“When a man married off his daughter, he would take her mahr away from her, but Allah forbade them to do that, and gave women the right to the mahr they received.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer).

What counts as mahr? What can be given?

There is no minimum/maximum amount of mahr that is specifically mentioned in Qur’an/Sunnah

It does not have to be limited to money - according to Ibn Al-Qayyim, the strongest opinion is that anything which has value (regardless of whether it be something material or something non-material) can be accepted as mahr

The Prophet SAW accepted a man teaching his wife the Qur’an as mahr:

"Go, for I have put her under your charge with what you have of the Qur'an. " [Bukhari & Muslim]

Look at what is given to other women at the time (what is culturally acceptable or befitting of what the family can give)

What is a mahram?

A person who is forbidden to you for marriage and therefore acts as a guardian and protector

The person can be a mahram due to: Blood relations

In-law relations

Suckling relations

Step - relations

Who are your mahrams?

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster sisters, your wives’ mothers, your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives into whom you have gone – but there is no sin on you if you have not gone into them (to marry their daughters) - the wives of your sons (who spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed. Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (An-Nisa 4:23)

Temporary and permanent mahrams

A mahram can either be temporary or permanent.

All types of mahrams are permanent with the exception of your spouse.

When a woman becomes divorced her ex-husband becomes her non-mahram (ghayr) and therefore must be treated like all her non-mahram relations.

However her father-in-law will always be her mahram even though she is divorced from his son

Non-biological mahrams

Refers to step father, step daughter, adopted children, adoptive parents etc.

Step mother – once she is married to your father your step mother becomes permanently forbidden to you for marriage and you become her mahram.

Step daughter – You become a mahram for your step daughter after the marriage contract and consummation of the marriage to your wife has taken place.

Adoption and Mahrams

A complicated matter – child needs to be breastfed by the adoptive mother for relationship to become lawful.

If child hasn’t been suckled – as if they were non-mahramsto you/you are non-mahram to them.

Adoptive mother needs to suckle the child at least 5 times. They should be suckled in their first 2 years.

The Prophet said:

Suckling forbids (from marriage) that which is forbidden due to birth.” [Al Bukhari 9/140]

Once this has been established the adopted son becomes the mahram for any other relation that a biological son would have:

The same rules apply if you adopt a girl.

What age does one become a mahram?

Although many people think the mahram needs to be an adult, the majority of scholars are of the view that if the mahram is a boy who has reached the age of discernment and is close to puberty, and the woman feels safe when he is with her, then that is sufficient – the boy who is close to the age of puberty comes under the same ruling as an adult.

However the best mahram for a woman when travelling is her husband or father as they will be able to protect her properly.

What is a wali?

Wali means guardian, protector and custodian

A Wali of a woman is a male guardian who is responsible for assessing the marriage proposal and decides in the best interest of the woman.

Wali’s are firstly blood mahrams. A woman’s main wali is usually her father first.

A marriage without the consent of a wali is not valid – this is for the protection of the woman

There is no marriage without a walī. (Al-Tirmidhī, 4/226)

Who needs a wali?

Women who have never been married and are virgin need their wali’s permission to get married

Divorced women who had previous marital relations do not need the permission of their wali, however the wali still needs to be part of the marriage contract

Men do not need a wali, but they need to ask the wali of a woman they are interested in marrying for their permission

Who can be a wali?

For a man to count as a wali he needs to have the following: Religion (and be practising)

Fairness and Maturity

Puberty

Faculty of sense

He also needs to fulfill his duties of a wali by: Finding the best and most righteous spouse for her

Accepting the proposal of someone that has good religion and manners

Not refuse her wish to get married if the person is suitable

What about revert sisters or those who do not have a wali?

A wali MUST be a Muslim, therefore sisters who are reverts cannot use their fathers as their wali unless they are a Muslim

Instead, sisters should appoint the local Imam/Sheikh to be their Wali

Sisters who do not have a wali (e.g. orphans or no male family) will also need to appoint the local Imam or Sheikh to become their Wali

The same rules apply – your marriage is invalid without a wali, and not having a wali is not an excuse to be married without one!

Again the only concession is that of divorced women but remember the wali must be present at the time of nikkah

What if a wali does not fulfil his duties as a wali?

Sheikh Muhammad b.`Uthaymîn said the following:

“If a woman's guardian prevents her from marrying a suitable partner of good religion and character, then her guardianship is transferred to the next in line for guardianship among her relatives. If all of her guardians –in succession – refuse, as is usually the case in these matters, then guardianship transfers to the Islamic judge who will facilitate the woman's marriage. It is the duty of the judge to get the woman married once the matter comes before him and he knows of her guardians' refusal. This is because the judge has general jurisdiction over the matter once the specific jurisdiction of her blood relatives is annulled.”

What if a wali does not fulfil his duties as a wali?

The jurists mention that if the wali repeatedly refuses a woman's qualified suitors, his character is deemed sinful and this disqualifies his guardianship. In fact, many scholars are of the opinion that the right of such a man to lead others in prayer is nullified!

Some people whom Allah has entrusted with guardianship refuse to allow the women under their care to marry qualified suitors. The problem is compounded by the fact that many young women are too shy or scared to say anything or to approach the Shariah courts.

Allah has placed multiple forms of protection for the women in Islam

The mahr is a very important part of the marriage contract and cannot be disregarded as it is the woman’s right

Her protectors and guardians have a very serious responsibility to uphold and should not take this lightly

Mahrams and Walis should not abuse their rights over the women under their care as there are severe consequences to this.

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