What Does It Takes to Be Good Parents

8/11/2019 What Does It Takes to Be Good Parents

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OUMH1303 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION

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What Does It takes to be Good Parents?

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I am Emy, the founder of Brainy Montessori. I am so

grateful to have such an honour standing here to deliver my speech entitled What does it

take to be good parents?I am sure all the parents here will agree with me that being parents

is tough. Bringing up children is a very difficult task. Everyone wishes to be good parents.

However, sometimes we could be so disheartened and weak when we get the feedback that

we are not good parents although we have done our best to provide the best for our children.

What is the cause of that? Today, let us learn how to be good parents together. Parenting is a

lifelong journey. As parents, we have an important responsibility. Every parent wants to be a

good parent and role model for our children. But effective parenting is not easy. It is a

journey of trial and error, day-and-night learning and growing together with your child.

According to Oxford Dictionary, parents define as a person who is a father or mother or a

person who has a child. Parents also define as to be or act as a mother or father to someone.

Good in other hand define in Oxford Dictionary as having the required qualities, of a high

standard, possessing or displaying moral virtue, and also that which is morally right.

Therefore for me, good parent is someone refer to father or mother who loves their childrenunconditionally, communicates openly with their children, is involved in their children lives

as much as they can be, someone who is there for them when they need someone, someone

who teaches good morals and values, someone who shows them right from wrong, strict but

not too strict.

Parenting is a lifelong journey. As parents, we have an important responsibility. Every parent

wants to be a good parent and role model for our children. But to be a good parent is not easy.

It is a journey of trial and error, continuous learning and growing together with your child.

Parents play a major role in the life of a child. Although, the invention of so many toys and

the influence of peers have greatly affected childrens behaviour of modern time, parents with

good traits can use these influences to mould the personality and behaviour of a child for the

good. I believe that ideal parents should be good moral, active participant in your childrens

life, understand their children, patience, praising, avoid comparing, positive role model, and

respect.


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Parents should have good moral character, because they are the role models of

children. It has been known that children are the reflection of their parents character.

Effective parents all teach their children both directly and indirectly, but especially by

example. Model the traits you want your child to learn, including good manners, respect and

friendliness. Set clear rules and enforce them. For example, have a set time for homework.

Good parents praise good behaviour, but have predetermined consequences for mistakes or

negative actions, such as no television if a child didn't finish her homework. Encourage

learning by taking your child to age-appropriate educational activities, such as the zoo or

concerts, and by filling your home with books, whether purchased or borrowed from the

library. Children who are exposed to books from an early age start school with a distinct

advantage because their vocabularies tend to be much larger and they've had a greater

exposure to speech and the written word.

Parents need to be active participants in the life of their child. Your child learns by

watching you, so be aware of what you project. Embrace your parenting job with enthusiasm,

compassion, a sense of humour and a clear memory of what its like to be a child. Take the

moment in time to know your childs personality and parent your child based on her strengths

and weaknesses.Spend time with each child individually. Try to divide your time equally if

you have more than one child. Listen and respect your child and respect what they want to do

with their life. Set aside a day to go to a park, theme parks, museum or library depending on

their interests. You can also attend school functions, do homework with them and visit their

teacher at open house to get a sense of how they are doing in school. If your child is loyal,

consistent and compliant because he or she wants your approval, a disapproving look or soft

word could rectify a misstep. A rough, take charge and independent child, however requires

more discipline. It happen to my second child, he is a very independent boy at age 2, eat by

himself, never cry when he walks and fell, but very active in exploring new area and thing.

Sometimes, I do not have enough hands to handle him, so in this I have to be an active

participant to discipline him.

Next characteristic to be a good parent that I want to share is the ability to understand

and share the feelings of another. A good parent knows how to listen, more than talk.

Sometimes, all a child needs is a listening ear, a place to talk things out, and for the parent to

put themselves in the childs shoes, instead of solve problems for him or her. A parent will

have better chance of hearing what their child is really saying if they willing to tune into their


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childs words, tone of voice, and body language. Furthermore, being a good listener is very

important. When parents have time to listen to their children, the communication is open

between parties. To illustrate, my brother failed his science subject in school. My parents did

not judge or scold him; instead they talked to him and listened to his concerns. They found

out that he did not understand his lesson well because of his assigned seat. He was sitting

next to an air conditioner, and it bothered him. Family communication isnt always easy, but

it is a priority if you want to be an effective parent. Actively listen when your child speaks,

looking directly at her and making it clear that what she has to say is important to you. You

can validate her feelings and repeat the important points in your own words to make sure

youre both on the same page. Negotiate with your child, presenting clear choices whenever

possible. Always treat your child with kindness and respect, giving praise and encouragement

when you have the opportunity.

Patience is another characteristic parent must have. Patience defines as the capacity to

accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Having patience has a lot to do with parenting. Although children behaviour gets out of hand

sometimes due to certain issues like mood, parents exert extra mile of patience to comfort

them with love and care. You also must control your temper as much as you can. It is

important to try to be as calm and reasonable as you can when you explain your rules or carry

them out. This is to uncertain your children to take you seriously, not fear you or think of you

as unstable. Clearly, this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting

out or just driving you up the wall, but if your feel yourself getting ready to raise your voice,

take a break and excuse yourself before your finish talking to your children. Sometimes, we

all lose our tempers and feel out of control, it undeniable. You should apologize to your

children, letting them know that you have made a mistake, if you do or say something you

regret. If you act like the bad behaviour is normal, then they will try to mimic it. Therefore,

you should increase level of patience in yourself in order to be a good parent. For example,

my sister when she was in her elementary years, she refused to attend school. My mother was

always late for work, because of my sisters action. She would always try to bribe her with

something so she would go into class. Whether you are male or female, you can nurture your

child. You can demonstrate unconditional love by addressing the behaviour and not the

character of the child when applying correction. Express your forgiveness when the child

shows regret for a misdeed. If you know what behaviours are mistakes or age-appropriate


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exploration, you can make allowances for those behaviours in ways that encourage your child

to grow and learn. Employ positive reinforcement when you set limits and keep your

expectations realistic and appropriate to your childs development and abilities. Your toddler

probably wont sit still for several hours and your teen isnt going to blindly accept

everything you say.

Praising your children is a huge part of being a good parent as well. This is to let your

kids feel proud of their achievements and good about themselves. They would not feel

empowered to be independent or adventurous if you do not give them the confidence they

need to be out in the world on their own. Whenever they do something good or reach new

achievement, let them know that you have noticed and proud of them. You can say buy them

a present, or cook their favourite meals. Try to praise your children at least three times as

much your give them negative feedback. Though it is important to tell your children when

they are doing something wrong, it is also important to help them build a positive sense of

self. If you have babies, who still young to fully understand, praise them with treats,

applause, and lots of love. With this, they will feel precious.

Each child has its own unique identity. To be a good parent, you have to avoid

comparing your children to other, especially among the siblings. Celebrate their differences

and instil in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may

give your child a belief that you are less worthy or important than other people, an

imagination that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them

improve their attitude, talk about meeting their aim on their own way, instead of telling them

to act like their sister, cousins or friends. This will help them develop a sense of self instead

of having a belief that you are less worthy. Comparing one child to another can also make

one child develop a competing with his or her sibling. You have to nurture a lovingrelationship between your children, not a competitive one. If they arguing do not choose

sides, be fair and natural. I believe, some of parents have their favourite child. Please, from

now on, you have to stop this favouritism. I want to share with you about this, my mother

used to have her favourite son, my second brother. She cooks special meals for him every day

and even gives him the best plate compare to us. My mother is so lucky, we never ask or get

jealous about it, however when some relatives see it, and talk about it, she become to realize

slowly. Now her favourite is not staying anymore with her, the not favourite ones take care of

her. When we all grown up now, we sometimes like to recall about how much her put more


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attention on my second brother, she will apologize to us, then we just giggles and love her

even more.

Another major characteristic that a good parent has is being a positive role model. If

you want your child to be in well manner, then you should model the behaviour and character

you hope your children will adopt and continue to live by the rules that you set. A positive

role model shows and presents a healthy lifestyle that involves exercise, nature; art and self-

expression. They are wise in their words and actions. A positive role model are not afraid to

say they made a mistake and they are open to criticism on how they can do things better.

They do not blame others, nor do they show themselves as a victim. They basically present

the concept of cause and effect so the child can learn through its experiences what is

effective, and what is not effective. Since they know they are more than just a mother or a

father, they take time to nurture and care for themselves so they can give from their overflow.

Children have a liking to become what they see and hear unless they make a deliberate and

concerted effort to break the mould. You do not have to be a perfect person, but you should

do your best to do as you want your children to do, so you do not look self-righteous if you

tell your children to be polite to others when they find you getting in a fiery quarrel. It is

perfectly okay to make mistakes, but you should apologize or let your child know that the

behaviour is not good. You can say something like, "Mommy didn't mean to yell at you.

This is better than forgetting that you made a mistake, because that will show the child that he

or she should model this behaviour. Educate kids about chores by setting a schedule and

having them help you out. Do not tell your child to do something, but ask for their help. The

earlier they learn to help you, the longer they will be willing to. If you want your son or

daughter to learn to share, set a good example and share your things with them.

Another characteristic to be a good parent is respect. Respect defines as a feeling of

deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or

achievements. Respect also means due view for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. A

good parent is respectful to their child, even when disciplining. Children first learn respectful

behaviours starting their parents or guardians, so a child who is consistently treated

respectfully by parent is more likely to develop a good self-respect, and a respect for others,

including their parent. Parents should keep in mind that it is possible to be respectful and

flexible at the same time.


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Respect your children privacy as you would want them to respect yours, for example,

if you teach your child that your room is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with

their room. Respect your childrens decision as well is important. Let you children to choose

anything they like, they want or desire. If you go shopping cloth with them for instance, let

them to choose and give relevant opinion if necessary. By this, your children can see you

respect what they really want or choose. I believe some parents, if they have teenagers

studying in college; they like to choose the course on behalf of their children. You should

avoid this behaviour and be respectful to what your teenager chooses for studying. If you

think their choice is wrong or not suitable for them, talk and discuss with them. By

discussing, they will tell you why they choose the course instead of what you expect them to

take. Please respect their choices and this will make your child feels good and respected.

To conclude my speech today, I want to highlight again eight characteristics to be good

parents, which are good moral, active participant in your childrens life, understand their

children, patience, praising, avoid comparing, positive role model, and respect. Good parent

must have good moral values in themselves because children will tend to mimic their traits.

Good parent also must be an active participant in their childrens life and activities. They also

must have ability to understand and share feeling when talking with their children and be

patience in nurturing their children. A good parent also must always praise their children to

make them feel proud and precious. Avoid comparison among children or others as well

important to being a good parent. A good parent must show a positive role model to their

children because children tend to adapt what their parent behaves. Last characteristic to be a

good parent that I mentioned before is respect. Respect is important characteristic in raising

your children to show to them how much you value their opinion and choice.

Finally, let me say that I am heartened to see so many fellow parents here today, as it shows

our interest and intent to be good parents, to do what is really helpful for our children. Your

children is precious gift from god to you, you should teach them and raise them well as

nothing in this world is equally same precious to your children. I hope all of you understand

and try so hard to become a good parent. Thank you.


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What Does It Takes to Be Good Parents