Book review ch6

DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS

REAL COMMUNICATIONS by Dan O’Hair AND Mary Wiemann

Wednesday, October 16, 13

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Two individuals interconnect and are interdependent through relationships.



Interpersonal communication is the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages between people who have a relationship and are influenced by a partner’s message.



Your relational network is a web of relationships that connect individuals.

familyfriendshiploveonline friendship



Friendship is a close and caring relationship between two people that is mutually beneficial and satisfying.

availablecaringhonestconfidentialloyalempathic



Love is a relationship which you have deep affection, passion, and commitment.

erosludusstorgepragmamaniaagape


RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

To satisfy basic human needs...

We have a need for companionship, to involve others in our lives, and to be involved in other’s lives, or inclusion.




We have an innate need for intellectual, emotional, and physical stimulation.




We might enter into relationships in order to fulfill a goal, whether emotional or practical.



Proximity

Physical attractiveness

Similarity



Attraction-similarity hypothesis

The extent to which we project ourselves to others is a direct result of the attraction we feel toward them.



Matching hypothesis

We seek relationships with those that have comparable levels of attractiveness.



Genetic-similarity hypothesis

We tend to form relationships with those of the same ethnic group due to greater genetic similarity.


RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

Social exchange of costs and benefits means that you accept the good with the bad.

Rewards are the things that benefit you.

Costs are the things that upset you.



Uncertainty reduction theory says that when two people meet, they try to decrease the uncertainty between them.

monitoring

proactive strategies

indirect strategies



Relational dialectics theory is experiencing contradicting or opposing feelings about your partner and about the relationship.

Dialectical tensions



Dialectical tensions when you have conflicting goals.

autonomy vs. connection

openness vs. closedness

predictability vs. novelty


WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

Social penetration theory

When people move from a superficial level in a relationship to a more intimate level.



Communication privacy management theory

Describes how you perceive information about yourself and how you disclose or protect it.



Strategic topic avoidance is used to maneuver the conversation away from undesirable topics.


RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Initiating stage

Exploratory stage

Intensification stage

Stable stage

partners are integrating and bonding


RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Declining stage when things fall apart.

uncertainty events

interference

unmet expectations


RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Repair tactics

improving communication

focus on the positive

reinterpreting behaviors with a more balanced view


RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Termination stage

fading of the relationship

death


RELATIONSHIP STAGES

Reconciliation

spend more time together

mediation

civil resolution

don’t give up

mutual interaction

miss each other


Education

Book review ch6