Score Explanation This essay demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by effectively and insightfully developing a point of view (Knowledge is what drives society forward, allows us to thrive, to live longer and more comfortably, but it is also a great burden), providing clearly appropriate reasons and examples from history and personal observations as support. The essay is well organized and clearly focused on the idea that knowledge is “both our blessing and our curse,” displaying clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas (Oppenheimer grappled with the morality of a bomb which could kill hundreds of thousands of people. . . . Oppenheimer’s words began to ring true for society . . . as we realized the moral implications of what we had done). Using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary, the response exhibits skillful use of language and displays meaningful variety in sentence structure throughout (Our knowledge is a mixed bag; it preserves and destroys us. Knowledge is a powerful tool, one which will unlock many doors for us as individuals and as the whole of the human race, but we must always remember the consequences of gaining knowledge). Despite a few minor errors, the response demonstrates clear and consistent mastery and receives a score of 6.
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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays
These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here
for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without
any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is
provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.
View Essay Scores:
Sample Essay - Score of 6
Knowledge is power; it liberates us, enlightens us, allows us to grow and expand and
better our conditions. Today, our knowledge of the world has grown immensely, and
could be seen as “beyond our control”, and even a burden. However, history shows us
that while great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, it always has
outweighing benefits.
History is rife with examples of knowledge being a burden, but ultimately proving to be
beneficial. For instance, Galileo, a 17th century astronomer and scientist, was arguably
the greatest contributer to science of our time. His diligent research of our Earth and
solar system led to groundbreaking discoveries that, at the time, were extremely
controversial. Galileo was the first scientist, and person, to question the Church’s
statement that the Earth was the center of the solar system, and all other planets and
the Sun revolved around it. He instead argued, and proved through research, that the
Sun was the center of our galaxy, and Earth just another planet in its orbit. This
knowledge was profound, enlightening, and powerful; it was also a great burden.
Galileo’s theory was met with disbelief, outrage, and violent opposition; it was an
extreme burden to him. The Church was furious at Galileo for disproving its teachings
because at the time, the Church’s word was law. Never before had its teachings been
so scientifically and poignantly questioned. To think that the Earth wasn’t the center
around which all things revolved was a shocking and humbling fact that those so
fervently set in their beliefs couldn’t accept. Galileo was immediately attacked and
interogated because of his powerful knowledge. He was declared a heretic, and
excommunicated from the Church. Galileo was a very religious man; this social and
spiritual ostracizing broke him completely. Even still, he knew that although his
knowledge was a heavy and painful burden, it was true, and would later benefit
generations of scientists to come. Today, attribute Galileo’s discoveries as some of the
most important scientific findings of the common era.
Galileo’s story is a historical example of powerful knowledge being a burden, but
ultimately having extremely positive benefits. If it weren’t for great minds constantly
expanding our knowledge of the world, we would be a stagnant peoples, never moving
forward and creating new and marvelous things. Knowledge truly is a tool that can
change the world and although it may sometimes be inconvenient, it is the most
powerful thing we have.
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Score Explanation
Demonstrating outstanding critical thinking, this essay effectively and insightfully
develops the point of view that “while great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy
burden, it always has outweighing benefits.” Using the clearly appropriate extended
example of “Galileo’s story,” the essay is well organized and clearly focused as it
illustrates the importance of “great minds constantly expanding our knowledge . . .
creating new and marvelous things.” The response displays clear coherence and
smooth progression of ideas (Galileo’s theory was met with disbelief, outrage, and
violent opposition; it was an extreme burden to him. . . . Even still, he knew that
although his knowledge was a heavy and painful burden, it was true, and would later
benefit generations of scientists to come). The essay also exhibits skillful use of
language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary, and meaningful variety in
sentence structure is evident (His diligent research of our Earth and solar system led
to groundbreaking discoveries that, at the time, were extremely controversial).
Demonstrating clear and consistent mastery, this essay merits a score of 6.
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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays
These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here
for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without
any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is
provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.
View Essay Scores:
Sample Essay - Score of 5
Knowledge is power. Knowledge can only be a burden if you abuse it. Knowledge is a
necessity in today’s world, as we strive to further understand what is around us and
how we make these things usueful to us. It is to our benefit to understand what
problems and difficulties face our society, and how we can solve these problems and
make these difficulties easier to manage.
For example in the present day world oil is our biggest necessity. As we continue to
grow and expand, oil is becoming scare. As we drive our SUVs and other gas hogging
cars we are using up our most precious natural resource. If we as a society gain the
knowledge to find other ways to live beside using oil (i.e. hybrid cars) we will not
become so dependent on the Middle East as we strive to obtain the oil that we
desperatly need. If we find new ways to live, make new inventions that use less oil then
this knowledge can only be beneficial. As the world will someday run out of this
resource that we call oil, we will then turn to our knowledge of the situation in order to
allow us to live better lives being not so dependent on just one resource or anyother
nations with that resource.
Not only does knowledge help us with preserving oil and other natural resources, but it
helps us with finding cures for sicknesses and diseases as well. If we understand what
causes these awful diseases then we can use this knowledge in the future to prevent
them, take for example genetics. If one of your family members of the past had
osteoperosis, then there is a good chance that it could be past down to you. If we use
our knowledge of the DNA chain and learn to change these defects, even before the
baby is born, then we can change the fact that this baby was to have osteoperosis. Not
only is using this knowledge a necessity in our present day world but beneficial in the
sense that we can save lives and eliminate the awful diseases that thereaten our
society every day. If we use the knowledge that we possess about the different
Adenine’s and Guanine’s etc. (of the DNA chain) then there is no limit to how much this
knowledge could help us.
Another example of how knowledge is beneficial is with manual labor. If we understand
how we do certain things and we make machines to do this work for us then it makes
life much better. Take for example a washer and dryer. Without these things washing
and drying clothes would be much more of a hassle. This knowledge can be extremely
beneficial as we can use what we know to make life better.
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In conclusion, knowledge is extremely beneficial whether it be used to preserve natural
resources such as oil, help us to find cure for diseases, or help making our lives better
with machines instead of manual labor knowledge is beneficial in every way. Most
importantly though if we know how to apply this knowledge, there is no limit to how
beneficial knowledge can be.
Score Explanation
Demonstrating strong critical thinking, this essay effectively develops a point of view
(knowledge is beneficial in every way. Most importantly . . . if we know how to apply
this knowledge, there is no limit to how beneficial knowledge can be), providing
appropriate reasons and examples to support the position. Well organized and focused
on its three reasons why
“[k]nowledge is a necessity in today’s world,” the response exhibits coherence and
progression of ideas (As we drive our SUVs and other gas hogging cars we are using
up our most precious natural resource. . . . If we find new ways to live, make new
inventions that use less oil then this knowledge can only be beneficial), despite some
repetition. The essay displays facility in the use of language, using appropriate
vocabulary, and variety in sentence structure is evident (It is to our benefit to
understand what problems and difficulties face our society, and how we can solve
these problems and make these difficulties easier to manage). In order to receive a
score of 6, the writer needs to develop the examples more fully, perhaps by
expanding the first two examples and eliminating the third, and should avoid
repetition by improving his or her control of language. Demonstrating reasonably
consistent mastery, this essay receives a score of 5.
Sample Essay - Score of 5
The bank of human knowledge has increased steadily over time. We now know things
about our planet and ourselves that people liviving 500 hundred years ago could never
have hoped to know. However, as our wealth of knowledge and thus technology have
increased, so has the capacity for misuse of the power that is knowledge. One of the
most well-known culminations of knowledge was that of the atomic bomb. It took
thousands of years of human evolution, but we now have the ability to wipe humans off
the face of the earth. When the United States dropped the bomb on Japan it was in the
name of our defense, but at what cost? People to this day are still suffering from the
effects of the radiation produced and that still lingers from the bomb. We are definatly
faced with the burden that there are still people suffering from what was seen as a
great accomplishment back in the day. When life was more simple, top government
officials weren’t under the pressure that, with one wrong move, we could possibly
eliminate our species.
In another instence, agriculture, our knowledge might ultimatly lead to much sickness
for people as a whole. With the advent of genetically-modified organisms, we are now
able to create “super crops” that are resistant to pesticides and herbicides, but we are
now faced with the dilemna of whether to use them. The continued exposure to
genitically modified organisms could cause cancer, but it could also potentially end
world hunger. While “gmo’s” might be easier to grow, farmers now have to decide
whether or not to use them. This was not even a consideration 100 years ago when all
crops were the result of careful breeding. Farmers must decide whether to make a
larger profit with larger, faster growing corn, or not make as much, and produce
natural healthy food.
While knowledge most definatly is not bad, we as people must use it responsibly. The
questions of where, when, and whether to use our vast knowledge must be asked in
each case; if the pros out way the cons it should be used to better life, but not at the
expense of nature.
Score Explanation
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This essay effectively develops a point of view (While knowledge most definatly is not
bad, we as people must use it responsibly) and demonstrates strong critical thinking,
supporting the position with appropriate reasons and examples from technology and
agriculture. Focused on the “capacity for misuse” of knowledge, the well-organized
response exhibits coherence and progression of ideas (. . . we now have the ability to
wipe humans off the face of the earth. When the United States dropped the bomb on
Japan it was in the name of our defense, but at what cost? . . . When life was more
simple, top government officials weren’t under the pressure that, with one wrong
move, we could possibly eliminate our species). The essay displays facility in the use
of language and variety in sentence structure (With the advent of genetically-modified
organisms, we are now able to create “super crops” that are resistant to pesticides
and herbicides, but we are now faced with the dilemna of whether to use them). To
earn a score of 6, the writer must use critical thinking and additional detailed
evidence to enrich the examples. This essay demonstrates reasonably consistent
mastery and receives a score of 5.
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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays
These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here
for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without
any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is
provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.
View Essay Scores:
Sample Essay - Score of 4
Most people want, or think they want to have a vast amount of knowledge and to be
overall smart. This desire is good when in school, but out in real life is knowledge a
benefit? No, not really. When a person is really smart, I see them as having two types
of burdens. One is a psychological while the other is social.
When a knowledgable person realizes they are smart they tend to take on that
responsibility. This includes always having the right answer and always making the right
choices. But being somewhat knowledgable myself, I know that there are hundreds of
times when I don’t know the right answer and I don’t want to make the right choice.
This causes internal conflict and stress that can lead to terrible psychological problems.
Which is why I feel true knowledge is burdensome on the psyche.
There is a second reason to why I feel knowledge is not always a benefit and it has to
do with social relationships. As a human being I rely heavily on contact with other
people because without those relationships how do I know I exist? Being a
knowledgable person causes conflict in the social world by asking the smart person to
do dumb stuff. The average man finds mental stimulation in a video game where a
smart man finds it in how the video game works. The difference may seem subtle, but
the effects are huge. A smart man won’t want to play video games or sit around
watching T.V. like the average man. This causes a social gap that can lead to personal
isolation and that is why I think knowledge causes a social burden.
With these two points in mind I’m not saying it’s better to be dumb or ignorant. What I
am saying goes hand-in-hand with a much older and well known saying, “Too much of
anything is a bad thing.” Too much knowledge is just as burdensome as too much
ignorance, it is a balance of both that gives a person the benefit.
Score Explanation
This essay displays competent critical thinking by developing a point of view (Too
much knowledge is just as burdensome as too much ignorance, it is a balance of both
that gives a person the benefit) and supporting the position with adequate reasons
illustrating the “psychological” and “social” burdens of being “a knowledgable person.”
Despite a few lapses, the essay is generally organized and focused on its argument,
displaying some coherence and progression of ideas (The average man finds mental
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stimulation in a video game where a smart man finds it in how the video game works.
The difference may seem subtle, but the effects are huge. . . . This causes a social
gap that can lead to personal isolation and that is why I think knowledge causes a
social burden). Facility in the use of language is adequate but inconsistent, and some
variety in sentence structure appears (But being somewhat knowledgable myself, I
know that there are hundreds of times when I don’t know the right answer and I
don’t want to make the right choice). In order to earn a higher score, the writer must
argue more persuasively that knowledge is “not really” a benefit in life, perhaps by
adding more specific details from history, literature, or personal experience.
Demonstrating adequate mastery, this essay merits a score of 4.
Sample Essay - Score of 4
Although rarely an issue knowledge can be a burden rather than a benefit. As shown in
Plato’s allegory of the cave, knowledge comes with a responsibility to enlighten others,
and share what you have learned. Also, knowledge can become a burden in another
form. In the movie A Beautiful Mind, the main character’s genius is what causes him to
slowly lose his mind. In both cases the main character is burden with their knowledge,
whether as a responsibilty or as an illness. Ignorance is bliss because what you don’t
know can’t burden you with its weight.
Plato’s Allegory of the Cave describes a man’s journey towards enlightenment,
knowledge and wisdom. It is a long and strenous expierence that takes many years to
finish. Once he had reached the final stage, he was morally obligated to share what he
learned with those who still lived in ignorance. However, it was not as easy as he
expected. No matter how hard he tried to enlighten his former peers, the all saw him as
crazy and insane. In the end he was ripped into shreds by his people. His burden of
knowledge was to teach others what he had learned, however, he was not able to do it
and was killed.
Another example in which knowledge became a burden was in the movie A Beautiful
Mind starring Russel Crowe. Russel Crowe played a brilliant mathmatician who is slowly
driven to insanity by his genius. For his mind knowledge is a drug, a drug the mind
wants more and more. The harder Russel Crowe’s character searches for the truth, the
crazier he becomes. The knowledge that floats in his mind becomes too heavy of a
burden and his mind cracks.
Many say ignorance is bliss, and in some cases it is true. The mind and body cannot be
burden by what it doesn’t know. As shown in the Allegory of the Cave, and A Beautiful
Mind, knowledge can be a great burden. A burden which compromised one character’s
life, and the other their mind. While being knowledgeable is a benefit, too much is a
burden which will bring about one’s downfall.
Score Explanation
This essay develops a point of view (While being knowledgeable is a benefit, too much
is a burden which will bring about one’s downfall) and demonstrates competent
critical thinking, supporting the position with adequate evidence drawn from literature
and film, although this evidence could have been more consistently developed.
Generally focused on its examples, the essay exhibits some coherence and
progression of ideas (Russel Crowe played a brilliant mathmatician who is slowly
driven to insanity by his genius. . . . The harder Russel Crowe’s character searches for
the truth, the crazier he becomes). The essay displays adequate but inconsistent
facility in the use of language, using generally appropriate vocabulary, and
demonstrates some variety in sentence structure (Once he had reached the final
stage, he was morally obligated to share what he learned with those who still lived in
ignorance). To achieve a higher score, the writer must use critical thinking to contrast
knowledge and ignorance more effectively—is ignorance really “bliss”?—and exhibit
greater facility in the use of language. As a whole, this response displays adequate
mastery and merits a score of 4.
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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays
These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here
for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without
any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is
provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.
View Essay Scores:
Sample Essay - Score of 3
Some say “Knowledge is power”, and like power it can, at times, be a dangerous thing.
It may be true that knowledge has its downfalls, but that is true with all things in life
and its benefits outweigh its burdensome qualities, for knowledge has the ability to
better the world in regards to technology and is an incredibly powerful tool.
Technology is one of the hotly debated issues of our time, people are constantly arguing
has it gone too far?, is it out of control? these questions can be asked about the major
developments of technology gained through knowledge. Some of these developments
are dangerous such as weapons like nuclear weapons, but there have been so many
other useful inventions that have bettered society, such as, the computer (making work
more efficient) or advancements made in medicine with the use of knowledge.
Knowledge is powerful in the way that it has so many abilities, the ability to
compromise, to solve problems, and ultimately leads to an open-mind. Without
knowledge, there is ignorance. Ignorance leads to far greater problems and conflicts
than knowledge is able to contribute. Knowledge has the ability to bring two sides
together, to better the world one problem at a time.
Obviously knowledge is burdensome and has its flaws, but so does everything else in
our world today. One should not overlook its benefits for there are far more of them
than its problematic characteristics. The power of knowledge is a privilige and should be
treated as such, it requires responsibility.
Score Explanation
This essay demonstrates some critical thinking as it develops the point of view that
the benefits of knowledge “outweigh its burdensome qualities.” However, the reasons
and examples provided are brief and limited in focus, resulting in inadequate support
for the position. Although the essay is somewhat organized and focused on the idea
that “knowledge has the ability to better the world . . . and is an incredibly powerful
tool,” reliance on generalizations leads to some lapses in the progression of ideas
(Without knowledge, there is ignorance. Ignorance leads to far greater problems and
conflicts than knowledge is able to contribute. Knowledge has the ability to bring two
sides together, to better the world one problem at a time). The essay exhibits
developing facility in the use of language, but it sometimes uses weak and repetitive
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vocabulary (It may be true that knowledge has its downfalls, but that is true with all
things in life). To earn a higher score, the writer must exhibit improved control of
grammar, usage, and mechanics and provide focused and detailed evidence that
effectively develops the point of view. Overall, this essay demonstrates developing
mastery and earns a score of 3.
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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays
These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here
for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without
any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is
provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.
View Essay Scores:
Sample Essay - Score of 2
Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit? Yes, because it beyond people
control, and people have to know how to do many things. We don’t know where, when,
or even whether this know-how should be used. I agree because if someone who knows
you are very smart will as you something that is impossible to figure out, and you don’t
know where to start or answer there questions. For example knowledge can be a
burden rather than a benefit. For example Dr. Phill, and Oprah has to come up with
ways to meet people needs, and wants.
Dr. Phill is a well educated person that give people advice that will later help them out
in life. Sometimes he don’t know how to start explaining what that person could do to
help their situation. At a point all that knowledge he has, becomes a burden to have
instead of a benefit for help out people with their problems. Every time a person ask
him a questions by his knowledge our experience he has to respond by telling he or she
the truth. There alot of situation Dr. Phill had to fix, but his knowledge sometimes goes
out of control.
Oprah is another well eduacted person, she also has alot of knowledge. She could stop
some of famine in Africa, and help out people in Africa. There are things like disease,
and tedious labor that Oprah cant fix, and that becomes beyond her control. It it
becomes a burden to her, because she don’t know what medicine to give them. Rather
then benefiting from seeing Africa people not hunger more, or without a house.
My conclusion is that knowledge could be a burden rather than a benifit. Knowledge is
power, but sometimes that knowledge becomes so powerful that it is beyond your
control. When you have knowledge and power you could help people, but knowledge is
out of control, it becomes a burden to you. So I do agree with the critical, that
knowledge could be a burden rather than a benifit.
Score Explanation
Demonstrating weak critical thinking, this essay offers a vague point of view
(Knowledge is power, but sometimes that knowledge becomes so powerful that it is
beyond your control) and provides reasons and examples that are insufficient to
support the position. The evidence provided is poorly organized and focused, resulting
in serious problems with coherence and progression of ideas (Oprah is another well
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eduacted person . . . . There are things like disease, and tedious labor that Oprah
cant fix, and that becomes beyond her control. It it becomes a burden to her,
because she don’t know what medicine to give them). The essay seldom uses
vocabulary that goes beyond repetition of the prompt, and serious problems in
grammar, usage, and mechanics occur (There alot of situation Dr. Phill had to fix, but
his knowledge sometimes goes out of control). To earn a higher score, the writer
needs to exhibit much greater control in his or her use of language and provide more
detailed evidence to clarify and support the position. As a whole, this essay
demonstrates little mastery and receives a score of 2.
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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays
These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here
for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without
any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is
provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.
View Essay Scores:
Sample Essay - Score of 1
Knowledge can be a burden more than a benefit. for when you know how to do some
thing well one may be called apon to do it over and over. leveing no time for other
thing in his or her life. Shuch as knowing how to fix computers. I know this becuse I
get called out of class 95% of the time that im in school. So knowledge is a burden not
a benefit. maybe it will be come a benefit some time down the rode but not any time
soon.
Score Explanation
This essay offers a point of view (Knowledge can be a burden more than a benefit)
but provides too little evidence to support the position. The few ideas presented are
unfocused, resulting in a disjointed essay (for when you know how to do some thing
well one may be called apon to do it over and over. leveing no time for other thing in
his or her life. Shuch as knowing how to fix computers. I know this becuse I get called
out of class 95% of the time that im in school). Sentence fragments and pervasive
errors in usage and mechanics interfere with meaning. In order to earn a higher
score, the writer needs to provide clear, developed reasons and/or examples in
support of the position. Demonstrating very little mastery, this essay receives a score
of 1.
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