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Barrie Byron & Ann Grove
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Communication Culture:
Resolving Conflict and Leveraging Feedback
Ann Grove and Barrie Byron
Veteran presenters who are passionate about lifelong learning and
experienced in embracing change
2012 STC Mid-Atlantic Regional ConferenceProfessional Development Track
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2
Barrie Byron20+ years – Technical writer,
happy team member
16 years– Active STC
member and leader
11 years– Active Toastmaster
member and leader
Lifelong learner– Minimal conflict
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Ann Grove
11 years– Business owner, technical communication
consultant
11 years– Active STC member
and leader
Lifelong learner– Embracing change
Negotiation is an ongoing, evolving social experiment
“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trial.”~Confucius
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Get started
• Passion is good; obsession is bad
• Put assumptions aside and listen to all parties
• Develop strategies to remain focused, respectful, empathetic, caring
• Avoid blame, accusations
• Avoid “right” and “wrong”
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Communication Culture
• Learn to adapt your communication style for your current team culture– High tech versus low tech– Direct conversation versus advance agendas– Phone versus email, or even instant message
chats
“Of all things, communication is the most wonderful.”
~John Dewey, 1939
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4 root causes for conflict
1. Personalities
2. Misunderstandings
3. Issues
4. Leadership styles
“There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or your alter yourself to meet them.”
~Phyllis Bottome
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The cause behind the cause
Sometimes the
obvious cause is
actually a symptom
Examples of hidden
causes: power
struggles,
need to take credit
Cause 1
Contentious personalities
• Dispositions and personalities are complex and complicated:
• Parenting• Culture• Community• Experiences• Outside influences• Professional history (success, failures, habits)
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5 personality types
1. Know-it-all
2. Argumentative
3. People pleaser
4. Narcissist ego-maniac
5. Self-loather
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Cause 2 Misunderstanding
• Miscommunication is primary cause of conflict
• Perceptions vary
• Facts, relevant information not clearly communicated
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Cause 3
Issues
• Social atmospheres change when team members have different:– Opinions– Objectives– Preferences
• Virtual work – New challenges
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Cause 4
Leadership styles
Preferential responses to the four primary leadership styles:
1. Authoritarian
2. Democratic
3. Charismatic
4. Passive
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• Listen objectively• Understand• Act
“Seek first to understand
and then to be understood.”~Steven Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Leverage feedback
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Graphic shared by permission from Don Moyer
6 methods for resolving conflict
1. Ignore it
2. Smooth it over
3. Force
4. Compromise
5. Collaborate
6. Involve a third party
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Prepare to negotiate
•Identify and assess your options
•Rough out a game plan
“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
http://www.raymears.com/Woodlore/Bushcraft_Tips_And_Advice.cfm/11-How-to-Sharpen-an-Axe/
Above all, stay positive“Enthusiasts are fighters. They have fortitude. They have staying qualities. Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress! With it, there is accomplishment. Without it, there are only alibis.” ~ Henry Ford
http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/07/optimist-author-mark-stevenson-is-trippin%E2%80%99%E2%80%A6-through-the-tech-revolution/
Are you ready?
Investigated the issueUnderstand team culture & personalitiesIdentified root causes, visible & hiddenIdentified and assessed optionsHave a game planStay positiveReady to negotiate!
Be ready to use your pause button
“You ask a coworker to do something, and she responds, ‘That’s not my job.’ Feeling your blood pressure rise, you may be tempted to blurt out, ‘well, it’s not my job either, blockhead!’”~Negotiating for Dummies
Examples:
Sleep on it, go to the restroom, consult with a peer
Body Language
• Voice control• Eye contact: 30 to 60 percent of the time• Facial expressions: Smile!• Arms and hands open• Body tilted toward the speaker
• Subtly mirror your adversary.
• Google: “Forbes How to Win an Argument Without Words”
Know when to move on
• Swim with dolphins
• Be wary of tunas and sharks
http://www.snowmobileforum.com/attachments/lounge/1476d1111450284-dolphin-shark-1.jpg
~ Chellie Campbell, in The Wealth Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction
Scenario 1: Face to Face
Writer is asking developer to provide feedback on deadline
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Scenario 2: On the Phone
Writer is asking boss for help setting priorities
Practice negotiating
• Negotiate in a volunteer position
• Negotiate with your kids or a spouse
• Shop for a car
• Shop for expensive jewelry
• Negotiate at an antique store
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Keep in touch!
• Barrie Byron– [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/barriebyron – barriebyron.wordpress.com – twitter @barriebyron
• Ann Grove– [email protected]– http://www.linkedin.com/in/anngrove – http://www.logicalwriters.com/ – twitter @AnnGrove