8/13/2019 When l Speak of the Dissatisfied Youth

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When l speaks of the dissatisfied youth, I speak of those who strive constantly for worldly goods ormaterial possessions. These provide a very temporary respite for satisfaction indeed. Oftenmaterial objects gained are soon discarded, ignored or taken for granted.

We are living, however, in an increasingly superficial society where material objects are discarded almostas soon as they appear, to be supplanted with more and newer or better objects. We are living, as onemight say, in a 'disposable' society. Gadgets, computers, cars and virtually everything are made to go outof style or fashion.

Technology moves from one change which usually means improvement, at least temporarily, to another.Material objects are not made to last but rather to wear out, to be replaced ad infinitum. Unless the latest isavailable, affordable and possess-able, many young people, and older ones as well, find themselvesdissatisfied.

It is the same with personal relationships. Relationships and even marriages do not endure. One third ofmarriages end in divorce and the same un-enduring situation occur very often in subsequent relationshipsand marriages. We make vows which most of us intend to keep and yet many of us do not or cannot keep.Why is this case? The answer or answers are not simple. In fact there are many answers. In my view, it is

part of our dissatisfaction syndrome. This is not to say that past youths were entirely satisfied with theirrelationships or marriages. Many stayed together from pure necessity or pressure by their religion, familiesor their feelings of responsibility for children - and many similar reasons.

Falling 'in love' seems to be easy but so is falling out of love. What is lacking today in all of us who feeldissatisfied is probably a lack of commitment to another person or to a principle. What is forgotten is thevow that marriage and many other relationships are for richer or poorer, for better or for worse. In otherwords, when things go wrong. When all goes well, it is not hard to sustain a relationship. It is when thingsgo wrong that we have difficulties.

It is then we seek to dispose 'he' or 'she' for another and yet another. Perhaps we expect too much fromanother person and too little from ourselves. The grass is always greener on the other side.

This lends to disposing of people as well as material objects. We assume that the next one (possession orpartner) will be better, will be more durable. There is a poverty within ourselves which we fail toacknowledge and therefore to rectify. Thus there is no enduring quality in either the material objects weacquire of the human relationships we seek. We become dissatisfied and seek for something better.

Was I too, dissatisfied? The answer in all honest must be yes. The reason from my own dissatisfaction washowever, very different from the predominant section of society today as far as youth is concerned. I neverwanted to possess great wealth, property or material possessions. If I have now accumulated all this, it wasnot due to my desire for it as an end in itself. That I am now comfortably well off and live in a large house ispurely accidental. The house was once occupied by twenty to thirty children who were considered to be toomaladjusted, handicapped, damaged, violent, destructive or self-destructive to be able to live as membersof a 'normal' society. My wealth, which, as I have said, is comfortable, provides me, in some degree, with

security and that is all I ever wanted.That was not always the way for me. There were times in my twenties and even thirties when I went hungryand often did not even have a roof over my head under which to lie down or sleep in comfort. It was mostlymy own fault, as I wandered around the globe looking for myself! (That was not an easy matter and I amstill, to some degree, looking.) What certainly gave me grounds for dissatisfaction was that I craved forsomething which would give me the ability to create and still to survive, not to be rich but to be able to livein some degree of security.

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I never, however, craved for material possessions or money, as I said before. I wanted just enough moneyso that I could create poems, stories, and novels and have the leisure to do it. It was the prospect of thiswhich gave me pleasure, albeit I was never successful in that Endeavour. It also gave meaning andsubstance to my life. Unfortunately I was, and still am, unsuccessful in this area and hence somewhatdissatisfied because I never published a novel, a poem or a story.

I turned elsewhere to achieve some measure of gratification by becoming a psychologist and writingnumerous articles and books about my work. This gave me more satisfaction than earning the money forthe day-to-day work that I did, but most especially gratifying was the work I did. Work was the means to anend rather than the end itself, in the form of financial reward, for me.

When I speak about the 'dissatisfied youth', I do not mean those who strive to achieve by developing theirintellectual, physical or creative potential. There is nothing wrong with striving for these goals. They are thebringers of intrinsic satisfaction, both when striving as well as when achieving a goal. The fact that both theactions towards achievement and the actual achievement itself do not bring permanent gratification is not areason for not striving. At Goethe noted: das leben stereben - striving is living or being alive.

I criticize a new youth, but indubitably the same criticisms or similar criticism were made about past ones. It

is the fact that we have both avoided - and come to terms with the avoidance of - worshipping the right kindof God. I am not speaking about religion necessarily, but valuing principles of sensitivity to other people, theimportance of justice and fair play, and principles on how to behave irrespective of the consequences.These are what can be substituted for both material possessions, and power and wealth.

Showing the right kind of behavior towards other human beings irrespective of their origin, whether they areone of us or one of another, would appear to be paramount and should be inculcated by parents, byschools and the mass media and anyone influencing young persons. The failure to do this leaves everyyouth in a vacuum as to what to believe and how to live. It produces the seeds for the title that promoteswhat must be conceived and considered as a dissatisfied youth.