Women With Know-How April 2011 Issue

8/7/2019 Women With Know-How April 2011 Issue

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Women Leading W n

n W W

m n g ng f n nc s

foLLoW ng d of spousAPRIL OLIVER

SYLVIA LAFAIR

ma y lizabeth

M rph

APR IL 2 011

CONNECT AND GROW WITH WOMEN IN OUR COMMUNITY


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Dear Readers,

Cant believe we are now headed into spring andthe year is fying by!

This month we have Mary Elizabeth Murphy,

owner o S.T.A. R. resources as our cover story.I have gotten to know her well these last ewyears as a ellow member o MetropolitanBusiness and Pro essional Women, and throughthe wonder ul articles she writes regularly or oure- magazine.

Also, May 1 is Holocaust Memorial month andwe have an amazing story o a survivor that is a

must read.We have started a Charlotte WomenWith Know How Group on Linkedin, so check itout and join us.

The members are all women businessowners here in Charlotte that want to connect.We will be planning socials and in ormalget togethers in order to get to know eachother better.

Dates and times will be posted on the grouppage.Have a success ul month!

Mimi

from the pubLisher Mimi Zelman

We have starteda Charlotte WomenWith Know HowGroup on Linkedin,so check it out andjoin us.


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34r L ons ps

Women Leadingthe Way in a New Way

26n v r forg

Dr. SusanCernyak-Spatz

contents

F u

16cov r S y

Mary Elizabeth Murphy

40food

Favorites Reinventedwith Flavor ul Surprise

D p mP S F c S 22

Marcie Williams-Browing

F c S 32April Oliver

w SS 36Vickie L. Bunzey

M M 6Robyn Crigger

y u P u 8Kimberly Hughes

M K 12Mara F. Campolungo


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Serving charlotteand charlestonpubli h /p iD

Mimi L. [email protected]

D ig D p g p oDu ioSPARK Publications

in [email protected]

vi p iD oF m K i g

Wendy Whitehurst

o ibu i g W i Mary Elizabeth Murphy

Marcie Williams- BrowningRobyn Crigger

Kim Hugheso 704events.com

h l oContact Mimi Zelman

[email protected]

For more advertising in ormation callMimi at 704-491-1207 or email her at:

[email protected] 2010

Cover photography: Dustin Shores

Whether youre heading to your companysboard meeting or your daughters soccer

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world that you are a Woman With Know-how.

Weve handpicked a select group of items all

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M O R E I N F O

o i pa rtn e rs inc . a s s a re e r ma nage e n t

lu t ns

www.c a s s ca re e r.com(704) 849-2500

[email protected]

A Critical Step to theSurvival o A Company

management Robyn Crigger, CEO Compass Career Management SolutionsOI Partners Inc.

aj r ty f c an es kn w t att ey mu a e a ccess n p anA majority o companies know thatthey MUST have a Succession Plan,but or the last ew years this hasbeen pushed to the back burner, as

the company leadership ocuses onstaying in business. The theme

or all has become Run Lean,but like a body you cant starve

yoursel orever.

The act is ourwork orce is gettingolder, and in the

near uture the BabyBoomers will retire!

Most employerswill admit that they

havent provided training orexecutive coaching or at least two

years. As employees begin to retire ORchange companies, what employees

are really prepared or management ordecision making?

ny c any r r an zat nneeds t a e a ract ca andt r an f r ts f t re

Any company or organization needsto have a practical and thorough plan

or its uture, which includes a) theprocess o accurately de ning the jobdescriptions o each key executive role,b) an e ective preparation process

or all to ollow, and c) to have inplace a clear process or the normalrotation o these pro essional positions.

Requirements and legal protocol shouldbe a part o this Succession Plan.

In order to have solid and reputablecandidates prepared to step intothese executive roles, there must bea developmental process or thecandidates to ollow and conclude by


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the time their predecessor is ready toretire or leave. This requires a calendarwhich can gauge when to begin preparinga candidate or his/her developmental

process. There needs to be an accurateestimate o time to prepare the candidateand expose him/her to all necessarylessons and experiences.

In addition, a candidate should beassessed care ully or all the naturalskills, talents, and training needed totake the executive slot intended. There

must be plenty o time so that thecandidates personality, natural skills,and ample training/education have hadsu ciently rooted themselves into thecandidates routine.

No one is per ect, but a companysleadership is critical to its success.Each candidate should take a

leadership role seriously and becommitted to consciously work atlearning all necessary skills.

t e ta e s d e n ace te kee t e cand date s

Within the Succession Plan, a timetable should be in place to helpkeep the candidates and company

leadership ocused on doing his/herbest. Candidates should have e ectivecoaches to teach speci c aspects otheir upcoming position. While theexisting leadership will need somecoaching to continue to improve theircapabilities and do all that is possibleto grow their rms.

Being a success ul leader is thegoal o many, though it is also a bigresponsibility! As the leader o a rm,you will be expected to make solidand good decisions and direct andencourage the work orce in doing their

best. Over time new candidates willneed to be identi ed and moved intothe cycle or the Succession Plan.

No one is perfect , but a companysleadership is critical to its success .


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on a en day, w anyt es d y say t y rse f

r s e ne w ted y rt e s. h w y d nt a e t e tdea w t s e ne r s et n ?h w t e s t at n y are n s ana s te waste f y r t e? if yare a sy s ness r fess na

y r a y te y rse f t at q teften t w at d y d a t t?

pr a y n t n .

Ive been nding myselgetting busier and busier

lately and while I lovealways having a to-do list to destroy, I

havent busy doingthe right things. I have

been nding mysel doingthings or other people and

concentrating on projects that donot earn me income. Who is the onethat su ers? ME! I am my own boss andam responsible or my income so i I

ail, there is no one to point the nger atbesides mysel .

I have been laying down guidelines ormysel and I have to admit, they aresometimes hard to ollow but I know

or my well-being and to keep the billcollectors at bay, they are necessary.

I hope that you can actor in some othese tips to your own li e to create aless-stress ul but more proactive andproductive work day!

1. W ats t e p nt? I you areanything like me, you receive manyphone calls rom people who wantto meet with you and not to do

business with you or create a businessrelationship. Maybe they want to learn

rom your expertise, want to get to knowyour contacts and how your infuencecan bene t them, or maybe it issomeone that you havent seen in a longtime and they want to see you. While allo the above invitations are fattering, it

Tick Tock Tick Tock Times Up

young entrepreneur Kimberly Hughes

M O R E IN FO

7 0 4 e ve n t s

www.70 4 e v e n

t s .c om

7 0 4 .2 81.4 4 8 2

kim @7 0 4 e ve n t s .c o

m


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isnt conducive to my business. Soundrude? Maybe, but it is the hard truth.

Think o it this way. Say once a week youmeet with someone under these above

circumstances and including travel time,it takes an hour and a hal out o your day.An hour and a hal out o a 40 hour workweek doesnt seem that bad BUT add thatup during the course o a ull year andthat is 78 hours seventy-eight! That isone meeting short o 2 ull weeks out othe year. Now, this is one time a week,so do the math i you do it twice or three

times a week. Instead, try to meet withpeople a ter hours; maybe a networkingevent or maybe or a 5 p.m. glass o wine.

Have a meeting that is essential to yourbusiness? Schedule the meeting overbreak ast, lunch or dinner. We all have toeat, right? O course, sometimes schedulesdont work out and in that case, I will

schedule a meeting over a down-time or atime where I slower during the day; or me,that is either 10 a.m. or 4 p.m.

2. make at l st. Nothing gives memore satis action than accomplishingthings; more speci cally, being ableto cross things o a list. Unless it is a

client need or something imperative tomy business, by 10 a.m., my task list iscomplete or the day, Period. Anythingthat comes in a ter are projects that

go on the calendar or the next day. Ieach day I took on everything that wasthrown my way, I wouldnt leave theo ce be ore midnight.

3. be real st c. Sometimes people, meincluded, are nave enough to imagine wehave these innate super-powers wherewe can do everything and get everything

done. Yeah, right. When you create yourdaily goals and task lists, be honestwith yoursel in what you can get done.Some days it is easible to accomplish50 things where other days, crossing5 things o o our list is a miracle. Themore we DONT get done, the morestressed we become. Cut yoursel someslack and know your limits.

4. ay o. I am the quintessentialpeople pleaser. I am a ected by peoplewho dont like me and I dont like tolet people down by turning themdown, whether it is to help them with awork project or a riend who wants togo out or drinks. I know the time hascome that I have to deal with that mind

rame because I can only do so much.When you do need to say no, I am notsaying that you get rude about it; just adistinguished and honest decline and isomeone gets upset, then they need tolook inward at their own sel shness.

5. its Y e. I use to let the weight

When you create yourdaily goals and task lists, be honest withyoursel in what you

can get done.


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o the world rest o my shoulders and itcarried with me day a ter day and guesswhat? That weight ended up on my hips,stomach, arms (You get the picture). One

thing that doesnt leave my schedule nowis my appointment with my gym.. Six daysa week, typically rom 7:30pm to 9:30pm,I am taking care o me and physicallybeating the stress out o me and in doingso, you have no idea how many problemsI solve in my head and how much clarityI have. Maybe 2 hours isnt easible oryou but trust me, shave o a ew hour o

playing around on Facebook or Twitter,sulking in ront o the TV, or having theabove stated unnecessary meetings andsurprise, the time you have to exercise andde-stress begins to add up.

6. its h ew rk e. Instead ologging extremely long hours o work atthe o ce, set aside 2 or 3 days a week

where you take work home. Concentrateon taking non-essential but still importantthings home to accomplish. Example, mymonthly columns or Women With KnowHow; while I love writing my column, it is

not conducive or me to do during workhours. During my homework times I willalso return miscellaneous emails, writethank you cards to clients and contacts

and work out new marketing agendas.All important tasks but easily done a terwork hours.

In early March, a story arose out oMichigan. A 16 year-old boy, Wes Leonard,died on his high schools basketball courta ter sinking the game winning shot inovertime. He died o cardiac arrest due

to an enlarged heart. Remember, he was16. It is extremely tragic and is a strongreminder that we never know when ourtime is up. I am sure i someone told Westhat this would be his last morning wakingup as a mortal and that evening, playingbasketball, he would die o a heart attack,he would have laughed until he cried.

The truth o the matter is, each second thatpasses, we are that much closer to death.Do you want to pass on a ter working24/7 or do you want enjoy li e? Enjoy your

riends, your amily and the Earth that weare blessed to be on or instead, brag thatyou worked 85 hours in one week?

Yes o course, work and earning a living

is imperative to li e but it shouldntde ne us. When my time ends, I wantto be known or the person I was, theimpacts I made, and who I touched. Notas that girl rom 704events.com whospent her li e working and didnt maketime or the little things in li e or thethings that make li e worth living.


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marKeting Mara F. Campolungo, Sandbox Solutions

s y read t s art c e, iw d ke t ask y t

ease st ck t y r t n e.nd kee t t. w t at ts t, i

w d ke t ask y tw q est ns:

1. How will you use your tongue today?2. When was the last time you usedyour tongue to encourage someone orto shed a positive light in someones

li e? Its okay now to putyour tongue back into

your mouth.

e i rtance f

W at Y ayO ten, we dont think

about the power oour tongue and how

mighty this tool actually isin business. We use our tongues

less and less, with all the technologiesthat surround us like email, Facebook,

text messaging and other non-verbalmethods. But Id like to share a shortstory about the importance o what yousay and how you say it.

Several months ago, Sandbox

Solutions attended a ToastmastersRegional contest. One o the speakers,Kim Jackson, caught our attention. Herspeech theme was, What are your

ve words? and she encouraged heraudience to examine the dashes onour gravestones. You know, that dashbetween the birth and the end, andthen what ve words would be most

tting or the gravestone.She asked the audience to questionhow have we lived our lives, how we

How Will You UseYour Tongue Today?Practical Thoughts on the Impact of Your Words

M O R E I N F O

mara F. a polungoSandbox Solutions

www.Your and ox.com

[email protected]

704.201.3354

A beneft is a result or solution the clientreceives rom using

your product.


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have spent that dash and the signi cantve words that told our story. Have you

ever thought about your dash?About how you would capture your li e

in ve words?

My business partner and I were veryimpressed with her and talked withher a ter the competition. Two monthslater, Kim called us and wanted toplay in the Sandbox, to help herbuild her pro essional motivationalspeaking business. She has a dynamic

personality and presence, ull oenergy and zest. When she gave us herbusiness resume or our review, wesaw that Kim has truly lived a ull andcomplete dash. When we told her thatshe was an amazing woman, Kims eyeswelled up with tears and she swi tlymoved on to the next topic.

Fast F rwardIn the next ew months, we didnt reallythink that much about the details othat day. We never thought about howwe were using our tongues; we werejust being us at Sandbox Solutions.Then we saw her business blog entry.Here is an excerpt rom the blog

When I heard the words, You arean amazing woman from Mara and Karen, I dont remember if I responded verbally, but my spirit immediately took ight. Five wordswhat a deal! Such a small investment on her part,but what a great gain on mine. Their simple words reframed my attitude

and reenergized my spirit. They saw beyond the printed page of my resumeto something far more worthwhile.

make an i actWe were, and still are, speechless

by the power o words, by the hugeimpact o what we saw as such a small

We never thought about how wewere using our tongues; we were just

being us at Sandbox Solutions.


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gesture. As you go through your day, doyou think about how you are using yourtongue? Do you consider a businessmeeting a mundane encounter or do

you see every experience as a potentialopportunity to make an impact?

Almost nothing impacts our abilityto get results rom others and getalong with people more than ourcommunication skills. These peopleskills are critical to the success oevery people leader, manager, coach,

riend, husband, and wi e.

va n ot ersMost o the time when people talk

about good communications or poor

communications, they are talkingabout the skills o the communicator,and to be sure, these are veryimportant. Good communication skillsstart with an attitude o wanting tobe a good communicator. We have tovalue the other person, and want tounderstand his/her position be orecommunicating our own position,

and then look or a win-win solution.When this win-win attitude is in place,the skills o good communicationtend to ollow. Good communicationskills include both listening skills andsending skills.

So now, we ask you to stick yourtongue back out and think about what

co-worker, what client, what supplier,what partner could use an encouragingword rom your tongue today?Smart communication is the result oembracing every encounter, whetherit is business or personal, with aconscious mind, heart and tongue. Andthats not childs play!

Smart communicationis the result of embracing every

encounter , whether

it is business orpersonal, with aconscious mind, heart

and tongue.

Smart BusinessIsnt Childs Play

Contact us at 704.201.3354

or [email protected]

InYourSandbox.com

WE CAN HELP YOU...

Fill your buckets with new business

Reduce your printing expenses

Develop an effective social media strategy

Improve your marketing presence

S O L U T I O N S

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ma y lizabethMurphymanag ng D rector of . . . . esourcesand ut or of Your buttons


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I have known Mary Elizabeth Murphy ornearly six years, and in that time I havegotten to know one o the most dynamicand driven women I have ever met. Theattitude o joy, philosophy o optimismand collaborative mentality that MaryElizabeth brings to the table makesworking with her an experience which

can not only change your business, butyour li e as well, or the better.

Mary Elizabeth is the Founderand Managing Director o S.T.A.R.Resources. S.T.A.R. is, or theuninitiated, an acronym which stands

or Strategic Teams Achieving Results.Using her expertise, vast experience

and enthusiastic personality, MaryElizabeth is able to take individualswho work parallel to each other in thesame company and coach them intoa cohesive, unctioning team. And youcan bet your li e she achieves results.

The Carolinas Association o

Advertising and Marketing Pro essional(CAAMP) liked the results she achievedso much that its membership electedMary Elizabeth to ve consecutive12-month terms as the bodysExecutive Director and CEO. Under hersupervision, CAAMP had the rst sold-out show in its history in 2006. Later in

the year, it had its second. In act, orthe duration o her tenure, CAAMP didnot have a seat available at any o itstrade shows.

What sets Mary Elizabeth apart rommany other trainers, coaches andbusiness owners yes, she is all three,and then some! is that she doesnt

only measure results in monetaryterms. For a client relationship to havebeen success ul, that clients outlookmust have changed or the better. Ateam must have been created wherethere was no true teamwork be ore.That team must be balanced accordingto the strengths o its members and,

By David Pollack

First o , let me say,with no compunctionwhatsoever:I love that I get to do this.


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most importantly, those members mustget along well. Many people in herline o work claim this ideology; I cansay with certainty that Mary ElizabethMurphy is telling the absolute truthwhen she does.

I have a good time doing what I do,says Mary Elizabeth. I think that

anybody, i theyre thinking o startingtheir own business, should rst askhersel , What do I have a good timedoing? What am I good at? What am I

being called to do? I can tell you romrst-hand experience on both ends o

the spectrum that youre both happierand more success ul when you have agood time in your work.

I called Mary Elizabeth driven earlier.Perhaps the best example o this workethic and determination exists in her

decision to run S.T.A.R. Resources intwo di erent cities: Charlotte, NC andChicago, IL. The two are completelydi erent in makeup, layout, attitudeand history, but they are also bothplaces Mary Elizabeth considershome. Fiercely loyal to both cities,Mary Elizabeth roughly splits her yearbetween the two.

The Chicago Patrolmens Federal CreditUnion (CPFCU), like many o S.T.A.R.Resources clients, appreciates thisloyalty and responds in kind. For thepast 7 years the CPFCU has contractedwith Mary Elizabeth as their StrategicLearning Partner. S.T.A.R. Resourceshas and continues to provide training,

coaching and consultation to itsexecutive team, managers, supervisorsand sta by designing customizedprocesses that align with their currentstrategic business goals. She has beeninvited to give keynote addresses orthe organization, has sponsoredevents it has held and maintains a

What sets Mary Elizabeth apart rommany other trainers, coaches and

business owners yes, she is all three .


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close riendship with Scott Arney,CPFCUs CEO.

Mary Elizabeth has always been

able to carry this spirit o loyaltyand commitment to the civic andwomens organizations with whichshe is involved. Her involvement withMetropolitan Business and Pro essionalWomen (MBPW) saw her unsel shlygive endless hours o leadership andpro essional time to the organization,at both the local and state levels.

She is or has been active in thesame capacity with many otherorganizations, including Women First,the North Carolina Coalition AgainstDomestic Violence (NCCADV), PlatosDay, National Association o WomenBusiness Owners, the GovernmentRelations Action Committee (GRAC)

o Promotional Products AssociationInternational (PPAI), the PPAIsWomens Leadership Con erence, TheMarch o Dimes, American Society oTraining and Development, Society oHuman Resource Management andThe Mecklenburg County WomensCommission, among others. Her workwith these organizations is an accurate

indicator o her commitment to helping

individuals recognize and take advantageo business opportunities, improve their

nancial situations and gain the skills andcon dence needed to improve their lives.

Her philosophy on donating time tolocal organizations is simple. When

you volunteer, think o your work withthat group as though it were a businesscommitment. Be sure that youunderstand the time commitment, andtake care not to overextend yoursel .Non-pro ts and charities depend ontheir volunteer sta to be reliable,dependable and productive.

Never one to rest on her laurels orbe relegated to one category, MaryElizabeth took the plunge and beganthe coaching certi cation process in2007. Four years later, she is certi edby the Coaches Training Institute (CTI),Organizational and Relationship SkillsCoaching (ORSC), the InternationalCoaching Federation (ICF) and is

planning her own coaching manual,based upon her proprietary RESETYour Buttons behavioral model,which she outlines in her book RESETYour Buttons (Author House, Sept.2009). Her reasons or moving into thecoaching eld are right in line with herother li e and business philosophies.

I decided to learn thescience, mechanics

and skills o coachingbecause I realized

training is an event .

When you volunteer, think o yourwork with that group as though it were

a business commitment .


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I started out in training, Mary Elizabethexplains. I decided to learn the science,mechanics and skills o coachingbecause I realized training is an event.

In order to e ectively impact sustainedbehavior and culture change or myclients a process that includes training,coaching and consultation was required.

Think about it, she continues. Iyou go to this one seminar, and itsheld once a year, and there are vespeakers in ve di erent workshops

over a weekend, how much are youactually going to learn? Theres reallyonly a seven per cent retention rate interms o applicable skills and teachableknowledge. By being my clientsStrategic Learning Partner, Im able tocome back to clients on a consistent

basis to makesure thatthose conceptsstick and are

being appliedappropriately. Therehas to be a much more personalinvestment on my end.

It is that personal investment in herclients and colleagues which sets MaryElizabeth Murphy apart rom the crowd.I you dont come away rom a business

transaction with a new riendship,then you havent properly utilized MaryElizabeths services and expertise.David Pollack is a freelance writer, editor and personal brand manager. You canreach him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter @Chapter_47.

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personaL forecast Marcie Williams-Browning

2011 Is All About AligningYoursel WITH Your Goals

M O R E I N F O

rysal s h ypnos s enter

www.m ndb ody p r tb z.com704.631.9540

elf-D scoveryThis time o year is the beginning o allthings. New growth is apparent in allareas o nature and so it should be oryou in your personal growth. This is theper ect time to begin at the beginning.What do you want in your li e? How do

you want to eel about your li e? Wherewould you like to go in the next year?This is the per ect time to ask thesequestions and to gure out what the

answer is or you in all areas oyour li e. What is important

to you right now and howis the answer di erent

rom answers in the

past? How are you inalignment with what you

want moving orward andwhat areas are no longer

in alignment with your goals?

W ats i portant?Allow yoursel the time and space to

explore your world and gure out what isworking and what isnt. Take those thingsthat are not working, or not in alignment,and change or eliminate them. Ask a loto questions about each area o your li eand then allow yoursel to be honest withthe answers.

Begin at the beginning and the beginning isyou! What do you really want and how canyou align yoursel with what you really want?

W at a out al gn ent?When we are not in alignment things donot eel like they fow. They can eel likeyou get stuck o ten during the process or

like you are hitting a brick wall. You maynotice that people you trust are sharingtheir doubts about your current alignmentor you eel the doubts yoursel .

Doubts are not always a signal that youare on the wrong path. They could justsigni y the need or a slight adjustment


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to the path. However, i you hear rommultiple sources that they dont eel rightabout something, its probably time tolisten to those messages and re-evaluate.

The nal decision maker is you and youwill know when it is right regardless o the

eedback rom others. Alignment eels rightand eels like it fows smoothly.Another good indicator is the words you useas you describe your current ocus. Are theypositive, energetic and motivating? I theyare, this is good indicator o alignment. I

not, you may want to take another look.

W at to al gn yourself w t t s ont ?Each month I share some areas or youto ocus sel -alignment. These areas areprominent within the month and there orethe energy behind them is already

strong. When you add your energy to thestrength o the earths energy it makes thealignment easier.

For April look or new beginnings. Taketime to look at your li e with new eyes.Be authentic in all sel -discovery andexploration. As you evaluate your li e do sothrough your own truth and authenticity.Pull rom your inner courage as you createyour new beginnings.

how do you al gn

yourself w t your goals?I talked about my ritual o alignment andused the example o money. I choose anemotion word each month that representshow I want to eel about money. I check in

requently to see what circumstances havecaused me to eel that emotion in my li e.


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This ritual has been so un! It has broughtto my attention so many beauti ul eventsthat I may have missed or dismissedbe ore. We all know how easy it is to lose

ocus on our goals and how easy it can beto get caught up in the negative energy.

Since sel -discovery is one o the ocusesor April I wanted to apply this process to

how you view your li e and world. Chosean emotion word that expresses howyou would like to eel about your li e thismonth. Write it down and place it where

you will see it o ten.

Then track how many times you elt thatway during the month. The eeling maybe evoked around something unrelated toyour li e but that eeling will spill out intoeverything in your li e. Have un with this

process and write down everything thathappens even i it is a stretch in your mind.

Every decision we make is based in

emotion. Using this technique brings morepositive emotion into your li e. The moreyou review your word, ocus on what theword means or you and the goal youvemade in association with the word - the

aster you will see positive results.

This process brings all parts o youinto alignment with your goals. The

continued ocus throughout the monthkeeps you in alignment. The ocuson the word keeps you positive andwriting down the experiences o thatemotion builds on the emotion itsel .When you are in alignment with yourgoals they will happen!


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ere a e een se eraents n t e st ry f r

w r d t at a e s cked t easses and nst ed fear f r t e

f t re f ank nd, t n ne e entre t an t e h ca st. o er 6

n Jews st t e r es at t e

and f an e d ctat r and a w ckedre e, n t t ent n t e ns

f n n-Jews es t at were taken,s c as sex a s, t ca

r s ners and y s es. en n t edarkest t es and d s earten ns t at ns, t ere s a ways a tt at es t e f t re e.

Women With Know How wanted tohonor Holocaust Remembrance Day (May1, 2011) by speaking with a remarkablesurvivor o the Holocaust, Dr. SusanCernyak-Spatz. A woman who beat theodds, did whatever it took to survive andcontinues to spread her message o a

orward thinking , proactive world.

Cernyak-Spatz is a straight- orward andstrong woman, who speaks care ully, yetpower ully and captivates her audience.Her strength and determination cannotbe emphasized enough. A retiredpro essor rom the University o NorthCarolina at Charlotte, Cernyak-Spatz

is one o the very ew people who hasa PhD without a high school diploma.Her mission is to make sure thereisnt another Holocaust that occurs byspreading the ideal o individual thinkingand whistle blowing.

Never Forget...by Kim Hughes

A woman whobeat the odds, didwhatever it took to surviv e and

continues to spreadher message o aorward thinking ,

proactive world.


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Women With Know How publisher, MimiZelman, and I spent a ew hours withDr. Cernyak-Spatz to learn about herexperiences in the Holocaust, how she

survived one o the worlds most tragicevents and what we can do to preventand stop uture and current genocides.To begin, I wanted to state Cernyak-Spatzs concept o when the Holocaustbegan; in 1933, instead o the technicaldocumentation o 1939. The general ideao the German plan, which lead to theHolocaust, was to assist Germany out

o the deep depression they were stuckin at the time. In 1933 there was hugeunemployment in Germany a ter WW1.Hitler had unscrupulous publicists whopresented the program to Germans;proposing to them i they would expelthe Jews rom Germany, there would bemany jobs available or Germans to pullthrough the depression. The Germans did

not think in terms o extermination, asextermination was Hitlers cruel twist onthe original proposal.

In May o 1942, Cernyak-Spatz and hermother were sent to Theresienstadt,a concentration camp, which wasthe brainchild o both the head oJewish Immigration Department and

coincidently, o Hitler and his minionsto show how marvelous the Germanstreated the Jews.

Upon the selection at Theresienstadt,Cernyak-Spatzs mother was sent Eastto Sobibor one o ve camps where gaschambers and certain death awaited

them, an extermination camp. In 1993,in a trip to Auschwitz-Birkenau with herchildren, Cernyak-Spatz rst oundout the in ormation regarding hermothers death.

Following her stay at Theresienstadt,Cernyak- Spatz was sent to Birkenau,arguably the most notorious and well

In May o 1942, Cernyak-Spatzand her mother were sent to

Theresienstadt, a concentration camp.


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known extermination camps. Cernyak-Spatz views hersel as lucky to be sent toBirkenau because there was a selectionprocess and there were some individuals

that were pulled out o the selections orwork. There were a total o ve camps,including Sobibor where Cernyak-Spatzsmother was killed, that were in existenceonly as extermination camps.

The conditions were despicableand the treatment o the SS on theJews could best be described as

dehumanizing, with the intentions oripping away ones sel -esteem andsel -awareness; all being one step

closer to taking away ones soul.Speaking about Cernyak-Spatzsemotional status during her time atBirkenau, I do not get dramatic about

things. The situation was dramaticenough and maybe it helped me survivebecause I stayed calm. I had one goalin ront o me, Survival, thats all. Myaudience says that I am matter o actwhen I talk about my experience. I thinkI can be more e ective as a teacher bybeing objective than being emotionallyinvolved. It keeps my sanity.

Near the end o the Nazi regime, onJanuary 17th, 1945, while in the KanadaCommando (where all the properties

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brought in by the transports werecollected and sent in to Reich), CernyakSpatz and her commando were warnedby one o the SS o cers to take out o

the warehouses as much warm clothing,shoes and ood as possible becauseas he said, they were going on a longwalk. This long walk is now known asthe Death March to Ravensbrck.

Getting sick was not an option on theDeath March, as i one sat down,a bullet in the head was waiting or

anyone who could not walk. Conditionso the Death March were atrocious, asparticipants o ten had to walk through

knee-high snow through non-existentroads and trails. O the 58,000 thatbegan the Death March, 2/3 survived.The 500 people rom the KanadaCommando survived due to beingwarmly out tted.

Three years a ter her terror and turmoilo the Holocaust began; Cernyak-Spatzwas liberated in May o 1945.

The conditions were despicable and thetreatment o the SS on the Jews couldbest be described as dehumanizing.


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30

To this day, Cernyak-Spatz still has hernumber rom the Holocaust on her arm,number 34042. That number is kepton (my arm) to prove the Holocaustwas real. Un ortunately, there are too

many people who deny the Holocaustoccurred. This is a not a tattoo thatanyone would put on or un. Peopleask me why I do not have it removedand it is or that reason; as long as I amalive, I am a witness.

We all have been taught about theHolocaust and have seen the graphicimages that have le t the legacy o chaospower-driven, undamentalist group o

monsters but we rarely hear the accountso survivors; the ones that have overcomethe odds and lived to tell their stories.These are stories that need to be heardand accounts that need to be broadcastedto end uture attacks on humanity.

Never orget, says Cernyak-Spatz,Thats the main thing! History repeats

itsel , Dar ur, Sudan, Bosnia, Somalia,and Iraq. Theres only one di erencebetween the genocide o the Holocaustand other genocides because mostother genocides had a reason, political,strategic and economic. The Holocaust

To this day, Cernyak-Spatz stillhas her number rom the Holocaust

on her arm, number 34042


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had only one reason, killing becausethere was no other reason.

An obvious question that was askedo Cernyak-Spatz was what do we, as

individuals united in this world, need todo stop another Holocaust? We needto be rid o hatred and bigotry and weneed to teach our children individualthinking. Critical thinking is one o themost important things that our childrencan learn.

I am sensitive to the Holocaust. Not

only because o my potential Jewishroots but because I do not understandthe reasoning or the torture, themassacre and hatred toward people. Weall breathe, right? We all have eelings,right? What makes someone better thansomeone else in ones eyes when we areessentially the same? I cannot questionmy sensitivity and maybe I have the

eelings I do because I, like I hope manyo you, am meant to be a person to notallow something o this magnitude tooccur again.

Maybe I am a person (okay, I am!), whodoesnt believe and go along with theGroup Think mentality.

I personally have two hopes that you, asreaders, will take rom this article. First,NEVER FORGET. That doesnt mean youshould eel guilty, relive each moment

o our past and become angered butbe aware and be present. Do what youcan to stop events like this occurringagain. Second, think or yoursel and beyoursel . Do not let others rame yourli e or shape who you are. Listen to yourintuition go your own way.

An upsetting twist is that Cernyak-Spatz

has been distributing her book almostexclusively on her own throughout NorthCarolina, as she has been told that bookswritten and published by survivors that arealive are not as big o a draw as survivorso the Holocaust who have now passed.Speci cally, North Carolina press did notwant to print and distribute her book.

Dr. Susan Cernyak-Spatzs book,Protective Custody: Prisoner 34042, isavailable in Charlotte, North Carolinaat the Park Road Bookstore in the Park Road Shopping Center.

The Holocaust hadonly one reason,

killing because there

wasno other reason.


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by state. The larger the estate, usuallythe more complicated the settlement.Consult an attorney who specializes inestate laws or complex cases.

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into your own IRA or keep them wherethey are. I you are named a bene ciaryon a li e insurance policy or annuity,you may have choices as to how youreceive those assets. Consult a

nancial advisor to learn more aboutyour options.

pay the bill . It can be di cult to

ace a task as mundane as paying billswhen youre experiencing a personaltragedy. I you are unable to pay someo your bills immediately, contact yourcreditors and explain your situation.Ignoring bills will lead to late ees andmay damage your credit rating.

file taxe . As a surviving spouse,

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You need to le in order to receive are und i taxes were overpaid duringthe year or to pay up i taxes areowed. Failure to le may result inpenalties or even a lien on the estate.The IRS provides instructions on how

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34

M O R E I N F O

i via l a fa ir

[email protected] www.s y via a fa ir.com

570.636.3858

Women Leadingthe Way in a New Way

reLationships Sylvia Lafair, Ph.D.

Whe y thi k thew a what

e t i ? dy ee a t , la

y, e ha wea i jeaa a t t the ki tee hi t?maybe it wa a hi ti ate

ty e i a well tail e it withthe e e t t i e tie. dithe t a h t that a et y e e ble y a a

a ite tea he ?

Now, do the same with the wordwoman. What did you see?

Was it an earth mother with

long fowing hair and a kindsmile or perhaps a modelrom one o the ubiquitous

per ume ads in magazines?Remember the hip Youve come

a long way baby cigarette ads thatshowed strong, can do women standingon terra rma ready to make it happen?

Now, take a moment and think aboutthe women you work with. How similarare they in dress and speech? Arethere cookie cutter models o womenwhere you work or a reedom oexpression? And think about yourseland the image you present. How ree

are you to say and do what you want?Do you hold back or are you ront andcenter in your assertiveness and theway you present your ideas?

ge e ste e ty e :n o e i Le t o tEach o us alls into categories aroundgender stereotypes that are important

to discuss. No one is le t out. We all,rom our earliest learning, modeled

and mimicked those around us to ndour way. We did this to learn aboutwhat it means to be a man ora woman.

We are all products o the amily


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systems we grew up in and the cultureo the times. We are also in bodiesthat dictate some o our behaviorsand our hormones have already

determined much about the impact andconsequences o sexuality on ourlives. So talking about genderstereotypes and leadership successis complex- way more than a lot onumbers and statistics.

21 t ce t y make-o eThere are ways to rede ne who we

are and what makes us happy (andthe issue o womens happiness ispopping up in article a ter article thesedays) by observing, understanding andtrans orming the patterns rom the pastthat have dictated todays behavior.

We need a long lens to go back in ourown personal histories to connect the

dots o what it meant to be a womanthrough the generations. It is only thenwe can take what it good and healthyas we move orward and change whathas been handed to us that no longerworks in the present time.

getti t the ea t the matte

Research and statistics have pointedto women leaders as more sociallyoriented and collaborative while mencounterparts are seen as task orientedand dominating. When women actautocratically they are seen as behavinglike a man and o ten get lower points

or the quality o the way they lead. Yet,

when they go or consensus there arerustrated comments that women cant

take a stand.

This double bind lies at the heart othe struggle around women, leadershipand happiness. I you take a stand in ano-nonsense way you lose and i youlook or agreement you lose. Womenhave had to deal with the dilemma othe double bind or centuries. Just thinkabout child bearing and child rearing.Think about the swirling emotions

around abortion. There is always a tugand pull around working mothers vs.non-working ones.

ri ht i e, ri ht pla e, ri ht n wIt was only 50 years ago women werepublically humiliated or wearing slacks.Seems hard to believe! We have madechanges in every area and will continue

to do so in this era where we need tostop war are as a means o settlingarguments, and nd ways to heal thishurting planet o ours.

Each o us needs to look at themessages handed to us rom thewomen who came be ore us to nd ourown way OUT; to Observe, Understand

and Trans orm the patterns o ourpersonal and collective past, to standon the shoulders o those who camebe ore us.

We are helping to create a world ourancestors could not even imagine. And,we have truly only just begun!


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36

WeLLness Vickie L. Bunzey, Certi ed Holistic Health Coach

er cans e d etsWe are crazed with the newest diet,the astest diet, the best diet to loseunwanted pounds. All you have to dois walk into a bookstore to see themany choices o diet books. We spendmillions o dollars on looking or the

quickest way to be slim. Many o thesediets have to do with carbs.low-carbdiet, glycemic index, glycemic load.

ar ydrates arec ntr ers a

When it comes todiets, carbohydratesare controversial. For

a while the glycemicindex was the way to

go. This has becomethe old way o thinking and

health pro essionals recommendpaying attention to the glycemic loado oods. O course, calories and atcontent are always players when it

comes to watching what you eat butunderstanding glycemic index andglycemic load o oods goes a longway in helping you not be a slave tocounting calories.

g yce cs

Glycemic index measures the way webreak down a carbohydrate into thesimple sugar glucose which is usedby our body or energy. Similarly, theglycemic load ranks oods accordingto their a ect on blood sugar.The di erence is that GI gives usin ormation on how quickly our bloodsugar rises a ter we eat 50 grams o

digestible ood in carbohydrates. TheGL refects the change in blood sugarcaused by eating a normal portion o

ood. The GL is a more accurate pictureo how our ood a ects us. A goodexample is eating watermelon.

To eat 50 grams o digestible

Low Carb orGlycemic Index?

M O R E I N F O

v ickie l . b unzey

Certi ed Holistic Health Coach

www. impleW oleFood utrition.com

[email protected]

www.Yourbalancedh ealt style.com

704.995.1951


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watermelon, we would need to eatabout 2 pounds. On the glycemicindex, water melon is rated high atabout 70 because it contains glucose

which is pure sugar. However, iyou look at a normal serving sizeo watermelon it contains very littleglucose overall and has a glycemicload o 5. You would have to eat 10times a normal portion o watermelonto get the same rise in blood sugaras you would rom eating a normalserving o white bread.

When ollowing the glycemic index,watermelon and white bread havealmost the identical glycemic indexmaking you think

that watermelon is probably not agood choice.

But, i you look at the glycemic load,

the a ect on our blood sugar andthe impact on our body vs. just howquickly it is digesting and into ourblood stream, watermelon is a goodchoice. Because glycemic load o oodlooks at both components, a oodcan have a high glycemic index butan overall low glycemic load makingit a better choice that what may have

originally thought.

Foods with a low glycemic load keepour blood sugars level and consistent.This is good. Those oods that have a


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higher glycemic load cause a peak in ourblood sugar, blood glucose levels, andwe experience a surge o energy andthen the crash. An example o this would

be the e ects o a candy bar.

This surge and drop also makes us eel

hungry when we really arent and causescravings. The key hormone or regulatingour blood sugar levels is insulin. Whenwe eat ood that has a high glycemic

load our body produces more insulintrying to metabolize the large amount oglucose we have just eaten.

When the bodys cells are ull and canno longer Utilize the glucose, we haveexcessive insulin in our blood and bloodsugar levels rise. Symptoms that signalthat a person may be developing insulin

resistance are increased belly at, sugarcravings, high triglyceride levels, low LDLcholesterol, high blood pressure andincreased infammation. It is a viciouscycle o producing more insulin, ourbody not being able to metabolize it andexperiencing those symptoms.

d et f c sed n f ds w t

a w yce c ad as reatea t ene ts s c as:

Easier weight loss Keep blood sugar levels

more consistentBurn more calories Help prevent insulin resistance

and diabetesLower heart disease risk

Looking at the glycemic load o oodmakes sense because you dont eatjust one ood but you combine several

oods in a meal. Looking at the totalpicture gives you a more accurateunderstanding o what really makes upyour diet.


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Foods are rated within Glycemic Loadranges. Low GL oods have a valuebelow 10. Medium GL oods have a valueo 11-19. High GL oods are those with a

value o 20+. As a general guideline, themore ber rich a ood is the better. Themain point or weight loss is to keep tolower glycemic load choices.

These are going to be lots o reshoods like ruits and vegetables. Is

that a surprise? It is sensible tocombine these carbohydrate oods with

protein such as sh, eggs, and cheese.Foods have a zero glycemic load.Protein helps maintain consistent bloodsugar levels. The ocus or weight lossshould be a common sense approachwith meals including a carbohydrate,protein and at.

er cans see t sess

w t we t ssAs mentioned be ore, Americans seemto obsess with weight loss. Taking abalanced, common sense approachalso means that we should try to losebody at and not muscle mass. Thismeans that exercise is important andhas to be included in our daily li e.

These are two li estyle choices that willprovide your body with the nutrients itneeds or good health, keep you eeling

ull and provide you with energy.The ollowing is not an inclusive list, butwill give you an idea o the glycemic loadranges and what ood choices aregood choices.

F ds w t a w yce cad f 10 r ess:

Kidney, garbanzo, pinto, soy, andblack beans

Fiber-rich ruits and vegetables, likecarrots, green peas, apples, grape ruit,and watermelon

Cereals made with 100 percent branLentilsCashews and peanuts Whole-grain breads like barley,

pumpernickel, and whole wheatWhole-wheat tortillas

Tomato juiceMilk

F ds w t a ed yce cad f 11 t 19:

Whole-wheat pasta and some breadsOatmealBarley and bulgurFruit juices without extra sugar

Rice cakes/Brown riceSweet potatoGraham crackers

F ds w t a yce cad f 20 r re:

High-sugar beveragesCandySweetened ruit juices

CouscousWhite riceWhite pastaFrench ries and baked potatoesLow- ber cereals (high in added sugar)Macaroni and cheesePizzaRaisins and dates


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Surprises

Favorites

rei e tewithfla l40


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With spice consumption at an all-time highacross America, its an exciting time forflavor. According to the McCormick

Flavor Forecast 2011, different tastes, textures andcolors are mixed and matched to deliver fun andexcitement to eating.

Were seeing a more adventuresome spirit inthe kitchen playful takes on Americas favoritesthat bring both the comfort of familiarity and theenergy of the unexpected, says Larry Tong,McCormick chef. For example, a contemporarycombination of mustard seed and vermouthsparks a martini-inspired steak kabob, completewith onion and olive garnishes.

Tong sees this lighthearted approach showingup in every course of the meal right through todessert. Taking a cue from the reports Herbes deProvence & Popcorn pairing, a deliciously creamy,no-bake cheesecake has a crust of playful andcrunchy crushed popcorn accented with savoryHerbes de Provence.

For more recipes and featured flavors, visitwww.FlavorForecast.com.

Heat large nonstick skillet on medium heat. Add mustard seed; cook and stir 1 minuteor until fragrant. Immediately pour out of hot pan to avoid over-toasting. Coarsely crushseeds using a rolling pin or a mortar and pestle. Reserve 1 tablespoon for the MustardVinaigrette (recipe sidebar).

Mix remaining mustard seed, vermouth, oil, lemon juice, honey, olive juice, lemon peel,

sea salt, garlic and pepper in large bowl until well blended. Reserve 1/4 cup of themarinade for brushing. Place remaining marinade in large resealable plastic bag orglass dish. Add steak; turn to coat well. Refrigerate 2 hours or longer for extra flavor.

Meanwhile, bring water to boil in small saucepan. Add onions; cook 5 minutes. Drainwell. Cool onions slightly. Cut off top and bottom ends, then peel onions. Removesteak from marinade. Discard remaining marinade. Alternately thread steak, onionsand olives onto 16 skewers.

Grill kabobs over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes or until steak is desired doneness,turning occasionally and brushing with reserved marinade. Serve kabobs with MixedGreens with Mustard Vinaigrette.

D rty mart n teak Ka sMakes 8 servings (2 kabobs and 1 cup salad each)

Prep Time: 20 minutesRefrigerate Time: 2 hoursCook Time: 15 minutes3 tablespoons McCormick Gourmet

Collection Yellow Mustard Seed3/4 cup dry vermouth1/2 cup olive oil1/4 cup fresh lemon juice2 tablespoons honey

1 1/2 teaspoons grated lemon peel2 tablespoons juice from green olives1 1/2 teaspoons McCormick Gourmet Collection

Sicilian Sea Salt1 teaspoon minced garlic1/4 teaspoon McCormick Gourmet Collection

Coarse Grind Black Pepper2 pounds boneless beef sirloin steak, cut into

1-inch cubes

16 small cippolini onions16 large pimiento-stuffed green olives

Mixed Greens with Mustard Vinaigrette


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As a young teenager, Fabi Preslar wasintroduced to Yvonne a vibrant,outspoken French woman whowould become her li e-long mentor.On Heavens Couch describes thejourney that they took together andthe emotional and Spiritual strengthPreslar attributes to her lessons learned.She explains how Yvonnes strongdose o reality coupled with toughlove and heart elt lessons helped herto transition rom a shy introvert to asuccess ul businesswoman, empoweringpublic speaker and mentor.

Filled with bold lessons and poignantquotes, On Heavens Couch encouragesreaders to love li e, appreciate its littleheavens and, in Yvonnes words, Begood to yoursel .

my journey with a masterful mentorHeavenson Couch

SPARK Publications Presents

A ter thirteen years o helping others sel -publish their stories, SPARK Publicationspresident Fabi Preslar has switched gears,picked up her pen, and written her frstbook Fabi decided to writeOn Heavens

has helped her connect not only with otheremale entrepreneurs, but with her clients, as

well. I knew writing a book was hardbutnot this hard! However, with the help o my SPARK Team and the same resources that

To purchase, go to:www.SPARKpublications.com/ohcbook

Orders will begin shipping a ter February 17th.

Documents

Women With Know-How April 2011 Issue