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Shad Helmstetter lays it out in his great book, "What do you say when you talk to yourself?" is a great weekend read with the tools to bring your life to a screeching halt and turn it around for good!
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The Dual Nature of Our Lives
Identity vs Role Theory
What you do doesn't comprise who you are or
your “R” is not who you “I”
Your Identity
Our "I" represents our....
values, beliefs, principles, desires and emotions--our inner selves.
Your Role
Our "R" is made up of ......
The many roles we play in our lives, or our outer selves.
Performance
If we confuse our role performances with our values as a human being, our self-image will go up and down with each performance.
The Risk
Regardless of the level of our self-image, we constantly work to bring our performance into line with that self-image.
The Risk Explained
Therefore, if we translate our "I" perception as a rating between 1 and 10, without a “10” rating for our self-image our role performance will be limited.
What makes up your “I”?
How do you rate your "I"?
A Healthy “I” Rating
If you rate your "I" between 8 and 10, you are a winner!
You have a healthy self-image. You feel good about yourself most of the time, no matter how you are performing in your roles.
A Not So Health “I” Rating
If you rate yourself between 4 and 7, you are an at-leaster. If things go fairly well on your "R" side, you feel pretty good about yourself. If your role performance goes badly, you work to get back to average. People in this position tell themselves,
"I may not be a winner, but at least I'm not a loser."
A Dangerous “I” Rating
If you rate your "I" between 0 and 3, you're in the category of non-winner.You allow your role performance to affect how you feel about yourself.
That poor self-image affects your performance, putting you in a cycle of self-defeating attitudes and behaviors.
How Do We Change Our “I” Rating?
The Five Levels of Self Talk
Programming
Programming Creates BeliefsBeliefs Create AttitudesAttitudes Create FeelingsFeelings Determine ActionActions Create Results
Level 1 Negative AcceptanceThe Most Harmful
“I just don't have.....
“I just can't seem to …
“I can't imagine ever....
“Today's just not my day”
Level 2 Recognition of NeedDeceptive at Best
“I need to ....
“I ought to .....
“I should ......
“I really should lose weight.
Level 3 Decision to ChangeFirst Truly Effective Level
“I never ......
“I no longer find that ....
“I no longer put off .......
“I never eat more than I need.”
Level 4 The Better YouPainting a Completed New Self
“I have a 33 inch waist and ......
“I have a great job and my needs are met.”
“I am healthy, organized, and in complete control of my life.”
Level 5 Universal AffirmationA “Oneness” with Your Maker
“It is done.”
“I am one with the Spirit”
“I am worthy of all good things, my battles are won, I only need to show up to claim that which is already complete.”
Summary
You must separate your Identity from your Roles. You must not allow role
failures to cause “hits” to your identity.
Your programming can begin today.Special thanks to Dr. Shad Helmstetter And Sandler Sales Training Materials
Shermanmohr at Shermanmohr dot com
