+

LISTENING SKILLS

+LISTENING

Arguably the most important communication skill.

Listening is the ability to receive accurately and interpret messages in the communication process.

Listening is key to all effective communication.

Without the ability to listen effectively, messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.

+LISTENING

We probably spend more time using our listening skills than other skills.

Like other skills, listening takes practice.

Real listening is an active process.

Listening requires attention.

+LISTENING

Listening is so important that many top employers provide listening skills training for their employees. Better customer satisfaction Greater productivity with fewer mistakes Increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to

more creative and innovative work.

+LISTENING

Good listening skills also have benefits in our personal lives:

A greater number of friends and social networks

Improved self-esteem and confidence

Higher grades at school and in academic work

Better health and general well-being

*Speaking raises blood pressure; listening brings it down.

+Listening is not the same as Hearing

Hearing refers to the sounds you hear.

Listening is hearing but with focus.

Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body.

Being aware of verbal and non-verbal messages.

Your ability to listen effectively depends on the degree to which you perceive and understand these messages.

+We spend a lot of time listening

Adults: 70% of their time spent in communication

70% communication breakdown: 45% listening 30% speaking 16% reading 9% writing (Adler et al, 2001)

+We spend a lot of time listening

+EFFECTIVE LISTENING

Effective listening is the process of analysing sounds, organising them into recognisable patterns, interpreting the patterns, and understanding the message by inferring the meaning.

Effective listening requires concentration and the use of your other senses – not just hearing the words spoken.

Listening is more than just the use of ears.

+Listening comes first

The first communication we learn in our lives is listening.

LISTENING

SPEAKING

READING

WRITING

+Basic communication skills profile

+

10 Principles of Listening

+1. Stop talking

Don’t talk; listen.

+2. Prepare yourself to listen

Relax.

+3. Put the speaker at ease

Help the speaker feel free to speak.

+4. Remove distractions

Focus on what is being said.

+5. Empathise

Try to understand the other person’s point of view.

+6. Be patient

A pause, even a long pause, does not necessarily mean that the speaker has finished.

+7. Avoid personal prejudice

Try to be impartial.

+8. Listen to the tone

Volume and tone both add to what someone is saying.

+9. Listen for ideas – not just words

You need to get the whole picture, not just isolated bits and pieces.

+10. Wait and watch for non-verbal communication

Gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements can all be important.

+Tip:

Do not jump to conclusions about what you see and hear. You should always seek clarification to ensure that your understanding is correct.

+

Types of Listening

+1. Appreciative listening

Listening for enjoyment.

Examples:

Listening to music

Listening to comedic jokes

Listening to radio drama

+2. Discriminative listening

Developed at an early age.

This is the basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced.

Learning to distinguish differences

Language, sounds, voices, tones, accents, etc.

+3. Comprehensive learning

Involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated.

The listener must have appropriate vocabulary and language skills.

Comprehensive listening is further complicated by the fact that two different people listening to the same thing may understand the message in different ways.

Influenced by non-verbal communication (tones, body language, gestures) and experiences and perspectives.

+4. Empathetic listening

Empathetic listening involves attempting to understand the feelings and emotions of the speaker – to put yourself on the speaker’s shoes and share their thoughts.

Empathy is a way of deeply connecting with another person. It is a sharing of emotions.

+5. Critical listening

Evaluating and scrutinising what one has said.

Involves problem-solving and decision-making.

Engaging of and analysis of information.

What is the speaker trying to say? What are the main arguments being presented? How are they different from my current views and beliefs and knowledge?

+Active Listening

Fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker.

Listening with all the senses.

+Signs of active listening

Non-verbal signs:

Smile

Eye contact

Posture

Mirroring

Distraction

+Signs of active listening

Verbal signs:

Positive reinforcement (“very good”, “yes, indeed”, etc.)

Remembering

Questioning

Reflection

Clarification

Summarisation

+Tip

If you’re finding it difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them – this will reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

+

Steps in Listening

+1. Hearing

Perception of sound waves

+2. Attending

Selective perception

+3. Understanding

To understand symbols seen and heard

Analysing the meaning of the stimuli perceived

Example: Meaning of associated symbols such as applause

+4. Remembering

Important to the listening process because not only is the information received and interpreted a message but also is retained in the person’s memory

+5. Evaluating

The stage where active listeners participate

Weighing evidence, differentiates fact from opinion, determines the presence and absence of bias or prejudice in a message

+6. Responding

Verbal or non-verbal feedback

+

Listening Techniques

+1. Stay present

Mentally present; not just physically present

+2. Make eye contact

Eye contact is indicative of interest

However consider if the speaker is socially anxious or shy; then do not be aggressive with eye contact.

+3. Ask questions for clarification

Get clear about what is being said.

Do not mistake this to be the responding stage, however.

Ask questions in a non-charged manner.

+4. Acknowledge feelings

Even if you don’t agree to the feelings of the speaker, acknowledge it.

+5. Restate or paraphrase

For better recall and easier to understand and retain the information

+6. Seek first to understand and then to be understood

Before you state your thoughts and ideas make sure you totally understand and acknowledge the speaker’s thoughts.

+7. Give non-verbal feedback

Smile, nod, frown, shrug, raise eyebrows, etc.

+8. Be silent

+9. Take in all the information both verbal and non-verbal

Focus on the meaning of what is being said and also what is not being said.

+10. Get permission

Sometimes people just want to be heard. At other times they are seeking advice. Give advice only when requested and only after the person has had a chance to give you the whole story. If you are not sure, ask if the person is looking for your input.

+References

Smileyriaz. Listening Skills. http://www.slideshare.net/smileyriaz/listening-skills-11545165?next_slideshow=1

Listening Skills. http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html

Types of Listening. http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-types.html

Active Listening. http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm