I have no end of good reasons to stay awake most part of the night. I can only sleep when:
my kids (both) fall asleep
when they are asleep, until the burglar alarm of my neighbor springs
when it ceases and the kids fall asleep again, I can sleep unless I have a Stanford assignment to submit
when I am done, if no alarm is screaming and kids are still sleeping, as soon as the chamomile makes its effects.
So I can keep counting sheep while kids are kicking me in the big bed....good night, time for chamomile ;-)A
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3
my kids (both) fall
asleep
Tell them a story
Soft and sweet
Sing a lullaby
Switch on a Mozart CD
Weird
Black magic ritual
Wodoo
Hard
Hit them on the head
Tape their mouths
Chemical
Opium
Alternative
Ask grandma to look after
Send them on holiday
Collaborative
Pajamas party
Enroll in house-
cleaning tournament
One centTurn all the
lights off
Tell them to sleep straightaway
It’s not happening to me
Way up neighbor’s children and have them playing together
Play with them until they drop
the burglar alarm of my
neighbor springsSoft and sweet
Pretend it is a Mozart CD
Weird
Black magic ritual
Wodoo
Hard
Destroy it
Unplug electricity
Chemical
Addict the tenants
Alternative
Buy a louder alarm to cover the noise
Call the police
Collaborative
Buy them a new alarm set
Try to set the alarm
properly
Jam the sensors
One centWear ear stoppers
Listen to good music instead
Ask your neighbor not to
set the alarm
It’s not happening to me
Make other alarms spring to cause a
social contemporary
issue
Do your best
Soft and sweet
Invent a pathetic excuse
Weird
Black magic ritual
Wodoo
Hard Hack the site
Unplug electricity
Chemical
Take amphetamines
Alternative
Copy a random mind map from Google
Look at Tina’s book
Collaborative
Create a large team
Ask wife or children to
do the assignment
Do your assignme
ntDecide not to do it
Chang your profile in “Auditing the
Class”
It’s not happening to me
Join a team who has already submitted it
I have a Stanford
assignment to submit
One cent
Stop worrying
Double size bags
Soft and sweet
Put the bags over your eyes after use
Weird
Black magic ritual
Wodoo
Hard Eat the bags
Sniff the powder
Chemical
Take alternatives
Alternative
Read a book
Count the sheep
Collaborative
Listen to a detailed description of wife’s friend heart’s troubles
Ask wife to hit you on the
head
Jog in the parkWatch Gone
with the wind
Swallow up the chamomile without
breathing so can loose senses
Drink the chamomile still
boiling so sleeping is not
anymore an issue
It’s not happening to me
Ask friends for better
remediesthe
chamomile makes its
effectsOne centSip the
chamomile slowly
Double size sheep
Smart
Assume a lamb for each sheep for a faster speed
Weird
Black magic ritual
Wodoo
HardGo and sleep with the sheep
Go and count real sheep
Chemical
Take LSD for a more realistic experience
Count in reverse
Count dogs
Collaborative
Listen to your wife counting for you
Count odd numbers first
One centDraw sheep in a
copybook and flip the pages
Keep counting sheep until drop
off
Count sheep all together, neighbors included
It’s not happening to me
counting sheep
Alternative
Watch Shawn the
sheep
Smart
Scare kids with stories about big beds eating children
Weird
Black magic ritual
Wodoo
HardFasten kids
Lock the door
Chemical
Spray a disgusting smell on the sheets
Alternative
Sleep in hammock
Collaborative
Engage them in a kick competition
Kick wife until she
gets angry and sends
them to bed
Go and sleep in their bedsBuy a
hermetic sheet set
Play football in bed
Tell kids to go and sleep in
their beds
Read good parental
books
Kick stronger
kids are kicking me in the big
bedOne cent
It’s not happening to me
MY RECIPE
Thank you for watching this
Once upon a time there was a very tired dad
who couldn’t sleep at all.
One day he enrolled in a Stanford’s course
and found his way to sleep.
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