We’re All Mad Here
We’re All Mad Here
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
The Ladies Book of Etiquette by Florence Hartley
Book of E
tiquette b
y Lillian
Eich
ler
Man
ners &
Social Usages b
y Mrs. Jo
hn
Sherw
oo
d
Encyclopaedia of Etiquette by Emily Holt
Etiquette by Emily Post
Jan
e A
ust
en’s
Gu
ide
to G
ood
Man
ner
s
Excerpts from
We’re All Mad HereWe’re All Mad Here
Alice and Introductions 1
Alice and Manners 3
Alice and Parties 13
Alice and Riddles 9
Alice and Politeness 17
Alice and Appearance 7
Alice and Invitations 5
Alice and Details 15
Alice and Precision 11
Alice and Enjoyment 19
Table of Contents
Alice and Introductions 1
Alice and Manners 3
Alice and Parties 13
Alice and Riddles 9
Alice and Politeness 17
Alice and Appearance 7
Alice and Invitations 5
Alice and Details 15
Alice and Precision 11
Alice and Enjoyment 19
Table of Contents
L e w i s C a r r o l l
Alice & Introductions
tiquette: creating the thin line between order and disorder.
A simple slip of the tongue
into uncertain territory.
chaos was kept on a tight leash
and behind strict bars.
Entire realms of society revolved,
and were dependent,
upon an order so extreme
they wrote entire books on it.
These books were
almost
as cherished as the Bible.
and nearly as important to any devout Victorian.
They contained the petty rules for living
that would become the definition
of their lifestyle.
A lifestyle so unique
and severe
that many an author had something to say,
Dodgson,
also known as Lewis Carroll,
is the brilliant writer of the well-known
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,
and subsequently Through the Looking Glass.
The severity of his lifestyle
wasn’t lost on him,
and he used Alice as the gateway
to parody Victorian times,
to our eternal delight.
Alice & Introductions
e can quickly descend
In the 1800’s,
though perhaps none as much as Charles Dodgson.
noun ’e-ti-ket
the conduct or procedure
required by good
breeding or prescribed by
authority to be
observed in
social or ofiicial life
Alice & EtiquetteAlice & Etiquette
Alice & Manners
here was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and
the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head.
Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,” thought Alice; “only, as it’s asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind.”
T
Alice & Manners 1
Rule 39. Avoid making any noise in
eating, even if each meal is eaten in
solitary state. It is a disgusting habit, and
one not easily cured if once contracted,
to make any noise with the lips
when eating.
Rule 34. In the dining-room, unless it will accommodate all your guests at once, have a silk cord so fastened that, when the room is full, it can be drawn across the door-way those following the guests already in the room, will then return to the parlor, and wait their turn. A still better way, is to set the supper table twice, inviting the married and elderly people to go into the first table, and then, after it is ready for the second time, let the young folks go up.
Rule 35. At dinner,
hold in your left hand
a piece of bread, and
raise your meat or
vegetables with the
fork, holding the bread
to prevent the pieces
slipping from the plate.
Rule 36. Never put
large pieces of food into
your mouth. Use your
fork, or spoon, never your
knife, to put food into your
mouth.
Rule 37. Never
lean forward upon
a table. Let neither
hands nor arms rest there heavily.
Rule 38. Sit easily in your chair, neither too near the table,
nor too far from it, and avoid such tricks as putting your
arms on the table, leaning back lazily in your chair, or playing
with your knife, fork, or spoon.
“
Alice & Invitations 2
“No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice coming.
“ There’s plenty of room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
“ Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all around the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. “ I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.
“ There isn’t any,” said the March Hare.
“ Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily.
“ It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,” said the March Hare.
Alice & Invitations 3
Rule 46. Never use
the phrases, “What-
d-ye call it,” “Thing-
ummy,” “What’s his
name,” or any such
substitutes for
a proper name or
place. If you cannot
recall the names
you wish to use, it is
better not to tell the
story or incident
connected with
them. No lady of high
breeding will ever use
these substitutes in
conversation.
Rule 43. In writing an invitation for a small party, it is kind, as well as polite, to specify the number of guests invited, that your friends may dress to suit the occasion. To be either too much, or too little dressed at such times is embarrassing.
Rule 44. For large parties, the usual formula is: ‘Miss S---‘s compliments to Miss G---‘s
company, on Thursday
evening next, at 8 o’clock,
to meet the members of
the musical club, to which
Miss S--- belongs;’ or ‘Miss
S--- expects a few friends,
on Monday evening next,
at 8 o’clock, to take part
in some dramatic readings,
and would be happy
to have Miss G---
join the party.’
Rule 45. It requires
much skill and tact
to make a part for
conversation only,
go off pleasantly.
You must invite only
such guests as will
mutually please, and
you must be careful
about introductions.
T he table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it.
Rule 41. It is best to send out your invitations y your own servant, or one hired for that
purpose especially. It is ill-bred to send invitations either by the dispatch, or through
the post-office; and besides being discourteous, you risk offending your friends, as these
modes of delivery are proverbially uncertain.
Rule 40. Never refuse
a request or invitation
in order to be urged,
and accept afterwards.
Rule 42. Always
date your note of
invitation, and put
your address in one
corner.
Rule 47. Invitations to
receptions and teas differ
from invitations to balls in that
the cards on which they are
engraved are usually
somewhat smaller, the words
“At Home” with capital letters
are changed to “will be
at home” with small letters
and the time is not set at the
hour.
Y
Alice & Appearances 4Alice & Appearances 5
He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
“You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with some severity: “ It’s very rude.”
Rule 49. Avoid carefully any allusion to the age or personal defects of your companion, or
anyone who may be in the room, and be very careful in your language when speaking of a
stranger to another person.
Rule 50. I have heard a lady inquire of a gentleman, “who that frightful girl in blue could
be,” and receive the
infomation that the lady
in question was the
gentleman’s own sister.
Rule 51. Never
criticize a companion’s
dress, or indeed make
any remark whatever
upon it. If a near friend,
you may, if sincere,
admire any ar ticle,
but with a mere
acquaintance let it pass
unnoticed. If, however,
any accident has
happened to the dress,
of which she is ignorant,
tell her of it, and assist
her in repairing the
mischief.
Rule 52. Never,
when advancing an
opinion, assert positively
that a thing “is so”, but
give your opinion as an
opinion. Say, “I think this is so,” or these are my views,” but
remember that your companion may be better informed
upon the subject under discussion, or, where it is a mere
matter of taste or feeling, do not expect that all the world
will feel exactly as you do.
Rule 53. Married ladies
often wear a cap in the
morning, and lately,
young girls have adopted
the fashion. It is much
better to let the hair
be perfectly smooth,
requiring no cap,
which is often
worn to conceal
the lazy, slovenly
arrangement of the
hair. A few moments
given to making the
hair smooth and
presentable without
any covering, will not
be wasted.
Rule 154. Appear
unconcerned as to dress.
Dress is at all times
a frivolous distinction, and
excessive solicitude about it
often destroys its own aim.
Rule 155. Style your
hair with care, every
gentlewoman should be
able to style and dress her
own hair, in the absence of
lady’s maid.
Rule 156. Too
much attention to
one’s hair, as to all
aspects, is, of course,
not compatible
proper dignity.
our hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter.
Rule 48. Many
persons will, for the
sake of appearing witty
or smart, wound the
feelings of another
deeply; avoid this; it is
not only ill-bred, but
cruel.
Alice & Riddles 6
“Come we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles –I believe I can guess that,” she added aloud.
“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said the March Hare.
“Exactly so,” said Alice.
“Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.
“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least–¬at least I mean what I say–that’s the same thing, you know.”
“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “Why, you might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!”
“You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!”
Alice & Riddles 7
“ You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, which seemed to be talking in its sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same
thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!”
“It is the same thing with you,” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn’t much.
W
Rule 157. You must originate, and you must sympathize; you must
possess at the time the habit of communicating and listening attentively.
People should not talk to please themselves, but those who hear them.
Rule 158. Never
question the veracity of
any statement made in
general conversation.
If you are certain
a statement is false, and it
is injurious to another
person, who may be absent,
you may quietly and
courteously inform the
speaker that he is mistaken,
but if the falsehood is of
no consequence, let it pass.
Rule 159. If you
are so unfortunate
as to converse with
one who uses such
phrases, never by
word, look, or sign,
show that you
understand any
meaning beyond
the plain, outspoken
language. If you really
differ in your own tastes, do not be too ready to
show your superior judgment or information. Avoid
argument; it is not conversation, and frequently leads
to ill feeling. If you are unfortunately drawn into an
argument, keep your temper under perfect control.
Rule 162. Avoid, at all
times, mentioning subjects
or incidents that can
in any way disgust your
hearers. Many persons will
enter into the details of
sicknesses which should be
mentioned only when
absolutely necessary,
or describe the most
revolting scenes before
a room full of people,
or even at a table.
Rule 163. Be careful
always speak in a distinct,
clear voice; at the same
time avoid talking too
loudly, there is a happy
medium between mumbling
and screaming. Strive to
attain it.
Rule 164. Try to
do and say those
things only which
will be agreeable to
others.
Rule 165. People
who talk too easily
are apt to talk too
much, and at times
imprudently, and
those with vivid
imagination are often
unreliable in their
statements.
hy is a raven like a writing desk?”
Rule 160. Overlook the
deficiencies of others
when conversing with
them, as they may be the
results of ignorance, and
impossible to correct.
I cannot too severely
censure the habit of using
sentences which admit
of a double meaning. It
is not only ill-bred, but
indelicate, and no person
of true refinement will
ever do it.
Rule 161. If a
statement appears
monstrous, but you
do not know that
it is false, listen, but
do not question
its veracity. It may
be true, though
it strikes you as
improbable.
Alice considered a little, and then said, “The fourth.”
“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “I told you butter wouldnt suit the works!” he added, looking angrily at the March Hare.
“It was the best butter,” the March Hare meekly replied.
“Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,” the Hatter grumbled: “you shouldnt have put it in with the breadknife.”
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, “It was the best butter, you know.”
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. “What a funny watch!” she remarked. “It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!”
Alice & Precision 8Alice & Precision 9
“Why should it?” muttered the Hatter. “Does your watch tell you what year it is?”
“Of course not,” Alice replied very readily:“but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long time altogether.”
“Which is just the case with mine,” said the Hatter.
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s remark seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. “I don’t quite understand you,” she said, as politely as she could.
“The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, “Of course,
of course: just what I was going to remark myself.”
“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
“No, I give it up,” Alice replied. “What’s the answer?”
“I havent the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.
“Nor I,” said the March Hare.
Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better with the time,” she said, “than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers.”
“If you knew Time as well as I do,” said the Hatter, “you wouldnt talk about wasting it. Its him.”
Rule 66. In the morning, see that the fires in your rooms are in good order ; and in the draw-
ing-room, it is best to have it so arranged that the heat can be lessened towards evening, as the
crowd, and dancing, will make it excessively uncomfortable if the rooms are too warm.
Rule 295. If you are
obliged to leave the
company at an earlier hour
than the other guests, say
so to your hostess in a low
tone, when you have an
opportunity, and then stay
a short time I the room,
and slip out unperceived.
By a formal leave-taking,
you may lead others to
suppose the hour later
than it is in reality, and thus
deprive your hostess of
other guests, who, but for
your example, would have
remained longer.
Rule 296. If you
meet friends in the
lady’s-room, do not
stop there to chat; you keep your escort
waiting, and your friends will join you in the
parlor a few moments later. By delaying, to
converse too long with your hostess, you
may prevent her speaking to others who
have arrived later than yourself. As the time
just before dinner is
very apt to be
tiresome, you should
bring forward all the
armor against stupidity
that you possess.
Display upon tables
arranged
conveniently about
the room, curiosities,
handsome books,
photographs,
engravings, stereo-
scopes, medallions,
any works of ar t you
ay own, and have
the ottomans, sofas,
and chairs so placed
that your guests can
move easily about
the room, or rooms.
Rule 297. When tea
is served every afternoon
at precisely five o’clock,
whether or not there are
visitors, the servant should
place a small, low table be-
fore the lady of the house,
and lay over it with a pretty
white cloth.
Rule 298. If you meet
friends in the lady’s-room,
do not stop there to chat;
you keep your escort
waiting, and your friends
will join you in the parlor
a few moments later. By
delaying, to converse too
long with your hostess, you
may prevent her speaking
to others who have arrived
later than yourself. As the
time just before dinner is
very apt to be tiresome,
you should bring forward
all the armor against
stupidity that you possess.
Display upon tables
arranged conveniently
about the room, curiosities,
handsome books,
photographs, engravings,
stereoscopes, medallions,
any works of art you say
own, and have the
ottomans, sofas, and chairs
so placed that your guests
can move easily about the
room, or rooms.
hat day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
WRule 294. Punc-
tuality is a mark of
politeness, if your
invitation states the
hour at which your
hostess will be ready
to welcome you. Do not be more than half an hour later than the time named, but if unavoidably
detained, make no apology when you meet your hostess; it will be in bad taste to speak of your
want of punctuality.
Alice & Parties 10Alice & Parties 11
“How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.
“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he wont do a thing I ask! Its always six oclock now.”
A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?” she asked.
“Yes, thats it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: “its always tea-time, and weve no time to wash the things between whiles.”
“Then you keep moving around, I suppose?” said Alice.
“Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.”
Rule 299. Two dressing-rooms must be ready; one for the ladies, and the other for the
gentlemen. Have both these room comfortably heated, and well lighted. Nothing can be more
disagreeable than cold, ill-lighted rooms to dress in, particularly if your guests come in half-
frozen by the cold of
a winter’s night, or still
worse, damp from a stormy
one.
Rule 300. Do
not pour coffee or
tea from your cup
into your saucer,
and do not blow
either these or
soup. Wait until
they cool. Use
the butter-knife,
salt-spoon, and
sugar-tongs as
scrupulously when
alone, as if a room
full of people were
watching you.
Rule 301. The
main point in the
arrangement of the
table itself, is to
secure beauty, without interfering with conversation. The table cover
and napkins must be of snowy damask, the glass clear as crystal, and
taste must preside over each detail. Let nothing high be placed on the
table, that will effectually separate the guests from each other.
Rule 302. Never pass your
plate with the knife or fork
upon it, and when you pass
your cup, put the spoon in the
saucer.
Rule 303. At a formal tea,
the tea table is exactly like
that at a wedding reception,
in that it is a large table set as
a buffet and is always in charge
of the caterer’s men, or the
hostess’ own butler or waitress and assistant.
Rule 304. The menu is limited. Only tea, boullion,
chocolate, bread, and cakes are served. There can be all sorts
of sandwiches, hot biscuits, crumpets, muffins, sliced cakes
and little cakes in every variety that a cook or caterer can
devise.
Rule 305. Your tea table
should be 24-26 inches high.
Rule 306. The hostess herself
“makes” the tea and pours it.
Rule 307. If the cake
is very soft and sticky, or
filled with cream, small
forks must be laid on the
tea table. If jam is to be
eaten on toast or bread,
there must be butter
knives to spread it with.
Rule 308. The china
should be thin and of the
same general kind, though
not necessarily of the same
pattern. The table should not
be overcrowded and if there
is not ample room for
sandwich trays these should
be brought in separately.
There should be sugar–
preferably block sugar with
tongs, a pitcher of cream,
slices of lemon, mint leaves
and cloves.
Rule 309. One
teaspoonful for each person
and one for the pot. The pot
should first be rinsed with
hot water, then the tea put
in, and upon it should be
poured enough water, actual-
ly boiling, to cover the leaves.
This decoction should stand
for five minutes; then fill up
the pot with more boiling
water and pour immediately.
W ell Id hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen bawled out ‘Hes murdering the time! Off with his head!’”
Alice & Details 12
ake some more tea,” said the March Hare to Alice, very earnestly.
“I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone: “so I can’t take more.”
“You mean you cant take less,” said the Hatter: “its very easy to take more than nothing.”
“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.
“Whos making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked triumphantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter…
“I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter: “lets all move one place on.”
He moved as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice & Details 13
Rule 310. Do not begin to eat until others at
the table are ready to commence too.
Rule 311. There should be, first, a handsome centre piece, and
this may be of glass, silver, or china, and not too high or large, and
must be elegant as a work
of ar t, or it is better omitted
altogether. Place before each
guest, the plate, knife, fork,
spoon, four wine-glasses of
various sizes, the goblet for
water, napkin, small salt cellar,
salt spoon, and roll of bread.
If you eat dessert in the
same room that you dine in,
it should be placed upon the
table (with the exception
of the ices) before the guests
are seated, and this comes
after the pastry has been
discussed.
Rule 312. To see
a hostess fidgeting,
constantly going in
and out, argues ill for
her tact in arranging
the house for
company.
Rule 313. Even
when eating entirely
alone, observe these little details, thus making the most
finished and elegant manners perfectly familiar, and the
avoiding the stiff, awkward air you will wear if you keep
your politeness only for company, when you will be
constantly apprehensive of doing wrong.
T
Rule 314. If you are yourself at the side of the table,
pass the bread, butter, etc., to the lady at the head, when
you see that she has sent the cups from the waiter before
her, to those seated at the table.
Rule 315. If you have a visitor, pass the cup with the tea or coffee
alone in it, and hand the cup with the sugar bowl and cream pitcher, that
these may be added in the
quantity preferred.
Rule 315. At break-
fast or tea, if your
seat is at the head of
the table, you must,
before taking
anything upon your
own plate, fill a cup
for each one of the
family, and pass them
round, being careful
to suit each one in
the preparation of
the cup, that none
may return to you
for more tea, water,
sugar, or milk.
Rule 316. Sit easily in
your chair, neither too near
the table, nor too far from
it, and avoid such tricks
as putting your arms on
the table, leaning back lazily
in your chair, or playing with
your knife, for, or spoon.
Rule 317. There should be flowers on the table, and dishes
containing bread and butter cut as thin as shaving. Cake and strawberries are always per-
missible. For the pouring of tea and chocolate there should always be a lady, who, like the
hostess, should wear a gown closed to the throat.
nce upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse began in a great hurry; “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie;
and they lived at the bottom of a well–“
“What did they live on?” said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking.
“ They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.
“They couldn’t have done that, you know,” Alice gently remarked. “They’d have been ill.”
“ So they were,” said the Dormouse; “very ill.”
Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much: so shewent on: “But why did they live at the bottom of a well?”
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, “ It was a treacle-well.”
“There’s no such thing!” Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went “Sh! Sh!” and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, “If you can’t be
Alice & Politeness 14Alice & Politeness 15
civil, you’d better finish the story for yourself.”
“No, please go on!” Alice said very humbly. “I won’t interrupt you again. I dare say there may be one.”
“ One, indeed!” said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on.
“ And so these three little sisters–they were learning
to draw, you know–“
“What did they draw?” said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
“ Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: “But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?”
“You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well–eh, stupid?”
“But they were in the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.
O
Rule 318. Politeness begets politeness.
Rule 638. Remember, from the moment your first guest enters the parlor, you must forget
yourself entirely to make the evening pleasant for others.
Rule 639. If your companion relates an incident or tells a story,
be very careful not to interrupt her by questions, even if you do not
clearly understand
her; wait until she has
finished her relation,
and then ask any
questions you may
desire. There is
nothing more
annoying than to be
interrupted. No
truly polite lady ever
breaks in upon
a conversation or
interrupts another
speaker.
Rule 640. Let it never
be forgotten, that genuine
politeness is a great fosterer
of family; It allays accidental
irritation, by preventing harsh
retorts and rude
contradictions; it softens the
boisterous, stimulates the
indolent, suppresses
selfishness, and by forming
a habit of consideration for
others, harmonizes the whole.
Rule 641. If you wish to be a well-bred lady, you must
carry your good manners everywhere with you. It is not
a thing that can be laid aside and put on at pleasure.
Rule 642. To converse with an entirely uneducated person upon
literature, interlacing your remarks with quotations, is ill-bred. It places
them in an awkward situation, and does not add to your popularity.
Rule 643. Avoid argument; it is not conversation,
and frequently leads to ill feeling.
Alice & Politeness 16Alice & Politeness 17
“Of course they were,” said the Dormouse: “well
in.”
The answer so confused poor Alice that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.
“…did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of
a muchness!”
“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think–”
“ T hen you shouldnt talk,” said the Hatter.
Alice & Enjoyment 18
his piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off: the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or
twice, half hoping they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
“ At any rate I’ll never go there again!” said Alice, as she picked her way through the wood. “ It’s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!”
Alice & Enjoyment 19
TRule 644. Your enjoyment of a party depends far less on what you find there, than on what
you carry with you.
Rule 645. If you are obliged to leave the company at an earlier hour
than the other guests, say so to your hostess in a low tone, when you
have an opportunity, and then stay a short time I the room, and slip
out unperceived. By
a formal leave-
taking, you may lead
others to suppose
the hour later than
it is in reality, and
thus deprive your
hostess of other
guests, who, but
for your example,
would have
remained longer.
Rule 646. Let it never be forgotten, that genuine politeness
is a great fosterer of family; It allays accidental irritation, by
preventing harsh retorts and rude contradictions; it softens
the boisaterous, stimulates the indolent, suppresses
selfishness, and by forming a habit of consideration for
others, harmonizes the whole. Rule 647. By endeavoring to acquire
the habit of politeness, it will soon
become familiar, and sit on you with
ease, if not with elegance.
Citations 20
“Alice in Wonderland Collage.” Disney. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013.
Carroll, Lewis. Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland. N.p., 1865. Print.
A colored version of Tenniel’s White Rabbit engraving. Blogspot. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://sophiegrenham.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-top-ten-favorite-bunnies.html>.
Cox, Daniel James. Victorian Morena. 2011. Digital painting. Used with permission.
Eichler, Lillian. Book of Etiquette. N.p.: n.p., 1923. Print.
Hartley, Florence. The Ladies Book of Etiquette. N.p., 1879. Print.
Holt, Emily, comp. Encyclopaedia of Etiquette. N.p.: n.p., 1921. Print.
“Kathryn Beaumont.” Flick River. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2013. <http://www.flickriver.com/photos/brian_sibley/3664762486/>.“Leg-O-Mutton Sleeves.” Blogspot. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://victorian-vignettes.blogspot.com/2011/01/lady-with-leg-o-mutton-sleeves.html>.
Newton, Ian. Alice. 2013. Digital illustration. 4 Illustrations, used on opening spread, table of contents, page 4 and page 22-23.
Citations 21
Post, Emily, comp. Etiquette. N.p.: n.p., 1922. Print.
Queen Victoria Family Picnic. N.d. Wordpress. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://delagoabayword.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/a-princesa-patricia-os-duques-de-connaught-e-lourenco-marques/>.
Reljander, Oscar. Lewis Carroll. 1855. Photograph.
Ross, Josephine. Jane Austen’s Guide to Good Manners. N.p.: n.p., 2006. Print.
Sherwood, Mrs. John. Manners & Social Usages. N.p.: n.p., 1903. Print.
A sketch for an Alice in Wonderland themed Christmas ornament. Flickr. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://www.flickr.com/photos/68105287@N03/7941244642/>.
Tenniel, John. Alice in Wonderland. 1887. Wood Engravings. Used on page 7, and 16-17.
Various illustrations. N.d. Sketches and engravings. Free Library of Philadelphia, Philadelphia. Scanned images from the Free Library of Philadelphia’s Print & Picture Department. Used on pages 1, 10-11, and 20-21.
Courtesies 22Courtesies 23
Rule 1. Projects never get finished without the support of friends or family,
who believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself.
Rule 2. You should always
extend a huge hand of
appreciation to your fantastic
illustrator, Ian Newton, and
your best friend, Andre Scott,
for lending a hand when the
going gets rough.
Rule 3. You should also extend
gratitude to your family, who
allowed you to be that crazy kid who
wanted to go to ar t school several
hundred miles away from home.
Rule 6. The final and most important rule in this book is to make sure to
thank the people who got you where you are. Without the expert tutelage of
Chris Myers, Sharon Lefevre, Sara McDonald, and Nancy Meyer, this project
would have never seen the light of day. Thank you.
Rule 4. And for being your other family, make sure to thank your friends who saved your
sanity more times than you can count.
Rule 5. You should end
every piece of work with
a colophon, whose general
format is the following:
I, Jennifer Kaplan,
have completed
this piece in partial
fulfilment of the
requirements
of GDES 402 01:
Design Studio:
Sr. Project, in the
Graphic Design
Department of
UArts, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania in the
Spring Semester
of 2013.