Life & Success- Missing links

Dr.Vijay Sardana MD,DM

Head,Deptt. Of Neurology,Member Medical Education Unit

Medical College, Kota

Birth

Genetic endowment inherited from both parents environmental factor

Personality traits Physical Characteristics

Death

Responsive, creative & Independent adult

Ideal Citizen

One’s responsibility to

• Self

• Family

• Work

• Society

• Environment

Life – wheel with 6 spokes

• Family

•Financial - Career & Money

•Physical - Health

•Mental - Knowledge & Wisdom

• Social - social responsibilities

•Spiritual - Value system represents ethics &character

All the spokes have to be in alignment

Success

• Wealth• Recognition• Good health• Good family• Happiness• Satisfaction• Peace of mind

“Progressive realization of a Worthy goal” -Earl Nightingale

Those who fail

Most people fail not because of lack of ability or intelligence but because of lack of desire, direction, Dedication & discipline.

- Shiv Khera

Demotivating Factors

• Unfair criticism• Negative Criticism• Public Humiliation • Rewarding non performer• Low self esteem• Responsibility without Authority• Poor organization• Misalignment with job

Personality

• ‘Brand image of an individual’

• Made up of - Character - Behavioral trait - Attitude

Character

Revealed by

• Company we keep

• How we treat others especially subordinate, elderly & disabled.

• Choice of books, music & movies.

• Types of jokes we tell & laugh at.

Parental bonds

Mother – nurturesFather – Protector , provides direction & religion

Conditioning

• Book we read • Movies & Music we wanted to listen• Company we keep

Why People fail

• Lack of well defined purpose• Lack of ambition to achieve above mediocrity• Insufficient Education• Lack of self discipline• Lack of persistence- good start but poor finish• control an urge for sex• Wrong selection of mate in marriage• Wrong selection of associate in business• Superstitions & prejudice• Lack of enthusiasm• Individualism

Motivation

Motivation – Drive that encourage action or feeling. Process of inducing and improving anyone to perform more productively and efficiently.

Catalyst

Motivated person

• Look for the better way to do a job

• More Quality Oriented

• More Productive

Motivation

“ One machine can do the work of 50 0rdinary men. No machine can do the work of one motivated man”

Motivational needs of different people

• Money

• Emotion

• Security

• Recognition

Motivational Factors

• 1 Year - Toy• 5 Year - Chocolate• 12 Years - New cricket Bat• 15 Years - New Cycle• 20 Years - Education, Job, Lovely Girl Friend• 30 Years - Stability, Career & Personal Growth• 50 Years - Respect & Recognition• >50Years - Son’s Career

MOTIVATION

• External – Fear motivation Incentive motivation

• Internal - Comes from within- Pride, sense of achievement & fulfillment, belief & responsibility.

Fear Motivation

• Advantage - Job done quickly - Short term improvement in performance

• Disadvantage - Temporary – lasts till motivational factor is there. - Performance is limited to compliance. - Destroy creativity. - Causes stress.

Theories of Motivation

• Mosley's theory – Hierarchy of Motivational Need - Physical Need – Food, clothing, sexual urge

- Safety - Shelter, security, Health

- Social - Friends, family, love

- Self Esteem - Recognition, Achievement - Self Actualization

Theories of Motivation

Herzberg's Theory

- Hygiene - Status, job security, salary & future security

- Motivators – Challenging work, recognition, responsibility

Money can buy….

• Amusement, but not happiness

• A Bed, but not sleep

• Books, but not wisdom

• Companions, but not friends

• House, but not a home

• Medicines, but not health

Set a goal

Goal Setting Why many don’t do it

• Pessimistic attitude

•Procrastination

• Fear of Failure

• Fear of Rejection

• Lack of ambition

•Low self esteem

•Lack of knowledge/ignorance of goal setting

Goal

S - Specific

M - Measurable

A - Achievable

R - Realistic

T - Time Bound

Self Goal Setting

Evaluate for

• Is it the truth?

• Fair for all concerned

• Get me goodwill

• Get me health, wealth & peace of mind

• Can I commit myself to it ?

Have positive attitude

Attitude

• Way a person feels, thinks & behaves towards a particular issue.

- half full-hall empty

12__suraj_ki_garmi_se.mp3

Positive Attitude - Benefits

• Pleasing personality

• Energizing

• Inspiring

• Problem Solving

• Increase work output

Attitude

Job/promotion/success

- 85% Attitude - 15 % Intelligence & knowledge of specific facts $ figures

• Education - Almost 100% teach facts & figure

12__suraj_ki_garmi_se.mp3

Elements of success

Attitude

SkillKnowledge

Attitude formation

Home- positive or negative influencesSchool- peer pressureCultural backgroundReligious backgroundMedia- TV etc.Work environmentSocial and political environment

Attitude : Be Optimistic

• Be so strong – nothing can disturb your peace of mind

• Talk health, happiness & prosperity to everybody

• Look at sunny side of everything

• Think best, work for best & expect best

• Spend so much time improving yourself that no time left to criticize others

• Be equally enthusiastic about other success

Positive Mindset

• Look for Positive in every person.

• Develop an immunity to negative criticism.

• Learn to find pleasure in every little things.

• Set your own standards judiciously.

• Remember ups & down are part of life.

• Keep yourself continuously occupied.

• Help less fortunate

• forgive yourself & others.

Maintain and raise your self esteem

Self esteem- way we feel about ourselves

Excellence has always been achieved by those who dare to believe that something inside

them is superior to circumstances

Self Esteem

High Self Esteem Low Self esteem

. Talk about ideas . Talk about people

. Respect authority . Rebels against authority

. Concern about character . Concern about reputation

. Accepts Responsibility . Blame the whole world

. Discuss . Argue

World, my son starts school today

World, take my child by the hand--he starts school today!It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently. You see, up to now, he has been king of the roost. He has been the boss of the backyard. I have always been around to repair his wounds, and I have always been handy to soothe his feelings.

But now things are going to be different. This morning he is going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand, and start on a great adventure that probably will include wars and tragedy and sorrow.To live in this world will require faith and love and courage. So, World, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know. Teach him-but gently, if you can. contnd…

World, my son starts school today

He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just that all men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel, there is a hero; that for every enemy, there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick. Teach him the wonder of books. Give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill.

Teach him that it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong.Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is getting on the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to others, but to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and to take only the good that comes through. condt…..

World, my son starts school today

Teach him never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears on the howling mob-and to stand and fight if he thinks he is right.

Teach him gently, World, but do not coddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

This is a big order, World, but see what you can do. He is such a nice son.

- Signed, Abraham Lincoln*adapted from "Pulpit Helps" February 1991, quoted in Apple Seeds, Volume 10, No.1,1994.

Be Enthusiastic

Enthusiasm

• Inspire Confidence• Raises morale• Build loyalty• Contagious

“ Live while you are alive, Don’t die before you are dead.”

Except 100% Responsibility

Society

Know Rights/Privileges more then Responsibility/Obligation?

Responsibilities

• Take 100% responsibility of whatever you do

• Take additional responsibility

Take Responsibility

• Accepting responsibility-Involve taking risk & being accountable

• Taking calculative responsible risk depends on knowledge, Training, Careful study, Confidence & compliance.

Identify & avoid Negative People

Influence of Friends

Our friends are not what we want but kind of people what we are

• Man is recognized by his friends

• AVOID Negative friends

How value system change

Intolerable

Acceptable

Involvement

Constant Exposure

Constant Exposure

Self justification

‘Frenemies’

Avoid negative people

•You become similar to people associated with you

• When you Succeed negative people or petty people will try to pull you down- DON’T FIGHT

• Character - Company you keep - Company you avoid.

Positive

• Part of the answer

• Has Programme

• Let me do it for you

• Difficult but possible

• I must do something

• See the gain

• See possibilities.

• Hard arguments, Soft words

Negative

• Part of the problem

• Has excuse

• Its not my job

• Possible but to difficult

• Something must be done• See the pain

• See problem.

• Soft arguments, Hard words

Positive

• Firm on values, Compromise on petty things

• Don’t do it to others what you would not want to do to you

• Make it happen

Negative

• Firm on petty things, Compromise on values

• Do it to others before they do it to you

• Let it happen

Winner – State of mind

If you think you’ll lose , You are lost For out in the World We find

Success begin with a Fellow’s Will It’s all in the state of mind

Man who wins Is the man who thinks he can

Winner V/S Losers

• Playing to win Playing not to lose

• We can’t control what happens in life but we can control how we deal with it.

• Tougher Competition – Greater incentive, Stronger motivation, Better performance, Sweeter victory.

Be Committed

Commitment

• Friendship - Maintaining confidentiality

• Marriage - Maintaining fidelity

• Job - Integrity

•Community - Responsibility

Commitment brings

• predictability

• security

• personal growth

• Strong relation between individual & community

Relationship & commitment

• Relationship – based on commitment, not just an closeness & intimacy

• Relationships don’t last because of passion & love but because of commitment & empathy

Commitment implies

•Dependability•Reliability•Predictability•Consistency•Caring•Empathy•Sincerity•Character•Integrity•Loyalty

Be Willing To Pay The price for your dream

Story of a Doctor

Main 12v me ThaWo 12v me Thi

Main MBBS me ThaWo BSc me Thi

Main MBBS me ThaWo MSc me Thi

Main MBBS me ThaWo PHD me Thi

Main MBBS me ThaWo Dr ban gai

Uski Shadi huiMaine PG entrance diya

Wo do bachcho ki ma baniMain MD kar raha Tha

Bachche 5 saal ke hoker school jane lageMain post PG karne laga

Bachche 10th pass ho gayeMaine hospital shuru kiya

Afsos bas ye hai ki aaj wo Tubectomy karane aayi hai

AUR

Aaj meri Sagai hai…….

Be predictable, dependable & Loyal

BE LOYAL

“An ounce of Loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness.”

Become expert in the field

Always indulge in Constructive Criticism

Criticize

• With a spirit of helpfulness then to pull down

• Offer solution in criticism

• Criticize the behavior/ act not the person

• Criticize in private

• Don’t overdo it

• End with appreciation

Receiving Criticism

• Evaluate with open mind, Accept if make sense

• Learn from it becomes better & thank the person

• Overlook negative criticism

Its better to benefit from constructive criticism than to be ruined by false praise

Believe in reasoning & have critical thinking

Reasoning

• Cognitive process of looking for reason, Beliefs, conclusion, actions & feeling

• Why reasoning – What we should believe - What we should do

Critical Thinking

• Involve determining the meaning & significance of what is observed & expressed

•If adequate justification to accept argument, inference and conclusion as true

Pseudoscience

“ Body of knowledge, methodology , belief or practice that c laim to be sc ientific / made to appear sc ientific but doesn’t adhere to basic requirements of sc ientific method. ”

Pseudo – False / Pretending

Science ( Latin Scientia) – K nowledge

“Pseudoscience has no scientific meaning & mostly

describe our emotions”

Larry Laudan

Pseudoscience

• Astrology • Quackery • Occult• Superstition • Vaastu

AstrologyTime tw in study

• London 1958 – 2004

• 2000 babies born within minute of each other in march

• Compared for decades 100 parameters about health, occupation marital situation, anxiety level, Aggressiveness , sociability, IQ level, abilities in music, art, sport, mathematics, language etc.

No correlation

J ournal of conscious studies - 2004

Astrology- Failed prediction

• Roger culiver & Philip john –

3011 specific predictions of Astrologers & Astrological magazines over 5 yrs

338- true (11%)

Astrology

• The science & rationale association of India– Rs. 20,00,000- anyone who can predict death (year & date) of 4 famous personalities by astrology / other psychic power

• J ames Randall Educational foundation – 1 million dollar if actual effects attributed to Astrology proved under scientific scrutiny

Why Astrology

• Comfort of having guidance of making decisions

• Comfort of believing in destiny predetermined by astral forces beyond control.

Astrology-Dangers

Adversely affects common sense and reasoning

Precludes individual attempt to improve. Prevent them from becoming ‘self dependant’ and ‘free person’

Crowd mind

Crowd mind is lowest mind in existence, with minimal sensibility

As a part of group you may surrender and think the way crowd thinks, may become obedient slave.

The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you everyone else

Rene Locks

Stay focused & Focus on your strengths

Success- Determination

• Not determined by how we are doing Compared to others , but by how We are doing compared with what we are capable of.

• Successful people compete against themselves.

Component of a good Job

• Economic – Salary & facilities• Job security• Good working condition• Status• Growth Opportunities• Recognition of work done• Challenges of work

Judge your alignment with your job

• Am i passionate about what I am doing ?

• Am i using my talent and strength ?

• Am i happy in my work ?

• Does it bring joy & fulfillment ?

• Am I Earning what I deserve ?

Improve & change

Don’t Argue

Try to maintain your cool in tense situation

Discuss, don’t argue

Discussion Argument

. Throws light . Throws heat

. Comes from an open mind . Closed mind

. Exchange of knowledge . Exchange of ignorance

. Expression of logic . Expression of temper

. Prove what is right . Tries to prove what is right

Trouble Shooting

Relatives & attendants Fight Disperse

10 Min

1st degree friends More Attendants30 Min

Hospital Administration

Police, Media30 Min

Media & Police Strengthening 2nd degree friends

1 Hour

Strike FIRs

1-2 DaysStrike Continues

1-2 DaysSolution, Often Face saving arrived

Forgotten, gone with the wind

Medical Students/ Residents/ Doctors

Professional Nonprofessional

Carrier Conscious No carrier so no fear Socio-cultural trauma Mostly no Trauma

Can go to certain extent Can go to any extent

Friends

CONCLUSION Power

Vigilance - NegligenceSilence - ViolenceTolerance - IntoleranceDiscipline - IndisciplineSeriousness - CarelessnessGood Sense - Nuisance

“Successful Medical Practice is like successfully driving a car where you not only take care of your own mistakes but others mistakes also.”

Use common sense with knowledge

Knowledge Vs Wisdom

• Common sense – 6th sense - Ability to see things as they are and do them as ought to be done.

• Abundance of Common sense - Wisdom

Knowledge Vs Wisdom

• Knowledge - Piling up facts Wisdom - Simplifying it

•Knowledge - Potential power Wisdom - Real power

• To attain knowledge - Add things everyday To attain Wisdom - delete things everyday

Who is educated ( Socrates 470 – 399 BC)

Those-

• First who manage well the circumstances which they encounter day by day, judge situation appropriately as they arise & rarely miss the suitable course of action.

• Next Who are honorable in their dealing with all men, reasonable with their associate as is humanly possible.

• Furthermore Who hold their pleasure always under control, not unduly overcome by their misfortune

Who is educated ( Socrates 470 – 399 BC)

• Most importantly- who are not spoiled by success, hold their ground steadfastly as wise & sober minded man.

• who have character which is in accord with all of above-

These are educated – possessed of all the virtues.

Who is educated ( Socrates 470 – 399 BC)

True broad based education proposes student for life without losing their area of specialization & competence.

Learn from your mistakes

Learn from mistakes

• Wise – Learn from the mistakes

• Wiser – Learn from other people’ mistakes

Our lives are not long enough to learn from our own mistakes

Change with changing time

change

“ In life we cannot avoid change we cannot avoid loss,

Freedom & happiness are found in the flexibility & ease with which we move

through change”

- Buddha

change with changing time

•Inevitable

All progress is change, but all change is not progress

• Evaluate & accept if good

Be a good listener

Good Listener

• Encourage speaker to talk

• Pay attention, Ask questions, show understanding & respect

• Concentrate on message not delivery

• Listen to feelings, not words

Give more than you get

Give more Than you get

• More valuable, regardless of nature & place of work• Give more confidence• Superiors & Colleagues start respecting you• Produces pride & Satisfaction.

Persistence

Persistence

• Nothing will take the place of persistence. Talent will not- nothing in more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not – Unrewarded genius in a proverb. Education will not – The world in full of educated derelicts Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. Clavin goolidge

Hard Work

• Average person - Put 25% of energy of ability into work.

• Albert Einstein – “I think I used about 25% of my intelligence capacity during my life”

• William James – Human being use only 10-12% of their potential.

LUCK

• If you want to fail, believe in luck. If you want to succeed, believe in the principle of cause & effect, and you will create your own luck.

“The harder I work, the luckier I get” - Samuel Goldwyn

Exploit & enjoy music

Take Home

Success based on values, ethics, commitment and character is the lasting true success.

We can not change our circumstances but we can change our attitude and action.

Recognize weaknesses and focus on possibilities

Take Home

Failure is a delay, a chance to immerge stronger. not a defeat.

Believe in reasoning and scientific cause & effect relationship rather than superstitions.

Destiny is not a matter of chance. It’s a matter of choice. Its not a thing to be waited for, it is

to be achieved

Thanks