Session 10: X3pure Men’s SeriesReinventing Our Lives

Review

ReviewUnwanted Sexual Behavior

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Review

White-Knuckle Change||

Abstinence||

Relapse

Real Change||

Understanding of Physiology||

Abstinence||

Acceptance of Conditional Love||

Pursuit of Unconditional Love

Unwanted Sexual Behavior||

Acceptance of Conditional Love

• Non-Sexual Emotional Trigger is Conditional Love

Acceptance of Conditional Love

Conditional Love

Conditional Love• Self-differentiation:

Conditional Love• Self-differentiation:

- an ability to see yourself as separate from those people or groups of

people in your life who love you conditionally, which means that they

don’t just love you for who you are (warts and all), but love you only if

you act or behave in a certain way.

Conditional Love

Conditional Love• We all come from and belong to different “systems”.

Conditional Love• We all come from and belong to different “systems”. - Whatever the role we grew up playing, we are expected to continue

playing that role by the rest of the members of the family because their

roles depend on us remaining in the role they expect us to play.

Reinventing Our Lives

• We feel drawn toward acting out sexually when the world around us makes us feel as if it is not OK to be whom we are and that in order to receive love we need to be someone whom we aren’t.

Reinventing Our Lives

• We feel drawn toward acting out sexually when the world around us makes us feel as if it is not OK to be whom we are and that in order to receive love we need to be someone whom we aren’t.

Reinventing Our Lives

• If conditional love is the cause for our acting out sexually, then the solution to our unwanted sexual behavior is the conversion, or change, of conditional love into unconditional love.

Four Target Points

Four Target PointsRecovery Target #1: Psychological Examination of Feelings.

Four Target PointsRecovery Target #1: Psychological Examination of Feelings.

Recovery Target #2: Seeking, Establishing and Engaging in Community.

Four Target PointsRecovery Target #1: Psychological Examination of Feelings.

Recovery Target #2: Seeking, Establishing and Engaging in Community.

Recovery Target #3: Truth, Trust and Territory.

Four Target PointsRecovery Target #1: Psychological Examination of Feelings.

Recovery Target #2: Seeking, Establishing and Engaging in Community.

Recovery Target #3: Truth, Trust and Territory.

Recovery Target #4: Development and Exploration of Genuine Faith.

Reinventing Our Lives

Reinventing Our Lives • To become and remain sober means that a man needs to reinvent his life