Score Explanation This essay demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by effectively and insightfully developing a point of view (Knowledge is what drives society forward, allows us to thrive, to live longer and more comfortably, but it is also a great burden), providing clearly appropriate reasons and examples from history and personal observations as support. The essay is well organized and clearly focused on the idea that knowledge is “both our blessing and our curse,” displaying clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas (Oppenheimer grappled with the morality of a bomb which could kill hundreds of thousands of people. . . . Oppenheimer’s words began to ring true for society . . . as we realized the moral implications of what we had done). Using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary, the response exhibits skillful use of language and displays meaningful variety in sentence structure throughout (Our knowledge is a mixed bag; it preserves and destroys us. Knowledge is a powerful tool, one which will unlock many doors for us as individuals and as the whole of the human race, but we must always remember the consequences of gaining knowledge). Despite a few minor errors, the response demonstrates clear and consistent mastery and receives a score of 6.

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Section 1

Section 2

Section 4

Section 5

Section 6

Section 7

Section 8

Section 9

Section 10

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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays

These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here

for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without

any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is

provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.

View Essay Scores:

Sample Essay - Score of 6

Knowledge is power; it liberates us, enlightens us, allows us to grow and expand and

better our conditions. Today, our knowledge of the world has grown immensely, and

could be seen as “beyond our control”, and even a burden. However, history shows us

that while great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, it always has

outweighing benefits.

History is rife with examples of knowledge being a burden, but ultimately proving to be

beneficial. For instance, Galileo, a 17th century astronomer and scientist, was arguably

the greatest contributer to science of our time. His diligent research of our Earth and

solar system led to groundbreaking discoveries that, at the time, were extremely

controversial. Galileo was the first scientist, and person, to question the Church’s

statement that the Earth was the center of the solar system, and all other planets and

the Sun revolved around it. He instead argued, and proved through research, that the

Sun was the center of our galaxy, and Earth just another planet in its orbit. This

knowledge was profound, enlightening, and powerful; it was also a great burden.

Galileo’s theory was met with disbelief, outrage, and violent opposition; it was an

extreme burden to him. The Church was furious at Galileo for disproving its teachings

because at the time, the Church’s word was law. Never before had its teachings been

so scientifically and poignantly questioned. To think that the Earth wasn’t the center

around which all things revolved was a shocking and humbling fact that those so

fervently set in their beliefs couldn’t accept. Galileo was immediately attacked and

interogated because of his powerful knowledge. He was declared a heretic, and

excommunicated from the Church. Galileo was a very religious man; this social and

spiritual ostracizing broke him completely. Even still, he knew that although his

knowledge was a heavy and painful burden, it was true, and would later benefit

generations of scientists to come. Today, attribute Galileo’s discoveries as some of the

most important scientific findings of the common era.

Galileo’s story is a historical example of powerful knowledge being a burden, but

ultimately having extremely positive benefits. If it weren’t for great minds constantly

expanding our knowledge of the world, we would be a stagnant peoples, never moving

forward and creating new and marvelous things. Knowledge truly is a tool that can

change the world and although it may sometimes be inconvenient, it is the most

powerful thing we have.

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Score Explanation

Demonstrating outstanding critical thinking, this essay effectively and insightfully

develops the point of view that “while great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy

burden, it always has outweighing benefits.” Using the clearly appropriate extended

example of “Galileo’s story,” the essay is well organized and clearly focused as it

illustrates the importance of “great minds constantly expanding our knowledge . . .

creating new and marvelous things.” The response displays clear coherence and

smooth progression of ideas (Galileo’s theory was met with disbelief, outrage, and

violent opposition; it was an extreme burden to him. . . . Even still, he knew that

although his knowledge was a heavy and painful burden, it was true, and would later

benefit generations of scientists to come). The essay also exhibits skillful use of

language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary, and meaningful variety in

sentence structure is evident (His diligent research of our Earth and solar system led

to groundbreaking discoveries that, at the time, were extremely controversial).

Demonstrating clear and consistent mastery, this essay merits a score of 6.

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Section 1

Section 2

Section 4

Section 5

Section 6

Section 7

Section 8

Section 9

Section 10

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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays

These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here

for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without

any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is

provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.

View Essay Scores:

Sample Essay - Score of 5

Knowledge is power. Knowledge can only be a burden if you abuse it. Knowledge is a

necessity in today’s world, as we strive to further understand what is around us and

how we make these things usueful to us. It is to our benefit to understand what

problems and difficulties face our society, and how we can solve these problems and

make these difficulties easier to manage.

For example in the present day world oil is our biggest necessity. As we continue to

grow and expand, oil is becoming scare. As we drive our SUVs and other gas hogging

cars we are using up our most precious natural resource. If we as a society gain the

knowledge to find other ways to live beside using oil (i.e. hybrid cars) we will not

become so dependent on the Middle East as we strive to obtain the oil that we

desperatly need. If we find new ways to live, make new inventions that use less oil then

this knowledge can only be beneficial. As the world will someday run out of this

resource that we call oil, we will then turn to our knowledge of the situation in order to

allow us to live better lives being not so dependent on just one resource or anyother

nations with that resource.

Not only does knowledge help us with preserving oil and other natural resources, but it

helps us with finding cures for sicknesses and diseases as well. If we understand what

causes these awful diseases then we can use this knowledge in the future to prevent

them, take for example genetics. If one of your family members of the past had

osteoperosis, then there is a good chance that it could be past down to you. If we use

our knowledge of the DNA chain and learn to change these defects, even before the

baby is born, then we can change the fact that this baby was to have osteoperosis. Not

only is using this knowledge a necessity in our present day world but beneficial in the

sense that we can save lives and eliminate the awful diseases that thereaten our

society every day. If we use the knowledge that we possess about the different

Adenine’s and Guanine’s etc. (of the DNA chain) then there is no limit to how much this

knowledge could help us.

Another example of how knowledge is beneficial is with manual labor. If we understand

how we do certain things and we make machines to do this work for us then it makes

life much better. Take for example a washer and dryer. Without these things washing

and drying clothes would be much more of a hassle. This knowledge can be extremely

beneficial as we can use what we know to make life better.

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In conclusion, knowledge is extremely beneficial whether it be used to preserve natural

resources such as oil, help us to find cure for diseases, or help making our lives better

with machines instead of manual labor knowledge is beneficial in every way. Most

importantly though if we know how to apply this knowledge, there is no limit to how

beneficial knowledge can be.

Score Explanation

Demonstrating strong critical thinking, this essay effectively develops a point of view

(knowledge is beneficial in every way. Most importantly . . . if we know how to apply

this knowledge, there is no limit to how beneficial knowledge can be), providing

appropriate reasons and examples to support the position. Well organized and focused

on its three reasons why

“[k]nowledge is a necessity in today’s world,” the response exhibits coherence and

progression of ideas (As we drive our SUVs and other gas hogging cars we are using

up our most precious natural resource. . . . If we find new ways to live, make new

inventions that use less oil then this knowledge can only be beneficial), despite some

repetition. The essay displays facility in the use of language, using appropriate

vocabulary, and variety in sentence structure is evident (It is to our benefit to

understand what problems and difficulties face our society, and how we can solve

these problems and make these difficulties easier to manage). In order to receive a

score of 6, the writer needs to develop the examples more fully, perhaps by

expanding the first two examples and eliminating the third, and should avoid

repetition by improving his or her control of language. Demonstrating reasonably

consistent mastery, this essay receives a score of 5.

Sample Essay - Score of 5

The bank of human knowledge has increased steadily over time. We now know things

about our planet and ourselves that people liviving 500 hundred years ago could never

have hoped to know. However, as our wealth of knowledge and thus technology have

increased, so has the capacity for misuse of the power that is knowledge. One of the

most well-known culminations of knowledge was that of the atomic bomb. It took

thousands of years of human evolution, but we now have the ability to wipe humans off

the face of the earth. When the United States dropped the bomb on Japan it was in the

name of our defense, but at what cost? People to this day are still suffering from the

effects of the radiation produced and that still lingers from the bomb. We are definatly

faced with the burden that there are still people suffering from what was seen as a

great accomplishment back in the day. When life was more simple, top government

officials weren’t under the pressure that, with one wrong move, we could possibly

eliminate our species.

In another instence, agriculture, our knowledge might ultimatly lead to much sickness

for people as a whole. With the advent of genetically-modified organisms, we are now

able to create “super crops” that are resistant to pesticides and herbicides, but we are

now faced with the dilemna of whether to use them. The continued exposure to

genitically modified organisms could cause cancer, but it could also potentially end

world hunger. While “gmo’s” might be easier to grow, farmers now have to decide

whether or not to use them. This was not even a consideration 100 years ago when all

crops were the result of careful breeding. Farmers must decide whether to make a

larger profit with larger, faster growing corn, or not make as much, and produce

natural healthy food.

While knowledge most definatly is not bad, we as people must use it responsibly. The

questions of where, when, and whether to use our vast knowledge must be asked in

each case; if the pros out way the cons it should be used to better life, but not at the

expense of nature.

Score Explanation

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This essay effectively develops a point of view (While knowledge most definatly is not

bad, we as people must use it responsibly) and demonstrates strong critical thinking,

supporting the position with appropriate reasons and examples from technology and

agriculture. Focused on the “capacity for misuse” of knowledge, the well-organized

response exhibits coherence and progression of ideas (. . . we now have the ability to

wipe humans off the face of the earth. When the United States dropped the bomb on

Japan it was in the name of our defense, but at what cost? . . . When life was more

simple, top government officials weren’t under the pressure that, with one wrong

move, we could possibly eliminate our species). The essay displays facility in the use

of language and variety in sentence structure (With the advent of genetically-modified

organisms, we are now able to create “super crops” that are resistant to pesticides

and herbicides, but we are now faced with the dilemna of whether to use them). To

earn a score of 6, the writer must use critical thinking and additional detailed

evidence to enrich the examples. This essay demonstrates reasonably consistent

mastery and receives a score of 5.

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Section 1

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Section 5

Section 6

Section 7

Section 8

Section 9

Section 10

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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays

These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here

for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without

any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is

provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.

View Essay Scores:

Sample Essay - Score of 4

Most people want, or think they want to have a vast amount of knowledge and to be

overall smart. This desire is good when in school, but out in real life is knowledge a

benefit? No, not really. When a person is really smart, I see them as having two types

of burdens. One is a psychological while the other is social.

When a knowledgable person realizes they are smart they tend to take on that

responsibility. This includes always having the right answer and always making the right

choices. But being somewhat knowledgable myself, I know that there are hundreds of

times when I don’t know the right answer and I don’t want to make the right choice.

This causes internal conflict and stress that can lead to terrible psychological problems.

Which is why I feel true knowledge is burdensome on the psyche.

There is a second reason to why I feel knowledge is not always a benefit and it has to

do with social relationships. As a human being I rely heavily on contact with other

people because without those relationships how do I know I exist? Being a

knowledgable person causes conflict in the social world by asking the smart person to

do dumb stuff. The average man finds mental stimulation in a video game where a

smart man finds it in how the video game works. The difference may seem subtle, but

the effects are huge. A smart man won’t want to play video games or sit around

watching T.V. like the average man. This causes a social gap that can lead to personal

isolation and that is why I think knowledge causes a social burden.

With these two points in mind I’m not saying it’s better to be dumb or ignorant. What I

am saying goes hand-in-hand with a much older and well known saying, “Too much of

anything is a bad thing.” Too much knowledge is just as burdensome as too much

ignorance, it is a balance of both that gives a person the benefit.

Score Explanation

This essay displays competent critical thinking by developing a point of view (Too

much knowledge is just as burdensome as too much ignorance, it is a balance of both

that gives a person the benefit) and supporting the position with adequate reasons

illustrating the “psychological” and “social” burdens of being “a knowledgable person.”

Despite a few lapses, the essay is generally organized and focused on its argument,

displaying some coherence and progression of ideas (The average man finds mental

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stimulation in a video game where a smart man finds it in how the video game works.

The difference may seem subtle, but the effects are huge. . . . This causes a social

gap that can lead to personal isolation and that is why I think knowledge causes a

social burden). Facility in the use of language is adequate but inconsistent, and some

variety in sentence structure appears (But being somewhat knowledgable myself, I

know that there are hundreds of times when I don’t know the right answer and I

don’t want to make the right choice). In order to earn a higher score, the writer must

argue more persuasively that knowledge is “not really” a benefit in life, perhaps by

adding more specific details from history, literature, or personal experience.

Demonstrating adequate mastery, this essay merits a score of 4.

Sample Essay - Score of 4

Although rarely an issue knowledge can be a burden rather than a benefit. As shown in

Plato’s allegory of the cave, knowledge comes with a responsibility to enlighten others,

and share what you have learned. Also, knowledge can become a burden in another

form. In the movie A Beautiful Mind, the main character’s genius is what causes him to

slowly lose his mind. In both cases the main character is burden with their knowledge,

whether as a responsibilty or as an illness. Ignorance is bliss because what you don’t

know can’t burden you with its weight.

Plato’s Allegory of the Cave describes a man’s journey towards enlightenment,

knowledge and wisdom. It is a long and strenous expierence that takes many years to

finish. Once he had reached the final stage, he was morally obligated to share what he

learned with those who still lived in ignorance. However, it was not as easy as he

expected. No matter how hard he tried to enlighten his former peers, the all saw him as

crazy and insane. In the end he was ripped into shreds by his people. His burden of

knowledge was to teach others what he had learned, however, he was not able to do it

and was killed.

Another example in which knowledge became a burden was in the movie A Beautiful

Mind starring Russel Crowe. Russel Crowe played a brilliant mathmatician who is slowly

driven to insanity by his genius. For his mind knowledge is a drug, a drug the mind

wants more and more. The harder Russel Crowe’s character searches for the truth, the

crazier he becomes. The knowledge that floats in his mind becomes too heavy of a

burden and his mind cracks.

Many say ignorance is bliss, and in some cases it is true. The mind and body cannot be

burden by what it doesn’t know. As shown in the Allegory of the Cave, and A Beautiful

Mind, knowledge can be a great burden. A burden which compromised one character’s

life, and the other their mind. While being knowledgeable is a benefit, too much is a

burden which will bring about one’s downfall.

Score Explanation

This essay develops a point of view (While being knowledgeable is a benefit, too much

is a burden which will bring about one’s downfall) and demonstrates competent

critical thinking, supporting the position with adequate evidence drawn from literature

and film, although this evidence could have been more consistently developed.

Generally focused on its examples, the essay exhibits some coherence and

progression of ideas (Russel Crowe played a brilliant mathmatician who is slowly

driven to insanity by his genius. . . . The harder Russel Crowe’s character searches for

the truth, the crazier he becomes). The essay displays adequate but inconsistent

facility in the use of language, using generally appropriate vocabulary, and

demonstrates some variety in sentence structure (Once he had reached the final

stage, he was morally obligated to share what he learned with those who still lived in

ignorance). To achieve a higher score, the writer must use critical thinking to contrast

knowledge and ignorance more effectively—is ignorance really “bliss”?—and exhibit

greater facility in the use of language. As a whole, this response displays adequate

mastery and merits a score of 4.

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Section 1

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Section 4

Section 5

Section 6

Section 7

Section 8

Section 9

Section 10

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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays

These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here

for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without

any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is

provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.

View Essay Scores:

Sample Essay - Score of 3

Some say “Knowledge is power”, and like power it can, at times, be a dangerous thing.

It may be true that knowledge has its downfalls, but that is true with all things in life

and its benefits outweigh its burdensome qualities, for knowledge has the ability to

better the world in regards to technology and is an incredibly powerful tool.

Technology is one of the hotly debated issues of our time, people are constantly arguing

has it gone too far?, is it out of control? these questions can be asked about the major

developments of technology gained through knowledge. Some of these developments

are dangerous such as weapons like nuclear weapons, but there have been so many

other useful inventions that have bettered society, such as, the computer (making work

more efficient) or advancements made in medicine with the use of knowledge.

Knowledge is powerful in the way that it has so many abilities, the ability to

compromise, to solve problems, and ultimately leads to an open-mind. Without

knowledge, there is ignorance. Ignorance leads to far greater problems and conflicts

than knowledge is able to contribute. Knowledge has the ability to bring two sides

together, to better the world one problem at a time.

Obviously knowledge is burdensome and has its flaws, but so does everything else in

our world today. One should not overlook its benefits for there are far more of them

than its problematic characteristics. The power of knowledge is a privilige and should be

treated as such, it requires responsibility.

Score Explanation

This essay demonstrates some critical thinking as it develops the point of view that

the benefits of knowledge “outweigh its burdensome qualities.” However, the reasons

and examples provided are brief and limited in focus, resulting in inadequate support

for the position. Although the essay is somewhat organized and focused on the idea

that “knowledge has the ability to better the world . . . and is an incredibly powerful

tool,” reliance on generalizations leads to some lapses in the progression of ideas

(Without knowledge, there is ignorance. Ignorance leads to far greater problems and

conflicts than knowledge is able to contribute. Knowledge has the ability to bring two

sides together, to better the world one problem at a time). The essay exhibits

developing facility in the use of language, but it sometimes uses weak and repetitive

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vocabulary (It may be true that knowledge has its downfalls, but that is true with all

things in life). To earn a higher score, the writer must exhibit improved control of

grammar, usage, and mechanics and provide focused and detailed evidence that

effectively develops the point of view. Overall, this essay demonstrates developing

mastery and earns a score of 3.

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Section 1

Section 2

Section 4

Section 5

Section 6

Section 7

Section 8

Section 9

Section 10

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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays

These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here

for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without

any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is

provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.

View Essay Scores:

Sample Essay - Score of 2

Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit? Yes, because it beyond people

control, and people have to know how to do many things. We don’t know where, when,

or even whether this know-how should be used. I agree because if someone who knows

you are very smart will as you something that is impossible to figure out, and you don’t

know where to start or answer there questions. For example knowledge can be a

burden rather than a benefit. For example Dr. Phill, and Oprah has to come up with

ways to meet people needs, and wants.

Dr. Phill is a well educated person that give people advice that will later help them out

in life. Sometimes he don’t know how to start explaining what that person could do to

help their situation. At a point all that knowledge he has, becomes a burden to have

instead of a benefit for help out people with their problems. Every time a person ask

him a questions by his knowledge our experience he has to respond by telling he or she

the truth. There alot of situation Dr. Phill had to fix, but his knowledge sometimes goes

out of control.

Oprah is another well eduacted person, she also has alot of knowledge. She could stop

some of famine in Africa, and help out people in Africa. There are things like disease,

and tedious labor that Oprah cant fix, and that becomes beyond her control. It it

becomes a burden to her, because she don’t know what medicine to give them. Rather

then benefiting from seeing Africa people not hunger more, or without a house.

My conclusion is that knowledge could be a burden rather than a benifit. Knowledge is

power, but sometimes that knowledge becomes so powerful that it is beyond your

control. When you have knowledge and power you could help people, but knowledge is

out of control, it becomes a burden to you. So I do agree with the critical, that

knowledge could be a burden rather than a benifit.

Score Explanation

Demonstrating weak critical thinking, this essay offers a vague point of view

(Knowledge is power, but sometimes that knowledge becomes so powerful that it is

beyond your control) and provides reasons and examples that are insufficient to

support the position. The evidence provided is poorly organized and focused, resulting

in serious problems with coherence and progression of ideas (Oprah is another well

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eduacted person . . . . There are things like disease, and tedious labor that Oprah

cant fix, and that becomes beyond her control. It it becomes a burden to her,

because she don’t know what medicine to give them). The essay seldom uses

vocabulary that goes beyond repetition of the prompt, and serious problems in

grammar, usage, and mechanics occur (There alot of situation Dr. Phill had to fix, but

his knowledge sometimes goes out of control). To earn a higher score, the writer

needs to exhibit much greater control in his or her use of language and provide more

detailed evidence to clarify and support the position. As a whole, this essay

demonstrates little mastery and receives a score of 2.

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Section 1

Section 2

Section 4

Section 5

Section 6

Section 7

Section 8

Section 9

Section 10

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Book Test 3: View Sample Essays

These sample essays were originally handwritten by students but are shown typed here

for ease of reading. The essays are displayed exactly as students wrote them, without

any corrections to spelling, punctuation, or syntax. One handwritten sample essay is

provided to illustrate the need for legible and clear handwriting.

View Essay Scores:

Sample Essay - Score of 1

Knowledge can be a burden more than a benefit. for when you know how to do some

thing well one may be called apon to do it over and over. leveing no time for other

thing in his or her life. Shuch as knowing how to fix computers. I know this becuse I

get called out of class 95% of the time that im in school. So knowledge is a burden not

a benefit. maybe it will be come a benefit some time down the rode but not any time

soon.

Score Explanation

This essay offers a point of view (Knowledge can be a burden more than a benefit)

but provides too little evidence to support the position. The few ideas presented are

unfocused, resulting in a disjointed essay (for when you know how to do some thing

well one may be called apon to do it over and over. leveing no time for other thing in

his or her life. Shuch as knowing how to fix computers. I know this becuse I get called

out of class 95% of the time that im in school). Sentence fragments and pervasive

errors in usage and mechanics interfere with meaning. In order to earn a higher

score, the writer needs to provide clear, developed reasons and/or examples in

support of the position. Demonstrating very little mastery, this essay receives a score

of 1.

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