MASTHEAD
For the purposes of IB English A
Chief SupervisorsMagdalena JunkielesDanuta GrycaArticle authorsDaria MorajskaWojtek NawrockiAda PuciskaAgata PiekarskaMateusz wioPiotr ReszelAlex DbskaKarolina KuakowskaMicha JeznachEwa KiliskaEditorial boardKlara BirchleyMicha JeznachDunin KarwickiEwa KiliskaMarta KudelskaAleksandra MudelAgata Piekarska
Dilly MailCOPERNICUS HIGH SCHOOL PUBLICATIONS LTD.Letter from
the editorial boardKnown as the day when Susan Boyle and Gmail were
born, the first of April is celebrated around the world in variety
of ways. Australia, Luxembourg and Russia hold Edible Book
Festival, but in the countries where books have more educational
than nutritious values, the main holiday is called April Fools Day.
As we all know its the day when serious activities should be
avoided and making jokes and pranks is highly advisable.On
Huntigowk Day, as Scots used to call it, people play different
games to amuse or annoy their relatives and relatively close
strangers. In France, Belgium, Canada and all other countries where
French is spoken, people play April fish game, which includes
attempting to attach a paper fish to the victim's back without
being noticed. In 1683 Polish alliance with Leopold I was backdated
to 31st of March, because of the strong conviction that it wont be
taken seriously. Distinction between fact or fiction has always
been problematic on April Fools Day.Can you tell if the facts
around you are real or fake?More TOK? (Not) OK!First year IB
students of famous Copernicus High School are about to receive an
additional hour of Theory of Knowledge classes per week.
Up until now, the first year IB class of Copernicus High School has
only had 2 hours of TOK teaching a week. However, this is about to
change abruptly, much to many students' dismay. The school's
headmistress declared that the class is in a dire need of
additional TOK classes. 'There's no way they will write a
satisfying TOK essay next year unless something is changed' she
says. 'They need special treatment'.Howbeit, the students' response
isn't as enthusiastic. 'Even now we Kant get good Marx in TOK' says
enigmatically El Doonine. 'I feel Freuded, this is not what I pay
my monthly fee for! They left us no Joyce' he adds with
frustration, regretting having invested so much money in the
International Baccalaureate programme. 'It's pathology' replies
concisely El Moosiau, a student known for his penchant for arguing
with TOK teachers.On the other hand, the teachers are much more
keen on the idea. 'TOK is vital for healthy development of the
teenage brain. Even though we have seen reports of students falling
into permanent coma after prolonged exposure to TOK, exceptions are
there to prove the rule', says one of TOK teachers.Students'
efforts to prevent the inevitable are bound to fail. The
headmistress vowed to take extreme measures should anyone attempt
to sabotage her decree. Those include extra hours to do for CAS,
incarceration in the B wing with a bunch of hyperactive 'gimbi' or
permanent ban from playing table tennis at school.Betrayal?!
Well-known and popular John (name changed for the sake of
anonymity) from the IB class was spotted last Friday at Batory High
School with a beautiful blonde young lady. It is not a secret that
Batory has always been Copernicus biggest enemy. What can explain
such behaviour?
We were informed that John had lately had problems with physics.
Maybe he finally realised that the level of his current school is
too high and decided to lower his standards by changing the school?
The only different explanation is a simple date, but does his
girlfriend know about it? It is very sad that the fame that he
acquired after the 'Taming of the Shrew' play made him forget about
his old love...
John we have only one advice for you think your whole life over...A
giant leap for kebab
Two students were admitted to hospital yesterday with serious
injuries after jumping out of the window on the first floor of
Copernicus High School in Warsaw.
Yesterday, during the lunch break, Robert Mieczyk (17) and Adam
Kowalski (17) in a desperate need for food, tried to escape their
school through a window. Their efforts proved futile as landing on
the pavement caused more damage than the students had anticipated.
Shortly after the accident, they were taken to hospital, each with
a broken leg.
'We were really hungry and since everyone knows the cafeteria food
is inedible, we decided to go out for a kebab. It seemed like the
only good option. The janitor didn't allow us to exit the school
through the front entrance so we had to find another way out' said
Robert, explaining their decision to escape through the
window.
The students' fall was immediately noticed by a teacher who was
giving a lecture in a classroom on the ground floor. 'I have never
been so scared before in my life' the teacher admitted. 'Seeing
students fly by your window is not an everyday occurrence'.
This situation could have been avoided if only the school's caterer
provided the school with better food. 'We will certainly pay closer
attention to the quality of the food served in the cafeteria from
now on' promised principal Matejczyk. 'A new catering company was
chosen and next week it will start supplying the school's
cafeteria'.First move towards toilet justiceEver wondered why there
is no toilet paper when it's needed? One of the cleaning ladies of
our school has solved the mystery.The high school second grader K.
was caught red-handed on the second floor this Tuesday. The
cleaning lady was on her usual way around bathrooms, unclogging
sinks and water closets, into which students like to drop
bad-graded tests and sandwiches. As she later confessed, all ofthe
toilets she had visited were paperless that day.Getting onto the
second floor, she heard a weird noise coming from the ladies'
toilet. The thief was already there unreeling the paper in a hurry,
but hearing the steps, he vanished in one of the stalls. He would
probably get away with it ifheremembered to tear the paper away
before locking the door. You don't have to be a detective to follow
such an easy trail. The cleaning lady, who definitely did not
expect to become a school hero inaminute, pretended to leave the
bathroom, but actually prepared an ambush behind the door.This way
the thief got caught and was immediately brought to justice. He
asked not to publish his name for the sake of the school reputation
and, as students, our reporters and editors can understand that.
Butdon't fear, he faced the consequences of such socially harmful
behavior.As far as we know, the toilet thievery has been a problem
for months and our thief is not the only one to blame. The cleaning
lady has already recruited a special squad, which consists of both
teachers and trusted students, to find other criminals among the
school society. Remember, that you can help too!The shrew got
tamedA great show performed by the class 2GOn January 12th at
5:30pm the class 2G gave an amazing performance of a new version of
Shakespeares Taming of the Shrew.The play took a new spin thanks to
Zuzanna Woodkos adjustments in the script, which made the audience
laugh really hard. Premiere night entirely filled the theatre with
people and the show received standing ovations. Rehearsals started
in October, so the preparations for the play took more than 3
months. But it seems hard work pays off because the new Taming of
the Shrew made a great impression on the viewers. I have never
laughed so hard in a theatre. This was just wonderful! said the
principal, Mrs. Matejczyk. I like the way everything was
transferred to the current times said one of the viewers. In fact,
it was an extremely hard thing to do, but it turned out great.
Luckily, this was not the one and only performance of Taming of the
Shrew. Since the premiere night class 2G performed on Friday,
February 20th at 6:30pm, at a prestigious arts festival called UFO.
Also, they took part in Kopernikalia and became celebrities at
Copernicus Bilingual High School. I feel like we can make it to
Bollywood some day said Tien Chu, one of the actors. If they really
get to Bollywood at some point, then hopefully theyll make a scene
there!Invisible threat causes evacuationAn evacuation of the entire
Copernicus High School was ordered on Tuesday.Over four hundred
confused students and teachers stood three hours on the sidewalk,
in freezing weather, waiting for the fire brigade to secure the
building. The alert was caused, according to unofficial sources, by
a ghost. Robert J., who supposedly saw the phantom, refuses to
comment on the incident. In response to questions, the head teacher
of the school, Matylda Jaworska, has issued a press statement
apologising for the distress caused and the poorly conducted
evacuation. I have never seen any ghosts at school said Ania
Kowalska, 18-year-old senior I never imagined we could be evacuated
due to something other than a fire. The parents of the students
were no less surprised; several of them have already threatened to
press charges. This is a gross negligence, not to mention an absurd
lack of professionalism stated one of the mothers gathered in the
schools office. During World War II, the high school building
served as a hospital and, according to students, the ghost seen by
prof. Robert J. could have been a spirit of one of the patients.
This is a first evacuation reported in the UK that was caused by an
invisible threat.Football coach arrested during trainingThe coach
of a local football team KS Wolka was arrested yesterday near
Copernicus High during training before a major match.The police say
he is accused of managing a widespread hard drug manufacturing and
selling operation.Our informants cannot reveal any more
information, but we do know, that the charges are very serious and
the coach is facing a life sentence.The police have been
investigating this case since two years ago, and just recently were
pointed at an important lead by an undisclosed source.Yesterday at
about 10 am. GROM anti-terrorist teams arrived at the football
pitch near Bema Street and arrested the coach, immediately
terminating the team's training.The field was then closed off and
thoroughly searched for the rest of the day.'They could've at least
let us finish the training. We are very stressed because of the
upcoming match, and we feel like we really lost a lot today due to
the police bursting in like that and closing the area.', says
Mariusz ebski, the team's captain.The police were not able to find
evidence of any illicit activity and had to reopen the team
training grounds the following morning.The lack of evidence raises
serious questions about the honesty of the informant who provided
this lead to the police.Moreover, the well planned, instant and
successful action, a very rare sight in our civil protection
forces' history, suggests some form of corruption.'This must be a
sabotage. Without the coach we are likely to lose tomorrow! We will
surely report this to the Central Anticorruption Bureau (CBA) and
demand serious investigation', says Mr. ebski.We wish KS Wolka all
the best and hope for a positive outcome in the match tomorrow.You
shouldn't have put a ring on itFilled with love and hope, Jake C.
proposed to Clara M. during yesterdays lunch break, but nobody
expected a huge heartbreak his girlfriend gave him with her instant
refusal.Many heart-melting and heartrending moments had happened in
our school, but none of them can compare with yesterdays event.
After the 5th period the lunch break began and the second grade
student Jake C. walked through the whole school to meet his
girlfriend, Clara M. near the cafeteria on the first
floor.Witnesses have confirmed that she looked nervous and uneasy
that day. According to her friend, whod like to remain anonymous,
Her hands were shaking from the beginning of the day, she
definitely expected something unusual and I could tell she didnt
want it to come. Around 12.35 pm, Jake C. approached her and
without any explanation kneeled in front of her, pulling the ring
in a black box out of his pocket. Will you marry me, Clara?, he
asked and all the students around them gasped, waiting for Claras
response. But as witnesses confirmed, she didnt say a word.
Copernicus High School has never seen such a disappointment as the
one appearing on the face of the groom-never-to-be. He got up,
quickly left the corridor and burst into tears, leaving the crowd
amused.The walls of our school had seen many dreams never coming
true, but this was more than tragic. We can only hope that it will
become a cautionary tale to all young lovers in our school.Termites
running amok in Copernicus HighYESTERDAY afternoon, termites were
confirmed to be causing widespread damage in Copernicus High in
Warsaw. Among the most affected places are the historical hallways
and first floor classrooms in the middle school wing. The termite
damage is spreading across the entire building at an alarming rate
and it is feared that further damage is unstoppable.It is still
uncertain where the termites originally came from. Many staff
members suspect that it was from an ill-fated biological experiment
involving these insects, however no evidence has been found to
support this.The first reports of 'munched' wood started appearing
in early February. Due to the concerns of both teachers and
students, the school administration called for an inspector. His
report indisputably confirmed the presence of termites. Concerning
safety inspector Jakub Rok aged 46 commented unenthusiastically:
'I'm afraid that this school no longer fully satisfies the OSH
standards after this unfortunate incident. If the situation does
not change in a matter of days, then the building will have to be
closed off'.The school administration is now discussing possible
solutions for the termite problem, however since its full scale is
yet to be seen, it is difficult to choose the most appropriate
method.'Our historic building, dating back to 1927, is an important
part of Warsaw' says headmistress of Copernicus High, Maria
Kowalska. 'It has withstood the test of time and managed through
the better and the worse. We can't simply abandon it'.Words, words,
words... don't flowKopernik High School's 'Koperek' ensures it is
always the 'freshest' but recently, its contents is anything but
ripe.Lowering standards of the newspaper alert teachers and
students while its endangered future frightens the columnists
themselves. Students at the Kopernik High School are slowly losing
interest with every newly published Koperek and IB journalists are
devastated.While in September 2014, everyone awaited upcoming
issues, in February no one even remembers about this student
initiative unless a copy appears on their desks. What started off
as a creative project now seems to be a burden, dragged along by a
tired board and reporters that don't even know each other well.
Worst-case scenarios have been plotted already, including
abandoning 'Koperek' altogether, which would be a severe blow to
some IB students, who treat the newspaper as part of their CAS
program.Featured articles are sometimes starting to resemble school
homework handed in late, scribbled frantically with the help of the
Internet. Although a few dedicated authors remain, most have given
up on good writing.Why is that so? Tiredness and lack of time seem
to consume even the toughest in the mid-term season. Reader Marta
Kudelska comments: 'It's just not gripping anymore...and the people
involved aren't standing as a team, so every article is on its
own'. 'We are more and more tired' writer Ewelina Dbrowska defends.
'And it is starting to have an effect'. Hopefully the upcoming
spring will curb the obvious writer's block and communication
problems.1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
1. A genius lives there.2. If not 'Koperek', then...3. These magic keys open the gates of our school. We can't imagine our life without them.4. Worth more than gold in Copernicus High.5. The most popular sport in Copernicus High.6. Our school cafeteria serves delicious...7. The trademark accessory of professor Gaz.8. The Cerberi of Copernicus High. They won't let anyone out.9. Some are delightful, some are barely edible. Whence they come?!The strictest teacher of our school. He never gives good grades, always punishes absence and eats kittens.
Our team
Thanks for reading!
Santa Claus wishes all of you Merry Easter!