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CHAPTER – 5
ATTITUDINAL VARIANCE: A LOGICAL CONSUMMATION
Anita Desai and Kamala Markandaya portray the world of
Indian married women as they perceive it. Writing in the second half
of the twentieth century, these writers do not profess any special
affinity for feminist theories nor do they reveal a strong, anti-male
stance anywhere. It is true that these novelists are rather concerned
with the disturbing question of the existence of women, but they were
not misogynists seeking a world without men. These novelists deal
with women belonging to both rural and urban, poor and upper
classes of the society. The protagonists depicted in their novels,
showed resemblance to each other in some respects. At the same time,
their individual characteristics have set them apart from each other
and contribute to the variety of protagonists that one comes across in
these novels.
The study of the selected novels of Anita Desai and Kamala
Markandaya reveal remarkable similarities and differences in their
attitudes and vision. They derive their material primarily from their
inward and outward (subjective and objective) experiences of life. Their
themes have a profound socio-cultural and psychological significance.
They have succeeded in capturing the transitional phases of the
rapidly changing roles of contemporary women in India. The
divergences between the two writers emerge only when the individual
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works are set against the specific psychological and socio-cultural
milieu.
Both the writers have captured the socio-cultural changes that
have radically affected the lives of women since the fifties. The
comparative study of these writers on the Concept of Indian Wife has
shed light on several aspects of Indian tradition and culture. A
comparative study of their fiction reveal the fundamental unity of
human perception; especially that of women’s perception. Both the
writers depict the real images of women in the Indian society. The
selected three novels of each writer have been explored to analyze the
main aspects regarding the life viz. marriage, migration, motherhood
and midlife of an Indian woman as wife. In their fiction women
characters are brought to the centre stage and their characters are
elaborately explored in bringing out their power. However, there is a
notable difference between the two writers with respect to the attitude
of their central characters towards life.
Desai’s women seem to put individuality above every thing else.
Most of them are basically tragic characters and introverts. They fail
to cope with their surroundings, their families and society. They are
psychologically disturbed, morbid, self-absorbed and incoherent in
their manners and expression. The desire to live and love clash so
violently in them, that their interpersonal relationships become
dissonant and jarring and drive them to withdrawal and alienation. Of
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course, Desai justifies her selection of solitary and introspective
characters. She says:
Well, I think, solitary and introspective people are always
very aware of living on the brink. Anyone of us might one
day face an experience which may push one over, but
perhaps my introspective characters are more aware than
others are of what lies on the other side.1
Desai is primarily concerned with the psychological problems of
neurotic women. Neuroticism is a psychological problem. Anita Desai
is highly interested in the presentation of the psychological problems
of neurotic women of all the ages. The description of psychological
problems becomes the base of her writings. Like Kamala Markandaya
she is well aware of social problems that affect the people in their
personal life. She believes that these social problems determine
human mind and finally human beings become the victims of their
problems.
Desai’s women remain within their orbits and protested against
lack of variety, injustice and humiliations. This does not mean that
Desai’s women do not desire for harmonious and peaceful life. They
have a desire for a deeper union of minds in conjugal relationship but
they are introverts who refuse to compromise and, they have the
inability to accept the perspective of their respective partners which
inevitably results in isolation and loneliness. Though Desai’s women
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are not fully cut off from familial and social ties their relationships
with others are characterized by dissonance and despair.
On the other hand, Markandaya’s women have a deep
understanding of life, love and concern towards family members, self-
sacrificing nature and also possess practical wisdom of life. They get
adjusted with the circumstances and feel that they have been happy
and will remain happy in future. This infuses in them a sense of
fulfillment and tranquility.
It is clear that Markandaya is a trenchant defender of
affirmative humanistic values. Her vision is downright realistic and
practicable rather than utopian. She places the chief characters
amidst various challenges of life in order to assert unconquerable
spirit of humanity. The women characters appear so real that one gets
a feeling that one has lived with them and known them most
intimately.
Passive acceptance, calm resignation is again and again
advocated so that one may bend and not break. This typical Indian
response to the human predicament is brought out in almost all
women characters. Though this spirit of passive acceptance may seem
to be a sign of weakness to Western eyes – but in reality it is a sign of
their strength. She gives utmost importance to Indian values of life.
Talking about her national pride, Meenakshi Mukerjee comments:
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Her national pride is seen in the fact that in each one of
her novels, it is the East which finally wins.2
Markandaya is of the opinion that Indian women should confidently
pursue her own path holding fast to her traditional values and using
methods appropriate to her culture. She should also try to assimilate
the best in Western culture. Hence, she presents typical Indian
women characters who are adherent strictly to Indian value system.
Her practical women characters appear seemingly happier than
Desai’s women.
The reason for happiness in Kamala Markandaya’s women or
gloominess in Anita Desai’s women is because of their attitude
towards life. It is the vision of life which makes the life happy or sad.
Man attains ultimate peace when he or she achieves what he or she
desires in life. The achievement of peace depends upon man’s vision of
life. Most of the human attitudes are shaped during formative years of
life. While men are born with tendencies towards temperaments, there
are some factors that largely determine the formation of attitude. Shiv
Khera, a personality development trainer, analyses the factors that
determine the formation of attitude in human beings as follows:
Attitudes in human beings are determined by three
factors. These are the triple E’s of attitude which include:
environment, experience and education. 3
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Environment consists of home atmosphere, cultural, social, religious
environments, traditions and beliefs etc. All these environments create
a culture. Every place - be it a home or a country - has a culture. In a
positive environment, the attitude of the individual is always positive.
In the same way, it is tough to expect positive behaviour in a negative
environment.
Similarly, human behaviour changes according to their
experiences with various people. If he or she has a positive experience
with persons, the attitude towards them is likely to be positive and
conversely negative experiences tend to make them cautious.
Experiences and events become reference points in one’s lives; he or
she draws conclusions which serve as guidelines for their future.
A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons. He
or she is always welcome. A positive attitude makes for a pleasing
personality which inspires others and increases enjoyment of life. It
also fosters better relationships and reduces stress in life by making
the atmosphere congenial.
For a person with negative attitude life becomes restricted. It
creates an unpleasant environment at home. These people find
difficulty in keeping friendships, marriages and relationships. Negative
attitude leads to bitterness and resentment which increases stress in
life. These people pass on their negative behaviour to others around
them and also to the future generations.
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Though human nature is aware of its negative attitude, it resists
change because change is uncomfortable. Regardless of its positive
and negative effect, change is often stressful. Sometimes one gets so
comfortable with their negativity that even when the change is for the
better, they don’t want to accept it. Thus the life becomes more and
more restricted.
Education refers to both formal and informal types. Indians
drown themselves in information but starve for knowledge and
wisdom. Strategically applied knowledge translates into wisdom which
in turn translates into success. Education whether formal or informal,
should not only teach human beings how to make a living but also
how to live. Hence, these factors shape the positive and negative
aspects of human beings.
Thus when the selected novels of Desai’s and Markandaya’s are
analyzed in the light of these aspects, they give a clear picture of how
the attitudes are formed during the formative years of childhood and
adolescence – combine the experiences and education that one
receives in certain environment.
Both Kamala Markandaya and Anita Desai believe that the
personality-pattern of parents, quality of their interaction with
children, and the disturbing or wholesome home environment, all
combine together to exert a lasting influence on the tender psyche of a
growing child. Both of them focus upon the abiding nature and far-
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reaching influence of these tenuous links between parents and
children on childhood. For Kamala Markandaya, the filial bonds
served as bulwark in one’s time of need and affliction. These enduring
ties, in her novels, become the broad edifice on which the later
relationships depend. For instance, at the tender age of twelve,
Rukmani (Nectar in a Sieve) understands her parents’ inability to
marry her to a rich man unlike her sisters. She does not show any
resentment towards her parents. Unlike Maya, (Cry, The Peacock) who
broods over the past, Rukmani praises her parents for preparing her
to face the challenges of life positively. She appreciates her father’s
foresight for teaching her the basics of reading and writing. But the
course of parent-child relationship is not consistently smooth in all
her novels. The economic pressures affect the solidarity of this
relationship in Nectar in a Sieve and in A Handful of Rice. But they are
neither bitter nor resentful. Inspite of poor economic status, Jayamma
and Apu (A Handful of Rice) welcome their married daughters
Thangam and Nalini along with their respective husbands and
children to stay with them. Being a mother, Jayamma has soft corner
for her daughters. She cannot see them suffer because of their useless
husbands. Similarly, when Ira takes to prostitution due to poverty, the
bonds between Ira and her parents become sour; but they do not
grumble at each other. In A Silence of Desire Sarojini and Dandekar
get through hell in their martial relationship but they are sincerely
concerned about the emotional needs of their children. Dandekar is
really disturbed when he sees his daughter in distress.
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The congenial home environment is required for the balance of
relationships. But in Anita’s world a wholesome satisfying emotional
interaction between the parents and children is not found. For
instance, over-pampering of Maya (Cry, The Peacock) by her father
becomes a stumbling block in her way of maturity which later
becomes the root cause of disillusionment in her marital ties. Sita’s
(Where Shall We Go This Summer?) lack of self-control and her
melodramatic tantrums are the result of her being neglected by her
father and rejected by her mother. The dubious ways of her father fill
her with anxiety, fear and distrust that make her wholly incapable of
having a balanced emotional interaction with her husband or
children. Raka (Fire on the Mountain) the great grand daughter of
Nanda is a victim of emotional deprivation as her father is a drunkard
and mother is in no condition to take care of her emotional needs.
Hence their uncongenial childhood environment provides them only
with a simple imprinting of an emotional bond. It does not become a
foundation for healthy interpersonal relationships and adjustments.
Regarding the aspect of experience of life, Maya and Sita belong
to an aristocracy of sensibility. Earning their daily bread is no problem
for them. They are not involved in the real business of living. They
have rather plenty of time for procrastination and musings that
become their bane – making them brittle. They have got nothing to
occupy themselves with. To some extent Nanda Kaul could live to be a
great grand-mother even though her martial relationship has been
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unbearable yoke for her. Her sense of duty and excessively busy life
saved her from disintegration. Desai’s women have idealized notions of
relationships and unusual expectations from those who are related.
These expectations lead to disharmony and despair in them. Caught
in the dichotomy between reality and idealism, they fail to derive the
innocent pleasure of living with the bewildering variety of human
beings. Their heightened sensibilities, idealistic notions and tendency
to expect more than what they gave make them feel fragmented and
unfulfilled.
Majority of Kamala’s characters are preoccupied with the issues
of physical survival. They have some vocation in their life. Sarojini (A
Silence of Desire) is busy bringing up her little son and looking after
her two daughters. Rukmani and Nalini are busy fighting against
annihilating forces of hunger and deprivation. In a way, Kamala
Markandaya’s novels provide platform of propaganda against the evils
of the society. She gives fresh insights into the ambivalence of change
in women and men and in human nature. She is convinced that
emancipation is closely linked to the eradication of poverty. This is the
reason why she deliberately wrote against hunger, want and depravity
that inevitably lead to spiritual hunger and apathy. Through Rukmani
and Nalini, the author exposes the harrowing experiences of the poor,
and urges the readers to find solutions. They do not have enough to
guarantee an ordinary mode of living; otherwise they can trace out all
the problems. Largely concerned with the present, they have no time
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to brood over the past and future. Their practical vision of life makes
them realists. Their experiences of life teach them to adapt themselves
to the situations that occur in their life. Markandaya opines that a
woman needs a vision of herself with power, enough to assert herself
in life, to motivate her and others around her towards the welfare of
the human race. On the contrary, the experiences of Anita’s
characters, teaches them to achieve harmony and tranquility by
alienating themselves and escaping from the demands and
expectations inherent in human ties.
Kamala Markandaya’s heroines are not formally educated like
Anita Desai’s heroines. But they have abundance of commonsense
called wisdom required for smooth running of life. For instance,
Rukmani, Nalini, and Sarojini are quick at modifying themselves
according to the changing circumstances. Kamala Markandaya stress
the importance of education. Through Rukmani and Nalini, she pleads
for better education and employment opportunities so that the
inherent biases in the social structure can be removed. Markandaya
feels that passive acceptance of life is clearly seen among illiterate and
superstitious women of rural India, than among women in the
sophisticated cities. However, due to lack of awareness the spirit of
passive acceptance enables them to tolerate much more than that
would have been possible otherwise. One will be amazed at their
tenacity and their endurance through extremes of poverty, hunger and
misery. They may bend, but their fatalism keeps them from breaking.
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She evolves towards a larger concept of universal love, caring and
concord which by its very extension ensures the endurance and
vitality of Indian womanhood, whereas Anita’s heroines, Maya, Nanda
and Sita though formally educated, turn inward or backward when
circumstances throw unexpected challenges to them. Kamala’s
heroines are aware of simple truths of happy living. For example,
when Rukmani and Sarojini become aware of illegal relationships of
their husbands, they do not commit the mistake of judging their
spouses from the bookish norms of morality or idealism. In fact, they
forgive them whole-heartedly without any inhibitions. When there is
an argument between Ravi and Nalini (A Handful of Rice) knowing
fully well of Ravi’s nature, Nalini withdraws from the argument.
After analyzing the characters of married women in the novels of
these writers’, it is clear that environment profiles, experiences of life
and education in real sense, played a vital role in shaping the
attitudes and visions of human life, irrespective of the gender. But the
attitude can be altered or changed according to the demands of the
circumstances. Hence, adults are responsible for their attitude and
behaviour regardless of environment, education and experience
The writers too stress the need for attitudinal change in women
to deal with their personal and marital problems. Along with the
effects of environment, experience and education, the writers have
discussed problems related to women viz. incompatibility in marriage,
divorce, hypersensitivity in women, suicidal temperament, problems of
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single-parent brought up, ethics and economic problems, idleness in
life, etc. in their novels. But they do not give direct possible solutions
to the problems of women. They present the problems and their effects
on the lives of women through their women characters. They leave it
to the choice of the readers to unravel the ways which suited the best
for the contemporary times.
When the women characters are analyzed in the vicinity of
marriage, it is observed that the incompatibility in their marital life is
due to lack of proper communication of their feelings to their life-
partners. Maya, Sita, Nanda Kaul, Kunthi, and Jayamma fail to
communicate their feelings to their spouses. One needs to
communicate impeccably to keep relationships flawless. With proper
communication, problems and misunderstandings between couples do
not grow. To keep up the marriages, one needs to focus on the best
and neglect all the rest. Rukmani and Nalini focuses on the best and
affirmative aspects related to their husbands. One should make the
time each day amid the chaos of everyday tasks to grow relationships
by offering a smile, a positive word, a caring gesture, etc. It is one way
of nurturing relationships. For instance, Sarojini never misses a smile
and caring gesture for her husband. Though it is not interesting for
her, she listens attentively to her husband’s narration about his office
and his colleagues. She understands the fact that, something
important to someone important to her should become important to
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her as well. This simple thought in this simple woman saves her
relationship with her husband.
Migrating to new place after marriage into the world of
strangers is always a source of anxiety and fear for woman. One needs
to be confident to adapt to the new conditions. Adapting to new
conditions and new people is like skiing in an uncertain weather. But
the true test of the ability is how one ski the hard times. Difficult
times are the ones that reveal what one is made up of. Turbulent
conditions actually elevate ones’ hidden potiential. When one
consistently move closer to what one is resisiting, it will build
confidence in the individual to face it. But people with negative
attitude blame the whole world – parents, spouses, the stress, fate,
luck – for their failures. Instead of facing the realities of life they try to
shield themselves in illusions and pretences. The women characters
Maya, Sita and Nanda always live in the world of fantasies insulating
themselves from the realities. But one should remember that what one
resist will persist and what one befriends will transcend.
Refusing to embrace the change in life leads to failure because
trying to stay safe in their comfort zone is actually putting themselves
in highly unsafe and dangerous zone. They have to get away from the
past and get back into the mainstream of life. When one deals with
fear in them, it will actually turn into power and introduce them to
their strength and stamina. One has to start looking for what is right
in a person or situation instead of looking for what is wrong. One has
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to count ones’ blessings, not the troubles. Every curse has
corresponding blessing. Each piece of adversity also carries with it a
new source of good. And every dream that dies, a better one can come
to life. One has to accentuate positive thoughts and eliminate negative
thoughts. But the tragedy is that people often merely analyze life
instead of dealing with it.
People dissect their failures for causes and effects, and seldom
deal with them and gain experience to master them and thereby avoid
their recurrence. One needs to be patient and persistent with the
process of change. One cannot draft failures of their life into success
by remaining struck in ones past. For instance, Maya (Cry, The
Peacock) could have saved herself from disintegration if she has come
out from the insulated world of dreamland to face the reality of this
world. Nanda (Fire on the Mountain) could also have been saved from
disgust if she has been her real self without isolating herself from
people who are close to her.
These women cannot save themselves because they fail to make
small adjustments in life. They could have been saved from
disintegration if they have sought the help of their elders in the family.
Maya and Nanda could have told their problems to their mothers-in-
law who are there with them for sometime. Elders with their
experience could have counseled them and might have suggested
some possible solutions to their problems. But unfortunately, these
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women being introverts could not express their feelings to anyone
close to them.
On the other hand, Sita though bit lately, realizes the
importance of togetherness, and achieved peace and harmony in her
life. As she has decided to compromise with her present life, she is
saved from disintegration. Markandaya’s characters understand what
forces determine the personal freedom. Rukmani, Nalini, Sarojini
emphasize the positive aspects of life and ignore the negative aspects
of life. The difference between Anita Desai’s and Kamala Markandaya’s
women lay in the way they make choices to evolve their lives’ destiny.
One cannot not control all the events that happen in lives, but can
control how one deals with them. If one has trust and focus of control
on one’s life, more decisions can be made avoiding external pressures.
Life is what one presumes it to be. Speaking about the destiny of life,
Abdul Kalam says:
Desire, when it stems from the heart and spirit, when it is
pure and intense, possesses awesome electromagnetic
energy. This energy is released into the ether each night,
as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it
returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic
current. That which has been imaged will surely and
certainly be manifested.4
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Hence destiny of ones’ life is pre-determined. One has to accept
destiny and go ahead with life. This is the true philosophy of Indian
life. In truth, there is no condition in life which is either wholly “good”
or “bad”. It is just the way one perceives it makes it bad or good.
Ultimately one alone create the life, one gets to live.
All Anita Desai’s novels do not end on a note of despair. In Fire
on the Mountain Nanda Kaul’s experience of facing the truth lasted
only for a moment but this realization of that moment is eternal. Sita,
in Where Shall We Go This Summer? willing to return to Bombay to
face the future is indication of optimistic state of mind. Gautama’s
mother turns to social service for self-fulfillment; and unlike her
daughter Nila, do not face unspeakable agonies. Gautama’s mother
has the capacity to combine her complete devotion equally to her
family and towards social service.
Both the writers discuss the effects of single-parenthood on
children. They perceive motherhood to be an important aspect in
woman’s life. It is the mother who played the key role in shaping the
attitude of children. The child who has a mother who listened to his or
her inner anguish was considered to be a luckiest child. The influence
of mother on the behaviour patterns of the child is more than that of a
father. Indian history and mythology are replete with examples where
mothers are responsible for shaping their children into great
personalities. For instance, Sita, the mythological character of
Ramayana, rears Lava and Kusa as befitting sons of Rama. She has
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done this individually without Rama’s help. Mura raises her son
Chandra Gupta to become a great Emperor of India who later
established Mauryan dynasty. Shivaji became the great Maratha king
under the able guidance of his mother Jijiyabhai. They are the
mothers with strong character who has individually given all the
needed attention of both the parents to their children. This speaks
about the significance of mother in the life of the child. But in modern
times, children from single-parenting (either mother or father) are at
risk when they are experiencing parenting inadequate in terms of
attention. For instance, the protagonists Maya, Nila, Sita and Raka
are victims of single-parenthood.
The Institute for the Study of Civil Society in Indonesia has
observed that children living with single-parent are about three times
more likely to kill themselves or end in the hospital after an attempt of
suicide trial by the age of twenty-six. The protagonist, Maya, commits
suicide at the tender age of twenty four years as she is unable to
compromise with her life. Motherless Maya who is pampered by her
father, fail to realize that in the real world, pleasant and unpleasant,
satisfied and unsatisfied persons exist side by side. Raka becomes
recluse at the tender age of nine because of scant attention of her
parents. Infact, this is the reason why the Indian elders do not
encourage the idea of taking divorce by their children. Maya’s mother-
in-law is against her daughter’s decision to take divorce. She is
worried about the future of her grand-children. Rukmani too tries to
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convince her son-in-law to continue to live with Ira. But it goes in
vain. The result is that her grandson, Sacrobani is without father who
is looked down by others with contempt.
Both the writers believe in empowerment of women. They want
the women have some vocation in life. Potential unrealized in women
turns to pain and later to their destruction. One needs to engage
oneself in some activity or other to keep the mind sane. This idea is
depicted through the character of Maya’s mother-in-law. She feels that
women themselves are responsible for their predicament, and so
bluntly asserted, “Women place themselves in bondage to men,
whether in marriage or out. All their joy and ambition is channeled
that way, while they go parched themselves.”5 She has absolutely
different temperament which Maya, Nila and Sita do not have; thus
she alone can say, “It doesn’t cost men much to show spirit. It’s when
I see it in a woman that I am pleased. A girl must have a spirit and a
profession, I always say, and no one can take up a profession from
which she gets pleasure.”6 She gives importance to vocation in the life
of women. She feels that one cannot always have successful and
happy life just because someone is lucky and their stars line up. It is
because luck is created by lucky people and life is what one created
for themselves consciously.
Ultimately, Kamala Markandaya and Anita Desai, through their
fiction, give the message of adjustment and acceptance and not that
of a belligerent protest. A woman have to lead normal life in the
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society assimilating all the aspects of life i.e. love, attraction, hate,
trivial quarrels, etc. This does not mean they are against woman’s
need for personal space and individual identity. It is only when some
deliberate injustice is done to her or some basic right is willfully
violated or snatched from her that she has to rise, stand and fight
paying any price.The writers seem to aim at a social structure that is
congenial to all humanity irrespective of their gender. With deep
imaginative insight, they trace in their novels the lives of
contemporary women realistically, retaining at the same time the
sense of wonder and mystery that lies at the root of existence.
Since the women writers enjoy a substantial visibility today, and
are widely read, it is their responsibility to arouse the inactive,
lethargic women from their slumber, so that they shed their baseless
fears and inhibitions and stand up against the forces which are
working as hindrances for them for happy relationships with others
and also curbing their freedom and progress in the society. In fact,
Ashapurna Debi, a famous Bengali women writer, is of the opinion
that modern woman’s role as wife has become even more challenging
in the present scenario than that of the past. She opines that: “there
is contradictory change in the expectation of man from women. Man
wants his wife to be traditional, obedient and at the same time he
wants her to be modern, good-looking, well-dressed smart
companion.”7 This has widened the vicinity of her role as wife in
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present scenario. Hence, she suggests women to develop multi-tasking
capabilities to face the challenges of life.
Another weakness that has crept into the minds of modern
woman is the overdose of suspicion and doubt. She sees some selfish
motive in man’s intentions and behaviour, but sees it being magnified.
In her struggle for liberty and equality the modern woman can’t wink
at the fact that as the blind submission is undesirable, so is the
unwarranted suspicion. Infact, the contemporary Indian society wants
to see that “Potential Sita” who is within “Pativratha Sita” in Indian
women. She is that Sita who is not only the cherished wife of Rama,
but also a woman who faces all challenges of life in a dignified
manner. She is an outspoken who has expressed herself freely and
asserted her will and wish. She is a woman with unshakeable
character who did not get seduced by the outward glamour and
material objects at Ravana’s palace. She faces boldly her suspicious
husband and tries to appease him. She reconciles with her marriage
and lives with Rama. Later, she accepts her separation from her
husband as the true reality of her life. She raises well-balanced
children as a single mother. She understands her husband’s inability
as king and goes through the anguish passively. Hence she is seen as
women who dealt with all weakness. She and her qualities need to
live. Hence, Indian society needs this “Sita”.
To sum up, the position of the Indian woman in general, and
Indian woman as wife in particular, has been paradoxical. Inspite of
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being a prominent figure in the family, she has lived the life of
subjugation, suffering and suppression. However, now she has started
becoming conscious of her rights and responsibilities, distress and
destination. Accordingly she has waged her war, too. Of course, this
war is not going to be easy and short-lived, as it is against human
elements like ego, greed, ambition, selfishness, sadism, etc. The
present period that she is passing through is a transitional one. And
she has miles to go before the goal is reached. However, while
marching on the chosen path, it should also not be forgotten that
man-woman relationship can’t be restored to the axis of equality and
liberty through constitution and legislation alone, but through mutual
understanding, love, respect, and dilution of the egos. Both the
writers suggest an honest appraisal of one’s own role, strengths and
weaknesses and admiration for the positive qualities of the spouse,
can save relationships from disintegration and pave way for serenity of
mind and harmonious interaction. The problem is not who would
dominate but who would rise to love and understand the other. Love
covers, erases and forgives every weakness.
Hence the responsibility lies in the hands of Indian woman as
wife who has to balance herself smartly between two important things
in her life i.e. between her self-identity and family responsibilities. She
has to take care that her urge for self-identity is not eroded while
fulfilling her family responsibilities. Thus, Indira Gandhi, perhaps the
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most successful woman in public life makes a very poignant
statement:
Woman must be a bridge and synthesizer. She shouldn’t
allow herself to be swept off her feet by superficial trends
nor yet be chained to the familiar. She must ensure the
continuity which strengthens roots and simultaneously
engineer change and growth to keep society dynamic,
abreast of knowledge, sensitive to fast moving events. The
solution lies neither in fighting for equal position nor
denying it, neither in retreat into the home nor escape
from it.8
Indian women can make positive changes to happen in their
lives because they have unshakeable faith in their vision and
unrelenting confidence in their potential. They have courage and
conviction to act on their ideas. They have the potential and
unrecognized powers in them which on exploration will explode the
every element of life into success.
247
REFERENCES:
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