Communication Culture: Resolving Conflict and Leveraging Feedback

Ann Grove and Barrie Byron Veteran presenters who are passionate

about lifelong learning and experienced in embracing change

2012 STC Summit Professional Development Track

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Barrie Byron 20+ years – Technical writer,

happy team member 16 years – Active STC

member and leader 11 years – Active Toastmaster

member and leader Lifelong learner – Minimal conflict

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Ann Grove

11 years – Business owner, technical communication

consultant 11 years

– Active STC member and leader

Lifelong learner – Embracing change

Learning objectives • Evaluate team culture • Understand the four root causes for conflict • Know the six methods for resolving conflict • Select appropriate method and take specific

actions to resolve conflict in a mature and respectful manner

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Agenda

• Chat about us • Talk about what we’re going

to achieve • Interactive workshop

scenarios • Questions and Answers

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Negotiation is an ongoing, evolving social experiment

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trial.” ~Confucius

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Get started

• Passion is good; obsession is bad • Put assumptions aside and listen to all

parties • Develop strategies to

remain focused, caring respectful, empathetic

• Avoid blame, accusations • Avoid “right” and “wrong”

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Communication Culture

• Learn to adapt your communication style for your current team culture – High tech versus low tech – Direct conversation versus advance agendas – Phone versus email, or even instant message

chats “Of all things, communication

is the most wonderful.” ~John Dewey, 1939

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4 root causes for conflict

1. Personalities 2. Misunderstandings 3. Issues 4. Leadership styles

“There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or

you alter yourself to meet them.” ~Phyllis Bottome

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The cause behind the cause

Sometimes the obvious cause is actually a symptom Examples of hidden causes: power struggles, need to take credit

Cause 1

Contentious personalities • Dispositions and personalities are complex

and complicated: • Parenting • Culture • Community • Experiences • Outside influences • Professional history (success, failures, habits)

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5 personality types

1. Know-it-all 2. Argumentative 3. People pleaser 4. Narcissist

ego-maniac 5. Self-loather

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Cause 2 Misunderstanding

• Miscommunication is primary cause of conflict

• Perceptions vary • Facts, relevant

information not clearly communicated

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Cause 3

Issues • Social atmospheres change when team

members have different: – Opinions – Objectives – Preferences – Communication styles

• Virtual work – New challenges

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Cause 4

Leadership styles Preferential responses to the four primary leadership styles:

1. Authoritarian 2. Democratic 3. Charismatic 4. Passive

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• Listen objectively • Understand • Act

“Seek first to understand and then to be understood.” ~Steven Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Leverage feedback

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Graphic shared by permission from Don Moyer

6 methods for resolving conflict

1. Ignore it 2. Smooth it over 3. Force 4. Compromise 5. Collaborate 6. Involve a third

party

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Prepare to negotiate

• Identify and assess your options • Rough out a game plan

“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I‘d spend six sharpening my axe.”

~Abraham Lincoln

http://www.raymears.com/Woodlore/Bushcraft_Tips_And_Advice.cfm/11-How-to-Sharpen-an-Axe/

Above all, stay positive “Enthusiasts are fighters. They have fortitude. They have staying qualities. Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress! With it, there is accomplishment. Without it, there are only alibis.” ~ Henry Ford

http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/07/optimist-author-mark-stevenson-is-trippin%E2%80%99%E2%80%A6-through-the-tech-revolution/

Are you ready?

Investigated the issue Understand team culture & personalities Identified root causes, visible & hidden Identified and assessed options Have a game plan Stay positive Ready to negotiate!

Be ready to use your pause button

“You ask a coworker to do something, and she responds,‘That’s not my job.’ Feeling your blood pressure rise, you may be tempted to blurt out,‘well, it’s not my job either, blockhead!’” ~Negotiating for Dummies

Examples: Sleep on it, go to the restroom, consult with a peer

Body Language

• Voice control • Eye contact: 30 to 60 percent of the time • Facial expressions: Smile! • Arms and hands open • Body tilted toward the speaker • Subtly mirror your adversary

• Google: “Forbes How to Win an Argument Without Words”

Know when to move on

• Swim with dolphins • Be wary of tunas and sharks

http://www.snowmobileforum.com/attachments/lounge/1476d1111450284-dolphin-shark-1.jpg

~Chellie Campbell, in The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction

Scenario 1: Face to Face

Writer is asking developer to provide feedback under deadline

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1. Ignore it 2. Smooth it over 3. Force 4. Compromise 5. Collaborate 6. Involve a third

party

Scenario 2: On the Phone

Writer is asking boss for help setting priorities

1. Ignore it 2. Smooth it over 3. Force 4. Compromise 5. Collaborate 6. Involve a third

party

Practice negotiating

• Negotiate in a volunteer position • Negotiate with your kids or a spouse • Shop for a car • Shop for expensive jewelry • Negotiate at an antique store

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Keep in touch

• Barrie Byron – barriebyron@gmail.com – www.linkedin.com/in/barriebyron – barriebyron.wordpress.com – twitter @barriebyron

• Ann Grove – ann@logicalwriters.com – http://www.linkedin.com/in/anngrove – http://www.logicalwriters.com/ – twitter @AnnGrove