Hello readers. Once again, I am here to warn you all about an awful
new book by Dav Pinkley, called “Captain Underpants and the Perilous
Plot of Professor Poopypants.”
The story is about an inventor named “Professor Poopypants”, who
gets a job teaching science at an elementary school. For some reason, the
children think his name is funny. Let me assure you, it is not! The boys
and girls laugh at the poor professor until he „snaps‟, and devises a
horrifying plot to take over the world.
Again we are subjected to the foolishness of two juvenile delinquents
named George and Harold. Not only do they destroy the teacher‟s lounge
with their senseless pranks, but they also make two highly offensive comic
books. These disrespectful comics
contain poor taste, poor grammar, and
many misspelled words. For shame!
Lastly but not leastly, I should warn
all readers that this book contains very
naughty language. Within this books‟ pages you
will find offensive characters named
“Poopsie Chucklebutt,” “Chim-chim Diaperbrains,” and even “Tippy Tinkletrousers!”
What is wrong with Dav Pinkey? Why must he continue to create such rubbish?
Does he think potty-mouthed bathroom humor is funny? Well I for one do not!
On a brighter note, my dear sister, Tushie, has joined me in my campaign to stamp
out this awful book. This spring, we will be going from town to town passing out
Cafeteria
Dandelion
Doom
George
Harold
Jennifer
KaBlooooosh
Klax
Krupp
Ladies
Nerds
Principal
School
Spaceship
Underpants
Wedgie
Zombie
Zorx
they turned sideways and could no longer be located.
But perhaps the most horrifying result of this
tomfoolery occurred while Skippy McNarfle (age 9)
was vacationing with his family in the tiny country of
Algenzania. Skippy shouted “Ka-Blooooosh!” on a
crowded street corner, not knowing that this word
(loosely translated in Algenzaneese) means “Please
put a chicken in my father‟s nose”.
Later, after several hours of surgery in a nearby
hospital, Skippy‟s father successfully had two chickens
removed from his nose. The chickens survived, but
Skippy‟s father punished the boy by making him watch
a Billy Crystal movie. A spokesperson for the United
Children’s Council called the punishment “cruel and
unusual”, and the ACLU is now pressing formal
charges against the father.
Meanwhile in the United States, many concerned
parents groups are calling for a ban on the Captain
Underpants books, stating that they are “almost as evil
as the Harry Potter books”.
Upon hearing this statement, Dav Pilkey (author of
the Captain Underpants series) defended his books by
stating, “Hey wait a minute— my books are WAY more
evil than the Harry Potter books!” Later, Mr. Pilkey
retracted his statement, saying that he had been
temporarily confused by the Muggles.
-Ingrid Ashley, Eyewitness News
(reprinted with permission)
The publication of the
Captain Underpants books
has long inspired anger and
protest from many parents
groups in the U.S. and
abroad. But the third book
in the series has given
humorless grown-ups
something new to gripe
about.
Apparently, the book
(pictured left) contains a
chapter which encourages
children to shout the word “Ka-Blooooosh!” as
loudly as they can, and assures children that they will
not get in trouble for doing so. But in the past three
months, The Blue Sky Press (publisher of the book)
has
received over 17,000 letters from children who
claim to have gotten in trouble for their outbursts.
One child, Jessica Zamboni (age 11) of Scottsdale,
AK, was reading at the circus when she shouted the
dreaded word. Her outburst frightened an elephant,
who fell off of a tall riser and landed on two clowns
named “Chubby” and “Chunky”. Although the
clowns were not fatally injured, they later had to
change their names to “Thinny” and “Flatty”.
Neither clown could be reached for comment after
Dear readers,
I was really sorry to hear that you got in trouble for shouting
“Ka-Blooooosh!”, so to make it up to you, I’ve created this
exclusive newsletter just for you. In it you’ll find puzzles,
a fun prank, trivia, and jokes (including my favorite joke
in the whole world: the “Winnie the Pooh”
joke on page #2).
I hope you enjoy this newsletter.
Have fun, and keep reading!!!
Copyright © 1999 by Dav Pilkey. This publication may be photocopied and distributed for educational purposes, as long as it‟s free of charge.
3. What type of plant occasion-
ally turns evil and tries to eat
super heroes?
5. The Incredibly Naughty
_____Ladies from Outer Space.
7. What kind of dessert treats
did George and Harold write a
bogus recipe for?
9. Zorx and Klax’s buddy.
10. What kind of worms did
George put on his peanut
butter sandwich?
11. What liquid did Mr. Fyde
add to baking soda to make the
volcano erupt?
12. The ____ Paper of Justice.
1. Late one night, a __________
landed on the roof of Jerome Horwitz
Elementary School.
2. Hooray for Captain ___________!
4. The Waistband Warrior fights for
“Truth, Justice, and all that is Pre-
Shrunk and ________.”
6. Who is Harold’s best friend?
8. The students and teachers were
turned into lunchroom _____ nerds.
9. Captain Underpants got his super
powers from drinking “Extra-Strength
Super Power _____.”
Jokes ‘N
Riddles
Q) When is the best time to
go to the dentist?
A) “Tooth-Hurty”
Q) Why did Mr. Krupp go out
with a prune?
A) Because he couldn’t find
a date.
Q) What do you call “Frosty the
Snowman” in July?
A) “Drippy the Puddle”.
Q) Why did “Tigger” put his head
in the toilet?
A) He was looking for “Pooh”.
George: “Hooray! Ms. Ribble
said we’d have a big test today,
rain or shine!”
Harold: “What’s so great about
that?”
George: “It’s snowing!”
Harold: “Knock, knock”
George: “Who’s there?”
Harold: “Owls go”
George: “Owls go who?”
Harold: “They sure do!”
Q) What do “Alexander the Great”
and “Kermit the Frog” have in
common?
A) They both have the same
middle name.
TRIVIA These questions are from the third
“Captain Underpants” book, and
they’re kinda hard.
The answers are on page #4
1. What kind of tree
did Klax say the zombie
nerds would grow to the
size of? a) Old-Growth Cedars
b) Booga-Booga Trees
c) Xleqxisfp Trees
2. In George and
Harold’s comic book,
what kind of sauce did the
lunch ladies use to destroy
the Toilet Paper of
Justice?
a) Cafeteria Brand Hot
Pepper Sauce
b) Lunch Lady Brand
Salisbury Steak Sauce
c) Grouchy Old Lady Brand
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
It’s probably not a good idea to pull this prank on grown-ups.
(Note: This prank also works well with quarters.)
3. What magazine do the
Zombie Nerds like to read?
a) Omni
b) Better Homes and
Zombies
c) Martha Stewart‟s Dying
4. If you find Flip-O-Rama
offensive, you should run to
your nearest shoe store and
ask them to give you a:
a) wedgie
b) cheeseburger
c) spanking
5. “Super Evil Rapid
Growth Juice” contains no:
a) fat
b) M.S.G.
c) Artificial flavors or colors.