1. Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 1 Children 2-12
2. Dale Sundermann MSW Offutt Family Advocacy &Airman and
Family Readiness
3. Who can use1-2-3 MAGIC?* Parents* Grandparents* Nannies*
Sitters* Teachers 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 3 Children
2-12
4. Part IStraight Thinking 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for
4 Children 2-12
5. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 5 Children 2-12
6. What Is The Problem? Kids dont come with a training manual.
They are either doing what you dont want them to do. Or they are
not doing what you do want them to do. 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 6 Children 2-12
7. START BEHAVIOR and STOP BEHAVIOR When you are having
problems with your kids, they are either 1) doing something you
would like them to stop 2) not doing something you would like them
to start! 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 7 Children 2-12
8. For STOP BEHAVIORSSuch As: Arguing Fighting Screaming
Tantrums Teasing Whining You will use the Counting procedure. 1-2-3
Magic Effective Discipline for 8 Children 2-12
9. Little Adult Assumption Words and reason will not always
work Often lead to the Talk- Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome Think
of yourself as a wild animal trainer 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 9 Children 2-12
10. The Wild Animal TrainerObjective: Choose a training method
Repeat it until it works If done correctly, you will get results
1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 10 Children 2-12
11. The TWO BIGGEST Mistakes Parents Make Too Much Talking
& Too Much Emotion 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 11
Children 2-12
12. Too Much Talking is a problembecause it either does not
work or it takes .you through the
Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit-Syndrome.Too Much Emotion is a
problembecause the child enjoys the powerthat comes with gettinga
parent upset. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 12 Children
2-12
13. Too Much Talking Can Be Destructive When children are
little they feel inferior, because they are. This lessness bugs
them a lot. Dr. Thomas Phelan 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for
13 Children 2-12
14. Who Is Responsible?The child is responsible for his own
behaviorBut too much talking takes the childs focusoff of good
behavior and places it on thepossibility of a good fight! 1-2-3
Magic Effective Discipline for 14 Children 2-12
15. Part IIControlling Obnoxious Behavior 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 15 Children 2-12
16. The 1-2-3 MethodFirst, you will use the 1-2-3, orcounting
method, to deal with STOPbehaviors.The following is a list of some
typicalSTOP behaviors.Arguing Fighting WhiningYelling Tantrums Etc.
1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 16 Children 2-12
17. The 1-2-3 MethodSecond, after you hear how to do the
1-2-3,you are likely to become skeptical. You may say This is too
easy. 1-2-3 is simple, but not always easy. It is very powerful if
you follow the No-Talking, No-Emotion Rules. 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 17 Children 2-12
18. Using The Counting Method To Stop Obnoxious Behavior
Remember: No When the behavior Talking and No occurs the parent
Emotion. holds up 1 finger and says,Thats 1. Parent waits 5 seconds
to see if the behavior continues. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline
for 18 Children 2-12
19. Using The Counting Method To Stop Obnoxious Behavior
Remember: No Talking If the behavior and No Emotion. continues, the
parent holds up two fingers and says Thats 2. Parent waits 5
seconds to see if the behavior continues. 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 19 Children 2-12
20. Using The Counting Method To Stop Obnoxious Behavior
Remember: No If the behavior Talking and No continues, the Emotion.
parent holds up three fingers and says. Thats 3, take 5. 1-2-3
Magic Effective Discipline for 20 Children 2-12
21. The Automatic 3 Examples When the child does something very
bad Hitting it becomes an Spitting Automatic 3 Offensive language
Biting 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 21 Children 2-12
22. The Following Problems Require Some Minor Modifications
Pouting Passive behavior designed to make a parent feel guilty.
Walk away and ignore the behavior. If the child is an aggressive
pouter and follows the parent around, use counting. 1-2-3 Magic
Effective Discipline for 22 Children 2-12
23. The Following Problems Require Some Minor Modifications
Sibling Rivalry Dont send both fighting kids to the Count both kids
same room. Never ask What happened? or Who started it? Dont expect
the older child to be more mature. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline
for 23 Children 2-12
24. Counting in Action 1- 2 -3 Practice Role Plays Video Clips
1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 24 Children 2-12
25. Whats Good About The 1-2-3 Discipline is less exhausting
Your authority is not negotiable The punishment is brief Its easy
to learn 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 25 Children 2-12
26. Questions About Time Out How long should the What happens
when the rest period be? rest period is over? What if the child
does something right after the rest period is over? What if the
child never stops until I get to the count of 2? 1-2-3 Magic
Effective Discipline for 26 Children 2-12
27. What To Do In Public Child has a powerful weaponIf in
doubt, dont take them out. Use alternative time out locations:
bathrooms, corner of a store, car, front of a store etc. Set
expectations and possible reward system up front. Keep moving if
child is having a tantrum. 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 27
Children 2-12
28. Riding in the Car Short Trips: What to do at 3 - No talking
- Pull over to side of road - Money taken off allowance Long Trips:
- Earn spending money - Games - VCR Dont leave on a long vacation
without putting on your thinking cap. 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 28 Children 2-12
29. Frequently Asked Questions What do you do if the child
counts you back? What if there is a problem between children but
you didnt see what happened? How long do you take between counts?
If a child hits 1 or 2, does he stay at that count for the rest of
the day? My child has a fit when I try to drop him off at
preschool! Does the room have to be a sterile environment? 1-2-3
Magic Effective Discipline for 29 Children 2-12
30. Frequently Asked Questions Can you count different
misbehaviors to get to 3? Can you ever ignore anything? What if you
have other people over? Can you use a time-out chair instead of a
room? What if the child wont stay in his room? What if the child
wont come out? 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 30 Children
2-12
31. Frequently Asked Questions Help-my kids go nuts when I am
on the phone!! Does being counted hurt the childs self-esteem? What
if the kid wrecks the room during the rest period? What if your
child urinates on the floor during the time out? Should you ever
spank a child? Why give kids three chances to misbehave? Shouldnt
the kids ever apologize? 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 31
Children 2-12
32. The Kickoff Conversation Explain the 1-2-3 and what to
expect after each count and what happens after a time-out.Get ready
for the Six Kinds ofTesting and Manipulation. 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 32 Children 2-12
33. Part IIINo Child Will Thank You 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 33 Children 2-12
34. The Six Kinds ofTesting Manipulation 1. Badgering 2.
Intimidation 3. Threat 4. Martyrdom 5. Butter Up 6. Physical
Tactics 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 34 Children 2-12
35. The $64,000 QuestionDoes your child have a
favoritetactic?What does it works mean?Do it rightWhat to expect
1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 35 Children 2-12
36. The Major/Minor SystemMajor offenses Medium offenses-
Stealing - Coming home less than- Fighting 3 hours late- Breaking a
valuable - Lying item Minor offenses- Playing with fire - Coming
home less- Coming home more than 1 hour late than 3 hours late -
Breaking something valued at less than $10 1-2-3 Magic Effective
Discipline for 36 Children 2-12
37. ConsequencesMajor Consequences Medium offenses- 7 days
grounding - Three days grounding in- $10 fine or pay back room
double the value of stolen - $5 fine article - 4 hours of chores-
No TV or computer for two Minor offenses weeks - One hour grounding
in- 8 hours work around the room house - $2 fine - 2 hours of
chores 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 37 Children 2-12
38. The PayoffNow that you know what the 1-2-3 is allabout, you
are ready to get started. You will be in good company! You can
expect RESULTS. You can expect less arguing and yelling.The 1-2-3
works IF YOU DO IT!! 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for 38
Children 2-12