Growing Up LargeGrowing Up LargeGrowing Up LargeGrowing Up Large

“The bond between brothers and sisters is unique. It is the longest lasting relationship most people have, longer than the relationship one has with their own parents, spouse, or children. The bonds may wax and wane, a person’s lifetime quest for personal identity is undeniable interwoven with his or her siblings.”

Statistics Of Large Families

• Parents of large families are less likely to overreact to minor problems~ most of which they have experienced in the

• Children in large families learn to cooperate and share things with people of different personalities and temperaments, helping them be more flexible about future changesin their world and preparing them for interaction with the wider community.

• Large families tend to have more structure with set guidelines and consequences that are known to everyone.

Extended Family Ties• Having a loving relationship

with a grandparent makes children feel special. It builds their self esteem to know that there is an extended family member that loves them. A sense of identify develops as children learn about their roots.

Oldest Child– Believes must gain

and hold superiority over other children

– Being right and in control is important to this individual

– Organized– Intense and high maintenance– Eager to please– Perfectionist– High achievers– Abide by the rules– Detail oriented– Determined– Confident

Oldest Child Continued– Strives to please– Strives to protect and help

others– Feels pressure to succeed from

parents and self– Often told to be a role modal

for younger siblings– Sometimes becomes a

substitute parent to siblings– More likely to go to college – Likes to avoid trouble

Second Oldest Child– Develops abilities first child does

not exhibit– May push down other siblings– May be a rebel, often does not

like position– Always racing to try and catch up

to older sibling

The Middle Child

– Feels that life is unfair– Adaptable. – Social– Generous– Cooperative – Flexible– Diplomatic– Easy going– Loyal– Peacemaker– Strong negotiator– 5 times more likely to be held back a grade

The In-between Child

• The in-between child is not the middle child, but finds him or herself stuck usually somewhere between the middle and the youngest child. In extremely large families they may also be stuck between the oldest and middle children.

The Youngest Child– Center of Attention– Used to getting own way– Manipulative – Persistent– Affectionate– Risk taker– Outgoing– Creative– Sense of humor

Multiple Births

• The child who is born first will often have first born characteristics

• Become either competitive or interdependent as they grow. Sometimes one twin acts as the leader the other as a follower.

Summary• Younger children will always want to be able to do the things older siblings are

allowed to do. And older siblings may always feel that the younger siblings get away with things that they themselves were not able to do when they were the same age.

• Studies have shown that even babies experience depression when they are separated.

• Siblings are often able to reveal to each other parts of themselves that they are reluctant to share with anyone else.