Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow The Compassionate Friends Mandurah Chapter

Rm 2, Mandurah Lotteries House, 7 Anzac Place

Mandurah 6210

Ph/ Fax(08) 9535 7761

E-mail: tcfmandurah@bigpond.com

www.tcfmandurah.bravehost.com

Volume 9 Issue 3 September 2012

ABN: 412 610 911 81

Founded in England by Rev Simon Stephens 1969

Australian Founders Lindsay & Margaret Harmer, 1978

WA Patron Graham Mabury OAM Cit WA FECU BA

(Hons) Grad. Dip. Ed.

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Courage

Courage is a small word but it means a mighty thing

And we all admire a hero, be he poor man, be he king.

Whoever rises to the task, who does not shirk the danger,

Is someone whom we all respect, although he be a stranger.

But we may not spot the courage that is found in every day

The courage that covers up the pain and takes one out to play.

The courage that hides the misery behind a daring smile

The courage that when it cannot walk, will crawl the extra mile.

To face the day at all can sometimes take all one can give,

So look out for the heroes struggling round you where you live.

Together we can conquer bad that doesn’t need to be

And anyone can be a hero – even you or me.

Anna MacGregor

Courage is to be found in every bereaved parent. Grief is exhausting and there are times when we have no energy or incentive. Some days, we can only curl up in a ball of misery and stay in our bed, shutting the world and everyone in it out, for the day. In our early grief, it is often only the necessities of paying our mortgage, feeding our other children, taking other family members to school or work or hospital, which gets us moving. It can be an effort to rise, shower, dress and do what we have to do. But we do it!

As time goes by, and we work through the grief issues and feel the pain of our mourning, it hurts intensely, but we do it! There comes a time when we are able to reach out to comfort others, whose grief is fresh. We provide a hug, a listening ear, the understand-ing and the assurance that the pain really does ease, eventually. Many bereaved par-ents volunteer their time to TCF to help others walk the hard road of grief and do so even at times when they themselves might be fragile. This selflessness does take cour-age and because of this, the Compassionate Friends will always be there for bereaved families of the future.

Recently Carolyn lee and I attended the Fifth International Gathering of TCF and mixed with bereaved parents from fourteen other countries. We were overwhelmed with the courage, the empathy, care and love which flowed around us. These bereaved parents , almost 1500 of them, have come from a place of personal devastation and grief, to learn, to grow and to finally be strong enough to share all this with others

Some of our members have had more than one bereavement to deal with, child and grandchild, two or even three children. Look at them, talk to them, recognize the beauty and strength as they live on for their children—That Takes Courage!

© Margot McAllister Mother of Kevin, Nana of jackson

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

SHOPPER FRIENDLY OUTLETS ~ Please Support Those Who Support Us ~

Drum Print: 21 Rafferty Road, Mandurah—Donates the paper & copying of our Newsletter.

Hall & Jones Hair Stylists Miami: One of Mandurahs Top Hairdressers who Co-Sponsors our Newsletter.

Centro Mandurah Bakers Delight: Provide morning teas to our monthly Suicide Survivors Support Group.

The Following Businesses Provide Discounts on Production of our Newsletter

Jason’s Multi Service Kiosk: Warnbro Fair Shopping Centre can add photos to items such as pendants,

bracelets etc and will give members 20 % discount - Call in and see what he can do.

Jarrah Laser Designs: Photo’s engraved onto assorted items 15 % discount Ph: 0414 876 335

National Awareness Day

Well Done, everyone who helped in any way!

What a busy and productive week of activities we had this year. Margot

was interviewed for articles which appeared in two local newspapers,

Wendy Nani was interviewed on ABC Radio in Bunbury, we had items on three other radio stations, displays at the Mandurah, Falcon, Safety Bay and Rockingham Libraries and at the Women's Health Centre in Bunbury.

Volunteers manned displays at Centro Mandurah, Centro Halls Head and

Silver Sands shopping centers. These resulted in over $1200 being raised by the raffle sales and sales of TCF items. The raffle winners were delighted with their good fortune. Lots of information was distributed and several

people made contact with us for the first time. So, we well and truly achieved our main aim of increasing community awareness of our services.

Special thanks to those who manned the shopping centre displays who were in order of roster—Carolyn Lee, Barbara Powell, Emily Pinnell, Sheila Robinson, Rosemary Rana, Margot McAllister, Tina Pearce, Lori Barton, Pam Bolwerk and Colleen Doney. Thanks to Wendy Nani and Valerie Ridgway for arranging the display of

literature at Bunbury and Rockingham and Barbara Spriggs for arranging the raffle hampers.

Thank You

• Jill Taylor & Margaret Watson for running a weekly raffle for us. Ladies we do appreciate all

your time and efforts

• To Ian McCue of Southern Steelworks for the recent generous donation. If only we had more people and businesses to support us like this.

• Tina & Eddie Pearce for the one day meat tray raffle held at the Last Drop Tavern. This was

very successful raising almost $400! Well done!

• We farewell Rob and Brit of Nielsen-Pankhurst Jewellers who have moved to the country. We wish you well and thank you for sponsoring our

newsletter for the past few years.

• Thanks to Wendy Wormall for hosting the June Mandurah coffee morning and Robyn Frew for facilitating. Page 10 has details of the next one.

• To Pam Bolwerk who stepped up to facilitate the Suicide Bereaved Support Group during Margots absence in July. What a great team

player you are!

Display at Safety Bay Library

Volunteers

Jill Tester has stepped down from facilitating the Sui-cide Bereaved Support Group so this is now being facilitated again by Margot.We would welcome a sui-cide bereaved member who would like to be trained

in this position.

We welcomed Laleh to our drop in center crew re-cently. She has excellent computer skills so is prov-

ing valuable to us.

With four of us working in the office recently we had Margot (Scotland) Tina (England) Lenora (Nepal) and

Laleh (Iran). A little league of Nations!

Wanted

We need a new sponsor to help cover the cost of our quarterly newsletters for next year. In return for their donation we acknowledge sponsors on our front page with their business logo and address.

Approximately 200 copies of each issue are distrib-uted throughout our region. If you have a business or know a business owner we or you can approach

please let us know.

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Coming Events

Training Day

We have been fortunate to obtain funding from the City of Mandurah to cover the cost of a professional

training session from relationships Australia.

Our thanks to John Lawrence who compiled the

application.

The training, which will take place at Lotteries House on Thursday 6th September is for group

facilitators, telephone friends and those who are

on the drop-in-centre roster.

It will cover topics such as, basic counseling and

listening skills and will compliment the training

provided by Tina Pearce and Margot McAllister.

If you are over two years of bereavement and are

interested in participating in any of these roles, please contact Tina or Margot at

the centre on—9535 7761

Fathers Day Lunch

Bereaved fathers and grandfathers are invited to

attend a complimentary, informal lunch. This will

be held at the Hogs Breath Café on Pinjarra Road, Mandurah on Saturday 1st September at 12 noon.

The lunch will be hosted by Gary Withers.

Do come along and spend some relaxed time

with a few other bereaved fathers.

Please advise the centre on 9535 7761 if you

wish to attend

2012 AGM

Please note a date change for the AGM. This will

now take place on Thursday 20th September at the Lotteries House meeting room.

Make a note in your diary, NOW.

Please try to attend, to ensure we have a quorum and make sure your financial membership is up to date

so that you can vote.

Anyone wishing to nominate for a position is invited to contact the centre as soon as possible.

Please think about coming on the committee for a term or two, to bring fresh ideas and talent.

The AGM will start at 11.00a.m

Followed by a light lunch

Just a Reminder!!!

Financial Membership

As a registered Charity and an Incorporated body, we are required to have financial members. Our charge of $15 per year has been kept low and is only payable after the first year of bereavement. The fee covers the financial year from 1st July 2012 to 30th June 2013.

Membership forms were sent out with the June

newsletter. Membership entitles you to receive the newsletter and invitations to memorial events,

lunches and the retreat.

We are not funded and do not charge a fee for each of our services, so your membership really does help us to meet some costs. Please try to pay it as soon as possible. It can be paid by cash, cheque, money

order or paid directly into our account which is:

The Compassionate Friends Mandurah

Westpac BSB036-157 Acc No. 225050

Annual Retreat

Places are filling up fast, so please let us know

ASAP, if you wish to attend.

This will be held at the beautiful Nanga Bush Camp in Dwellingup on the weekend of

16th to 18th November.

The cost for the full weekend, including catering and accommodation is $100 per person. Newly bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings are encouraged to

attend.

This healing weekend is a unique opportunity to take time out and care for yourself. The program includes a selection of therapies, but as places are limited you are urged to contact the centre as soon as possible to

reserve your place.

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

TCF 5th International Gathering — July 2012

Almost 1500 TCF volunteers from 14 countries attended the Gathering at the Hilton Hotel, Costa Mesa, Orange County, California including nine from Australia. Carolyn Lee & I represented TCF Mandurah and I also repre-sented TCF WA, Tony Hurren & Baden Jacob from TCF SA and Sue Berry & 4 other volunteers from TCF NSW. After registration we were welcomed to the buffet dinner on our first evening by the TCF USA CEO Pat Loder & husband Wayne. It was great to meet old friends and to make new ones from other countries. We set up a dis-play in the “Bereaved parents hospitality room’. Our butterfly promotional packages proved popular & we had to replenish the display daily. The bookmarks, newsletters and information pamphlets all went and Carolyn & I gave the pens we’d taken to people we’d talked with. Remembrance of Love boards with pre-ordered photos of our children, were set up outside the ballroom and there was another display area with photographs outside the reflection room.

The program started early each day and finished late at night. I attended the International Liaison meeting as proxy for Chris Dennys, our Australian International representative. Myrtle Fleming from South Africa was elected new chairperson after Margaret Pringle from UK stepped down.

The opening ceremony commenced with a welcome from Pat Loder, CEO of TCF USA. The Mayor of Costa Mesa, himself a bereaved parent, then welcomed us and with tears in his eyes informed us of the shooting that had just occurred a few hours earlier in Colorado. Margaret Pringle read a letter from the founders Joe & Iris Lawley who couldn’t attend and then introduced the new International chairperson Myrtle Fleming. Myrtle read a poem which she’d written the night before. The keynote speaker was Lois Duncan, author of “Who Killed My daughter” and instigator of a website for families of unsolved murder victims. The “Love in motion” choir dressed in national costumes, mimed songs, using sign language. Alan Pederson and Mitch Carmody enter-tained us with songs and sign language. Mitch is an author and was a presenter; Alan’s CD’s were on sale.

I attended a grandparents “Meet and greet” , facilitated the grandparents sharing session the following evening and presented my workshop on grandparents grief the next day. The response to my workshop was extremely positive and I’ve been asked to email my notes to several people. I was interviewed by a woman who is writing a book on the topic and she has a copy of my notes.

Our interesting guest speakers including Kathy Eldon whose son Dan, a photographer/journalist was killed in Somalia while filming after the killing of 74 people, Darcie Sims, bereaved parent co-founder of Grief Inc. au-thor and speaker, and Michelle Linn-Gust, bereaved sibling and President of the American Association of Suici-dology. Michelle, Lois Duncan and Darcie Sims signed their books which we’d purchased for our library along with other items. A copy of our DVD was given to Darcie at her request.

I attended a workshop for chapter newsletter editors, exchanging ideas and learning that in order to avoid the risk of identity theft the policy in the USA is to not include the full dates of birth and death in newsletters. TCF Mandurah has now adopted that policy. I also attended the TCF USA National meeting which had many points of interest.

At the banquet dinner we had a candle lighting for our children, a piper played “Amazing Grace” and TCF USA presented several awards to volunteers and sponsors. As we had travelled furthest to attend we were presented with the book of photographs of California from our table. This is a lovely keepsake for our chapter. The Walk to Remember was held on Sunday morning and what a sight it was with hundreds of people all in the walk t-shirts and some with their chapter banners. Carolyn & I each wore a list of the children of our volunteers and committee members on whose behalf we walked.

The four directors of TCF Australia, Tony Hurren (secretary), Mike Berry (I.T. & website), Baden Jacob (treasurer) and I (PR), met with Tony Hurren as chair and Sue Berry taking minutes. Our main focus was on the role and future direction of TCF Australia. We meet again via Skype soon.

There were many informal get-togethers during the gathering and lots of stories shared. Two buses of partici-pants went to Disneyland and after a day of laughter and hair-raising rides Carolyn and I were amazed when, after hearing about the work of TCF, we were given VIP seating to watch the magnificent firework display. When the gathering had ended we enjoyed a few days of sightseeing and were taken out on two days by Roberta, a lovely local TCF member.

We’ve returned from the gathering with lots of ideas, shared knowledge, new international contacts and a range of resources for our library. I’ve received some promised training information from the UK, will be sending oth-ers my information on Grandparents grief, have received an enquiry about our promotional package and will be exchanging newsletters with several international chapters.

The date and venue of the next International gathering has yet to be arranged but it is hoped to hold the 50th anniversary gathering in the UK where TCF began. There might be a gathering prior to that in Germany but that is yet to be confirmed. I would encourage others to attend if they can. It was a busy but pleasurable time. I felt honoured to go and thank TCF Mandurah for making it possible.

Margot McAllister, Mother of Kevin & Nana of Jackson.

P.R.Manager

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

My first TCF International Gathering

After a long, tiring, 25 hour flight and bus journey, we arrived at the Hilton hotel in Costa Mesa. I felt the warmth and kindness of the American people which continued especially during the conference. It was like go-ing to a big family reunion; lot’s of Aunt’s. Uncle’s and Cousin’s you hadn’t met before, but knew you had a spe-cial connection.

There was an orientation for first time attendees on the Friday, explaining what the conference entailed. This was followed by the opening session, hosted by Pat Loder, a speech by the mayor of Costa Mesa and also a be-reaved parent. The guest speaker was Lois Duncan, author of ‘Who Killed My Daughter?’. Love in motion, a choir then sang with sign language. I tried to go to as many workshops as I could, but many of them clashed. I went to Witnessing Death; this was given by a sibling who was in a car accident with her brother. There were many stories by parents who were present when their children died, mostly in hospital! There were many, like Dave and I who had to make the heart-breaking decision to turn off life support, but everyone was glad they had been there. We did some meditation to ‘Wisdom Bowl’s’, the inner journey of healing by meditation, which I really enjoyed. Whisper of Love, Signs—from our children; this notion upholds the theory that somehow our soul survives and that, in some way the essence of life, personality, vitality and energy survives. We talked about signs and dreams and this workshop was a lot of fun. Mitch Carmody was a great presenter! Workshop Dreams was another one I enjoyed, by Carla Blowey, author of Dreaming Kevin, a book I had read from our li-brary. In the evening there were sharing sessions where you could talk with others about the workshops.

I met many interesting people like Darcy Sims and her husband. Darcie is a grief management specialist and author; she presented twice and was very funny! We met ladies from Sydney and couples from throughout America.

The highlight for me was the candlelight service and the banquet, where everyone lit their candle with the lights turned down; it looked wonderful! On Sunday, we had the walk, which, even though it was a bit warm, we still enjoyed.

On Monday, most of us went to Disneyland, which was a lot of fun, especially the fireworks! Margot got talk-ing to some young people who worked at Disneyland. When they heard about The Compassionate Friends, they arranged for us to have VIP seats to watch the firework display ! We met a lovely lady at the conference called Roberta, who lived locally. When she heard we were staying some extra days, she took us sightseeing. This is only one of many examples of kindness shown to us by the American people. Darcie Sims was right when she said, we will find it difficult to explain in words what this conference meant to us. But, one word comes to me, MAGIC!

Written by Carolyn Lee, Mother of Christopher.

Photos of Jackson and Kevin on the “Remembrance Board”

Members of TCF Australia Ltd board

L-R Mike Berry, Baden Jacob, Tony Hurren and Margot McAllister.

Part of the “Walk to Remember”

Putting out our display items which were very popular

Margot, Vreni, Pat,Margaret, Karin & Myrtle

Australia, Switzerland, USA, UK, Germany

And South Africa.

Ready for the Walk to Remember

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

GRANDPARENTS ...

Grandparents are a special gift, For a Grandparent holds a special love,

That God gives to each child. For the child, their child has had. heir love outshines the brightest star... And, to lose what they hold dear, Their love can never be defiled. Leaves them heartbroken and sad.

Oh, but when a child becomes an angel, Their legacy is their grandchildren,

how can they learn to survive? Grandparents feel the pain and sorrow. Will the dreams of their tomorrows, Beyond any pain they’ve known in life, Somehow be kept alive? Or will ever come to know tomorrow.

Yes, a grandparent is a survivor,

And life has taught them how to be. for their wisdom, courage & love,

Is carried from them... to You & me.

Author Kaye Des’Ormeaux

Father’s Day Grief

Father’s Day is filled with the joy and celebration of recognition and acknowledgement, the coming together with family in

moments of togetherness. Yet for many Dads it can be tinged with great sadness. They can feel the cold stabbing pain of loss

that comes from their child not being there to cuddle and to hold on a day when many other Fathers experience just that. There

are no indents in the bed or squeals of joyous laughter at gifts lovingly made and wrapped. An empty chair at the table is a

reminder of the painful void and the ache of someone so obviously missing. There are no texts, no emails, no phone calls and

no visits.

It’s a natural thing to focus on what we don’t have and are missing on this day because it hurts so very much, yet impossible as

it seems, there is much we do have. Our loved ones imprint themselves and make footprints in our lives forever.

Those footprints are always there for us to step into.

As Fathers, your love is unique and forever – your love for them and theirs for you is something grief can never take from

you. It is there, a constant pendulum swinging between the two of you.

Bring them with you on this day – include them in what you plan to do. See their wonder, their mannerisms, their joy, their

habits and what they loved most. Let the happy moments sit amidst the sadness. Share a beautiful memory, speak their name

or eat some of their favourite food. Remember them with love, with gratitude and with laughter on this day. Let the essence of

them be with you today as you and your family celebrate you as a Father.

What comes to mind above all – your one special thing, the one that encapsulates all that they were and all that stays with

you when you think of them? Those one or two words that perfectly sums them up! Keep this, treasure it and let it be with you

today.

Family celebrations are never the same after losing a child. They will always be different from now on. There flows an

undercurrent of sadness. There is missing and there is wishing as we see others enjoy moments together. Those are the

reminders of our loss that we will bump up against forever. Yet amidst those reminders, let the invisible ways your loved one

has touched your life always be with you. Step into their footprints and feel them with you this Father’s Day.

©Maureen Hunter www.esdeer.com

Candlelight Memorial Service

Sunday 9th December 2012 — 7pm Start

Christs Church Anglican Church

Sholl Street, Mandurah

Please bring a small framed photograph of your loved one and a plate to share for supper.

Candles will be provided

If you wish to read a special poem or have one read on your behalf,

Please contact Margot at the centre on 9535 7761

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

A FATHER’S PRAYER

I am a man, God, and I have been taught that I should be strong and show no weakness. My wife needs me to be strong; I cannot and I must not be weak and lean on her. It is only with You that I can be honest, Lord, and even with You I am ashamed to admit it, but I want to cry! I can feel the tears securely dammed up behind eyes that want to burst.

There is a voice in me that shouts, BE STRONG! BE A MAN! SHOW NO WEAKNESS! SHED NO TEARS! But, there is another voice inside that speaks softly and somehow I feel it is Your voice, Father. Is it You who tells me that I am also a feeling human being, who can cry if I need to? Is it Your voice that tells me that, maybe my wife needs the tenderness of my tears more than she needs the strength of my muscles? You are right, Lord, as always. My wife needs to see my grief. She needs to feel the dampness of my tears and know the aching of my heart.

Then, just as we became one to create this life, we become one in our grief which mourns this death. I think I understand, Lord. It is in sharing the awful pain of my grief that I become an even stronger man. It is in sharing my tears, that I share my true strength.

Oh, God, help me to communicate my deepest and most sensitive feelings to my wife so that we may become whole together.

Norman Hagley

METROPOLITAN CEMETERIES BOARD

The Government passed legislation in 1987, that all leases on graves purchased before this date would expire on the 2nd July 2012.

After hearing about this on the radio, we went to

Fremantle Cemetery to find our son’s grave had expired; we had a 50 year lease, losing 19 years of it. We were advised not to renew at this time, but, to do so, only when we need to add a family member, either burial or ashes.

The cost for 25 years is $2,049.65 (incl. GST but, am not sure about Carbon Tax!).

If we both die at the same time, unless we have willed the lease to a family member, it will revert back to the Cemetery Board.

Fremantle owns the land all the way to Stock Road. They will not re-use graves for many years to come,

However, it is a different story at Karrakatta, where new land is scarce.

We advise you to contact the cemetery and update your information.

You can go to the site below, using the Search Engine to find if your lease has expired:

http://www.mcb.wa.gov.au/Index.aspx

Tina & Eddie—Parents of Ian

AMANDA

If I could catch a rainbow,

I would do it just for you.

And share with you, its beauty,

On the days I’m feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain,

I could call my very own.

A place to find serenity,

A place to be alone.

If I could take away the pain,

I would toss them in the sea.

But all these things, I’m finding,

Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain,

Or catch a rainbow fair.

But I’ll let you know what I know best,

You, who’s always there …

So loved … So missed … Always in my Heart

Wendy Nani, in loving memory of her

daughter, Amanda Suzanne Nani

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Remembered With Love

September, October, November 2012

Anthony Michael PERCIVAL 23 - 11 to 9 - 9

Son of Janet & Michael, Father of Akisha, Nephew of Colin & Norma Fabry.

Anthony, you have gone to Heaven to be with your Lord and Saviour forever!

We miss you and love you very much! See you one-day, Love Mum Janet

Christopher LEE 10 - 2 to 21 - 9 Son of Carolyn and Dave, brother of Jessica. Our special Supernova burned brightly, but, whose circle of life was too short

Clayton MANUEL 19 - 1 to 19 - 11 Grandson of Thelma and Jack, Brother of Mahalia and Jordan

In loving memory of our darling Grandson, Clayton The beautiful memories will stay in our hearts forever

Will always love you, Nanna & Jack Susan Linda PENCO 25 - 11 to 31 - 3

Daughter of Danica, Sister of Daniel (dec’d) and Tania Always remembered by her loving Mum and Sister xxx

Darren Wayne KEENAN 12 - 9 to 27 - 11 Son of Lynda, Brother of Allan, Lisa (dec’d) & Simon (dec’d)

Gina COHEN 7 - 6 to 4 - 9 Daughter of Ruth, Sister of Todd & Russell

Remembered always Love Mum, Todd & Russell

Helen SHONE 26 - 10 to 15 - 7 Daughter-in-Law of Irene and Brian, Wife of Michael

Time doesn't make it easier. We still miss you everyday You will remain in our hearts Forever

Irene, Brian, Sandra & Ian

Michael James SHONE 18 - 9 to 3 - 2

Son of Irene and Brian, Brother of Ian and Sandra Time doesn't make it easier. We still miss you everyday

You will remain in our hearts forever

Ian George PEARCE 18 - 6 to 21 - 10 Charley-Barley, dancing with Abba

Forever loved, Daddy, Mummy & Dawnie

Kevin John PERRY 18 - 11 to 13 - 7

Son of Margot, Brother of Lorraine and Uncle of Samara Lewis, Harry & Tommy So difficult to picture you as a 50 year old to us you will always be 23. What a party we would have had Love & miss you Kevin

Jodie Leeanne THOMPSON 30 - 11 to 12 - 10 Daughter of Helen I miss you every moment of everyday You are in my heart, always and forever

NOTE: TCF Mandurah has decided to adopt the policy, held by the USA and other countries, of omitting the full details of birth and death dates from our newsletter. This policy is required to help prevent the risk of “Identity Theft”, which is becoming more common. We have a responsibility to

avoid placing our members families at risk. In future the year/years will not be included.

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Remembered With Love

September, October, November 2012

Lauren Louise GEBBIE 18 - 8 to 4 - 9

It’s been 7 years since you left us and you have never been out of our thoughts. We miss hearing your beautiful

singing and often hear your favourite songs when we need to hear them most. You will always be loved

With love, Mum, Dad, Neil, Liam, & Georgia xxx

Paul Raymond SMITH 2 - 4 to 5 - 11 Cherished forever, our beautiful Son, Brother & Daddy Love Mum, Dad, Allan, Trisch, Ellagrace, Harry, Sonia & Buffy Always in our Hearts. Reunited with our little angel, Ellagrace Rick O’GRADY 20 - 1 to 16 - 11 Treasured memories of you will live in our hearts forever Always loved and remembered Mum, Dad, Alison, Ken, Jordy, Shaylah, Tayah & Trenton Craig FOSTER 6 - 6 to 7 - 10 Grandson of Ruth Craig, my beautiful angel grandson; another rosebud in heaven BJ (William) WALKER 18 - 9 to 21 - 6 Son of Linda, Brother of Kim and Mandy You are the star that shines for eternity Rodney Wayne BOYD 18 - 11 to 15 - 4 Son of Rosemary, Brother of Ben Loved by all, sadly missed, never forgotten Scott Byron CLARKE 8 - 10 to 7 - 9 We miss you always & will never forget you Love Mum, Dad, Jason, Shane, Justan, Brandon & James Steven Wayne HEDLEY 12 - 9 to 19 - 12 Beyond the beautiful sunset, free from all worry and pain Steve walks with me. Mum Stuart David ROBERTSON 9 - 9 to 7 - 12 Son of Maureen, Brother of Blake, Bonnie & Rod Everyday we remember you and love you all the more Missing you so much Vincent Lee BLAGDEN 15 - 11 to 15 - 11 Forever in our memory with love always xxxx Mark, Anna, Leigh & Dean McKenzie Jean Anne McGUIGAN 18 - 11 to 29 - 07 My darling Daughter, My Heart, My Love

You bought me such joy like a warm, radiant sun That brightened my day

Life is not the same without you

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

SUPPORT GROUPS

Bunbury Coffee Morning When: Held as Required Contact: Wendy - Ph: 9725-0153 Busselton Friendship Group When: Alternate Thursdays - Time: 2pm Where: Old Post Office Tea Rooms, Queen Street, Busselton - Contact: Nola - Ph: 9751-1624 Dunsborough Coffee Morning When: 2nd Wednesday each Month – Time: 10.30am – 12.30pm Where: Samudra Cafe, Dunsborough - Contact: Maureen – Ph: 0407-998-036 Grandparent’s Coffee Morning – Please Bring a Share Plate – All Welcome! When: 2nd Thursday each Month – Time: 10.30am – Dates: 13th September – 11th October – 8th November Where: Lady Brand Drive, Greenfields, Mandurah - Contact: Pam Bolwerk – Ph: 9587-2689 Mandurah Evening Friendship and Siblings Groups When: 1st Thursday each Month – Time: 7pm – 9pm – Dates: 6th September – 4th October – 1st November Where: Eastlake Church, Cnr Lakes Road & Murdoch Drive, Mandurah (Opposite Peel Health Campus) Contact: The Centre – Ph: 9535-7761 Mandurah Coffee Morning -Please bring a share plate—All welcome When: Saturday 22nd September—start 10.30am Where: 11 Hokitika Drive, Dudley Park Contact: Wendy Wormall 9535 2328 or centre 9535 7761 Metro Groups – TCF WA – Ph: 9486-8711 (for details) Rockingham Coffee Morning – Please Bring a Share Plate – All Welcome! When: To Be Advised! Where: 65 Charthouse Road, Waikiki Contact: The Centre – Ph: 9535-7761 or Contact: Barbara – Ph: 9527-1331 Suicide Survivors Support Group When: 3rd Friday each Month – Time: 9.30am – 12.30pm – Dates: 20th Sept – 18th Oct – 15th Nov Where: Main Meeting Room, Lotteries House, 7 Anzac Place, Mandurah - Contact: The Centre : 9535-7761

BOOK REVIEW

‘A Man You Know Is Grieving/When A Man Faces Grief’ by Thomas R. Golden & James E. Miller;

Two, insightful authors who have grieved, but are also professionals, that work with men who are grieving.

This is a book written in two parts; firstly, 12 Ideas for Helping Him Heal from Loss, which is designed for the spouse or partner of the man suffering from grief and loss. Secondly, 12 Practical Ideas to help You Heal from Loss, written with the purpose of introducing you to the basics of ‘masculine’ grief and to identify your

pathway through the grieving process.

You may have a Father, a Brother, a Son, a Friend or a Work Colleague, presently suffering the devastating loss of a loved one or maybe it is a separation or divorce, job termination, illness, injury or disability, financial

setback, a move to an unfamiliar place or upheaval in his family or personal life that he is grieving; this book offers valuable information, written in a ‘male friendly’ manner to both teach the man’s loved ones the best and most sensitive way of dealing with him at this, most difficult time, as well as, to teach the man how to grieve safely and effectively. This book even covers the physical differences between men and woman in regard to genetics, the chemical function of the brain, hormonal function, social expectations; all of which have a

significant impact on the ‘how & why’ of his grieving process, and will effectively give his loved ones a greater

understanding of what he is experiencing and in turn, give him the time and space he needs to walk through this journey back to wholeness.

* Reviewed by Sue, TCF Mandurah Newsletter Co-Editor with thoughts from us all at TCF for the wonderful Fathers who

grieve their children and loved ones this Fathers Day.

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Telephone Friends - The Compassionate Friends

Please call a telephone friend whenever you need to talk “We need not walk alone”

Siblings BUNBURY Russ 9797-0625 Mandy 0413 168 301 BUNBURY Wendy 9725 0153 BUSSELTON Nola 9751-1624 Bereaved Fathers DONNYBROOK Judy 9764-1232 Gary 9593 2317 & Sue 9764-1262 Phil (Evenings Only) 9525 3340 DUNSBOROUGH Maureen 0407-998-036 Russ (Bunbury) 9797 0625 HALLS HEAD Robyn 9582-9354 KOJONUP Roberta 9833-6232 Suicide MANDURAH Drop-In-Centre 9535-7761 Margot (Centre) 9535 7761 or (a/h) 9582 8113 MANDURAH After / Hours 9582-8113 Jill 9739 1224 MANDURAH Rosemary 9535-9054 Russ 9797 0625 NARROGIN Keith & Kathy 9881-4152 WARNBRO Barbara 0433-816-445 Miscarriage/Infant/Stillbirth WAIKIKI Janet 9467-5867 Joanne 0403 336 392 or 9535 7092 TCF WA Drop-In-Centre 9486-8711 (After 6pm & Weekends)

TCF Interstate and Overseas Contacts

Telephone Web Site

ACT/QUEANBEYAN (02) 6286-6134 www.thecompassionatefriends.org.au/ACT.htm NEW SOUTH WALES (02) 9290-2355 www.thecompassionatefriends.org.au NORTHERN TERRITORY (08) 8927-1320 QUEENSLAND (07) 3254-2657 www.compassionatefriendsqld.org.au/ SOUTH AUSTRALIA (08) 8351-0344 www.compassionatefriendssa.org.au TASMANIA (03) 6261-4250 VICTORIA (03) 9888-4944 www.compassiontefriendsvictoria.org.au UNITED KINGDOM (08) 451 20 37 85 www.tcf.org.uk UNITED STATES OF AMERICA www.compassionatefriends.org SOUTH AFRICA http://compassionatefriends.org.za/cms/index.php?index SWITZERLAND www.verin-regenbogen.ch CANADA www.tcfcanada.net/

Some Internet Resources

www.dougy.org National centre for grieving children & families; this is a non-profit resource www.grieflossrecovery.com Poems, articles, memoirs, memorials, links - professional site www.silentgrief.com For those who have suffered a miscarriage and later child loss www.bereavement-poems-articles.com www.bereavementmag.com www.alivealone.org For childless parents www.beyondblue.org.au National depression initiative www.parentsofsuicide-aunz.com Suicide grief support internet community www.mesotheliomaweb.org Resource information & support www.gonetoosoon.org A forum for questions, answers and support from others with similar loss www.recover-from-grief.com

www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng Light a virtual candle and/or leave a short message

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Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Other Useful Contacts

Alcohol & Drug Information Services Free-Call 1800-198-024 Allambee (Sexual Assault Counselling) 9535-8263 ARAFMI (Mental Health Carers & Friends Association) 9335-7575 Beyond Blue Depression Helpline www.beyondblue.org.au 1300-224-636 Centre Care 9721-5177 Coroners Counselling Services 9321-2491 Crisis Care Free-Call 1800-199-008 Coronial Enquiries 9420-5200 Denise Wilson (Ocean Breeze Counselling) 0433-625-921 John Noonan (Counselling) 9535-2455 Lifeline 131-114 Mental Health Emergency Response Line Peel Region 1800-676-822 Rainbows: School Program for Grieving Children Robyn Freeman 9586-4400 Relationships Australia 9535-5711 Samaritans Free-Call 1800-198-313 Suicide Call-Back Services (SCDS) - Bereaved by Suicide National Free Counselling 1300-659-467 S.I.D.S & KIDS Western Australia Free-Call 1800-199-466 S.I.D.S & KIDS Mandurah Helen 9535-3804 South Coast Women’s Health Services – Rockingham www.schs.com.au 9550-0900 State Coroner 9425-2900 Peel Legal Services 9581-4511 Palmerston Counselling Services Drug Related 9581-4010 Peel Youth Services / Family Support Officer Tanya Transitions Counselling Karen Duchar 0414-344-774 Victim Support Services Rockingham 9527-7699 Youth health Services Rockingham 9527-7464 Widow’s & Widower’s Association Kath 9534-5760 Young Widow & Widowers Association Ruth 0407-983-093 or 9581-8443

If any TCF member has found an agency or counsellor, other than those listed,

To be helpful, please advise us and we will consider their information for inclusion in future issues.

International Star Registry

The “International Star Registry” enables a star to be named in honour of a loved one. A certificate of record and a chart which pinpoints the star is provided.

One of our members received this gift and has framed the certificate and chart. What a lovely Memorial. The Australia / N.Z office can be contacted on:

stars@starregistry.com.au The web site is www.starregistry.com.au

Disclaimer: Every effort has been made to ensure that this information is accurate and up to date,

but the Mandurah Chapter of The Compassionate Friends will not be liable for any loss,

damage or injury arising from any incorrect information or services listed herein.

Material in this newsletter is copyright@ The Compassionate Friends Mandurah Chapter unless otherwise indicated. Editors Note—-Opinions expressed in articles in this newsletter are those of the writers and not necessarily of T.C.F. Mandurah. It is not always possible to publish all articles received. The editor reserves the right to edit any articles. T.C.F Mandurah gratefully acknowledges all contributions to the newsletter, including any of which we have not been able to find copyright