Writing Realistic Fiction

Bend 3: Meticulous Revision and Precise Edits with Audience in Mind

Session 11: Reading Drafts like Editors

• Most of you are in a really tough place in the writing process. You’re done with your drafts. You’ve done a little revision. You’ve done so well, that we need to focus on your revisions!

• In the professional publishing world, the stage you’re in is often when a good editor steps in. Good editors help a writer locate the places where they can elevate their writing from okay to fantastic.

***The editor that I’m talking about is the type that helps you make decisions about craft, structure, meaning, and word choice, and a lot of that work begins fairly early in the writing process.

*Sometimes I play the role of editor for you. Sometimes your classmates do. Sometimes you will want to be that person for yourself.

Today’s Teaching Point

• Today I’m going to teach you that the best writers are their own best editors.

• Writers can support their drafting and revision work by using tools, such as:

• Checklists

• resources books

• support from peers to ensure that they are working at the highest level.

Active Engagement-Evaluate our Story

• Hand out the Esmerald story – read it aloud – pay particular attention to the ending.

• As you read it, look at the checklist in the areas of elaboration and craft.

I couldn’t take it anymore. As much as I wanted to be liked by them, I didn’t want to be like them if they were going to be mean like this.

“Seriously, guys, you need to check yourselves first,” I said.

“What?” Maeve said, a snarl showing up on her perfect nose.

“Tilly’s my friend. I won’t let you say stuff that’s rude about her,” I said. I wished my voice was louder and stronger, and my face wasn’t burning. But I was glad I was speaking up. I forced my eyes up from the rug to look them in the eyes. They both looked shocked. Liz was leaning all the way forward on the bed now, mouth hanging open.

Turn and Talk

• Evaluate the story together (elaboration and craft).

• Look for the bigger picture. • Look for patterns.

• How can you improve the work?

***Class discussion-What did you notice? What could be improved?

Good Partnerships

• A good partner reads the story with a specific focus on one part of the checklist at a time.

• A good partner helps you clarify your writing to achieve your goals.

• A good partner gives positive constructive feedback. • Example: Compliment so the writer feels you saw what

they were working on and you show how it affected you or moved you as a reader.

• A good partner gives practical advice about something the writer can work on immediately.

Active Engagement-With your partner

• Don’t always write simple sentences!

• Add in some compound sentences too!

• Use compound sentence handout from class.

Example: My teacher loves sentences, and she loves to write them.

***Select one section from each writers draft to read together, using your partnering skills, help them change at least 2 simple sentences into more detailed compound sentences.

Developing Conflict

• Conflict is what makes things more interesting!

• There are all sorts of conflicts that show up in fiction. These are the things that make characters clash so that there’s more tension, more obstacles, more trouble-and all this tension and build like a pressure cooker and just beg to be resolved, one way or another.

Ways to Create Conflict-Handout

• Create characters who don’t like each other.

• Make characters who don’t get along have to be together.

• Highlight family relationships and tensions (mother-daughter, brother-sister, cousins).

• Develop inner conflicts (wanting two different things, wanting one thing, but doing something else).

• Introduce a romance or a crush.

How to Write Compelling Fiction-Look at your Handout

• As you revise (or draft) your stories, keep in mind these points:

• Finish strong-make sure the ending shows what the story is really about, fits the story arc, ties up loose ends.

• Develop or increase conflict (tension, obstacles, trouble-between, among, or within characters).

Homework

• Read through your Google Doc draft

• Do the fire test on each section – even if it is good writing if it doesn’t move the story CUT IT

• Read over and revise your dialogue• Check formatting – new speaker = new

paragraph

• Use dialogue tags to add interest and help us see what is happening

Session 12: Revision-Weaving in Symbolism and Imagery to Bring out

Meaning

• Today’s Teaching Point: Today I want to teach you that fiction writers have tools to clarify the meanings of their stories for their reader. They can spotlight what’s most important by including imagery and symbolism. They do this by focusing on key objects, settings or actions.

Revising to add Imagery• Imagery makes use of particular words that create

a mental picture in our minds. Read the following examples of imagery carefully:

• It was dark and dim in the forest. – The words “dark” and “dim” are visual images.

• The children were screaming and shouting in the fields. - “Screaming” and “shouting” appeal to our sense of hearing or auditory sense.

• Let’s look at a list of ways we can use imagery and symbolism in our stories.

When Fiction Writers Revise to Include Imagery, They…

1. Reflect on what the story is about-the deeper meanings/central ideas/theme

2. Reread the story looking for objects, settings, actions that can be developed with images:• Describe these in detail

• Increase the importance of these to characters

• Repeat these in a few places throughout the story to make them pop for the reader.

3. Reread to make sure that those choices clarify, rather than distract from, the meaning

Now you try…

• Find a few places in your story to include imagery.

• High light the area – then add the new descriptive words.

• Share and Discuss

Add to your How to Write Compelling Fiction anchor chart

• Reflect on deeper meanings/central ideas of your story and consider objects, settings, actions that you can develop as symbols, images or metaphors.

• Metaphors: when you portray a person, place, thing, or an action as being something else, even though it is not actually that “something else,”

• Examples:

• My brother was boiling mad. (This implies he was too angry.)

• The assignment was a breeze. (This implies that the assignment was not difficult.)

Plan for your work today:

• Refer back to this anchor chart to help you draft, plan and revise your writing today.

• For work time today, try to add:• Do the fire test – and cut out the extra

• Look over your dialogue – New speaker = New paragraph

• Add descriptive tags before and after dialogue

• One moment that shows imagery

• One metaphor to your draft

• Increase the conflict

Session 13-Conducting the Rhythm of Language-Creating Cadence and

Meaning through Syntax

• Listen to two songs and as you listen jot in your notebook: • Things you notice (the rhythm differences in each song)

• The effects the music has on you

The Fox

At Last

***Turn and Talk!

Today’s Teaching Point

• Today I’m going to teach you that sentences are the instruments of writing.

• Different types of sentences create different kinds of sounds and bring in different kinds of meaning.

• Writers can affect the rhythm and meaning of their stories by crafting sentences of different lengths and types.

Sentence Length, Rhythm and Meaning

• Just like when you were listening to music a minute ago, and you noticed different effects each rhythm had on you and how the speed of the beats and the tone of each song affected your mood, writing can do that too!

• Sentences (varied length) play a role in the sound-cadence-of your piece and convey and effect (mood or meaning)

• Short sentences read quickly. When you use a bunch together the piece moves faster. This could be used to build suspense or tension.

• Longer sentences read slowly. This allows the reader to gather more information through complex descriptions. They are also used to slow down the action (the exciting part)

Experiment Time!James climbed up onto the table and started to make his way to the step stool.

-Lots of information here-slows down the action- I want to be clear that in one quick motion, James climbed-without thinking.

James clambered onto the table. He jumped onto the stool. It wobbled. He shimmied. Then he went for it. He reached for the chandelier.

-Reads much faster

-We see how impulsive he is

-Climbed was replaced with clambered (brings out his jerky, clumsy action)

Your turn…

• Find a place in your draft where you want the action to move a little faster, or for it to be a little jerkier

• Locate that section and write a shorter version of it, or break it down into a few shorter sentences in your notebook.

Your Turn…

• Select another section of your draft that you need to add details to, slow down the rhythm of

• In your Google Doc, re-write that section making it longer and more detailed.

• Try adding compound sentences!

• Add phrases (I sighed.)

Last Step!

• Now let’s look at entire paragraph of a story and shorten appropriate areas and lengthen other appropriate areas.

• “So, Esme,” Maeve interrupted. She was looking at me, calling me a much cooler version of my name than I was used to.

• I couldn’t help myself, I smiled. She had given me a cool nickname. It was almost like we were friends. My eyes left the spot on the carpet I had been staring at and looked at Maeve. “Yeah?” I said, in what I hoped was my coolest voice.• 1st sentence-dialogue moves it along

• 2nd sentence-I think Esmeralda would reflect more. (perfect spot to slow it down and tuck in her reflection!)

• “So, Esme,” Maeve interrupted. She was looking at me, calling me a much cooler version of my name than I was used to.

• She was looking at me-Maeve, the most popular girl in school, the one who I had wanted to be friends with for a long time, calling me a much cooler version of my name that I was used to.• Now, the next sentence feels like it needs to be

shorter to break up the rhythm. Esmeralda might also feel a little shocked by how she’s feeling (fast feeling)fast sentence!

• I couldn’t help myself, I smiled.

You Try!

• Look for a larger section of text in your draft with meaning, description or action (or all 3) and change it to make it better.

• Ask yourself: Is this sentence the right length? Does it say enough? Does it say too much? How does it sound?

How to Write Compelling Fiction

• Listen to the rhythm and pacing of your sentences, then craft sentences of varying lengths and types to create the intended meaning, feeling and mood.

Work Time!• Use what we just discussed to revise your story on

your Google Doc.

• Change the rhythm – look for places to speed up the action with short sentences

• Look for places to slow down the action with details and description• Do the fire test – and cut out the extra

• Look over your dialogue – New speaker = New paragraph

• Add descriptive tags before and after dialogue

• One moment that shows imagery

• One metaphor to your draft

• Increase the conflict

Reading Workshop

• Send your most recent draft to your partner.

• Re-read the story. Don’t make revisions or edits. Instead read the story and mark sections that make you feel something

• When you get your draft back, look over what they wrote. Did they feel how they hoped you would feel? If not, make changes to that section!

Exit Post-it

• Put your name on the post-it

• Share the section of your draft you are most proud of.

• Explain why you are proud• Did you craft a compelling image?

• Did you spin a fancy phrase?

• Did you evoke an emotional response?

Post it to the white board!

Conferring and Small Group Work: Said is Dead

• Dialogue Tags: the words that come before or after a piece of dialogue so that the reader knows who said what.

• Great words: muttered, stated, queried, replied, wondered, uttered.

• You can still use the word said, but try to use some of the other tags as well!

Conferring and Small Group Work: Using Commas to Separate

Coordinate Adjectives • Compound sentences need commas, but so do coordinate

adjectives.

• Coordinate adjectives are adjectives placed together in a sentence to describe the same noun.

• Examples:• It was an ugly, large cockroach.

• I found the cockroach on a sunny, beautiful day.

***If you can insert the word ‘and’ in between them and it still makes sense, you need a comma. (It was an ugly and large cockroach.) Or if you switch the order and it makes sense, you need a comma. (It was a large and ugly cockroach.)

***I hate those itchy wool pants. I hate those itchy and wool pants (doesn’t make sense! So no comma! This is a cumulative adjective).

Today…

• Is your final day of revision!

• Use the revision strategies we’ve discussed to strengthen your draft! Use your chart to double check that you’ve thought about all of them.

• Check to see if your meaning, truth, theme is in your story!

• Check once again your writing goals. Have you met them?

Tomorrow…

• We move into editing!

• Homework: • 1. Finish revising your story.

• 2. Have someone else read your story and pull out the message (theme)

• 3. If they can’t find the message, fix your story so that it is clear.

Session 16: Editing with Lenses and Independence

• Turn to a fresh page in your notebooks. I’m going to give you ten seconds to look around this classroom and then I’m going to ask you to do something. Take in as much information as you can when you look.

• Now, list absolutely everything you just saw in your notebook!

Repeat with Literature as your Focus

• Look around the room with the lens of literature. Look for 10 seconds with a focus on literature.

• List everything literature that you saw!

Another Lens

• Look through the lens of furniture…

• List everything you saw.

Last Lens

• Look through the lens of people.

• List everything you saw.

• Turn and talk with your partner about all four lists you just made.

• Remember that lenses are powerful. When we try to look at everything, we inevitably miss something. When we look with lenses, even many times, we can see so much more!

Teaching Point

• Today I want to teach you that writers can use lenses in their writing, to study things for them to work on, such as editing.

• One way they do that is to pick an area where they will likely need help and sweep through their piece looking for and bettering those places.

You are now editors!

• With your partner, read a section of this students story. Read it once, checking for and fixing end punctuation. Then read it again fixing tenses. Then do a final check for commas.

• In your notebooks copy this and then do the above assignment.

When I got home know one is home but my oldest brother Jason. So when I got home I had my snack did my homework and then watched tv untill my got home. By the time mom got home it was 6:30. So she had made dinnier told me to take a shower and by 9:30 it was bedtime and I said okay. 9:30 came I said good night to everyone and I set my alarm and I fell asleep.

Work Time!

• As you begin working on editing your own story, remember that we need to take this job very seriously! You need to read your story multiple times

• each time with a different lens!

• Check for the following:• Punctuation

• Spelling

• Does it make sense?

Share

• Your finished stories are due Monday!

• Review your piece against the Grade 7 Narrative Writing Checklist, asking, “Did I do ______, and did I do it well?

• Fix any last minute things!

• Again, your pieces are due tomorrow!

• Re-send your story to me and print a copy!

• Make sure you give your story a title!

• Be prepared to read your story out loud to small groups of classmates to celebrate your accomplishment!

Session 17: Publishing Anthologies!!!

• Take the first few minutes of class to make sure you’ve sent your final story copy to me and print a copy!

• We’ve assigned you to small reading circles in which you will share your entire story much like real authors do at their book parties!

• After you listen to a story being read, complete the handout titled “Critics Agree” for each author and give it to the author to review. • Example: Critic’s Agree that the book Hunger Games by

Suzanne Collins, is an exciting twist on post-Apocalyptic society.