Dealing With Divorce

EDEE 606: Awareness PresentationBeth Thornburg

Melanie KiernickiMatthew Carrington

Sarah Propst

Divorce in the United States

• Divorce rates in the United States are approaching 50%.

Divorce in the United States

• There are different kinds of divorces.

Divorce in the United States

• Traveling between two different houses can take its toll on young children.

Divorce in the Classroom

• Talking to parents• Talking to the

student

Student Behavior Relating to Divorce & Separation• Anxiety• Aggression• Frustration• Despondency/Sadness• Demand for attention• Guilt• Fear/Worry• Withdrawal• Overcompensation/

Need for Achievement• Responsibility

*Children cope in different ways and need various levels & types of support

Why may a student be hesitant to accept assistance?

Worry of stigmatismDesire for

confidentiality

Student Ability to Deal with DivorceAble to review and revise

their own (unique) perspectives

Understand what is happening within their family

Understand the role they play in affecting arrangements and relationships in the family

Recognize and reflect upon their own expectations for the future

Student Ability to Deal with Divorce

Younger students benefit from activities that offer distraction

Older students benefit from the opportunity to discuss their feelings

Both groups benefit from peer groups

Student Ability to Deal with Divorce

Young children and adolescents still value their parents as their ideal support system

Obtaining Assistance: When to Seek Help

If the behavior seems extremely unusual for a particular child, is serious or harmful, and continues for a prolonged period of time

Obtaining Assistance: Who Can Help?

Parents

School counselors/psychologists

Books and online resources:http://extension.missouri.edu/p/GH6611 teacher

guide, activities in classroom, how to communicate with parents

http://childrenanddivorce.bizland.com/rfep articles on guidelines, red flag behaviors, and how to work with others as a team to help students

http://www.brainpopjr.com/health/relationships/divorce/grownups.weml lesson ideas for teaching about issues of divorce

Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for

Parents Set up a parent information center or lending library

Provide parents with online resourceso http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/divorce.html

Provide a list of books that parents can read with their children

Encourage parents to monitor their children’s school progress, and give them information on how to help their children succeed in schoolo http://parenting-ed.org has free parent handouts about how to

improve study skills and other ways to improve school performance

Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for

Parents Encourage parents to engage in learning activities with

their child at home

Encourage parent networkingo Provide opportunities for parents to participate in school

activities and interact with other parents

Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for

ParentsProvide parents with references or suggestions of people that can assist them

o Local support groupshttp://www.divorcesource.com/groups/southcarolina.shtml

provides a list of the support groups in South Carolinao Family counseling agencies

http://local.divorcemag.com/Divorce_Counseling_North_Charleston_SC-r1371268-North_Charleston_SC.html provides a list of local counseling agencies

Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for

ParentsProvide parents with references or suggestions of people that can assist them

o Family therapistsAmerican Association of Marriage and Family Therapy is an

organization that can provide a listing of trained marriage, family and child counselors in your area. (202) 429-1825.

o National supportParents Without Partners, Inc., is an international nonprofit

membership organization for single parents that provides educational, family and social activities. www.parentswithoutpartners.org/

Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for

Students 

Online resources o http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/divorce.htmlo http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/family/divorce/

Bookso http://www4.uwsp.edu/education/pshaw/resource_list.htm is a list

of books about divorce for kids of all ages

Talk to otherso Teachers, school counselors, religious leaders, or even peers

Student support groups or informal school groupso http://www.bananasplitsresourcecenter.org/index.html Banana

Splits is a school-based support group program, for children who have experienced divorce or death, that schools can use to start their own chapters or access resources

Accommodations: Classroom and School Support

Work with the family and school to form a network of support that promotes healthy child development

Partnership ModelTwo-way CommunicationAppreciating Family StrengthsMutual Problem Solving

Keep family involved Invite to school activitiesVariety of formal and informal communicationCommunicate with both parents

Accommodations: Classroom and School Support

Create a warm, but structured, school and classroom environmentClear limits and routinesAtmosphere that welcomes all family types

Include all adults that play a role in the child’s lifeCurriculum materials that portray different types of

families positively Peer Mentors

Accommodations: What the Teacher Can Do

Act as a role model Children’s behavior and play give clues to the the struggle

within

Make observations of the child’s attitude and behavior

Provide a Supportive Role: Maintaining consistency and discipline Make children feel competent Listen to the child’s point of view Being an Advocate for the child Reach out to the parents Individualized Learning that integrates support Suggest professional guidance

Accommodations: What the Teacher Can DoIncorporate Activities that:

Encourage understanding of different family typesHelp children communicate about their families Increase self-esteemHelp children appropriate express their feelingsSupport positive parent-child relationships

Accommodations: Activities

Drawing Pictures Many children have difficulty expressing their emotions in

words Family, feelings, Genie Wish

Conversation Starters Questions

Letter Writing To one or both parents about how he/she feels about divorce

Reading children’s books Relatable characters

Writing Stories

Books for Dealing With Divorce, Separations, Loss, or Blended

Families

For Better, For Worse: A Guide to Surviving Divorce for Preteens and Their Families, by Janet Bode and Stan Mack

Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families, by Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

Mom’s House/Dad’s House for Kids, by Isolina Ricci

A Smart Girl’s Guide to her Parent’s Divorce: How to Land on Your Feet When Your World Turns Upside Down, by Nancy Holyoke

Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech

Amber Brown: I, Amber Brown, by Paula Danziger

Peak, by Roland Smith

The Babysitter’s Club: Stacey’s Choice, by Ann M. Martin

Resources Bender, A. & Coleman, M. (2011). Children of divorce. Scholastic, Inc.

Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4424

Civitci, N., Civitci, A., and Fiyakali, N. C. (2009). Loneliness and life satisfaction in adolescents with divorced and non-divorced parents. Educational Sciences: Theory and Practice, 9(2), 513-525. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 847764) 

Courtney, A. (2005). Teaching relaxation skills in physical education. Teaching Elementary Physical Education, 16(3), 34-35. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 733993)

Divorce and children: a collaboration of parents and teachers. Our Children (1999). Retrieved from: http://childrenanddivorce.bizland.com/rfep/id8.html

Halpenny, A. M., Greene, S., & Hogan, D. (2008). Children’s perspectives on coping and support following parental separation. Child Care in Practice, 14(3), 311-325. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 811207)

Haugen, G. M. D. (2010). Children’s perspectives on everyday experiences of shared residence: Time, emotions, and agency dilemmas. Children & Society, 24(2), 112-122. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 871852)

Resources KidsHealth. (2011). KidsHealth: Dealing with divorce. Nemours

Foundation. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/divorce.html

Leigh, S., & Clark, J.A. (2000) Activities for helping children deal with divorce. University of Missouri Extension. MU Extension: Columbia, MO. Retrieved from: http://extension.missouri.edu/explorepdf/hesguide/humanrel/gh6602.pdf

Leon, K., & Spengler, L. (2005). Helping children adjust to divorce: A guide for teachers. University of Missouri Extension. MU Extension: Columbia, MO. Retrieved from: http://extension.missouri.edu/p/GH6611

Lowe, D. F. (2009). Helping children cope through literature. Forum on Public Policy Online, 1, 1-17. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://forumonpublicpolicy.com/spring09papers/archivespr09/lowe.pdf 

Resources Mayseless, O., Bartholomew, K., Henderson, A., & Trinke, S. (2004). “I

was more her mom than she was mine:” Role reversal in a community sample. Family Relations, 53(1), 78-86. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://www.sfu.ca/psyc/faculty/bartholomew/otherpub_files/ofra.pdf

Oesterreich, L. (1996). Divorce matters: Talking with your child’s other parent. Iowa State University Cooperative Extension. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://www.extension.iastate.edu/Publications/PM1640.pdf

Wood, J. J., Repetti, R. L., & Roesch, S. C. (2004). Divorce and children’s adjustment problems at home and school: The role of depressive/withdrawn parenting. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 35(2), 121-142. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 732179)

What schools are doing to help children of divorce. Young Children: The Journal of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (2000). Retrieved from: http://childrenanddivorce.bizland.com/rfep/id1.html

Image Resources http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/images/

http://www.shutterstock.com/index-in.mhtml

http://www.123rf.com/

http://www.google.com/search?q=divorce&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&prmd=imvnslb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=VQWJTu-2M9Sgtgeg76hB&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CGMQ_AUoAQ&biw=1438&bih=683