7/29/2019 Teen Tip #2 -- Communicate for Success

1/1

A Mentors Notes for Teen Transition to Adult Life: Tips for Future Success on the Planet 2013 B. Murray

TIP #2 COMMUNICATE FOR SUCCESS:

his widely quoted (and often

misquoted)1

phrase comes from the

movie Cool Hand Luke starring Paul

Newman.2

So whats the point, you

say?

Well, this TIP #2 is about how to

communicate well. But you already

know how to communicate, right?

Actually, probably not completely or

well! Communicating requires an

originator (speaker, writer, image) and a

receiver (listener, reader, viewer). But

thats not all. For communication to

take place the receiver must completely

and fully understand the originators

message. And, it is the originators

responsibility to ensure that the

message is, indeed, completely and fully

understood by the receiver. Very often

the originator does not take on this

responsibility and failure to

communicate is as often the result.

Importantly and unfortunately, neither

the originator nor receiver realizes that

there even was a failure and each

merrily continues without

communicating, any the wiser!

There are many important reasons why

these failures occur but lets

concentrate on two important ones: 1.

Failure to speak the receivers language;

2. Failure to follow-up (catch my drift?).

The parenthetical phrase in the latter is

very possibly an example of the

former!3

Are you completely confused

now? Do we have a failure to

communicate here? Be sure to read

footnote 3 to, hopefully, clear up things

a bit.

1The misquote most often heard is: What we have

here is a failure to communicate.2

You may not know who Paul Newman is since he

died at age 83 i n 2008 and most likely you have never

heard of the movie because it was released in 1967.3

If you do not know (and you probably do not) what

the phrase catch my drift? means, then I committed

the first error in communication, not using my

audiences language. Catch my drift? means do

you know what I mean?

When I say the originator must speak

the receivers language, Im not talking

language as in German, Swedish, or

English--thats given. What I do mean,

for example, is if you are a teen talking

to another teen most likely you are

speaking and receiving fairly effectively

using current teen vernacular4,

inflection5, and cadence

6in your

conversation. However, if you are

speaking to an adult using these same

patterns there would most likely be a

communication failure. But it is more

than pace or cadence, inflection and

choice of words. It is also diction7

and

voice projection that is important to

good communication. Teens have, since

time immemorial, as often as not,

mumbled softly as if they have mush in

their mouth then when finishing the

sentence auto-fade the volume to near

silence! Also, often the teens pace of

speech is so rapid that only a highly

trained court reporter could keep up.

So a good rule of thumb is to slow

down, project your voice through the

whole sentence, and pronounce yourwords with full and good diction.

Following up is simply the originator

ascertaining8

whether the receiver

correctly received the intended

message. Asking the receiver Know

what I mean? is not good follow-up.

More often than not, the receiver will

answer yes to that question, which

means nothing (think about it). If the

receiver does happen to say no, then

you might have a chance to clarify the

message. One good follow-up

4Vernacular is the distinctive vocabulary or language

of a profession, group, or class. In this case the group

or class is teenagers.5

Inflection is a change in the pi tch or tone of the

voice.6

Cadence as used here means a drop in the pitch of

the voice near the end of a sentence.7

Diction is the art of speaking c learly so that each

word is perfectly heard and understood to its fullest

complexity. It is about pronunciation and tone,

rather than word choice and style.8

Ascertain means to find out something with

certainty

technique would be to ask the receiver

to explain in the receivers words what

the message meant to the receiver.

While it is the originators responsibility

to ensure that the message is fully

understood it is also incumbent9

on the

receiver to actively listen. Often a

receiver hears only what the receiver

expects or wants to hear. Good follow-

up should expose this. Of course, the

more important the message is, the

greater the need for active follow-up.

So, to follow-up: For communication to

take place the originator needs to speak

to the receiver in words, phrasing,

diction and pacing that the receiver can

understand; then the originator must

verify that the message was received

and understood! Catch my drift?

I know not good follow up!

Best Regards,

9In this case i ncumbent means resting on someone as

a duty or responsibility. It can also mean a person

currently holding an official position or post.

T