Pawpaw Stephens

Multigenre Project_Fall 2012

Evann Webb

Today school was awful. The cafeteria served those nasty pork chop sandwiches for lunch and

Mrs. Huntley loaded me up with homework for one night. I see my mama’s car is in the driveway. That’s

odd she usually is never off work this early. Did I do something? Am I in trouble? My dog Shea greets me

at the door eager for some attention and I happily scoop her up to give some belly rubs. Something on the

couch catches my eyes. It’s my mama.

I see a slouched over blob on the couch and hear slight sobs as my mother whispers into the

phone “Is he ok? Is my daddy ok?” What has happened to pawpaw? I know it’s bad from the urgency in

her voice. I lay my book bag down and sit next to my mama as she finishes her conversation. She looks at

me and squeaks “pawpaw’s had a stroke.” I could feel my eyes widen as I took in a deep breath. I wasn’t

too sure what a stroke was. This is how it all started. This is the day my pawpaw changed.

A year passed and now the effects of my pawpaw’s stroke were beginning to take effect. He

had little memory and little strength left. His speech began to slur and he could no longer complete his

crossword puzzle books. He always carried a puzzle book in his shirt pocket with a pen just in case my

mawmaw took a little too long in the department store. What hit my pawpaw the hardest was no longer

being able to drive. He loved to drive his tan colored impala on Sundays after church to visit his best

friend Ross to play the card game canasta. Pawpaw didn’t like being taken care of, but eventually it got

to the point where he and my mawmaw had to move in with my aunt. This happened when he had been

diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. This disease affected his sense of coordination and balance making it

hard for him to walk or even get out of chairs. There was little my family could do as we lived in North

Carolina and they were in West Virginia. This made us feel awful. We took as many trips as our schedules

would allow.

The phone rang one day. The room became still and my mama slowly reached for the phone.

There was something about this call that made my stomach turn. My pawpaw hadn’t been doing well

lately and we all knew his time with us wasn’t going to be much longer. There wasn’t much shock as my

aunt told us he had been moved to hospice. Today I got to talk to my pawpaw. He asked the same

questions several times, but it doesn’t aggravate me like it used to. I hated telling him what I had for

dinner four times in one conversation, but now I’m overjoyed just to talk to him.

It was finally summer time! No school or homework for several months. When I came home

my things were packed and my parents waiting on me for a surprise trip to West Virginia. This wasn’t a

good surprise trip. I could tell by the worry lines outside of my mother’s eyes as she tried to smile at me.

We made it to West Virginia and were visiting my mawmaw and pawpaw for a few days while staying

with my aunt. It was too crowded in her house with me, mama, daddy, aunt Suzie, uncle Gordon, Sean,

Garrett, Stacy, uncle Kevin, aunt Lisa and my cousin Kerra.

We all went to visit my pawpaw on Friday. This is a day I’ll never forget. Only a few could go

in at a time. Finally it was my turn to see my pawpaw. I came in with my heart racing not knowing what to

expect, but when I saw him I wasn’t nervous anymore. He looked at me funny. When he saw me his face

scrunched up like he was confused and thinking really hard. He cocked his head sideways looked me dead

in the eyes and blurted out “Ma’am you are absolutely beautiful, but I can’t recall your name. I’ve only

met you a few times could you please tell me again?” I was shocked! How could my pawpaw not know

my name? How could he say he’s only seen me a few times? I’ve spent every summer and thanksgiving

with him since I was two years old!! My heart sunk and my mouth was dry, but my eyes were not. Tears

streamed from my eyes and I could tell my tears confused pawpaw even more. He looked sad, because he

knew his question had hurt me, but it was clear he didn’t know why. My mama just took our hands and

placed them together and introduced me as his granddaughter Evann. This was a hard day.

A few months had passed after this awful last trip. We finally got the phone call that my

pawpaw was going to leave hospice to be at my aunt’s house. I thought this was great. Being released from

hospice maybe meant he wasn’t as sick anymore. That was until my mama told me he asked to go home,

because he knew he was ready to pass and wanted to be somewhere comfortable. When she solemnly

spoke those words the tears came because I knew what she meant. My pawpaw was ready to die. This was

a hard realization.

Because of my parents work schedule we couldn’t head to West Virginia for a few days. Within these

few days my papaw passed away. I couldn’t believe MY pawpaw was gone. The man who I had spent so

many summers with being playful and playing pranks on my mawmaw. We drove up to West Virginia so

my mama could help with arrangements and attend the visitation then the funeral. This was my first

funeral and I didn’t know what to expect. I said my goodbyes and during the visitation my mama and I

slipped a West Virginia lottery ticket into his coat pocket. He always played the lottery even though

mawmaw told him he shouldn’t “gamble”. His philosophy was someone’s gotta win why not me? I miss

him already.

The funeral was beautiful and I loved hearing all the wonderful stories and memories people

had of my pawpaw. He was a great man. Before they lowered him into the ground I stroked his coffin.

Then I left with my family thinking of how I would never see my pawpaw again.

A young and handsome Pawpaw Stephens! No wonder my mawmaw wanted to marry him. This was taken a year before he went into the Navy.

My pawpaw was someone who everyone got along with. He was always smiling and telling

jokes to anyone who would listen including the waiters and waitresses at Shoneys who also called him

pawpaw. His most famous joke was towards the end of the meal when asked “Is there anything else I can

get you all” he would grin with his reply of “Yea you can cover the bill.” His heart was full of nothing, but

love for his family and friends. He was a devoted member and leader of The Masonry where he attended

“meetings” to do official business. We all knew these “meetings” were when he could get away from

mawmaw so he could finally eat a piece of chocolate cake without being scolded about his sugar.

My pawpaw lived a long and humble life with his sweetheart, Eva Mae. He and my mawmaw

had four children and from these four children he gained seven grandchildren. My pawpaw influenced

each of his grandchildren especially his grandsons who have followed in his footsteps as active members

in the Navy. He also taught me many lessons that I have carried into my young adult years. The biggest

life lesson he taught me was to appreciate family. Pawpaw was a big family man and was constantly trying

to bring everyone together. He would always say “there is no one that will love and accept you like

family”. Pawpaw truly lived up to this statement. When I made poor decisions he was always there to tell

me what I needed to hear not what I wanted to, but always accepted me and never judged. When I did

good things or something great happened to me he was my biggest supporter. I remember when I had

made the cheerleading squad in middle school how when I called to tell him he actually made up a cheer

to congratulate me!

He had the ability to make me feel special when I came to visit him. Pawpaw always greeted

me at his front door with a freshly made cookies that he “claimed” he slaved for hours making, but I knew

mawmaw was the only one capable in that household of baking anything. I cannot go into a Pizza Hut

without thinking of my pawpaw as that was our special place. When I was little we would tell everyone we

were going for a walk around the neighborhood, but really would walk to the Pizza Hut right behind my

grandparents’ home where we shared a personal pan pizza and talked. Kenneth Ray Stephens was a

husband, father, pawpaw, veteran, mason, leader, and friend. He played each of these roles well and he will

forever be missed.

My pawpaw! Obviously he is trying to sneak some sweets when

mawmaw isn’t around.

Dear pawpaw,

It’s hard to sit down and write you this letter, because I know you will never have the opportunity to read

it. It comforts me to know that you are in a better place than I am and your body is now healthy again. I miss you so

much when I come to visit mawmaw especially on holidays. When I do visit I sit in that old gray recliner and think of

how we would sit together and watch old westerns. The first father’s day after your passing was hard in the Webb

household. Since your death was so close to this holiday mama had already bought you a card to send in the mail

filled with love. However, you never got to read it.

After your funeral I remember lying in bed crying. I wasn’t prepared for this and I didn’t understand why

you were taken from me and the rest of our family. This was a point in my life where I questioned things that I

shouldn’t have. I tried to talk to you and pray about the situation, but I was still so angry. Now that I have gotten

older I understand how it was your time and I was being selfish when I would pray that you would come back. There

was some reason you were taken from this Earth and I truly believe you left your mark on everyone you came in

contact with.

You have missed so much in my life pawpaw. I always wish you were here so you could have seen me in

my prom dress, watch me graduate high school, get the phone call that I was accepted into college and especially

birthdays and holidays. I also wish you had been able to meet my boyfriend Jordan. You would love him just as much

as I do. The entire family has given me their approval and we are all waiting until the day he proposes, but I don’t

think that can happen soon enough! It’s hard to believe that someone can find their sweetheart at only fourteen, but I

did. We have been together over six years and are building a home. It comforts me to know that you have been there

for these events watching down on me.

I miss you and think of you often. There are times when I wish you were still with us, but that’s me being

selfish again. I remember how much you were there for me when I was a little girl even though you lived about six

hours away. I remember our “little secrets” such as our Pizza Hut visits and eating a piece of butterscotch candy

before supper. When I visit mawmaw and see your pictures and belongings still there it fills my heart up, but also

makes me want to cry. I hope you know I visit your grave each time I go to West Virginia. Sometimes I simply sit on

the bench across from your grave to think about you and how you have impacted me. I love you pawpaw and I know

you’re never far from my heart.

Love always your granddaughter,

Evann Webb

Here is a picture of my mawmaw and pawpaw Stephens. Of course there’s my

pawpaw lounging in his old recliner. We used to sit together to watch movies and

finish puzzle books.

A major disease my pawpaw faced before he left this earth was Parkinson’s. I chose to

research about this disease because honestly I didn’t really know what the symptoms were or how fast it

affected the body. I discovered that Parkinson’s is a disease that affects the brain while causing a person

to shake or tremor. This shaking affects a person’s balance, movement and coordination (Board,

A.D.A.M. Editorial). This is the reason my pawpaw had to quite driving. He no longer could hold the

steering wheel properly and to move his feet from the gas to the break was a difficult task.

Incidence of Parkinson’s increases with age, but an estimated four percent of people with PD

are diagnosed before the age of 50 (Statistics on Parkinson’s). When this disease occurs in younger

people it is usually from a form of this disease that runs in the family. Men are one and a half times more

likely to have Parkinson's than women (Statistics on Parkinson’s). Some of the symptoms my pawpaw

exhibited included drooling, difficulty swallowing, problems with balance (walking), muscle aches, stiff

muscles, loss of fine motor movements, and memory loss (Board, A.D.A.M. Editorial). However, some of

these symptoms are also connected to the stroke he had previously to being diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

The image displays several common symptoms of a person with Parkinson’s such as tremors and

shuffling of feet.

It is difficult to diagnose Parkinson’s when it is in its early stages. A physician typically takes

a neurological history and administers an examination. Some of the things a physician looks for when

administering these exams include stiffness in legs and arms, can a person rise easily from a chair, looks

to see of expression is animated, observes for tremors and how quickly a person can regain balance.

These tests help to eliminate any other potential diseases (Board, A.D.A.M. Editorial).

As of right now there is no known cure for Parkinson’s. The goal of doctors is to control

symptoms not eliminate them. A majority of the time medication is used to help control symptoms, but

eventually the body will not respond appropriately to medication as the disease progresses (Board,

A.D.A.M. Editorial). Without treatment the person will get worse until they are totally disabled. Many

people respond to medications to relieve symptoms, but sometimes the side effects may be severe. Some

lifestyle changes can be made to help control Parkinson’s such as good eating habits, exercising, regular

testing, regular rest periods, avoiding stress, and the use of assistive devices such as walkers (Board,

A.D.A.M. Editorial).

The image depicts the crescent shaped cell mass substantia nigra and how Parkinson’s

specifically destroys this part of the brain stem. This area of the brain sends fibers to tissues located

throughout the brain to release essential neurotransmitters that help control movement and coordination.

When a person has Parkinson’s this area of the brain stem is destroyed while eliminating the essential

neurotransmitters that control movement and coordination (Board, A.D.A.M. Editorial). Meaning, when the

substantia nigra is destroyed the brain can no longer function properly to control movement. The image

helps to depict a healthy substantia nigra from one affected by Parkinson’s. The substantia nigra is darker

when it is healthy, but when affected by Parkinson’s this area becomes worn down and lighter.

It is important to learn about Parkinson’s because approximately 60,000 Americans are

diagnosed with this disease each year. Unfortunately, this number does not reflect the thousands of cases

that go undetected. The Center for Disease control determined Parkinson’s disease is the 14th leading cause

of death in the United States. Worldwide, it is estimated that four to six million people suffer from this

condition. Scientists and doctors are adamantly working towards a cure and making progress to identify the

best treatment options available (Statistics on Parkinson’s).

Sources

Board, A.D.A.M. Editorial. "Parkinson's Disease." Http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. U.S. National Library of

Medicine, 18 Nov. 0000. Web. 11 Nov. 2012.

<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001762/>.

"Statistics on Parkinson's." PDF.org. Parkinson's Disease Foundation (PDF), n.d. Web. 11 Nov. 2012.

<http://www.pdf.org/en/parkinson_statistics>.

This image depicts symptoms due to

Parkinson's disease. Digital image.

Familymedicinehelp.com. Family Medicine

Help, 25 July 2012. Web. 11 Nov. 2012.

<http://familymedicinehelp.com/parkinsons-

disease>.

Substantia Nigra and Parkinson's Disease.

Digital image. Http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.

A.D.A.M Inc, 26 Sept. 2011. Web. 11 Nov. 2012.

<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PM

H0001762/figure/A000755.B19515/?report=obje

ctonly>.

As people get older they tend to get distracted by their everyday life. This may include going

to work, school, paying bills and squeezing in time with friends. More often than not family members

aren’t seen until holidays and other family gatherings. The younger generation often forgets to make

time for their family including grandparents. Time with family is taken for granted, because many have

the idea that “death won’t happen in my family” and after it’s too late many regret not making time for

family. No one is guaranteed to wake up each morning this is why it’s important to spend time with

family. Once a family member has passed is not the time to wish you had made more of an effort to

visit with them. The younger generation needs to spend more time with their families.

How would you feel if one day you got the phone call that your grandfather had passed away

from something suddenly like a disease or a terrible accident? You would more than likely stop and

wish you had made more of an effort to visit him. A mental image of memories would flow through

your mind and tears wouldn’t be far behind. A person can be taken away far too quickly this is why it’s

important to make time for family.

Actor Michael J. Fox was stated “family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” This is a

powerful statement to support that people need to make time for family other than the required holiday

gatherings. Friends are allowed to walk in and out of your life, but family are those who stay in your

life no matter what happens. They accept you for all flaws and will always be there for support. Family

is everything because those are the people who will be the constant in a person’s life. However, this

constant can be taken away in an instant.

The only logical thing to do is to make more time for family. This is important so when a

loved one is taken away a person does not look back and wish they had made spent more time with the

person. Spending time with family is the right thing to do. Generally a simple phone call or a quick visit

means the world to your family so why not take the time and effort to do just that? It’s time to get rid of

everyday distractions and excuses! Tell your friends you’ll see them another night throughout the week.

Don’t take family for granted because no one is assured tomorrow.

Here is pawpaw about to fall asleep at our house during Christmas time. What a sweater!

I’m sure it’s one of those mawmaw bought and packed for him.

My name is Evann Webb. I am a junior at The University of North Carolina at

Charlotte and am majoring in elementary education. I have known since I was young staying up

late and helping my mama grade papers that teaching was the career for me. I am twenty years old

and my favorite other “person” in the world is my cat Mr. Snoops. My pawpaw passed away when

I was 13 years old. That was a traumatic time for my entire family. My purpose for this project is

to write about a hard time in my life. I want to share certain events that are meaningful while

remembering and reflecting on my pawpaw. I want to share these memories with my family. The

intended audience would be firstly for my mawmaw who misses him to this day and would

appreciate this, my family and also to those who have been affected by death. They will be proud

to know that I have chosen to write about my pawpaw Kenneth Ray Stephens.