I have selected this poem for inclusion because it is my favourite poem, and I believe it is the best poem that I wrote. Both of the lines ‘merciless, majestic’ and ‘painful, peaceful’ are opposites, there’s repetition, and there is lots of alliteration. Each word was carefully chosen and thought-provoking. The poem tells the story of war and death.

The target audience for this poem is adults of both genders, as kids don’t understand the horrors of war. Granted, I don’t really understand either as I have never experienced war first or even second-hand, but my favourite genre of books is historical fiction, so I’ve read many books about it.

I have not made any changes since I handed it in to the Culminating Box. The main technique I attempted to use is alliteration, which I believe I used effectively. Every line with more than one word has alliteration. All of the words start with the same letter, except for the lines ‘shoot, fight, shout’, and ‘scream, fall, surrender’, however the lines are repeated with the beginning of the words being ‘S, F, S,’.

This piece of writing represents my growth because it tells a story, and my development as a writer over this course is a story. I started out having written hardly anything in my life, other than the few and far between assignments we are assigned throughout highschool. Now I have written many poems and stories, all of which I am proud of and enjoyed writing.

War

destructive, deadly

shoot, fight, shout

battle, brothers, bullets, blood

scream, fall, surrender

painful, peaceful

death

War

War

merciless, majestic

shoot, fight, shout

battle, brothers, bullets, bloodshed

scream, fall, surrender

painful, peaceful

Death

Original:

Injustice

Have you heard about Burundi?Three in four people are hungry, butThere is enough food to feed everyone.There is more money spent on war than food.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about Pakistan?There are over 18 million slaves, butThey must work for generations to repay small loans.There are more slaves today than in all of history.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about Bolivia?Hundreds of children are abused every day, butThe public justice system does not have the capacity to hold perpetrators accountable, keeping children vulnerable.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about North Korea?Thousands of Christians have lost their lives, butReligious groups formed by the government existTo provide the illusion of religious freedom.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about North America?We believe that OUR lives are unfair, butWe only think of ourselves.“I want, I need, me, me, me!”How do you help these people find their justice?

Injustice

Have you heard about Africa?Three in four people are hungry, butThere is enough food to feed everyone.There is more money spent on war than food.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about Pakistan?There are over 18 million slaves, butThey must work for generations to repay small loans.There are more slaves today than in all of history.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about Bolivia?Hundreds of children are abused every day, butThe public justice system does not have the capacity to hold perpetrators accountable.This emboldens the perpetrators and keeps children vulnerable to repeated abuse.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about North Korea?Thousands of Christians have lost their lives, butReligious groups formed by the government existTo provide the illusion of religious freedom.Where is their justice?

Have you heard about North America?We believe that OUR lives are unfair, butWe only think of ourselves.“I want, I need, me, me, me!”How do you help these people find their justice?

Original:

This is the fourth piece I created for the portfolio. I decided to put it second because it’s another poem. The target audience is for all North Americans, ages 10 and up.

I’ve made a couple of changes since I put it onto the discussion board for the fourth piece. I changed Africa specifically to Burundi. Not only does this increase the number of people who are hungry, but I name a specific country instead of a continent. All of the other places are countries except for North America, and this emphasizes North America as a whole being far too conceited, thinking the whole world revolves around them. I also shortened the lines “The public justice system does not have the capacity to hold perpetrators accountable./This emboldens the perpetrators and keeps children vulnerable to repeated abuse.” In the Bolivia stanza, because I thought they were way too long and didn’t match up with the rest of the poem. I tried to shorten them while still having the same effect as the longer lines.

I attempted to use repetition in my poem. Every first line begins with “Have you heard about ______”, and I end every stanza with “Where is their justice?” except for the last stanza to make a point. In the second line of every stanza I also end with “..., but” to make a point and make the reader want to read on. I also attempted to use pathos to persuade the reader’s emotions. I did this by showing the lives of people around the world, then by figuratively slapping North Americans in the face.

Finally, this piece of writing represents maturity in my overall growth and development. It’s a free verse poem, which I had trouble with the first time, and it’s a more mature topic.

Surgery

“Hello, welcome to Tim Horton's. What would you like this fine afternoon m'dear?” the cashier asked, flashing his smile at the little patient, just six years old, noticing her wrist band that notified the staff she was the patient. The thin, yellow, hospital gown also gave it away. Skyla looked at all of the baked goods, wide-eyed, her eye catching on the big blue blueberries.

“Blueberry muffin please!” exclaimed Skyla with glee.

“Make that two, plus a coffee for me please,” said Skyla's mum Laura.

“Good choice, they're my favourite. That'll come to $4.84,” the cashier said. His old cracked fingers were stretching across the till, typing away at the buttons. He waddled over to retrieve their blueberry muffins and the coffee, then wished them all the best.

“We're going to take these up to the waiting room, then you can eat your muffin there Ok Skyla?” said Laura.

“Ok!” Skyla grabbed her mum's hand as they headed towards the yellow-encased glass elevators that led them up to the eighth floor. Skyla made sure to walk on the little painted footprints on the floor that led them to the elevators, slowing both of them down. Laura didn't mind though they had lots of time before Skyla's surgery. They arrived at the elevators, Skyla pressed the shiny button with the up arrow on it, and they walked in. This was Skyla's favourite part. She loved zooming up the many floors, the feeling of her heart in her stomach, watching the people on the ground getting smaller and smaller. They walked out of the elevator and followed the route to the clinic they had tread upon so many times before; the slippery and unforgiving hard ground, the smooth, round railing following them all the way to the clinic, and the cold white light shining above. They arrived at the reception desk, and Skyla went straight to the TV to watch TVO Kids. Meanwhile Laura went over to the reception desk to check in. Skyla meandered through all the parents to join the rest of the children who were sitting on the couch watching Arthur. Skyla was so entranced watching the screen that she hardly noticed her mother calling to her.

“Sweetie, can you come here for a moment?” asked Laura.

“Yes mummy,” replied Skyla, walking over to the couches where her mum was sitting.

“Do you remember why we're here?” Laura inquired, looking expectantly at her daughter.

“Yes, I'm having a surgery.” Laura smiled, picked up her little daughter, and placed her carefully on her lap, hugging her.

“Yes you are. A special doctor is going to come to help you fall asleep. Do you remember what the most important thing to be is?”

“Brave.”

“That's right. Remember, being brave isn't about not being scared, it's about being scared but still having the courage to do something.”

“I'm not scared mummy.”

“I know honey, you're my little warrior.” Just then, a nurse called Skyla's name over the loudspeakers, calling her to the IV Room. A nice young woman popped out from around the counter and asked Skyla and Laura to follow her. When they got to the IV Room she told them to sit, with Skyla on Laura's lap. Skyla couldn't believe how pretty the paintings were on the wall. There were bright, beautiful colours that meshed together to create a scene from a rainforest. The trees even carried on up the wall to be on the ceiling. The lady tied a small elastic tightly around Skyla's upper arm and asked her to make a fist. The lady then started to tap two fingers around on Skyla's hand, feeling for a vein. Skyla's arm started to feel heavy, but then the lady rubbed something cool on Skyla's hand, which dissolved quickly.

“Skyla, I have a gift for you,” Laura said. She pulled out a stuffed bear from her bag and gave it to Skyla. “He's very sorry he couldn't come today. He had a very important business meeting that he couldn't miss. He picked this out especially for you because of its name.” Skyla hugged the bear with her free arm and buried her face into the soft brown fur.

“What's its name mummy?” Skyla asked.

“Bernadette. It means Brave Bear. It's perfect for you isn't it?”

“Yes, I love it!” Skyla exclaimed.

“Ok Skyla, I want you to look at all the animals on that wall over there. Can you tell me how many there are?” the nice lady said. When Skyla started to count, a cold needle pierced through Skyla's flesh. Skyla shrieked and tried to pull her hand back, but her mum was holding her too tightly. She started crying, she had never felt something that painful before. Before she knew it, the lady had stuck a tube in her hand and started taping it up so it wouldn't move. By then the pain was dissipating, and the tears were few and far between.

“You were very brave Skyla, did you count how many animals there were on the wall?”

“No.”

“That's alright. There's only one more part left. I'm just going to be putting some fluid into your veins. It's going to feel cold, and you may feel a little funny but it won't hurt, I promise.”

“Ok,” Skyla said, but it was barely a whisper. The lady pulled out a large needle, placed it in the tube, and pressed down. It felt really funny, like a freezing cold liquid was slowly being poured into her body. She could feel go through her hand, then up her arm, and from there she couldn't tell where it went.

“All done,” the lady said. It was at this point that a man walked into the room with a cap on and a mask over his face.

“Hello, I'm Doctor Frost, and I'll be carrying out the surgery today, Are you ready Skyla?” he asked. Skyla thought for a moment, thought of everything that had happened today. She looked at the baby chimpanzee smiling at her on the wall. If that chimpanzee can be brave, she thought, then I should be as well. Besides, I have my stuffed bear to keep with me! Skyla smiled up at Doctor Frost and confidently said

“Yes!” The doctor took a hold of her hand and led her down the hall. Skyla turned around and noticed that her mum had a worried look on her face. She slid her hand out of Doctor Frost's grip and ran over to her mum.

“Here you go,” Skyla said, giving Laura her bear, “Now you won't be scared!” She ran back to Doctor Frost, and they started on their way again.

“You know,” said the nice lady, “Everything will be ok, you really don't need to be worried”

“I know,” Laura said, “My daughter taught me that.”

I have selected this piece for inclusion because I believe it is the most life-like and realistic out of all the short stories I wrote. I believe it has the best images and dialogue.

The target audience for this short story is for the children and the parents who go to the hospital. It’s for both long-time and short-time patients and their families. It should bring hope to people and should help them through their medical journey.

The main change I made to this piece was the inclusion of the stuffed animal and the father. As you said, the father is usually present with big things like this, it’s just been a while since I went through it, so I had forgotten. I didn’t want to re-write the whole story to include the father, so I explained he was away, which gave me the opportunity to bring in the stuffed bear. The bear not only gives me a chance to talk about the father, but it helps me to develop the theme of bravery, as Bernadette does actually mean Brave Bear, which is more than perfect for the story.

The main technique I wanted to focus on was making the setting an important part to the story. I think I did this effectively because the reader can hear, see, touch, smell, and even taste the two different settings that are in the story.

Overall, this represents my progress in the course. It went from just a simple idea and developed into a short story. It’s the same with this course. I just started with the idea of doing Writer’s Craft, not expecting to be very good at anything, to writing many different pieces over the past five months.

ORIGINAL:

Surgery

“Hello, welcome to Tim Horton’s, what would you like this fine afternoon m’dear?” the cashier asked, flashing his smile at the little patient, just six years old, noticing her wrist band that had notified the staff she was the patient. The thin yellow hospital gown also gave it away. Skyla looked at all of the baked goods, wide-eyed, her eye catching on the big blue blueberries.

“Blueberry muffin please!” exclaimed Skyla with glee.

“Make that two, plus a coffee for me please,” said Skyla’s mum Laura.

“Good choice, they’re my favourite. That’ll come to $4.84,” the cashier said, his old cracked fingers stretching across the till, typing away at the buttons. He waddled over to retrieve their blueberry muffins and the coffee, then wished them all the best.

“We’re going to take these up to the waiting room, then you can eat your muffin there Ok Skyla?” said Laura.

“Ok!” Skyla grabbed her mum’s hand as they headed towards the yellow-encased glass elevators that led them up to the eighth floor. Skyla made sure to walk on the little painted footprints on the floor that led them to the elevators, slowing both of them down. Laura didn’t mind though, they had lots of time before Skyla’s surgery. They arrived to the elevators, Skyla pressed the shiny button with the up arrow on it, and they walked in. This was Skyla’s favourite part. She loved zooming up the many floors, the feeling of her heart in her stomach, watching the people on the ground getting smaller and smaller. They walked out of the elevator and followed the route to the clinic they had treaded upon so many times before; The slippery and unforgiving hard ground, the smooth, round railing following them all the way to the clinic, and the cold white light up above. They arrived to the reception desk, and Skyla went to go watch TVO Kids which was playing on TV whilst Laura went to check in. Skyla meandered through all the parents to join the rest of the children who were sitting on the couch watching Arthur. Skyla was so entranced watching the screen that she hardly noticed her mother calling to her.

“Sweetie, can you come here for a moment?” asked Laura.

“Yes mummy,” replied Skyla, walking over to the couches where her mum was sitting.

“Do you remember why we’re here?” Laura inquired, looking expectantly at her daughter.

“Yes, I’m having surbery,” Laura smiled, picked up her little daughter, and placed her carefully on her lap, hugging her.

“It’s called surgery love. A special doctor is going to come to help you fall asleep. Do you remember what the most important thing to be is?”

“Brave.”

“That’s right. Remember, being brave isn’t about not being scared, it’s about being scared but still having the courage to do something.”

“I’m not scared mummy.”

“I know honey, you’re my little warrior.” Just then, the announcers called Skyla’s name over the loudspeakers, calling her to the IV Room. A nice young woman popped out from around the counter and

asked Skyla and Laura to follow her. When they got to the IV Room she told them to sit, with Skyla on Laura’s lap. Skyla couldn’t believe how pretty the paintings were on the wall. There were bright, beautiful colours that meshed together to create a scene from a rainforest. The trees even carried on up the wall to be on the ceiling. The lady tied a small elastic tightly around Skyla’s upper arm and asked her to make a fist. The lady then started to tap two fingers around on Skyla’s hand, feeling for a vein. Skyla’s arm started to feel heavy, but then the lady rubbed something cool on Skyla’s hand, which dissolved quickly.

“Ok Skyla, I want you to look at all the animals on that wall over there. Can you tell me how many there are?” the nice lady said. When Skyla started to count, a cold needle pierced through Skyla’s flesh. Skyla shrieked, tried to pull her hand back, but her mum was holding her too tightly. She started crying, she had never felt something that painful before. Before she knew it, the lady had stuck a tube in her hand and started taping it up so it wouldn’t move. By then the pain was dissipating, and the tears were few and far between.

“You were very brave Skyla, did you count how many animals there were on the wall?”

“No.”

“That’s alright. There’s only one more part left. I’m just going to be putting some fluid into your veins. It’s going to feel cold, and you may feel a little funny but it won’t hurt, I promise.”

“Ok,” Skyla said, but it was barely a whisper. The lady pulled out a large needle, placed it in the tube, and pressed down. It felt really funny, like a freezing cold liquid was slowly being poured into her body. She could feel go through her hand, then up her arm, and from there she couldn’t tell where it went.

“All done,” the lady said. It was at this point that a man walked into the room with a cap on and a mask over his face.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Frost, and I’ll be carrying out the surgery today, Are you ready Skyla?” he asked. Skyla thought for a moment, thought of everything that had happened today. She looked at the baby chimpanzee smiling at her on the wall. If that chimpanzee can be brave, she thought, then I should be as well. Skyla smiled up at Doctor Frost and exclaimed

“Yes!” The doctor took a hold of her hand and led her down the hall. Laura had a worried look on her face, but the nice lady told her everything would be Ok.

“I know,” Laura said, “My daughter taught me that.”

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Bucky the Beaver

Written By: Amelia BakerArtwork By:

“WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CRAZY BEAVERS?" I heard Jack the Lumberjack yell from somewhere in the forest. "STOP CUTTIN' DOWN MY TREES FOR YOUR DAMS! YOU MIGHT HAVE ESCAPED THIS TIME, BUT I'M GONNA FIND YOUR DAM AND DESTROY IT!”

I was hiding in my room in my dam with my mum, listening to Jack.

“Mum, do you think Jack will ever find us? I asked.

“I hope not sweetie, though I don’t think he will. He’s been threatening us ever since we started cutting down his trees.” replied my mum.

“What would we do if he did find us and destroy the dam though?” I asked, starting to get worried.

“We would just have to rebuild the dam somewhere else,” she answered. “It wouldn’t take too long. I need to go make dinner now, how about you get a start on your homework?”

“Ok mum,” I mumbles as she left. I love my home I’ve lived in it my whole life. If Jack were to come and destroy it with his digger, I wouldn’t know what I would do. It just wouldn’t be the same having a whole new dam.

It just wouldn’t be the same having a whole new dam. I know I need to find Jack and find out how to fix this problem. Maybe we can go to a different part of the forest that Jack doesn’t own to cut down the trees. It’s just that Jack has the best trees for making homes. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know I need to do something.

I decided to sneak out of the dam to go and find Jack to apologize to him. I realized fifteen minutes into the journey that I had no idea where he lived, so I knew I had to ask someone for directions. I saw the tribal chief of Ojibwe, Chief Wopatok, and decided to ask him.

“Excuse me, Chief Wopatok?”“Yes Bucky?”“Do you know how to get to Jack’s

house?”“Of course I do! You must travel East

through the forest, and you’ll eventually hit the highway. It will be the only house that’s made entirely out of wood. You can’t miss it.”

“Ok thanks!”

“You’re welcome Bucky, I wish you well on your journey,” he said warmly. I started on my adventure. It only took me one hour to get through the forest, and I spotted Jack’s house right away. Chief Wopatok was right, it was impossible to miss. I was just about to cross the highway when I spotted a wolf. I had never seen one before in my life, but mum had always told me to be weary of the fluffy dog-like animal with the wide face, beady eyes, and pointy nose. I wasn’t sure how I was going to sneak past him, but luckily he spotted a rabbit and chased after it instead. I ran as quickly as I could to Jack’s house.

I walked up to Jack’s house and knocked on the door. A crazed man immediately opened the door by kicking it down because he was holding on to an axe with both of his hands. The door just missed me.

“What do you want, and more importantly, who are you?” Asked Jack, yelling slightly.

“My name is Bucky the Beaver...” I tried to say.

“Hold it right there. Are you the beaver who’s been cutting down all my trees?” Accused Jack.

“Yes, but...” I started to say again.“But what? But nothing, that’s what.

Those are MY trees beaver; you’re making it a little difficult to do my job.”

“I know,” I confessed, “But it’s just you have the best trees in the whole forest, and...” Jack stood up a little taller, proud of the fact that I thought they were the best trees in the forest.

“Do you really think so?” Jack interrupted again.

“Of course I do! Every beaver knows that. The red oakes are the perfect foundation because they’re nice and strong, and the cedar branches are perfect for keeping the dam dry and soft!” I said. Jack suddenly looked a little less crazed at the compliment.

“Well thank-you for saying that Bucky, but if you keep cutting down the trees as fast as you are, there won’t be any trees in my part of the forest left!” he exclaimed.

“What if we only cut down one tree a week?” I asked, thinking that that’s six less trees a week to cut down.

“That would be perfect,” Jack responded, “It’s settles then. You can keep cutting down my trees, but only one tree a week from now on.”

“Sounds good!” I said. I couldn’t wait to go home and tell my mum. I ran all the way home to tell her the good news. As soon as I walked in the door she hurried over and sat me down.

“Where have you been Bucky? I was so worried about you!”

“I went to apologize to Jack mum! I couldn’t stand there being a fight between us, I had to make things right!”

“And?”“And it worked! He won’t be

threatening us again, as long as we only cut down on tree down a week from now

“Well, we can manage with that. I’m very proud of you Bucky. Just don’t go sneaking out again ok?”

“Ok mum. I won’t, I promise.”“Good. Now let’s eat dinner in peace

shall we?” mum smiled, sat down, then started to eat. We never heard from Jack again.

Bucky the Beaver

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CRAZY BEAVERS?" I heard Jack the Lumberjack yell from somewhere in

the forest, "STOP CUTTIN' DOWN MY TREES FOR YOUR DAMS! YOU MIGHT HAVE ESCAPED THIS

TIME, BUT I'M GONNA FIND YOUR DAM AND DESTROY IT!”

I was hiding in my room in my dam with my mum, listening to Jack.

“Mum, do you think Jack will ever find us?” I asked.

“I hope not sweetie, but I don't think he will. Our dam is fairly hidden amongst the trees.” replied my

mum.

“What would we do if he did find us and destroy the dam though?” I asked, starting to get worried.

“We would just have to rebuild the dam somewhere else,” she answered “It wouldn't take too long. I

need to go make dinner now, how about you get a start on your homework?”

“Ok mum.” I said as she left. I love my home. I've lived in it my whole life. If Jack were to come and

destroy it with his digger, I wouldn't know what I would do. It just wouldn't be the same having a whole new

dam. I know I need to find Jack and find out how to fix this problem. Maybe we can go to a different part of

the forest that Jack doesn't own to cut down the trees. It's just that Jack has the best trees for making homes. I

don't know what I'm going to do, but I know I need to do something.

I decided to sneak out of the dam to go and find Jack to apologize to him. I realized fifteen minutes

into the journey that I had no idea where he lived, so I knew I had to ask someone for directions. I saw Chief

Wopatok, and decided to ask him.

“Excuse me, Chief Wopatok?”

“Yes Bucky?”

“Do you know how to get to Jack's house?”

“Of course I do! You must travel East through the forest, and you'll eventually hit the highway. It will

be the only house that's made entirely out of wood. You can't miss it.”

I have selected this piece for inclusion mainly because it’s the assignment I handed into Dropbox for the Children’s Stories unit, and because it’s the only full children’s story I wrote. Since this is a children’s story, the target audience would be 5-9 year olds of both genders.

I have made quite a few changes since I submitted this piece. First of all, I fixed the punctuation mistakes, in which there were many. I hinted slightly at a back story, saying that the threats have been coming from Jack for quite some time. I also specified who the Chief was. Finally, I added another character to Bucky’s journey.

The main technique I used was character depth. In my short story I focused on dialogue and setting, so I decided to focus on Bucky’s character for this particular story. I had a reason for Bucky wanting to apologize, something that was rooted deep inside of him. This makes him more relatable and a more interesting character.

This piece represents the end of my writing career in highschool, but the start of it in University. It has been, and will be a journey just like Bucky’s from now on. I need I’ll need my Chief Wopatoks in my writing career to help me along the way. I also know I’ll have my own wolves to face. I know however that I’ll always have my family to count on when I go back home.

Original:

“Ok, thanks!”

“You're welcome Bucky, I wish you well on your journey.” he said warmly. I started on my adventure. It

only took me one hour to get through the forest, and I spotted Jack's house right away. Chief Wopatok was right, it

was impossible to miss.

I walked up to Jack's house and knocked on the door. A crazed man immediately opened the door by

kicking it down because he had an axe in both hands. The door just missed me.

“What do you want, and more importantly, who are you?” asked Jack, yelling slightly.

“My name is Bucky the Beaver…” I tried to say.

“Hold it right there. Are you the beaver who's been cutting down all my trees?” accused Jack.

“Yes, but…” I started to say again.

“But what? But nothing, that's what. Those are MY trees beaver; you're making it a little difficult to do my job.”

“I know,” I confessed, “But it's just you have the best trees in the whole forest, and...” Jack stood up a little taller, proud of the fact that I thought they were the best trees in the forest.

“Do you really think so?” Jack interrupted again.

“Of course I do! Every beaver knows that.” I said. Jack suddenly looked a little less crazed at the