We’re All Mad Here

We’re All Mad Here

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

The Ladies Book of Etiquette by Florence Hartley

Book of E

tiquette b

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Man

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Social Usages b

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Encyclopaedia of Etiquette by Emily Holt

Etiquette by Emily Post

Jan

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Gu

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Man

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Excerpts from

We’re All Mad HereWe’re All Mad Here

Alice and Introductions 1

Alice and Manners 3

Alice and Parties 13

Alice and Riddles 9

Alice and Politeness 17

Alice and Appearance 7

Alice and Invitations 5

Alice and Details 15

Alice and Precision 11

Alice and Enjoyment 19

Table of Contents

Alice and Introductions 1

Alice and Manners 3

Alice and Parties 13

Alice and Riddles 9

Alice and Politeness 17

Alice and Appearance 7

Alice and Invitations 5

Alice and Details 15

Alice and Precision 11

Alice and Enjoyment 19

Table of Contents

L e w i s C a r r o l l

Alice & Introductions

tiquette: creating the thin line between order and disorder.

A simple slip of the tongue

into uncertain territory.

chaos was kept on a tight leash

and behind strict bars.

Entire realms of society revolved,

and were dependent,

upon an order so extreme

they wrote entire books on it.

These books were

almost

as cherished as the Bible.

and nearly as important to any devout Victorian.

They contained the petty rules for living

that would become the definition

of their lifestyle.

A lifestyle so unique

and severe

that many an author had something to say,

Dodgson,

also known as Lewis Carroll,

is the brilliant writer of the well-known

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,

and subsequently Through the Looking Glass.

The severity of his lifestyle

wasn’t lost on him,

and he used Alice as the gateway

to parody Victorian times,

to our eternal delight.

Alice & Introductions

e can quickly descend

In the 1800’s,

though perhaps none as much as Charles Dodgson.

noun ’e-ti-ket

the conduct or procedure

required by good

breeding or prescribed by

authority to be

observed in

social or ofiicial life

Alice & EtiquetteAlice & Etiquette

Alice & Manners

here was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and

the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head.

Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,” thought Alice; “only, as it’s asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind.”

T

Alice & Manners 1

Rule 39. Avoid making any noise in

eating, even if each meal is eaten in

solitary state. It is a disgusting habit, and

one not easily cured if once contracted,

to make any noise with the lips

when eating.

Rule 34. In the dining-room, unless it will accommodate all your guests at once, have a silk cord so fastened that, when the room is full, it can be drawn across the door-way those following the guests already in the room, will then return to the parlor, and wait their turn. A still better way, is to set the supper table twice, inviting the married and elderly people to go into the first table, and then, after it is ready for the second time, let the young folks go up.

Rule 35. At dinner,

hold in your left hand

a piece of bread, and

raise your meat or

vegetables with the

fork, holding the bread

to prevent the pieces

slipping from the plate.

Rule 36. Never put

large pieces of food into

your mouth. Use your

fork, or spoon, never your

knife, to put food into your

mouth.

Rule 37. Never

lean forward upon

a table. Let neither

hands nor arms rest there heavily.

Rule 38. Sit easily in your chair, neither too near the table,

nor too far from it, and avoid such tricks as putting your

arms on the table, leaning back lazily in your chair, or playing

with your knife, fork, or spoon.

“

Alice & Invitations 2

“No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice coming.

“ There’s plenty of room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.

“ Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

Alice looked all around the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. “ I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.

“ There isn’t any,” said the March Hare.

“ Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily.

“ It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,” said the March Hare.

Alice & Invitations 3

Rule 46. Never use

the phrases, “What-

d-ye call it,” “Thing-

ummy,” “What’s his

name,” or any such

substitutes for

a proper name or

place. If you cannot

recall the names

you wish to use, it is

better not to tell the

story or incident

connected with

them. No lady of high

breeding will ever use

these substitutes in

conversation.

Rule 43. In writing an invitation for a small party, it is kind, as well as polite, to specify the number of guests invited, that your friends may dress to suit the occasion. To be either too much, or too little dressed at such times is embarrassing.

Rule 44. For large parties, the usual formula is: ‘Miss S---‘s compliments to Miss G---‘s

company, on Thursday

evening next, at 8 o’clock,

to meet the members of

the musical club, to which

Miss S--- belongs;’ or ‘Miss

S--- expects a few friends,

on Monday evening next,

at 8 o’clock, to take part

in some dramatic readings,

and would be happy

to have Miss G---

join the party.’

Rule 45. It requires

much skill and tact

to make a part for

conversation only,

go off pleasantly.

You must invite only

such guests as will

mutually please, and

you must be careful

about introductions.

T he table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it.

Rule 41. It is best to send out your invitations y your own servant, or one hired for that

purpose especially. It is ill-bred to send invitations either by the dispatch, or through

the post-office; and besides being discourteous, you risk offending your friends, as these

modes of delivery are proverbially uncertain.

Rule 40. Never refuse

a request or invitation

in order to be urged,

and accept afterwards.

Rule 42. Always

date your note of

invitation, and put

your address in one

corner.

Rule 47. Invitations to

receptions and teas differ

from invitations to balls in that

the cards on which they are

engraved are usually

somewhat smaller, the words

“At Home” with capital letters

are changed to “will be

at home” with small letters

and the time is not set at the

hour.

Y

Alice & Appearances 4Alice & Appearances 5

He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.

“You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with some severity: “ It’s very rude.”

Rule 49. Avoid carefully any allusion to the age or personal defects of your companion, or

anyone who may be in the room, and be very careful in your language when speaking of a

stranger to another person.

Rule 50. I have heard a lady inquire of a gentleman, “who that frightful girl in blue could

be,” and receive the

infomation that the lady

in question was the

gentleman’s own sister.

Rule 51. Never

criticize a companion’s

dress, or indeed make

any remark whatever

upon it. If a near friend,

you may, if sincere,

admire any ar ticle,

but with a mere

acquaintance let it pass

unnoticed. If, however,

any accident has

happened to the dress,

of which she is ignorant,

tell her of it, and assist

her in repairing the

mischief.

Rule 52. Never,

when advancing an

opinion, assert positively

that a thing “is so”, but

give your opinion as an

opinion. Say, “I think this is so,” or these are my views,” but

remember that your companion may be better informed

upon the subject under discussion, or, where it is a mere

matter of taste or feeling, do not expect that all the world

will feel exactly as you do.

Rule 53. Married ladies

often wear a cap in the

morning, and lately,

young girls have adopted

the fashion. It is much

better to let the hair

be perfectly smooth,

requiring no cap,

which is often

worn to conceal

the lazy, slovenly

arrangement of the

hair. A few moments

given to making the

hair smooth and

presentable without

any covering, will not

be wasted.

Rule 154. Appear

unconcerned as to dress.

Dress is at all times

a frivolous distinction, and

excessive solicitude about it

often destroys its own aim.

Rule 155. Style your

hair with care, every

gentlewoman should be

able to style and dress her

own hair, in the absence of

lady’s maid.

Rule 156. Too

much attention to

one’s hair, as to all

aspects, is, of course,

not compatible

proper dignity.

our hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter.

Rule 48. Many

persons will, for the

sake of appearing witty

or smart, wound the

feelings of another

deeply; avoid this; it is

not only ill-bred, but

cruel.

Alice & Riddles 6

“Come we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles –I believe I can guess that,” she added aloud.

“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said the March Hare.

“Exactly so,” said Alice.

“Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.

“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least–¬at least I mean what I say–that’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “Why, you might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!”

“You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!”

Alice & Riddles 7

“ You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, which seemed to be talking in its sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same

thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!”

“It is the same thing with you,” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn’t much.

W

Rule 157. You must originate, and you must sympathize; you must

possess at the time the habit of communicating and listening attentively.

People should not talk to please themselves, but those who hear them.

Rule 158. Never

question the veracity of

any statement made in

general conversation.

If you are certain

a statement is false, and it

is injurious to another

person, who may be absent,

you may quietly and

courteously inform the

speaker that he is mistaken,

but if the falsehood is of

no consequence, let it pass.

Rule 159. If you

are so unfortunate

as to converse with

one who uses such

phrases, never by

word, look, or sign,

show that you

understand any

meaning beyond

the plain, outspoken

language. If you really

differ in your own tastes, do not be too ready to

show your superior judgment or information. Avoid

argument; it is not conversation, and frequently leads

to ill feeling. If you are unfortunately drawn into an

argument, keep your temper under perfect control.

Rule 162. Avoid, at all

times, mentioning subjects

or incidents that can

in any way disgust your

hearers. Many persons will

enter into the details of

sicknesses which should be

mentioned only when

absolutely necessary,

or describe the most

revolting scenes before

a room full of people,

or even at a table.

Rule 163. Be careful

always speak in a distinct,

clear voice; at the same

time avoid talking too

loudly, there is a happy

medium between mumbling

and screaming. Strive to

attain it.

Rule 164. Try to

do and say those

things only which

will be agreeable to

others.

Rule 165. People

who talk too easily

are apt to talk too

much, and at times

imprudently, and

those with vivid

imagination are often

unreliable in their

statements.

hy is a raven like a writing desk?”

Rule 160. Overlook the

deficiencies of others

when conversing with

them, as they may be the

results of ignorance, and

impossible to correct.

I cannot too severely

censure the habit of using

sentences which admit

of a double meaning. It

is not only ill-bred, but

indelicate, and no person

of true refinement will

ever do it.

Rule 161. If a

statement appears

monstrous, but you

do not know that

it is false, listen, but

do not question

its veracity. It may

be true, though

it strikes you as

improbable.

Alice considered a little, and then said, “The fourth.”

“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “I told you butter wouldnt suit the works!” he added, looking angrily at the March Hare.

“It was the best butter,” the March Hare meekly replied.

“Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,” the Hatter grumbled: “you shouldnt have put it in with the breadknife.”

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, “It was the best butter, you know.”

Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. “What a funny watch!” she remarked. “It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!”

Alice & Precision 8Alice & Precision 9

“Why should it?” muttered the Hatter. “Does your watch tell you what year it is?”

“Of course not,” Alice replied very readily:“but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long time altogether.”

“Which is just the case with mine,” said the Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s remark seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. “I don’t quite understand you,” she said, as politely as she could.

“The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, “Of course,

of course: just what I was going to remark myself.”

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

“No, I give it up,” Alice replied. “What’s the answer?”

“I havent the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.

“Nor I,” said the March Hare.

Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better with the time,” she said, “than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers.”

“If you knew Time as well as I do,” said the Hatter, “you wouldnt talk about wasting it. Its him.”

Rule 66. In the morning, see that the fires in your rooms are in good order ; and in the draw-

ing-room, it is best to have it so arranged that the heat can be lessened towards evening, as the

crowd, and dancing, will make it excessively uncomfortable if the rooms are too warm.

Rule 295. If you are

obliged to leave the

company at an earlier hour

than the other guests, say

so to your hostess in a low

tone, when you have an

opportunity, and then stay

a short time I the room,

and slip out unperceived.

By a formal leave-taking,

you may lead others to

suppose the hour later

than it is in reality, and thus

deprive your hostess of

other guests, who, but for

your example, would have

remained longer.

Rule 296. If you

meet friends in the

lady’s-room, do not

stop there to chat; you keep your escort

waiting, and your friends will join you in the

parlor a few moments later. By delaying, to

converse too long with your hostess, you

may prevent her speaking to others who

have arrived later than yourself. As the time

just before dinner is

very apt to be

tiresome, you should

bring forward all the

armor against stupidity

that you possess.

Display upon tables

arranged

conveniently about

the room, curiosities,

handsome books,

photographs,

engravings, stereo-

scopes, medallions,

any works of ar t you

ay own, and have

the ottomans, sofas,

and chairs so placed

that your guests can

move easily about

the room, or rooms.

Rule 297. When tea

is served every afternoon

at precisely five o’clock,

whether or not there are

visitors, the servant should

place a small, low table be-

fore the lady of the house,

and lay over it with a pretty

white cloth.

Rule 298. If you meet

friends in the lady’s-room,

do not stop there to chat;

you keep your escort

waiting, and your friends

will join you in the parlor

a few moments later. By

delaying, to converse too

long with your hostess, you

may prevent her speaking

to others who have arrived

later than yourself. As the

time just before dinner is

very apt to be tiresome,

you should bring forward

all the armor against

stupidity that you possess.

Display upon tables

arranged conveniently

about the room, curiosities,

handsome books,

photographs, engravings,

stereoscopes, medallions,

any works of art you say

own, and have the

ottomans, sofas, and chairs

so placed that your guests

can move easily about the

room, or rooms.

hat day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

WRule 294. Punc-

tuality is a mark of

politeness, if your

invitation states the

hour at which your

hostess will be ready

to welcome you. Do not be more than half an hour later than the time named, but if unavoidably

detained, make no apology when you meet your hostess; it will be in bad taste to speak of your

want of punctuality.

Alice & Parties 10Alice & Parties 11

“How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he wont do a thing I ask! Its always six oclock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?” she asked.

“Yes, thats it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: “its always tea-time, and weve no time to wash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving around, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.”

Rule 299. Two dressing-rooms must be ready; one for the ladies, and the other for the

gentlemen. Have both these room comfortably heated, and well lighted. Nothing can be more

disagreeable than cold, ill-lighted rooms to dress in, particularly if your guests come in half-

frozen by the cold of

a winter’s night, or still

worse, damp from a stormy

one.

Rule 300. Do

not pour coffee or

tea from your cup

into your saucer,

and do not blow

either these or

soup. Wait until

they cool. Use

the butter-knife,

salt-spoon, and

sugar-tongs as

scrupulously when

alone, as if a room

full of people were

watching you.

Rule 301. The

main point in the

arrangement of the

table itself, is to

secure beauty, without interfering with conversation. The table cover

and napkins must be of snowy damask, the glass clear as crystal, and

taste must preside over each detail. Let nothing high be placed on the

table, that will effectually separate the guests from each other.

Rule 302. Never pass your

plate with the knife or fork

upon it, and when you pass

your cup, put the spoon in the

saucer.

Rule 303. At a formal tea,

the tea table is exactly like

that at a wedding reception,

in that it is a large table set as

a buffet and is always in charge

of the caterer’s men, or the

hostess’ own butler or waitress and assistant.

Rule 304. The menu is limited. Only tea, boullion,

chocolate, bread, and cakes are served. There can be all sorts

of sandwiches, hot biscuits, crumpets, muffins, sliced cakes

and little cakes in every variety that a cook or caterer can

devise.

Rule 305. Your tea table

should be 24-26 inches high.

Rule 306. The hostess herself

“makes” the tea and pours it.

Rule 307. If the cake

is very soft and sticky, or

filled with cream, small

forks must be laid on the

tea table. If jam is to be

eaten on toast or bread,

there must be butter

knives to spread it with.

Rule 308. The china

should be thin and of the

same general kind, though

not necessarily of the same

pattern. The table should not

be overcrowded and if there

is not ample room for

sandwich trays these should

be brought in separately.

There should be sugar–

preferably block sugar with

tongs, a pitcher of cream,

slices of lemon, mint leaves

and cloves.

Rule 309. One

teaspoonful for each person

and one for the pot. The pot

should first be rinsed with

hot water, then the tea put

in, and upon it should be

poured enough water, actual-

ly boiling, to cover the leaves.

This decoction should stand

for five minutes; then fill up

the pot with more boiling

water and pour immediately.

W ell Id hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen bawled out ‘Hes murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

Alice & Details 12

ake some more tea,” said the March Hare to Alice, very earnestly.

“I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone: “so I can’t take more.”

“You mean you cant take less,” said the Hatter: “its very easy to take more than nothing.”

“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.

“Whos making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked triumphantly.

Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter…

“I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter: “lets all move one place on.”

He moved as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.

Alice & Details 13

Rule 310. Do not begin to eat until others at

the table are ready to commence too.

Rule 311. There should be, first, a handsome centre piece, and

this may be of glass, silver, or china, and not too high or large, and

must be elegant as a work

of ar t, or it is better omitted

altogether. Place before each

guest, the plate, knife, fork,

spoon, four wine-glasses of

various sizes, the goblet for

water, napkin, small salt cellar,

salt spoon, and roll of bread.

If you eat dessert in the

same room that you dine in,

it should be placed upon the

table (with the exception

of the ices) before the guests

are seated, and this comes

after the pastry has been

discussed.

Rule 312. To see

a hostess fidgeting,

constantly going in

and out, argues ill for

her tact in arranging

the house for

company.

Rule 313. Even

when eating entirely

alone, observe these little details, thus making the most

finished and elegant manners perfectly familiar, and the

avoiding the stiff, awkward air you will wear if you keep

your politeness only for company, when you will be

constantly apprehensive of doing wrong.

T

Rule 314. If you are yourself at the side of the table,

pass the bread, butter, etc., to the lady at the head, when

you see that she has sent the cups from the waiter before

her, to those seated at the table.

Rule 315. If you have a visitor, pass the cup with the tea or coffee

alone in it, and hand the cup with the sugar bowl and cream pitcher, that

these may be added in the

quantity preferred.

Rule 315. At break-

fast or tea, if your

seat is at the head of

the table, you must,

before taking

anything upon your

own plate, fill a cup

for each one of the

family, and pass them

round, being careful

to suit each one in

the preparation of

the cup, that none

may return to you

for more tea, water,

sugar, or milk.

Rule 316. Sit easily in

your chair, neither too near

the table, nor too far from

it, and avoid such tricks

as putting your arms on

the table, leaning back lazily

in your chair, or playing with

your knife, for, or spoon.

Rule 317. There should be flowers on the table, and dishes

containing bread and butter cut as thin as shaving. Cake and strawberries are always per-

missible. For the pouring of tea and chocolate there should always be a lady, who, like the

hostess, should wear a gown closed to the throat.

nce upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse began in a great hurry; “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie;

and they lived at the bottom of a well–“

“What did they live on?” said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking.

“ They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.

“They couldn’t have done that, you know,” Alice gently remarked. “They’d have been ill.”

“ So they were,” said the Dormouse; “very ill.”

Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much: so shewent on: “But why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, “ It was a treacle-well.”

“There’s no such thing!” Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went “Sh! Sh!” and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, “If you can’t be

Alice & Politeness 14Alice & Politeness 15

civil, you’d better finish the story for yourself.”

“No, please go on!” Alice said very humbly. “I won’t interrupt you again. I dare say there may be one.”

“ One, indeed!” said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on.

“ And so these three little sisters–they were learning

to draw, you know–“

“What did they draw?” said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

“ Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: “But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?”

“You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well–eh, stupid?”

“But they were in the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.

O

Rule 318. Politeness begets politeness.

Rule 638. Remember, from the moment your first guest enters the parlor, you must forget

yourself entirely to make the evening pleasant for others.

Rule 639. If your companion relates an incident or tells a story,

be very careful not to interrupt her by questions, even if you do not

clearly understand

her; wait until she has

finished her relation,

and then ask any

questions you may

desire. There is

nothing more

annoying than to be

interrupted. No

truly polite lady ever

breaks in upon

a conversation or

interrupts another

speaker.

Rule 640. Let it never

be forgotten, that genuine

politeness is a great fosterer

of family; It allays accidental

irritation, by preventing harsh

retorts and rude

contradictions; it softens the

boisterous, stimulates the

indolent, suppresses

selfishness, and by forming

a habit of consideration for

others, harmonizes the whole.

Rule 641. If you wish to be a well-bred lady, you must

carry your good manners everywhere with you. It is not

a thing that can be laid aside and put on at pleasure.

Rule 642. To converse with an entirely uneducated person upon

literature, interlacing your remarks with quotations, is ill-bred. It places

them in an awkward situation, and does not add to your popularity.

Rule 643. Avoid argument; it is not conversation,

and frequently leads to ill feeling.

Alice & Politeness 16Alice & Politeness 17

“Of course they were,” said the Dormouse: “well

in.”

The answer so confused poor Alice that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.

“…did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of

a muchness!”

“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think–”

“ T hen you shouldnt talk,” said the Hatter.

Alice & Enjoyment 18

his piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off: the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or

twice, half hoping they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

“ At any rate I’ll never go there again!” said Alice, as she picked her way through the wood. “ It’s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!”

Alice & Enjoyment 19

TRule 644. Your enjoyment of a party depends far less on what you find there, than on what

you carry with you.

Rule 645. If you are obliged to leave the company at an earlier hour

than the other guests, say so to your hostess in a low tone, when you

have an opportunity, and then stay a short time I the room, and slip

out unperceived. By

a formal leave-

taking, you may lead

others to suppose

the hour later than

it is in reality, and

thus deprive your

hostess of other

guests, who, but

for your example,

would have

remained longer.

Rule 646. Let it never be forgotten, that genuine politeness

is a great fosterer of family; It allays accidental irritation, by

preventing harsh retorts and rude contradictions; it softens

the boisaterous, stimulates the indolent, suppresses

selfishness, and by forming a habit of consideration for

others, harmonizes the whole. Rule 647. By endeavoring to acquire

the habit of politeness, it will soon

become familiar, and sit on you with

ease, if not with elegance.

Citations 20

“Alice in Wonderland Collage.” Disney. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013.

Carroll, Lewis. Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland. N.p., 1865. Print.

A colored version of Tenniel’s White Rabbit engraving. Blogspot. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://sophiegrenham.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-top-ten-favorite-bunnies.html>.

Cox, Daniel James. Victorian Morena. 2011. Digital painting. Used with permission.

Eichler, Lillian. Book of Etiquette. N.p.: n.p., 1923. Print.

Hartley, Florence. The Ladies Book of Etiquette. N.p., 1879. Print.

Holt, Emily, comp. Encyclopaedia of Etiquette. N.p.: n.p., 1921. Print.

“Kathryn Beaumont.” Flick River. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2013. <http://www.flickriver.com/photos/brian_sibley/3664762486/>.“Leg-O-Mutton Sleeves.” Blogspot. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://victorian-vignettes.blogspot.com/2011/01/lady-with-leg-o-mutton-sleeves.html>.

Newton, Ian. Alice. 2013. Digital illustration. 4 Illustrations, used on opening spread, table of contents, page 4 and page 22-23.

Citations 21

Post, Emily, comp. Etiquette. N.p.: n.p., 1922. Print.

Queen Victoria Family Picnic. N.d. Wordpress. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://delagoabayword.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/a-princesa-patricia-os-duques-de-connaught-e-lourenco-marques/>.

Reljander, Oscar. Lewis Carroll. 1855. Photograph.

Ross, Josephine. Jane Austen’s Guide to Good Manners. N.p.: n.p., 2006. Print.

Sherwood, Mrs. John. Manners & Social Usages. N.p.: n.p., 1903. Print.

A sketch for an Alice in Wonderland themed Christmas ornament. Flickr. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://www.flickr.com/photos/68105287@N03/7941244642/>.

Tenniel, John. Alice in Wonderland. 1887. Wood Engravings. Used on page 7, and 16-17.

Various illustrations. N.d. Sketches and engravings. Free Library of Philadelphia, Philadelphia. Scanned images from the Free Library of Philadelphia’s Print & Picture Department. Used on pages 1, 10-11, and 20-21.

Courtesies 22Courtesies 23

Rule 1. Projects never get finished without the support of friends or family,

who believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself.

Rule 2. You should always

extend a huge hand of

appreciation to your fantastic

illustrator, Ian Newton, and

your best friend, Andre Scott,

for lending a hand when the

going gets rough.

Rule 3. You should also extend

gratitude to your family, who

allowed you to be that crazy kid who

wanted to go to ar t school several

hundred miles away from home.

Rule 6. The final and most important rule in this book is to make sure to

thank the people who got you where you are. Without the expert tutelage of

Chris Myers, Sharon Lefevre, Sara McDonald, and Nancy Meyer, this project

would have never seen the light of day. Thank you.

Rule 4. And for being your other family, make sure to thank your friends who saved your

sanity more times than you can count.

Rule 5. You should end

every piece of work with

a colophon, whose general

format is the following:

I, Jennifer Kaplan,

have completed

this piece in partial

fulfilment of the

requirements

of GDES 402 01:

Design Studio:

Sr. Project, in the

Graphic Design

Department of

UArts, Philadelphia,

Pennsylvania in the

Spring Semester

of 2013.