7/29/2019 Teen Tip #2 -- Communicate for Success
1/1
A Mentors Notes for Teen Transition to Adult Life: Tips for Future Success on the Planet 2013 B. Murray
TIP #2 COMMUNICATE FOR SUCCESS:
his widely quoted (and often
misquoted)1
phrase comes from the
movie Cool Hand Luke starring Paul
Newman.2
So whats the point, you
say?
Well, this TIP #2 is about how to
communicate well. But you already
know how to communicate, right?
Actually, probably not completely or
well! Communicating requires an
originator (speaker, writer, image) and a
receiver (listener, reader, viewer). But
thats not all. For communication to
take place the receiver must completely
and fully understand the originators
message. And, it is the originators
responsibility to ensure that the
message is, indeed, completely and fully
understood by the receiver. Very often
the originator does not take on this
responsibility and failure to
communicate is as often the result.
Importantly and unfortunately, neither
the originator nor receiver realizes that
there even was a failure and each
merrily continues without
communicating, any the wiser!
There are many important reasons why
these failures occur but lets
concentrate on two important ones: 1.
Failure to speak the receivers language;
2. Failure to follow-up (catch my drift?).
The parenthetical phrase in the latter is
very possibly an example of the
former!3
Are you completely confused
now? Do we have a failure to
communicate here? Be sure to read
footnote 3 to, hopefully, clear up things
a bit.
1The misquote most often heard is: What we have
here is a failure to communicate.2
You may not know who Paul Newman is since he
died at age 83 i n 2008 and most likely you have never
heard of the movie because it was released in 1967.3
If you do not know (and you probably do not) what
the phrase catch my drift? means, then I committed
the first error in communication, not using my
audiences language. Catch my drift? means do
you know what I mean?
When I say the originator must speak
the receivers language, Im not talking
language as in German, Swedish, or
English--thats given. What I do mean,
for example, is if you are a teen talking
to another teen most likely you are
speaking and receiving fairly effectively
using current teen vernacular4,
inflection5, and cadence
6in your
conversation. However, if you are
speaking to an adult using these same
patterns there would most likely be a
communication failure. But it is more
than pace or cadence, inflection and
choice of words. It is also diction7
and
voice projection that is important to
good communication. Teens have, since
time immemorial, as often as not,
mumbled softly as if they have mush in
their mouth then when finishing the
sentence auto-fade the volume to near
silence! Also, often the teens pace of
speech is so rapid that only a highly
trained court reporter could keep up.
So a good rule of thumb is to slow
down, project your voice through the
whole sentence, and pronounce yourwords with full and good diction.
Following up is simply the originator
ascertaining8
whether the receiver
correctly received the intended
message. Asking the receiver Know
what I mean? is not good follow-up.
More often than not, the receiver will
answer yes to that question, which
means nothing (think about it). If the
receiver does happen to say no, then
you might have a chance to clarify the
message. One good follow-up
4Vernacular is the distinctive vocabulary or language
of a profession, group, or class. In this case the group
or class is teenagers.5
Inflection is a change in the pi tch or tone of the
voice.6
Cadence as used here means a drop in the pitch of
the voice near the end of a sentence.7
Diction is the art of speaking c learly so that each
word is perfectly heard and understood to its fullest
complexity. It is about pronunciation and tone,
rather than word choice and style.8
Ascertain means to find out something with
certainty
technique would be to ask the receiver
to explain in the receivers words what
the message meant to the receiver.
While it is the originators responsibility
to ensure that the message is fully
understood it is also incumbent9
on the
receiver to actively listen. Often a
receiver hears only what the receiver
expects or wants to hear. Good follow-
up should expose this. Of course, the
more important the message is, the
greater the need for active follow-up.
So, to follow-up: For communication to
take place the originator needs to speak
to the receiver in words, phrasing,
diction and pacing that the receiver can
understand; then the originator must
verify that the message was received
and understood! Catch my drift?
I know not good follow up!
Best Regards,
9In this case i ncumbent means resting on someone as
a duty or responsibility. It can also mean a person
currently holding an official position or post.
T