MoralInjury:SpiritualResiliencyandSoulRepair
Rev.RitaNakashimaBrock,Ph.D.,ResearchProfessorofTheologyandCultureandFoundingCo-DirectoroftheSoulRepairCenteratBriteDivinitySchool,www.soulrepair.org
ThedaughterofanArmyveteranofKoreaandthestepdaughterofanArmyveteranofWorldWarIIandVietnam,Dr.Brockwasraisedinamilitaryfamily.Shewasaprofessorfor18yearsbeforebecomingDirectorofathink-tankfordistinguishedscholarsatHarvardUniversity—theRadcliffeInstituteforAdvancedStudy.From2001-2002,shewasafellowattheHarvardDivinitySchoolCenterforValuesinPublicLife.Aninternationallydistinguishedlecturerandaward-winningauthor,hermostrecentbookisSoulRepair:RecoveringfromMoralInjuryAfterWar,co-authoredwithGabriellaLettini.
MoralInjuryis:Theviolationofwhat’srightbyapersoninauthorityinahighstakessituation.
--JonathanShayAchillesinVietnam:CombattraumaandtheUndoingofCharacter.NewYork:AtheneumimprintofMacmillan,1998.
‘MoralInjury’isatermusedtodescribeasyndromeofshame,self-handicapping,anger,anddemoralizationthatoccurswhendeeplyheldbeliefsandexpectationsaboutmoralandethicalconductaretransgressed.Itisdistinctfromalifethreatasitisalsonotinherentlyfear-based;rather,duringwar,moralinjurycanarisefromkilling,perpetrationofviolence,betrayalsoftrustinleaders,witnessingdepravedbehavior,orfailingtopreventseriousunethicalacts.
--B.Litz,et.al.,AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury,p.21Whendoeswarend?(numbersrefertoreferencesbelow)
• Whenthetroopscomehome,warremainswiththem,andthestruggletoreturntocivilianlifecanfeelworsethancombat.(1,8,13)
• Thegreaterthesenseofpersonalresponsibilityforanactofwar,thehigherthesuiciderisk.(11)• Veteranswhohavekilledhavea3timesgreaterrateofsuicidethanothervets,independentof
otherfactorssuchasPTSD,depression,andaddiction.(11)• Ratesinyoungervetsandactivedutymilitaryhavebeenrisingsince2005.NCOratesarehigherthan
officers.Womenhavehigherratesthanmen,withanestimatedfourtosixtimeshigherrateofmilitarysexualassault(Note:53%ofvictimsareMALE)andhigherpost-traumaticstressrates.Overallveteransuicideratesaresquishy,withonly20statesreporting(withoutTexasorCalifornia),butareminimally22adayorthreetimescivilianrates.(1)
• Around52,000veteransofOEFandOIFhavephysicalinjuries.Around500,000(tentimesasmany)or25%havesoughtVAhelpforinvisiblewoundslikeposttraumaticstressandover50%admitstrugglingwiththereturnhome.(8)
• Familieshavetodealwiththestressesofdeploymentsandthestressesofhavingadifferentpersoncomehome.Wecannotexpectthemtohandleallthedifficultiesofcombatantscominghome.(8)
HowMoralFormationHappensfromAges2to28(CortexOrganizationandDevelopment)
• Mimicryofcaregiversviamirrorneuronsformsneuralpathwaysviaattentionandrepetitionsomoralbehaviorisnotconscious(“Dumbfounding”—peopleordinarilybehavemorallyviabodymemory,withoutconsciousintent).Neuroplasticitycontinuesthroughoutlifeaswelearnnewskillsviaattentionandrepetition.
• Ritualteachesandorganizesmoralvalues(ritual=directed,prescribed,repeatedbehaviorsthatbecomehabitualwithinaculturalmeaningsystem)ascapacitytothinkandorganizememorygrows.
• Ritualdeliversmeaning(valuesystem)withfeeling(relationshipstructures)tolinguisticpatterns(words)andnarratives(storiesand/orreligiousmyths),sodoingrituallinkstomeaningandfeeling.
• Feelingsarecontagiousatunconsciouslevelsbecauseofourconstantattunementtoothers.• Moralreasoningisgroundedinmeaningframesandbecomesnecessarywhenmoralconflictsarise.• Ritualreconditioning,ifintenseandprolonged,canlayernewmoralsystemsontopofearlierones,
especiallyinformativestagesoflateadolescenceandearlyadulthood.• Previousmoralsystemsarenotfullyerased,butfunctionlikeapalimpsest(fromGrk:pálinagain+
psēstósscraped,rubbed;avellumorparchmentmanuscriptpagefromascrollorbook,fromwhichthetexthasbeeneitherscrapedorwashedoffsothatthepagecanbereused.Erasedmaterialbleeds
throughorcanbedetectedviaUVlight.)Oldcontentcanberetainedandchallengenewsystems,orremainasatelltaletracethathauntsthenewsystem.
• Transitioningfromonemoralsystemtoanothercancausestruggleorevenimpassewhenintegratingconflictingsystems(ex.Killingiscriminalvs.killingenemiesisgood).
WhatisSoulorSpirit?
• EmotionalConnectionofResonancewithExistentialSelf-Awareness(self-otherdistinction)ü Vicariousemotions:bodilyandemotionalawarenessofinternalstateofothersbutawareness
thatthisisnotpersonal(notemotionalcontagionbutemotionalengagementwithothers)ü Awarenessofdifferencebetweenselfandotherthatevokesdesiretohelpthoseindistress,
withoutconfusingselfandother—akindofemotionalmirroring(doesnotrequiresympathy,i.e.havinghadasimilarexperience)
ü Mentalflexibility,perspective,andself-regulation(i.e.painregulationandeffortfulself-control)=integrationoffeelingandthinking
• DeepConnectiontoHumanityinOthersandtoGoodnessofLifeBeyondSelf• CapacityforTrust,Love,Generosity,Gratitude,Play,InnerPeace,andCalm—the“stillpointina
storm”• EmpathyandConscienceviaPresenceandFocusedAwarenessofSelfandOther
TheBrain-BodySelf
Brainhasthreelayersthatinteractwiththebody.
1. Lowerbrainstemthatcontrolsfunctionslikebreathing,heartrate,digestion,etc.
2. MidBrainorlimbicsystem(enlargedinMRIPTSDimage)controlsperception,emotions,andmemoryprocesses.Regulateshowwerelatetotheworldaroundusviaperceptionandemotionsthatdetermineresponses,oftenbeforeconsciousthought.Extremeemotionscanbedifficulttooverridebythinking.Esp.theAmygdala=thefearcenter.
3. Top(topofMRIimages),calledprefrontalcortexorexecutivebrain,managesmoralreasoning,behavior,pattern,andtimemanagement,andprocessesmeaning,empathy,andnarrativememory.
MilitaryTrainingChangesEarlierCivilianMoralSystemfor“BattleReadiness”
• BasicTrainingSocializestoaNewMoralSystemviaRitualwithinaTotalSystemü Intense,prolonged,severereconditioningofwholepersontorestrictattachmenttopersonal
identity.ü Focusedgroupethosandbonding.ü Strong,ritualized,controlledaspectsofallactivities(includingsleep,foodconsumption,
elimination,walking,etc.),withmessagingandnew,insiderlanguage.ü Emphasizesnewmoralcodes:candor,commitment,courage,confidence,competence,
camaraderie,rulesofengagement.ü Teachesreflexivefiretraininginshootingtospeedresponsesandassureskill.ü Collectiveconsequencesforindividualfailure.
• MilitaryTrainingisthoroughandpreparespeopleforvariousrolesinwar.ü Warprovesvalueoftraining.Theymustacceptresponsibilityforexercisinglethalpower
underordersandonbehalfofthenation,whichsendsthemandpaysforit.ü Failureofdutyandincompetencecanhavelifeanddeathconsequences.
PostTraumaticStressIsARealInjury
War:HighStressConditionsofViolencewithSituationsofMoralAmbiguityandTraumaticInjury
• PTSDdefinedasatrauma-relateddisorder,withterror-relatedsymptoms.(20)• Extremeterror(includingangerandaggression)canoverstimulatefearcenters,whichgrowto
handleoverloadoffearandbecomeoveractive.Thinkingcortexlosestissueandweakens.• PTSDdiagnosisisstress-traumaproblemwithdominationbyfearresponses:hyper-vigilance,
startlereflex,panicattacks,shallowbreaths,agoraphobia,etc..• Fearshutsdownmemoryprocessing(hippocampus)sostoredexperiencesarescattered,
disorganized.Memoryparasitescaneruptasflashbacksornightmares,dissociativedisorders.
DiagrambyBillNashinWoods,D.(19)EmotionsInvolvedinMoralInjury
• Anger,Outrage—J.Shay(15)referstoberserkrageatbetrayalbyauthoritiesinVietnamgeneration.• Embarrassment• Guilt—outwardmovingtorepairrelationship,survivorguilt,guiltatnotdeploying• Failure—unabletosavefriendorcompletemission• Shame—comprehensiveself-condemnation,isolating,self-loathing• Alienation—hidinginnerself,feelingunworthyofloveorfearingthatotherswilljudge,feeling
dividedwithinoneself• Humiliation—whenshameismadepublic• Remorse—regretandurgetomakeamends• Grief—inabiitytoprocessmassivelosses,canpresentasanger• Despair—nowaytobecomedecentselfagain,depression
Relation)of)PTSD)to)Moral)Injury)
Documentary“Korengal”:SgtBrendonO’Byrne,USAAirbornereflectingonhisexperienceatCampRestrepointheKorengalValleyofAfghanistan.
IstartedthinkingthatGodhatesme…I'mnotreligiousoranything,butIfeltliketherewasthishateforme....That'stheterriblethingofwar.Youdoterriblethingsandyouhavetolivewiththemafterwardsbutyou'ddothemthesamewayifyouhadtogoback.Sowhatdoyoudo?It'sanevil,evil,evilthinginsideyourbody.It'slike…goodversusevilinsidethere….
MoralDisruptionsofWar• ReflexiveFireTraining–shootingwithoutthinking• DehumanizationofEnemy–alsodehumanizesself• EncounteringandHandlinghumanremains–traumaticencounterswithdeathandthedead• Killing,espkillingoutsiderulesofengagement
• Noncombatants• Friendlyfire• Rage,elation,orvengeancekilling
• FailuretoSaveOthers–Losingabattlebuddy• FailureofLeadership• Doubtaboutgoalsormission• LossofFaithandMeaning• SexualAssault—betrayalbyfellowsoldiers• BetrayalbyAuthorities–Vietnamgeneration
LossesinComingHomeandBecomingaCivilian
• Lossofclosestfriends;isolationfromunit• Lossofinnocenceorsenseofgoodness• Lossofunitdisciplineandsystemthatsustainedphysicalhealth• Lossofweapon• Lossofrole/purposeforothers• Lossoffamilyorcapacityforintimacy–conflict/divorce• Lossoffaithandmeaningcommunity• Lossofself—willneverbethesame,foreverchanged
MoralInjuryExposures:WhatTheyCan’tForget
“We are still living in the wreckage created by the Cabinet on which Mr. McNamara served. … The ghosts of those unlived lives circle close around Mr. McNamara. Surely he must in every quiet and prosperous moment hear the ceaseless whispers of those poor boys in the infantry, dying in the tall grass, platoon by platoon, for no purpose. What he took from them cannot be repaid by prime-time apology and stale tears, three decades late. …That black wall is wide with the names of people who died in a war that he did not, at first, carefully research or, in the end, believe to be necessary.”
--New York Times, April 12, 1995 Betrayal by authorities
AspectsofMoralInjury• Canemergelongaftereventsorexperiences,liketheresidueofapalimpsest.• Isanaspectofeverywarandmilitaryservice• CreatesIsolation• Canresultfromothertraumassuchasnaturaldisasters,sexualassault,etc.• Canaffectmanyprofessions(medical,lawenforcement,socialwork,ministry)• Canemergeas“secondary”REALtraumaincaregivers
SpiritualResiliencyandSoulRepair
Individual/SocialDimensionsofLong-termRecovery• Writingpersonalnarratives;externalizinginnerstruggleandtellingstorytoothersmanytimes.As
theyareretold,theolderlayersoftheselfcanemergeintheretellings,likeaUVlightthrownonthememories.
• Talkingtobenevolentmoralauthoritytoprocessmoralandtheologicalstruggles• Integratingmemory/storyintolargerpicture—gainperspectiveontrauma,ratherthanbecontrolled
bytrauma;asmemoryisprocessedovertime,itwillchangeasnewexperiencesaccumulate• Reconnectionwithestrangedothers,espfamily• Veteransupportsystems;findingcommunitybeyondotherveterans• RehumanizationofEnemies,lessenneedtohateorfear• CompanionsforSupport• Long-termaccountabilitycommunitytosustainprocess
Rituals
• Lamentationtoprocessgriefforvariouskindsoflosses.• Liminalspace(sequesteroutsideordinarytimeandspace—“eternalnow”)totransitionfrom
militarylifeandidentitytociviliancommunitythatunderstandsandcares(ex.NavajoEnemyway,orancientChristianpenancesystem).Thisprocessplacesanindividualstorywithinthecontextofalargeronetorestoremeaningandbelonging.
• Regularuseofarts,suchasmusic,dance,theater,writinggroups,visualart,tointegrateallthreebrainareasandprocessexperience.
• Findwaystorehumanizeenemies,restoreconnectionstolife,anddeepenvulnerabilityinrelationships.
• Formalcommissioningforserviceworkbeingpartofateam,othersymbolsofbelongingtoalargermissionandmeaningsystem.Individuallifematterstoothers.
Community/CongregationWork:
• Manypeoplecanhavemoralinjury,espthosewhoworkunderemergencylifeordeathconditions(medicalcaregivers,EMTs,lawenforcementofficers,prisonguards,gangmembers,peopleinnaturaldisasters,etc.)
• Preachonmoralinjuryandeducateyourentirecommunityaboutit• Encourageallinthecommunitytoreflectontheirrelationshiptowar,moralinjury,andmilitary
service,includingwhattheycanlearnfromveterans.
LifeHeldByRituals
§ Rhythmsoftheliturgicalyearbringrenewalviameaningsystemcreatedfromritualandstories
§ Transformationviaconstantrepetition(ritual)
§ Powerofarttointegrateviavisual,audial,kinesthetic,andsensualforms
§ Dramaticreenactmentofsacredstoriesoftraumaandredemption—powerofimagination
• Prepareawelcomingcontextbyü Offeringministriesofpresencethroughopenheartedacceptanceü Practicingdeeplistening(seedetailsbelow)ü Attendingtowaystocreatesafegatheringspacesforthosestrugglingwithpost-traumatic
stresssymptomsandmoralinjuryü Notexpectingallveteranswhoparticipateinprogramstoattendworshiporjointhechurch
• Thinkcreativelyabouthowpeoplecanbeinyourcommunity,iftheyarenotinterestedinorareunabletobeinregularworshipservices
ü Singinggroupswithritualsü Ministrythroughanimals(equinetherapy,servicedogs,andpets)ü SportsorFestivalsthathelprestoreplayfulness,relaxationü Prayer/meditationgroupsü Tension/TraumaReleaseActivities(http://traumaprevention.com/)ü Ritualsspecificallyforveteransandfriendsü HostingaMoralInjuryRecoveryGroup(seeCenterwebsiteforbookletunder“Resources”)
• Organizegroupsthatfacilitatetellingpersonalstories(storiesneedtobetoldmultipletimesforapersontogetcontroloftheirstory)
ü Discussiongroupstostudymemoirs,warnovels,poetry,oressays(sixweekstudyguideforthebookSoulRepairattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)
ü MoralinjuryRecoveryGroupü Writinggroupsusingwritingpromptstocreatepoetryorpersonalstoriesü Artcreationgroups,visual,kinesthetic,musical,literary,etc.
• Developritualpracticegroupstolearnandsustainembodiedcalmingprocesses,reflection,spiritualdisciplines
ü Meditationü ContemplativePrayerü Yogaü LabyrinthWalking
• OfferopportunitiesforServicetoOthersandWaystoInteractwhilerestoringbalanceofgoodintheworld(TikkunOlam,repairingtheworld)
• Workwithcampusministersandemployerstoeducatecommunitiesaboutmoralinjuryandhowtosupportrecovery—don’ttreatveteransasaspecialneedspopulation,butaspeoplewhocontributetothecommunityandexperiencenormalhumanreactionstoextremecircumstancesandstress.
• Encouragetheologicalschoolstoteachcoursesonmoralinjury(asamplesyllabusisattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)
Rememberthatmoralinjuryisnotadisorder,butanormalhumanresponsetoextremityandthedisruptiveimpactonthehumansoulofviolenceandmoralfailure.Respectforveteransmeanswemustbewillingtolistenandlearnfromthem,toacceptourresponsibilityforwhattheywereaskedtodoonourbehalf(whetherornotweagreedwithit)andtobefriendthem,ratherthanthinkingthatwearetakingcareoforsavingthem.Ittakesalongjourneyforallofustorecover,butrecoveryispossible.JoinourFacebookdiscussionandinformationgroup—MoralInjury:RebuildingtheHouse
Visittheresourcespageatwww.brite.edu/soulrepair
Youwillfindanannotatedbibliographyoffictionandnonfictionbooksaswellasnewsarticles,essays,blogs,films,andvideos.Thereareresourcesforcongregations,forscholarsandclergy,andforthegeneralpublic.
Ifyoufindausefulresourcethatisnotlisted,[email protected].
ProfessionalSelf-Care
FactorsinProfessionalBurnout• Stressfuljob(HighStakes,Lackof
Control)• Constantneedfordocumentation• Hostileorincompetentauthority
environment
• ReducedSenseofPersonalAccomplishment
• Inadequatedowntimeorrest• Lonelyorisolatedbyrankorjob• FamilyPressure
ThingstodoinSelf-Care• Taketimetoreflectandpauseto
think• Talktoyourselfasanother
person
• Keepajournalandwritedaily• Learnaspiritualpracticetocalm
down
Referencesforthispowerpoint:
1. “2012SuicideDataReport:VHAResponseandExecutiveSummary,”http://www.va.gov/opa/docs/response-and-execsum-suicide-data-report-2012-final.pdf.
2. Alcorta,C.S.andSosis,R.2005.“Ritual,Emotion,andSacredSymbols:TheEvolutionofReligionasanAdaptiveComplex.”HumanNature,vol.16,no.4:323–359.
KeyPiecesforRecov
ery
ü Processingmemoryü Feelingheardü Unseenwoundsacknowledged
ü Acceptingandprocessingmemories
andfeelingsü Retellingstorytogaincontrolof
memoryandthoughtprocess
ü RitualProcessesforTransformation
ü Rebuildingrelationshipsü Regainingamoralidentitythrough
contributionstoothers
Recovery((
SLEEP!!!!
3. Dewey,L.2004.WarandRedemptionTreatmentandRecoveryinCombat-RelatedTraumaticStressDisorder.BurlingtonVT:AshgatePubLtd.
4. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2013,“MoralityandMoralInjury:InsightsfromTheologyandHealthScience,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry,vol.33http://journals.sfu.ca/rpfs/index.php/rpfs/article/viewFile/262/261.
5. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2011.“AnExplorationoftheViabilityandUsefulnessoftheConstructofMoralInjuryinWarVeterans,”Traumatology.vol.17no.1,8-13.
6. Goodell,J.andHearn,J.E.2011.ShadeItBlack:DeathandafterinIraq.Philadelphia:CasematePublishers.
7. Hosek,J.ed.,2011,“HowisDeploymenttoIraqandAfghanistanaffectingU.S.serviceMembersandTheirFamilies?”RANDNationalDefenseResearchInstitute,http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/occasional_papers/2011/RAND_OP316.pdf.
8. Junger,S.Director.2014.“Korengal,”GoldCrestFilms.Levine,M.ed.http://korengalthemovie.com/.
9. Knowles,C.2013.“NotestowardaNeuropsychologyofMoralInjury,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry.vol.33
10. Maguen,S.,et.al.2011.“KillinginCombat,MentalHealthSymptoms,andSuicidalIdeationinIraqWarVeterans,”JournalofAnxietyDisorders25,no.4:563-567.
11. Nez.C.andAvila,J.S.2011.CodeTalker:TheFirstandOnlyMemoirByOneoftheOriginalNavajoCodeTalkersofWWII.NewYork:PenguinGroup.
12. PewResearchSocialandDemographicTrends,“WarandSacrificeinthePost-9/11Era:TheMilitary-CivilianGap,”Oct.5,2011,http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/10/05/war-and-sacrifice-in-the-post-911-era/
13. Schwartz,J.andBegley,S.2003.TheMindandtheBrain:NeuroplasticityandthePowerofMentalForce.NewYork,NY:HarperPerennial.
14. Shay,J.1994.AchillesinVietnam:CombatTraumaandtheUndoingofCharacter.NewYork:Scribner.
15. Synder,J.2014“’Blood,Guts,andGoreGalore’:Bodies,MoralPollution,andCombatTrauma”SymbolicInteraction.September2014.DOI:10.1002/SYMB.116.
16. VanDerKolk,B.2014.TheBodyKeepstheScore:Brain,Mind,andBodyintheHealingofTrauma.NewYork,NY:PenguinGroupLLC.
17. Verkamp,G.2005.MoralTreatmentofReturningWarriorsinEarlyMedievalandModernTimes.Scranton:UofScrantonPress.
18. Woods,D.,“MoralInjury,”HuffingtonPost,March18-20,2014,http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/moral-injury.
19. SeeVAwebsiteformanyresourcesonPTSD,http://www.ptsd.va.gov/RecommendedKeyResources:B.Litz,et.al.,AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury,New
York:GuilfordPress,2016.R.BrockandG.Lettini,SoulRepair:RecoveryfromMoralInjuryAfterWar,Boston:BeaconPress,
2012.W.P.Nash,et.al.,“PsychometricEvaluationoftheMoralInjuryEventsScale,”2013,v.178Issue6:
646-652.http://publications.amsus.org/doi/full/10.7205/MILMED-D-13-00017S.Rambo,SpiritandTrauma:ATheologyofRemaining,Louisville,KY:WestminsterJohnKnoxPress,
2010.“ChangingtheConversation:TheologizingWarintheTwentyFirstCentury,”TheologyToday,
69(4)441–462:“ShellyRambo:Thespacebetweendeathandresurrection,”July28,2014,
https://www.faithandleadership.com/qa/shelly-rambo-the-space-between-death-and-resurrection
ReflectivePractice,2013,Volume33,“SpiritualityinFormationandSupervision.”http://journals.sfu.ca/rpfs/index.php/rpfs/issue/view/49
M.Yandell,VeteransPanel,Midland,TXhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex_2pS6Ekkk
WaysofDeepListening1.Smallgroups:http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=15570
InTheSacredArtofListening,KayLindahlwrites:
There'ssomethingbeyondtechniquewhentwoormorepeoplearedeeplylisteningtoeachother.Itisanawarenessthatnotonlyarewepresenttoeachother,wearepresenttosomethingthatissacredhappeningtheliminalspaceofthespiritual.
Such"deeplistening"goesagainsttheculturalgrain.LindahlcitesresearchstudiesbytheInternationalListeningAssociation:wespendabout45percentofourtimelistening,butwearedistracted,preoccupied,orforgetfulabout75percentofthattime.Theaverageattentionspanforadultsisabout22seconds.Immediatelyafterlisteningtosomeonetalk,weusuallyrecallonlyabouthalfofwhatwe'veheard;withinafewhours,onlyabout20percent.
Herearesomeapproachesfordeeplistening.
l.Startwitharitual.Atthebeginning,lightacandleorsoundagong,forex.,tosignifythatthisisatimeforfocusedattention.Theritualmarksthespaceasspecialandheightensthefeelingofintimacyduringaconversation.
2.Listenforunderstanding,notjudgmentorevaluation.Giveyourfullattentiontothespeaker.Thisiseasiertodowhenyouarenotdistractedbyplanningwhatyouwanttosay,youropinion,orhowyoushouldtorespond.Knowingtherewillbenoquestionsandaskingpeopletositinsilenceaftersomeonespeaksallowswhatissaidtosettleintoourheartsandbereceived.Youarenottheretoanalyze,judge,ortrytofixanother'sexperience,justtobefullyawareofthemandtobepresenttothem.Lindahlwrites:"Youdonothavetoagreewithorbelieveanythingthatissaid.Yourjobistolistenforunderstanding."
3.Listenandspeakfromyourheart.Thismeansyoumustbeopenandvulnerable,willingtodescribeyouryearningsandadmityourfailings.Thelisteningspaceislesssafeplaceifwearenothearingwithopenmindsandlovinghearts--andmoreanxiousiflistenersrespondbyevaluatingandjudging—thesearewaysofkeepingothersoutofourhearts.
4.Respectthepoweranddifficultyofspeakingandaskfirstifyouwanttosharesomeone’sstory(thisagreementofwhetherornotcommentsneedtobeconfidentialshouldbedecidedaheadifthegroupisclosedandprivate).
Thisstyleoflisteningwithoutcommentisnotalwaysappropriate.Obviously,thereareoccasionswhenyouneedtobeengagedindialogueandyourresponsesareexpected.Buttrythisapproachtolisteningatleastsomeofthetime.Betrulypresenttothespeaker.Don'tbedistractedbyyourplans,assumptions,judgments,orneedtorespond.Experiencethedeepcommunionthatispossibleasyoudeeplylistentoanother.
2.ClassroomAttentive,ReceptiveListening:http://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/deep-listening
DeepListeningisawayofhearinginwhichwearefullypresentwithwhatishappeninginthemomentwithouttryingtocontrolitorjudgeit.Weletgoofourinnerclamoringandourusualassumptionsandlistenwithrespectforpreciselywhatisbeingsaid.
Forlisteningtobeeffective,werequireacontemplativemind:open,fresh,alert,attentive,calm,andreceptive.Weoftendonothaveaclearconceptoflisteningasanactiveprocess;weoftenseelisteningasapassive,staticactivity.Infact,listeningandacontemplativemindisopenandvibrantyetspacious,anditcanbecultivatedthroughinstructionandpractice.
Asaclassroompractice,deeplisteningrequiresthatstudentswitnesstheirthoughtsandemotionswhilemaintainingfocusedattentiononwhattheyarehearing.Ittrainsthemtopayfullattentiontothesoundofthewords,whileabandoningsuchhabitsasplanningtheirnextstatementorinterruptingthespeaker.Itisattentiveratherthanreactivelistening.Suchlisteningnotonlyincreasesretentionofmaterialbutencouragesinsightandthemakingofmeaning.
Inconversation,weareoftensofocusedonprojectingouropinionsanddefendingouragendathatwefailtohearthevoicesofothers.Thistendencyiswhydeeplisteningpracticeschallengethewaywe
normallyengageinconversation.Deeplisteningpracticesrelyonacommitmenttoself-controlandself-and-other-awareness.
3.Generalresource:http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/what_is_deep_listening.html
From"SlowingDowntotheSpeedofLove"
FromJoeBailey,alicensedpsychologist.
Deeplisteningoccurswhenyourmindisquiet.Yourthoughtsareflowingratherthancrowdingyourmindwithdistractions,interpretations,judgments,conclusions,orassumptions.Yourmindisopen,curious,interested--asthoughyouwerehearingthispersonforthefirsttime.
• Deeplisteningislisteningintentlyandopenly,wearen’tanalyzingorfiguringout--wearesimplylettingthefeelingsandsoundsaffectus.
• Deeplisteningisnotdefensive,argumentative,orintrusive.Itisnotaboutstrugglingtoanalyzeorinterpret.Itisapurelyreceptivestateofmind.Inastateofdeeplistening,werealizeouroneness.
• Werealizethatwearenotseparate,buttrulyonespirit--weareconnected.• Whenwelistendeeply,weletgoofanybeliefswehaveabouttheotherperson.Weletgoofour
prejudicesandpastmemoriesofhimorher.
PreparationviaMeditation:
• Trytositstableandstill,likeamountain.Berelaxedandalert.• Listentowhatyouhear.• Donotimagine,name,oranalyzewhatyouhear.Justlistenwithwide-openawareness.• Asthoughts,emotions,memories,associationsariseinyourmind,noticethem,gentlyletthemgo,
andreturntothespeaker.• Radarthatgoesoutlookingforsomethingandasatellitedishwithawiderangejustsitsinthe
backyard,waiting.Beasatellitedish.Stayturnedonandreceive.• Iftherearenosounds,listen,andrestinthesilence.
Deeplisteningappliesnotonlytocommunicationwithanother,butalsotolisteningtoourselvesandtolifeingeneral.Thegoalofdeeplisteningistohearbeyondthewordsoftheotherpersonandyourself,totheessenceofwhatthewordsandfeelingsarepointingto.Yourmindandheartarejoinedinunion--youarelisteningwholeheartedly.
Thegoalofdeeplisteningistobetouchedbytheotherperson,embracehisorherstoryandtruth,andtoheartheessenceofwhatheorsheissaying.Deeplisteningisbasedonempathyandrespect.Informationprovidedheremaybeusedwithpropercitation.
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