3/25/2014 Achieving a Professional Writing Style - Gonzaga University

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Why a Resource Devoted toBusiness Writing?

Characteristics of Good Writing

Achieving a Professional WritingStyle

Organizing and Formatting BusinessDocuments

Improving Document Readability

Achieving a Professional Writing StyleThe style of your writing refers to how you express yourself rather than what you say. Style affects the tone of yourcommunication and thus gives the reader an indication of what you are feeling or thinking. Follow these recommendations toproject a professional image in your writing style:

1. Use Positive Language

As much as possible, communicate messages in a courteous manner with positive language. Even when you have tocommunicate bad news, it is possible to word your message positively. The key to wording messages positively is to say whatyou can do, not what you can't do. This approach to writing can have a powerful impact on the way the message is received,as the following examples illustrate:

Negative Wording Positive Wording

We will not be able to approve the budget until theanalysis is complete.

We will be able to approve the new budget once theanalysis is complete.

We cannot issue you a refund without a receipt; you canonly receive store credit.

We will be happy to issue you store credit.

We cannot approve your travel request until yoursupervisor signs this form.

We will be happy to approve your travel request onceyour supervisor signs this form.

2. Use the "You" View

The "you" view refers to a style of writing where the reader's needs are emphasized, rather than the writer's. Considering thereader's needs and point of view is a smart business strategy, and a great way to provide excellent customer service. Noticehow the writerfocused messages below sound selfcentered, while the readerfocused messages (written with the "you" view)sound concerned and professional.

WriterFocused Message ReaderFocused Message ("You" View)

To prevent us from losing money, our bank now requiresidentification when cashing large checks.

To protect your account, we ask for identification whencashing large checks.

So that we may bring our customer records uptodateand eliminate the expense of duplicate mailings, pleaseupdate your address information with us.

So that we may keep your records uptodate and notbother you with duplicate mailings, please update youraddress information with us.

3. Use a Conversational Style of Writing

Business writers should strive to use conversational, everyday language, rather than overly formal language. Overly formalwriting can convey a pompous image; it can also interfere with the clear communication of your message. Look at how muchsimpler and clearer the following messages become when more conversational language is used:

Too Formal Conversational

It will behoove us to henceforth complete alldocumentation within two business days.

Please complete all forms within two business days.

The board has initiated discussions pertaining to the newpolicy.

The board began talking about the new policy.

Pertaining to the contracts, all employees are herewithinstructed to return the contracts to the undersigned.

Please return the contracts to me.

4. Use Inclusive Language

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As a courtesy to readers, business writers should strive to use language that does not exclude people. For example, instead ofsaying, The attorneys brought their wives to the dinner, you could say instead, The attorneys brought their spouses to thedinner. The second sentence conveys the same meaning but does not exclude the female attorneys and their husbands. Onecould also substitute the word significant other for spouses so as not to exclude unmarried people.

Similarly, try to avoid using noninclusive job titles that imply that only a man or woman could hold a particular position. Thefollowing are some noninclusive job titles and their genderneutral substitutes:

NonInclusive Job Titles GenderNeutral Substitutes

Mailman Mail carrier

Workman Worker

Waitress Server

Policeman Police officer

Fireman Fire fighter

5. Use Predominantly Active Voice

Business writers should strive to use mostly active voice in their writing because it is clearer, more vigorous, and less wordy. Inactive voice sentences, the subject is the doer of the action, while in passive voice sentences, the subject is acted upon. Noticethe difference in style between these active and passive voice sentences:

Active Voice Passive Voice

The board voted on the proposal. The proposal was voted upon by the board.

The president notified Human Resources of the change inpersonnel.

Human Resources was notified of the change inpersonnel.

Susan scheduled the meeting for July 21. The meeting was scheduled for July 21.

Note that in the second and third sentences above, we needed to add subjects (the president and Susan) in order to change thesentences to active voice.

Sometimes it is more appropriate to use passive voice, especially when you don't want to draw attention to the doer of theaction. For example, consider these two sentences:

Active Voice Passive Voice

Susan knocked over the coffee pot in the conferenceroom, ruining the table.

The coffee pot was knocked over in the conference room,ruining the table.

If we need to communicate the fact that the table was ruined, but we don't want to embarrass Susan, then passive voice wouldbe the best choice in this situation.

Writers should also use passive voice to place emphasis on the most important information in the sentence. For example,consider the following two sentences:

Active Voice Passive Voice

Betty scheduled the meeting for 4:00 Tuesday. The meeting was scheduled for 4:00 Tuesday.

If it is not important to know who scheduled the meeting (Betty), then we should use passive voice to make the meeting thesubject of the sentence, rather than Betty. This places emphasis on the most important information in the sentence.

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