WritingThatWorks

ThirdEdition

Howtocommunicateeffectivelyinbusiness:e-maillettersmemos

presentationsplansreportsproposalsresumesspeeches

KenmethRomanandJoelRaphaelson

Iflanguageisnotcorrect,thenwhatissaidisnotwhatismeant;Ifwhatissaidisnotwhatismeant,

Thenwhatoughttobedoneremainsundone.

—CONFUCIUS

Contents

Epigraph

Preface:WhyaThirdEdition?

1.WritingThatWorks

2.Don’tMumble—andOtherPrinciplesofEffectiveWriting

3.“ILoveMyComputer”

4.E-mail—theGreatMailboxintheSky

5.MemosandLettersThatGetThingsDone

6.WritingforanAudience:PresentationsandSpeeches

7.PlansandReportsThatMakeThingsHappen

8.RecommendationsandProposalsThatSellIdeas

9.AskingforMoney:SalesandFund-RaisingLetters

10.CopingwithPoliticalCorrectness

11.WritingaResume—andGettinganInterview

12.EditingYourself

13.MakingItEasytoRead

OtherBooksThatWillHelpYouWriteBetter

Acknowledgments

AbouttheAuthor

PraiseforWritingThatWorks,3rdEdition

PreviousBooks

Copyright

AboutthePublisher

PrefaceWhyaThirdEdition?

Thefirsteditionofthisbookwaswrittenonatypewriter;wedelivereda typed manuscript to the publisher. We wrote the second edition oncomputersanddeliveredaprintedmanuscript.Thiseditionwaswrittenoncomputersandemailedtooureditor—nomanuscript,notevendisks.That illustratesoneof thechanges in thewaypeoplecommunicate that

propelled us to undertake a thorough revision. E-mail has become soubiquitous thatweaddeda chapter and revised severalothers to take fullaccountofitsinfluence.Anotherchangeinrecentyearsisthefadingoftheinternal memo — displaced in many uses by e-mail, in others by thepresentation“deck.”Our purpose, however, remains unchanged.Wewrote the book to help

thosemillionsofnonprofessionalwriterswhomustusethewrittenwordtoget results—inbusiness, ingovernment, ineducation, in thearts.That’sstillourgoal.Norhavewefoundanycausetoabandontheprinciplesweespouse.To

thecontrary,thespeedandeaseofe-mailandwordprocessingserveasaninvitation to sloppy writing. Replacing paper with a PC screen doesn’tchangetheneedforclear,precisecommunication.Andreplacingaformalmemo with a bullet-pointed presentation deck doesn’t justify loosethinking.Inthesecondedition,weintroducedsomethoughtsonhowtoavoidthe

pitfallsofsexistlanguage.Wehaveexpandedthosethoughtsintoaseparatechapter on political correctness — and the extent to which it should orshouldnotinfluencethewayyouwrite.Throughoutthebook,wehavefreshenedexamplesandsharpenedpoints

bypracticingwhatwepreachaboutediting.Comingfromaworldofthirty-secondcommercialshastrainedustocuttotheessence—andhelpedkeepthisbookslimandourmessageaccessible.Nothingthatfollowsisacademicortheoretical.Youwillfindadviceyou

canacton,wheneveryouhavetoconvertemptyscreenorblankpaperinto

a letter, a memo, a report, a recommendation, a proposal, a speech, aresume. You’ll get help from specific side-by-side examples of goodwritingversusbad.“Generationsagothetelephonekilledtheartofexecutivewriting.Now

it’spoisedforacomeback,”reportsTheWallStreetJournal,notingthate-mailsendseveryonetoakeyboard.Nowondercompaniesinstitutewritingcourses.Effectivewriting ishardworkeven for thebestwriters (andevenona

computer),buttheprinciplesaresimple.Theydon’trequireunusualtalentorspecialskills.Theyareeasytounderstandandeasytoputintouse.Whatyou do need is a degree of determination— the perseverance to be sureyou’vesaidwhatyouwanttosay.Thisbookaimstohelpyoudothatwithlessdifficultyandmoreconfidence,andget theresultsyou’re lookingfor—fromeverythingyouwrite.

1WritingThatWorks

“ToomanyofthecommunicationsIgetaremeaningless,”observesaleadingCEO.“Theydon’thelpmeunderstandwhatactionthewriterwantsmetotake.Theywastemytime.”We could fill a dozen pages with complaints of this sort. “Unclear, poorly

written,orconfusing”istheverdictofvicepresidentsoftwohundredmajorU.S.companies on a full third of the business writing they confront. New York’sCommissioner ofEducation, frustrated that somany of the letters andmemospassing through his office were “confusing” or “did not answer questionsquicklyenough,”orderedhis250topofficialstotakeacourseinwriting.Andsoitgoes. Itaddsuptoachorusof laments thatsofewpeoplecanputa thoughtintowordsthatmakeitclear,stateitprecisely,andtakenomoreofthereader’stimethaniscalledfor.Yet clarity, desirable as it is, is not the goal. The goal is effective

communication—writingthatworks.Whatdoesthereaderneedtoknowtocomprehendyourreportandendorseits

conclusions?Toapproveyourplan,andpayforit?Torespondswiftlytoyoure-mail?Tosendmoneyforyourcharity,yourcandidate,yourproductorservice?Toinviteyoutoajobinterview?Tomaketherightbusinessdecision?You’renot likely toget the results you seek if yourwriting ismurky, long-

winded,boggeddownbyjargon,andtopsyturvyinitsorderofthought.Justasunproductive is what two Stanford professors, Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I.Sutton,call“smart talk.”Writing in theHarvardBusinessReview in1999, theprofessorsidentifysmarttalkasamajorobstacletotakingactioninbusiness.Acharacteristicofsmarttalkisthatitisunnecessarilycomplicatedorabstract(orboth).Peopleseldomactonwhattheycannotunderstand.Goodresultsareevenlesslikelyifyoufloodthereaderwithinformationthatisn’torganizedtoleadtoanactionorisn’trelevanttoagraspofthesubject.Even the federal government is starting to recognize the benefits of simple,

clearwriting.TheSecuritiesandExchangeCommission inaugurated theplain-language movement by ordering mutual fund companies to rewrite theirprospectuses. The Veterans Benefits Administration trained employees in itsinsurancedivisionhowtowritemoreclearly,andtheresponseratetoitsletters

increased—savingtheagency$500,000ayear.Companies are seeing how confusing communication ties up their service

centers, and how clear communications makes them more efficient andcompetitive.Oneexecutivesuggestsadiscipline—puttingdownfirstwhatyouwantthe

readertodo,nextthethreemostimportantthingsthereaderneedstounderstandtotakethataction,thenstartingtowrite.Whenyou’redone,hesuggestsaskingyourselfwhether ifyouwere thereader,wouldyoutakeactionon thebasisofwhatiswritten.

Peoplewhowritewelldowell

Togetactionfrombusypeople,yourwritingmustcutthroughtotheheartof

thematter.Itmustrequireaminimumoftimeandeffortonthereader’spart.Theimportance of this increaseswith the importance of your reader.At any level,readersarelikelytobeswampedeitherwithpaperworkoratwenty-four-hour-a-day stream of e-mail, or both. Junior executives may feel obliged to plowthrougheverythingthatcomestheirway.Thepresidentdoesn’t—anddamnedwellwon’t.Aseniorexecutivesaysthisaboutaclient:

Hisdeskisusuallyabsolutelyclean,butIknowthatsomewhereinthatman’slifethere’satremendouspileofpaper.IfIwanthimtoreadthememohimself,I’dbettergetrighttothepointandI’dbetterbeclear,orhe’lljustpass it along to somebody else, with a testy little note asking for atranslation.

Thebetteryouwrite,thelesstimeyourbossmustspendrewritingyourstuff.

Ifyouareambitious,itwon’thurttomakelifeeasierforpeopleaboveyou.Badwritingslowsthingsdown;goodwritingspeedsthemup.Theonlywaysomepeopleknowyouisthroughyourwriting.Itcanbeyour

mostfrequentpointofcontact,oryouronlyone,withpeopleimportanttoyourcareer—majorcustomers,seniorclients,yourowntopmanagement.Tothosewomen and men, your writing is you. It reveals how your mind works. Is itforcefulorfatuous,deftorclumsy,crisporsoggy?Readerswhodon’tknowyoujudgeyoufromtheevidenceinyourwriting.Theirjudgmentofyouspecificallyincludestheevidenceyougivetheminthe

e-mailyoudashoff.Itcomesasasurprisetomanypeoplethatreadersofe-maildonotabandon theirstandards justbecause theyare lookingatascreenratherthanapieceofpaper.

“Because it’s just e-mail,” says Christie Hefner, CEO of PlayboyEnterprises,“peoplethinktheydon’thavetobegrammaticalorspellthingsrightortakethetroubletowritewell.It’sveryannoying.”

Slapdashcomesacrossasslapdash,wordyaswordy,andpoorspellingand

grammarassignsofignoranceorsloppiness.ItisbesttosticktostandardEnglishusageandtoobservetheconventionsof

spellingandpunctuation.Weadvisethisnotoutofacademicfussinessbutfromobservinghow thingsare. Ifyouwrite“it’s”withanapostrophe to signify thepossessive of “it” (wrong), instead of the contraction of “it is” (right), not allreaderswill detect your lapse.But thosewho domay be the oneswho count.Therestillseemstobesomecorrelationbetweenliteracyandseniority.Importantmattersareusuallyexaminedinwriting—either inapaper tobe

studiedprivately,or inaformalpresentation.It isn’tenoughthatyouknowallaboutyoursubject.Youmustmakeyourselfcleartosomebodywhohasonlyafraction of your expertise. Above all, you must express your point of viewpersuasively.Wehaveseenhundredsofpapersthatassertapointofviewwithenergeticenthusiasm,butastonishinglyfewthatmakeapersuasivecase.Oftenenoughthecaseitselfisagoodone.Butthewriterself-destructsinanyorallofthewayswegointolateron.“It is an immutable law of business,” said the former head of ITT, Harold

Geneen,“thatwordsarewords,promisesarepromises,butonlyperformanceisreality.”Byitself,goodwritingisnoguaranteeofsuccess.Butwordsaremorethanwords,andpoorperformancecanoftenbe traced topoorcommunication.Yourabilitytowritepersuasivelycanhelpyougetthingsdoneandarriveatyourgoal—today,thismonth,orduringthedecadesofyourcareer.

Makingtimetowritewell

Writingbetterdoesnotmeanwritingmore.Thereispaperenoughinourlives

now—despite the computer and e-mail—andprecious little time to read it.Thisbooksuggestssomeofthewaysthatimprovingyourwritingcansavetimefor other people. But what about your time? While you respect the time ofothers,youmustalsoprotectyourown.It takes time towritewell. People arewrongwhen they say there are only

twenty-fourhours inaday,observesmanagementguruPeterDrucker—thereare actually only two, perhaps three, that you can use productively, and thedifferencebetweenbusyexecutivesandeffectiveonesishowtheyusethattime.Effective means picking your spots, concentrating your energies on a majordocumentorprojectorspeechthatwillmakeadifference.Thebiggesttimewasterisshufflingthingsfromonepiletoanotherwhileyou

drowninaseaofindecision.Effectiveexecutivestrytohandlepaperonlyonce—hardtodo,butitworks.Theydeleteorrespondtoe-mailonthespot.Theydecidequicklywhethertoanswer,file,ortossout.Theyrespondtoeasymattersinstantly—byreturne-mailorthroughcommentswrittendirectlyonlettersandmemos and returned at once. Or send short handwritten notes (or e-notes) ofdirection,praise,orcriticism.Majorpapers,ontheotherhand,requirestudy.Readthemactively,gettothe

principalarguments,anddecidewhatmustbedone.Considera“maturingfile”forknottyproblems.Manydisappearifgiventime.Otherscallformorethought.There isno rule that saysyoumust answeror file everything that is sent to

you.FortunecolumnistStewartAlsopbecamesoswampedwiththefloodofe-mail that he first stopped responding to every message, then stopped readingthemall.Hisreasoning:

The fact that someone sends me a message does not automaticallyimposeanobligationonmyparttorespond.Ifthatweretrue,thenitwouldlogicallyfollowthatIshouldallowstrangerstorulemylife.Idon’tlikethatidea.SoI’vestartedtodeletemessageswithoutreadingthemfirst.

Thiskindofdisciplinesetsasidethetimeforthetrulyimportantasopposedto

themerelyurgent.Ithelpsyouclearthedecks—attheofficeorathome—for

thejobsthatreallymatter.Highamongthemwillbemajorpiecesthatyouwrite.The rest of this book provides specific advice on skills and techniques that

willhelpyouputwhatevertimeyouspendonwritingtogooduse.Implicitonevery page is the idea— the truth— that the ultimate time-saver is effectivecommunication.

2Don’tMumble-andOtherPrinciplesofEffectiveWriting

WhenGodwantedtostopthepeoplefrombuildingtheTowerofBabel,hedidnotsmite themdownwitha thunderbolt.Hesaid:“…letusgodown,andthere confound their language, that they may not understand one another’sspeech.”He could think of no surer way to keep the tower unbuilt than to garble

communications.WhiletheLordconfoundedlanguageonpurpose,humansdoitinadvertently—albeitwithsimilarresults.Thesuggestionsinthischapterwillhelpyouavoidthatfateforyourowntowers,whatevertheymaybe.

Aboveall,don’tmumble

Once you’ve decided what you want to say, come right out and say it.

Mumblerscommandlessattentionthanpeoplewhospeakup.KeepinmindE.B.White’ssoberinginjunction:“Whenyousaysomething,makesureyouhavesaidit.Thechancesofyourhavingsaiditareonlyfair.”

Insteadofthis… …saythis

Itisgenerallydesirabletocommunicateyourthoughtsinaforthrightmanner.

Don’tmumble.

Toningyourpointdownandtiptoeingarounditmay,inmanycircumstances,temptthereadertotuneoutandallowhismindtowander.

Herearesomemoresuggestions:

1.Maketheorganizationofyourwritingclear

Mostpeople“writebadlybecausetheycannotthinkclearly,”observedH.L.

Mencken.Thereasontheycannotthinkclearly,hewenton,isthat“theylackthebrains.”Wedaretoassumethatyou,asareaderofthisbook,arebrainyenoughtothinkclearly.Youknowhowtoorganizeyourthoughtsintoacoherentorder.Nowyoumustmakethatorganizationcleartothereader.When youwrite anything longer than a few paragraphs, start by telling the

readerwhereyouaregoing.

Thecommitteeproposesthatthecompanyinvest$1millioninalibrary.

Firstyoumustknowwhereyouaregoingyourself.Makeanoutlineofyourmajorpoints,placing supportingdetails in theirproperposition.Then, inyourpaper,useyouroutlinetosignalthemajorpointsforyourreader.Underlineandnumbereachimportantsectionheading.Thisservesthesamepurposeaschaptertitlesinabook.Endwithasummary.Andkeepinmindthatasummary isnotaconclusion.

Yoursummaryshouldintroducenonewideas;itshouldsummarize,asbrieflyaspossible,themostimportantpointsyouhavemade.If your paper comes to a conclusion — the point of your case — your

summary should summarize that too, to fix the essentials of yourmessage inyourreader’smind.

Summary: Make an outline; use your outline to help your reader;numberandunderlinesectionheadings;summarize.

Note: Some lengthy documents start with a summary, often called

“ExecutiveSummary.”Thesameprinciplesapply.

2.Useshortparagraphs,shortsentences—andshortwords

Threemajorarticlesstartat the topof thefrontpageofevery issueofThe

Wall Street Journal.The first paragraphsof these articles are nevermore thanthreesentenceslong.Manyparagraphscontainonlyasinglesentence.

Thefirstsentencesthemselvesarecrispandcompact:

It all began to crumble the afternoonMom’sBestCookies, Inc., firedMom.

The cult of James Dean was fostered by his early death, and itdidn’thurthishometownany.

It’sofficial—WallStreetisdeclaringwaronsexism.

Bycontrast,hereisanexampleofthekindofmumblingfirstsentencethatconfrontspeopleintheirofficereading:

ThisprovidestheArgus,Mitchell&Dohnperspectiveonaconsumers'-eye view of the current position and growth potential of Blake’s Tea andJones’s Tea, the major entries of National Beverages in the English teamarket.

TheWallStreetJournalisbroadlyread—beyondbusinessandWallStreet.

Readersandeditorsalikegivemuchofthecredittoitsreadability.

Journal editors have put into practice this simple principle: Short sentencesandshortparagraphsareeasiertoreadthanlongones.Andeasiertounderstand.As for short words, you don’t have to turn your back on the riches and

subtletiesof theEnglish language.Nobodywillexcoriateyou forusinga longwordwhose precisemeaning no shorterword duplicates. But prefer the shortwordtothelongonethatmeansthesamething:

Preferthis… …tothisNow CurrentlyStart InitiateShow IndicateFinish FinalizeSpeedup,movealong ExpediteUse UtilizePlace,put Position

Reliance on longwords,which are oftenmore abstract than common shortones,canbeasignthatyouhavenotworkedoutexactlywhatyouwanttosay.Ifyou have distilled your thinking to its essence, you will probably be able toexpressitinsimplewords.HereishowGeorgeBernardShaw,inhisdaysasamusiccritic,describedhis

startled response to a newwork:“I didwithmy earswhat I dowithmy eyeswhenIstare.”OnceShawhadfiguredoutwhathisunusualreactionhadbeen,hewasabletodescribeitinwordsofonesyllable.Shakespeareexpressedthedeepestemotioninthesimplestwords.SaysKing

LearonthebrutalmurderofhisbelovedFool:“Andmypoorfoolishang’d.No,no,no life!Whyshouldadog,ahorse,arat,have life,and thounobreathatall?Thou’llcomenomore.Never,never,never,never!”TheReader’sDigest oncepublishedanarticleon thepowerof shortwords.

Thelastsentencepointedout,tothesurpriseofmostreaders,thatnowordintheeloquentthree-pageessayhadmorethanonesyllable.

3.Makeyourwritingactive—andpersonal

Good writers choose the active voice over the passive voice whenever

possible—andit’spossiblemostofthetime.Activeverbsaddenergytoyourwriting.That’swhythey’recalledactive.

Thissimplepracticealsoimprovesyourwritingbymakingitmorepersonal,ahumanbeing talking rather thanan institution.Thepassivevoicehideswho isspeakingortakingaction;theactivevoicerevealsit.

Passive,impersonal Active,personalItisrecommended WerecommendHeshouldbetold GetAlicetotellhimPersonalsacrificesarebeingmade,althoughthedegreeofparticipationisnotabsolutelyidentifiable.

Weseepeoplemakingsacrifices.Howmanypeople?Wecan’tsayforsure.

Alotofbusinesswritingmumblesalong in thepassivevoicebecausehighschoolEnglish teachers toldusnot tostart sentenceswith“I”without the firstperson singular (preferring “the cookies were eaten by me” to “I ate thecookies.”) But there are plenty of good ways to substitute active for passiveverbs.Hereisatypicalpassiveconstruction—followedbyactivealternatives.

It is respectfully requested that you send a representative to ourconference.

All of us here hope that you’ll send a representative Won’t youpleasesendarepresentative…

Somebodyrepresentingyourcompanywouldaddalot…

Willyougiveseriousthoughttosendingarepresentative?

Youcanseehowmucharepresentativefromyourcompanywouldcontribute…

Withoutarepresentativefromyourcompany,ourconferencewouldbeafizzle…

Youmight protest that these alternatives don’t all say quite the same thing.

Exactlyso.Yetanotheradvantageoftheactivevoiceisthatittendstopushyoutodecidepreciselywhatyouwanttosay,tobemorespecific.

4.Avoidvagueadjectivesandadverbs

A memo complains that the unfortunate outcome of some project “was

reasonably unexpected.” Reasonably? How unexpected is that? Or does thewritermeanthatareasonablepersonwouldnothaveexpectedsuchanoutcomeatall?Dependingontheintention,itwouldbealotlessvaguetowrite:

Fewofusexpectedthisoutcome.

Or,

Although I didn’t expect this outcome, it didn’t come as a completesurprise.

Stateyourmeaningprecisely:Vague PreciseVeryoverspent Overspentby$10,000Slightlybehindschedule Onedaylate

Someauthorities adviseweedingout adjectives andadverbs as amatterofprinciple. We don’t. Adjectives and adverbs are parts of speech, oftenindispensable to precise expression. But we do distinguish between lazy onesand vigorous ones. The lazy ones are so overused in some contexts that theyhavebecomeclichés:

Verygood GreatsuccessAwfullynice RichlydeservedBasicallyaccurate Vitallyimportant

Bycontrast,vigorousadjectivesandadverbssharpenyourpoint:Instantlyaccepted TinyraiseRudelyturneddown MoisthandshakeShortmeeting TiresomespeechCrisppresentation BlackcoffeeBafflinginstructions Lucidrecommendation

Chooseadjectivesandadverbsthatmakeyourmeaningmoreprecise.Donotusethemasmereexclamationpoints.

5.Usedown-to-earthlanguage

The pervasive use of professional jargon arises more out of fear than

arrogance,hypothesizesHarvardpaleontologistDr.StephanJayGould,authorofnineteen books. “Most young scholars slip into this jargon because they areafraid that, if theydon’t, theirmentorsor thepeoplewhopromote themwon’tthinktheyareserious.Ican’tbelievethatanyonewouldwanttowritethatway.”Avoid technicalorbusiness jargon.There is alwaysa simple,down-to-earth

wordthatsaysthesamethingastheshowofffadwordorvagueabstraction.Aleading offender in recent years is “proactive” — supposedly indicating theoppositeof“reactive.”What’swrongwith“active,”a realword?Or, formoreemphasis,“taketheinitiative.”Then there’s “off-line,” as in “Let’s go off-line on that subject.”What they

mean is, “Let’s discuss that separately, outside themeeting.” “Reengineering”seemstobeheretostay—incontextsthathavenothingtodowithengineers.Anythingthat’schangedinanywayislikelytobedescribedas“reengineered.”Wemight even have said,without raising eyebrows in trendy circles, thatwe“reengineered” thisbook.Whatwedidsay—thatweexpanded thebookandupdatedit—maystiryoulessbuttellsyoumore.Theuseof thiskindof languagebecame the targetofanofficegamecalled

Buzzword Bingo. The game is played in meeting rooms across the country.Playerssurreptitiouslytrackthejargonspoutedbytheirbosses,hopingtobethefirst in the room to fill out a bingo-like card listing the company’s prevailingbuzzwords. A discreet cough, rather than a shout of Bingo!, announces thewinner.We often urge people to write the way they talk. But developments like

BuzzwordBingo indicate a perverse trend:More andmorepeople inbusinessseem to be talking theway theywrite. In the box on the next page, there aresomewordsandphrasesthatmightappearonBuzzwordBingocards,followedbydown-to-earthalternatives.

Buzzword Down-to-earthEnglish

Tointerface Discuss,meet,workwith

Toimpact Toaffect,todotoModality Style,method

ResourceconstrainedNotenoughpeople(ormoney)

Incent MotivateSkillset Skills,abilitiesSolutionset Solutions

Resultful Effective,achieveresults

Meaningful Real,actual,tangible

Judgmentally IthinkNetnet ConclusionSuboptimal LessthanidealPushtheenvelope Testthelimits

Scopedown(frommicroscope) Lookatmoreclosely

Scopeout(fromtelescope) Takealongview

Workshopping Tryingout,workingon

NOTE:Popularusagehasconfusedparameterswithperimeter.Ifyoumeanlimits,saylimits.

What’swrongwithjargonlikethisbecomesobviouswhenitcomesatyouinclusters,whichisjusthowittendstoarrive:

Jargon Down-to-earthEnglishItisbelievedthatwiththeparametersthathavebeenimposedbyyourmanagement,aviableprogrammaybehardtoevolve.Netnet:Ifourprogramistoimpacttheconsumertotheoptimum,meaningfulinterfacewithyourmanagementmaybenecessitated.

Webelievethatthelimitsyourmanagementsetmayruleoutaneffectiveprogram.Ifweexpecttoreachourgoal,we’dbetteraskyourmanagementtolistentoourcase.

Thekindofwritingontheleftislong-windedandheavy-handed.ItiswhatE.B.Whitecalls“thelanguageofmutilation”—itmutilatesyourmeaning.Thelanguageontherightisclearanddirect.Itilluminatesyourmeaning.

6.Bespecific

Afatalweaknessinmuchbusinesswritingistheoveruseofgeneralities.Thewriterhassomethingspecificinmind,butdoesn’tactuallywriteit.Thereaderisleft to guess. Friendly readers may guess sympathetically, but a neutral orskepticalreaderwillremainuninformed,unimpressed,andunpersuaded.The first draft of a letter reporting to financial backers on a series of

educationalseminarsinWyomingsaid:

Our adult program was a great success. We attracted more studentsfrommoreplacesthaneverbefore.

The reader, not knowing whether the increase in students was one or a

hundred and lacking any other specific information,must take the generalizedclaimofsuccessonfaith.Whenrewritten,thelettersaid:

Our enrollment doubled to 560. Students came from Wyoming andtwenty-sevenotherstates,andfromGermanyandCanada.

Therecannowbenodoubtaboutthesuccessoftheprogram.Thespecifics

speakforthemselves.

7.Choosetherightword

Knowtheprecisemeaningofeverywordyouuse.Herearesomewordsthat

manypeopleconfuse:

Toaffectsomethingistohaveaninfluenceonit:Thenewprogramaffectsonlytheclericalstaff.

Effectcanmeanaresult(noun)ortobringabout(verb):Theeffectofthenewprogramonthemoraleofthedriverswillbezero;iteffectsnochangeoutsidetheclericalstaff.

It’sisthecontractionof“itis.”It’svitalthatprofitskeepgrowing.

Itsisthepossessiveformof“it.”Noapostrophe.Itsprofitsgrowyearafteryear.Abitofdoggerelmayhelp:“Sinmustprosperorit’sbored,whilevirtueisitsownreward.”

i.e.(idest)means“thatis”:He e.g.(exempligratia)means“forexample”:Hegaveallhisproducts

preferredshortnames;i.e.,nothinglongerthanfourletters.

shortnames;e.g.,Hit,Miss,Duck,Dive.

Principalisthefirstinrankorimportance:Ourprincipalproblemislackofcashflow.

Principleisaguidingrule:Ourprincipleistouseourownmoneyratherthantoborrow.

Implymeanstosuggestindirectly:Herreportimpliesthatshewillsoonpromoteherassistant.

Infermeanstodrawmeaningoutofsomething:Theassistantinfersfromherreportthathewillsoonbepromoted.

Mitigatemeanstolesseninforceorintensity:Shemitigatedthebadnewsbygivingeverybodytheafternoonoff.

Militatemeanstohaveforceasevidenceusuallyinacaseagainstsomething:Thebadnewsmilitatesagainstanearlyendtotheraisefreeze.

Gratuitousmeansunaskedfor,excessive:Hehaddonehisjobtoperfectionforyears.Theadvicefromthenewcomerwasgratuitous.

Grateful,gratitude.Youknowwhatthesewordsmean.Thepointhereisthattheyhavenoconnectionwithgratuitous.

Foreword.Somethingthatcomesfirst.Apreface.

Forward.Movingahead,asinforward,march!

Appraisemeanstomeasure,toassessthevalueornatureofsomething:Thegeneralappraisedtheenemy’sstrengthbeforeorderingtheattack.

Apprisemeanstoinformindetail:Thechiefofstaffapprisedthecolonelsofthegeneral’sappraisalofthesituation.

Fortunatemeansfavoredbygoodfortune—lucky.

Fortuitousmeanshappeningbychance,accidental.Beingseatednexttohisex-wifewasfortuitous—buthardlyfortunate.

Alternate(verb)meanstogobackandforthfromonetoanother:Thecoachalternatedbetweenpassingplansandrunningplans.Asnounoradjective,itcarriesthesamesense:MikeandJimarethecoach’salternates;theyplayonalternatesetsofdowns.

Alternativereferstoachoiceamongtwoormorepossibilities:Thecoachfacedthealternatives—goforthefirstdownandpossiblevictory,orpunttopreservethetie.

Definiteismostoftenusedtomeanpositive,absolutelycertain;Itisnowdefinitethatthefactorywillopenonschedule.

Definitivemeanscompleteandauthoritative,determiningonceandforall:Itwasthedefinitivedesignforasteelmill,amodelforallothers.

Indifferentmeansthatyoudon’tcarehowitcomesout:Thechairman,recognizingthetrivialityoftheproposal,wasindifferent.

Disinterestedisnotthesameas“uninterested.”Itmeansneutralandobjective:Amidthepassionsragingonbothsides,onlythechairman,recognizingtheimportanceofthedecision,managedtoremaindisinterested.

Fulsomemeansexcessivetothepointofinsincerity:Hisfulsomepraisewasatransparentattemptatflattery.

Full,abundantareinnowaysynonymouswithfulsome.Theycarrytheirownfamiliarmeanings.

Notablemeansworthyofnote:HisresearchonJacktheRipperisnotableforitsthoroughness.

Notoriousmeansfamousinanunsavoryway:JacktheRipperwasperhapsthemostnotoriouscriminalofthenineteenthcentury.

Intomustbehandledwithcaution.Theheadlinewriterwrote,murdersuspectsturnthemselvesintopolice—stunningasmagic,butnotwhathemeant.Whentheprepositionbelongstotheverb—“toturnin”—youcan’tuseinto.

Intoisnotsynonymouswithinto.Yougointothehouse,oryougointofindyourwallet.Youlookintothesubjectbeforeyouhandyourpaperintoyourboss.Therulesaretoocomplicatedtohelp.Bealerttothedifferenceanduseyourear.

Whenyouconfusewordslikethese,yourreadermayconcludethatyoudon’tknowanybetter.Illiteracydoesnotbreedrespect.

8.Makeitperfect

Notypos,nomisspellings,noerrorsinnumbersordates.Ifyourwritingis

slipshod inanyof theseways,howeverminor theymayseemtoyou,a readerwhospotsyourerrorsmayjustifiablyquestionhowmuchcareandthoughtyouhaveputintoit.Spelling is a special problem.Good spellers are an intolerant lot, and your

readercouldbeamongthem.Wheneveryouare indoubtabouthowaword isspelled, look it up in thedictionary. If you are an incurablybad speller,makesureyourdraftsgetcheckedbysomeonewhoisn’tthushandicapped.Computerspell checkers can help, but they have serious shortcomings (as demonstratedpoeticallyinChapter3).

9.Cometothepoint

Churchillcouldhavemumbledthat“thesituationinregardtoFranceisvery

serious.”Whathedidsaywas,“ThenewsfromFranceisbad.”Anexecutivemumbledinhisreport,“Capacityexpansiondrivenbythesales

growthencounteredengineeringissueswhichadverselyimpactedprofits.”Whathewas trying tosay is,“Profitsareoffbecauseengineeringproblemshurtourabilitytoincreaseproductionasfastassales.”Takethetimetoboildownwhatyouwanttosay,andexpressitconfidentlyin

simple, declarative sentences. Remember themanwho apologized forwritingsuchalongletter,explainingthathedidn’thavetimetowriteashortone.Thereareonly266wordsintheGettysburgAddress.Theshortestsentencein

theNewTestamentmaybethemostmoving:“Jesuswept.”

10.Writesimplyandnaturally—theway(wehope)youtalk

One officeworkermeets another in the hall. “Ben,” he says. “If you need

moremanuals, just ask for them.”His ten-wordmessage delivers his thoughtsimplyanddirectly.Anyonecanunderstand.Whatmoreistheretosay?Butletthesamemanwritethemessage,andhepadsitwithlotsofbigwords.

Here’sthewaythewrittenmessageactuallyappeared.

Should the supply ofmanuals sent you not be sufficient tomeet yourrequirements, application should be made to this office for additionalcopies.

Amessageneedingtenwordsandelevensyllablesisnowtwenty-fourwords

withthirty-ninesyllables,heavyreading,andsoundspompous.MostAmericansaretaughtthatthewrittenlanguageandthespokenlanguage

areentirelydifferent.Theylearntowriteinastiff,formalstyleandtosteerclearofanythingthatsoundsnaturalandcolloquial.

Stiff NaturalThereasonsarefourfold TherearefourreasonsImportantly TheimportantpointisVisitation Visit

Notice how often somebodywill say “It sounds just like her” in praise ofsomeparticularlyeffectivewriting.Whatyouwrite shouldsound just likeyoutalkingwhenyou’reatyourbest—whenyour ideas flowswiftlyand ingoodorder,whenyoursyntaxissmooth,yourvocabularyaccurate,andafterwardyouthinkthatyoucouldn’tpossiblyhaveputthingsanybetterthanyoudid.Afirststepinachievingthateffectistouseonlythosewordsandphrasesand

sentencesthatyoumightactuallysaytoyourreaderifyouwereface-to-face.Ifyouwouldn’t say it, if it doesn’t sound likeyou,whywrite it? (Somepeople,we’ve noted elsewhere, write the way they talk, but their talk has becomeimpenetrable.Theycansafelyignorethissection.)The tone of your writing will vary as your readers vary. You would speak

moreformallymeetingthePresidentoftheUnitedStatesforthefirsttimethantoyouruncleMax.Forthesamereason,alettertothePresidentwouldnaturallybemoreformalthanalettertoarelative.Butitshouldstillsoundlikeyou.

11.Strikeoutwordsyoudon’tneed

The song goes, “Softly, as in a morning sunrise” — and Ring Lardner

explainedthatthiswasasopposedtoalateafternoonoreveningsunrise.Poeticlicensemaybegrantedforasong,butnotforexpressionslikethoseonthenextpage.

Don’twrite WriteAdvanceplan PlanTakeaction ActEquallyas EquallyHoldameeting MeetStudyindepth StudyNewinnovations InnovationsConsensusofopinion Consensus

Atthispointintime NowUntilsuchtimeas UntilInthemajorityofinstances Inmostcases,usuallyOnalocalbasis LocallyBasicallyunawareof DidnotknowTheoverallplan TheplanIntheareaof RoughlyWithregardto AboutInviewof,onthebasisof BecauseIntheeventof IfForthepurposeof,inorderto ToDespitethefactthat AlthoughInasmuchas Since

12.UsecurrentstandardEnglish

Some years ago, a copywriter wrote this sentence in a draft of an

advertisementtopersuademorepeopletoreadtheNewYorkTimes.

Healwaysactedlikeheknewwhathewastalkingabout.

Musingovertheuseof“like”inplaceof“asthough”or“asif,”someoneattheTimessaid:“Yes,Iguessthatuseof‘like’willbecomestandardintenyearsortwenty,butIdon’tthinktheNewYorkTimesshouldpioneerinthesematters.”Thepioneershavemultipliedsincethisbookfirstcameout,butwe’dadvise

you on principle to be among the last to join them.Newusage offendsmanyears;establishedusageoffendsnobody.Hadthecopywriterwritten,“Healwaysacted as if he knew what he was talking about,” it would have seemed bothnaturalandliterate.

Theold rule is simple:Don’tuse“like” inanycasewhere“as if”or“asthough”wouldfitcomfortably.

Nothing will call your literacy into question so promptly as using “I” for

“me,”or“she”for“her.”Manypeople,thoughtheyhavedegreesfromreputable

colleges,make this illiteratemistake:“HeaskedbothHelenand I togo to theconvention.”Trythepronounalone.Youwouldneverwrite,“HeaskedItogototheconvention.”

13.Don’twritelikealawyerorabureaucrat

Lawyerssaythattheyhavetowritetoeachotherinlanguagelikethis.

BLANK Corporation, a corporation organized under the laws of theStateofNewSouthWales,wishestopermitholdersofitsOrdinaryShareswho are resident in or nationals of the United States, its territories orpossessions (“U.S.Holders”) toparticipate in theDividendReinvestmentPlan (the“DRP”)on essentially the same termsas thoseavailable to itsother shareholders (“Non-U.S. Holders”), and to provide the means bywhichholdersofADRs(asdefinedbelow)whoareresidentinornationalsoftheUnitedStates,itsterritoriesorpossessions(“U.S.HoldersofADRs”)mayindirectlyparticipate,throughtheDepository,intheDRP.Towardthisend, BLANK has adopted amendments to the DRP (as amended, the“Amended DRP”) (a copy of which is attached hereto) to permit suchparticipation.

Somewhat defensively, lawyers explain that such language is essential to

precision in contracts and such. Perhaps, but we suspect that the same ideascould be expressed more briefly, more clearly, and without any treacherousincreaseinambiguity:

BLANKCorporationwantstoofferholdersofitsOrdinaryShareswhoareU.S.citizensorresidentstheopportunitytoparticipateinitsDividendReinvestment Plan (DRP) on the same basis as non-U.S. holders. ThisincludesU.S.holdersofADRs(definedbelow)aswell.

BLANKhasamendedtheDRPtoenablethisparticipation,andacopyoftheamendedDRPisattached.

Whatever excuses lawyers may have, there are none for the business

counterpart of this sort of writing, known as “bureaucratese.” Among itssymptomsarelongsentences,abbreviations,clauseswithinclauses,andjargon.

Ifyoufindyourselfwritinglikethat,tryputtingdownwhatyouwanttosaythewayyouwould say it toyour readers ifyouwere talking to them face-to-face.Don’tworryiftheresultistoocasual.Onceyou’vegotthemainideadowninplainEnglish,you’llfinditeasytoadjustthetoneofvoicetotheappropriatelevelofformality.Agoodstart inbreakingoutofbureaucratese is tobanishfromyourwriting

unnecessary Latin. For example, “re,” meaning “in the matter of,” is nevernecessary outside the most formal legal documents. You don’t need it inheadingsortitlesanymorethantheBibleneeds“re:Genesis.”

14.Keepinmindwhatyourreaderdoesn’tknow

Yourreaderseldomknowsaheadoftimewhereyouaregoingorwhatyou

aretryingtosay.Neverexpectpeopletoreadyourmindaswellasyourletterorpaper.Takeintoaccounthowmuchyoucanassumeyourreaderknows—whatbackgroundinformation,whatfacts,whattechnicalterms.Watch your abbreviations. Will they be an indecipherable code to some

readers?Mighttheybeambiguouseventothoseintheknow?

K is code for a thousand in the United States, M means million inEngland.

9/12meansSeptember12here—December9overthere.

Ifyoumustuseabbreviations,definethemthefirsttimetheyappearinyourpaper. “The cost per thousand (CPM) is a figure thatwewill keep an eye onthroughoutthisproposal.”

15.Punctuatecarefully

Properpunctuationfunctionslikeroadsigns,helpingyourreadertonavigate

yoursentences.Aleft-outcomma,oracommainthewrongplace,canconfusereaders—orevenchangeyourmeaningaltogether.Hereisastatementthatmostwomenwilldisagreewith:

Womanwithouthermanhasnoreasonforliving.

Withacolonandacomma,thewriterwouldgetadifferentreaction:

Woman:withouther,manhasnoreasonforliving.

A common mistake in business writing is to use quotation marks foremphasis:This bolt provides “superior” tensile strength.When the head of alarge company put quotationmarks around aword in an important paper, hisadministrative assistant asked him why he did that. He replied that it was tostressthetruthofthepoint.TheassistantaskedwhetheritwouldstressthetruthifheweretoregisteratahotelasJohnDurginand“wife.”Mostdictionariesofferlucidhelponcommonproblemsofpunctuation,such

as the difference between a colon and a semicolon. You’ll find brisk, usefuladviceeitherinthefrontorthebackofthebook.

16.Understateratherthanoverstate

Neverexaggerate,unlessyoudosoovertly toachieveaneffect,andnot to

deceive. It ismorepersuasive tounderstate than tooverstate.Asingleobviousexaggerationinanotherwisecarefullywrittenargumentcanarousesuspicionofyourentirecase.Itcanbehardtoresistthetendencytostretchthefactstosupportastrongly

feltposition.Ortoserveuphalf-truthsascamouflageforbadnews.Ortotakerefuge in euphemisms. Whenever tempted, remind yourself that intelligentreadersdevelopanoseforallsuchdeceptivewritingandareseldomtakeninbyit.For the same reason, you should always round out numbers conservatively.

Don’tcall6.7“nearlyseven”—callit“oversixandahalf.”AnobituarywriterheldinhisfileanenvelopetobeopenedonlywhenH.L.

Menckendied.Themessage,fromthefamouswriterhimself:“Don’toverdoit.”

17.Writesothatyoucannotbemisunderstood

It is not enough to write sentences and paragraphs that your reader can

understand. Careful writers are ever alert to the many ways they might bemisunderstood.Astudentpaperbegan:

My mother has been heavily involved with every member of theCaliforniaStateLegislature.

Somereadersmighthavemisunderstoodthenatureoftheenergeticmother’s

civicinvolvement.Ambiguity often results from a single sentence carrying too much cargo.

Breakingupyoursentencescanworkwonders.HereisastatementfromareportbytheNuclearRegulatoryCommission:

It would be prudent to consider expeditiously the provision ofinstrumentationthatwouldprovideanunambiguousindicationoftheleveloffluidinthereactorvessel.

Ifyoubreakthatideaintotwosentences,andfollowothersuggestionsinthis

chapter,youmightendupwithsomethinglikethis:

We should make up our minds quickly about getting better gauges.Goodgaugeswouldtellusexactlyhowmuchfluidisinthereactorvessel.

18.UseplainEnglishevenontechnicalsubjects

Annuities rank among themost complex financial products; one survey of

investors found only 20 percent claimed a “good understanding” of them.Annuity documents were so impenetrable that the SEC moved to requireprospectusesbewrittenin“plainEnglish”tomakethemmoreunderstandabletoconsumers. Their strategy, reports The Wall Street Journal: LOSE THE BIGWORDS.AlawclerkassignedtorewritingavariableannuityprospectusatPrudential

Investments was given this direction: Write it as if you were sending it tosomeoneyouknow—say,yourgrandparents.Themoretechnicalthematerial,thelesslikelyyourreaderwillunderstandit

unless you put it into the language we all speak. An exception is when both

writerandreaderpracticethesametechnicalspecialty.AnadvertisingcampaignforNewYorkTelephonepointsupthedifference.Inoneoftheadvertisements,acompany’s telecommunications director talks technical language to othertelecommunicationsspecialists:

Given the strategic significance of our telecommunicationinfrastructure, our fault tolerance to local loop failure left a lot to bedesired.

Inthesamead,thecompany’schiefexecutive,talkingtotherestofus,uses

differentlanguagetomakethesamepoint:

Ifthenetworkgoesdown,thecompanygoesbellyup.What Business Week calls “technobabble” has aggravated just about

everybody one way or another. “Plain English,” says the magazine, “is alanguage unknown in most of the manuals that are supposed to help us useelectronicproducts.”Ifyou’rewritingtolayreadersonatechnicalsubject,testanearlydraftona

fewofthem.Findingoutwhat’sclearandwhatisn’tcanbevaluabletoyouinediting.Itcanmakethedifferencebetweensuccessandfailureingettingacrosswhatyouwantyourreadertoknow,tounderstand,ortodo.Mostmurkywritingisinadvertent,asincereifdoomedefforttocommunicate.

Farworseisthedeliberateattempttosaysomethingthatyouknowreaderswon’tlike in away that you hope theywon’t understand.Let’s call this the techno-euphemism.

Anursewho dropped a baby referred in her report to “the non-facilemanipulationofanewborn.”

TheuncomfortablewriterofanAirForcenewsrelease,reportingona test of anewmissile, said that“approximately70 seconds intothe launch an anomaly occurred causing the range safety office toinitiate thecommanddestructsequence.”Hidinginthereis thenewsthatsomethingwentwrongwiththemissileandtheyhadtoblowitup.

Badnewsisnotmadebetterbybeingbafflingaswellasunwelcome.WhenyouspititoutinplainEnglish,readersstillmaynotlikeit.Buttheirdispleasurewon’tbecompoundedbythesuspicionthatyou’retryingtosliponepastthem.

Consider thesurprisingbestsellingbusinessbookWhoMovedMyCheese?

—an allegory about change by Spencer Johnson. It’s a simple, almost corny,story about two smallmice and two small humanswho live in amazewheretheyfindcheese,andhowtheyrespondwhenonedaytheircheeseisn’twhereitusedtobe.Itsappeal,saysFortune, isbothitsmessage—prepareforchange,acceptit,enjoyit—anditstelling,insimplelanguage.Fortunecitesabookonstrategybyfourmanagementconsultants:

In the specialist model, a company competes across geography byleveraging specialization advantages and intangible scale effects (i.e.,leveragingthefixedcostsofbuildingintangibleassets).

It compares that sentencewith this one fromWhoMovedMyCheese?—

makingalmostthesamepoint.

Everydaythemiceandthelittlepeoplespenttimeinthemazelookingfortheirownspecialcheese.

We’reobviouslynotdoingjusticeeithertotheconsultants’textortheCheese

book, but the latter has really struck a chord in business circles. CEOs ofimportant companiesarebuyinganddistributing thousandsof copies.Why? Itmakes an important point — and does so in words that communicate. Theauthor, says Harvard Business School professor John Kotter, “has writtensomethingthatmightactuallyinfluencepeople.”Youmightcallthatwritingthatworks.

HOW’SYOURSTATUSONAMBULATION?

AndOtherThingsPeopleActuallySay

A doctor asked a patient on the phone, “How’s your status onambulation?” What he wanted to know was, “Can you walk wellenoughtocometotheoffice?”

Herearemoreexamples,heardwithourownears,ofpeopletalkingtheway pretentious writers write. (This is not what we mean when we say,“Writethewayyoutalk.”)Weatherforecasterswhosaytornadicactivityinsteadoftornadoes,snow

eventsinsteadofsnowstorms.Oninternationalflights,pilotsaskpassengerstoextinguishallsmokingmaterialsinsteadoftoputouttheircigarettes.Apilotwho said, “We’re only fiveminutes late; considering theweather, Ithinkthat’sexemplatory[sic]”insteadofprettygood.Here’sasamplingofwhatwehearinbusiness—overandover.

Resourceconstrained insteadofnotenoughpeople todo the job.Bake in the numbers instead of include. In the August timeframeinsteadofAugust.Taskedbytheorganizationinsteadofassigned.Theopticsoftheplan insteadofhowtheplanwill look.Double-click thepoint insteadofemphasize.Drilldown insteadofanalyze.Scope thisout insteadofcheck further.Onago-forwardbasis insteadof in thefuture. Operationalized its goal, instead of achieved. Aggressivelyrampheadcountinsteadofhiringalotofpeople.Orbandwidth— as in I don’t have the bandwidth (time) for that

meetingorHedoesn’thavethebandwidth(ability)forthejob.Or thismouthful (wedon’tmake theseup):The near-term cost of

staying in the business plus the opportunity cost of suboptimalresourceallocation,insteadofThecostofstayinginthebusinessplusthecostoftyingupmoneywemightbetterspendelsewhere.

This style of talk is generally heard among middle managers. It seldom

comes from the CEO, who, having risen to the top, is less interested in

impressingpeoplethaninclearcommunications—andgettingthingsdone.Some terms that jarred originally have come through relentless usage to be

accepted asmoreprecise than their substitutes.Delta fromforecast, insteadofchangefromwhatwepredicted;Whatarethemetrics? insteadofHowwillwemeasurethis?This isagrayarea.Justaskyourselfwhetheryou’rebeingclear—ortryingtoimpress.

3“ILoveMyComputer”

Theprocessofwritingandeditingonacomputer,especiallyforanyonewhostartedlifeona typewriter, issopleasurable that itelicits thekindofaffectionmanypeople feel for anewcaror someotherpreciouspossession. It’s so fastand effortless to change a word, add a point, delete a sentence, move aparagraph.Thepracticesweadvocateinthisbookturnouttobeeasy,evenfun.Eventhosefewstillattachedtotheirtypewritersmaysoonfindtheirclickety-

clack days coming to an end. Author TomWolfe told an interviewer that hisnovelAManinFullwouldbehislasttypewrittenwork,butnotbecausehehadfalleninlovewithacomputer.Hecouldn’tgethistypewriterfixedanymore.InhisexcellentbookOnWritingWell,WilliamZinsser calls thePC“God’s

gift,ortechnology’sgift,togoodwriting.”Butmarvelousasthesedevicesare,it’sworthkeepinginmindthattheyaremachinesandnotmagicians.Theywillnotmiraculouslychangeabadwriterintoagoodone.Theycanevenentrenchacoupleof theworst practicesof badwriters, bymaking it so easy to sendouthalf-bakedmaterial.Most computers have dazzling charms for the writer. There’s a good

thesaurus, under Tools. There are templates for memos, business letters —anything you write repeatedly — that preset font, paper size, margins, asestablishedbyyou.Thissavesalotoftime.Othertoolsallowyoutodoallsortsofusefulthingswithpagenumbers,footnotes,inserts,sectionheadings.Youcangetawordcountintwoseconds.In the restof this chapterwewill run through thewaysyoucanenlistyour

computerinyoureffortstowritewell.Andwe’llputupafewwarningsignstohelpyouavoidthehazardsthatcomputerscanthrowinfrontofyou.

HowtoUseYourComputerinWriting

Thereareasmanywaystowriteonacomputerastherearepersonalhabitsof

writing.Onewriter likes to goback and correct after every paragraphor two,another roars through an entire draft without pause. No two people will find

exactlythesamesetofpracticessuitablefortheirindividualturnsofmind.Yourownproclivitieswillsteeryoutowardwhat’sbestforyou.Longtimeusers,however,areinbroadagreementonthemeritsofanumberof

procedures.Amongthem:

1.Writefirst,formatlater

Formattingisnotwriting.Playingwiththedetailsoftheappearanceofyour

papercandistractyoufromgrapplingwithitscontent.Ontheotherhand,ifyoudon’twantyourdrafttobeashapelessjumble,it’sa

good idea towork fromanoutline—and to do just enough formatting at theoutsettomakeyourstructurevisible.The drafter of this chapter, for instance, formatted the headings and

subheadings—allfromhisoutline—ashetypedthefirstroughversion.Thiskepthisthoughtsinorderashewentalong.Butgoingcountertohisownadvice,healsofiddledwithindentsandputthenumbersandsubheadingsintoboldface.They looked nice on the screen but wasted time and interrupted his train ofthought.

2.PracticetheRuleofMoreThanOne

Withcomputers,youhavetobeparanoidaboutsavingyourfile.Neverhave

justonecopyofwhateveryou’reworkingon;makesurethereisasecondcopy—somewhere.Harddrivescancrash,floppydisksarenotforever.Theauthorssaveeverythingthatisimportantondisksandprinthardcopiesaswell.GettoknowtheAutoSavefeature(foundinTools/Options),andsetittosave

yourdocumentat leastevery15minutes.Powersurges, inputerrors,andotherobliteratorsofyourworkarefarfromtheoreticalhazards.We’realsogettingreligionaboutrunningweeklyviruschecks.Weletitgofor

afewmonthsrecently,anddiscoveredforty-fivevirusesonourcomputer—andmore than ahundredonour assistant’s.Companies that used to catch amajorviruseveryquarternowfindonealmosteveryday.Howoftenyoumakeahardcopyofyourroughdraftdependsonthelength

and importanceofwhatyou’rewriting—andonyourownworkingmethods.Themoreimportantthepaper,themorelikelyyou’llwanttocomparedraftsor

referbacktoearlierones.Whilesomeprogramsmakethatpossibledirectlyonyourcomputer screen,comparisonsareofteneasier to readand toconsideronside-by-sidehardcopies.Dateyourdrafts (using theInsertkey).Theauthorswouldhavebeen totally

confused on chapters of this book without dates on every draft. Never evercirculate anything more than two pages long without numbered pages. It’smaddeningly difficult to find a particular place in your document, or refersomeonetoit,unlessthepagesarenumbered.

3.Givethoughttoyourfilenames

Newerversionsofwordprocessingprogramshavemade it possible touse

descriptive titles (not limited to eight characters) for documents in your files.Theyalsomadeiteasytobecleverandgetcarriedaway.Asyourdiskfillsup,itgetsharderandhardertorememberthecutetitleyou

gave that letter.And a complicated hunt through everything on your diskwillhave you longing for the good old days of physically riffling through a filedrawer.Youshoulddevelopalogicalandeasy-to-remembersystemforyourfilenames.Professionalwritersthinkoftheirelectronicfileasagiantdrawerwithasmallnumberofmajorfolders,eachdividedintovarioussubfolders,andsoon.Forthecurrenteditionofthisbook,WTW3wastheprimaryfolder;e-chapter

andc-chapter twoof the subfolders fornewmaterialone-mail andcomputersrespectively. In choosing your file names, prefer logic and simplicity toingenuity.Yourfileshouldbeahandytool,notapuzzleoranamusement.

Cautions

“Thewordprocessorisanangelbutitcan’tgrantabsolution,”saysfreelance

writerDavidSwift.Becauseeditedworklookssoperfectonthescreen,it’seasytobedeludedintothinkingthatitreallyis.Proofread — and proofread again. Never send any document without

checking everything with your own eyes. It’s a good idea to do yourproofreadingonahardcopyratherthanonyourcomputerscreen.We’renotsurewhy,butwhenyoufaceapieceofpaperliketheoneyourreaderisgoingtosee,youbecomemorealerttoerrors.

Use the spell check program — with care. While it does a good job inhighlightingwordsitthinksaremisspelled,sometimesittriestobetoosmartandautomaticallycorrectswordswithoutasking.Thatcanbedangerous,asoneofusfoundinwritingthatSavillGardensoutsideLondonhadbeenintroducedtohimbyhisfriendStanleyPigott.Itwas“corrected”toservilegardensintroducedbyStanleypiglet.Computersareonlyhuman,oneexpertnoted.AcartoonshowedthisonaPCscreen.

Ihaveaspellingchecker,ItcamewithmyPC;ItplainlymarksfourmyrevueMistakesIcannotsea.I’verunthispoemthrewit,I’msureyoupleasedtoono,Itsletterperfectinit’sweigh,Mycheckertolledmesew.

Thegrammarcheckerisevenmorefallible.Sticktothepoint.InthecartoonstripShoe,acharactersittinginfrontofhis

PCrepliestoanonlookerwhohasaskedwhathe’swriting:“Nothingsofar.Butthe computermakeswriting a lot easier, I’ll say that.With just a flick of thefingerIcanwritereamsofnothing.Icallitstreamsofunconsciousness.”Resisting streamsof unconsciousnessmay call for a conscious effort.Good

writersheedtheiroutlinesandsticktothepoint.Sinceevenaloosefirstdraftcanlookcrispandfinishedonyourscreen,you

can foolyourself intomistaking it for a tautmasterpiece.The illusionmaybemagnified by the satisfying whirrings and clickings of your printer as itseemingly certifies thatwhat you’vewritten is all set for publication. Carefulwriterstrynottobefooledbyappearances.Be conservative in your choice of type fonts. Themost readable fonts (type

faces)are theonesusedmostoftenbywell-editedmagazinesandnewspapers.Choose fonts that resemble what you see in Time or Sports Illustrated, forexample.Foranythinglongerthanaparagraphortwo,ordinaryromanfacesaremorereadablethanitalics,andseriffaces(likethistext)aremorereadablethansansserif—likethis.Thisisn’tamatteroftasteoropinion.Ithasbeenprovedoverandoverincarefulstudiesofreadershiparoundtheworld.Whateverfontyouchoose,stickwithitthroughoutyourdocument.Youwill

not hurt the feelings of your computer if you don’t use all its fonts in everypaper.Andyouwillsaveyourreaders’eyes.

Keep your fingers off the boldface and underline keys. Boldface andunderlining are fine for headings but should be used only for occasionalemphasisintext.Thesamegoesforitalics.Whenyouemphasize toomanywords, the effect isnotwhat you intend. It

may even be the opposite — when everything is emphasized, nothing isemphasized.Andyourpagelooksmessy.When you do want to emphasize a word or phrase, italics will do it most

professionally. Well-edited magazines, newspapers, and books always preferitalicstoboldfaceorunderlines.Forget about justifying type on the rightmargin. Justified type on the right

looks good in books and magazines because the spacing between words ishandledwithalotofcare.Softwareprogramstendtodothejobcrudely,leavingartificially large spaces between words or else jamming the words too closetogether.Readers are accustomed to business paperswith ragged right-handmargins.

Theylookmorenatural,andareeasiertoreadthanpapersthathaveforcedbothmarginstolineup.Thenarrowerthemeasure,theworsetheresults.Enoughisenough.“Perfectionismisspelledp-a-r-a-l-y-s-i-s,”saidChurchill.

Insomehandsthecomputerillustrateshispoint.Somepeopleneverstopediting.Theyneverstopformatting.Thereisalwaysonemorechangetotry.Soourfinalword of caution is don’t be too cautious— let ‘er rip! The computer is yourliberator.Don’tbecomeitsslave.

HOWMUCHCOMPUTERDOYOUNEEDFORWRITING?

Whetherit’syourfirstcomputeroranupgrade,youneednotedaunted

bythehardwarenumbersorsoftwareoptions.Writersdon’trequirealotofelectronic horsepower. Any computer sold today by a reputablemanufacturer is more than powerful enough for word processing and e-mail.Majorbrandsallgiveyoumoreprocessing,diskspace,andmemorythanwritersknowwhattodowith.(Butgetaquietcomputerwithaquietfan.)Whichlaptopyouchoosehasimplicationsforwriting.Small,lightweight

models, with slightly reduced keyboards and smaller displays, are areasonable compromise if you go through a lot of airports. The slightlyheavier,full-featureportablesarebetterifyouwriteorreadlargeamountsoftext,oruseyourlaptopasadesktoporprimarycomputer.Afewbucksextraonthemonitorisawiseinvestment.Thelifespanofa

monitor is generally twice that of a desktop computer, and a desktop hastwice the life spanof a laptop.So it pays toget amonitor that’s easyonyour eyes. That means no smaller than seventeen inches, preferablynineteen inches if you have enough room on your desk or table. (Newgeneration LCDmonitors,which are clearer and flicker less than currentCRTmodels,permityoutouseascreenthat’sacoupleofinchessmaller.)MicrosoftWord, the leading word processing system, is excellent and

getting better all the time. Some experienced users have stoppedautomaticallyorderingeachupgrade thatcomesalongwithnewbellsandwhistles.Theyfindearlierversionsfamiliar,simpler,andadequatefortheirneeds.Printers have come a long way from the slow and noisy dot-matrix

printers of not long ago. Ink-jet print quality is good. Laser printers arefaster,withbetterprintquality—andmoreexpensive.The big news is faster access to e-mail and the Internet, thanks to

improved dial-up telephone modems. ISDN (Integrated Services DigitalNetwork)orDSL(DigitalSubscriberLines)offer Internetconnectionsupto twenty times faster than phone line connections, but at a price. Cablelines, connected throughanEthernet cable (built intomostnewPCs), are

evenfaster.Technology is moving so fast that more specific guidance would be

outdatedbythetimethisbookappears.Andit’snotwhatyouhave—it’swhatyoudowithitthatcounts.

4E-Mail—theGreatMailboxintheSky

TherewasSantaonthestageofNewYork’sRadioCityMusicHall,readingChristmaslettersandwithoutmakinganythingspecialofit,tellingthousandsofkidsandgrownupstheycanalsoreachhimatSanta.com.Andnobodyblinked.(Itwas equally in character for him to stay in touchwith the homeoffice viamobilefaxandcellphone.)We’vemovedfrombabyboomerstoGenerationXtogeneration.com.Whetheryoucounte-messagesinbillionsor trillions, they’rereplacinga lot

ofconventionalmail.E-maildoesthingsthatlettersorphonecallscannotdoaswellorcannotdoatall.Itiseasy,fast,simple—andcheap.It’sperfectforquickanswers,confirmingplans,andshortmessages.Itsavesmoneyonphonecalls,messengers,andairfreightbills.With e-mail, time zones go away.As does phone tag. If you domanage to

connect on the phone, you are likely to interruptwhatever the other person isdoing,evenifit’sjustthinking.Withe-mail,yousendatyourconvenience,thereceiverpicksupathisorhers.E-mailhelpsorganizationsstayconnectedandreactquickly.

All interoffice communications should flow over e-mail, preaches BillGates,“soworkerscanactonnewswithreflex-likespeed.”Hegoesontodirect thatmeetingsshouldnotbeused topresent information:“It’smoreeffectivetousee-mail.”

E-mailischangingrulesofwhereweliveandwork.Insteadofmovingtheir

families abroad, executives take up temporary residence in hotel rooms andbecome “virtual” expatriates with the aid of e-mail and cell phones. Ageneration.com — type cites the benefit of a permanent address: “Physicalresidenceforpeopleofmygenerationchangesconstantly,butmye-mailaddresswill staywithme forever so peoplewill always be able to communicatewithme.”Warning:E-mailcanbeaddictiveandcreateproblemsofitsown.Itsemphasis

on speed conflictswithmatters that deserve thought and reflection. There aretimes when nothing beats conversation to solve a problem, or when courtesy

calls for a nicely typed or handwritten letter. Newcomers on-line, giddy withtheir discovery, want to broadcast to everyone. Garrulous bores find a largeunwillingaudience.Peoplewithanaturaltendencytohidebarricadethemselvesbehindwallsofe-mail, sendingnotes topeople fourdesksaway.Morepeoplesendmoresuperfluous thoughts tomorepeople,creatingagrowingglut in thesystem.Busyexecutivestuneout,delete,orsimplydon’trespond.

Timeistheproblem

The problem isn’t so much writing e-mail as receiving it. But that in turn

presents awriting problem: how to get your e-mail read by busy people, andactedon.AseatmateontheplanefromNewYorktoDallas,aconsultant,reportednine

hundred unopened e-mails on his computer in the past ten months. It wasn’tlaziness—hereadandrespondedtoe-mailforthebetterpartoftheflight.Therewas just somuchof it that he had to be selective and ignore or delete all theobviousjunkorapparenttriviathatsurroundedtheimportantstuff.Mostexecutivesreceivefiftytoonehundredormoree-messagesaday;many

receive up to four hundred. Assume half are easy to filter out and dismiss.Respondingjusttotheimportanthalf,andinitiatingacoupleofdozenmessages,cantaketwotofourhoursaday.Everyday.Theflowneverstops.Planning timeoff for travel or vacation?Lots of luck! If youdon’t pickup

yourmessages, they pile up relentlessly,making your return to the office thatmuchharder.Themercilessflowforcesdelugedrecipientstostealfamilytimeorsacrificesleep,evenpulloutcomputersduringmeetingsinmomentswhentheirattentionisn’trequired.The time problem goes beyond e-mail. A Pitney Bowes survey shows the

average U.S. office worker sends or receives 201 messages a day fromtelephones, e-mail, voice mail, postal mail, interoffice mail, fax, Post-its,telephonemessage slips, pagers, cell phones,messenger services, and expressmail.Manyoftheseputexecutives“on”allthetime.Whatusedtobegetawaytime no longer exists. Says labor economist Alan B.Krueger: “It’s gotten farmoredifficulttomeasurewhereworkendsandleisurebegins.”Somecomprehensionofhow,inalltheseways,e-mailaddstothepressuresof

businesstoday,isthestartingpointinwritingitwell.

HowtoWriteEffectiveE-Mail

Businesse-mailcomesinseveralflavors.Alargepartconsistsoffast,terse

notes—generallytheshorterthebetter,aswewillcover.Inmanycases,e-mail

isreplacingthepapermemoorletter,butthatdoesn’tchangethefactorsthatgointoagoodmemoorletter.Thenthere’sapowerfulnewuseofe-mail—collaborativework,aproductof

theInternet/PCera.Thisusereducestheneedforcollaboratorstobeinthesameroom(orbuildingorcity)toworktogether.Itischaracterizedbyabriefmessagewithadocumentattachedforcomment,callingfortheprinciplesofbothgoode-notesandgoodbusinesswriting.Theauthorsof thisbookcollaboratedon thisneweditionusinge-mailbetweenNewYorkandChicago,tradingchaptersandthoughts.Alltheseformsofbusinesse-mailhaveacommongoal:tomovethingsalong

andnotwaste time.Andallpresent thewriterwith the sameproblem:how tomakesureyourmessagegetsread.

1.Makethesubjectheadingclear—andcompelling

Alle-maillooksexactlythesameinyourInBox.Therearenovisualclues

to what’s important and what isn’t — no airmail stamps, no fine-lookingstationery,no impressivelybulkyenvelopes,nofamiliarhandwriting.Theonlycluesaretheidentityofthesenderandthenatureofthesubject.Youcan’tdomuchaboutthefirst—arecipientiseitherinterestedinhearing

fromyouorisnot.Ithelps,forinstance,ifyou’retheboss.Theelementthatisunderyourcontrolishowyouidentifyyoursubjectinthe

heading,or title.Theauthors come from the advertisingbusiness, andmaybeprejudicedonthispoint.Butweknowthattheheadlineisthebestreadpartofanyad,theelementthatgetspeopletoreadon.It’sworthstudyingnewspapers,particularly The Wall Street Journal, to understand what kinds of headlinesconvertscannerstoreaders.You need a subject line that compels attention and gives a sense of what

follows. It can be formal or informal, serious or colorful, bland or newsy. Itcannotbeabsent.Thinkoftheconsultantontheplane.Whiche-mailwillhereadfirst—Status

of proposal orWinning client approval? We know he won’t open up e-mailwithoutanytitleatallunlessheknowsthesenderorhasreadeverythingelse.Busy executives filter their e-mail. Some use automatic filters that sort

incomingmessagesintoaprioritysystemorjustscantheindexofsendersandsubjects.TerriDial,who runsWellsFargo inCalifornia, deletes a thirdofhermessageswithout ever opening them (and, as a consequence, now paysmore

attention to her own subject lines so mail she sends gets read). She cautionsagainsttryingtogetpastthisfilteringbymarkingmessagesurgent.

Toomanysendersusetheurgentflagandnowit’sabitlikethelittleboywhocriedwolf,onlytherearelotsoflittleboys.EvenifyouuseURGENTselectively,othersdon’t.Andrememberthatifyoucrywolftoooften,otherswillnoteitandyoure-mailwillgetevenshortershrift.

It is especially important that e-mail messages sent to a group quickly

communicatethecontentsoeachrecipientcandetermineifitisrelevanttohimor her. It is annoying to find after three paragraphs that the content is of nointeresttoyou.Trytomakeclearatoncewhichreadersyourmessageisfor,e.g.,Scheduleforrocket-launchteam.Don’tautomaticallykeepoldtitlesonrepliesthathavenothingtodowiththe

original subject, or on correspondence that goesback and forth endlesslywiththesametitle,soitbecomesimpossibletodistinguishonenotefromanother.Ontheotherhand, ifyou’readding toamessagestring that isalready inprogressandwellestablished,don’tchangethetitle—evenifit’snolongerappropriate.If you’re sending several messages on unrelated topics, it’s often better to

sendseparatee-mails.It’snomorework,andeachmessagewillbealoteasiertofindandreferto.While you cannot inflate your importance to the recipient, you can at least

make clearwhoyou are.E-mail addresses that are all numbers or signal yourinterestsshouldshowyournameinthedisplayinsomeway.(Amongourfishingfriends, we quickly identify troutsmith@emailserver, but can never rememberwhogoesbydryflier@emailserver.)Peoplelearnquicklytodeletejunkmail.Ifanamedoesn’tringabell,outgoesthemessage.It’s oftenuseful to concludewith a signature that lists yourphone, fax, and

address.Title, too, if that helps.Many suggestions for this chapter came in e-mailsigned:

Regards,ScottCutlerVPAdvancedTechnology&ChiefTechnologyOfficerCompaqComputerCorporation,PCProductsGroup[telephone]

Most e-mail packages allow users to set up and automatically append

signatureslikethistooutgoingmessages.

2.Cuttothepoint

Wemeanthatliterally.Cut.Cutruthlessly.Not just to save the reader’s time, but to get to the essence. E-mail is a

differentmedium.ReadinglongmemosonaPCscreenisapain;anythingoveronescreenrisksnotbeingread(andisbettersentasanattachment).“Ihaveneverseenane-mailmessagetooshort—mosteffectivee-mailsare

short and very much to the point,” says Manny Fernandez, Chairman of theGartnerGroup.Trytotakeout50percentofwhatyou’vewritten.You’llbeamazedhowyour

pointsleapout.

SomeoneaskedRodinhowhecouldsculptanelephantoutofmarble.It’s easy, he responded, “You just chip away everything that isn’t anelephant.”Chipawayeverythingthatisn’tyourpoint.

“Keep it short and sweet” is the first e-mail principle at HBO. Their

executives are told thatpeoplewant fast answers to simplequestions.Make itbrief,butmakeitcomplete—“meaty,concise,andtothepoint,”asoneofourbestEnglishteachersdemanded.As for abbreviations, although there is awhole libraryof cleverones for e-

mail,wedon’trecommendthem.BeyondFYI,mostarenewslangnotfamiliartoenoughpeople.

3.Avoide-mailtag

Some e-mail canbe too short, in the sense that it doesn’t provide context.

Responding without attaching or referring to the original message makes thereadersearchthroughSentmessages(ifsaved)tomakesenseofthereply.

“I’mavailable,”forexample,shouldbe“I’mavailabletospeakatyourmeetingonthefourteenth.”

“Didyougetmymessageregardingthemeetingonthefourteenth?Canyoucome?”asopposedto“Didyougetmymessage?”

It’s forgetting to set context that causes so much e-mail tag. If the writersendsamessageandthereaderhastoaskforclarification,thee-mailpointsofcontacthavebeendoubled.Beclearabout thepurposeofyourmessage.Whatdoyouwantthereadertodo?Ifyouexpectaresponse,youmaywanttosetadeadlinesothattheresponse

isnotatthereader’sinclination,whichmaybenever.

4.Settherighttoneofvoice

E-mail is faceless and voiceless. The mood of the sender cannot be

communicatedbytheinflectionofavoiceasonthetelephone.E-messagesareadifferentanimal, subject tomisinterpretation.Briefcommentscancomeacrossasabrupt,tersequestionsasangry(“Where’sthememoon…?”).Some people use punctuation mark combinations, known as “smileys” or

“emoticons,”toconveytherighttone.Thesetaketimetoinsert,aremoreusedbyteensthanbusiness,andnotalwaysunderstood.Thesubjectheadingcanbeagoodplacetoestablishthetoneyouwant.

Help!Howdowereply?

Or,

Thanksabunch,everybody!Anotherplacetosuggesttoneisthesalutation.Sometraditionalistscan’tbring

themselves to abandon the time-honored Dear Jean. Others don’t bother withsalutationsatall.Butagreetingofsomesort,especiallyifyou’reoriginatingthecorrespondence,canhelpstart thingsontherightfoot.Forexample,HelloMr.Brown is informal and friendly yet professional, and somehow seems moreappropriateintheseelectronictimesthanDearMr.Brown.Withcolleaguesandeverydayassociates,asimpleHello,George,orHicansuffice.Or justuse thefirstname.Alotofe-mailendsabruptly—nosignatureofanykind.Itjuststops.Since

thesender is identifiedat thebeginning,goes the reasoning,whyrepeathisorher name at the end?But unless the tone of yourmessage is absolutely clear,closingwithThanksorBestwishesorCheersremovesanydoubtastoyourstateofmind.

Inthepast,peopletookthetimetothink,toconsiderwhattheywantedtosay,beforerespondingtoaletterormemo.Thepossibilityforinstantresponsetoe-mail— indeed the expectationof it inmany cases— increases thedanger ofgoingoffhalf-cocked.Composeyourself,thencomposeyourmessage.Ifyou’rewritinganangryor

irritable note, think twice before clicking Send. Seasoned e-mailers admit tosendinghotmessagesandregrettingtheyhadn’tsleptonthem.Old-stylememosandletters,whichhadtobetyped,thenreadandsigned,thenputintheOutbox,andthenmailed,gavesenderstimetocooloffandreconsider.Notsowithe-mail—oneclickandit’sasgoodasonyourrecipient’sscreen.Some people protect themselves by handling correspondence off-line,

downloading allmessages, both incoming and outgoing, before answering, sotheycanreadandcorrectbeforesending.Theyfindtheytendtobehastywhenthemodem is on and the Send button is at the ready. Sometimes it’s wise torespond,“Letmethinkaboutitovernight.I’llgetbacktoyouinthemorning.”In this way, the sender knows the e-mail has been received — and that theresponse,whenitarrives,willbeathoughtfulone.

E-MailEtiquette

It seems like an oxymoron to couple thisVictorian termwith aNewAge

electronic medium. Nonetheless, there are old-fashioned virtues like courtesyandneatnessthatremainrelevantinthismodernmedium.Ine-mail,onetranslationofcourtesyisLimitthenumberofcopies.Theonly

thingeasierthansendingane-messageisaddingpeopletothelistreceivingit.Copies are sent to far toomany people— for thewrong reasons. To impressthem. To cover yourself. To “interest” them. Don’t broadcast supposedly“interesting”material topeopleunlessyouknow their interests. It’s the e-mailequivalentofjunkmail.Ifyouwantaction, listonlyonenamein theTO:field.Withmore thanone

name,itisnotclearwhohastheresponsibilitytoactandbecomeslikelythatnoonewilltakeiton.ReplyAllmaybethemostdangerousbuttononthescreen.Counttotenbefore

youunleashthisplagueonyourvictims.Double-checktomakesureyourmessagegoesonlytothepeopleyouwantit

to go to. An evaluation of a partner in an accounting firm was inadvertentlycirculatedamongseveralthousandpeople.Whiletheevaluationwasn’tnegative,

itsbroadcastsurewasembarrassing.Thefollowinge-mailreallyhappened:

From:CharlieMix-upSent:Wednesday,May26,10:16A.M.To:L.A.PressListSubject:FW:PressSummary,5/26,andapologiesforthe2,000e-mails

Dearall,

Forthoseofyouwhoyesterdayreceived2,000e-mailsfromme,Iwant to sincerely apologize. I had a problem in the configuration ofmyoutlookanditforwardedbyruleallthemessagestotheL.A.presssummarylist.Ididnotmeantocauseyouanytrouble.Itwon’thappenagain.

Note: Do not reply to thismessage because it will go to all themembersofthelist.

Thanksandregards,

Charlie

Headed “E-Mail Fever,” the following message to his staff from JohnRiccitiello, CEO of Electronic Arts in Silicon Valley, provides a heartfeltsummaryofwaystokeepe-mailundercontrol:

From:Riccitiello,JohnSent:Friday,January21,20002:31P.M.To:eaworld@eahqSubject:E-mailfever

Inthepastfewweeks,manyEAfolkshaveexpressedtheirfrustrationoverthehugequantityofe-mailweatEAseemtosendeachother.Manyofusfeeloverwhelmed.

Iwould like tosuggestacouple“rules” thatmighthelpstem thetide.

1. Donotcopyunneededpersonsonyoure-mail.Sendnotesonlytothosethatneedtoreadit.

2. Avoidusing the“Reply toAll”button…unless there is really agoodreason.

3. Donot join in thee-mailcircusbyaddingyour thoughtsorshortideas to thesenever-endinge-mail threads that clogupour inboxes.Instead,whenyouseeamonstere-mail threadstarting,stoptheflowandcallarealface-to-facemeetingtoresolvetheissue.

4. Donotusee-mailwhenaquickwordoveracubewallwilldothetrick.

5. Avoid using broadcast e-mails unless absolutely required (yes, Iseetheironyinthis).

6. Trytofollowthisrule…unlesswhatyouaresending(a)impartsnewinformationtosomeonewhoneedsit,or(b)agreestoarequest,or(c)respondstoaquestionor(d)asksaquestionormakesarequest,donotsendanything.

Iknowmanyofusgettheshakesifwedonotsendane-maileveryfewminutes,buttakeadeepbreathandtrytogetoverit.We’llallbehappier.

John

Riccitiellosayshehastosendthisremindereverysixmonthsorso.Try not tomake people scroll through a page ormore of addressees before

gettingtothesubject;theytendnottobother.Onewaytohandlealonglististogive the group an alias name in theAddressBook—we used e-pals for thisbook.If you find yourself caught up in a series of copiedmessageswhich are of

onlyperipheral interest toyou,politelyasktheauthortotakeyouoff thecopylist.Whensomeonesendsabatchofquestionsthatwillrequiretoomuchtimetoanswerinwriting,askthesendertosetatelephonedateforyoutotacklethem.Sincemany executives are locked up inmeetings or traveling andmay not

check their e-mail every day, sometimes it’s wise to alert the recipient if themessageisurgent.Abriefvoicemailmessageworkshere;actualcontactisnotneeded.Thegeneralruleremains:e-mailorphone,butnotboth.Anotherprincipleofetiquette,neatness,translatesasmakingiteasytoread—

and iscovered in thechapterwith that title.However,oneaspectofmaking iteasytoreadappliesparticularlytoe-mail:howtohandleattachments.If the purpose of your message is to deliver an attachment, say so

immediately:“Hereisanattachment…”Andgoeasywiththeattachment.It’sirritating to receive presentations with wild colors for text and background;

they’rehardorimpossibletoread,andtakeforevertodownload.Whensendinglargeattachmentsormultiplefiles,yourreaderwillappreciate

itifyoucompressthefiles.(CheckyourPCmanualorHelpprogramtofigureout how.) Compression conveniently groups files together and shortensdownloadtime.This is especially relevant outside the United States. Remember that many

peoplearoundtheworldpayper-characterchargesandtelephonesurchargestoreceive your e-mail. And don’t assume that the recipient has a high-speedmodem, and easy access to theWorldWideWeb. If your e-mail contains anattached file or refers to a www address, your readermay not be able to getimportantinformation.If you ever receive attachmentswith e-mail, you should definitely install a

viruschecker.Onevirus,Melissa,onlycausedembarrassment—itsentalistofpornsitesfroma targetconsumer’se-mailaddressbook.Othervirusesdestroyfiles,wipeoutdataonaPC’sharddrive,andevenmakeitimpossibletostartupprograms.TheChernobylviruscausedcomputermeltdownsaround theworld.Handleattachmentswithcare—andbackupanythingimportant.

WhenNOTtoe-mail

Mostcircumstancesinwhichsnailmailispreferabletoe-mailareobvious:

legal matters requiring signatures, invitations to formal events, fund-raisingletters.Hereareacouplethatmaybelessobvious.

Ifyouhavetochangeorcancelameetingonshortnotice,aphonecallor faxworksbetter thane-mail.Don’tcountonpeoplecheckingtheirInboxtwohoursbeforetheevent.

E-mail is not usually the best way to introduce yourself tosomeone.Theexecutivecontactedisprobablyfloodedwithmessagesand is not likely to open or read yours. It’s easier to ignore or hitDeletethantosaynothanksinperson.

Nothingisprivate

Whenyousealaletter,placeastamponit,andmailit, itdoesnotbecome

the property of the U.S. Postal Service. Your office e-mail, however, is thepropertyof the company that pays for the e-mail system.Companieshave theright to search their companymailboxes, andmanydo.Everybodyusesofficesystemsforpersonalmessages.Justremember,itisn’tprivate.Somepeopledescribee-mailasahigh-techwatercooler,aplaceforoff-color

jokes, gossip, gripes about management. But at the watercooler, you have apretty good idea of who’s within listening range. Monica Lewinsky’secomments,usedinClinton’simpeachmenttrial,ledFortune tocomment,“It’sbestnottoE-mailanythingyoudon’twanttoreadonthefrontpageofTheNewYorkTimes.”Short of that, a good general principle is, never put anything personally

negativeine-mail.Giventhelitigatingworldinwhichwelive,itisn’tsmarttosendpotentially

distastefulmaterialtocolleaguesonacorporatenetwork.Peoplehavelosttheirjobs for sending jokes that they believed to be harmless but which offendedsomeonewhothencomplained.E-mailrecordsofexchangesthatmayhaveseemedinnocentatthetimehave

beencreditedastheU.S.JusticeDepartment’s“favoriteweapon”initsantitrustcaseagainstMicrosoft.Theyareoftenaplaintiff lawyer’sdreamcometrue. Ifyou’reonacorporatenetwork,backupcopiesofyoure-messagesarearchived.Lawyers go after system backup tapes to recover and subpoena supposedlydeleteddocuments,andasystemadministratorcanaccessanythingthatremainsonyourcomputer’sharddrive.Therulewithpaperfilesusedtobe,“Ifindoubt,tossitout.”Notsoeasywith

electronic files, whereDelete doesn’t delete. All it does is move material toanother folder, likeRecycle.Youcandelete again, but all that does is removepointerstothemessage.Themessageitselfstillexistsandcanbefound,unlessyougoanotherstepandshreditbyscramblingthecodes.Inanycase,arecordremains on another computer somewhere. Your odds of keeping somethingprivatearebetterifthereisnowrittenfile.

TheInternetischanginglanguage.Ithaspropelledthepreviouslydeliberatepaceoflanguageevolutiontohigherspeeds.ThatwasthegeneralagreementatameetingoftheModernLanguageAssociation.“Ahotbedforchange,”saidonelinguisticsprofessor.Thisisanewmediumandanopportunitytobecreative—andaninvitation

to abuse. The Reagan-Bush White House created two hundred thousandelectronic files; theClintonoffice iscreatingsixmillion filesayear.E-mail isbecomingmore ubiquitouswithwireless transmission and access frommobilephonesandhandheldcomputers.Beyondmillionsofnewuserscomingon-line,e-mail voice recognition has arrived—with the terrifying prospect of peopledictatingstream-of-consciousnesse-mails.With such developments, the fight to stand out in the clutter can only

intensify.It’sunlikelythatanyonewillawardyoupointsforgoodewriting.Butifyougeta reputation forbeing long-winded, fuzzy,orwastingpeople’s time,yourmessageswill tend to be glossed over, ignored, or deletedwithout beingread.

VOICEMAILANDE-MAIL

Businessincreasinglymovesinaninterconnectedworldofe-mail,cell

phones, and voicemail.Voicemail canwork together effectivelywith e-mail—tosayanimportante-mailiscoming(“Watchforit”),tosummarizeitsmajorpoints,tocatchpeoplewhodon’tkeepupwiththeire-maileveryday.Youcan’tattachadocumenttovoicemailorprovidethesamedetailas

ine-mail.E-mailisfrequentlytheonlywrittenrecordofagreements.Manyexecutives listen tovoicemail inacaroronacellphone, andcan’t takenotes.Voicemailisoftenabused,withmessagesthataretoolongandrepetitive

yet not complete. Names and phone numbers are either not given or notclear.Theobligationtokeepitshortandsweetisevengreaterthanwithe-mail. You have a captive audience, unable to skip ahead, waitingimpatientlyfor“thepoint.”Before you pick up the phone, assume it’s likely the person you’re

callingwill beout of theofficeor in ameeting, andyou’ll be intovoicemail.Prepareyourselfbythinkingaboutwhatyouwanttosay.

Makeitconciseandtothepoint.Nopleasantriesnecessary.Jot down a few bullet points that will make your message

short and clear. (If it must be long, announce this — and thereason—atthestart.)

Stateyournameandnumberclearlyandslowly,especiallythenumber.(Thisisthemostviolatedprinciple,anditsviolationthemost irritating, especially from people who want somethingdone.)

Thenhangup.

5MemosandLettersThatGetThingsDone

“Wedon’twritememostoeachother!”isadeclarationoneoftenhearsthesedays, as e-mail, phone calls, and meetings handle more and more businesscommunication.Ontheotherhand,wehaveyettoseeanofficewithoutaprinteroranexecutivewithoutpencilandpadofpaper.The written word remains the best way to communicate in a variety of

circumstances.Unlikeaphonecall,onecanrefertoamemooraletteroverandover.Unlikevoicemail,youcanscanamemoforthepoints important toyou.Youcanstudyit,ponderit,passitontootherpeople,orpullitupandprintitouttorefreshyourmemorydaysoryearslater.Unlikepresentationdecks,withtheirtelegraphic and abbreviated points,memos and letters spell things outwithoutrelyingonaspokenexplanation.Asthewriter,youcanexpressyourthoughtsprecisely,witheverynuancejust

so.Asthereader,youcanconsiderawrittenmatterwhenandwhereyouchooseandforaslongatimeasyouwish.Goodmemosandletterscansolveproblems,clarifyissues,straightenoutmisunderstandings,raisequestionsoranswerthem,spreadtheword,complain,mollify,cheerup,andpraise.Here are someways to assure that yourmemos and letters succeed in their

missions.

HowtoWriteaMemo

Memosareletterstopeoplewithinyourorganization,ortopeopleoutsideit

with whom you work closely. You are writing to colleagues; write in aconversational style. But an informal tone of voice is no excuse for sloppythinkingorcarelessexpression.Aconfusingorambiguousmemoslows thingsdownormessesthemup.Whethersentbye-mailoronpaper,goodmemosfollowsimilarformats.

1.Putatitleoneverymemo

Ine-mailmemosyour title is inyourheading.Onpaper, it’sbest tocenter

your title in capital letters over yourmessage. It’s easier for someone to spotthere, thumbing through files or briefcase, than tucked off to the left as “Re:SomethingorOther,”alongwiththelistofaddressees.Yourtitleshouldneverbetrickyorobscure.Itshouldidentify—swiftly,and

forallreaders—whatyourmemoisabout.AmemoproposinganoverdueraiseforTonyAndrinoshouldnotbetitledLONGOVERDUE.BetterwouldbeRAISEFORTONYANDRINO.Ifyouarerespondingtosomebodyelse’smemo,saysoinyourtitle:

FRANKOWEN’SMEMOONHOGPRICES

GENDER-BLINDADMISSIONS:YOURMAY3IDEAS

Inmemosonpaper,don’tworryaboutthelengthofyourtitle.Sayenoughto

identifyyoursubjectclearly:

RATIONALEFORGLOBALCORPORATEADVERTISINGCAMPAIGN

Clear,simpletitlesattract theattentionofinterestedparties,andfocustheirthoughtsonyoursubjectfromtheinstanttheystarttoread.

2.Addressmemosonlytothepersonwhomusttakeaction

Sendcopiestothepeopleyoumerelywanttokeepinformed.

From:BillDurwinTo:MargaretBaker

copies:CindyLeeSamNasikawaBobNieman

This says thatBillwantsMargaret todo something, and the others just to

knowwhat’sgoingon.Ifseveralpeoplemustdosomething,addressthememotoallofthemandmakeclearwhateachmustdo.We prefer the full word “copies” to “cc,” an anachronistic abbreviation for

“carboncopies.”Andasanaside,wedeploretheuseof“blind”copies—copiessent behind thebackof the addressee.Asone executiveputs it, “You can tellhowpoliticalapersonisbythenumberofblindcopieshesendsout.”Listnamesofthosereceivingcopiesalphabetically.Ifyoulisttheminorderof

importance,youoftenrunintocomplications.Istheheadofmanufacturingmoreimportant than the head of research? Who comes first among four assistantdeans?Such problems evaporate if you putall names in alphabetical order, except

whenthatwouldbeludicrous.Itwouldbeludicrous,forexample,inamemototheHumanResourcesdirectorwithcopiestotwoassistantsandthepresident,tolist thepresident alphabetically among the assistants.Put thepresident’s namefirst;listtheothersalphabetically.

3.Makeyourstructureobvious

Beforeyoustart towrite,decideonstructure. Itwilldependon the length,

complexity,andnatureofyoursubject.Anymemolonger thanhalfapage(orscreen) requires a structure— and the structure should be apparent to yourreader.Otherwiseyourmemowillseemtoramble.Yourreaderwillhaveahardtimerememberingyourpointsandhowtheyhangtogether.Ifwhatyouwant tosayfalls intoconventionaloutlineform—for instance,

threemainpoints,eachsupportedbyseveralexamples,withacommentortwooneachexample—youroutlinewillserveasyourstructure.Aclearstructurehelps your reader to remember your points. It alsomakes yourmemo easy toreferto.Some memos are actually complex reports or recommendations, running a

half-dozen pages or more. In any suchmemo, start by outlining what you’regoingtocover.

Here’swhatisinthepackage:

4-pagekickoffadfortheWSJandFT2-pagefollow-upads2TVcommercials

MediaPlan,includingroleofInternetAgencyPOVonwhatadvertisingwillaccomplish

Recommendation:

Recommend that we commit $10M (media and production) tolaunchthecampaigninmid-September.

NeedtocommittothemediaandbeginproductionoftelevisionbyJuly26inordertomakemid-Septemberlaunch.

Doyouagree?

Please let us know your comments and approval to proceed byMondayJuly26.

Orwriteabriefcoveringmemoandattachyourreportorplanasaseparate

document.Thisworkswellformajorpapers.Oneusefulstructureisoftenoverlooked:asimpleseriesofnumberedpoints.

Ithasmanyadvantages.

1. It suits your purpose exactlywhen youwish tomake several looselyrelatedobservationsonasinglesubject.

2. Iteliminatestheneedtowriteconnectives.Whenyou’refinishedwithonepoint,youplungedirectlyintothenext.

3. Itorganizesyourthoughtsvisuallyforyourreader.4. Yournumberedsectionscanbeaslongorshortasyouwish.Somecan

beasinglesentence,otherstwoormoreparagraphs.Allthatmattersisthateachnumbershouldindicatethestartofanewanddistinctthought.

5. Numbersmakeyourmemoeasytoreferto.

4.Endwithacalltoaction

Saywhat you expect to happen as a result of yourmemo—exactlywhat

mustnowbedone,bywhom,andbywhen.Bespecific.

We need to move on the new products organization. I need yourthoughtsoncandidatesbyendofbusinessonFriday.

We need a new strategy for increasing attendance at the benefitbeforewesendtheinvitationout.

If your memo replies to questions raised by somebody else, simply stop

whenyou’refinished.Don’twasteyourreader’s timewithsuchhomiliesas“Ihope thisanswersyourquestions.”Since itgoeswithout saying thatyouhopeyou’veansweredthem,gowithoutsayingit.If yourmemo is a report, drawconclusions fromwhatyou saworheardor

foundout.Specifyhowcertainyou feel aboutyourconclusions.Somewillbebeyondquestion,otherspurelyspeculative.Tellyourreaderwhicharewhich.

5.Sendhandwrittennotes

Briefmemoswrittenbyhandsavetimeandbytheirnaturearemorepersonal

anddirect.Praiseandappreciationcanbeespeciallyeffectiveinhandwriting:

George:That’ssensationalnewsaboutAcme.Getsomerestnow—youdeserve

it!

Susan:YOURREPORT IS SUPERB. I’LL REACT TO YOURRECOMMENDATIONSAS SOONAS I

GETBACKFROMFARGO.

Since handwriting is personal, make sure whatever you write soundspersonal.

6.Becarefulwithhumor—oranger

Don’ttrytobefunnyinmemosunlessyouarepositivethatallyourreaders

willgetthejoke.Thatincludespeoplewhomaynotbeonyourlistbutmightseea copyofyourmemo.Avoid ironyor sarcasm.Somebodywill take it straightandgetupset.Peoplecanbroodfordaysoveraninnocentlyintendedwitticism.Asforanger,whenyougetangryinperson,youleavenothingbehindother

than the memory of your behavior. When you put it in writing, you leave apermanent record. Youmay be sorry about that, after you cool down. Angry

memosdo have their place.Agood rule is towrite itwhen you’re angry, butdon’tsend ituntilthenextday,whenyouhavecooledoffenoughtoreflectonthe consequences. This is particularly important with e-mail, which is all tooreadytoindulgeyourspur-of-the-momentfury.Shoulditbeamemoatall?EvenProcter&Gamble,whichset thepacefor

themodernbusinessmemo,isreportedtobedeemphasizingittomeetthepaceof the Internet age. An Italian proverb says: “Think much, speak little, writeless.” Sometimes themost efficient delivery of amessage is still face-to-face.Justdropbytheotherperson’soffice.

HowtoWriteaBusinessLetter

Therearetimeswhenonlyaletterwillserveyourpurpose.Aformalletteron

acompanyletterheadcarriesanauraofimportancethate-mailcan’tmatchandphone calls don’t approach. Legal and financialmatters call for precision anddetail in a form that can be easily referred to. There is no substitute for ahandwrittennoteofthanks,congratulations,orsympathy.Receivingandopeninga first-class letter still is a pleasing ritual for some people. Here are ways tomakesureyouneverletdownanyreaderthuspreparedforyourmessage.

1.Getthenameandaddressright

Amisspellednamegetsyouoffonthewrongfoot.Itsuggeststothereader

thatyoudon’tcare,thatyou’reasloppyperson.Checkallnames,nomatterhowmuch trouble it takes — on the envelope and in the letter, the names ofindividualsandoffirmsandorganizations.UseMr.orMs.—manypeopleappreciatea touchofformalityandnobody

resents it.But leave it out rather thanget itwrongwhenyouaren’t surewhatgender you’rewriting to and can’t find out.Mickey, Terry,Gerry, Sandy, andmanyothernamescomeonbothgirlsandboys.Checkeverydetail.Mailaddressedincorrectlyseemsslipshodatbest,andat

worst doesn’t arrive.Always put a return address on the envelope.The stampmightfalloff,orGodknowswhat.

2.Thinkcarefullyaboutthesalutation

“Dear—–“isaconventionwe’restuckwith,onpaperifnotine-mail,inany

sortofformalcommunication.Oddandantiquatedthoughitmaysound,effortsto avoid it seem artificial, self-conscious, and downright rude. We like theBritish custom of “tip and tail” — writing in the salutation as well as thesignature by hand on a printed or typed letter. In less formal letters, ahandwrittenPeterorHiPeterseemstoworkfine.Whatcomesafter“Dear”isworthsomethought.Usefirstnamesonlywhen

you’re already on a first-name basis. Don’t become anybody’s pen pal byunilateralaction.Usetitles—Dr.,Judge,Professor,Senator—whentheyapply.Anexcellentbutlittle-usedalternativeistoincludebothfirstandlastnames:

“Dear Joan Larson.” It is less formal than “Dear Ms. Larson,” but doesn’tpresume personal acquaintance, as “Dear Joan” does. It’s an attractiveway toaddresssomebodyyouhavemetbutwhomaynotrememberyou.Orsomebodyimportant and senior to youwhom you know only slightly. Or the otherwayaround. Oscar Hammerstein II, the great songwriter, wrote “Dear JoelRaphaelson”inalettertoRaphaelson,thenincollege,aboutareviewofSouthPacific in the college newspaper, and it seemed entirely appropriate, bothcourteousandcordial.

3.Considerbeginningwithatitle

Manybusinesslettersarepartsofalong-termcorrespondencebetweenseller

andcustomer,attorneyandclient,privatefirmandgovernmentbureau.Insuchcases,it’sagoodideatofollowthesalutationwithatitle.

DearGeorge:

ACMELEGALACTION:SECONDPHASE

A title identifies the subjectat aglanceand isablessing foranybodywhoeverhastodigoutpreviouscorrespondenceonit.Considerusingatitleevenonone-time-onlyletterstostrangers.Nothingelsesoquicklyidentifiesthesubjectofyourletter:

DearAmericanExpress:

LOSTCREDITCARD—ACCOUNT#3729—051721

4.Makeyourfirstsentenceworkhard

Since titles on letters aren’t standard practice, theymay strike you as too

abrupt or too impersonal formany situations. Then your first sentence has toperformthefunctionofatitle.Yourreaderwantstoknowatoncewhattheletterisabout.

Bill Smith brought to our attention your concern about Jane Jones’sconversationswiththeXYZbank.

Thereisnoneedforthewrittenequivalentofsmalltalk.Themostcourteous

thingyou cando is spare your reader the trouble of puzzlingoutwhat you’regettingat.

Annoyingsmalltalk

DearClassmate,

Asyouknow,wehadawonderful fifteenthreunion lastJune.Wecanallbeproudoftheclassgiftwepresentedatthattime.Nowwearewellintothefirstyearoftheend-of-the-centurycampaign.

Gratifyingdirectness

DearClassmate,

It’stimetopulltogetheroursixteenthannualgifttotheuniversity.You’llrememberwegaveawhopperatourfifteenthreunion—buttheneedgoeson.

What about letters responding to inquiries or on a subject introduced inpreviouscorrespondence?Canyoupresumethatthereaderwillknowwhatyourletterisabout,havingbroughtupthesubjecthimselfinanearlierletter?Yes — up to a point. On the next page are two answers to a request for

information.

Toowindy TooabruptDearMr.Allen: DearMr.Allen:

IamwritinginresponsetoyourletterofJune24,inwhichyouexpressaninterestintheliteraturedescribingourlineofherbicides,withparticularreferencetothecontrolofdandelionsinresidentiallawns.Unfortunately,wearealloutofourpamphletsonthissubject,butperhapsthefollowinginformationwillbeofassistance.

I’msorrythatwe’reoutoftheliteratureyouaskedfor.Here’ssomeinformationthatmayincludewhatyouneed.

The letter on the right presumes too much. If Mr. Allen, who may writedozensoflettersdaily,doesn’thappentorememberexactlywhathewroteabouttothisparticularfirm,daysorweeksago,thefirsttwosentencesdon’thelphim.Heneeds a speedy reminderofhis inquiry—moredirect than the first letter,lessabruptthanthesecond.

DearMr.Allen:

We’ve run out of our literature on controlling dandelions. I’msorry,andI’llsenditassoonasafreshsupplygetshere.Meanwhile,maybethisinformationwillhelp.

The short first sentence remindsMr.Allenof the subject and tellshim the

chiefthingheneedstoknow.Alwaysidentifyyoursubjectinyourfirstsentence.

5.Stopwhenyou’rethrough

Just as some letters take their time towind up and get going,many slow

downtediouslybeforestopping.Avoidplatitudeslikethese:

Pleasecallifyouhaveanyquestions.

Ihopethisanswersyourconcern.

Pleasegivethismatteryourcarefulconsideration.

Unlessyouhavesomethingtosaythatismorethanaformality,simplystop.Ifyourlastsentencesayswhatyourreaderwouldassumeordoanyway,asinthe

examples above, leave it out. Such stuff doesn’t sound sincere or friendly. Itsounds likewhat it is— routine formality.Your endingwon’t seem abrupt ifyourtonethroughouttheletterhasbeenwarmandpersonal.Ifyouwanttoaddapersonaltouch,makesurethatwhatyousayispersonal,

andsomethingyoumean.

I’vebeenreadingaboutyourheatwaveandwonderhowyou’regettingalong.

George,customerslikeyoumakethisbusinessworthwhile.

6.Bespecificaboutnextsteps

If youwant your letter to lead to action, your last paragraph shouldmake

clear what you would like that action to be. Or, if you’re taking the actionyourself,whatyou’regoingtodo:Vague SpecificWe’rehopingtohearfromyousoon.

PleaseletusknowyourdecisionbyAugust1sothatwecanmeetyourdeadline.

I’mlookingforwardtogettingtogetherwithyoutotalkmore.

AreyoufreeforlunchonFriday,July17?I’llcallthatmorningtoconfirm.

7.Useanappropriatesign-off

Gene Shalit, theToday showmovie critic, signs his letters “Thine.” It’s a

personal trademark, like his bushy hairstyle. In general, though, your sign-offisn’t the place to assert individuality. Keep it conventional and appropriate toyourtone.“Yourstruly”benefitsfromalackofanyspecificsillymeaning.Itisasrooted

inconventionas“DearGeorge,”andusefulforthatreason.“Sincerely”and“Sincerelyyours”areallrightifyoudon’tmindproclaiming

somethingyourreadershouldtakeforgranted.Somanypeoplehavelatchedonto“Cordially”thatwehavebecomenumbto

itsmindlessassertionofheartyfriendship.Justdon’tuseitonnoncordialletters:“We’veturnedyourcaseovertoourattorneys.Cordially…”“Regards,” “Bestwishes,” “All the best” aremore personal than the others

andlessformal,butnotappropriateifyoudon’tknowyourreader.Andthereisn’tanythingwrongwithsimplysigningyournameafteryourlast

sentence.

HowtoHandleSomeCommonKindsofLetters

Lettersthataskforsomething

Saywhatyouwant, rightaway.Don’tstartbyexplainingwhyyouwant it.

Your readerwon’tbe interested inyour reasonsbeforeyourevealwhatyou’reaskingfor.

DearMr.Sullivan:

Weareanewelectronicsfirmandweneedtosetupadepartmenttodosomebasicresearch.

Accordinglyitoccurredtoourpresident,Mr.GeneSchultz,thatitwouldbeagoodideaifwefoundouthowsomegiantresearchdepartmentssuchastheBellLaboratorieswereorganizedintheearlydays.

OurproblemOurthinkingStillhasn’tsaidwhatwewant

Don’tstartbyexpressingyourappreciation.

DearMr.Sullivan:

IwouldgreatlyappreciateyourhelponamatterinwhichtheBellLaboratoriesmaybeuniquelywellinformed.

Writethatletterlikethis:

DearMr.Sullivan:

Do you have any literature that spells out how the BellLaboratoriesorganizedinitsformativedays?Ifso,wouldyousendittomeandbillme?Sayswhatwewant,andthatwe’llpay

We’re a small Internet firm selling office equipment, and your earlyexperiencemighthelpusfigureoutthebestwaytogetgoing.Yourhelpwouldbeinvaluabletous.

Explainswhy

Thanks!

That’s thecorrectorder for lettersof inquiry; first,whatyouwant;second,whoyouareandwhyyouwantit;third,anexpressionofappreciationforfavorsto come. If you’re asking for routine information — a copy of a publishedspeech, records on your bank account, a price list — you can leave out thereasonyouwantitandshortenyourthanks.

Howtosayno

No,wedon’thaveajobforyou.No,wewon’tgiveyoumorecredit.No,we

don’tagreethatitwasourfaultandthatweoweyouarefund.No,wecan’tgetyourordertoyouintimeforChristmas.Alas,wecan’tpublishyourstory.Sorry,weregretwecan’tcontributetoyourcharity.Turningsomebodydowninwritingmayseemeasierthandoingitinperson,

butinsomewaysit’salotharder.Itislesspersonalandmorepermanent.Readerscan’tseetheexpressiononyourface.Norcantheyhearthetoneof

yourvoice.Norcantheyaskquestionsonthespotaboutthingsthatpuzzlethemorthattheytakeissuewith.Yourletterhastocompensateforthosedisadvantages:

Itmustbeasclearasyouwouldbeinperson.Itmustbeastactfulandunderstandingasyouwouldbeinperson.Pay

closeattentiontoyourtone.Youmustanticipateyourreader’squestionsandobjectionsanddoyour

besttoanswerthem.

Puteverythinginyourlettertothistest:Wouldyousayitandwouldyousayitinthatway,ifyouwereface-to-facewithyourreader?“Weregrettoinformyouthat…”isthestandardopeningofmillionsof“no”

letters. It ishard to imagineanybodyeversaying,“I regret to informyou that.…”You’dsay“Iknowhowdisappointedyou’regoingtobe,buttherejustisn’tanyway I cando that”or “No, Idon’t think thatwillbepossible—buthowaboutthisasanalternative?”Let’s say you’re themanager of a store that sells refrigerators. After using

yourtop-of-the-linemodelforalmostthreeyears,acustomerhasreportedthatitconkedoutonahotweekendwhenhewasaway,andthathereturnedtofindallhisfoodspoiled.Hewantsyoutoreplacetherefrigeratorwithanewone,free,andtocharge

nothing for the service call that put his refrigerator back into commission—onlytemporarily,hefears.Hereishowsomepeoplewouldrespond:

DearMr.Traggert:

I regret to inform you that we are unable to accommodate yourrequestforanewrefrigerator.Ourrepairmanreportsthatthetroublewasminorandisunlikelytorecur.

At the timeofpurchase,youwereoffereda three-yearservicecontract.Had you accepted it, our service call would have cost you nothingadditional.But since you did not accept it, we are required to charge you for the

service.AninstitutionalthumbsdownWhatadopeyouwere!OurhandsaretiedBoy,dowesoundsincere

I sincerely regret any inconvenience this episodemayhave caused youandhope that youwill now getmany years of satisfactory service out ofyourModel6034-Y.Yourstruly,

A turndown like this,with its chill, corporate tone, is allbutguaranteed to

loseacustomerforyourstore.Ifyouwere tohearMr.Traggert’s storyatadinnerparty,youwouldn’t say

“That episode may have been inconvenient for you.” You would respondspontaneouslywithsomethinglike“That’sawful—whatawaytocomehomefromaweekend!”Whynotstartyourletterinthesamehumanway?

DearMr.Traggert:

Howterribleforyoutocomehomefromaweekendandfindallthefood in your refrigerator spoiled. I can imagine how youmust havefelt.

The reader now knows that at least you appreciate his predicament. You

mightcontinueinthesamevein:

I quite agree that any refrigerator— and particularly a deluxemodelsuchasyours—shouldgiveyoutrouble-freeserviceforalotlongerthanthreeyears.However,nomanufacturer’ssystemofqualitycontrolisperfect—which

iswhyweadviseourcustomerstoinvestinaservicecontract.IfIweretochargeyounothingforyourservicecall,youwould,ineffect,

begettingthebenefitsofaservicecontractwithouthavingpaidforit.AgreeingisbetterthanarguingPutsprobleminperspectiveAppealstoreader’ssenseoffairness.Noteuseoffirstperson.

In considering your request for us to replace your refrigerator, I havetalked to the repairmanwho fixed it.Heassuresme that there is nothingfundamentally wrong— the problem was caused by a freak failure of acommonbolt,whichhehasnever seenhappenbefore.He feels it ismostunlikelytorecur:“Amilliontooneagainstit,”hesaid.Idon’tthinkanewrefrigeratorwouldbeanymorelikelytogiveyouthe

yearsofserviceyouhaveeveryrighttoexpect.Butshouldyouhavefurthertrouble,Ihopeyouwillgetintouchwithme

atonce.Yourstruly,

Seriouslyconsidersreader’srequest,givesfullreasonsforturningitdownEventheturndownissympatheticLeavesdooropen

Inthisletter,theauthorshowsapersonalinterestinthecustomer’ssituation.

Hetreatsthedemandsasreasonable,andtakesthetroubletoexplainwhyheisturningthemdown.Heleaveschannelsofcommunicationopen—justincase.Inshort,hislettersoundsasthoughhecares.Neversaynoinanger—nomatterhowangrytheotherpartymaybe.Youare

inthepositionofpower.Controlyourself.Alwaysappreciatethefeelingsofthepersonyouareturningdown.Neverbelittleanybody—nevermakearequestoracomplaintsoundfoolish

orunreasonable.Alwaysshowconsiderationforpointsofviewotherthanyourown.Never say no casually, in an offhand manner. Always take the trouble to

explainyourreasons.Allofthisappliesjustasforcefullytoaformletter.Doeverythingyoucanto

makeitsoundaslittlelikeaformletteraspossible.The admissions staff at Dartmouth College has to turn down thousands of

applicants toevery freshmanclass.A form lettergets straight to thepoint that“we cannot offer you admission to the class of 2004 at Dartmouth.” It thenshowsthekindofsensitivitytotheimpactoftherejectionthatonewouldexpect

fromapersonal note, stressing that being turneddown shouldnot be taken asevidenceofinadequacyorfailure.

The selection process does not separate qualified from unqualifiedapplicants. We are convinced that most candidates for admission toDartmouthwouldthriveacademicallyandpersonallyattheCollege.Ofthemany strong students in our applicant pool, an overwhelmingmajority isdestined to perform extremely well in their college years. It is only therelatively small sizeofour first-yearclass thatpreventsus fromselectingmoreofourapplicants.Thisisoneofthefewtimeswewishwehadalargerstudentbodysowecouldacceptmorestudents.

All letters thatsayNOwoulddowell tosay itwithsuchsympathyfor the

feelingsofthereader.

Howtocollectmoneyowedyou

It’s hard to write a good collection letter. You don’t want to irritate your

reader.Butyoudowanttogetthemoney.Watchyourtoneofvoice. Ifyou’reremindingsomebodythatapaymentisa

fewdaysoverdue,don’tsoundasthoughyou’reabouttocallinthelawyers.Bad BetterDearMr.Jones: DearMr.Jones:IthascometoourattentionthatyouhavefailedtoremityourJunepayment,whichbecameoverdueonJune12.

I’mwritingtoletyouknowthatyourJunepayment(dueonJune12)hasn’treachedusyet.

On the other hand, if you are going to take legal action, don’t pussyfootaround.Comerightoutandsaywhatyoumean:

DearMr.Hinson:

Your June payment is now three months overdue. You have notrespondedtothreelettersinwhichIaskedifyouthoughttherewasanerrorinthebill.Icannotreachyoubytelephone.

ThereforeI’maskingourlawyerstocollectthe$104.56thatyouoweus.

Watchyourchoiceofwords.Neverusewordsthatsuggestthatyourreaderisa criminal. “Delinquent” is a favorite of bill collectors, as in “You have beendelinquentinmeetingyourpaymentsfortwomonthsinarow.”Yourobjectistocollect;irritatingyourreadersisnotlikelytosendthemtotheircheckbooks.Don’timplythatyourreaderisaliar.Ifawomanhaswrittenyouthatshepaid

her bill promptly on the first of each of the last four months, and you havereceivednopayments,don’twrite,“Youclaimthatyoupaidyourbilleach…”Theword“claim”reeksofdisbelief.Ifsheislying,itwon’thelp.Ifsheisn’t,itwillinfuriateher.Bettertotakeheratherwordandsuggestapositivenextstep:

DearMs.Bossler:

Althoughyou’vebeenmailingyourpaymentspromptly,wehavenorecordofreceivingthem.

Perhapstheerrorisinourrecords.Sinceyouhavebeenpayingbycheck,your bank will by now have returned two and perhaps three of yourcanceledchecks,ifinfactwehavedepositedthem.Please look for themand if you find them, send us photocopies at our

expensesowecancorrectourrecords.If you cannot find the canceled checks, wemust assume the payments

somehowgotlost.Wouldyouthensendusanewcheckcoveringatleastthefirstthreepayments,andpreferablyallfour?Iencloseanaddressed,stampedenvelope.

Yourstruly,AssumestruthfulnessAdmitspossibilityofownerrorSuggestsconstructiveactionAskforpaymentcourteouslybutfirmlyReduceslikelihoodofyetanother“test”check

Thereisnothinginsuchalettertoirritateaninnocentcustomer;noristhere

anyloopholeforfurtherdelayonthepartofaguiltyone.Keepinmindthatyourpurposeisnottomakeyourreaderangry,buttogetthemoneythat’sowedyou.

Howtocomplain

Neverwritejusttoletoffsteam.Writetogetsomethingdone—yourmoney

back,orfasterservice,oramistakerectified.Is thepersonwhowill readyourletteratfaultforwhatwentwrong?Ifnot,there’snopointingettingsoreinyourletter.Whileangerhasitsplaceincorrespondenceasinlife,moreoftenthannotyou’llgetbetterresultsfromacool, lucidstatementofwhat’sgonewrongandwhatyou’dlikedoneaboutit.Include everything your reader needs to know to take action — account

number, item number, pertinent dates, form numbers, photocopies of canceledchecks, photocopies of bills. If you leave anything out, youmayhave towaitthroughanotherroundofcorrespondencebeforeyoumakeprogress.Putyourcomplaintandwhatyouwantdoneaboutitinthefirstsentence.

ThesweaterIorderedformyson’sbirthdayneverarrived.Pleasesendanotherimmediately.

Askforareplywithaspecificstatementofwhatthenextstepwillbe:

Pleaseletmeknowwhatactionyouplantotake,andwhen.

Ifyouarenotthepersonwhohandlesthis,pleasegetmylettertotherightpersonatonce.Andpleaseletmeknowthatyou’vedoneso,andwhoitis.I’dappreciatethatinformationbyFriday,May10,atthelatest.

Beclear.Becomplete—andyoucan toss inaheartrendingdescriptionof

what you have suffered. Be firm. Be courteous. That’s the kind of letter thatusually gets fast results. If it fails, raise hell. Write to the head of theorganization and include all correspondence. Nine times out of ten you’ll getsatisfactionfromtheboss.

Howtoanswercomplaints

Neverbedefensive. If thecomplaint is reasonable,sayso—andsaywhat

you’re going to do about it. Neiman Marcus, the Dallas-based chain ofdepartment stores, has built much of its reputation on its responsiveness tocustomers. Here is how then-Chairman Richard Marcus replied to onecustomer’scomplaint:

DearMs.Klugman:

I am astonished to learn of the shoddy service you recentlyreceivedfromourMailOrderDepartment,andthereisnoexcuseforthe lack of response and discourteous conversation you had with amemberofourMailOrderphonestaff.

I’m askingMr. Ron Foppen, senior vice-president and director of ourMailOrder operation, to investigate thismatter immediately, and hewillpersonallycontactyouwithinafewdays.I apologize for any inconvenience and embarrassment we may have

causedyou,andtrustthatwewillhavetheopportunityofservingyoubetterinthefuture.

Yourssincerely,RichardMarcus

Acceptsthecomplaintatfacevalue

Sayswhathe’sgoingtodoaboutit

Apologizes

Asksforcontinuedbusiness

Farfrombeingdefensive,Mr.Marcuscomesrightoutandcalls thestore’sservice “shoddy” and says that “there is no excuse” for it. Despite the clichéapology, “for any inconvenience we may have caused you,” the entire lettersoundspersonal,sympathetic,andresponsive.What if you feel that the complaint lacks any justification? Say so, but be

courteous.Intelligentreadersaregoodatdetectingtheslightesthintofirritabilityorimpatience.Youshouldbeatleastascourteousonpaperasyouwouldbeinperson.Forthrightanddirect.Neversarcasticorrude.

Whentouseveryshortletters

A short letter— sometimes no longer than a sentence or two— can be

highlyeffective.Itcanestablishyourinterest.

DearMr.Woodrow:

Yourproposal interestsusa lot.We’llgetback toyouassoonaswe’ve sortedoutourbudgetproblems fornext year—no later thantheendofnextweek.

It can let your reader know what’s happening, and demonstrate your

thoroughness.

DearMs.Pruitt:

Halfyourshipmentwentout thismorning,airexpress.TheotherhalffollowsnextMonday,parcelpost,asyourequested.

Itcansaythankyou.

DearHelen:

IhopeyoucankeepDanMurphyonouraccountforever.He’sthebestsalesrepresentativeI’veeverdealtwith.

Important decisions, however, are seldommade impersonally inmemosor

letters or e-mail. “The people who remember that something meaningful andconstructivehappenswhen twopeopleare in the same roomhavinga face-to-facecommunication—andconverselythatsomethingdestructivehappenswhenpeople hide behind technology to communicate—will be happiest andmostsuccessfulinthenewenvironment,”saysMarkMcCormack,presidentandCEOof International Management Group, the leading sports marketing company.

Even as electronic communication continues to spread, talking to the otherpersonisstilldecisive.

Churchill’smemosgotintothesubjectfast:

PrimeMinistertoGeneralIsmay8August1943

I have crossed out on the attached paper many unsuitable names.Operationsinwhichlargenumbersofmenmaylosetheirlivesoughtnottobe described by code-words which imply a boastful and overconfidentsentiment, such as “Triumphant,” or, conversely, which are calculated toinvest the plan with an air of despondency, such as “Woebetide,”“Massacre,” “Jumble,” “Trouble,” “Fidget,” “Flimsy,” “Pathetic,” and“Jaundice.”Theyought not to be names of a frivolous character, such as“Bunnyhug,” “Billingsgate,” “Aperitif,” and “Ballyhoo.”They should notbe ordinary words often used in other connections, such as “Flood,”“Smooth,”“Sudden,”“Supreme,”“Full-force,”and“Fullspeed.”Namesofliving people—Ministers or Commanders-— should be avoided; e.g.,“Bracken.”

1. Afterall, theworldiswide,andintelligentthoughtwillreadilysupplyan unlimited number of well-sounding names which do not suggest thecharacter of the operation or disparage it in any way and do not enablesomewidowormothertosaythathersonwaskilledinanoperationcalled“Bunnyhug”or“Ballyhoo.”

2. Proper names are good in this field. The heroes of antiquity, figuresfrom Greek and Roman mythology, the constellations and stars, famousracehorses, names of British and American war heroes, could be used,provided they fallwithin the rules above.Therearenodoubtmanyotherthemesthatcouldbesuggested.

3. Careshouldbe taken inall thisprocess.Anefficientanda successfuladministrationmanifestsitselfequallyinsmallasingreatmatters.

6 Writing for an Audience: Presentations andSpeeches

Peoplehavecometo listen.Youhavetheirattention,at leastat thestart. Ifyoudon’twanttoloseit,don’twastetheirtime.Don’tborethem.Talktothem,notatthem.Whenpreparinganykindofpresentationorspeech,themostbasicprincipleis

tothinkabouttheaudience.Eachisdifferentandhasspecialinterests.Whatarethe backgrounds of the people, and why are they there? What’s on theircollectivemind?Isthesettingformalorrelaxed?Areyouspeakinginthemiddleofabusyworkdayorafteraheavyeveningmeal? Itallmakesadifference inwhat you say and how you say it. Writing for an audience is different fromwritingtoberead.

Thelogicofbusinesscommunication

In the business world, there is a logic — a discipline of thinking and

communication—thatpushesprojects,solvesproblems,setsplans,andmovesideastoaction.Tothoseingovernmentoreducationandnonprofitinstitutions,itisidentifiedandwelcomedas“businesslike.”Inbusiness,itistakenforgranted.Theformofcommunicationevolves.Theinternalmemoisfading,replacedin

manycasesbye-mail.Formajorrecommendationsandproposals,formalpapershavebeendisplacedforthemostpartbypresentations—face-to-face.Insteadofwritingforareader,itiswritingforanaudience.The principal form of presentation in most organizations has become the

“deck,”jargonforpageafterpageofbulletedpointsservingasaframeworkforspokenelaboration.Thenameprobablyderivesfromadeckofpapers(likedeckofcards),butdeckscanbedeliveredonoverheadslidesorPowerPointslidesonacomputer,simplyadeckonascreenormonitor.There’sjustoneconstant—decks are invariably horizontal. Sometimes the presenter even disappears, aswhenthere’sarequestto“Sendmeyourslides,”evidenceofhowpervasivethisformofcommunicationhasbecome.While decks lack the precision and nuances of carefully crafted memos or

papers,it’snotproductivetomourntheloss.Decksarereality,thebusinesstoolthatgetsthingsdone.Andthedeckhasitsownmerits,instimulatingdebateandcarryingdiscussionsthroughseverallayersofmanagement.One of the renowned practitioners of presentation decks, the McKinsey

consulting firm,uses themeffectively inclient “engagements.”Writing inTheNewYorker,NicholasLemanndescribestheMcKinseyapproach:

Theaimoftheengagementisnottogivetheclientreadingmaterial,it’sto reduce the issue to its pulsing essence.The client teamcomes into theroom,youdistributethedeck,andcrisply,calmly,rationally,brilliantly,youmake your “clunk points,”marching through them inexorably to the oneunerringstrategicconclusion.

Reducing the issue to “its pulsing essence” iswhat awell-done deck does

best.Onlykeypointsoneachpage,asfewwordsaspossible.Butthepointsonthepagemustpointtosomething—someaction.

Theformatcarriestheaudienceonaflowoflogic:

ObjectiveBackgroundFactsConclusionsRecommendationsNextsteps

IntheMemorialSloan-Ketteringexhibitthatfollows:

INTERNETSTRATEGYistheObjective.INTEREST IN INTERNET FOR MEDICAL INFORMATION is

Background.DRIVERSOFGROWTHareFactstobeconsidered.LEVERAGINGTHEINTERNETistheConclusion.TheRecommendationisANAUTHORITATIVEWEBSITE.FundingandControlofContentareNEXTSTEPS.

ATYPICALPRESENTATIONDECK

MEMORIALSLOAN-KETTERINGCANCERCENTER

InternetStrategy

AmericansareIncreasinglyLookingtotheInternetforHealthandMedicalInformation

[Chartshowinggrowthofon-linehealthandmedicalinformation]

DriversofGrowth

Consumers taking more active role in managing their health[Survey]

Internet enables patients to educate themselves on health-relatedtopics[Research]

Managed care reducing consumers’ access to physicians, drivingthemtoseekalternativesourcesofinformation

ByLeveragingthePoweroftheInternet,MSKCCCanDeliverItsMissiontoaMuchBroaderAudience

MSKCCMission:“The progressive control and cure of cancer through programs of

patientcare,research,andeducation”

Education—[Accesstoknowledge,disseminatingfindings]PatientCare—[Accesstoexpertise,patientinformation]

CancerSmartwillbetheAuthoritativeWebSiteforInformationandMedicalAdvice

Cancer prevention, detection, and treatment improvement in thequalityoflifeforthosewiththediseaseandtheirfamilie

AlthoughThereareaNumberofMedicalSites,SomewithCancerInfo,NoneOffertheBreadthandDepthoftheProposedSite

[Examples—generalhealth,cancerorganizations,specialtysites,medicaladvice]

To arrive at that simple structure requires a disciplined analysis of everyelement — alternatives, implications, costs, or any other factor that must beweighed.A useful model to help organize that analysis, especially for complex

decisions,isthePyramidPrinciple,developedforMcKinseybyBarbaraMinto:

THEPYRAMIDPRINCIPLE

Theeasiestorderistoreceivethemajor,moreabstractideasbeforethe

minor,supportingones.Andsincethemajorideasarealwaysderivedfromtheminorones,theidealstructureoftheideaswillalwaysbeapyramidofgroupsofideastiedtogetherbyasingleoverallthought.

PURCHASEALARGEFRANCHISE

Growfasterthanindustry

Positivefinancialimpact

Easytoabsorb

Large Few Low Growing Rising Separate Same Simplemarket competitors cost sales profits business managers controls

Withinthatpyramidalstructure,theideaswillrelatevertically—inthatapointatanylevelwillalwaysbeasummaryoftheideasgroupedbelow;and horizontally — in that the ideas will have been grouped togetherbecausetheypresentalogicalargument.While not every presentation fits neatly into a pyramid structure— each

must reflect the business issue under consideration — the principle can behelpfulinorganizingthelogicandthinking.Mintonotesthatmostpeopleonlyhaveahazynotionoftheirideaswhentheysitdowntowrite,andcannotknowpreciselywhat they thinkuntil forced towork it out. “Howdo I knowwhat Ithink,”askednovelistE.M.Forster,“untilIseewhatIwrite?”

HowtoOrganizeaPresentation

Organizing a presentation is a combination of clear thinking (the pyramid

principle,forexample)andclearcommunications(pointsthatfollowhere).The setting is most likely a conference room. It’s a business environment.

Everythingyousay,everythingyoushow,everydeviceyouuse,mustmoveyoutowardyourobjectivesinabusinesslikefashion.

1.Keepthingssimple—keepthemontarget

Startwithspecific,writtenobjectives—andastrategy.Youneedathemeto

give your presentation unity and direction, and to fix your purpose in youraudience’smind.Make itasimple theme,easy to remember,andopenwith it,usingaheadlinetostateit:

DOUBLEYOURSALES

CUTYOURCOSTS

NEEDED:ANEWBALLPARK

MOREFUNFORBOSTONIANS

Tieeveryelementinyourpresentationtothetheme.Ifyou’reusingcharts,put your theme all by itself on one chart and place itwhere itwill be visiblethroughout the presentation. This keeps the people in your audience —sometimessleepy,oftendistracted,alwayswith lotson theirminds—focusedonyourtheme(andmessage).

2.Tellyouraudiencewhereyou’regoing

Show an agenda that lists the points you are going to cover.Describe the

structure of your presentation, and say how long it will take. Estimate timeconservatively—erronthelongsideratherthantheshortside.Apresentationthatispromisedfortwentyminutesandgoestwenty-fiveseemslikeaneternity.Thesamethingpromisedforthirtyminutesseemsshortintwenty-five,crispandbusinesslike.Throughoutthemeeting,refertotheagendatokeepyouraudienceontrack.

Prepareapresentationbooktheaudiencecankeep,andtellthematthestartthatyou’ll give them copies after themeeting. Thiswill relieve them from takingvoluminousnotes(insteadoflistening),soyou’llgettheirfullattention.

Doeverythingthat’sbeenasked—andalittlemore.Bepreciseandcompleteincoveringwhatwasrequested.Ifyoucannotcoversomepointorother,saysoandsaywhy.

3.Talkaboutthem,notaboutus

While you are talking about your credentials and your achievements, the

peopleintheaudiencearethinkingabouttheirorganization,theirbusiness,theirproblems.The biggest singlemistake in presentations is to start by catalogingyourcredentials,tellingpeoplehowterrificyouare.

The authors learned in the advertising business that the bestpresentationssolicitingnewbusinessstartedwithresearchintheprospect’smarket.Evensmall-scalestudiesrivetedtheaudiencefromthestart.Theseinsightsintotheprospect’sproblemssetuptheagency’srecommendations.Ourcredentials cameat theend,andwereoftennotneeded.By then,wehadmadethesaleornot.

Relatewhatyouoffertoyouraudience’sneeds.Presenteverythingpossible

intermsofbenefitstotheaudience.

4.Thinkheadlines,notlabels

Presentersoftenhaveimpressivedataontheircharts,butfailtoextractwhat

the data shows, so the audience doesn’t understand what the numbers prove.Whatdoesyourdata say?Headingson charts should tell the audiencehow tothinkaboutthenumbers:Use Insteadof“Lowpricecompetitionisgaining” “Trends”“Ouredgeisservice” “WhyAcme?”“Insuranceratingsareaproblem” “Constraintsonbusiness”“Wehavetoimproveservice” “Conclusion”

Use headings to establish your main points. Guide the audience bynumberingthemonchartsorslides,tellingpeoplehowmanyyouhave.

IntroductoryStrategy

1. Smallmarketsbeforelargeones.2. Threenewmarketseverysixmonths.3. Concentrateconstructioninspringandsummer.

Readeverywordon the screenorchart to theaudience.Don’tparaphrase.Somepresentersthinkitisunnecessary,evenchildish,toreadverbatim.Butnomatterwhatyoudo,youraudiencewillreadwhat’sinfrontoftheireyes.Ifwhatthey are hearing is something other than what they are seeing, they will bedistractedandconfused.Readeverythingupthere,thencommentorexpandonit. You will no longer be competing with your slides or charts for youraudience’sattention.If your style is to ad-lib, put only key words or phrases on your charts or

slides.

Problems

Price JapanQualitycontrol Sweden

Facetheaudiencewhenyoupresent.Manypeopleturntheirbacksandreadfrom the screen, especially when using overhead slides.Work from the slideitselforfromascript.Itpaystoavoiddarkroomswithslides(particularlyafterlunch).Computerprojectionorchartskeepthelightsonandtheaudiencealert.

5.Involvetheaudience

Lookforinterestingvisualdevicestopresentdry,routinematerials.Alittle

creativitygoesalongway.Newcomputerprogramsmakeiteasytodocolorfulthingswith pie charts and bar charts.Newsmagazines hire top artists tomaketheirchartsinterestingandclear.USAToday isparticularlyadeptatcharts,andrunsatleastoneeverydayinthelowerleft-handcornerofthefrontpage.Studythetechniquesofthesepublications—andborrowfromthem.Thinkofwaystoinvolveyouraudience.Playgameswiththem.Invitepeople

toguesstheanswerstoquestions,ortopredicttheresultsofresearch—beforeyourevealthem.

Trytoaddsomethingextra,somethingunexpected.Itdemonstratesmorethanroutine interest. Youmight play tape recordings of customers describing youraudience’sproduct,orquotea relevantpassage fromaspeechyouraudience’schiefexecutivemadeyearsago,orshowanexcerptfromyesterday’sTVnewsthatilluminatesorreinforcesanimportantpoint.DavidOgilvywasfamousforaddingdramatohispresentations.Tomakehis

pointabout the importanceofhiringthebestpeople,hepresentedhisdirectorssets of Russian dolls — those nesting dolls that come apart to revealsuccessively smallerdolls inside.Around the smallestdollwasa slipofpaperwiththismessage:

If we hire people who are smaller than we are, we shall become acompanyofdwarfs.Ifwehirepeoplewhoarebiggerthanweare,weshallbecomeacompanyofgiants.

“Hire people who are better than you are,” Ogilvy commanded, “and pay

them more if necessary. That’s how we’ll become a great agency.” NobodyforgottheRussiandolls—theydramatizedthemessage.Yourdramaticflourishesmustberelevanttoyourpoint.Almosteveryonehas

been to big show-biz presentations where the entertainment overwhelms themessage.Goeasyontechnology,whichcantakeonalifeofitsown.Softwareprograms create slides that “build,” “dissolve,” or “wipe,” techniques that canaddinterest—ordistract.Rememberyou’reinbusiness,notshowbusiness,andmustcommunicateinordertopersuade.

6.Finishstrong

“Oh, giveme something to remember you by” goes the song.As soon as

you’ve gone, your audience is likely to turn its attention to other things —perhaps to presentations competitive to yours. Leave something to rememberyouby.Don’t let ameetingdriftoff into trivia.Closewitha summaryanda strong

restatement of your proposition or recommendation. For major presentations,lookforamemorable,dramaticclose—somethingvisual,perhapsasmallgiftthatsymbolizesyourmainpoint.Keep your promise about howmuch time you’ll take. Running longer than

yousaidyouwouldattheoutsetshowsalackofdiscipline.

Presentersoftensproutwingsandflywhenconfrontedwithanaudience.Theyexpand,tellanecdotes—andhatetositdown.Ifwhatyou’vewrittenisexactlyon time in rehearsal, you’ll probably run over in performance. If you’ve beenallottedtwentyminutes,writeforfifteen.Leavetimeforquestions—theQandAsessionletstheaudiencegettoknow

youbetterandcould tip thedecisionyourway.Andprepare forquestions.Asyou’rewriting,bealerttoyourinevitableweakspots.Whataretheholesinyourargument?Whatalternativesdidyouconsider?Ifyoucannotbuildtheanswersintoyourpresentation,bereadytohandlethem—brieflyandrespectfully,sothequestionerwillfeelsmarttohaveasked.Edit—toshorten.Reorganize—tomakesureyourmessageisclear.Revise

—tomakeitsoundlikeyou,speakingnaturally.Rehearse—alwayswithprops.Youmaythinkyouknowhowyou’regoingto

handle your charts and other visual materials, but each presentation seems topresent problems of its own. If you can, rehearse in the room where thepresentationwill takeplace.Gothroughyourentirepresentationat least twice.Onlyanamateurworriesaboutoverpreparingandlosinganedge.Thebetteryouknowwhatyou’redoing,themorespontaneousyou’llseem.

SpeechesThatMakeaPoint

“Youstartwithtryingtofigureoutwhatyouwanttosay,”saysspeechwriter

Peggy Noonan, who contributed to many of Ronald Reagan’s most effectivespeeches.Herexperienceisthat“…itishardertodecidewhatyouwanttosaythanitistofigureouthowtosayit.”Mostpeoplehaveaterribletimeknowingwheretobegininwritingaspeech.

Theanswer isnot tohunt foragreatopening.Not toaskaroundfor the latestjoke.Theplacetostartistothinkaboutwhoisinyouraudienceanddecidewhatyouwanttosaytothem.Decidewhatsinglepointyouwantthemtotakeaway.Thenstartwriting.You

canputdownanythingthatgetsyouintowhatyouwanttotalkabout,nomatterhowclumsyitseems.There’stimetopolishitlater.Thepointistogetrolling.Immerseyourselfinyoursubjectlongbeforeyouwrite.Readaboutit,make

notesoflinesthatmightbeused,illustrativestories,itemsinthenewsthatbearuponit.Allwillhelpyousettleonatheme.Thenextstepisabroadoutline,withthree or fourmajor points and examples or subpoints under each. (Oneof theauthorsnowdoesthisonhiscomputer.)

Now’sthetimetoformapictureofthespeakingsituation.Isitanafter-dinneraddress,alecture,aseminar?Areyoutheonlyspeakeroroneofseveral?Whomdoyoufollowontheprogram?Willtheaudiencebesleepy?Keepthesituationinmindasyouwrite.Itwillmakeadifferenceinwhatyousayaswellasinhowyousayit.Inwriting a speech, it helps to think about addressingone individual rather

thanafacelessaudience.Whatyouwriteshouldsoundexactlylikeyoutalkingtosomebody.Another trickthatoftenworks:Crossout thefirstseveralparagraphs.You’ll

often find your opening line halfway down the first page.Most of us have atendencytowarmuptoolongbeforethrowingthepitch.

1.Framethesubjectwithapointofview

Somecynicsmaintainthatthesubliminaltitleofeveryspeechis“HowtoBe

MoreLikeMe.”Whileyouraudiencemightnot look forward toa speech thatactually had such a title, good speechesnearly always express a stronglyheldpersonalpointofview.H.L.MenckencomparedtwospeechesbyPresidentHarding.

ThefirstwasonthesimpleidealsoftheElks:Itwasatopicclosetohisheart, andhe had thought about it at length.The resultwasan excellentspeech—clear,logical,forceful,andwithatouchofwild,romanticbeauty.But when, at a public meeting in Washington, he essayed to deliver anorationonthesubjectofDanteAlighieri,hequicklybecamesoobscureandabsurdthateventheDiplomaticCorpsbegantosnicker.

Yourtitleshouldreflectyourpointofview.Atip-offtothelackofapointof

view ina speech isa lazy titleorno titleatall. “RemarksBefore theSeventhAnnualConference.”Speech titles are different frommovie or book titles,which are designed to

sell tickets or books. You already have your audience there — to hear yourspeechasaprofessionalduty.Thelessitfeelslikeadutyandthemoreitcanbeanticipated with pleasure, themore likely you are to get full attention and toregister what you want to say. An interesting title can create that sense ofpleasurableanticipation.Herearesomegoodtitles:

TheTreeThatGrowstotheSky(onWallStreet)

Nonprofits:FiveAdditionstotheTenCommandments

HowtoKeepYourAdsOutofCourt

WebSitesIHaveKnown

WhenWilltheBubbleBurst?Ideasthatyoubelieveinmakegoodspeeches.TomPeters,authorofInSearch

ofExcellence,advisesnottoacceptanytopicthatyoudon’tfeelstronglyabout:“Stick to topics you care deeply about, and don’t keep your passion buttonedinside your vest. An audience’s biggest turn-on is the speaker’s obviousenthusiasm.”

2.Startfast

Itmaybe“anhonorandaprivilege”tohavebeeninvitedtospeak,butthatis

notwhatpeoplecametohear.Plungeintowhatyouwant tosay.Theoccasionmay require some pro forma opening courtesies, but keep them as short aspossible.Adlai Stevenson lost his presidential race against Eisenhower, but gained a

reputationasoneofthemostgracefulpublicspeakers.Hisfirstappearanceafterbeingnominated(andendorsedbythen-presidentHarryTruman)startedonthisnote:

Iacceptyournomination—andyourprogram.

Ishouldhavepreferredtohearthosewordsutteredbyastronger,awiser,abetterman thanmyself.Butafter listening to thePresident’sspeech,Ievenfeelbetteraboutmyself.

None of you, my friends, can wholly appreciate what is in myheart.Icanonlyhopethatyouunderstandmywords.Theywillbefew.

Youdon’thavetotelljokes.Areyoufunny?Insmallgroups,doyoumake

peoplelaugh?Ifnot,forgetit.Ifyoudotellajokeoranecdote,don’tbuildupto

it (“On the way here tonight …”). Tell the joke. Make sure your jokes arerelevanttoyourpoint.Makesurethey’refunny—bytryingthemoutaheadoftime.Start with that single point you want your audience to take away, then

concludewithamemorableway for them todo so.Don’t just repeat it (“As Isaidatthebeginningofthistalk…”)butfindavividimagetoregisterthepoint.

3.Writeyourspeechtobespoken

Don’t thinkof it asanoration.Thinkof it asaconversationwitha friend.

RonaldReaganwasamasteratthis.Here’showhehandledtheexplosionofthespaceshuttleChallenger(withhelpattributedtoPeggyNoonan).Hestartedbyexpressinggrief:

Ladies and gentlemen, I had planned to speak to you tonight on theStateof theUnion,but theeventsof earlier todayhave ledme tochangethoseplans.Todayisadayformourningandremembering.Nancy and I are pained to the core by the tragedy of the shuttle

Challenger.Weknowwesharethepainwithallthepeopleofourcountry.Thisistrulyanationalloss.

After paying simple tribute to the sevenmen andwomenwhodied and to

theirfamilies,hespokeconversationallytochildren:

AndIwanttosaysomethingtotheschoolchildrenofAmerica,whowerewatching the live coverage of the shuttle’s takeoff. I know it’s hard tounderstand,butsometimespainfulthingslikethishappen.It’sallpartoftheprocessof explorationanddiscovery; it’s all part of takinga chanceandexpandingman’shorizons.Thefuturedoesn’tbelongtothefainthearted,itbelongstothebrave…

Amovingandemotionaltalk—it’shardtocallitaspeech.Reagantalkedto

hisaudience.Readaloudthedraftofyourspeech,andeditituntilitsoundslikeyoutalking

naturally. Ghostwriters can help, but your speechmust ultimately reflect you.Never deliver a speech drafted by someone else before you have revised it tosoundlikeyou.

4.Leavethemthinking

Agreatspeechisonethatinspirestheaudiencetothinkaboutasubjectfrom

a fresh perspective. It helps a lot if you have the credibility, if the audienceperceives that you are speaking from personal knowledge. Robert Rubin,described(in1999)as“themostsuccessfulTreasurysecretaryofthiscentury,”isknownformakinggooddecisions.Hewasthusinagoodpositiontofocushiscommencement speech at theUniversity of Pennsylvania on decisionmaking.Histitle:“AHealthyRespectforUncertainty.”

AsIthinkbackovertheyears,Ihavebeenguidedbyfourprinciplesfordecisionmaking.First, the only certainty is that there is no certainty. Second, every

decision, as a consequence, is a matter of weighing probabilities. Third,despite uncertainty wemust decide andmust act. And lastly, we need tojudgedecisionsnotonlyonresults,butonhowtheyaremade.

He closes with a reminder of a world of increased interdependence and a

plea to “recognize this reality and reject the voices of withdrawal…”Heavystuff,evenforacommencement,butimportant—andsomethingthatwillleaveatleastsomeoftheaudiencethinking.

5.Nospeechwasevertooshort

Onyourwayoutafteraspeech,doyouremembereverthinkingitwasgood

—butalittletooshort?Mostgoodtalkstakelessthantwentyminutes.Considerwhatyouhavesooftenhad tosit through,andhowmuchbetter it couldhavebeensaidinfewwords.When Theodor Geisel, who wrote as Dr. Seuss, was awarded an honorary

college degree, he determined hewould respondwith the best speech ever—andtheshortest.“Kidshatelongspeeches,”hesaid.“Theyhaveotherthingsontheirmindsatgraduation.”Hereishisentiretalk:

MyUncleTerwilligerontheArtofEatingPopovers

Myuncleorderedpopovers

fromtherestaurant’sbilloffare—And,whentheywereserved,heregardedthemwithapenetratingstare…ThenhespokeGreatWordsofWisdomashesatthereonthatchair:“Toeatthesethings,”saidmyuncle,“youmustexercisegreatcare.Youmayswallowdownwhat’ssolid…BUTyoumustspitouttheair!”Andasyoupartakeoftheworld’sbilloffare,that’sdarnedgoodadvicetofollow.Doalotofspittingoutofhotair.Andbecarefulwhatyouswallow.

Fewofus—indeedonlyoneofus—haveTedGeisel’stalent.Butitdoesn’t

taketalenttofigureoutwhatyouwanttosay,tosayit,andtositdown.

Makingitsoundeasy

Consider speeches that have impressed you. The speaker seemed to be

talking to you, not reading to you. You’ve got to establish contact with theaudience.Andthatmeanslookingoutatthepeople,notdownatthescript.Some speakers have a bag of tricks thatmake it easier for themmerely to

glanceatthescriptnowandthenandspendmostoftheirtimelookingaroundatthe people in the room. Ultimately, however, the only way to do this is torehearse.Rehearsewhatyouhavetosayoverandoveruntilyouknowitalmostby heart. The better you know your speech, the more spontaneous you willsound.Andthemoreconfident.Whatsetsthememorablespeakerapartfromtheordinary one is confidence and presence. As somebody’s mother-in-law says,“Yougetrightupthereandpretendyou’re justasgoodasanyoneelse.”Greatspeakerscommunicateasenseofenergyandenthusiasm.It’sdifficulttobeobjectiveaboutyourownspeakingability.Butitcanhelpto

listentoyourselfrehearseonataperecorder.Betteryet,takethetraumaticstep

ofseeingyourselfonvideotape.Anilluminatingteacher.The most effective speeches and presentations sound as if they have been

spoken,ad-lib,andnotwrittendownatall.Greatpresentersandspeakersmakeitallsoundsoeasyandsonaturalthatoneassumesitjustpoursoutofthem.Italmostneverdoes.

Loppingofftwoparagraphsimprovedthisspeech.

7PlansandReportsThatMakeThingsHappen

ThebestreporteverwrittenmayhavebeenJuliusCaesar’sVeni,vidi,vici.“Icame,Isaw,Iconquered.”Reports,likeCaesar’s,describetheoutcomeofanoperation.What’shappened

so far. A plan stateswhat we want to happen. Both are essential to movingforward.Makingthingshappendependsonclearcommunication.Theconsequencesof

faulty organization and careless writing are severe. Unpersuasive plans gostraight to the files, unacted on. Sloppy reports land in wastebaskets, unread.Problems go unrecognized or unsolved.Opportunities aremissed. Things thatshouldhappendon’t.

HowtoWriteaPlan

Whetheryouarewritingabattleplanorabusinessplan,yourobjectiveisthe

same:action.“For Montgomery,” wrote a biographer of the British World War II field

marshal,“itwasallaquestionofhavingaplan.Onceyouhaddecidedwhatyouwanted—what,inmilitaryterms,wasyouraim—youmadeaplan,whichyouthenimplementedcarefullybystages,maintainingtheaimandconcentratingallyourresourcestoachievingit.”Aplanstartswithaclearstatementofpurpose.Thecapitalcampaignforthe

NewYorkBotanicalGardenstarted:

ThisplanlaysthegroundworkfortheGarden’srenaissance.Itsetsforththe Garden’s future directions and identifies the resources required toachievefinancialstabilityandmoveforwardwithvitality.

The plan then outlined the purposes of each of five proposed programs

withinthatplan:

Newvigorandfocusforbotanicalscience—anewplantstudiescenter, endowing science, staffing the Institutes of Systematic andEconomic Botany, strengthening the library, improving Herbariumaccess, expanding research in the forest, renovating laboratories,disseminatingscientificinformation.

AnAmerican horticultural showcase— the great conservatory,building horticultural endowments, the propagation range, fundingcriticalstaffpositions,expandingstewardshipoftheforest,completingthedemonstrationgardenscomplex,completingaplantinventoryandcomputerizing horticulture, improving turfgrass, rebuilding theMontgomeryConiferCollection.

Environmental education — The Children’s Adventure Garden,environmental education in the forest, hiring a graduate studiescoordinator,strengtheningcontinuingeducation.

The visitor’s experience — providing additional parking,renovatingthelecturehall,creatingnewpublicprogramming,creatinga new visitor center, new signage program, undertaking audienceresearch.

Financialstability— supporting the growth of the annual fund,buildingendowment,developingearnedincome,conductingacapitalcampaign.

The seven-year $165 million campaign went over its target and achieved

almostallitsgoals.

You’rewritingforsomeonewhowilleitherapproveyourplan,senditback

formorework,or reject it.Anything thatconfuses thatdecisionor throws thereaderoffthetrackmakesapprovallesslikely.Cutoutall irrelevancies.Ifyoufeel you have to touch on secondary or side issues, label them as such.Everythinginyourplanshouldpertaintoyourstatedgoal.

1.Buildafoundationoffacts

Yourchoiceoffactsshouldberigorouslyselective.Sticktofactsthatrelate

toissuesunderconsideration.Changesinthemarket.Competitivemoves.New

products,servicesortechnologies.Financialissues—revenues,profitmargins,returnoninvestment.Economicorpoliticalconditions.Manyplanswillcallforacombinationofsuchdata—andlotsmorebesides.Then draw conclusions from the facts.You can almost always infer one or

more principles— lessons learned, either from the situation at hand or fromothers with analogous facts. Look for emerging patterns that could guidedecisions.Finally,showhowyourfactsbearontheactionyou’reproposing.Neverpresentfactsontheirown,likeunstrunggems.Ifyourfactsdon’tlink

togetheryou leaveyour readerwith information that, likeaMexicanpyramid,doesn’tcometoapoint.

2.Stateyourrecommendationsclearly

Whatstepsdoyouproposetotake?Whatareyourreasons?The strategicplan for theTrusteesofReservations, a land conservation and

historicpreservationorganizationinMassachusetts,madefourrecommendations(whichtheytermed“aspirations”).

Aspiration 1: Save unprotected lands and properties of exceptionalconservation interest or of strategic importance to the quality andcharacteroftheMassachusettsLandscape.

Aspiration2:Offer visitors opportunities to enjoy and value ourproperties and join us in assuring the preservation of their scenic,historicandecologicalfeatures.

Aspiration3:Engageand sustainactiveparticipationofabroadanddiversepublic in theenjoyment,appreciationandstewardshipoftheMassachusettslandscape.

Aspiration4:Workwith landowners, land trusts andgovernmenttoprotect,interconnectandenhancehighqualityopenspacetoservepeopleandconservenaturethroughouttheCommonwealth.

A plan is a recommendation until it is approved. Then it becomes a

commitment to action.So itmustdescribe, stepby step, exactlywhat is tobedone.

Inmakingyourrecommendation,it’salwayswisetoconsideralternativesandrisks.Anticipatequestionsandanswer them.Don’tcoverupproblems—facethem squarely. Make your proposal realistic. If your recommendation iscontroversial,considerincludingacandidlistofprosandcons.Yourconsshouldnotbestrawmen(givethedevilherdue).

3.Makeitacalltoaction

The first draft of a major plank in U.S. policy after World War II came

throughinaweaklyworded,bureaucraticstyle.

It is essential to our security that we assist free peoples to work outtheirowndestiny in theirownwayandourhelpmustbeprimarily in theform of that economic and financial aid which is essential to economicstabilityandorderlypoliticalprocesses.

Severaldrafts later, the same ideaemergedas a ringingcredo thatbecame

knownastheTrumanDoctrine.

IbelievethatitmustbethepolicyoftheUnitedStatestogivesupporttofreepeopleswhoareattempting toresistsubjugationbyarmedminoritiesandforces.Ibelievethatitisessentialtooursecuritythatweassistfreepeoplesto

workouttheirowndestinyintheirownway.Ibelievethatourhelpmustbeintheformofeconomicandfinancialaid.

Yourgoalistoleavenoshredofdoubtastowhereyoustand,andtoarouse

enthusiasticsupportfortheactionyouseek.

HowtoWriteaReport

Some reports aid the planning process; some come after it, reporting on

progress or results. They cover events large and small — meetings, trips,competition, developments, good news, bad news. An intelligent appraisal ofactual conditions is essential to progress.Reportwhat is happening, andwhat

youthinkshouldbedoneaboutit.

1.Makeitclearwhyyou’rewritingthereport

Everyreportiswrittenforapurpose.Aconferencereport, forexample,hasonlyonepurpose: to recorddecisions

takenatmeetings.Itdoesnotrestatearguments,offeropinions,orconferpraiseorblame.Itrecordswhatwasshownordiscussed.Whatwasdecided(notwhy).Whatactionisrequiredandwhowillberesponsibleforit.Whenitisdue.Whatmoneywasauthorized.Itcoversactionsanddecisions—nothingelse.A competitive report covers competitive activity, a progress report covers

progress,andsoon.Whatisthepurpose,andwhyshouldanybodycare?Trytoengagethereader’sinterestinthefirstsentence.

This reports on amanagementmeeting at which a new salary policywasdecided.

The purpose of this report is to assess new competition — aproductthatcouldcutoursalesinhalf.

2.Giveyourreportastructure

Whetheryoustartwithyourrecommendationorlayoutthefactsbeforeyou

revealit,makeclearwhereyouaregoing.Hereisastructurethatoftenworks:

Purpose—whythereadershouldpayattentionSummary—nosurpriseendingsFindings—whatfactscanyoumarshal?Conclusions—whatpatternsdoyousee?Recommendations—whatactiondoyoupropose?Nextsteps—costs,timing,issuestoberesolved

Thereisnoneedtoparadeallyourinformationunlessthereaderneedsevery

detailtounderstandyourreport.Putintothebodyofyourreportonlythosefactsthat are essential to your point. Relegate charts and supporting data to anappendix.

3.Statethefactsfullyandaccurately

NewspaperreportersaretrainedtodothiswiththefamousfiveWs—who,

what,when,where,why (orhow).Not abaddiscipline for awriterof reports(whois,literally,areporter).

ThemajorfindingsarethatHomebrandsalesfortheyeartodateareoff28 percent, distribution is down 20 percent, and Alien’s crunchy newproductisbeingpurchasedbyhalfofallheavyusers.

Aneffectivereportstatesallthefacts,unpleasantaswellaspleasant.Itnever

inflatestheirvalidity.Ifyouonlyvisitedtenstoresintwocities,don’trefertoan“extensivestoresurvey.”Firsthandobservationsleadtobetterreports.Getoutoftheofficeandseefor

yourselfwhat’sgoingon.Afieldtripoftengivesyoumorerealisticanswersthananyamountofstatistics.Oritcanleadyoutotherightquestionstoask.Generalsgotothefronttogetafirsthandsenseoftheaction,becauseseeingthingsgivesthem a feeling for what’s going on, against which to judge the thousands offacelessfacts thatpour in to theirheadquartersbehindthelines.Field tripsarealso a source of ideas. Just as important, they supply the details that add thebreathoflifetoyourreports.Never trustyourmemorywhencollectingmaterial for a report.Writedown

everythingyouwanttoremember.

“Thehorrorof thatmoment,” theKingwenton,“Ishallnever,neverforget!”

“Youwill,though,”theQueensaid,“ifyoudon’tmakeamemorandumofit.”

—ALICE’SADVENTURESINWONDERLAND

4.Separateopinionfromfact

Bothareimportant;justmakecleartoyourreaderwhichiswhich.Likethe

little boy in a newspaper cartoonwho says to his father, “I asked you for thefactsoflife,butwhatyou’regivingmeisopinions.”Factsarefacts,regardlessofwhoisreportingthem:“It’stwenty-fourdegrees

and the wind is from the northwest at fifteen miles an hour.” opinions varydependingontheobserver:“It’sapleasantwinterday—briskandbracing.”Youshouldneverleaveyourreaderindoubtastowhatisopinionandwhatis

fact.Opinionstatedasfact OpinionstatedasopinionTheinformationwouldbeuseful,butcoststoomuchtoobtain.

We’dallliketolayourhandsonthatinformation,butnoneofusthinksit’sworthwhatitwouldcost.

Wecan’tgetstartedbyMay1. TogetstartedbyMay1,Isuspectwe’llhavetogoheavilyintoovertime.Thewayyoudeployyourfactscangiveweighttoyouropinion.Includethe

principal facts necessary to support your views. Face up to those that weighagainst you. But don’t throw in unnecessary or irrelevant details just to showyou’vedoneyourhomework.Factsarefacts.conclusionsandrecommendationsarealwaysopinion.Howyouchoosefacts,andhowyoumarshalthem,maywellreflectthepoint

ofviewthatyou’readvocating.Youcan,andshould,interpretthefacts.Butyourreportwill standupbetter,especiallyshould itcomeunder fire, ifyoumakeaconscious effort not to lump your facts and your opinions into a singleundifferentiatedpile.

ReadableAnnualReports

Public companiesof all sizes are required topublish their annual financial

results and comment upon them to their owners, the shareholders. Likewise,schoolsandhospitalsandothernonprofit institutions,whichonceayearmaketheircasetotheircommunitiesandsupporters.Whilesomeusethisopportunitywell, a large number fail to think clearly about either the audience or themessageandpublishareportthatismoredesignthansubstance.Manyofthemmodeltheirstyleontheworsthabitsofbadbusinesswriting.Fulladviceonannualreportsisbeyondourscopehere,butwewouldliketo

showhowtheycanbedown-to-earth—andreadable.The audience for the prose part of the annual report, as opposed to the

financials,isseldomthesophisticatedinvestororthefinancialcommunity.Oftenusedasageneralpurposecorporatebrochure(“agoodmerchandisingtool”),theannual report is an opportunity for the chief executive to report on theorganization’sperformance,itsstrategy,anditspotential.In recent years, two of the largest and best-established companies in the

world, IBM and General Electric, have both used their reports to positionthemselvesaspossessingthevigorofvibrantstartupcompanies.IBMisworkingtochangeitshistoricperceptionfromconservativeandstuffy

(“BigBlue”)tofreshandexciting(“NewBlue”).The1998Reportdoesn’tsay“IBM”or“1998”onthecover—theonlywordsare“Startup,”followedbythisfromCEOLouGerstner.

Whatmakes1999different…isthatahistoricshift—somethingIBMbegan talking about three years ago— is taking hold, and it’s reshapingeverything: how we work, how we shop, how we interact with ourgovernments, how we learn, what we do at home. Every day it becomesmorecertainthat theInternetwill takeitsplacealongsidetheothergreattransformationaltechnologiesthatfirstchallenged,andthenfundamentallychanged,thewaythingsaredoneintheworld.

JackWelch described the kind of company hewantedGeneral Electric to

become,inaGEannualreportseveralyearsago.

WewantGE tobecomea companywherepeople come towork everydayinarushtotrysomethingtheywokeupthinkingaboutthenightbefore.Wewant themtogohome fromworkwanting to talkaboutwhat theydidthatday,ratherthantryingtoforgetaboutit.Wewantfactorieswherethewhistle blows and everyone wonders where the time went, and someonesuddenlywondersaloudwhyweneedawhistle.Wewantacompanywherepeoplefindabetterway,everyday,ofdoingthings;andwherebyshapingtheirownworkexperience,theymaketheirlivesbetterandyourcompanybest.Farfetched?Fuzzy?Soft?Naive?Notabit.Thisisthetypeofliberated,

involved,excited,boundary-lessculturethatispresentinsuccessfulstartupenterprises.It isunheardof inaninstitutionoursize;butwewantit,andwearedeterminedwewillhaveit.

WelikewhatWelchsays,andweespeciallyadmiretheplainwayhesaysit.TheEconomist nowmatter-of-factly refers toGeneral Electric as “theworld’smostadmiredcompany.”ThefounderofanAustralianadvertisingagency,JohnSingleton,had this to

sayinanannualreportcommentingontheacquisitionofhiscompanybyOgilvy&Mather:

Well,I’veneverbeensohappytoadmitIwaswrong.JustasIwas100%sureweneededaninternationalpartnertobothgrow

the business and give our young staff greater opportunity I also knew itwouldcomeatashort-termcost.Iknewthatamergerofthismagnitudeacrosssomanycommunications

disciplines would inevitably disrupt clients, staff and inevitably result inshort-termset-backsforthegreaterlong-termgood.Iwas100%wrongonallcounts…

Suchcandorisrefreshing—andagreeabletoread.A major trend changing annual reports is “plain language” reporting of

financial data. Much of the impetus comes from a Securities and ExchangeCommissiondirectivetomutualfunds,alreadyshowingresults:

Before

Allof the fundsoffered in thisProspectus seekcapitalgrowthbyinvesting in securities, primarily common stocks, that meet certainfundamentalandtechnicalstandardsofselection(relatingprimarilytoearnings and revenue acceleration) and have, in the opinion of thefundmanager,better-than-averagepotentialforappreciation.

After

Thefundmanagerslookforstocksofcompaniesthattheybelievewill increase in value over time, using a growth investment strategydevelopedbyAmericanCentury.

WarrenBuffett,ChairmanofBerkshireHathaway,haslongproducedreports

admiredfortheirliterateinsightsaswellasforthefinancialresultstheydisclose.Buffetttakesthetroubletomakethenumbersreadable,provinginpassingthatthereisnoconflictbetweenintelligibilityandsuccess.Hereisaselectionfromhisprefacetothecommission’sPlainEnglishHandbook.

There are several possible explanations as to why I and otherssometimes stumble over an accounting note or indenture description.Maybe we simply don’t have the technical knowledge to grasp what thewriterwishestoconvey.Perhapsthewriterdoesn’tunderstandwhatheorshe is talking about. In some cases,moreover, I suspect that a less-than-scrupulous issuer doesn’twant us to understand a subject it feels legallyobligatedtotouchupon.Perhaps themost commonproblem, however, is that awell-intentioned

andinformedwritersimplyfailstogetthemessageacrosstoanintelligent,interestedreader.Inthatcase,stiltedjargonandcomplexconstructionsareusuallythevillains.

Buffettconcludeswiththisusefultip:

Write with a specific person in mind. When writing BerkshireHathaway’sannualreport,IpretendthatI’mtalkingtomysisters.Ihavenotrouble picturing them: Though highly intelligent, they are not experts inaccountingorfinance.TheywillunderstandplainEnglishbutjargonmaypuzzle them.Mygoal issimply togive themthe informationIwouldwishthemtosupplymeifourpositionswerereversed.Tosucceed,Idon’tneedtobeShakespeare;Imust,though,haveasinceredesiretoinform.Nosiblingstowriteto?Borrowmine:Justbeginwith“DearDorisand

Bertie.”Wheneventhenumbersareeasytoreadanddigest,wewillreallyhavemade

progress.BUSINESSPLANSFORNEWVENTURESFirst comes the idea, thencomes themoney.Before themoney, there’s

the business plan. For the entrepreneur, it’s a one-time thing. For anypotential investor, there are many ideas and opportunities — and manyplans.The profusion of possibilities is illustrated in a note by Professor Bill

Sahlman for his course at theHarvardBusinessSchool.He describes his“ever growing stack of Internet based business plans, each proposing to‘revolutionize’ an industry, each ‘conservatively’ projecting at least $50million in revenueswithin five years based on amodestmarket share ofunder 10%, and each containing a projection of likely investor returns ofover100%perannum.”Everynewventurehas a “story,” the term replacing“businessplan” in

some circles. Why should the investor believe your story?PricewaterhouseCooperssaysthebusinessplan“mustconveytothereaderthatthecompanyandproducttrulyfillanunmetneedinthemarketplace,”andliststhebusinessissuestobeaddressed.First,gettothepoint,anddon’tbelong-winded.Startwithanexecutive

summary, tomake thecasequickly.Credibility is crucial— itpays tobecandid;it’sgoodtounderstateratherthanexaggerate;it’svitaltobeclear.ProfessorMurrayLowatColumbiaBusinessSchool identifies two top

priorities:

Whoarethepeople?“I’dratherinvestinanAteamwithaBideathantheotherwayaround.”

Is there a real customer? “Markets are abstractions. Theremustbecustomerswillingandabletopay.”

Healsopointsouttwoglaringweaknessesinmanyplans:

Mindlessoptimism,—likesayingallthatisneededisasmallpercentageof a largemarket. “That’s just hoping.Howwill thebusinessbebuilt?”

Sloppypresentation—liketypos,spellingmistakes,carelessgrammar. “Theyhaven’tput the time in tomake it right, so theplanwillnotberead.ThepeoplemaybeOKonvisionand thebigpicture,butyouhavetoquestiontheirexecution.”

Investorsseekconfidenceinagoodbusiness(andawell-writtenplan).

8RecommendationsandProposalsThatSellIdeas

Whether you are in business, government, or the not-for-profitworld, youwill have to sell your ideas in writing. In written recommendations tocommitteesorboardstotakesomeaction.Inwrittenproposalsforthefundingofgrants. However persuasive you are in person, you will be asked to put it inwriting.Thepurposeistopersuadesomebody—or,moreoften,anumberofpeople

—toapprovearecommendationorproposal,andagreetoputitintoaction.Butmany such documents leave their audience confused about what is beingproposed. Others are clear enough, but unpersuasive. Some are so poorly puttogetherthattheycastdoubtonthevalueoftheprojectorthecompetenceoftheproposer,andcanevenunsellafavorablydisposedaudience.Unlessyouareabletosellyourideas,youmightaswellnothavehadthem.

RecommendationsThatPersuade

Allorganizationsspendlotsoftimepreparingrecommendations,oftenwith

several options. Henry Kissinger used to say that State Department memoscommonly offer three options: the first leads to nuclear war, the second tounconditionalsurrender,andthethirdiswhattheywantyoutochoose.Togetthedecisionyouseek,keepinmindthatyouhavebeenlivingwiththe

subjectandyouraudiencehasnot,orat leastnotwith thesame intensity.Youhavetobringpeopleintoyoursubjectbeforeyoucanpersuadethem.Remembertoo that you are usually in competitionwith other recommendations for finiteresources.Youmustbemoreconvincingandmakeapersuasivecase.Herearesomeprinciplesformakingapersuasivecase:

1.Thinkofitasselling—notaspresenting

Just layingoutyourviewsisnotenough.Youmustmarshalbothlogicandpassionbehindyourfacts.Anticipateyouraudience’sreservationsandfacethemsquarely. Instill confidence that youhave thought hard about potential pitfalls,andarefullypreparedtoguidetheventurearoundthemsafelyandsuccessfully.Thatstartswiththetitle—whichshouldpromiseabenefit.Whyisthisworth

thereader’stimeandattention?

2.Tellpeoplewhereyouaregoing

Your first paragraph should establish both your subjectand its scope. The

strategy for Harry Truman’s successful campaign for the presidency in 1948,spelledoutinaforty-three-pagememo,startedwiththisparagraph:

TheaimofthismemorandumistooutlineacourseofpoliticalconductfortheAdministrationextendingfromNovember,1947,toNovember,1948.Thebasicpremiseofthismemorandum—thattheDemocraticPartyisanunhappyallianceofSouthernconservatives,WesternprogressivesandBigCitylabor—isverytrite,butitisalsoverytrue.Anditisequallytruethatthe success or failure of the Democratic leadership can be preciselymeasuredbyitsabilitytoleadenoughmembersofthesethreemisfitgroupstothepollsonthefirstTuesdayafterthefirstMondayofNovember,1948.

In pointingoutwhereyou’re going, it oftenhelps to remindpeoplewhere

you’recoming from.Persuasive recommendationsusually includeasectiononbackground — earlier decisions or familiar information into which thisrecommendationfits.If you have done an impressively thorough job in arriving at your

recommendation, it pays to spell that out in the background. To persuade theboardofmanagersoftheNewYorkBotanicalGardenthatitsrecommendationsweresoundlybased,amanagementconsultingfirmsummarizeditswiderangingactivities:

Reviews with the staff of major programs and functions; analysis offinancial records, interviews with Board members; visits to three otherbotanical gardens; comparison of the Board structure and fund-raisingactivitieswiththoseofothercomparableNewYorkinstitutions;preliminaryinterviews with foundations, corporations and government officials to

gaugetheoutlookforfuturefunding.

This background, demonstrating that no stone had been left unturned,preparedtheaudiencetorespondfavorablytothereport’sfindings,conclusions,andfar-reachingrecommendations.For long recommendations, it’s helpful to startwith an executive summary.

Includeallmainpoints,asentenceortwoforeach.Letthefulldocumentfillinthedetails.

3.Leadpeoplethroughwithheadings

Ithelpsyouraudiencetofollowyourtrainofthoughtifyoukeepitontrack

withbulletedornumberedheadings.Arecommendationtoadvertiseontelevisionheadedeachsectionclearly:

WHYTELEVISION?—It’sMediaSmart

ItProvidestheNeededExtraImpactItExtendsthePerson-to-PersonPrintCampaign

WHAT DID OUR RESEARCH SHOW?— Review of Objectives andMethodology

TelevisionFindings—BreakthroughQualitywasKeyTelevisionShiftedRespondents’PerceptionsTelevisionProvedUniqueAdvantagesoverPrint

WHATISOURCREATIVERECOMMENDATION?

TVGoals

Headingshelpputyourpointsinthecontextofyourtotalrecommendation.

4.Recommend—anddoitearly

This isa recommendation,nota storywitha surpriseending.Busypeopledon’twant toguesswhatyou’re leadingup to, soget to thepointquicklyandclearly.

Wepropose thatanewenvironmentalprogrambe launchedwithinsixmonths.

The committee recommends a new organizational structure tofocusmoreonclientsandmarkets.

Most recommendations involve a degree of pain— a new and expensive

investment,oradifficulttrade-off.Delayingthebadnewsisnotgoingtohelp.Getitupfront.Thenlayoutspecificreasonsinsupport.Therationaleforyourrecommendationistheheartofyourargument.Whatistheevidence?Ogilvy&Mather recommended an expensive campaign of large newspaper

adsconsistingmostlyoftext.Toforestallalikelyclientobjectionthat“nobodyreads longcopy inadvertisements,” the recommendationcitednumerouscasesof ads with hundreds, even thousands, of words that had produced terrificresults:

A single British Travel Authority advertisement with over athousandwords attracted 25,000 responses. BritRail, a primarycooperator,reported“itsbestsalesyeareverintheU.S.”

An all-type campaign for International Paper drew athousand letters a day commenting on the advertising orrequestingreprints.

ForCunard,anadvertisementwith26separateparagraphsofinformationpaidforitselffourtimesoverindirectsales.

Specificspersuade.But theymustberelevantandimpressive—everyone

ofthem.Achainofspecificsisnostrongerthanitsweakestlink;theweakonewill attract the attention of your critics in the audience (and distract yourfriends).It’swise toanticipatequestions thatare likely tobeasked.Butsometimesa

question that may seem devastating doesn’t really strike at the heart of thematter. In such cases, reframe the question. The question Ogilvy & Matheranticipatedwas“Doesanybodyreadlongcopy?”Therecommendationreframedit so that the replywould revealwhat thequestioneractuallyneeded toknow:

“Doeslongcopysell?”

5.Emphasizethebenefitsofyourrecommendation

Theremustbeapayoffinareasonabletimeifyourrecommendationistobe

accepted and acted on. A recommendation by a management consultantemphasizedthesegoals:

Toachieve sustainablecompetitiveadvantage incost, technology,andsystemsquality.

Toreachanappropriatereturnoninvestment.

Tomaintainthehighestlevelsofcustomersatisfaction.

Toimprovetheuseofkeypeople.The recommendationwent on to show how those objectiveswould bemet.

Never fail to answer the main question your audience is asking, howeversilently:“What’sinitforme?”

ProposalsThatWinGrants

Foundations and government agencies that grant money have an unhappy

dilemma: having to say “no” farmore often than they say “yes.”Muchmoremoney is asked for, and for deserving causes, than there is money to give.Whether you’re applying to a federal agency or making your case to afoundation,itispossibletostandoutfromthecrowd.Andtherewillbeacrowd.Talking about measurable program results (“outcomes,” as they’re termed),

shows professional expertise— andmakes your proposal stand out.Here aresomeotherprinciples:

1.Gettothepoint—fast

“Iknow theheadofamajor foundationwhosayshe’s tempted to tossout

anyproposalthatdoesn’ttellhimquickly—inthefirstparagraphorsecond—howmuchmoney is requested, andwhat it’s for,” saysoneprofessional fund-raiser.Noteveryfoundationheadisastoughasthatone,norshouldthedirectionto

tell it all in the first paragraph or two be taken literally. But the nearer thebeginningthebetter.

2.Showhowyourprojectmeetstheirneeds

Most funding sources have published the goals and criteria against which

they make their decisions. Your opening paragraph should show that youunderstand this— and how your project fits. Here is the first paragraph of aproposal from the National Organization on Disability to a foundation thatfocusesitsfundsonsupportingcommunityprograms:

The Community Partnership Program is N.O.D.’s flagship program,supportinganetworkof4,500communitiesaroundtheUnitedStates.Thisvoluntarynetworkbrings togethercitizenswithandwithoutdisabilities inmany significant community-building activities. It is our belief thatAmerican communities have the ingenuity and initiative to addressdisabilityissuesdirectlyatthegrassrootslevel.

Be realistic in what you hope to accomplish. Better to identify a single

specificproblemthatyoumightactuallysolvethantoappeartobetryingtocurealltheillsofsociety.Regardless of the outcome you promise, your own credibility is important.

Howlonghaveyoubeenaround?Whatisyourtrackrecord?It’snotenoughjusttoestablishtheimportanceofyourproject.Youmustpersuadeyourreaderthatyoucanmakeithappen.

3.Organizetopersuade

Manyproposalsmakelifeeasierforthedecisionmaker—theyareeasyto

turn down because their authors don’t organize their material persuasively.Typicallythereareaseriesofpoints,oftennumberedtogivetheappearanceofstructure.But theproposal doesn’t relate thepoints toone anotheror fit themtogether to make a case. Claims are not supported by evidence. Facts, whileimpressiveinthemselves,don’tbearontheargument.Organizing material to make a persuasive case calls for logic, rigor, and

discipline. It is often the hardest part of writing, and bedevils every writerengagedinadvocacyofanykind.Manyofthechangesfromdrafttodraftofthisbookresulted fromastruggle toconnectexamplesprecisely to thepoints theyillustrate.Wehadtoforceourselvestothrowoutalotofgoodwritingthatwasnotquiterelevant.Everythingrelevant,nothingextraneous—thatshouldbeyourgoalinwriting

your proposal. To the extent you succeed, your proposal will rise above yourcompetitors’forthatalltoolimitedpotofmoney.

4.Makeiturgent

Thethoughtthatmustbecommunicatedisthattheprojectmightnothappen

ifthereisnofunding.“Youcanmakethedifference,”isonewaytogeta“yes.”The introduction of a proposal by the National Academy Foundation

identified the urgent need for an educated workforce to participate in theadvancementoftheU.S.economyinanincreasinglyglobalmarketplace.

A review of recent educational findings reveals that we are far fromdeveloping such a workforce or even one on parity with that of otherindustrializednations.Forexample,wefindthatAmericanschoolchildrenare typically found at the bottom of international comparisons ofmathematics and science, and the majority of students seeking Ph.D.degrees in mathematics and engineering from American universities arefromforeigncountries.

For continuing programs, it is important to present a plan that will assure

some kind of continuing support after the grant runs out — so the programdoesn’tdie.

5.Improveyourproduct

While awell-written proposal is important,what really counts is a strong,

viableprogram.Applicantsforgrantsareofferingusanopportunity,saysKarenRosaoftheAltmanFoundation.“Wewanttoknowwhotheyare,whattheydo,andforrenewalrequests,didtheydowhattheysaidtheywoulddo.”A proposal from the Brooklyn Youth Chorus gets high marks because it

describesacarefullyconstructedprogramandcapturestheessenceofthechorusthroughimpressivestatisticsandheartwarmingphotosofthekids.Thecoveringletter radiates accomplishment, then quickly moves on to spell out how thissuccessfulgroupisworkinghardatgettingbetterandbetter.

TheRussiantourwasanabsolutelygreatexperiencefortheChoristersand we are now starting our season with a wealth of scheduledappearances. I am particularly excited about our October 17th CarnegieHall collaboration with the Montreal Symphony, conducted by CharlesDutoit. The Brooklyn Youth Chorus Festival 2000 is shaping up to be agreateventaswell.The Chorus continued to grow in many ways during FY 1999. We

completed our strategic plan, increased enrollment, hired a Children’sVoice Specialist and anAssociateConductor, started individualized vocalandinstrumentalinstruction,andopenedanewSaturdaychorusdivision.During thecomingyearwewillcontinue toexpandenrollment, initiate

thenewIntermediateChorus,presentourFestival,supportotherchorusesthrough our new Partnership program, and conduct a new series ofteacher-trainingworkshops.

How important is the quality of the writing? Very important, says Rosa,

particularly in applications from educational programs. “Proposals filled withspellingandgrammaticalmistakesdrivemecrazy.Howsecurecanwefeelaboutyour ability to teach kids if you can’t spell?” But, she concludes, more timeshouldbespentimprovingtheproductthanimprovingtheproposal.

6.Itneednotbedull

A successful proposal, by the South-NorthNews Service, to fund aworld

affairsnewspaperand teachers’guide forU.S. secondaryschools,openedwithanarrestingimage.

Oh,tobe14yearsold.TherigidantagonismsoftheColdWararecrumbling.Thewhitepower

structureofsouthernAfricaiscomingfacetofacewithreality.Butsurveyaftersurveyshowsusthatneitherthe14-year-oldsnortheir

teacherscanfindVietnamorBrazilonamap,ortellthedifferencebetweenTelAvivandCairo,orlabeltheIndianOceanorAntarctica.

Put colorful detail in your proposal, like this successful one by the Hood

Museum at Dartmouth College for a major exhibition, “The Age of theMarvelous.”

During the16thand17th centuries,EuropeanculturewasmarkedbyanintensefascinationwiththeMarvelous,andthosethingsorevents thatwereunusual,unexpected,exotic,extraordinaryorrare.

Thefirstrequirementistogetread.

9AskingforMoney:SalesandFund-RaisingLetters

Grumble all you want at the volume of your mail at home, made up ofcatalogs,brochures,or lettersaskingformoneyforsomeproductorserviceorcharity. It’sunlikely toabate, as longas there’sevidence thatdirectmarketingworks.Peopledorespond—totherightappeal.Theremarkablegrowthofdirectmailwastriggeredbysophisticatedcomputer

models, improved targeting of mailing lists, credit cards, 800 numbers, pluschanges in lifestylesandshoppinghabits.NowtheInternet isspawninge-mailpitches (some unsolicited, some requested by customers) which are faster,cheaper,andoftengetbetterresponsethanpostalmail.Directmailonsteroids,assomedescribeit.Whilechanges in technologyhavebeena largepartof this revolution,what

hasn’tchangediswhattosaytopeople(orhowtosayit)togetthemtorespondandsendmoney.Studiesshowthatmanysuccessfulmailingsusetechniquesthathavebeenaroundsincethe1930s—thesamebasicelements(letter,brochure,replycard),thesamekindofoffer(somethingfornothing,oradiscount),abill-me option, long letters even to busy people who supposedly have no time toread.Theprinciplesgobackevenfurther—totheGrandBazaarinancientTurkey,

suggests British directmarketing guruDraytonBird. He draws an analogy tocontemporarymedia:

WhyaresomanybigadvertisersfiringblanksontheInternet?Becausethey think it’s anadvertisingmedium. It isn’t. It’s amarketing channel; adirectmarketingmedium.AllInternettransactionsaredirect.

LiketheTurkishBazaar(“theydon’tjustshow,theysell”),directmarketing

isaretailmedium.Andnearlyeverytechniquedirectmarketersuse,saysBird,worksaswellorbetterontheInternet.

Itpaystotest

Whole books have been written about sales letters and fund-raising letters,

identifying dozens of principles employed by the pros. There is only one thatyoucanneverignore:test.Manyofthethingsyouthinkyouknow,like“Nobodywillreadanythingthat

long,” often go out thewindowwhen you test. Emotional appeals that you’resurewillpull responses,oftendon’t. Ifyouhavesomething that’sworking,becareful about changing any elementwithout testing.What turns out to be thecrucialelementsometimessurprisesevenexperiencedpros.Some organizations fly by the seat of their pants and don’t know what is

workingandwhatisn’t.Theyseldomgetfullvaluefromtheirefforts.Theydon’ttakeadvantageoftheaccountabilityofdirectmarketing.The reader responds directly to the writer or organization; you count the

moneythatcomesinandyouknowhowyou’vedone.Itiscommontofindthatone mailing will produce many times the response of another for the sameproduct.Itpaystotestifyouplantomailtoasubstantialnumberofpeople,orifyouplantomailmorethanonce.Testingisnotjustforlargeorganizations.Youwillfindtechniquesforsimple

low-cost tests inmanybooksondirectmarketing (we suggestone in the finalchapter). Ifyoucannot test, takeadvantageof the testingofothers.Whenyoureceivethesamemailingoverandover,yearafteryear,youcanbereasonablysureithasbeenprovenintesting.Studyit.Don’tassumeanything.Andpreparetobesurprised.Certainmonths(oreven

certain weeks or days) are more productive than others. Sometimes a higherpricewillproducemore response thana lowerone.Peoplewill respondagainand again to the samemailing— don’t change for the sake of change. Longlettersoftenpullbetterthanshortones.Important— test only one change at a time. If you test several, youwon’t

knowwhichhelped(orhowmuch).

The“truevalue”concept

Theresultsyougetfromtestingleadtoanotherprinciple:Estimatehowmuch

acustomerisworth.Ifyouexpectpeopletosendmoneyjustonce,thecalculationiseasy.Willyou

get back enoughmoney to cover the cost of themailing plus the cost of themerchandise—andleaveyouwithaprofit?Ifyes,goahead.Ifno,startover.Mostdirectmailisinadifferentcategory—itgoestopeoplewhomaybuy

morethanonce:

Customerswhoserepeatordersyoucanreasonablyexpect—or whose satisfaction with one of your products might promptthemtobuyanother.

Subscribers — to magazines, book clubs, record clubs, artclubs—whowellmightrenewtheirsubscriptionsorsendinneworders.

Contributors to schools or hospitals or any local charity orcause,whomightwellgiveagaininfutureyears.

Forthiskindofrespondent,youcaninvestheavilyinyourinitialmailing—

even if it losesmoney the first timearound, as it oftendoes.This is the “truevalue”concept—whatacustomerisworthovertime.

TheNewYorkRedCross found that itpaid to send first-timegiversafreefirst-aidmanualtoconvertthemtodonors—whowerefoundtogiveinfourofthefollowingsevenyears,andincreasedtheirdonations20percent.

Todecidehowmuchtoinvestineachpotentialcustomer,youmustknowhow

mucheachcustomerisultimatelyworth.Oftenyou’llhavetoestimateandmakesomeassumptions.Whilenotanexactscience,itissimplearithmetic.

WhatWorksBestinSalesLetters

Directmailspecialistscancitemanyprinciplesastowhatworksbestinsalesletters.Twoofthoseprinciplesinvariablycomefirst.

Makesuretheofferisright

Theprofessionaldirectmailwriterworksfirstonthecoupon,nottheletter.

Whatistheoffer?Howshoulditbestated?Whataretheterms?Theoffer iswhatgets theaction—especiallywhenproductdifferencesare

small or short-lived. Over the years, mailers have offered reduced prices,premiums,chartersubscriptions,free-trialoffers,oracombinationofthese.

Airlinemileageisthecurrencyofmanycurrentoffers.Itisaccumulatedbymillionsoftravelers,whoseeitashavinghighvalue.Discountbrokersused to compete on price, but price wars in the category have ended.“Open an E*TRADE account,” says a mailing from the on-line broker,“andearnasign-upbonusofupto10,000MileagePlusmiles.”

Youmaywellbeamazedhowsomethingfree,howeversmall,canaddtothe

powerofasalesletter.Afreefirstcopy,afreemembershipcertificate,afreepin,free trials. Even a simple pamphlet, perhaps one you’ve already printed foranotherpurpose,canbeaneffectivefreeoffer—andacheapone.Smallchangesinanoffer,oreveninthewaytheofferispresented,canmake

animmensedifferenceinresponse.Ifyoutestnothingelse,testyouroffer.“Star bursts, underlining, the ‘P.S.’ — those don’t affect the results that

much,”saysHowardDraft,chairmanofDraftWorldwide.“Ifyoucomeupwiththebigidea,thebigoffer,that’swhatdrivesbusiness.”

Startfast—inthefirstsentence

Eventhemostaccomplishedwritersstruggletogettheirfirstsentencesright.

E.B.Whitewasn’tsatisfiedwithhisfirstdraftofCharlotte’sWeb,especiallytheopening,andworkedonitformorethanayear.HetriedleadingoffwithWilburthe pig, Charlotte the spider, and Zuckerman’s barn before deciding on thisrivetingfirstsentence:

“Where’sPapagoingwith that ax?” saidFern to hermotheras theyweresettingthetableforbreakfast.

Writersofdirectmaildon’thaveayeartoponderandrevise,buttheydotake

painsover theiropenings.Muchdirectmail is readoverawastebasket—youhave to get to the point quickly.Here’s howone letter actually started.Guesswhatthisletterisselling(hardifnotimpossible)andwhat’slikelytohappentoit(easy).

DearFriend:

I receive,asnodoubtdoyou,a fairnumberof lettersasking forattention and not least for money. All, as I’ve often said, tell me atundue length what I already know or do not need to know. Thewonderful computer errors of the Republican National Committeeapart, I try toreadandrespondasappropriate.Nonetheless, Iyearnforbrevity.Notdoubtingthatyousharethisyearning,Iwillbebrief.

Compare that to the opening of this letter,which ran for years and in test

aftertestbeatallalternatives:

Quitefrankly,theAmericanExpressCardisnotforeveryone.AndnoteveryonewhoappliesforCardmembershipisapproved.

Whattheprosdo

Herearesomeotherpracticesfollowedbydirectmailprofessionals:

1.Getpeopletoopentheenvelope

Alwayssaysomethingonyourenvelope;itiswhatyourprospectsseefirst.

Tease them. Hint at your offer. Tell them about a gift inside — or promisevaluableinformation.

ADVANCENOTICE

PLEASEOPENATONCE:DATEDMATERIALSINSIDE

WEHAVEAFREEGIFTFORYOU

RECEIVEFOURISSUESFREE

7.8%INTERESTONANDON(Notanintroductoryoffer)

2.Findtheaudience,thenthemessage

A sales letter is an advertisement delivered in the mail. Successful

advertisingstartswithapersuasivestrategy;strategiesstartnotwithwhattosay,buttowhom—thetarget.It’sonlyhumantotrytoappealtoeverybody.Aradiocommercial began, “Hey there,men!And that includes you girls.”Resist thattemptation.

Trytoformarealisticpictureofyourprospects—ageandincome,lifestyleandattitudes, theproducts theyuse.Thendetermine thesinglemost importantbenefityourproductorserviceoffers.Mosthaveseveralbenefits,butonemustbemoreimportanttoyourprospectsthantheothers.Theessenceofasuccessfulstrategyissacrifice;playdownlesserbenefitstoconcentrateontheonewiththemostsalespower.

3.Favorlonglettersovershortones

Mostamateursassumepeoplewon’treadmorethanapageortwoatmost.

Thefactisthatlonglettersgenerallypullbetterthanshortones—ifyou:

Grabthereader’sattentionatthebeginningLoadtheletterwithrelevantfactsHaveanattractiveoffer

Look at themailings you receive. Howmany are just one page, and how

manyareseveralpageslong—andincludeseveralpiecesofliterature?Oneofthelargestandmostsuccessfuldirectmarketingcompanies,Publishers

ClearingHouse,sendsapackagethatincludessixenclosuresplusaletteralmostathousandwordslong.Youareaskingyourreaderstomakeaninvestment—intime, money, or both— and must convince them that what you’re selling isworthit.

4.Makeitinvitingtoread

Peoplewon’treadlettersthatlookformidable,withlongblocksoftext.

Usevisualdevices— like this inset paragraph— tomake your letterlook inviting and interesting, and easy to get through. Headings (like“Makeitinvitingtoread”above)andhandwrittennotesalsowork.

Think beyond standard envelopes and standard sizes of paper. The most

effectivemail is often an unusual size, shape, or color.But keep inmind that

lettersshouldlooklikeletters,notlikeadvertisements.Couponsshouldlooklikecoupons(ormoney),certificateslikecollegediplomasorhigh-gradebonds.Couponsandcertificatesareconventionsthatreadersunderstandataglance.

Makingthemlooklikesomethingelse,tobedifferent,defeatstheirpurpose.

5.Don’tletthereaderoffthehook

Peopleprocrastinate.Youmustcreateareasonforyourprospecttoactnow.DannyNewman,America’smostsuccessfulsellerofsubscriptionstoconcert

and theatrical seasons, builds all his mailings from a single injunction:SUBSCRIBENOW.TheP.S.isoneofthebest-readpartsofanyletter.Useittoremindthereader

ofsomeimportantdetail,torestateyouroffer,tocreateasenseofurgencywithadeadlineoraspecialpremium.Amazon.com introduceditsnewon-lineauctionserviceinaletterwiththisclosingnote:

P.S. We’ve worked hard for many months to bring you Amazon.comAuctionsandwe’resuper-proudofit.AsanAmazon.comcustomer,you’repre-registeredforbothbuyingandselling.I thinkyou’llbesurprisedhoweasyitistouse.Forashorttime,we’realsodoingapromotionwherefirst-time buyers receive a $10 Amazon.com gift certificate. Please come andgiveitalookatwww.amazon.com—justclicktheAuctionstab.

P.S.EveniftheP.S.doesn’taffectresults“thatmuch,”asmalleffectcanbe

worthwhile.AndtheP.S.doesn’taddapennytothecostofyourmailing.

WhatWorksBestinFund-RaisingLetters

Intheworldofpoliticalfund-raisingbymail,twoacknowledgedmastersare

Richard Viguerie and Roger Craver, a conservative and a liberal. CraverdisagreeswithViguerieoneveryissue,observestheNewYorkTimes,“exceptonhowtowritealetter.”“Youneedaletterfilledwithideasandpassion,”saysCraver.“Itdoesnotbeat

aroundthebush,itisnotacademic,itisnotobjective.Thetoughestthingistoget theenvelopeopen.Thenext toughest thing is toget theperson to read the

letter.”ACraverletterforhandguncontrolcarriedthismessageontheenvelope:

ENCLOSED:YourfirstchancetotelltheNationalRifleAssociationtogotohell!

Theletterstarts:

DearPotentialHandgunVictimTo raise money for charitable, educational, or political causes, you must

appeal to the emotions. People can have strong feelings about the causesrepresentedbyacommunityfund,aboutapoliticalcandidate,aboutareligiousinstitution.Theywant togive.Yet thosenew to fund-raisingareoftenhesitantaboutaskingformoney.Peoplewhohavegivenpreviouslyarethebestsourceoffunds.Manystudies

have shown that most first-year donors will renew in year two, and an evenlargerpercentofretaineddonorsfromyeartwowillreneweachsubsequentyear.Often those donors will increase their gifts. Theymay participate in deferredgiving programs. They will even help acquire new donors by working asvolunteers.These facts are at the heart of direct mail fund-raising. They lead to two

centralconclusions:

Itpaystoinvesttogetnewdonors.Itpaystoinvestinbuildingarelationship.

Thestakesareclear.Nonprofitorganizationsdepend increasinglyonprivate

support for their survival, and direct mail is a crucial source of funds forcharitableinstitutions.

1.Saythanks,thenplease

Donors arebelievers, andbelieversgive.Youcango to themon a regular

schedule or in emergencies.Write to them regularly, and keep them informedabout the organization and its activities.Make themmembers, not just givers.Sendmembershipcertificatesandpins.Then,whenitcomestimetorenewtheir

support,theyneedonlyaninexpensiveremindertoprompttheirgenerosityandloyalty.Heretoo,freegifts,eventokenones,addtotheeffectivenessofyourmailing.Writetosaythanks.Thanks,andwon’tyougiveagain?Asuccessfulfund-raisingletterfromthegeneraldirectoroftheLyricOperaof

Chicago began by thanking donors for all they had done for the company theprevious year. The first paragraph ended, “I just wanted to be sure to say‘Thanks’beforeIsay‘Please.’”

2.Telltheprospecthowmuchmoneyyouwant

Thereaderdoesnotknowhowmuchmoneyyouexpect.Suggestingthesize

ofthecontributionisuptoyou.Upward Inc., an after-school program in New York, made this successful

appeal:

Here’saholidaygift idea—howaboutgivingacomputer toakid inHarlem (for about $800)? Upward Inc. needs a few people like you torebuilditscomputercenterinordertoput innercitychildrenontheir lifepath“upward.”

Atthesametime,youdon’twanttodiscouragesmallergifts.TheUpwardInc.

letterwent on to suggest at least contributing something toward thepriceof acomputermonitorat$300.It can be effective to tell readers what different services cost, so they can

select a giving level. Another letter from Lyric Opera gives this approach astylishtwistinanotetoSantaClaus:

DearSanta:

It would be lovely if you could leave an $8million check inmystockingthisyear—butIknowthat’sabitmuchtoask.Soletmelistsomeofthethingswereallydoneed,thatmaybeyoucanhelpuswith.

Children’sBackstageTour($7,500)SeniorCitizens’Matinee($15,000)AirfaretobringartistsfromNewYork($325each)

Balletshoes($75each)Wigsandmake-upforthechorusofMefistofele($5,500)LeavestoredecoratethetreeinElixirofLove($550)Rentalofkeyboardforsoundeffects($3,607)YouthEducationprograms($15,000)

If I listed everything Lyric needs, or needsmoney to fund, this letter

would go on for pages — so I’ve selected only a few items that areespeciallyonmymindastheholidaysapproach.

3.Putyourappealinpersonalterms

Peoplewould rathergive tootherpeople than to faceless institutions.Alan

Reich founded and runs the National Organization on Disability from hiswheelchair.Hewritestoafriend:

The last time we were together, we spoke about a project of greatimportance to people with disabilities. It is the addition of a statue ofPresident Roosevelt in his wheelchair at the FDR Memorial. Congresspassedlegislationmandatingthatthestatuebeadded.Italsorequiresthatthe$1.65millionberaisedintheprivatesector,andN.O.D.hastakenonthischallenge.I am writing to request your help, because I regard you and FDR as

kindredspirits,atleastintriumphingoverdisability.Your letter should tell readerswhat’s going on, thework your institution is

doing,andwhyitisimportant.Tellthemaboutthethingsyoucan’tdo—unlesstheygive.Don’tletthemassumethedrivewillbesuccessfulwhetherornottheygive.Thisaddsurgencytoyourappeal.

Unlesswehear fromyourightaway,wemaybe forced toclosedowntwoMorganMemorialbuildings.

WestminsterAbbey is fallingdown.If thisdoesn’tmoveyou,readnofurther.

Don’t forget to tell people how little you spend on administration.Assure

themthatyoumeanitwhenyousaynocontributionistoosmall,evenadollar.

Nobody likes a mailbox full of junkmail. However, one person’s junk is

another’s passion. Susan cannot get enough garden catalogs, George enoughcookbooks.Junkmailismailthatisinappropriate—becauseitistalkingtothewrongperson,talkingatthewrongtime,ortalkinginthewrongtone.Directmail was once “pretty intrusive,” acknowledgesHowardDraft. “But

nowwe’retryingtounderstandwhatacustomer’sneedsareandhowtocreateaninvitationalapproach.”Peoplereaddirectmailandtheyactonit—iftheproductorserviceorcause

issomethingtheywantorbelievein,andiftheytrustthemailer.Thesinglemostimportantthingyoucandotosendmoneythroughthemailistoconvincepeoplethattheycantrustyou.Never exaggerate, either inwordorpicture,whatyouareoffering,orwhen

youwilldeliver,oranyotherdetail. If, for someunforeseen reason,youcan’tliveuptoapromise,sendapostcardsayingso;apologize;andsaywhatyou’regoingtodoaboutit.Thetrustyoubuildwillbewellworththeextracost.

10CopingwithPoliticalCorrectness

“…Ibelieveincourtesy,theritualbywhichweavoidhurtingotherpeople’sfeelingsbysatisfyingouregos.”SosaysKennethClarkintheconclusionofhisclassicbookCivilization,revealinghimself“inmytruecolors,asastick-in-the-mud.”Asimilarold-fashioned respect for the feelingsofothershasballooned into

whatiscalled,oftenscornfully,“politicalcorrectness”inspeechandwriting.Itisall tooeasy,however,toridiculethepoliticallycorrectlanguagepolice,everon guard against any word or expression that might possibly offend anybodyanywhere.Thesuggestion,forexample,thatAllTheKing’sMen,deemeddoublysexistwith“king”and“men,”shouldberetroactivelyretitledAlltheMonarch’sPeople,deservesthehootsandhollersitarouses.Andabitlaterwewillunloadafewhootsandhollersourselves.Nonethelesswe respect theunderlying impulseof politically correctwriting

andcommendittoyou.Itarisesfromsensitivitytothefeelingsofreaders.Youwouldbewisetobealerttothepowerofwordstodistressandinfuriatepeople,andtodoyourbestnottowieldthatpowerrecklessly.Asacountrysongputsit,“sticksandstonescanbreakmybones,butwordscanbreakmyheart.”BernardShawdefinedagentlemanassomebodywho“neverinsultsaperson

unintentionally.” Inbusinesswritingwe try tobegentlemen in just that sense.Wemakeaconsciouseffortnottoinsultpeople—noroffend,norupsetthem—unwittinglyandbyaccident.Itisgoodbusinessaswellasgoodmanners.Whyrileupyourcustomeroryourclientoryourprospect?Fromtimeto time,foronereasonoranother,youmayhavereason tousea

wordoranexpressionwhichyouknowwillrubsomebodywrong.Whenyoudoso,youshouldbepreparedtofacetheconsequenceswithyoureyeswideopen.

Sensitive—butnothypersensitive

Gender,race,ethnicorigin,age,andsexualpreferencearewheremostofthe

sensitivitiesreside.Ourpolicyistobesensitivebutnothypersensitive.

Minority groups often have strong feelings about the terms used to refer tothem,and theirpreferencescanchangeover theyears. “Negro”was thepoliteterm for decades. After it was replaced by “black” and “African American,”Negrobecameatargetofderisionamongblackcomedians.Ifpreferencesshouldchangeagain,sowhat?Usewhateverhappenstobethecurrentpreferenceofthegroup in question— and take the trouble to find outwhat that is.Minoritiessuffer enough without being labeled with terms they regard as offensive,regardlessofwhatthewritermaythinkoftheirpreferencesortheirreasons.You should not, however, feel obliged to scrutinize in depth everyword in

your vocabulary for possible derogatory connotations. Some years ago theMulticultural Management Program at the University of Missouri School ofJournalismpublishedachecklistofwordsthatjournalistsshouldbewaryof.Thefifteen-pagelistcontainedovertwohundredentries,including:

FriedchickenBurlyBuxomWarpathGypMatronlyDutchtreatIllegalalienShiftlessElderlyCrippledFeminineGhettoJocks

Commentingonthis“badworddictionary,”thelatecolumnistMikeRoykowrote that “the age of super-sensitivity is crushing me.” By the end of hiscolumn,though,Roykohadbecomeuncrushedenoughtoassertthat“whenIputtogether a softball team, I’ll recruit real jocks, not a bunch of wimps, nerds,dweebsorweenies”and“I’llcontinuetogohaveDutch-treat luncheswithmyfriendsandcheckthebilltomakesurethewaiterdidn’tgypme.”Perhaps the most remarkable entry on the list is “without rhythm,”

objectionable,thejournalismschool’scompilersexplain,as“astereotypeaboutwhites.Impliesthatothershaverhythm,alsoastereotype.”Inaneditorialbemoaningtheproliferationofoffendedgroups,theWallStreet

Journal said: “Today, alas, we have created whole classes of the perpetuallyaggrieved, built on thenotion that if someone takesoffense, then an imageornameisipsofactooffensive.”WhatisonetomakeofthesadcaseoftheaidetothemayorofWashington,

D.C., who lost his job because, discussing budget matters, he used the word“niggardly”?Heuseditinitscorrectmeaning—miserly,stingy—whichbearsnoconnection,eitherincommonusageorlexicography,totheoffensivetermforAfrican Americans that it resembles. Nonetheless he was misunderstood. Heregardedhisown failure toanticipate themisunderstanding, and thedistress itcaused, as awful enough to require him to resign. The mayor agreed, andaccepted his resignation. Such an event brings into pointed opposition thestandardsofpoliticalcorrectnessandthoseoffreedomofspeech.“Can speech ever be both correct and free?” asks the headline of a recent

articleinthe“EthicsToday”columnoftheFinancialTimes.“Thelineweseektodrawiselusive,”writes thecolumnist,JoeRogaly.Weshould“debarpublicuseoflanguagethatfomentsantipathytowardsothers,but…shouldalsoalloweveryonetospeakhisorhermind.Itisoneofthosethingsnoneofuswillevergetquiteright.Whenindoubt,Isayfavourfreespeech.”InprincipleweagreewithRogalyandcomedownonthesideoffreespeech.

We admirewriters, editors, and public figureswho keep their eye on the firstamendmenttotheU.S.Constitution,andwedeplorethepreposterousfateoftheliteratebureaucratwhospokerightlybutnotfreelywith“niggardly.”Inbusinesswriting, however,wewouldmoveRogaly’s “elusive line” a few inches in thedirectionofwhat’spurelypractical,encouragingyoutoplacealotofemphasisontheprobableconsequencesofyourchoiceofwords.Ifyouknowthatwriting“niggardly” is likely to be misunderstood and to cause anger or pain, what’swrongwithwriting“stingy”instead?Inotherchaptersyouwillfindlistsofdo’sanddon’ts,firmopinionsonwhat’s

goodandwhat’sbad. In themattersunder considerationhereno such specificguidance is desirable. Sensitivities vary from audience to audience. Anexpression that ruffles feathers in one context will breeze by uneventfully inanother.Wordsthatonepersoncansafelywritemaybeanathemacomingfromsomebodyelse.Justdoyourbesttobeasconsiderateofthefeelingsofothersinwriting as you would be in person. That will take you a long way towardachieving the underlying purposes of political correctness while avoiding itsexcesses.

He,she,andeverybody

Wedo,however,have specific suggestionsonhow tohandleonecommon

writing problem. That is the convention of male-oriented language used inreferencetoallpeople—forexample,“he”asacollectivepronounreferringtowomen as well as men. This convention is pretty much obsolete, but whatreplacesitcanbeawkwardorgrating.“Heorshe,”forexample,asin“Everynovelisthopesthatheorshewillwin

the Pulitzer Prize,” is okay once in a while but becomes tedious and self-consciouswithrepetition,andinsomecasesludicrous—e.g.,givethedevilhisor her due. This problem is often poorly solved by a reckless disregard forgrammar: “Every novelist hopes that they will win the Pulitzer Prize.” Somepeople, otherwise sticklers for proper English, make an exception for thisconstruction,arguingthateverybodyhasarighttotheirownprioritiesinsolvingproblemsofpoliticalcorrectness.Wesaythateverybody(alwayssingular)hasarighttohispriorities,ortoherpriorities,ortohisorhers,butnoindividualofeithersexhasarighttotheirpriorities.“Everynovelisthopesthey’llwin”gratesonmanyearsasbadlyaswould“Everynovelisthopehe’llwin.”Fortunately there is a simple way to be correct both grammatically and

politically.Justputthepointintotheplural:“AllnovelistshopetheywillwinthePulitzer Prize.” Converting a subject from singular to plural works nicely inmost instances.Another trickof the trade is toswitchfromthe thirdperson tothesecondperson:insteadof“whenanemployeereceivesamessageaddressedtohimorher,”write“whenyoureceiveamessageaddressedtoyou.”Inthisbookweoccasionallyuse“she”or“her”whenwewantthereaderto

understandthatwearereferringtoeitheramanorawoman,andinothercasesinsimilarconstructionswithasimilarmeaningweusetheconventional“he”or“him.”Webelievethatthisscattershotmethodofgivingequalrepresentationtowomenandmeniscleartobothandoffensivetoneither.Anassumption, touchedonearlier, liesundereverything in thischapter.We

assume that readerswhomyou’veangeredoroffendedareunlikely to respondfavorably to your message. Since much business writing, and nearly allimportant business writing, seeks a favorable response, it follows that youshouldtrynottoangeroroffendyourreaders.Self-interestaside,wereturntoKennethClarkandhisbeliefincourtesyasa

markofcivilizedbehavior.We,too,believeincourtesy,inwritingasinlife.

11WritingaResume—andGettinganInterview

Nothing else you write canmake so big a difference in your life as yourapplicationforajob.Youshouldapplyinwriting.Whenyoutelephoneforajob,youdoitatyour

convenience.Youchoosethemoment tocall,andthechancesofyourpotentialemployerbeing free to talkwithyou—or even interested indoing so—areremote.Ifyouwanttobetakenseriously,communicateinwriting.Whatyouwriteisaresume*andanaccompanyingletter.Someofthesewill

end up in a wastebasket, unread, but a well-written approach usually earns aresponse. The point is to secure an interview, and that objective should guideyourthinking.The resume is a crucial part of the process. But it won’t get you a job.

Companies don’t hire resumes, they hire people — and they make thosedecisionsinaninterview.Sowhyisyourresumesoimportant?Agoodresume—one that’s relevant, clear, and concise— is a lotmore likely to lead to aninterviewthanapoorone.ThisistruewhetheryourresumearrivesinthemailorovertheInternet.A good resume also helps you prepare for a better interview. Many job

applicantswalkintoaninterviewwithouthavingorganizedtheirthoughtsaboutthekindofjobtheywantorwhythey’requalified.Whenpeopledocometoaninterview prepared to make a cohesive case for themselves, they stand outsharply. Think of a resume as a script that organizes your thinking, so whenyou’reaskedaquestionyoudon’tfindyourselfstumblingaroundlookingfortherightresponse.Beforeyouwriteanythingdown,thinkaboutwhatyouhavetoofferandhow

thoseskillsandexperiencescanbepresentedintermsofwhatthejobrequires.Startbydoingsomeresearchonthemarket(andyourself).

Whatkindsofskillsandexperiencesarerequired?What can you say that demonstrates that you have made some

efforttolearnaboutthecompanyororganization?Whatcanyoutell themabout thecontributionyou’requalifiedto

make?

Research can alsomean finding a person to help get you in the door.Theexecutive recruitment firmRussell Reynolds estimates that 70 percent of jobsarelandedthroughpersonalcontacts.

DearCharlie:AttachedistheresumeofsomeoneIthinkyoushouldmeet.

A resume is frequently the first detailed information about you that a

potential employerwill receive. It is the first impressionof you.Not the finalimpression—thatisyou.

What’sImportantinaResume

A resume summarizes the facts about you, your education, and your

experiencethatarerelevanttothejobyouwant.Butthemostimportantpointisthatitpositionsyouinthemindofthereaderorinterviewer.

Summarizewhatyouhavetooffer(orwhatyouwant)

The singlemost important section is a heading that summarizeswhat you

have to offer a prospective employer in terms of experience, skills, results orinterests, or your job objective.Don’t be a pessimist and conclude right awaythatyoudon’thavethequalifications.Mostpeoplehavemorethantheyrealize,butanamazingnumbereithercan’tpull themtogether incoherentformoraretoolazytothinkabouthowtheyrelatetothepersonreceivingtheapplication.Putthesummaryattheheadofyourresume,inboldfacetype.

14yearsofmarketingexperience,provenabilityinbuildingbrands

Information technology officer with track record in BusinessProcessReengineering

Objective—managementtrainingpositioninretailing

Thinkaboutthissummarymorethananythingelsethatfollows.Workonit,

distillit.Make it as easy as possible for a potential employer to decidewhether you

mightbeacandidateforthejobathand—andwhetheritisworthwhiletogotothe next step and invite you to an interview. Remember: The purpose is aninterview,notaplaceinafiledrawer.

Keepitsimple

Stick to standard, conventional forms. A prospective employer, confronted

byapileofapplications,willnotbecharmedbythosethatmustbefiguredoutlikeapuzzle.Nofancyformatsorpop-ups.Astandard8½by11-inchpage,designedtogo

inastandardNumber10businessenvelope,andastandard file folder,easy tofind for further reference, is theonly professional style.Make it neat and notfussy. Avoid lots of italics and boldface, special typefaces, colored paper.Resumesonvideotapeareseldomacceptableexcept incompanieswhereshowbizisinstyle.Aresumeshouldbestraightforward,logical—andtruthful.Makeiteasyfor

thereadertounderstandyouandtotrackyourcareer.Andwriteityourself.Noprofessionalconsultantknowsyouaswellasyoudo,norcaresasmuchaboutgettingyouajob.Keep it short.Try to get your resumeonone page, two at themost. If you

have little experience, padding won’t help. If you have decades, all themoreimpressivetosticktohighlights.Don’tforgetthattherewillbeacoverletter—andaninterview—inwhichyoucanelaborateonanypointsyouwanttostress.

WhattoPutIn—WhattoLeaveOut

Leaveoutthesmallstuffandtheoldstuff,soyoucanfullymakethepoints

that are important. You don’t have to put everything in a resume; keep backsomething for the interview. Leave out those high school awards, the collegefraternity social chairman, the minor achievements. Leave out “Referencesavailableonrequest”—ifwewantthem,we’llaskforthem.Putineverythingthatpointstowhyyouwouldbegoodatthejob.Make sureyouhavedescribedyouraccomplishments in termsof the result,

nottheactivity.Itisimportantforyourreadertoknowhowfaryoumovedtherock,nothowmuchtimeyouspentpushingit.There’s no one perfect style for everybody.The resume representsyou,and

you’renotlikeeverybodyelse.Oneusefulformatistodivideitintotwoparts—

a tight chronology of your jobs and responsibilities, followed by a pagehighlightingyoursignificantachievements.Startbyputtingineverything;thenboilitdowntoapageorsobycuttingthe

marginalpointsor those thatbarelyapply. If theydon’tdirectlymake thecaseforyourcandidacy, take themoutorcut themdown.Stick to thefacts,andbespecific.Peopleputthestrangestthingsintheirresumes.Thetestofwhattoincludeis

thesameasitisforanythingelseyouwrite:Isitrelevant?Isittrue?Herearesomeotherbasics:

Whattoputin

Firstthingsfirst.Name,address,phonenumberatthetop.Alsofaxande-mail.

State a job objective — factually, without embellishment. Aprospective employer doesn’t care if you want a “challengingposition.”(Sometimeswethinkwewouldhire,sightunseen,anybodywhowould bewilling to get out all that nonchallengingwork everyday.)

Somepeoplearequalifiedtopursuealternativecareers—ineitherlaw or finance, for example. If that’s you, prepare two differentresumes— one for each objective, with the balance of the resumetailoredtothatobjective.

List jobs, including locations anddates—startingwith themostrecent.

Anemployerismoreinterestedinwhatyouhavebeendoinglatelythaninwhatyoudidtenyearsago.Ifyougainedyourmostrelevantexperiencesomeyearsagoonanearlierjob,makeitstandoutbytheamountofdetailintheresume—notbychangingtheorder.

Ifyou’vebeenoutofworkatsomepointinyourcareer,orworkedforcompaniesthatnolongerexist,youmaybetemptedtoomitthoseexperiences. Resist the temptation. Fill in all the gaps; otherwise, itlooksasthoughyou’rehidingsomething.Fortheperiodyou’vebeenoutofwork, simplysaysomething like“1997-99PersonalProjects,”orwhateverhappenstobethetruth.

Includesomedefinitionofthesizeofthebusinessyouworkedin,suchassales,unless thesizewillbeobvious toall readers.Describethe scope of your responsibilities and, most important, youraccomplishments.Behonest;ifyouwerepartofateam,sayso.Don’texaggerate.

Includeallcollegeorgraduatedegreesanddates.Leaveouthighschool (unless you’re applying for a first job or attended anunusualschool).

List any boards of directors you serve on, professional or trade

associations, or significant community or volunteer serviceorganizations,withthemostimportantonesfirst.

Listanypublishedarticlesorbooks.Ifyouare freshoutofcollegeorgraduate school, extracurricular

activitiescanberelevant.Briefly cover significant personal facts. Briefly. List all special

skills,suchastechnologyskillsorfacilityinaforeignlanguage.Thenatureanddegreeofyourcomputersavvycanbe important inmanyjobsnowadays.Youneverknowwhensuchsecondaryabilitieswillbethedecidingfactoringettingyouaninterview,orevenajob.

Whattoleaveout

Ageorgender—notessential,seldomrelevant,andthelawsaysyoucannotbeasked.But,ofcourse,prospectiveemployerswillfigureoutwhetheryou’remaleorfemale,andwillgetaprettygoodideaofyouragefromthedatesonyourresume.

Honorsor prizes—unless they are genuinely important in yourfield.

Height andweight—unless it is relevant to the requirementsofthejob.

Travel—unlessrelevant.Salaryrequirement—ifappropriate,putthisinthecoverletter.Hobbies—whocares?Race or religion — best left out. The law says you cannot be

asked.Clubs—notnecessary.Photograph—onlybeginnersseemtoincludetheirpictures.

Makeitperfect—makeitprofessional.Notypos.Nomisspellings.Asmalltypowilldetractfromanotherwisestellarresume.Itcomesoffasunprofessionalandcareless,andsendsthewrongsignals.Youdon’thavetogototheexpenseofprintingyour resume,butget top-quality reproduction (laserorhigh-qualityinkjetprints).Crispandblack,withoutsmudges.Becarefulwithabbreviations;peoplemaynotknowwhattheymean.Givethe

fullnamesofcompanies,tradeassociations,governmentalbodies.Takeoutallunnecessarywords.Shorteneverythingtotheextentofwritingin

telegraphic style—without verbs, articles, or connectives.Write in the thirdperson:“Managedsixty-four-persondepartment,”not“Imanaged…”Thenshowittosomeonewhowillbringafreshperspectiveandwhoknows

you well enough to ask “Is this really what you wanted to say?” “Is thisrelevant?”or“Sowhat?”

TheLetterThatGetsYourResumeRead

Neversendaresumewithoutacoveringletter.Ittakestimetogothrougha

resume. Employers decide from your covering letter whether your resume isworththattime—andmightultimatelyleadtoaninterview.Yourletterisyouropportunitytofocusonthechiefattributesyouwanttofix

inyourreader’smind.It’sworthputtingthoughtintowhatyousayinyourletter,andtakingcarewithhowyousayit.Herearesomepointstokeepinmind:

1.Thinkaboutthereader

Whatcanyouofferthatwillbenefittheprospectiveemployer?Doyouhave

relevantexperience,training,oreducation?Consulting with a young law student, we were struck by his draft letter

applying for a job in the Environmental Protection Agency. Almost everyparagraph started with “I,” as it outlined his impressive credentials. A betterletter—startingwiththeneedsofthereaderratherthanthevirtuesofthewriter—beganbystating:

Accordingtopressreports,youragencyisunderenormouspressureinstaff and budgets, and it is obvious that you must have people who canmove fast and carry a heavy load. Here are several reasons why mybackgroundshouldbehelpfultoEPAinexactlythoseways.

Try to single out a benefit to the organization that will accrue from your

joiningit.

2.Identifythesortofjobyou’relookingfor

State it clearly and at once. Say what led you to apply— a want ad, a

recommendationfromafriend,thereputationofthefirm.Aletterapplyingforajobasaresearchanalyststartedinthismysteriousway:

DearMr.Ball:

It’s springalready—a time to thinkabout planting seeds. Someseeds are small, like apple seeds. Others are bigger. Coconuts, forexample.Butbigorlittle,aseedcangroworflourishifit’splantedinpropersoil.

Theapplicantwouldhavedonebettertostartlikethis:

DearMr.Ball:

Iunderstandthatyouarelookingforaresearchanalyst.

Better straight to the point, however trite, than roundabout, howeveringenious.Mr.Ballwantstoknowwhattheletterisabout;hedoesn’thavetimetoplayguessinggames.Here’sadirectapproachthatledtoajob:

ThisletterisinresponsetoarecentconversationwithMaryBrown,inwhich Mary suggested that my background in continuous processimprovementmightbeagoodfitwithyourcurrentneeds.

InmycurrentpositionasConsultingQualityLeader/MasterBlackBelt at General Equipment Systems, I am responsible for using myprocess improvement and team facilitation skills to support a widevarietyofqualityprojects.

Don’t emulate the fellow who had his tonsils removed through his belly

button,justtobedifferent.

Piquetheinterestofthereader

Youcanoftengettothepointinawaythataddsanextraelementofinterest.

According to the grapevine, you’ve been looking for an experiencedresearch analyst for three months. If so, then it’s strange that in such asmallcommunitywedidn’tknoweachotheruntilnow.

Thatisnotthesameastryingtoattractfavorableattentionbybutteringupa

potentialemployer,whichdoesn’twork:

I have long admired your firm as one of the most reputable andprofessionalinthecountry.Itisclearthatyoursuccesscannotbeattributedtoaccidentorcoincidence.

Flattery may still have its uses in business, but introducing yourself as a

flattererwon’timpressmostemployers.Herearetwoopeningsthatgostraighttothepointininterestingways:

DearMs.Page:Do you need an exceptionally fast accountant? If so, I may be your

man.

DearMr.Kilgour:OurmutualfriendCharlesHartiganhasurgedmetowritetoyouabout

yourplantocreateapublicitydepartment.Iwouldliketohelpyousetitup—andIknowhowtodoit,asyoucanseefrommyresume.

4.Addressanindividual,neveratitlebyitself

Don’taddressyourenvelopeAttention—PersonnelDirector,orManageror

HeadofAccountingDepartment.Wethrewoutapplicationsaddressedonly toCreativeDirector orChairman

onthegroundthatifthewriterweretoolazytofindoutaperson’sname,heorshewouldbetoolazytodoagoodjob.Spell all names right. It is astonishing how often job applicants misspell

names,includingthenamesofthefirmstheywanttoworkfor.Amessagecomesthrough even before the letter is read: “This applicant can’t be seriouslyinterestedinworkinghere.”Checkanddoublecheckallnames,eventhoseyouthinkyouknow.Areyou

sureit’s“Field”andnot“Fields”?Howmany“f’s”aretherein“Hefner”?DoesEliotspellhisnamewithone“l”ortwo,one“t”ortwo?Isit“Ann”or“Anne”?“Proctor”or“Procter”?

5.Bespecificandfactual

Once you’ve made clear what job you want, then touch on your chief

qualification.Avoidegotisticalabstractionssuchas:

Ambition mixed with striving for excellence is one of my strongestassets.

Askyourselfhowyouwouldfeelsayingthattoaprospectiveemployer.Ifit

wouldembarrassyouinperson,don’tputitinwriting.Sohowdoyouindicatepersonalcharacteristicsthatmaybeamongyourmost

importantqualifications?Bespecific.Offerevidenceinsupportofanyclaimofability,andputtheevidencefactually.

Myexperienceincludessuchactivitiesas:

Utilizing continuous process improvement methodologies andquality tools in the redesign of company processes to reduce defectconditionsandincreaseprofitability

Working closely with departments to identify opportunities forprocessimprovements

Coaching/mentoring teams in the use of quality tools such asPareto charts, Fishbone diagrams, Scatter diagrams, Regressionanalysis,DesignedExperiments,andothers

Establishing control charts to help business leaders accuratelyassess both the stability of their processes and the ability of theseprocessestomeetcustomerrequirements

Designing a process management system that will allow thebusiness leaders to understand and manage their respectivedepartmentsasaseriesofinterrelatedprocesses

Additionaldetailsareincludedintheaccompanyingresume.

Touchonyourmost important accomplishments in the samematter-of-factstyle.Coveryourpertinentresponsibilities.Neverbrag,butdon’thesitatetociteauthenticevidenceofyourvalue.Ifyoudon’tblowyourownhorn,whowill?

6.Bepersonal,direct,andnatural

Youareahumanbeingwritingtoanotherhumanbeing.Neitherofyouisan

institution.Bebusinesslikeandcourteous,butnotstiffandimpersonal.Themore your letter sounds like you, themore itwill stand apart from the

lettersofyourcompetitors.Butdon’ttrytodazzlethereaderwithyoursparklingpersonality.Youwouldn’tshowoffinaninterview,sowhyshowoffinaletter?Ifyoumakeeachsentencesoundthewayyouwouldsayitacrossadesk,therewillbeplentyofpersonalityinyourletter.Most good covering letters make their point in about a half page; few run

longerthanapage.Ifyourcoverletterlooksmoreformidablethanyourresume,youhavedefeatedyourpurpose.Keepitshort.

7.Proposeaspecificnextstep

Youwillbewritingtoapersonortoaboxnumber.Ineithercase,closethe

letterwithaclearandprecisestatementofhowyouwishtoproceedtowardaninterview— remember that’s your objective, not a “We’ll keep your letter onfile”response.Avoidsuchmumblingsas:

Hopingtohearfromyousoon.

Thankyouforyourtimeandconsideration.

I’m looking forward to the opportunity of discussing a positionwithyou.

All such conclusions place the burden of the next step on your busy

prospectiveemployer.Whymakesomeoneelseworkonyourbehalf?Dothejobyourself.

I’llcallyourofficeWednesdayafternoontoseeifyou’dlikemetocomeinforaninterview.

I’m free foran intervieweverymorninguntil eight forty-fiveandThursdays after two-thirty. I’ll call your office Tuesday afternoon tofindoutifyou’dliketogettogetheratanyofthesetimes.

At this stage you should volunteer to telephone.A phone call nowmakes

thingseasyforthepersonattheotherend.Ifyoudon’tcall,thensomeonehastogotothetroubleofcallingorwritingyou.Oryoucouldendyourletterlikethis:

Ifyou’dlikemetocomeinforaninterview,youcanreachmeat(999)438-6688,extension276,from10A.M.to1P.M,andfrom2P.M. to6:30P.M.onworkingdays.IcanarrangetogetawayforacoupleofhoursanydaybutMonday;bestformewouldbeThursdaymorning.

The idea is to make it as simple as you possibly can for your prospective

employertosetupamutuallyconvenientappointment.

8.Senddifferentletterstodifferentreaders

Withtheexceptionofthecasesnotedinourearlierdiscussionoftheresume,

youwillprobablywanttosendthesameresumetoallpotentialemployers.Butyoumaynotwanttoapproachallofthemexactlythesamewayinyourcoveringletter.Certainofyourqualificationsmaybemoreimportanttooneemployerthanto

another.Takethetroubletotailoryourletterforeachofthem.Send lots of letters. Finding the right job in the shortest time is in part a

numbersgame.Sendyour letter and resume toasmanydifferentpeople inanorganizationasyoucan; it is impossible topredictwhere theopportunities lie.And mail to lots of companies. The more people who see your resume, thegreatertheoddsthatoneofthemwillhaveanopenjobandinviteyoutocomeinforaninterview.Send a second letter if you haven’t had a response after a few weeks. It’s

possible that theaddresseewas traveling, thatyourapplicationwasmistakenlyscreenedoutandneverseen, that itwasforgotten,or thata jobhasopenedupthatwasn’ttherewhenyoufirstwrote.

9.Followupaninterviewinwriting

Youwillstandoutfrommostothercandidatesbythesimpleactofsendinga

follow-up note confirming your interest and expressing appreciation for theinterview.Sofewpeopledoitthatitwillputyouhighontheinterviewer’slist,atleastintermsofinterestandcourtesy.Try to find something specific to comment on, something beyond a

perfunctory“thankyou.”

DearMs.Oldham:

AfterIleftyouroffice,Irealizedthatwe’dtalkedformorethananhour.Itwasstimulating—andmadethejobseemmostattractive.

You mentioned your need for someone who truly understands theconsumer.Ihopeyou’llkeepinmindthatIspentthreeyearssellingstovesdoor-to-doorplusfiveyearsinaresearchfirm.IfigurethatI’vespentfivethousand hours talking person-to-person with some three thousandconsumersintwentystates.

Whateveryousay,don’tgushorgrovel.Don’texaggerateyourappreciation

for the interviewor your interest in the job.Here, as in everything youwrite,candorandsinceritywillserveyoubest.If you don’t get the job, don’t give up— especiallywhen you feel you’ve

made a favorable impression. Find ways to stay in touch with anybody whoalreadythinkswellofyou.Aletterfromtimetotimecanmakesureyoucometomindincaseasuitablejobopensup,orincaseyourinterviewerhearsofoneinanothercompany.Youmightfireoffanoccasionalclippingonsomesubjectofmutualinterest,accompaniedbyabriefnote.Youcouldreportonsomeactivitythat’snewsincetheinterviewandbearsonthelineofworkyou’relookingfor.Oryoucansimplyreaffirmyourinterest.If nothing works, maybe what you need is more relevant training or other

experience.Asigninacollegeplacementofficesaid:

YOURRESUMEISFINE

(ChangeYourLife!)

WhenMichaelCapellaswaselectedCEOofCompaq,henotedthathehad

neverwrittenaresumeinhiscareer.Thebestwaytogetabetterjobistodoagreatjobwhereyouare.

THEE-RESUME

“Digital resumes, digital employment advertising, digital resume

searches — it’s a rebuilding of the infrastructure,” says Intel ChairmanAndyGrove.No resumes were mailed by Jason Spero, who got his interview at

RealNamesinCaliforniabydistributinghisresumeviaWebsite,targetede-mail,andlistingontheschool’son-lineresumedirectoryservice.Afteraninitialmeeting,itwasalle-mailcorrespondenceleadingtoajob.

“Ane-mailislessthreateningthanaphonecall,”saysSpero.“Thepersonis not feeling like, ‘Oh,God, he is going tokeep callingme, and I don’thave caller ID.’ I was never more threatening than a line item on acomputer.”NearlyhalftheGlobal500companiesareactivelyrecruitingontheNet,

reports Fortune. At least 28,500 job boards list opportunities. Softwareprograms write your resume and provide interview coaching. Compaqreceives85percentofitsresumeselectronically.Andit’snotalltechies—twothirdsofon-linejobseekerscomefromnontechnicalprofessions,saysanindustrynewsletter.“One of the big equalizers of the Internet is that it has allowed small

companies to have exposure,” says another successful job seeker. “In theoldworld,youwouldneverevenseethesecompanies.Ineverwouldhavebeenabletohookupwithastartuplikethis,andit’ssuchaperfectfit.”While it’s still early days for this new recruitingmedium, it’s not too

earlytotakenoteofitsimplicationsforelectronicresumes.Theymustbeeasilyreadandscannedforkeywords.Opticalscannerscatalog,sort,store,and access resumes, and search for specifics — names of softwareprograms the applicant has mastered, for example, not generalities like“familiar with all relevant software programs.” Electronic searches workbest with plain vanilla text and no boldface, italics, underlines, or fancytype fonts (useAriel or TimesRoman).Avoid bullets, dashes, or similarnonletter,non-numericsymbols—theyconfusescanners.Itisespeciallyimportanttohaveaclearobjective.“Youonlyhavehalfa

screentoimpressarecruiter,”notesajob-searchexpert.“Theydon’twant

toscrolldowntofindoutwhatyouwanttodo.”

Theresumeonthefollowingpage,withe-mailfollow-up,helpedlandane-job.

The objective was a job in the on-line world, so this resumeappropriatelylistsURLande-mailaddresses(plusphonenumberandmailaddress).

Theresumetellsanimpressivestoryandtellsitclearly.

It starts with the most recent experience, business school, citingbothacademicandleadershipachievements.

Itshowstwoimpressivesummerjobs,describingaccomplishmentsaswellasactivities.

Itshowspurpose—choosingatechnologybrandname(Microsoft)for a job, then leaving the Internet world to go to business school,beforereturningtoasoftwarecompany.

There’s just enough personal information to show the candidatehasbroadinterests.

Anditdoesitononepage.

We might have preferred to start with a heading of relevantexperience or objectives (OBJECTIVE: PRODUCTMANAGEMENTPOSITION WITH AN INTERNET COMPANY), but our advice isgeneral,notaformula—andthisoneworked.

JASONSPERO[address,telephone,e-mail,URL]

EDUCATION

1997-present J.L.KELLOGGGRADUATESCHOOLOFMANAGEMENTNORTHWESTERNUNIVERSITYEvanston,IllCandidateforMasterofManagementDegree,June1999,Dean’sList

Majors in management and strategy,entrepreneurshipandmarketing

Chair of High Tech Club (200 members,$15,000annualbudget)

Chair of Soccer Club (100 members, $10,000annualbudget)

1990-1994 AMHERSTCOLLEGEAmherst,Mass.BachelorofArtsinpoliticalscience,May1994[Listofundergraduatesportsactivitiesandawards]

EXPERIENCE1998 MICROSOFTCORPORATIONRedmond,Wash.

ProductManagerIntern,WindowsNTServer5.0Group

Built independent software vendor (ISV)PartnersProgramforWindowsNTServer5.0.[Listofspecificprogramelements]

Developed long term marketing plan for ISVstrategicpartnershipsforWindowsNTlaunch.

Authoredandmanagedprimarymarketresearchcampaign for use in developing positioningstrategiesforWindowsNT5.0launch.

DONALDSON,LUFKIN&JENRETTE,INC.NewYork,N.Y.

1997 Associate,InvestmentBankingDivision[Listofresponsibilitiesandaccomplishments]

1994-1997 Analyst,InvestmentBankingDivision[Listofresponsibilitiesandaccomplishments]

PERSONALAlumniFund-raisingAgentforAmherstClassof1994.Youthsoccercoach.

Enjoytravel,blackLabradors,wine,basketball,soccerandscuba.TraveledextensivelyinSpainandItaly.Learningharmonica.

*Resume can also be résume (one accent) or résumé (two accents),dependingonwhichdictionaryyouconsult.Sincetheaccentkeysinwordprocessing programs can be a nuisance to activate (and few typewritershavesuchkeys),resumeiscommonusageinbusinesscorrespondence.

12EditingYourself

Neversendout thefirstdraftofanything important.Goodwritersconsiderediting an essential part of the writing process, not just a final perfectionistpolishing. The great songwriter Jerome Kern struggled to perfect hiswonderfullysmoothmelodies;hiscollaboratorOscarHammersteinIIdescribedtheprocess:“Smoothness isachievedonlybyscrapingoff roughness.Noneofhismelodieswasbornsmooth.”

Nothingyouwritewillbebornsmootheither.Edittoscrapeoffroughness.Editto:

ShortenSharpenandclarifySimplifyCheckforaccuracyandprecisionImproveorderandlogicMakesurenothingisleftoutReviewtoneImproveappearanceExamineeverythingfromthereader’spointofview

Thefirstrule:Ifitisn’tessential,cutitout.Gothroughyourdraftonceasking

only this question:What can I get rid of? Cut unnecessary words, phrases,sentences,paragraphs.MarkTwainsaidthatwritersshouldstrikeouteverythirdwordonprinciple:“Youhavenoideawhatvigoritaddstostyle.”Twain’sadviceworksespeciallywelline-mail—yourmessagepops.Before

youhitSend,tryDelete.The first timewewrote theaboveparagraph—beforeediting, itwasmore

thantwiceaslong(andnotascommunicative).Gothroughyourdraftasecondtimewiththesequestionsinmind:

1.Areyoumumbling?

Inputtingtogetheraroughdraft,itspeedsthingsuptogetsomethingdown,

evenifitonlyapproximateswhatyouwanttosay.Butneversettleforaroughapproximationinyourfinaldraft.Haveyouchosentheverbsandadjectivesthatexpressyourmeaningprecisely?Couldyoubelessabstractandmoredown-to-earth?Scrutinizeeveryimportantthought.

2.Haveyougotthingsinthebestorder?

Thispointoriginallycamelaterinthechapter.Inediting,wedecideditwas

secondinimportance—andcloselyrelatedtothepointthatfollows.Goodwriters shift things around a lot.This used tobe a laboriousbusiness

callingforscissorsandScotchtapeandalotofpatience.WithCutandPasteinwordprocessingyoucantakeyourworkapartandreassembleitinseconds.Many goodwriters print out a hard copy of each draft, tomake it easy to

comparearevisedversionagainstanearlierone.Itisnotunusualtodecidethatsomeofyourshiftsoforderaren’timprovementsafterall.

3.Arethereanyholesinyourargument?

Putyourselfinyourreader’sshoes.Doeseverythingfollowlogically?Don’t

expect your reader to leap frompoint to point like a goat on a rocky hillside.Makesureyourtrailisclear,smooth,andwellmarked.

4.Areyourfactsright?

Checkallstatisticsandstatementsoffact.Asinglebaderrorcanundermine

yourreader’sconfidenceinyourpaper.Inparticular,checkquotations.“Iquotealot,”saysaneruditeauthor.“Ialwayscheck,evenwhenIaminnodoubt.AndIamalwayswrong.”

5.Isthetoneright?

Toostiff?Toochummy?Lackinginsympathy?Rude?Againputyourselfin

yourreader’splaceandchangeanythingyou,asareader,mightfindoffensive.

FromFirstDrafttoSecond:AnExample

Herearefiveinstances,takenfromasinglepaper,ofhoweditingshortened,

sharpened,andclarifiedwhatthewriterwastryingtosay:Firstdraft SconddraftConsumerperceptionofthebrandchangedverypositively.

Theopinionofconsumersimproved.

Generatepromotioninterestthroughhighlevelsofadvertisingspending.

Advertiseheavilytobuildinterestinpromotions.

Movefromproductadvertisingtoaneducationalcampaign,onethatwouldinstructviewersonsuchthingsas…

Movefromproductadvertisingtoaneducationalcampaignonsubjectslike…

UsingtheresourcesofourorganizationinEurope,inadditiontoourChicagooffice,wehavebeenabletoprovidemanagementwithalternativestheyhadpreviouslybeenunawareof.

OurofficesinEuropeandChicagoproducedalternativesthatmanagementhadn’tknownabout.

Basedontheirsmallbudget,wehavedevelopedamediaplanwhichisbasedonefficiencyinreachingthetargetaudience.

Wedevelopedamediaplanthatincreasestheefficiencyoftheirsmallbudgetbyfocusingonprospects.

TwoSimpleEditingTips

Nomatterhowgoodaneditoryouarealready,youwillbecomebetterifyou

followthesetwopractices:

Lettimeelapsebetweendrafts.

Solicittheopinionofotherpeople.Print a clean copy of your draft. Set it aside. Get away from it at least

overnight. Then come back to it in themorning.You’ll see itwith new eyes.Imperfections that were invisible the day before will now pop out at you.Throughsomealchemyoftime,you’llknowwhattodoaboutthem.When you ask for comments from other people — colleagues, friends,

anybodywhoseopinionyourespect—you’reputtingthemtoworkforyou.Ifsomebody’s suggestions are helpful, say “Thank you” and use them. If youdisagreewith them,say“Thankyou”anddon’tuse them.Noneedtoargueorproveyourconsultantwrong.It’syourworkandyouaremakingthedecisions.You’llfindthatnearlyeverybodywillspotsomethingyouoverlooked.Itcanbevaluablejusttodiscoverasinglepointthatisn’tclear.The late David Ogilvy sent drafts of all important papers to several of his

associates with the handwritten injunction: Please Improve. He was thebeneficiaryofsomanyimprovementsthathelivedhislasttwenty-fiveyearsinasixty-roomcastleinFrance.

Editingimprovednearlyeverypageofthebookyou’rereading:9/20/99

Chapter5

E-MAIL-THEGREATMAILBOXINTHESKY

Therewas Santa on the stage ofNewYork’sRadioCityMusicHall,readingChristmaslettersandwithoutmakinganythingspecialofit,tellingthousands of kids and grownups they can reach him at Santa.com. Andnobody blinked! We’ve moved from Baby Boomers to Generation X togeneration.com.

There’s a larger gap between snail mail and e-mail, and it’sgrowing fast The U.S. Post Office counts its mail in hundreds ofbillions;e-messagesarecountedintrillions,andalmostdoublingeachyear.

E-maildoesthingsthatlettersorphonecallscannotdoaswell,orcannot do at all. It is easy, fast, simple - and cheap. It’s perfect forquickanswers, confirmingplansandshortmessages. It savesmoneyonphonecalls,messengersandairfreightbills.

Withe-mail,phonetaggoesaway.Asdo-timezones,Sendatyourconvenience,thereceiverpicksupathisorhersAndIfyoudoconnecton the phone, you are likely to be interrupting whatever the otherperson is doing, even if it’s just thinking. By contrast, e-mail iscivilized.

E-mailhelpsorganizationsstayconnectedandreactquickly.

All interoffice communications should flowover e-mail, preachesBillGates, “soworkers canact onnewswith reflex-like speed.”Hegoes on to direct that meetings should not be used to presentinformation:“It’smoreeffectivetousee-mail”.

Ageneration.com type also cites the benefit of a permanent address:

“Physicalresidenceforpeoplemygenerationchangesconstantly,butmye-mail address will stay withme forever so people will always be able tocommunicatewithme.”

Email is easy.Tooeasy sometimes. Its emphasison speed takesawayfrommattersthatdeservethoughtandreflection.Therearetimeswhennothingbeatsconversationtosolveaproblem,orwhencourtesycallsforanicelytypedorhandwrittenletter.

Warninge-mail canbe addictive andcreateproblemsof its own.Newcomers on-line are so giddy with their discovery they want tobroadcast it to everyone. Garrulous bores find a large unwillingaudience. Managers with a natural tendency to hide barricadethemselvesbehindwallsofe-mail,sendingnotestopeoplefourdesksaway.More

13MakingItEasytoRead

Ifwhatyou’vewrittenlooksformidableormessy,yourreaderbracesforanordeal before reading aword. “Thiswill be heavy going” is themessage youdeliver,inaglance.Ifwhatyou’vewritten lookseasy to take inandget through,you’reoff toa

goodstart.Thatwasalwaystruewithprinteddocuments,nowevenmoresowithe-mail. When a message runs more than a few lines, formatting becomes anissue. Full-screen paragraphs are almost impossible to read and show littleconsiderationofthereader(aswellaslackoforganizedthinkingbythesender).Mostwordprocessingprogramsallowyoutopreviewtheappearanceofentire

pages.This gives you a better sense of howyour document looks thanpartialpagesonascreen,andcanhelpyoudecidewhat improvementsmaybecalledfor.Andthewordprocessor’svirtuosityinformattingmakesiteasytoputthoseimprovementsintoeffect.Here are some ways to make everything you write look professional —

invitingtoread,easytounderstand,andsimpletoreferto.

1.Startwithaheading

Putittopcenterincapitalletters.Thisorientsyourreaderatonce.

OFFICECLOSESFRIDAYNOONWEWONTHEBUSINESS

2.Keepparagraphsshort

Wherever you see a long paragraph, break it into two ormore short ones.

Thisisparticularlyhelpfulwithe-mail.

3.Usetypographicdevicesforclarityandemphasis

Most readable magazines and newspapers prefer italics to underlining for

emphasis.

Tostresskeyideas,putthemintoindentedparagraphs.Thisemphasizesthembysettingthemapart.Italicscanaddevengreateremphasis.

Whenyoudouseunderlining—inheadings,forinstance,orleadins—usea

singlecontinuousunderlineratherthanachoppy-lookingunderline,onewordatatime,whichslowsreading.While color and special fonts on your PC add emphasis, they don’t come

acrossasbusinesslikeindocuments.Ajudicioususeofcolorcanbeeffectiveindecksandothervisualpresentations(ifnotoverdone).

4.Numbered,lettered,orbulletedpointshelpyourreaderfollowyourthinking

Thesedeviceslookbestacoupleofspacestotheleftofthetextmargin,like

thea.andb.thatfollow.

1. Wordprocessorsputtoolsintoyourhandsthatusedtobeavailableonlytoprinters.Boldfacetype,forexample,canmakeiteasyforyourreadertoscanyourmainpoints.(Weuseitforthatpurposethroughoutthisbook.)

2. “Hanging” your letters and numbers in the margin makes yourdivisionsandsubdivisionseasiertofollow.

5.Useuppercaseandlowercase.

All-capital words and phrases should be used with restraint, except for

headings. Printing text in all capitals, characterized in the e-world asSHOUTING, works against readership. There is a place for their sparing,occasionaluse—forablastofemphasis,asBillGatesusedtheminanotetohiscolleaguesatMicrosoft:

“I am hard-core about NOT supporting” [the latest version of JavafromSunMicrosystems.]

6.Breakuplargemassesoftype

Usesubheads,likethenumberedpointsthroughoutthisbook.Typethemin

capitalsandlowercase,underlinethemorputtheminboldface,andleaveplentyofspaceaboveandbelow.Itoftenhelpstosendlonge-mailmessagesasattachments.Ifthat’sthecase,

sayso immediately:“Here’sanattachment.”Andmake theattachmenteasy totransmitandeasytoread.It’sirritatingtoreceivepresentationsviae-mailwithwild colors for text and background. They’re hard to read, sometimesimpossible,andtakeforevertodownload.

7.Usespacetoseparateparagraphs

Itlooksneaterthanindents.Usesinglespacingbetweenlines,doublespacingbetweenparagraphs.Drafts

of documents for which you are soliciting comments should be triple-spacedthroughout,withextrawidemargins.Itmakeseditingeasier.

8.Handlenumbersconsistently

Newspapersgenerallyspelloutnumberstenandunder,andusenumeralsfor

11andup.Bookpublishersfollowotherrules.Whateveryoudo,beconsistent.It is easier to grasp big numbers when you write $60 million rather than

$60,000,000.

9.Makechartseasytohandle—andinteresting

If your document includes wide charts, don’t make the reader turn itsidewaystoreadthem.Usehorizontalfoldouts.Considerwhetheryourchartsneedtobeinthebodyofyourdocumentatall.

Might they go at the end, as appendixes? Your document will look lessformidableifitisuninterruptedbygraphsandcharts.Ifyoudousecharts,coloraddsvarietyandinterest.Number your appendices and separate them clearly with tabs. This makes

themeasytofind.

10.Numberyourpages,eveninearlydrafts

If inserted material messes up the numerical order, use 1A, 1B (in

handwriting, ifnecessary),andsoon.Nothing ismoreannoying than trying tofindaparticularpassageinanunnumbereddocument.

Beforeprintingyourfinaldraft,runyoureyeoveritwiththesetechniquesin

mind. What can you do to make it look more interesting? Where will yourmeaning be illuminated by subheadings, italics, boldface, indents, underlines,enumeration?Writefortheeyeaswellasthemind.

Legalese—andHardtoPenetrate

(Wedidn’tmakethisup.Thisispreciselyhowitcame.)

RESOLVED, that this Committee hereby: (1) approves (a) thecompensation for the Officers of the Corporation for its fiscal year2000; (b) the total award for the fiscalyear1999performanceunderthe Corporation’s Annual Performance Plan (the “APP”); (c) (i) thegrantsofNonqualifiedStockOptionsandRestrictedSharesundertheCorporation’s Long-Term Incentive Plan (the “LTIP”), and (ii) thegrants of the Corporation’s Common Shares and the correspondingpaymentsof“gross-up”compensation toaccount for the taxonsuchgrants,alltheforegoinggrantsandpaymentstobeeffectiveasofthe

next Valuation Date and at the FairMarket Value determined as ofsuchValuationDate,allsuchtermsasdefinedintheLTIP;and(d)therevision beginningwith fiscal year 2000 of the Performance FactorsandBonusFactorsinAttachment1totheAPP;(2)recommendstotheBoardofDirectorsthecompensationandgrantsofNonqualifiedStockOptions for the Corporation’s Chief Executive Officer, all of theactionsreferencedinclauses(1)and(2)aboveasshowninExhibits1to6presented toand filedwith theminutesof thismeeting; and (3)authorizes the Corporation’s Executive Committee to make, withrespect to participants in the APP who are not Officers of theCorporation, any further awards or adjustments in awards under theAPP, provided that the sum of all such awards and the individualawardsapprovedinaccordanceherewithdonotexceedthetotalawardapprovedherein.

StillLegalese—butPossibletoGrasptheGistofIt

(Notawordchanged)

RESOLVED,thatthisCommitteehereby:

Approves

1. ThecompensationfortheOfficersoftheCorporationforitsfiscalyear2000;

2. The total award for the fiscal year 1999 performance under theCorporation’sAnnualPerformancePlan(the“APP”);

3. The grants of Nonqualified StockOptions and Restricted Sharesunder theCorporation’s Long-Term Incentive Plan (the “LTIP”) andthegrantsoftheCorporation’sCommonSharesandthecorrespondingpaymentsof“gross-up”compensation toaccount for the taxonsuchgrants,alltheforegoinggrantsandpaymentstobeeffectiveasofthenext Valuation Date and at the FairMarket Value determined as ofsuchValuationDate,allsuchtermsasdefinedintheLTIP;and

4. The revision beginningwith fiscal year 2000of thePerformance

FactorsandBonusFactorsinAttachment1totheAPP;

RecommendstotheBoardofDirectors:

1. The compensation and grants of Nonqualified StockOptions fortheCorporation’sChiefExecutiveOfficer,

2. Alloftheactionsreferencedinclauses(1)and(2)aboveasshownin Exhibits 1 to 6 presented to and filed with the minutes of thismeeting;and

Authorizes the Corporation’s Executive Committee to make, withrespecttoparticipantsintheAPPwhoarenotOfficersoftheCorporation,anyfurtherawardsoradjustments inawardsunder theAPP,providedthatthe sum of all such awards and the individual awards approved inaccordanceherewithdonotexceedthetotalawardapprovedherein.

OtherBooksThatWillHelpYouWriteBetter

Most people who write well read a lot. They read many kinds of goodwriting, past and current. Good fiction, good essays, good history, goodjournalism.Readinggetstheshapesandrhythmsofgoodwritingintoyourhead.Thebestoftoday’snewspapercolumnists—amongthemThomasFriedman,

Maureen Dowd, and George Will — serve up regular examples of how toexpressapointofviewpersuasivelyinlimitedspace.Inadditiontosyndicatedcolumnists,you’llfindavarietyofgoodwritingeverydayontheOpEdpagesofmajornewspapers.Mostofitiswrittenbypeoplewho,likeyou,don’twriteforaliving.Theyhavelearnedtoputforwardtheirideasclearlyandforcefullyinwritingthatmeetsthestandardsofthetopeditors.Reading goodwritingwill help youmore than readingabout goodwriting,

and it’s a lotmore fun.There are,however,dozensofbooks thathavehelpedpeople become better writers. Here are a few we’ve found especially useful.Someareoutofprint,andyoumayhavetochasethemdownbyusinganon-linebookservice.

TheElementsofStyle (Allyn&Bacon),WilliamStrunk Jr. andE.B.White.ThenewFourthEditionof thiscompactclassichasa forewordbyRogerAngell(and,blessthem,anindex).“Buyit,studyit,enjoyit.It’sastimelessasabookcanbe inourageofvolubility” is theendorsementbytheNewYorkTimes.

On Writing Well (HarperCollins), William Zinsser. More forprofessionalwriters,butfullofusefulwisdom.

SimplySpeaking(HarperCollins),PeggyNoonan.Advicefromaterrificspeechwriter.

Lend Me Your Ears: Great Speeches in History (W. W. Norton),SelectedbyWilliamSafire—alsoanoutstandingspeechwriter,columnist,

andstudentofcurrentlanguage.

WordsFailMe(HarcourtBrace),PatriciaT.O’Conner.GuidancefromaformercopyeditorattheNewYorkTimes,withparticularlyusefulchaptersonhowtohandlenumbersandwhattodowhenyou’restuck.

SuccessfulDirectMarketingMethods (CrainBooks), Bob Stone. Stillthemostrespectedtextinitsfield.

TheMintoPyramidPrinciple (MintoPublishing),BarbaraMinto.Thecomprehensiveguidetologicinwriting,thinking,andproblemsolving.

Merriam-WebsterCollegiateDictionary,10thed.Therearemanygooddictionaries.Thisistheonlydesk-sizedonewecouldfindthathasbothoftwo useful features: It draws distinctions between similar words (likehumor, wit, comedy, farce, burlesque, travesty) and it discusses puzzlingmattersofusage(suchas“which”vs.“that”).

How to Write for Development (Council for the Advancement andSupport of Education), Henry T. Gayley. A classic that includescontemporarytechniques,butwiththesamecontinuingmessage:“Potentialdonors respond best to a well-stated case expressed in simple, clearlanguage.”

Guide to Proposal Writing (Foundation Center), Jane C. Geever andPatriciaMcNeill.Stepsforsuccessfulproposalwritingtocorporationsandfoundations.

Say It with Charts (McGraw-Hill), Gene Zelazny. Advice on how tothink about charts, and how to choose the kind of chart that’s mostappropriateforyourmessage.

The Economist Style Guide. Includes admonitions that apply toeverydaybusinesswritingaswellastotheprofessionalsonTheEconomiststaff,suchas:

ThefirstrequirementofTheEconomististhatitshouldbereadilyunderstandable.Clarity ofwriting usually follows clarity of thought.Sothinkwhatyouwanttosay,thensayitassimplyaspossible.

Use the language of everyday speech, not that of spokesmen,lawyers,orbureaucrats.

Donotbehectoringorarrogant.Thosewhodisagreewithyouarenot necessarily stupid or insane. Nobody needs to be described assilly:Letyouranalysisprovethatheis.

Don’tboastofyourownclevernessbytellingreadersyoucorrectlypredictedsomethingorthatyouhaveascoop.Youaremorelikelytoboreorirritatethantoimpressthem.…

Theintroductiontothelatesteditionaffirmstheimportanceofgoodwriting:

On only two scores can The Economist outdo its rivalsconsistently.Oneisthequalityofitsanalysis.Theotheristhequalityofitswriting.

Amen.

Acknowledgments

Withthankstoournewe-palsandotherswhocontributedtheirwisdomandexperiencetothisedition:Seth Alpert, John Bernstein, Drayton Bird, Albie Collins, Jim Colosi,

ScottCutler,RonDaniel,TerriDial,DioDipasupil,RonEller,QaziFazal,MannyFernandez,DavidFrieder, FranceGingras,GregHackney,HaroldKahn,MikeKelley, Peter Larson, Giancarlo Livraghi,Murray Low, PeteLupo,DudleyLyons,ToniMaloney,LouiseMcGinnes,KentMitchel,JaneO’Connell, Matthew Raphaelson, Charles Rashall, Chris Reid, MikeReynolds,MikeRoberts,KarenRosa,RandallRothenberg,AngusRussell,JasonSpero,BobStearns,MichaelTrent,DavidVining,RayWareham,BillWright.

ABOUTTHEAUTHORS

Theauthorsworked togetheratOgilvy&MatherWorldwide,amajoradvertisingagencynotedforitsinterestingoodwriting.Theyhavelefttheadvertisingbusinessbutrejoinonprojectslikethis.

KENNETHROMAN,aformerchairmanandCEOofOgilvy,isactiveon corporate and nonprofit boards, where he sees lots of businesswriting—anditsabuse.HeisalsothecoauthorofHowtoAdvertise.

JOELRAPHAELSON,aformerExecutiveCreativeDirectoratOgilvy,ismostly retiredbut rouseshimself from time to time towriteaboutwritingandothersubjects.

The authors also worked together on The Unpublished David Ogilvy,editedbyMr.Raphaelson(andabettedbyMr.Roman).Visitwww.AuthorTracker.comforexclusiveinformationonyourfavorite

HarperCollinsauthor.

PRAISEFORWritingThatWorks,3rdEdition

“Thisisthebestall-purposewritingguideI’veeverseen.”—LAWRENCET.BABBIO,JR.

presidentandCOO,BellAtlanticCorporation

“Effectivewritingskillsareinvaluableintoday’sbusinessworld—butthey’realsoinshortsupply.Inthisconcisebook,KennethRomanandJoelRaphaelsonofferanabundanceofpracticaltipsforhelpingyourwrittenandoralcommunicationsgettheresultsyouwant.”

—WILLIAMC.STEERE,JR.chairmanandCEO,Pfizer,Inc.

“Clear, concise communications that make the right point willlaunch your career or business to new heights. This bookwill showyouhow.”

—ROBERTSEELERTchairman,Saatchi&SaatchiPLC

“In advertising, the challenge is to find the one simple, inspiredthought thatmakesaconsumerbuyaproduct.Thisbookhelpsallofusinthebusinessworldusethesamedisciplinewhenwecommunicateourownthoughtstoeachother.”

—PETERGEORGESCUchairmanemeritus,Young&RubicamInc.

“If youwrite andwant to be understood, you needWriting That

Works. An essential primer on how to communicate and beunderstood,thisbookshouldbeoneverycommunicator’sdesk.”

—PETERLARSONchairmanandchiefexecutive,BrunswickCorporation

“RomanandRaphaelsonhavedoneitagain.Fewpeopleareabletokeepupwiththetimesastheydo.Amust-readforthenewE-mailcrowd.”

—MANNYFERNANDEZchairman,GartnerGroup

“Readthisbook.Writeforaction!”—JEFFREYL.BLEUSTEIN

chairmanandCEO,Harley-Davidson,Inc.

“Ken Roman and Joel Raphaelson’sWriting ThatWorksworks.Whetheryouarewritingabriefe-mailoralengthyreport,itprovidesclearandconciseideasforimprovingyourwrittencommunications.”

—JAYW.LORSCHLouiseE.KirsteinProfessorofHumanRelations,HarvardBusiness

School

PREVIOUSBOOKS

HowtoAdvertisebyKennethRomanandJaneMaas

TheUnpublishedDavidOgilvyEditedbyJoelRaphaelson

Copyright

WRITING THAT WORKS. Copyright © 2000 by Kenneth Roman and JoelRaphaelson.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American CopyrightConventions.Bypaymentoftherequiredfees,youhavebeengrantedthenon-exclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded,decompiled,reverseengineered,orstoredinorintroducedintoanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,inanyformorbyanymeans,whetherelectronicormechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express writtenpermissionofHarperCollinsebooks.

EPubEdition©JUNE2010ISBN:978-0-062-03152-5

FirstQuilleditionpublished2000.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available uponrequest.

ISBN0-06-095643-7

0001020304 /RRD10987654321

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