workbook Intro and Relationships - Learning YMCA …learning.ymca.ca/LMS/0/492/LE/5b51292a-2acb-483e-8c6c-e44765c8f3f4...INTRO TO YMCA PLAYING TO LEARN and RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE KEY

INTRO TO YMCA PLAYING TO LEARN and RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE KEY

Reflection Exercise #1 Read the following story and reflect upon the change that this program went through and the process that they might have experienced.

An Educator's Story: From Chaos to Calm On a morning like any other, I was bringing a small group of six children upstairs. I set the bucket of journals down as a few children trotted over to the big wooden blocks, while others headed straight to the dramatic play kitchen area. A block construction was started, dresses were put on and I could hear, “Let’s make a spaceship!“ and an “Okay, and I’ll be the mommy and you be the sister, okay?” along with “No, I’ll be a mommy too.” I walked over to the cd player and popped in my favorite Vivaldi Four Seasons. As I did, I noticed two more sets of little feet trundling up the stairs. One of the new arrivals asked to join the block play and the other pulled out a basket and began to play by himself. Ahhh, relaxing music and calm children. A flood of memories flew across my mind. A short time ago, this was not like every other morning. Instead there were Care Plans, “emergency” meetings to deal with those requiring Care Plans, the frustration, the rising blood pressure, new things to say, new things not to say, the increasing/decreasing patience, not enough cleaning getting done, why isn’t so-and-so having this problem with that child! All of this was suddenly replaced, and especially well this particular morning, by a palpable feeling of smooth, relaxed and engaging play. At that moment, the phrase “social emotional environment” suddenly made physical sense to me. It was as plain as day as I stood there watching children really looking at each other while asking a question; waiting for an answer; asking for a turn; asking if their drama could go in a new direction, etc. Some ideas were accepted and some weren’t. But either way, it was quietly and comfortably okay. The words “mine” and “my” were conspicuously absent. Instead, children were using the words they had been taught to use when an unpleasant situation arose. And these words were finally working! The connections had been made and the vocabulary had been integrated enough to give the children solutions to their common problems instead of grabbing, whining, crying, lying and incessantly coming to an educator to have him or her solve their dilemmas for them. Standing there, I could feel a flow to the room. Not a cheesy, professional “word of the month” flow, but just the sensation of children interested in and able to choose an area, move to a new one, interact with their peers or just play on their own. I guess it was kind of like standing in the middle of an intersection just watching all the cars and trucks go by, doing what they were off to do, leaving me temporarily superfluous. Temporarily, of course, as soon I would be play partnering again and eating pretend soup, helping to build a flying pod racer or laying railway tracks.


The moment of not being needed anywhere gave me an opportunity to remember the work that had been done to get here (here, meaning so much beyond where we were just a few months ago). Work that was often a step forward then a step back or maybe even two steps back. Ideas were incorporated, built upon, rejected or used to move on to a completely new idea. New vocabulary was offered, old vocabulary disallowed. There was vocabulary to be used less and other vocabulary that was to be used more. Ideas were offered that meant catching ourselves or each other not using the ‘”right/new” words. Ideas that slowly sank in as they began to work. Ideas that were great as I was just happy to try something new and happier still when the words clicked with the children. The change in vocabulary helped control damage and pre-empted problems that had seemed inevitable before. Words that helped little children say what they were feeling were words that kept things between us and the little devils that know how to push our buttons (consciously or not) sweet enough to give positive attention to, etc. Yup, it wasn’t the prettiest process and it certainly in no way came off without a hitch. It was a conscious, daily act of teamwork and it slowly removed the hitches, one by one. It replaced negative time with positive time (if not simply neutral time) and replaced negative social space with open possibility and positive tools for children to take advantage of. And thus, it gave us new daily experiences far beyond what we had been able to provide not so long ago. Ryan Record your reflections here:


Reflection Exercise #2 After watching the video: Parent Engagement What is it? Brainstorm 2 new ideas that you can try to increase parent engagement on a regular basis and demonstrate to parents and children that you value diversity in your program.


Reflection Exercise #3 The power of our work is building brains through LOVE, through strong relationships. Write a list in your notebook listing all the KIND actions that you do on a daily basis to Build Brains through LOVE. i.e. Hug children, greet them when they arrive etc… For more information about brain development, neuroscience and brain based learning, read Chapter 1 Section B or YMCA Playing to Learn 2nd Edition. Record your answers below.


Reflection Exercise #4 Take a minute to look at these children. The photo on the left was taken off the internet. How do you think the child in this photo is feeling? What do you think of this adult’s image of the child? The adult’s image of the child impacts how the child sees themselves too. And certainly both the adult’s image of the child and the child’s image of him or herself affects their relationship. What do you think the boy on the ground is thinking about his caregiver? Do you think he’s developing a positive image of himself and his ability to keep himself in control and safe? The photo on the right is of a 4 year old at the beach. She is playing and she is near open water. How do you think this child is feeling? How do you think her caregivers view her? Jot down in your workbooks ideas about your image of these two children. Also add in some statements that you think the children may be thinking to themselves


Reflection Exercise #5 Self reflection is key to our success as educators. For example, do you see yourself as a ‘teacher’ or an ‘educator’? There is sometimes a difference in how we think we’re being perceived and how others perceive us. We need to consider if there is a disconnect between how we think we’re behaving and how people perceive us. Bring to mind your least favourite teacher or coach. Write down 3 qualities of theirs that come to mind. When you are finished, return to the training and click the LEAST FAVOURITE BUTTON. Next bring to mind your favourite teacher, coach – write down 3 qualities that they had. When you are finished, click the FAVOURITE button.


Reflection Exercise #6 For the next few minutes, reflect on how the children respond to you –how do they perceive you most of the time? Be honest with yourself. We must be honest with ourselves about how children view us if we’re going to change. Place yourself where you think they see you along this continuum most of the time: Dictator/tell me what to do Police/Surveillance Supporter/guide Friend/ buddy Consider your language and your tone of voice. Do you use the phrases “You need to…. “ or “I need you to….” often? When we use these phrases – who has the power? You – the adult, the dictator – we’re not asking for cooperation – we are demanding something….. From now on, try and catch yourself and ban “You need to” and “I need you to” from your vocabulary! Trip over some new phrases for a while until you are comfortable ….. We are the YMCA – we are ALL about building relationships with people. This is the starting point! Monitor yourself for the next week. Are the children reacting to you by hiding their behaviour, scared of punishment or consequences, blaming each other or are they coming to you for help, to get them things, inviting you to play. Also, ask your co-workers – how do they think children view you? If you are at one end of the continuum more often than you are in the middle, then accept this so you can change it… Remember we can’t grow and change unless we are honest with ourselves about where we are now.


Reflection Exercise #7 You see in the left hand corner, with this model, the adult is the one in control – authority, control, directing and punishment. The result is what we see in the middle of the image. Kids do what they normally do, but a bigger thing that controls what they do are the RULES. When adults are controlling, are directive and rely on punishment, children are constrained by this and start acting like the at the bottom of the outer circle. Reflect on the reasoning behind each of these actions and write them down in your workbook


Reflection Exercise #8 You see here, the adult actively listens (builds empathy and reflects feelings). There is some negotiation with the children – choices given. BUT, there are still limits. Good relationships and YMCA Playing to Learn are not free for alls – but include consistent, clear and fair limits. And there is lots of affirmation – positive messages to the child about who they are and their ability. You see here in middle of the image, the kids doing what kids do is now on the outside. The Limits are still central and important, but they are internal – inside – not crowding the child’s play, behaviour etc. Reflect on the reasoning behind each of these actions and write them down now.


Reflection Exercise #9 What Does This Tell Us? Four children are at the art table playing with shaving cream and glitter. As I walk by, I notice one child is frantically scooping glitter and shaving cream back into the glitter shaker. Two other children are helping her scoop up the glitter and shaving cream. “Quick before the teacher comes!” I (a visitor) ask what’s going on. The children whisper to me that Janie took the lid off the shaker and she’s not supposed to and she’s going to get into BIG trouble if a teacher sees her. In relation to Adult vs. Child Centred Relationships, what does this scenario tell us about this teacher’s style of relationship developed? If the teacher did come over, what do you think they’d do? Reflect on these questions in your workbook.


Reflection Exercise #10 A four year old boy holding a broken broom approaches the child care office door where a meeting is taking place. He says to the director, “Hi Kathy, I broke the broom.” The director and he discuss how they might be able to fix it and make a plan to do so. In relation to Adult vs. Child Centred Relationships, what does this scenario tell us about this teacher’s style of relationship developed? What would a child who broke a broom in an environment that was adult centred do? Reflect on these questions in your workbook. .


Reflection Exercise #11 Consider this question now: Do I recognize when children do not feel safe and secure? How do I support children to know that I am caring? Do I project a loving and caring demeanor? Write down some examples of things that you do or you would like to do to make this happen. i.e. Do I ask children if they would like to use the washroom or do I tell them that they have to? Do I leave snacks available for a period of time so that children can choose when they are hungry? Do I know the special songs or activities that each child likes that helps them feel safe and secure where their parent leaves?


Reflection Exercise #12 This is the Play in Action section that is specific to the Daily Schedule. Assess your daily schedule to see how it meets this criteria: 2.4a Flexible to Children’s Play Needs • The schedule is flexible with natural play as the

foundation • The daily schedule provides opportunities for both

planned and spontaneous experiences • The schedule states “play opportunities” or “play

experiences” not “Free Play” or “Free Exploration” Record any questions you have regarding how your schedule is written or ideas to tweak or change the wording to meet the criteria based on the knowledge you gained reading Using Time Wisely.


Reflection Exercise #13 The first point listed here is crucial to RELATIONSHIPS: 1.3b Play and staff-child interactions take precedence over routines, schedules and transitions? Rate how well you do this from 1-10 – just for fun! Do you think you truly value Relationships over routines, schedules and transitions? 1.Write an example of how you make this happen. 2. Record how your team might consider and better meet the 1.3b. Play and staff-child interactions take precedence over routines, schedules and transitions? Consider your program’s schedule and how you use it. For example, what do you do well? Lunch time? Or do you think you have too many transitions? Do you give enough uninterrupted blocks of time to play? 3. Write down some possible changes and discuss them with your supervisor when you return to work.


Reflection Exercise #14 How Would You Respond? Snack was put away at 10:45. It’s now 11:15 and many of the toddlers who didn’t like the snack are hungry. A small group is miserable. They are crying, biting and hitting each other due to hunger, but the catered lunch does not come for another 30 minutes. The educator tells the children to stop and they will get lunch later. Then she starts to sing really loudly to try to distract the children although they keep crying. Another educator comes into the room with her small group who are also hungry. Her children sit down at the table where the educator cuts up some fruit to eat to tide them over until lunch time. The children in the other group become even more upset! Spend five minutes reflecting on why the ECE might be responding this way, another way that the ECE could respond, and how this connects better with Maslow’s triangle and being Self Actualized.


Reflection Exercise #15 Read through this documentation on the screen that an educator wrote for parents to describe how and why they decided to give more choices around snack and lunch times. In the documentation the educator reflects on her staff team’s hesitation to make this change and explains their discussions regarding what their values are regarding food, nutrition and relationships. This sort of change takes a lot of courage and consideration for a staff team. Creating Enjoyable, Family-style Meal Times Over the past few months our Infant and Toddler room has struggled with creating calm, enjoyable snack and lunch times where educators and children engage in casual conversations which replicate family-style meals. Instead, our meal times were focused on telling children what they could and couldn’t choose from their lunch bags, when they could eat what and why they couldn’t eat sugary snacks first. Needless to say our good intentions of trying to educate the infants and toddlers about healthy eating ended up in daily power struggles, with the children getting frustrated and often losing interest in eating at all. As a team we knew something had to change as we all envisioned eating times as enjoyable times for sharing, discovering and fun—which we definitely didn’t have. We encourage the infants and toddlers to make choices for most of their day except when it came to eating. Our infants and toddlers decide if they want to go outside with the first group or the second group, when and if they want to create, read stories or build so why did we feel we needed to control their eating? It was a big commitment for all of us to agree to allow children to not only make their own choices about when to eat and what to eat, but—most critically—to trust their choices. We decided the only “rule” was if they decided to eat their main meal for snack they would only eat half of it and save the other half for later in the day. The first week was interesting. The infants and toddlers naturally asked us what they could eat but we told them they could decide. It took a while for some children to make these decisions on their own but eventually children began to eat when they were hungry and chose foods that appealed to them. Yes, in the beginning, many did choose the sugary snacks first. But, as the weeks progressed, we noticed that most children ate just as much or more of their healthy foods. In fact, we noticed many sugary snacks were going home at the end of the day. Not only were the infants and toddlers beginning to regulate when they were hungry and what they needed to nourish themselves. but our meals times turned into enjoyable occasions of sharing, discovering, discussions and fun!


As educators we realized that our good intentions of promoting healthy eating was actually creating conflict and we were sending messages to children that we did not trust their decision making. We needed time to reflect and “let go” of some of our control and personal beliefs. When we did this we discovered that our infants and toddlers are very capable decision makers. “Professional growth is a process of personal transformation requiring time and ongoing experience.” Eden and Huggins, YMCA Playing to Learn, 2001, page 112 July 7, 2015 Jean Reflect for a moment in your workbook. Is there a routine in your program that you would like to tackle and change to make Relationship the focus and key??


Reflection Exercise #16 Dr. Jean Clinton video. While, or after you watch this video clip, jot down any reactions in your workbook


Reflection Exercise #17 Which Child Will Be More Self–Regulated? Now that you have this new information regarding self-regulation: Which child will be more self – regulated - why? Based on the information you’ve now received, what can we do to support the development of self-regulation for both children. Record your answers now:


Reflection Exercise #18 Take a few minutes now to read through Development and Relationships in Section 1 of YMCA Playing to Learn 2nd Edition. Can you find the quotes on this screen? Find and write down 2 other quotes that particularly speak to you. If you are unfamiliar with or need a refresher about Attachment and its importance in starting a baby off to developing trusting relationships, you can also read Section 1 Part D 1. Attachment in YMCA Playing to Learn 2nd Edition


Reflection Exercise #19

Take a few minutes and write a statement for yourself to help remind you to chat with children in real conversations. This could be a funny piggy back song that you’ll sing to yourself, a rhyme or a code word….


Reflection Exercise #20 How would you respond to these children with Empathy? 1. Identify the emotion/feeling first – write this down in your workbook. Sometimes this is actually hard to identify the feeling. Keep trying – don’t try and solve the problem right away – if you do – you are missing the empathy step. 2. Now write down a phrase that will check in with the child to get the Ya response. It takes a while and practice to find the right wording that feels natural to you, but give it a try. Examples: “you feel (sad, angry, mad, happy etc) about….? “ or “ you seem…. “ etc.

Child Says… Identify the emotion Phrase to get Ya response

He grabbed my car!

Wahhhh! Mommy left and I didn’t get my last hug!

She says I can’t come to her

party!

Hey! You said I could be next!

I HATE YOU, MOMMY!


Reflection Exercise #21 This list is taken from The Importance of Cues in Chapter 1. D. • Signs for physical needs — although some

young infants learn some sign language their cues should still be observed

• Indications that emotional supports are needed — usually it is better to anticipate these changes in health and well-being status

• Mood changes and patterns of change • Play behaviours, including level of attention,

interest, actions, new behaviours, learning, interests and responses to extensions of the ideas

• The necessity to change the pace, stimulation or features of the environment • Responses to adult initiated activities, stimulation, interventions and guidance • Desire to be alone, show autonomy, be self-directed and show some self-regulation Go through this list and write down some ideas that you would SEE and NOTICE in children regarding these cues. If you work with preschool aged children then make your list about preschool aged children!



PRAISE Praise is an external form of recognition where the child is rewarded by an adult for something the adult is judging positive. This motivates children to behave in ways to please others. It can also lead to competition and comparison. ENCOURAGEMENT Encouragement is an internal form of recognition based on effort and improvement. This is based on the child deciding if s/he, him or herself is pleased with the effort or result rather than depending on pleasing others. This focuses on self motivation and intrinsic self worth. As a child is intently focused on building with their lego, the comment, “It looks like you’re working hard on you building” provides encouragement. Have you ever said to one child, “I really like your paining!” and had another child quickly ask, “What about mine?” This praise or stamp of approval from the adult results in comparison and competition. The child does things for the adult rather than for the enjoyment of or appropriateness of the task. Write 2 or 3 idea here about how you’ll work to re-train yourself if you currently use Praise with children and would like to change this to use Encouragement!


Reflection Exercise #23 It’s lunch time and there are two tables to choose to sit at. You, the director, walk in to take over for the educator’s break. 3 friends arrive together. There are only 2 seats left at one table so a frantic negotiation ensues to decide who would have to sit at the other table. The educator steps in and says – “You two sit here” and “You have to sit at the other table”. During lunch, that you are now supervising, two of the friends (who are sitting at different tables) continually argue about different topics. It starts to get more heated and one says “I’m not going to be your friend!” Pretend you are the director of this program and you walk into the room and witness this scenario just as you are about to relieve this educator for her break. This is the situation that you inherit as you supervise lunch. How do you respond with empathy? Why would you respond with empathy? What could you do based on what you know now about empathy? Write some ideas down in your workbook.



WE, the adults, have a choice to give a choice or not. This is why this is called the GIFT of Choice…. Why should we give children choice? How does it relate to self-regulation? Think about these questions and write down your reflections in your workbook.


Reflection Exercise #25 A child did not respond to several invitations to go outside. Once the other children were getting their coats on, he wanted to go too. The group was full by this point and he was told he could go out as soon as there was space. He started to cry and become really really upset and then angry at the educator who was staying inside. The educator responded with empathy: “Did you change you mind and now the group’s full? That’s disappointing isn’t it?” He nodded Ya. She comforted him, reflected his feelings more and then eventually distracted him with something she knew he liked to do. The rest of the morning he continually went back to this educator showing the her things that’d he’d made, for hugs, to play with. In your workbook reflect on Choice and Empathy and write down some reasons why this boy kept approaching the ECE who supported him through his disappointment about not getting to go outside right away.



Read through each of the criteria on the slide and record an example in your workbook of what this criteria might look like in your program. 1.1a When large groups do occur during the visit they are a result of children's choice and/or a celebration (children gravitated to a larger group by choice). What this looks like in my program: 1.1c A variety of play choices are offered during routine happenings (while waiting for the washroom, dressing for outdoors, bed preparation, lunch preparation etc. What this looks like in my program: 1.2d Children are consulted and their input is considered during daily interactions (i.e. when groups are chosen, activities presented, when directed to play areas). What this looks like in my program: 1.3c Children are making choices in their play experiences. What this looks like in my program: 1.4a Arrangement of play areas encourages self-chosen small group play. What this looks like in my program:


Reflection Exercise #27 A child is at the lunch table with a small group. She is not eating and has been repeatedly re-focused to eat by the teacher. She is disrupting the rest of the children. The teacher says, “I told you three times to eat your lunch. You have no choice,” and the teacher begins to pack up the child’s lunch. Describe how this scenario does not help us get to the adjectives we want. How does it all relate to the first 5 things we’ve discussed: calm, self-actualization, self-regulation – come back to choice and being a Mama or Dadda Duck.


Reflection Exercise #28 There are twelve children in attendance when the second staff arrives in the morning. The second staff says, “Ok, who are the first eight children who arrived? Time to go to the gym!” This is the consistent routine – the first children to arrive go to the gym. The staff report that this works well, as the children and the staff all know the routine. When the group is full, children are told they can’t come because they arrived too late, resulting in angry and sad children. Describe how this scenario does not help us get to the adjectives we want. How does it all relate to the first 5 things we’ve discussed: calm, self-actualization, self-regulation – come back to choice and being a Mama or Dadda Duck.



If you were speaking to a parent how would you finish the sentence: Choice is important to children because….. Jot down some ideas in your workbook about how you would end this sentence if describing the Gift of Choice to parents



Read and reflect upon the work you have completed in your workbook. Write a paragraph describing what your professional commitment will be to reach the Social Emotional Environment that we want built on strong relationships with the children. How will you support families? How will you support children to have a strong base of Maslow’s triangle and become self-regulated? What will you do as an educator to support your team in this journey or to maintain this environment if your team are already Mama/Dadda Ducks? You may be writing about starting with some baby steps or you may have ideas for leaps and bounds to change. Whichever suits where you and your team are at, write it down now and share it with your supervisor upon your return to work. There are no wrong answers here as this is your own personal commitment. Also there’s no need to strive for perfection. As a reflective practitioner, you can always come back and add, change or re-write your ideas!

Documents

workbook Intro and Relationships - Learning YMCA …learning.ymca.ca/LMS/0/492/LE/5b51292a-2acb-483e-8c6c-e44765c8f3f4...INTRO TO YMCA PLAYING TO LEARN and RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE KEY