Adult led lesson

Who I am: Gender identity and sexual orientationBackground and rationaleThis lesson familiarizes students with the most common terms related to sexual identity. An understanding of these concepts, and the way that culture affects our attitudes about gender roles and expectations, is essential to any discussion about sexual feelings, attractions, relationships, behaviors and decision-making. This lesson sets the tone for an inclusive environment that affirms all young people and acknowledges the range of ways that people experience their sexuality.

2Lesson

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Table of contents

Lesson sections123

Before you go into the classroom ....................... 4

Introduction and ground rules ........................... 10

Gender identity and expression ......................... 11

Gender role stereotypes ..................................... 13

Myths and facts ................................................... 21

Closure ................................................................. 27

Teacher resources ............................................... 29

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Before you go into the classroom

Objectives

By the end of this lesson, students will be able to:

• Identify the differences between biological sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation

• Identify the diversity of experiences regarding gender identity and sexual orientation

• Understand external influences on attitudes about gender, gender roles, sexual orientation and gender identity

• Identify reliable sources of information about sexual orientation and gender identity

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Oregon Health Standards

1: Students will comprehend concepts related to health promotion and disease prevention to enhance health.

1.6.21 – Identify the differences between biological sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity and expression.

1.6.23 Define gender roles, gender identity and sexual orientation across cultures.

1.6.24 – Identify diversity among people, including age, disability, national origin, race, ethnicity, color, marital status, biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression.

1.6.35 – Define how sexuality includes a multitude of sexual expressions and behaviors that are a normal part of being human.

3: Students will demonstrate the ability to access valid information, products and services to enhance health.

3.6.9 – Identify resources, including people at home, school or in the community, who can provide medically accurate information and/or support about healthy sexuality, including sexual orientation and gender identity.

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Video

Activity to be completed

Teacher resources

InstructionsStatements to be made to the class

Legend

Discussion/information

This lesson takes 50–55 minutes as written depending on the length of discussions.

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Material list

From Classroom Handouts packet:

• “ Gender and Sexual Orientation: Understanding Terms” worksheet

• “MYTH” and “FACT” cards

• “Home Learning Opportunity 2” worksheet

Created or provided by Classroom Facilitator:

• Ground rules copied onto poster paper or white board

• LCD projector

• Laptop or other computer to show PowerPoint

• Markers

• Board or poster paper

• List of resources on gender and sexual orientation

• Blank pieces of paper for question box

• Question box

PowerPoint:

• Slides with LGBTQ definitions

Videos: (embedded in the PowerPoint)

• Gender identity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9YwOE8ndnc&t=7s

• Gender expression: https://youtu.be/ITRdvGnplLU

• Sexual orientation: https://youtu.be/P5x5Fo7rMvY? list=PLwKLUKhFLWhav9H3gXizjzcubZ6QP4Yhh

Teacher resource:

• “Additional terms and definitions”

• “Genderbread Person”

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•

Classroom setup/preparation

Organize small mixed-gender groups before class starts.

• Display ground rules and keep them up for the duration of all lessons.

• Copy one per student:

» “ Gender and Sexual Orientation: Understanding Terms” worksheet

» “MYTH” and “FACT” cards

» “Home Learning Opportunity 2” worksheet

» List of resources (websites, videos, books, etc.) on gender and sexual orientation created by classroom facilitator.

• Have LCD projector hooked up and ready to go.

» If an LCD projector is unavailable or PowerPoint slides are not an option, make copies of slides to use with a document camera or as handouts.

• Make sure you have internet connection to play videos.

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Special instructions

Activity adaptations:

• Because there can be many terms related to gender and sexual orientation, a student may ask about a term that is unfamiliar to you or ask a question you can’t or don’t feel comfortable answering. If you are concerned about this, one approach is to say you will write down all questions (on poster paper/board or on a piece of paper) and you will respond later. This will give you time to research and prepare appropriate responses. If there is time, you can answer these questions at a future date. If not, write up the questions and responses and hand them out to students later.

• For further guidance, please review “Teacher Resources” at the end of this lesson. They provide additional commonly used terms and definitions related to gender and sexual orientation, and a visual model for understanding the different components of sexual identity known as the “Genderbread Person.”

Note:

Language around gender and sexual orientation can be complex and continues to change and evolve. Commonly used words mean different things to different people. What is considered most affirming (or offensive) will vary by audience and location. It is important to keep informed of changes in preferred terms and meanings over time.

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Introductions and ground rules

Today we are going to be discussing identity. Identity has to do with who we are, and there can be many parts to it. For example, you are students; that is part of your identity. In this class we are going to be looking at parts of our sexual identity, including our gender identity and our sexual orientation.

Before we get started, let’s review the ground rules.

Review ground rules from poster.

• Respect each other’s ideas and opinions.

• Do not tell personal stories or ask personal questions.

• Everyone should participate as much as possible.

• It’s OK to pass.

• Clapping pattern = stop and listen.

(Demostrate clap pattern with students.)

Pass out slips of paper for question box.

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Gender identity and expression

Activity 13Minutes

Just like in the last lesson when we discussed puberty, when we talk about sexual identity there are a lot of terms that may be new to some of you. Some people may have slightly different definitions of words than other people, and some people may use different words for the same thing. This can be confusing. People of different ages, from different cultures or even from different parts of the state or country might use words that are not the same. So, it is a good idea to ask people what they mean if you are not sure.

We are going to learn about what we mean in our program when we use different words associated with sexual identity.

Hand out “Gender and Sexual Orientation: Understanding Terms” worksheet.

There are a lot of new terms in this lesson. To help you remember, follow along on your worksheet and, next to each new term, write the letter of its matching definition from the right hand column.

First, let’s talk about gender identity.

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Go through the PowerPoint slides and review terms related to gender identity and expression.

(If an LCD projector is unavailable, make copies of the slides to use with a document camera or as student handouts.)

In the PowerPoint there are two short videos to help explain these concepts.

Teacher’s note:

There may be terms related to gender identity and sexual orientation not covered in this lesson that students have heard before and are curious about. The teacher’s resource at the end of the lesson includes additional terms and definitions to help you define these terms if they come up.

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Gender role stereotypes

Activity 10Minutes

When you come to the slides on gender roles, ask students to identify common gender role expectations by answering the questions on the slide.

Has anyone heard of the story “Cinderella”?

What do you remember about this fairy tale?

Now I’m going to read you some of the story of “Cinderella,” but with a little twist. As I read, pay attention to anything that feels strange or unusual.

Read the “Cinderella” fairytale (next page).

Teacher’s note:

It is not necessary to read the entire story to make the point. If you have additional time, you may choose to read the story in its entirety. Otherwise, stop where indicated in the story and begin discussion.

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“Cinderella”Once upon a time, there lived a lonely young boy. His father had died, and his mother had remarried another man, a widower with two sons. His new stepfather didn’t like the boy one little bit. All the good things, kind words and special privileges were only for his own sons. They got fancy clothes, delicious food and special treats. But for the boy, there was nothing at all. No nice clothes, no privileges or even rest, for he had to work hard all day, grocery shopping, cooking, washing clothes and keeping the whole house clean. Only when evening came was he allowed to sit for a while alone to relax by the fire.

During these long evenings alone, he used to cry and talk to the cat. The cat said, “Meow,” which really meant, “Cheer up! You have something neither of your stepbrothers have, and that is beauty.” What the cat said was quite true. Even dressed in rags with his face grimy from the cinders, he was an attractive young man, while no matter how elegant their clothes, his stepbrothers were clumsy and not as pretty.

One day, beautiful new clothes, shoes and jewelry began to arrive at the house. The queen was holding a ball and the stepbrothers were getting ready to attend. They were continually standing in front of the mirror. The boy had to help them dress up in all their finery. He didn’t dare ask,

“What about me?” for he knew very well what the answer to that would be: “You? You’re staying at home to wash the dishes, scrub the floors and turn down the beds for your stepbrothers. They will come home tired and very sleepy.”

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Teacher’s note:

For the sake of time, you can stop the story at this point and begin the discussion of gender role expectations. If there is additional time, you may wish to finish the story after the discussion.

After the brothers and their father had left for the ball, the boy brushed away his tears and sighed to the cat. “Oh dear, I’m so unhappy!” Just then, a flash of light flooded the kitchen and a fairy appeared. “Don’t be alarmed, young boy,” said the fairy. “I know you are longing to go to the ball. And so you shall!”

With a flick of his magic wand, the fairy dressed the boy in the most beautiful clothing, the loveliest ever seen in the land. “Now that we have settled the matter of what to wear,” said the fairy, “we’ll need to get you a carriage.” The fairy flicked his magic wand at a fine pumpkin sitting in the corner of the kitchen and the pumpkin turned into a sparkling carriage. Then he flicked his wand again at a family of seven mice huddling by the fire and turned them into six white horses, while the seventh mouse turned into a driver, in a beautiful dress. The poor boy could hardly believe his eyes.

You will soon see that the princess, in whose honor the ball is being held, will be enchanted by your good heart and charming good looks. But remember! You must leave the ball at midnight and come home. For that is when the spell ends. Your carriage will turn back into a pumpkin, the horses will become mice again and the carriage driver will turn back into a mouse. And you will be dressed again in drab clothes and wearing clogs instead of these splendid dancing shoes!

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When the boy entered the ballroom at the palace, a hush fell. Everyone stopped to admire his elegance, his beauty and grace. “Who can that be?” people asked each other. The two stepbrothers also wondered who the newcomer was, for never would they have guessed that the beautiful boy was really their stepbrother!

Then the princess set eyes on his beauty. Walking over to him, she curtsied and asked him to dance. And to the great disappointment of all the young gentlemen, she danced with the boy all evening. “Who are you, beautiful young man?” the princess kept asking him. But the boy only replied, “What does it matter who I am? You will never see me again anyway.” “Oh, but I shall, I’m quite certain!” she replied.

The boy had a wonderful time at the ball but, all of a sudden, he heard the sound of a clock: the first stroke of midnight! He remembered what the fairy had said and, without a word of goodbye, he slipped from the princess’s arms and ran down the steps. As he ran, he lost one of his dancing shoes, but not for a moment did he dream of stopping to pick it up! If the last stroke of midnight were to sound ... oh, what a disaster that would be! Out he fled and vanished into the night.

The princess picked up his dancing shoe and proclaimed that she would marry the boy whose foot the slipper would fit. She said to her ministers, “Go and search everywhere for the boy that fits this shoe. I will never be content until I find him!”

When a minister came to the house where the boy lived with his stepfather and stepbrothers, the two stepbrothers couldn’t even get a toe in the shoe. When the minister asked if there were any other young men in the

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household, the stepfather told her “no.” However, just then the cat caught her attention, tugging at her trouser leg and leading her to the kitchen.

There sat the boy by the fireplace. The minister tried on the slipper and to her surprise, it fit him perfectly. “That awful untidy boy simply cannot have been at the ball,” snapped the stepfather. “Tell the princess she ought to marry one of my two sons! Can’t you see how unattractive the boy is! Can’t you see?”

Suddenly the fairy appeared. “That’s enough!” he exclaimed, raising his magic wand. In a flash, the boy appeared in a beautiful outfit, shining with youth and good looks. His stepfather and stepbrothers looked at him in amazement, and the ministers said, “Come with us, handsome young man! The princess awaits to present you with her engagement ring!” So the boy joyfully went with them. The princess married him a few days later, and they lived happily ever after.

Process the story using the following questions:

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What did you think of the story?

What made this story sound unusual?

(“Cinderella” is a boy, not a girl.)

What descriptions in the story seem strange when they are applied to a boy instead of a girl?

(All of the descriptions were typical stereotypes about females: emphasis on looks and beauty; crying when sad; responsibility for domestic chores such as cleaning and cooking, caring for others.)

Teacher’s note:

If students mention that it was strange for the boy to cry:

Do we think it is strange when we read about a girl in a story crying?

Why not?

Do all girls cry?

Do some boys cry?

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If they mention the focus on cleaning and cooking:

Do we think it is strange when we read about a girl in a story cleaning or cooking?

Is this something that we think girls are supposed to do? What about boys?

When this focus on beauty, looks and clothing appear in the original story about a girl, does it seem as strange as when it is applied to a boy?

Why or why not?

(These are stereotypical gender roles for females — we don’t even notice them — or these are very old stereotypes that don’t apply to girls anymore.)

Are these accurate descriptions of girls or boys today?

(Maybe some, not typical for anyone to have all those characteristics; that is why they are considered stereotypes.)

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It is interesting how silly stereotypes may seem when we hear them reversed, yet we don’t always notice just how inappropriate they can be for any gender — or that they could apply to any gender.

It is important to pay attention to other literature, in addition to children’s stories, as well as the media, advertising, etc. to see the gender roles being portrayed and to think about whether or not they make sense.

Each person should be able to decide for themselves how they want to express themselves and how they want to act.

Continue going through the slides reviewing concepts related to sexual orientation including showing a video.

Once PowerPoint is complete, hand out a “Myth” and “Fact” card to each student for the “Myths and facts” activity.

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Myths and facts

Activity 10Minutes

Now that you’ve gotten a bit of an overview, let’s see what you remember — as well as what else you know — about these topics. There are a lot of different beliefs, misconceptions and myths about gender and sexual orientation. For each statement, I want you to hold up your “MYTH” sign if you think the statement is false or your “FACT” sign if you think the statement is true.

Ready?

Read each statement one at a time. Have students guess either myth or fact and then give the correct information. See answer key and explanation at the end of this activity.

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1. People can choose their sexual orientation. (MYTH)

2. People can choose their gender identity. (MYTH)

3. People can choose their gender expression. (FACT)

4. You can usually tell a person’s sexual orientation just by looking at them. (MYTH)

5. A girl who is really athletic is either a lesbian or transgender. (MYTH)

6. A person can look like a boy or a man and feel on the inside like they are a girl or a woman. (FACT)

7. A person can know their sexual orientation without ever doing anything sexual with another person. (FACT)

8. There are more than just two genders. (FACT)

9. A person’s family can have a big impact on their beliefs and attitudes toward people of different gender identities and sexual orientations. (FACT)

10. The media (TV, music, magazines) have no impact on how society views transgender, gay or lesbian people. (MYTH)

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Myth and facts answer key

1. People can choose their sexual orientation.

• MYTH: Sexual orientation has to do with the gender(s) of the people we’re attracted to, physically and romantically. We don’t choose our feelings just like we don’t choose who we find attractive. What we can choose is whether to act on those feelings, as well as what we call ourselves based on those feelings (our identity).

2. People can choose their gender identity.

• MYTH: Just like sexual orientation, a person doesn’t choose to feel like a boy, a girl or a combination of both. What we can choose is what we call ourselves, even if it doesn’t match our physical body (boy, girl, transgender, etc.)

3. People can choose their gender expression.

• FACT: A person can choose to let people know their gender in whatever way feels comfortable or right to them. That includes girls who wear dresses and are stereotypically “feminine,” and girls who wear jeans, T-shirts and work boots and present as more stereotypically

“masculine.” There are lots of ways to express ourselves, and that includes how we express our gender. No one has the right to tell us if how we express ourselves is right or wrong. It just has to be right to us.

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4. You can usually tell a person’s sexual orientation just by looking at them.

• MYTH: Some people will stereotype another person based on their gender expression. Based on what they see, they will think they know a person’s sexual orientation. For example, they will see a stereotypically “masculine” male (gender role) and assume he is heterosexual. He may be, but he may not be. And while some people do fulfill stereotypes — that person may very well be heterosexual — it does not mean, for example, that all masculine males or all feminine females are heterosexual. Sexual orientation has to do with whom a person is attracted to; gender expression is separate from that.

5. A girl who is really athletic is either a lesbian or transgender.

• MYTH: This is another example of stereotyping. Athleticism is a talent and a skill that a person of any gender can have. Some people who are athletic are heterosexual, some are lesbian or gay, and some are bisexual or have a different sexual identity. Similarly, some are girls, some are boys and some are transgender or identify somewhere else along the gender spectrum.

6. A person can look like a boy or a man and feel on the inside like a girl or a woman.

• FACT: Some people find the idea of being transgender easier to understand when what they see matches what they are being told. For example, when Caitlyn Jenner announced she was transgender, many people struggled with

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understanding this because Bruce Jenner was a very masculine Olympic champion who was assigned male at birth. Once she transitioned and looked like a woman, many people saw the connection. It’s important to remember, however, that the outside doesn’t always have to match the inside. Even before Caitlyn started altering her appearance, when she was still known as Bruce, she felt on the inside that she was a woman. We can look one way and feel totally different. How we feel on the inside — our identity — is what matters.

7. A person can know their sexual orientation without ever doing anything sexual with another person.

• FACT: Some people may say, “How do you know you are gay or heterosexual if you have never been in a relationship with a boy or a girl?” A person’s sexual orientation is based on whom they are attracted to. It is about their feelings, not their behaviors. A person can know their feelings without acting on them.

8. There are more than just two genders.

• FACT: Although our society tends to talk about gender as if it is binary, meaning there are only two, boy (male) and girl (female), some people don’t see themselves as either a boy or a girl but as something else entirely. For this reason, we say that gender falls on a spectrum, meaning there are many different ways people can feel and call themselves. Different cultures have different gender definitions and categories.

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9. A person’s family can have a big impact on their beliefs and attitudes toward people of different gender identities and sexual orientations.

• FACT: Most people get their values and attitudes from their family, religion and communities. Some of these groups may have attitudes or beliefs that are different from what you hear at school or from your friends. No matter what you or your family believes, it is important to remember that everyone deserves respect and dignity.

10. The media (TV, music, magazines) have no impact on how society views transgender, gay or lesbian people.

• MYTH: The media are very powerful messengers about how to view people. They tend to represent heterosexual and cisgender people more frequently. Sometimes gay, lesbian and transgender people are portrayed in stereotypical and incorrect ways. Unfortunately, this can give many people the wrong impression about who they are. It is so important not to rely on popular media for accurate information or values related to this topic.

That was a great job everyone.

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Discussion/information 4Minutes

There is so much to learn about the topic of our sexual identity and there are so many parts to it. That’s why I want you to hold onto your worksheet.

As we go through new lessons, you may want to refer to it to remember all the definitions. Keep in mind that we only talked about some of the terms related to our sexual identity. There are many more you may have heard and wondered about. If there are other terms you are curious about, feel free to put a question about that term in the question box.

Teacher’s note:

If there is time and you feel comfortable expanding this discussion, you can ask students what other terms related to sexual identity, gender or sexual orientation they may have heard or wondered about so that you can define some of them.

(Some common terms might include intersex, genderfluid, genderqueer, bicurious, agender, asexual, pansexual, among others.)

Refer to the Teacher’s Resource included in this lesson for guidance. If there are terms you are not sure about or have never heard, tell students you will find out what they mean and report to them before the next lesson.

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Closure

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This lesson may have also raised more questions for you about gender identity and sexual orientation. There are many good books for students your age. You can check some out at the library. Also, there are some very good websites but not all websites have reliable information. So it is important to check with an adult — either a parent, guardian, other trusted adult or the school nurse or a counselor — to see which websites are reliable.

Make sure to have a list of resources available at your school, including books in your school library, to give specific suggestions.

It might also be helpful before the lesson to bring in some age-appropriate resources to keep in the classroom following the lesson so students can look at them at their leisure.

Collect anonymous questions for question box.

For your home learning opportunity, spend some time sharing with a parent, guardian or trusted adult what we learned today and ask them to share what they learned. See how learning about this topic has changed since they were your age and what has stayed the same.

In our next lesson, we are going to discuss the importance of treating all people with respect and dignity.

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Teacher resources

Additional terms and definitions

Note:

Language around gender and sexual orientation can be complex and continues to change and evolve. Commonly used words mean different things to different people. What is considered to be most affirming (or offensive) will vary by audience and location. It is important to keep informed of changes in preferred terms and meanings over time.

Agender: A person who does not identify as having a gender identity that can be categorized as male or female. (Teaching Transgender Toolkit, Green and Maurer, 2015)

Asexual: Experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions. (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com)

Bicurious: A curiosity about having attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar to questioning). (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com)

Bigender: A person who experiences gender identity as two genders at the same time, or whose gender identity may vary between two genders. These may be masculine and feminine, man and woman, or could also include non-binary identities. (Teaching Transgender Toolkit, Green and Maurer, 2015)

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Genderfluid: A person whose gender identity or expression shifts between masculine and feminine, or moves across this spectrum. (Teaching Transgender Toolkit, Green and Maurer, 2015)

Gender non-conforming: A person whose gender expression is perceived as inconsistent with cultural norms expected for that gender. Specifically, this relates to boys/men who are not perceived as masculine enough or as feminine, or girls/women who are not perceived as feminine enough or as masculine. Both cisgender and transgender people can be gender non-conforming. Gender non-conformity is often inaccurately confused with sexual orientation. (Teaching Transgender Toolkit, Green and Maurer, 2015)

Genderqueer: A gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman; or as an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). Genderqueer people may combine aspects of boy/man and girl/woman identities and other identities such as bigender, pangender; not have a gender or identify with a gender (genderless, agender); move between genders (genderfluid); be third gender or other-gendered; include those who do not place a name to their gender or have an overlap of, or blurred lines between, gender identity and sexual and romantic orientation. (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com)

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Intersex: A person with a genetic, genital, reproductive or hormonal configuration resulting in a body that often cannot be easily categorized as male or female. The term “disorder of sex development” (DSD) is sometimes used as well. (Teaching Transgender Toolkit, Green and Maurer, 2015)

Pansexual: A person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com)

Queer: Used as an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as heterosexual. Also used to describe people who have a non-normative gender identity, or as a political affiliation. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, it is not embraced or used by all members of the LGBTQ community. The term “queer” can often be used interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer folks” instead of “LGBTQ folks”). If a person tells you they are not comfortable with you referring to them as queer, don’t. Always respect individuals’ preferences when it comes to identity labels, particularly contentious ones (or ones with troubled histories) like this. Use the word

“queer”only if you are comfortable explaining to others what it means because some people feel uncomfortable with the word. It is best to know/feel comfortable explaining why you choose to use it if someone inquires. (http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com)

Questioning: A person who is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. (Teaching Transgender Toolkit, Green and Maurer, 2015)

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Genderbread Person teacher resource

Sex (biological sex): What’s physically between a person’s legs. Anatomy, hormones and organs. This does not determine sexual orientation or gender.

Gender identity: A person’s psychological sense of self; who someone is intrinsically and identifies as. For example, cisgender, girl/woman, transgender, genderqueer, boy/man, agender.

Gender expression: How people express themselves in society. This can be through clothing, hairstyles, gestures, makeup and/or behaviors.

Attraction (sexual orientation): A person’s sexual and/or romantic attraction for another person. For example, gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, heterosexual, pansexual, asexual.

Identity

Attraction

Sex

Expression

The Genderbread Person is a helpful model for understanding the different parts of sexual identity.