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Hello readers. Once again, I am here to warn you all about an awful new book by Dav Pinkley, called “Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants.” The story is about an inventor named “Professor Poopypants”, who gets a job teaching science at an elementary school. For some reason, the children think his name is funny. Let me assure you, it is not! The boys and girls laugh at the poor professor until he „snaps‟, and devises a horrifying plot to take over the world. Again we are subjected to the foolishness of two juvenile delinquents named George and Harold. Not only do they destroy the teacher‟s lounge with their senseless pranks, but they also make two highly offensive comic books. These disrespectful comics contain poor taste, poor grammar, and many misspelled words. For shame! Lastly but not leastly, I should warn all readers that this book contains very naughty language. Within this books‟ pages you will find offensive characters named Poopsie Chucklebutt,” “Chim-chim Diaperbrains,” and even “Tippy Tinkletrousers!” What is wrong with Dav Pinkey? Why must he continue to create such rubbish? Does he think potty-mouthed bathroom humor is funny? Well I for one do not! On a brighter note, my dear sister, Tushie, has joined me in my campaign to stamp out this awful book. This spring, we will be going from town to town passing out Cafeteria Dandelion Doom George Harold Jennifer KaBlooooosh Klax Krupp Ladies Nerds Principal School Spaceship Underpants Wedgie Zombie Zorx they turned sideways and could no longer be located. But perhaps the most horrifying result of this tomfoolery occurred while Skippy McNarfle (age 9) was vacationing with his family in the tiny country of Algenzania. Skippy shouted “Ka-Blooooosh!” on a crowded street corner, not knowing that this word (loosely translated in Algenzaneese) means “Please put a chicken in my father‟s nose”. Later, after several hours of surgery in a nearby hospital, Skippy‟s father successfully had two chickens removed from his nose. The chickens survived, but Skippy‟s father punished the boy by making him watch a Billy Crystal movie. A spokesperson for the United Children’s Council called the punishment “cruel and unusual”, and the ACLU is now pressing formal charges against the father. Meanwhile in the United States, many concerned parents groups are calling for a ban on the Captain Underpants books, stating that they are “almost as evil as the Harry Potter books”. Upon hearing this statement, Dav Pilkey (author of the Captain Underpants series) defended his books by stating, “Hey wait a minute— my books are WAY more evil than the Harry Potter books!” Later, Mr. Pilkey retracted his statement, saying that he had been temporarily confused by the Muggles. -Ingrid Ashley, Eyewitness News (reprinted with permission) The publication of the Captain Underpants books has long inspired anger and protest from many parents groups in the U.S. and abroad. But the third book in the series has given humorless grown-ups something new to gripe about. Apparently, the book (pictured left) contains a chapter which encourages children to shout the word “Ka-Blooooosh!” as loudly as they can, and assures children that they will not get in trouble for doing so. But in the past three months, The Blue Sky Press (publisher of the book) has received over 17,000 letters from children who claim to have gotten in trouble for their outbursts. One child, Jessica Zamboni (age 11) of Scottsdale, AK, was reading at the circus when she shouted the dreaded word. Her outburst frightened an elephant, who fell off of a tall riser and landed on two clowns named “Chubby” and “Chunky”. Although the clowns were not fatally injured, they later had to change their names to “Thinny” and “Flatty”. Neither clown could be reached for comment after Dear readers, I was really sorry to hear that you got in trouble for shouting Ka-Blooooosh!”, so to make it up to you, I’ve created this exclusive newsletter just for you. In it you’ll find puzzles, a fun prank, trivia, and jokes (including my favorite joke in the whole world: the “Winnie the Pooh” joke on page #2). I hope you enjoy this newsletter. Have fun, and keep reading!!! Copyright © 1999 by Dav Pilkey. This publication may be photocopied and distributed for educational purposes, as long as it‟s free of charge.

Dear readers, I was really sorry to hear that you got in ... · Hello readers. Once again, I am here to warn you all about an awful new book by Dav Pinkley, called “Captain Underpants

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Hello readers. Once again, I am here to warn you all about an awful

new book by Dav Pinkley, called “Captain Underpants and the Perilous

Plot of Professor Poopypants.”

The story is about an inventor named “Professor Poopypants”, who

gets a job teaching science at an elementary school. For some reason, the

children think his name is funny. Let me assure you, it is not! The boys

and girls laugh at the poor professor until he „snaps‟, and devises a

horrifying plot to take over the world.

Again we are subjected to the foolishness of two juvenile delinquents

named George and Harold. Not only do they destroy the teacher‟s lounge

with their senseless pranks, but they also make two highly offensive comic

books. These disrespectful comics

contain poor taste, poor grammar, and

many misspelled words. For shame!

Lastly but not leastly, I should warn

all readers that this book contains very

naughty language. Within this books‟ pages you

will find offensive characters named

“Poopsie Chucklebutt,” “Chim-chim Diaperbrains,” and even “Tippy Tinkletrousers!”

What is wrong with Dav Pinkey? Why must he continue to create such rubbish?

Does he think potty-mouthed bathroom humor is funny? Well I for one do not!

On a brighter note, my dear sister, Tushie, has joined me in my campaign to stamp

out this awful book. This spring, we will be going from town to town passing out

Cafeteria

Dandelion

Doom

George

Harold

Jennifer

KaBlooooosh

Klax

Krupp

Ladies

Nerds

Principal

School

Spaceship

Underpants

Wedgie

Zombie

Zorx

they turned sideways and could no longer be located.

But perhaps the most horrifying result of this

tomfoolery occurred while Skippy McNarfle (age 9)

was vacationing with his family in the tiny country of

Algenzania. Skippy shouted “Ka-Blooooosh!” on a

crowded street corner, not knowing that this word

(loosely translated in Algenzaneese) means “Please

put a chicken in my father‟s nose”.

Later, after several hours of surgery in a nearby

hospital, Skippy‟s father successfully had two chickens

removed from his nose. The chickens survived, but

Skippy‟s father punished the boy by making him watch

a Billy Crystal movie. A spokesperson for the United

Children’s Council called the punishment “cruel and

unusual”, and the ACLU is now pressing formal

charges against the father.

Meanwhile in the United States, many concerned

parents groups are calling for a ban on the Captain

Underpants books, stating that they are “almost as evil

as the Harry Potter books”.

Upon hearing this statement, Dav Pilkey (author of

the Captain Underpants series) defended his books by

stating, “Hey wait a minute— my books are WAY more

evil than the Harry Potter books!” Later, Mr. Pilkey

retracted his statement, saying that he had been

temporarily confused by the Muggles.

-Ingrid Ashley, Eyewitness News

(reprinted with permission)

The publication of the

Captain Underpants books

has long inspired anger and

protest from many parents

groups in the U.S. and

abroad. But the third book

in the series has given

humorless grown-ups

something new to gripe

about.

Apparently, the book

(pictured left) contains a

chapter which encourages

children to shout the word “Ka-Blooooosh!” as

loudly as they can, and assures children that they will

not get in trouble for doing so. But in the past three

months, The Blue Sky Press (publisher of the book)

has

received over 17,000 letters from children who

claim to have gotten in trouble for their outbursts.

One child, Jessica Zamboni (age 11) of Scottsdale,

AK, was reading at the circus when she shouted the

dreaded word. Her outburst frightened an elephant,

who fell off of a tall riser and landed on two clowns

named “Chubby” and “Chunky”. Although the

clowns were not fatally injured, they later had to

change their names to “Thinny” and “Flatty”.

Neither clown could be reached for comment after

Dear readers,

I was really sorry to hear that you got in trouble for shouting

“Ka-Blooooosh!”, so to make it up to you, I’ve created this

exclusive newsletter just for you. In it you’ll find puzzles,

a fun prank, trivia, and jokes (including my favorite joke

in the whole world: the “Winnie the Pooh”

joke on page #2).

I hope you enjoy this newsletter.

Have fun, and keep reading!!!

Copyright © 1999 by Dav Pilkey. This publication may be photocopied and distributed for educational purposes, as long as it‟s free of charge.

3. What type of plant occasion-

ally turns evil and tries to eat

super heroes?

5. The Incredibly Naughty

_____Ladies from Outer Space.

7. What kind of dessert treats

did George and Harold write a

bogus recipe for?

9. Zorx and Klax’s buddy.

10. What kind of worms did

George put on his peanut

butter sandwich?

11. What liquid did Mr. Fyde

add to baking soda to make the

volcano erupt?

12. The ____ Paper of Justice.

1. Late one night, a __________

landed on the roof of Jerome Horwitz

Elementary School.

2. Hooray for Captain ___________!

4. The Waistband Warrior fights for

“Truth, Justice, and all that is Pre-

Shrunk and ________.”

6. Who is Harold’s best friend?

8. The students and teachers were

turned into lunchroom _____ nerds.

9. Captain Underpants got his super

powers from drinking “Extra-Strength

Super Power _____.”

Jokes ‘N

Riddles

Q) When is the best time to

go to the dentist?

A) “Tooth-Hurty”

Q) Why did Mr. Krupp go out

with a prune?

A) Because he couldn’t find

a date.

Q) What do you call “Frosty the

Snowman” in July?

A) “Drippy the Puddle”.

Q) Why did “Tigger” put his head

in the toilet?

A) He was looking for “Pooh”.

George: “Hooray! Ms. Ribble

said we’d have a big test today,

rain or shine!”

Harold: “What’s so great about

that?”

George: “It’s snowing!”

Harold: “Knock, knock”

George: “Who’s there?”

Harold: “Owls go”

George: “Owls go who?”

Harold: “They sure do!”

Q) What do “Alexander the Great”

and “Kermit the Frog” have in

common?

A) They both have the same

middle name.

TRIVIA These questions are from the third

“Captain Underpants” book, and

they’re kinda hard.

The answers are on page #4

1. What kind of tree

did Klax say the zombie

nerds would grow to the

size of? a) Old-Growth Cedars

b) Booga-Booga Trees

c) Xleqxisfp Trees

2. In George and

Harold’s comic book,

what kind of sauce did the

lunch ladies use to destroy

the Toilet Paper of

Justice?

a) Cafeteria Brand Hot

Pepper Sauce

b) Lunch Lady Brand

Salisbury Steak Sauce

c) Grouchy Old Lady Brand

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

It’s probably not a good idea to pull this prank on grown-ups.

(Note: This prank also works well with quarters.)

3. What magazine do the

Zombie Nerds like to read?

a) Omni

b) Better Homes and

Zombies

c) Martha Stewart‟s Dying

4. If you find Flip-O-Rama

offensive, you should run to

your nearest shoe store and

ask them to give you a:

a) wedgie

b) cheeseburger

c) spanking

5. “Super Evil Rapid

Growth Juice” contains no:

a) fat

b) M.S.G.

c) Artificial flavors or colors.