For That, I am Thankful It doesn't seem to get any better,

but it doesn't get any worse either.

For that, I am thankful.

There are no more pictures to be taken, but there are memories to be

cherished, For that I am thankful.

There is a missing chair at the table, but the circle of family gathers

close.

For that, I am thankful.

The turkey is smaller, but there is still stuffing. For that, I am thankful.

The days are shorter, but the nights are softer.

For that, I am thankful.

The pain is still there, but it lasts only moments.

For that, I am thankful.

The calendar still turns,

the holidays still appear and they still cost too much.

And I am still here. For that, I am thankful.

The room is still empty, the soul still aches,

but the heart remembers.

For that, I am thankful.

The guests still come, the dishes pile up,

but the dishwasher works.

For that, I am thankful.

The name is still missing, the words still unspoken,

but the silence is shared. For that, I am thankful.

The snow still falls, the sled still waits,

and the spirit still wants to.

For that, I am thankful.

The stillness remains, but the sadness is smaller.

For that I am thankful.

The moment is gone, but the love is forever.

For that, I am blessed. For that, I am grateful...

Love was once (and still is) a part of my being...

For that I am living.

I am living... For that, I am thankful.

May your holidays be filled with reasons to be thankful. Having

loved and having been loved is perhaps the most wondrous reason

of all.

From the book "Holiday Help ~ A Guide for Hope and Healing" By Darcie D. Sims and Sherry L. Williams

~reprinted from TCF Atlanta Newsletter November December 2001

http://www.tcfatlanta.org NovDec2001.html

Fall

Leaves so bright and golden in the sun, glistening in early morning with dew. Another season has begun, another fall to see, without you. Pumpkins so ripe and beautifully bright, in the still of a frosty night. An array of colors for us to enjoy, Their beauty only dulled by the thought Of our emptiness without our little boy. The wind and the cold and the awesome dark skies, Somehow disappear in the memory of your beautiful brown eyes. We see the beauty of fall colors so clear, Oh how I wish you were here! The harvest moon shining through the barren trees, as we prepare for the first hint of snow. Reminds us of a child who only meant to please, And all those memories only you will know. Life goes on, as the seasons do. But there’s one thing that stays the same, And that is OUR LOVE FOR YOU!

~Jean Staicar

TCF, Central Iowa

There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness,

but the power. They speak more eloquently than ten

thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming

grief… And unspeakable love.

~Washington Irving

Meeting Topics & Info November 5 - Decorate Luminaries Come join us as we decorate a luminary in memory of our child, sibling, or grandchild. (SEE BELOW) November 22 - Deadline to send in photo for video presentation for Candle Light Remembrance Program December 3 - Holiday Potluck (SEE BELOW) December 4 - Deadline to send in order for Luminary December 13 - Candle Light Remembrance Program

Welcome New Members

Attending your first meeting takes courage and it is always hard to say “welcome” because we are so very sorry for the reason which made you eligible for our membership in TCF. However, we are glad you found us! We cannot take away your pain but we can offer our friendship and support, Do try and to attend at least 3 meetings so you have a chance to meet others who are bereaved and discover that special acceptance that occurs with new friends who truly understand. New to our chapter are: Marie Sprague, Mother of Steven

December 3 @ 6:30 Our December meeting will be our Holiday Potluck Dinner. Please bring your favorite, or

maybe your child’s favorite dish to share with our group. Paper goods, dessert and drinks will be provided.

Our meeting will begin at 6:30 instead of 7:00 for this special dinner meeting only.

During our November meeting we will be selling and decorating luminaries in memory of our children, siblings or grandchildren for $10.00 each as a small fundraiser. All the necessary supplies will be available for you. This is the only fundraiser our

chapter has. If you can’t make it to this meeting , please

send in page 7 of this newsletter (an order form) by DEC 4. and we'll gladly make one for you. As this is a fundraiser, we would appreciate that you not bring luminaries from home or from past years to our ceremony. These beautiful, lighted luminaries will line the walkway to our ceremony and then are yours to take home! Also, please don’t forget if your child’s picture is not already on our video presentation and you want it to be included, you will need to add it. Please email a digital photo to Alice at TCF.SCV@gmail by

November 22. A digital photo is preferred, but if you only a have a hard copy, please contact Alice at 661-4374 for instructions.

15h Annual Candle Lighting

December 13 @ 6:30pm New Indoor Venue

The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memory of children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries. Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the Worldwide Candle Lighting, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten. Our local chapter will be holding its 15th Annual Candlelight Remembrance Program at a new indoor venue located at the Child & Family Center located at 21545 Centre Pointe Pkwy, Santa Clarita, beginning at 6:30pm. This very touching evening includes music, video presentation, the reading of poems in addition to the lighting of candles at 7:00 p.m. Candles will be provided to all who attend. The holiday season is an extremely difficult time of year for families grieving the death of a child. This candle lighting ceremony is a symbolic way of showing the love we continue to carry for our children, even though they can no longer be with us physically. Please invite your friends, neighbors, and relatives to come and share with you this very moving celebration of all children who have died.

My tears turned from sadness to tears of joy. I knew that was Chad. I knew he had come to get some of my Cornbread Dressing. The only regret that I have is that I did not let him come in. I knew if I went back to the dining room and told my friends that was Chad they really would think I was crazy. If I had to do it over again… it wouldn’t matter but at the time I had not gotten involved with TCF or did not know another bereaved parent...so to me my “crazy thoughts” were just that and I thought they probably were not normal. We do not have butterflies in Atlanta in late November. I choose to believe it was a sign from my son. This will be our fifth Thanksgiving without him. The pain has softened. My tears do not come as often. The memories are sweeter. My heart is a little lighter. My love for my son is as strong as ever. I feel his presence in everything I do. I do not fear I will forget anymore. I know he is with me. This Thanksgiving my plan is to make a LARGE pan of southern cornbread dressing and take it to the hospital to share with my daughter, who is a RN, and all the staff in the PICU at Children’s Hospital and the parents who are spending Thanksgiving with their children in the Intensive Care Unit. For some, this will be their last Thanksgiving with their own children. I wish for those of you who are facing your first Thanksgiving that you can read this and know that it will get better. You will find joy again. There is hope. The love will always remain and your child will always be with you. Of course, it is not like we hoped it would be but it can be good. Our children will always be a “present” part of our lives...they will not be forgotten. I pray you find peace this holiday season. I pray your sorrows will soften and your memories bring smiles. I pray you will be able to enjoy your other family members. I pray you know you are not alone.

In Memory of All Our Children,

~Jayne Newton, TCF Atlanta, GA In Memory of Chad Gordon 5/72 -9/96

Butterflies In

November

Thanksgiving was Chad’s favorite holiday. He loved the food and the football games without the hassle of all the Christmas going ons. I have so many memories of Thanksgivings past. I remember the last Thanksgiving we were together. Chad called me from Alabama and said he and Mandy were on their way to Atlanta and to please save him something to eat. I said “of course I will save you something to eat, but I thought you were eating with Mandy’s family? Chad said “Mom, I think they make their stuffing with “Grits”...need I say more? Just save me some.” Chad died in September 1996. Thanksgiving came way too fast. For those who have gone through their first Thanksgiving you know the feelings I am describing. Everything seems to go in slow motion with the inability to more forward...the heaviness and the physical and mental fatigue...the pain in your heart, the lump in your throat and the tears in your eyes. No, I did not want Thanksgiving to come this year or ever again! My daughter was away at school and I knew she would be coming home. My mother was struggling with lung cancer and I knew there would not be many more Thanksgivings with her. What do I do? I think we all decided that if we could just go through the motions it would be better than doing nothing and I think we all did it for each other. I cried the whole time I was preparing the meal. I do not remember anything other than the tears. Several friends wanted to join us for Thanksgiving that year and they volunteered to bring a turkey and dessert. I readily accepted their offer. We gathered together at noon, my husband said the blessing (which I really had a hard time with) and then I wanted to read a poem in Chad’s memory. I asked everyone if they would bear with me as I read this. Several times I could not speak. The words would not come, but I was determined that I was going to read this poem. When I neared the end of the poem, I felt the lump in my throat and I knew I was going to start crying out loud. As soon as I finished I got up from the table and left the room. There was dead silence. No one spoke a word. Then I heard one of our friends say “Look at that butterfly. I can’t believe there is a butterfly this time of year. And it looks as though he wants to come in. He is hitting himself against the glass door.”

Was Received From:

Bobbie Mathers

In Loving Memory of her son:

Eric Spencer 12/29 - 11/2

Love GiftsLove GiftsLove GiftsLove Gifts A Love Gift is a wonderful way to remember your child, grandchild, or sibling’s birthday or angel dates or just to say I love you. What better way than to have their photo included in our newsletter along with a special memory, thought or message, article or poem from you. If anyone would like to make a donation in memory of their child, grandchild, or sibling you may give it to Alice or Diane at our meeting or mail it to Alice at 27949 Park Meadow Dr., Canyon Country, 91387. You can also email the info to TCF.SCV@gmail.com Love gifts should be received by the 15th of the month to be placed in the following month’s newsletter. What a special way to share and remember your loved one! Our chapter exists solely on voluntary, tax deductible donations. We thank you in advance for any donations you may be able to give or send. Your donations help to pay the expenses of our newsletter, purchase books & brochures, coffee & refreshments, new member’s packets, our rental space and other miscellaneous supplies. They also fund our annual Balloon Release and Candle Lighting programs. We sincerely appreciate your support!

November Mourning

Memories rain down like falling leaves Amidst a torrent of tears Fall used to be my favorite - Now November brings only fear. For October was the last full month That we could share together. My bright October full of joy When again we heard your laughter. Then darkness came November eight Now there is only pain. For when your gentle heart was stilled We knew only loss and shame. How could we lose our only son? Our precious gift from God? We miss you with an intense love And grief is the road we plod. Never will I feel the joy That autumn used to bring - Although I smile at memories Of you saying funny things. Those days we spent are treasures; How I wish for just one more! So now, I'm waiting for the day We meet on eternity's shore.

Sarah Chavez TCF Greater Ozarks, MO

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,

and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has

been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Candlelight Remembrance Program December 13, 2015 6:30pm6:30pm6:30pm6:30pm

Photo Presentation &Luminaries

Child & Family Center---New Indoor Venue!New Indoor Venue!New Indoor Venue!New Indoor Venue! 21545 Centre Pointe Pkwy. Santa Clarita, CA 91350

Sponsored by the Compassionate Friends Of Santa Clarita

Again this year we will have a video presentation of our children’s, sibling’s, and grandchildren’s photos. You do not have to be member of the Santa Clarita Chapter to have their photo included in this presentation. Photos must be received by November 22 to be included in the video. A digital photo is preferred and should be emailed to Alice at TCF.SCV@gmail.com. If you only have a hard copy of your photo, it can be sent to Alice Renolds at 27949 Park Meadow Dr., Canyon Country, CA 91387. Please include your name, loved one’s name, address, and phone number so your photo can be returned to you. If your loved one was in the presentation last year, they will be included again this year.

Also available for purchase are luminaries in memory of your child/sibling/grandchild as a small fundraiser for $10.00. If you are unable to make our November meeting to come and decorate one, please fill out and mail in the order form below. We will take care of the rest for you and put it out on the walkway the night of the program! As this is a fundraiser, we would appreciate that you not bring your own luminary or ones from past years.

The deadline for ordering a luminary is December 4.

# _____of Luminaries with ba�ery operated candle ($10.00 each) Total $

Name(s) to appear on Luminary (PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY)

Please mail order form and check (made out to TCF of Santa Clarita) to:

Alice Renolds

27949 Park Meadow Dr.

Canyon Country, CA 91387

Orders must be received by December 4, 2015