What Would Happen if You Did Not Teach Your Children to Read?

By Pat WesolowskiWould you scar them for life? Would CPS take your children away? Would your children grow up illiterate? One year I made the decision not to teach my youngest two children to read. Why would I make such a decision? Being an enthusiastic homeschooling mother, I found it easy to teach my oldest two girls to read at age 4. Piece of cake. Then the three boys came along. No more cake for me.

Having a father who taught at FSU and a sister who is a university professor, I succumbed to the pressures of meeting the expectations of others and tried, repeatedly, to teach the boys to read. Finally, at the suggestion of a friend, I read several books such as Homeschooling for Excellence, Better Late Than Early, and Learning in Spite of Labels. Realizing I was probably causing all kinds of problems by forcing this issue, I backed off and relaxed.

The older two boys did learn to read, but they did not develop a love for reading. The third boy (fifth child) was fortunate in that I had relaxed before he was old enough to be damaged by my desire to make all of my kiddos read by a certain age, and out of my nine children, he is my most avid reader. With the next two children I continued to be relaxed but did teach them to read, eventually, using the book Teach Your Child to Read in One Hundred Easy Lessons. They were both reading by Lesson 40.

By this time I had authored a few homeschooling publications, and I was often asked to speak at homeschool conventions. During my talks I suggested that a parent could attempt to raise a child without teaching him anything and then, in his senior year, catch up to where the world thought he needed to be, educationally speaking. There are a few problems with that suggestion, to-wit: (1) It is impossible not to teach your child something every day, and (2) those of us who love learning and teaching would find that task impossible. However, in light of the pressure so many moms were putting themselves under, I did decide not to teach my youngest two children to read and see what would happen. Knowing that it is far more important that a child eventually learns to read than it is to brag about the age when one learns to read, I was willing to take a wait-and-see attitude. Guess what happened?

Before I tell you the rest of the story, let’s discuss the importance of developing an educational mission statement. If your number-one desire is to raise children who make high scores on standardized tests, you will have different goals than a parent who desires to raise a child who loves learning and who can find information independently, verify it, and share it with others. For many years now I have encouraged parents to be the master of their ships, setting the sail toward their desired destinations, planning their academic adventure based on their goals instead of commonly held ideas about scope and sequence, segregating subjects. I frowned upon the idea of duplicating the school system with which we are all most familiar.

Instead, I suggested that parents concentrate on developing a Biblical worldview, reading good books, and creating public speaking opportunities, as well as teaching logic, debate, and current events. In addition, and perhaps most important, I suggested that parents teach their children how to ask the right questions, question the answers, and be secure in discovering the truth (developing strong research skills). Being confident that my youngest two would eventually learn to read, I made the decision not to teach them to read in order to see what would happen. What I did do each year, with purpose, was to plan and expedite co-ops that were designed to create a safe and friendly learning environment. These co-ops created opportunities for honing the skills most important to raising functioning, thoughtful children who can think critically, who understand why they believe what they believe, and who can articulate and defend those beliefs orally and in writing.

Was I concerned that my experiment would harm my children? Absolutely not, or I would not have been willing to forgo reading lessons. When an adult applies for a job, he is never asked this question: “At what age did you learn to read?” Employers do not care when you learned to read; they only care that you can read. Did you know that there is a U.S. President who did not learn to read until his wife taught him at age 17? (Use your research skills and verify that fact.)

Reading is a means to an end—not the end itself. We want to fan the flames of interest and show our children how reading is a tool that provides encouragement, comfort, information, and more.

By the way, I love to read, and I have always read aloud to my family. Our read-alouds were chosen to enhance the co-op studies. I’m also a book-aholic and a firm believer that there are never enough bookcases in a home to house all the books one should have on hand. Our non-readers had access to quite a few picture books and easy readers, which they could enjoy during rest time and play time.

The year I had decided not to worry about teaching my youngest two to read we were involved, as usual, in a co-op. We met once a week with several families whose children ranged in age from 4 to 16. Each week the students would give oral presentations to the group. My youngest, Ben, was quite shy and was usually clinging to my leg. The next to the youngest, Courtney, loved giving presentations, and since she could not yet read, she would memorize her reports. Even if I had been planning to teach these two to read, I would not have begun the lessons that particular year, because they were only 5 and 6 years old.

A wonderful thing happens at co-ops when children give weekly presentations: A few of the students give such great presentations that it motivates the others to reach higher levels of skill. Some of the children progressed from reading their presentations to using note cards as reminders. Courtney noticed this and asked me to put her presentation on note cards for her. When I asked her why she wanted note cards, since she could not read, she told me that she wanted to be like the older students. (Little did she realize that her memorization skills made her presentations better than the ones given by those who read reports or used note cards.)

I humored her and wrote a few sentences on some 3 x 5 cards. Rather than write her exact report, I made up sentences that pertained to her subject matter, but they weren’t verbatim to what she had memorized, since I believed she would only be pretending to read. Imagine my surprise when Courtney gave her report that day and instead of sharing what she had memorized, she read what I had written on the cards. After she finished her report I exclaimed, “Courtney, did you know you could read?” She smiled, and this was the beginning of her reading adventure.

Ben, who for weeks simply clung to my leg, began to relax and enjoy co-op so much that he was soon giving reports as well. He did not ask for 3 x 5 cards, and he was not reading that year, but he, too, eventually learned to read without a formal lesson! Although I did not use formal reading lessons with the youngest two, I did take advantage of opportunities to reinforce rules of phonics, pronunciation, and spelling, as those opportunities arose.

Is my goal to stop parents from teaching their children to read? Absolutely not. Reading is a vital and necessary skill that everyone should perfect. What I hope I have conveyed is this: Children learn at different ages and in different manners. There is no magical formula for when a child should be taught to read, nor is there one particular method that will work with every child. Research shows that a child’s eyes can be damaged if he is expected to read at too young of an age. From my experience I know that trying to force lessons on children before they are ready only creates additional problems.

Decide on long-range goals and then make a plan for reaching those goals, but keep in mind that raising children who enjoy learning is far more important than raising children who can read by a certain age. You can do it, and you do not need to worry if your child is not reading by a certain age, as long as he eventually learns to read!

Pat Wesolowski has been married to Don for forty years. She is the mother of nine children and soon-to-be grandmother of nine, and she has been homeschooling her children for more than twenty-seven years. Pat began writing curricula for homeschoolers in 1993. She has written several unit study guides that can be found at her website: www.dpkhomeschool.com. In addition, Pat blogs about homeschooling co-ops and worldview issues.

Copyright 2014, used with permission. All rights reserved by author. Originally appeared in the Annual Print 2014 issue of The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, the family education magazine. Read the magazine free at www.TOSMagazine.com or read it on the go and download the free apps at www.TOSApps.com to read the magazine on your mobile devices.