Volue 3 Clarissa

7/31/2019 Volue 3 Clarissa

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/volue-3-clarissa 1/193

CLARISSAHARLOWE

orthe

HISTORYOFAYOUNGLADY

BySamuelRichardson

NineVolumes

VolumeIII.

LETTERSOFVOLUMEIII

LETTERI.MissHowetoClarissa.--Isastonished,confounded,aghast.RepeatsheradvicetomarryLovelace.

LETTERII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Givesaparticularaccountofher

meetingLovelace;ofhervehementcontentionwithhim;and,atlast,ofherbeingterrifiedoutofherpredeterminedresolution,andtrickedaway.Hergriefandcompunctionofheartuponit.Laysalltothefaultofcorrespondingwithhimatfirstagainstpaternalprohibition.Isincensedagainsthimforhisartfuldealingswithher,andforhisselfishlove.

LETTERIII.Mr.LovelacetoJosephLeman.--AletterwhichlaysopenthewholeofhiscontrivancetogetoffClarissa.

LETTERIV.JosephLeman.Inanswer.

LETTERV.LovelacetoBelford.--Inecstasyonthesuccessofhis

contrivances.WellashelovesClarissa,hewouldshowhernomercy,ifhethoughtshepreferredanymanlivingtohim.WillreligiouslyobservetheINJUNCTIONSshelaiduponhimprevioustotheirmeeting.

LETTERVI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--ArecriminatingconversationbetweenherandLovelace.Heremindsherofherinjunctions;and,insteadofbeseechinghertodispensewiththem,promisesasacredregardtothem.Itisnot,therefore,inherpower,shetellsMissHowe,totakeheradviceastospeedymarriage.[Anoteontheplace,justifyingherconduct.]IsattendedbyMrs.Greme,LordM.'shousekeeperatTheLawn,whowaitsonhertohersisterSorlings,withwhomsheconsentstolodge.Hislooksoffendher.Haswrittentohersisterforherclothes.

LETTERVII.LovelacetoBelford.--Givesbrieflytheparticularsofhissuccess.Describesherpersonanddressonherfirstmeetinghim.Extravagantexultation.MakesBelfordquestionhimonthehonourofhisdesignsbyher:andanswersdoubtfully.

LETTERVIII.MissHowetoClarissa.--Hersentimentsonhernarrative.Hermother,attheinstigationofAntonyHarlowe,forbidstheircorrespondence.Mr.Hickman'szealtoservetheminit.Whatherfamilynowpretend,ifshehadnotleftthem.Howtheytookhersupposedprojectedflight.Offershermoneyandclothes.Wouldhaveherseemto



placesomelittleconfidenceinLovelace.Herbrotherandsisterwillnotpermitherfatherandunclestocool.

LETTERIX.X.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Adviseshertoobeyhermother,whoprohibitstheircorrespondence.Declinestoacceptheroffersofmoney:andwhy.Mr.Lovelacenotapoliteman.Shewillbeasreadytoplaceaconfidenceinhim,ashewillbetodeserveit.Yettrickedawaybyhimasshewas,cannotimmediatelytreathimwithgreatcomplaisance.Blamesherforherlivelinesstohermother.Enclosesthecopyofherlettertohersister.

LETTERXI.LovelacetoBelford.--Prideshimselfinhisartsintheconversationsbetweenthem.Isalarmedatthesuperiorityofhertalents.Considersoppositionandresistanceasachallengetodohisworst.HisartfulproceedingswithJosephLeman.

LETTERXII.Fromthesame.--Menneedonlybeknowntoberakes,hesays,torecommendthemselvestothefavourofthesex.WishesMissHowewerenotsowellacquaintedwithClarissa:andwhy.

LETTERXIII.Fromthesame.--IntendstosetoldAntonyatMrs.Howe,topreventthecorrespondencebetweenthetwoyoungladies.Girl,notgold,hispredominantpassion.RalliesBelfordonhispersonandappearance.TakeshumourousnoticeofthetwodaughtersofthewidowSorlings.

LETTERXIV.Fromthesame.--FarthertriumphsovertheHarlowes.Similitudeofthespiderandfly.Isforhavingseparatechurchesaswellasseparateboarding-schoolsforthesexes.Thewomenoughttolovehim,hesays:andwhy.Prideshimselfthattheydo.

LETTERXV.ClarissatoMissHowe.--ParticularsofanangryconferencewithLovelace.Seeinghersincerelydispleased,hebegstheceremonymayimmediatelypass.Heconstruesherbashfulsilenceintoanger,andvowsasacredregardtoherinjunctions.

LETTERXVI.XVII.XVIII.LovelacetoBelford.--Thepleasureofadifficultchace.Triumphsinthedistressandperplexityhegaveherby

hisartfulandparadingofferofmarriage.Hisreasonsforandagainstdoingherjustice.Resolvestotryhertotheutmost.Thehonourofthewholesexconcernedintheissueofhertrial.Matrimony,hesees,isinhispower,nowsheis.

LETTERXIX.MissHowetoClarissa.--Willnotobeyhermotherinherprohibitionoftheircorrespondence:andwhy.Ischarmedwithherspirit.

LETTERXX.ClarissatoMissHowe.--KnowsnotwhatshecandowithLovelace.Hemaythankhimselfforthetroublehehashadonheraccount.Didsheever,sheasks,makehimanypromises?Didsheeverreceivehimasalover?

LETTERXXI.XXII.Fromthesame.--ShecallsuponLovelacetogiveherafaithfulaccountofthenoiseandvoicessheheardatthegarden-door,whichfrightenedherawaywithhim.Hisconfession,anddaringhintsinrelationtoSolmes,andherbrother,andBettyBarnes.Sheisterrified.

LETTERXXIII.LovelacetoBelford.--RejoicesinthestupidityoftheHarlowes.Exultsinhiscapacityformischief.Thecondescensionstowhichheintendstobringthelady.Libertineobservationstothedisadvantageofwomen;whichmayserveascautionstothesex.



LETTERXXIV.ClarissatoMissHowe.--AconversationwithMr.Lovelacewhollyagreeable.Hispromisesofreformation.Sheremembers,tohisadvantage,hisgenerositytohisRosebudandhistenants.WritestoherauntHervey.

LETTERXXV.XXVI.LovelacetoBelford.--Hisacknowledgedvanity.Accountsforhisplausiblebehaviour,andspeciouspromisesandproposals.ApprehensiveofthecorrespondencebetweenMissHoweandClarissa.Lovestoplaguehimwithout-of-the-waywordsandphrases.

LETTERXXVII.MissHowetoClarissa.--HowtojudgeofLovelace'ssuspiciousproposalsandpromises.Hickmandevotedtotheirservice.Yetshetreatshimwithridicule.

LETTERXXVIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Lovelacecomplains,shehears,toMrs.Greme,ofheradheringtoherinjunctions.Whatmeanshebyit,sheasks,yetforegosuchopportunitiesashehad?Sheispunishedforhervanityinhopingtobeanexample.BlamesMissHoweforherbehaviourtoHickman.

LETTERXXIX.Fromthesame.--WarmdialogueswithLovelace.Sheisdispleasedwithhimforhisaffectedly-bashfulhintsofmatrimony.Mutualrecriminations.Helooksuponherashis,shesays,byastrange

sortofobligation,forhavingrunawaywithheragainstherwill.Yetbuttouchesontheedgesofmatrimonyneither.Sheissickofherself.

LETTERXXX.Fromthesame.--Mr.LovelaceaperfectProteus.Henowapplaudsherforthattreatmentofhimwhichbeforehehadresented;andcommunicatestohertwoletters,onefromLadyBettyLawrance,theotherfromMissMontague.Shewondershedidnotproducethoselettersbefore,ashemustknowtheywouldbehighlyacceptabletoher.

LETTERXXXI.XXXII.XXXIII.XXXIV.Fromthesame.--ThecontentsofthelettersfromLadyBettyandMissMontagueputClarissaingoodhumourwithMr.Lovelace.Hehintsatmarriage;butpretendstobeafraidofpursuingthehint.Sheisearnestwithhimtoleaveher:andwhy.

Heapplaudsherreasonings.Herseriousquestions,andhisludicrousanswer.--Hemakesdifferentproposals.--HeofferstobringMrs.Nortontoher.Sheisreadytoblameherselfforherdoubtsofhim:butgivesreasonsforhercaution.--HewritesbyherconsenttohisfriendDoleman,toprocurelodgingsforherintown.

LETTERXXXV.LovelacetoBelford.--Gloriesinhiscontrivances.GivesanadvantageousdescriptionofClarissa'sbehaviour.ExultsonhermentioningLondon.Nonebutimpudentgirls,hesays,shouldrunawaywithaman.Hisfartherviews,plots,anddesigns.

LETTERXXXVI.MissHowetoClarissa.--HumourouslytouchesonherreproofsinrelationtoHickman.Observationsonsmoothlove.Lord

M.'sfamilygreatlyadmireher.ApprovesofherspiritedtreatmentofLovelace,andofhergoingtoLondon.Hintsatthenarrownessofherownmother.AdviseshertokeepfairwithLovelace.

LETTERXXXVII.XXXVIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Wondersnotthatherbrotherhasweighttomakeherfatherirreconcilable.--CopyofMr.Doleman'sansweraboutLondonlodgings.Hercautioninherchoiceofthem.LovelacehasgivenherfiveguineasforHannah.Otherinstancesofhisconsiderateness.Notdispleasedwithherpresentprospects.



LETTERXXXIX.LovelacetoBelford.--ExplainswhatismeantbyDoleman'sansweraboutthelodgings.MakesBelfordobjecttohisscheme,thathemayanswertheobjections.Exults.Swells.Despiseseverybody.Importanceoftheminutiae.Moreofhisarts,views,andcontrivances.

LETTERXL.MissHowetoClarissa.--AcquaintsherwithaschemeformedbyherbrotherandcaptainSingleton,tocarryheroff.Hickman'ssilentcharities.Shedespisesallhissex,aswellashim.Illtermsonwhichherownfatherandmotherlived.ExtolsClarissaforherdomesticgoodqualities.Particularsofagreatcontestwithhermother,ontheircorrespondence.Hasbeenslaptbyher.Observationsonmanagingwives.

LETTERXLI.XLII.XLIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Astrongremonstranceonherbehaviourtohermother;inwhichshelaysdownthedutyofchildren.AccusesherofwantofgenerositytoHickman.Fartherexcusesherselfondecliningtoacceptofhermoneyoffers.ProposesaconditiononwhichMrs.Howemayseealltheywrite.

LETTERXLIV.MissHowetoClarissa.--Hermotherrejectstheproposedcondition.MissHowetakesthankfullyherreprehensions:butwillcontinuethecorrespondence.Someexcusesforherself.Humourousstoryofgame-chickens.

LETTERXLV.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Lovelacecommunicatesherbrother's

andSingleton'sproject;buttreatsitwithseemingcontempt.Sheaskshisadvicewhattodouponit.Thisbringsonanofferofmarriagefromhim.Howitwentoff.

LETTERXLVI.LovelacetoBelford.--Heconfesseshisartfulintentionsintheofferofmarriage:yethadlike,hesays,tohavebeencaughtinhisownsnares.

LETTERXLVII.JosephLemantoMr.Lovelace.--WithintelligenceofadesignformedagainsthimbytheHarlowes.Joseph'svilehypocrisyandselfishness.

LETTERXLVIII.Lovelace.Inanswer.--StoryofMissBetterton.Boastof

histreatmentofhismistresses.TheartfulusehemakesofJoseph'sintelligence.

LETTERXLIX.ClarissatoherauntHervey.--Complainsofhersilence.HintsathernothavingdesignedtogoawaywithLovelace.Shewillopenherwholehearttoher,ifsheencouragehertodoso,bythehopesofareconciliation.

LETTERL.MissHowetoClarissa.--ObservationsonLovelace'smeanness,pride,andrevenge.Politenessnottobeexpectedfromhim.SheravesathimfortheartfulmannerinwhichheurgesClarissatomarryhim.Advisesherhowtoactinherpresentsituation.

LETTERLI.BelfordtoLovelace.--Becomesawarmadvocateforthelady.Givesmanyinstructivereasonstoenforcehisargumentsinherfavour.

LETTERLII.Mrs.HerveytoClarissa.--Asevereandcruelletterinanswertoher's,LetterXLIX.Itwasnotdesigned,shesays,absolutelytoforcehertomarrytoherdislike.

LETTERLIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Herdeepregretonthisintelligence,forhavingmetLovelace.Thefinersensibilitiesmakenothappy.Herfatetoovisiblyinherpower.Heisunpolite,cruel,



insolent,unwise,atriflerinhisownhappiness.Herreasonswhyshelesslikeshimthanever.Hersoulhissoul'ssuperior.Herfortitude.Herprayer.

LETTERLIV.LV.Fromthesame.--Nowindeedisherheartbroken,shesays.Asolemncurselaiduponherbyherfather.Hersister'sbarbarouslettersontheoccasion.

LETTERLVI.MissHowetoClarissa.--Aletterfullofgenerousconsolationandadvice.Herfriendlyvow.SendsherfiftyguineasintheleavesofaNorris'smiscellanies.

LETTERLVII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Afaithfulfriendthemedicineoflife.SheisjustsettingoutforLondon.Lovelacehasofferedmarriagetoherinsounreservedamanner,thatshewishesshehadneverwrittenwithdiffidenceofhim.Issorryitwasnotinherpowertocomplywithhisearnestsolicitations.ReturnsherNorris:andwhy.

LETTERLVIII.LIX.MissHowetoClarissa.--SorryshehasreturnedherNorris.WishesshehadacceptedofLovelace'sunreservedofferofmarriage.BelievesherselftohaveasneakingkindnessforHickman:andwhy.SheblamesMrs.Harlowe:andwhy.

InanswertoLetterVIII.Clarissastatesthedifferenceinthe

charactersofMr.LovelaceandMr.Hickman;andtellsher,thathermotivesforsuspendingmarriagewerenotmerelyceremoniousones.RegretsMrs.Howe'sforbiddingthecorrespondencebetweenthem.Herdutifulapologyforherownmother.Lessontochildren.

LETTERLX.LovelacetoBelford.--Thinksheshallbeinevitablymanacledatlast.Thelady'sextremeillness.Herfilialpietygivesherdreadfulfaithinafather'scurses.SheletsnotMissHoweknowhowveryillshewas.Hisvowsofmarriagebringherbacktolife.Absolutelyinearnestinthosevows.[Theonlytimehewasso.]Hecannowtalkofloveandmarriagewithoutcheck.DescantsuponBelford'sletter,No.LI.

LETTERLXI.Fromthesame.--IssettingoutforLondon.Astrugglewith

hisheart.Ownsittobeavillainofaheart.Afitofstrong,buttransitoryremorse.Ifhedomarry,hedoubtsheshallhaveavapourishwife.Thinksitwouldbebetterforbothnottomarry.Hislibertinereasons.Lessonstothesex.

LETTERLXII.Fromthesame.--TheyarriveatMrs.Sinclair's.SallyMartinandPollyHortonsetuponhim.Hewaversinhisgoodpurposes.DorcasWykesproposed,andreluctantlyacceptedforaservant,tillHannahcancome.Dorcas'scharacter.Hehastwogreatpointstocarry.Whattheyare.

THEHISTORYOFCLARISSAHARLOWE

LETTERI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETUESDAY,NINEO'CLOCK.



Iwrite,becauseyouenjoinmetodoso.Loveyoustill!--HowcanIhelpit,ifIwould?YoumaybelievehowIstandaghast,yourlettercommunicatingthefirstnews--GoodGodofHeavenandEarth!--ButwhatshallIsay?--Iamallimpatientforparticulars.

Lordhavemercyuponme!--Butcanitbe?

Mymotherwillindeedbeastonished!--HowcanItellither!--Itwasbutlastnight(uponsomejealousiesputintoherheadbyyourfoolishuncle)thatIassuredher,andthisuponthestrengthofyourownassurances,thatneithermannordevilwouldbeabletoinduceyoutotakeastepthatwasintheleastderogatorytothemostpunctilioushonour.

But,oncemore,canitbe?Whatwomanatthisrate!--But,Godpreserveyou!

Letnothingescapeyouinyourletters.Directthemforme,however,toMrs.Knolly's,tillfurthernotice.

*****

Observe,mydear,thatIdon'tblameyoubyallthis--Yourrelationsonlyareinfault!--Yethowyoucametochangeyourmindisthesurprisingthing.

Howtobreakittomymother,Iknownot.Yetifshehearitfirstfromanyother,andfindIknewitbefore,shewillbelieveittobemyconnivance!--Yet,asIhopetolive,Iknownothowtobreakittoher.

Butthisisteasingyou.--Iamsure,withoutintention.

Letmenowrepeatmyformeradvice--Ifyouarenotmarriedbythistime,

besuredelaynottheceremony.Sincethingsareastheyare,Iwishitwerethoughtthatyouwereprivatelymarriedbeforeyouwentaway.IfthesemenpleadAUTHORITYtoourpain,whenwearetheirs--Whyshouldwenot,insuchacaseasthis,makesomegoodoutofthehatedword,forourreputation,whenweareinducedtoviolateamorenaturalone?

Yourbrotherandsister[thatvexesmealmostasmuchasanything!]havenowtheirends.Now,Isuppose,willgoforwardalterationsofwills,andsuch-likespitefuldoings.

*****

MissLloydandMissBiddulphthismomentsenduptheirnames.Theyareoutofbreath,Kittysays,tospeaktome--easytoguesstheirerrand;--Imustseemymother,beforeIseethem.Ihavenowaybuttoshewheryourlettertoclearmyself.Ishallnotbeabletosayaword,tillshehasrunherselfoutofherfirstbreath.--Forgiveme,mydear--surprisemakesmewritethus.Ifyourmessengerdidnotwait,andwerenotthoseyoungladiesbelow,Icouldwriteitoveragain,forfearofafflictingyou.



Isendwhatyouwritefor.Iftherebeanythingelseyouwantthatisinmypower,commandwithoutreserve

YoureveraffectionateANNAHOWE.

LETTERII.

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE.TUESDAYNIGHT.

Ithinkmyselfobligedtothankyou,mydearMissHowe,foryourcondescension,intakingnoticeofacreaturewhohasoccasionedyousomuchscandal.

Iamgrievedonthisaccount,asmuch,Iverilythink,asfortheevilitself.

Tellme--butyetIamafraidtoknow--whatyourmothersaid.

Ilong,andyetIdread,tobetold,whattheyoungladiesmycompanions,nownevermoreperhapstobeso,sayofme.

Theycannot,however,sayworseofmethanIwillofmyself.SelfaccusationshallflowineverylineofmynarrativewhereIthinkIamjustlycensurable.IfanythingcanarisefromtheaccountIamgoingtogiveyou,forextenuationofmyfault(forthatisallapersoncanhopefor,whocannotexcuseherself)IknowImayexpectitfromyourfriendship,thoughnotfromthecharityofanyother:sincebythistimeIdoubtnoteverymouthisopenedagainstme;andallthatknowClarissaHarlowecondemnthefugitivedaughter.

AfterIhaddepositedmylettertoyou,writtendowntothelasthour,asImaysay,Ireturnedtotheivysummer-house;firsttakingbackmyletterfromtheloosebricks:andthereIendeavoured,ascoollyasmy

situationwouldpermit,torecollectandlaytogetherseveralincidentsthathadpassedbetweenmyauntandme;and,comparingthemwithsomeofthecontentsofmycousinDolly'sletter,Ibegantohope,thatIneedednottobesoveryapprehensiveasIhavebeennextWednesday.AndthusIarguedwithmyself.

'Wednesdaycannotpossiblybethedaytheyintend,althoughtointimidatemetheymaywishmetothinkitis:forthesettlementsareunsigned:norhavetheybeenofferedmetosign.IcanchoosewhetherIwillorwillnotputmyhandtothem;hardasitwillbetorefuseifmyfatherandmotherpropose,ifImadecompulsionnecessary,togotomyuncle'sthemselvesinordertobeoutofthewayofmyappeals?WhereastheyintendtobepresentonWednesday.And,howeveraffectingtomethe

thoughtofmeetingthemandallmyfriendsinfullassemblyis,perhapsitistheverythingIoughttowishfor:sincemybrotherandsisterhadsuchanopinionofmyinterestinthem,thattheygotmeexcludedfromtheirpresence,asameasurewhichtheythoughtpreviouslynecessarytocarryontheirdesigns.

'NorhaveIreasontodoubt,butthat(asIhadbeforearguedwithmyself)Ishallbeabletobringoversomeofmyrelationstomyparty;and,beingbroughtfacetofacewithmybrother,thatIshallexposehismalevolence,andofconsequenceweakenhispower.



'Thensupposingtheveryworst,challengingtheministerasIshallchallengehim,hewillnotpresumetoproceed:norsurelywillMr.Solmesdaretoacceptmyrefusingandstrugglinghand.Andfinally,ifnothingelsewilldo,norprocuremedelay,Icanpleadscruplesofconscience,andevenpretendpriorobligation;for,mydear,IhavegiveMr.Lovelaceroomtohope(asyouwillseeinoneofmylettersinyourhands)thatIwillbenootherman'swhileheissingle,andgivesmenotwilfulandpremeditatedcauseofoffenceagainsthim;andthisinordertorein-inhisresentmentonthedeclaredanimosityofmybrotherandunclestohim.AndasIshallappeal,orrefermyscruplesonthishead,tothegoodDr.Lewen,itisimpossiblebutthatmymotherandaunt(ifnobodyelse)mustbeaffectedwiththisplea.'

Revolvingcursorilythesethings,Icongratulatedmyself,thatIhadresolvedagainstgoingawaywithMr.Lovelace.

Itoldyou,mydear,thatIwouldnotsparemyself:andIenumeratetheseparticularsassomanyargumentstocondemntheactionsIhavebeensounhappilybetrayedinto.Anargumentthatconcludesagainstmewiththegreaterforce,asImustacknowledge,thatIwasapprehensive,thatwhatmycousinDollymentionsasfromBetty,andfrommysisterwhotoldher,thatsheshouldtellme,inordertomakemedesperate,andperhapstopushmeuponsomesuchstepasIhavebeendriventotake,as

themosteffectualmeanstoruinmewithmyfatheranduncles.

Godforgiveme,ifIjudgetooharshlyoftheirviews!--ButifIdonot,itfollows,thattheylaidawickedsnareforme;andthatIhavebeencaughtinit.--Andnowtheytriumph,iftheycantriumph,intheruinofasister,whoneverwishedorintendedtohurtthem!

AstheabovekindofreasoninghadlessenedmyapprehensionsastotheWednesday,itaddedtothoseIhadofmeetingMr.Lovelace--now,asitseemed,notonlythenearest,buttheheaviestevil;principallyindeedbecausenearest;forlittledidIdream(foolishcreaturethatIwas,andeverywaybeset!)oftheeventprovingwhatithasproved.Iexpectedacontentionwithhim,'tistrue,ashehadnotmyletter:but

Ithoughtitwouldbeverystrange,asImentionedinoneofmyformer,*ifI,whohadsosteadilyheldoutagainstcharacterssovenerable,againstauthoritiessosacred,asImaysay,whenIthoughtthemunreasonablyexerted,shouldnotfindmyselfmoreequaltosuchatrialasthis;especiallyasIhadsomuchreasontobedispleasedwithhimfornothavingtakenawaymyletter.

Onwhatapointoftimemayone'sworldlyhappinessdepend!HadIbuttwohoursmoretoconsiderofthematter,andtoattendtoandimproveuponthesenewlights,asImaycallthem--buteventhen,perhaps,Imighthavegivenhimameeting.--FoolthatIwas!whathadItodotogivehimhopethatIwouldpersonallyacquainthimwiththereasonformychangeofmind,ifIdidchangeit?

Omydear!anobligingtemperisaverydangeroustemper!--Byendeavouringtogratifyothers,itisevermoredisobligingitself!

Whenthebellrangtocalltheservantstodinner,Bettycametomeandasked,ifIhadanycommandsbeforeshewenttohers;repeatingherhint,thatsheshouldbeemployed;adding,thatshebelieveditwasexpectedthatIshouldnotcomeuptillshecamedown,ortillIsawmyauntorMissHervey.



Iaskedhersomequestionsaboutthecascade,whichhadbeenoutoforder,andlatelymended;andexpressedacuriositytoseehowitplayed,inordertoinduceher[howcunningtocheatmyself,asitproved!]togothither,ifshefoundmenotwheresheleftme;itbeingapartofthegardenmostdistantfromtheivysummer-house.

ShecouldhardlyhavegotintothehousewhenIheardthefirstsignal--Ohowmyheartfluttered!--butnotimewastobelost.Istepttothegarden-door;andseeingaclearcoast,unboltedthealready-unlockeddoor--andtherewashe,allimpatience,waitingforme.

ApanicnexttofaintingseizedmewhenIsawhim.Myheartseemedconvulsed;andItrembledso,thatIshouldhardlyhavekeptmyfeet,hadhenotsupportedme.

Fearnothing,dearestcreature,saidhe--letushastenaway--thechariotisathand--and,bythissweetcondescension,youhaveobligedmebeyondexpressionorreturn.

Recoveringmyspiritsalittle,ashekeptdrawingmeafterhim,OMr.Lovelace,saidI,Icannotgowithyou--indeedIcannot--Iwroteyouwordso--letgomyhand,andyoushallseemyletter.Itislaintherefromyesterdaymorning,tillwithinthishalf-hour.Ibidyouwatchtothelastforaletterfromme,lestIshouldbeobligedtorevokethe

appointment;and,hadyoufollowedthedirection,youwouldhavefoundit.

Ihavebeenwatched,mydearestlife,saidhe,halfoutofbreath--IhavebeenwatchedineverystepItook:andmytrustyservanthasbeenwatchedtoo,eversinceSaturday;anddarednottocomenearyourwall.Andhereweshallbediscoveredinamoment.--Speedaway,mycharmer--thisisthemomentofyourdeliverance--ifyouneglectthisopportunity,youcanneverhavesuchanother.

Whatisityoumean,Sir?--Letgomyhand:forItellyou[strugglingvehemently]thatIwillsoonerdiethangowithyou.

GoodGod!saidhe,withalookofwildnessandsurprise,whatisitIhear?--But[stilldrawingmeafterhim,asheretreatedfartherfromthedoor]itisnotimetoargue--byallthat'sgoodyoumustgo--surelyyoucannotdoubtmyhonour,norgivemecausetoquestionyourown.

Asyouvalueme,Mr.Lovelace,urgemenofarther.Icomefixedandresolved.LetmegiveyoutheletterIhavewritten.Myfurtherreasonsshallfollow;andtheywillconvinceyouthatIoughtnottogo.

Nothing,Madam,canconvinceme--byallthat'ssacred,Iwillnotleaveyou.Toleaveyounow,wouldbetoloseyouforever--

AmItobethuscompelled?interruptedI,withequalindignationand

vehemence.--Letgomyhands--Iamresolvednottogowithyou--andIwillconvinceyouthatIoughtnot.

Allmyfriendsexpectyou,Madam--allyourownaredeterminedagainstyou--Wednesdaynextistheday,theimportant,perhapsthefatalday!WouldyoustaytobeSolmes'swife?--Canthisbeyourdeterminationatlast?

No,never,neverwillIbethatman's--ButIwillnotgowithyou![drawmenotthus--Howdareyou,Sir?Iwouldnothaveseenyou,buttotell



youso].Ihadnotmetyou,butforfearyouwouldhavebeenguiltyofsomerashness--and,oncemore,Iwillnotgo--Whatmeanyou?--strivingwithallmyforcetogetfromhim.

Whatcanhavepossessedmyangel,saidhe[quittingmyhands,andwithagentlervoice]thataftersomuchill-usagefromyourrelations;vowssosolemnonmypart;anaffectionsoardent;youstabmewitharefusaltostandbyyourownappointment?

Wehavenotimetotalk,Mr.Lovelace.Iwillgiveyoumyreasonsatabetteropportunity.Icannotgowithyounow--andoncemoreurgemenofarther--surely,Iamnottobecompelledbyeverybody!

Iseehowitis,saidhe,withadejectedbutpassionateair--Whataseverefateismine!--Atlengthyourspiritissubdued!--Yourbrotherandsisterhaveprevailed;andImustgiveupallmyhopestoawretchsotrulydespicable--

OncemoreItellyou,interruptedI,Ineverwillbehis--allmayendonWednesdaydifferentlyfromwhatyouexpect--

Anditmaynot!--Andthen,goodheavens!

Itistobetheirlasteffort,asIhavereasontobelieve--

AndIhavereasontobelievesotoo--sinceifyoustay,youwillinevitablybeSolmes'swife.

Notso,interruptedI--Ihaveobligedtheminonepoint.Theywillbeingood-humourwithme.Ishallgaintimeatleast.IamsureIshall.Ihaveseveralwaystogaintime.

Andwhat,Madam,willgainingtimedo?Itisplainyouhavenotahopebeyondthat--itisplainyouhavenot,byputtingalluponthatprecariousissue.Omydearest,dearestlife,letmebeseechyounottorunarisqueofthisconsequence.Icanconvinceyouthatitwillbemorethanarisqueifyougoback,thatyouwillonWednesdaynextbe

Solmes'swife.--Prevent,therefore,nowthatitisinyourpowertoprevent,thefatalmischiefthatwillfollowsuchadreadfulcertainty.

WhileIhaveanyroomforhope,itconcernsyourhonour,Mr.Lovelace,aswellasmine,(ifyouhavethevalueformeyoupretend,andwishmetobelieveyou,)thatmyconductinthisgreatpointshouldjustifymyprudence.

Yourprudence,Madam!Whenhasthatbeenquestionable?Yetwhatsteadhaseitheryourprudenceoryourdutystoodyouin,withpeoplesostrangelydetermined?

Andthenhepatheticallyenumeratedthedifferentinstancesoftheharsh

treatmentIhadmetwith;imputingalltothemaliceandcapriceofabrother,whoseteverybodyagainsthim:andinsisting,thatIhadnootherwaytobringaboutareconciliationwithmyfatheranduncles,thanbyputtingmyselfoutofthepowerofmybrother'sinveteratemalice.

Yourbrother'swholereliance,proceededhe,hasbeenuponyoureasinesstobearhisinsults.Yourwholefamilywillseektoyou,whenyouhavefreedyourselffromthisdisgracefuloppression.Whentheyknowyouarewiththosewhocanandwillrightyou,theywillgiveuptoyouyourown



estate.Whythen,puttinghisarmsaroundme,andagaindrawingmewithagentleforceafterhim,doyouhesitateamoment?--Nowisthetime--Flywithme,then,Ibeseechyou,mydearestcreature!Trustyourpersecutedadorer.Havewenotsufferedinthesamecause?Ifanyimputationsarecastuponyou,givemethehonour(asIshallbefoundtodeserveit)tocallyoumine;and,whenyouareso,shallInotbeabletoprotectbothyourpersonandcharacter?

Urgemenomore,Mr.Lovelace,Iconjureyou.Youyourselfhavegivenmeahint,whichIwillspeakplainerto,thanprudence,perhaps,onanyotheroccasion,wouldallow.Iamconvinced,thatWednesdaynext(ifIhadtimeIwouldgiveyoumyreasons)isnotintendedtobethedaywehadbothsomuchdreaded:andifafterthatdayshallbeover,IfindmyfriendsdeterminedinMr.Solmes'sfavour,IwillthencontrivesomewaytomeetyouwithMissHowe,whoisnotyourenemy:andwhenthesolemnityhaspassed,Ishallthinkthatstepaduty,whichtillthenwillbecriminaltotake:sincenowmyfather'sauthorityisunimpeachedbyanygreater.

DearestMadam--

Nay,Mr.Lovelace,ifyounowdispute--if,afterthismorefavourabledeclaration,thanIhadthethoughtofmaking,youarenotsatisfied,Ishallknowwhattothinkbothofyourgratitudeandgenerosity.

Thecase,Madam,admitsnotofthisalternative.Iamallgratitudeuponit.IcannotexpresshowmuchIshouldbedelightedwiththecharminghopeyouhavegivenme,wereyounotnextWednesday,ifyoustay,tobeanotherman's.Think,dearestcreature!whatanheighteningofmyanguishthedistanthopeyoubidmelookuptois,takeninthislight!

Depend,dependuponit,IwilldiesoonerthanbeMr.Solmes's.Ifyouwouldhavemerelyuponyourhonour,whyshouldyoudoubtofmine?

Idoubtnotyourhonour,Madam;yourpowerisallIdoubt.Younever,nevercanhavesuchanotheropportunity.--Dearestcreature,permitme--andhewasagaindrawingmeafterhim.

Whither,Sir,doyoudrawme?--Leavemethismoment--Doyouseektokeepmetillmyreturnshallgrowdangerousorimpracticable?Thismomentletmego,ifyouwouldhavemethinktolerablyofyou.

Myhappiness,Madam,bothhereandhereafter,andthesafetyofallyourimplacablefamily,dependuponthismoment.

ToProvidence,Mr.Lovelace,andtothelaw,willIleavethesafetyofmyfriends.Youshallnotthreatenmeintoarashnessthatmyheartcondemns!--ShallI,topromoteyourhappiness,asyoucallit,dependuponfuturepeaceofmind?

Youtriflewithme,mydearlife,justasourbetterprospectsbegintoopen.Thewayisclear;justnowitisclear;butyoumaybepreventedinamoment.Whatisityoudoubt?--MayIperisheternally,ifyourwillshallnotbealawtomeineverything!Allmyrelationsexpectyou.--NextWednesday!--Dearestcreature!thinkofnextWednesday!--AndtowhatisitIurgeyou,buttotakeastepthatsoonerthananyotherwillreconcileyoutoallwhomyouhavemostreasontovalueinyourfamily?

Letmyjudgeformyself,Sir.Donotyou,whoblamemyfriendsfor



endeavouringtocompelme,yourselfseektocompel.Iwon'tbearit.Yourearnestnessgivesmegreaterapprehensions,andgreaterreluctance.Letmegoback,then--letme,beforeitistoolate,goback,thatitmaynotbeworseforboth--Whatmeanyoubythisforcibletreatment?IsitthusthatIamtojudgeoftheentiresubmissiontomywillwhichyouhavesooftenvowed?--Unhandmethismoment,orIwillcryoutforhelp.

Iwillobeyyou,mydearestcreature!--Andquittedmyhandwithalookfulloftenderdespondency,that,knowingtheviolenceofhistemper,half-concernedmeforhim.YetIwashasteningfromhim,when,withasolemnair,lookinguponhissword,butcatching,asitwere,hishandfromit,hefoldedbothhisarms,asifasuddenthoughthadrecoveredhimfromanintendedrashness.

Stay,onemoment--butonemomentstay,Obestbelovedofmysoul!--Yourretreatissecure,ifyouwillgo:thekeyliesatthedoor.--But,OMadam,nextWednesday,andyouareMr.Solmes's!--Flymenotsoeagerly--hearmebutafewwords.

Whennearthegarden-door,Istopped;andwasthemoresatisfied,asIsawthekeythere,bywhichIcouldletmyselfinagainatpleasure.But,beinguneasylestIshouldbemissed,Itoldhim,Icouldstaynolonger.Ihadalreadystaidtoolong.Iwouldwritetohimallmyreasons.Anddependuponit,Mr.Lovelace,saidI[justuponthepoint

ofstoopingforthekey,inordertoreturn]Iwilldie,ratherthanhavethatman.YouknowwhatIhavepromised,ifIfindmyselfindanger.

Oneword,Madam,however;onewordmore[approachingme,hisarmsstillfolded,asif,Ithought,hewouldnotbetemptedtomischief].Rememberonly,thatIcomeatyourappointment,toredeemyou,atthehazardofmylife,fromyourgaolersandpersecutors,witharesolution,Godismywitness,ormayheforeverblastme![thatwashisshockingimprecation]tobeafather,uncle,brother,and,asIhumblyhoped,inyourowngoodtime,ahusbandtoyou,allinone.ButsinceIfindyouaresoreadytocryoutforhelpagainstme,whichmustbringdownuponmethevengeanceofallyourfamily,Iamcontentedtorunallrisques.

Iwillnotaskyoutoretreatwithme;Iwillattendyouintothegarden,andintothehouse,ifIamnotintercepted.

Nay,benotsurprised,Madam.Thehelpyouwouldhavecalledfor,Iwillattendyouto;forIwillfacethemall:butnotasarevenger,iftheyprovokemenottoomuch.YoushallseewhatIcanfurtherbearforyoursake--andletusbothsee,ifexpostulation,andthebehaviourofagentlemantothem,willnotprocuremethetreatmentduetoagentlemanfromthem.

Hadheofferedtodrawhissworduponhimself,Iwaspreparedtohavedespisedhimforsupposingmesuchapoornovice,astobeintimidatedbyanartificesocommon.Butthisresolution,utteredwithsoserious

anair,ofaccompanyingmeintomyfriends,mademegaspwithterror.

Whatmeanyou,Mr.Lovelace?saidI:Ibeseechyouleaveme--leaveme,Sir,Ibeseechyou.

Excuseme,Madam!Ibegyoutoexcuseme.Ihavelongenoughskulkedlikeathiefabouttheselonelywalls--long,toolong,haveIbornetheinsultsofyourbrother,andotherofyourrelations.Absencebutheightensmalice.Iamdesperate.Ihavebutthisonechanceforit;forisnotthedayafterto-morrowWednesday?Ihaveencouragedvirulence



bymytameness.--YettameIwillstillbe.Youshallsee,Madam,whatIwillbearforyoursake.Myswordshallbeputsheathedintoyourhands[andheofferedittomeinthescabbard].--Myheart,ifyouplease,clappingonehanduponhisbreast,shallaffordasheathforyourbrother'ssword.Lifeisnothing,ifIloseyou--bepleased,Madam,toshewmethewayintothegarden[movingtowardthedoor].Iwillattendyou,thoughtomyfate!--Buttoohappy,beitwhatitwill,ifIreceiveitinyourpresence.Leadon,dearcreature![puttinghisswordintohisbelt]--YoushallseewhatIcanbearforyou.Andhestoopedandtookupthekey;andofferedittothelock;butdroppeditagain,withoutopeningthedoor,uponmyearnestexpostulations.

Whatcanyoumean,Mr.Lovelace?--saidI--Wouldyouthusexposeyourself?Wouldyouthusexposeme?--Isthisyourgenerosity?Iseverybodytotakeadvantagethusoftheweaknessofmytemper?

AndIwept.Icouldnothelpit.

Hethrewhimselfuponhiskneesatmyfeet--Whocanbear,saidhe,[withanardourthatcouldnotbefeigned,hisowneyesglistening,]whocanbeartobeholdsuchsweetemotion?--Ocharmerofmyheart,[and,respectfullystillkneeling,hetookmyhandwithbothhis,pressingittohislips,]commandmewithyou,commandmefromyou;ineverywayIamimplicittoobedience--butIappealtoallyouknowofyour

relations'crueltytoyou,theirdeterminedmaliceagainstme,andasdeterminedfavourtothemanyoutellmeyouhate,(and,OMadam,ifyoudidnothatehim,Ishouldhardlythinktherewouldbeameritinyourapprobation,placeitwhereyouwould)--Iappealtoeverythingyouknow,toallyouhavesuffered,whetheryouhavenotreasontobeapprehensiveofthatWednesday,whichismyterror!--whetheryoucanpossiblyhaveanotheropportunity--thechariotready:myfriendswithimpatienceexpectingtheresultofyourownappointment:amanwhosewillshallbeentirelyyourwill,imploringyou,thus,onhisknees,imploringyou--tobeyourownmistress;thatisall:norwillIaskforyourfavour,butasuponfullproofIshallappeartodeserveit.Fortune,alliance,unobjectionable!--Omybelovedcreature!pressingmyhandoncemoretohislips,letnotsuchanopportunityslip.Younever,

neverwillhavesuchanother.

Ibidhimrise.Hearose;andItoldhim,thatwereInotthusunaccountablyhurriedbyhisimpatience,Idoubtednottoconvincehim,thatbothheandIhadlookeduponnextWednesdaywithgreaterapprehensionthanwasnecessary.Iwasproceedingtogivehimmyreasons;buthebrokeinuponme--

HadI,Madam,buttheshadowofaprobabilitytohopewhatyouhope,Iwouldbeallobedienceandresignation.Butthelicenseisactuallygot:theparsonisprovided:thepedantBrandistheman.Omydearestcreature,dothesepreparationsmeanonlyatrial?

Youknownot,Sir,weretheworsttobeintended,andweakasyouthinkme,whataspiritIhave:youknownotwhatIcando,andhowIcanresistwhenIthinkmyselfmeanlyorunreasonablydealtwith:nordoyouknowwhatIhavealreadysuffered,whatIhavealreadyborne,knowingtowhoseunbrotherlyinstigationsallistobeascribed--

Imayexpectallthings,Madam,interruptedhe,fromthenoblenessofyourmind.Butyourspiritsmayfailyou.Whatmaynotbeapprehendedfromtheinvincibletemperofafathersopositive,toadaughtersodutiful?--Faintingwillnotsaveyou:theywillnot,perhaps,besorry



forsuchaneffectoftheirbarbarity.Whatwillsignifyexpostulationsagainstaceremonyperformed?Mustnotall,thedreadfulallfollow,thatistorturetomyheartbuttothinkof?Nobodytoappealto,ofwhatavailwillyourresistancebeagainsttheconsequencesofaritewitnessedtobytheimposersofit,andthoseyournearestrelations?

Iwassure,Isaid,ofprocuringadelayatleast.ManywaysIhadtoprocureadelay.Nothingcouldbesofataltousboth,asformenowtobefoundwithhim.Myapprehensionsonthisscore,Itoldhim,grewtoostrongformyheart.Ishouldthinkveryhardlyofhim,ifhesoughttodetainmelonger.Buthisacquiescenceshouldengagemygratitude.

Andthenstoopingtotakeupthekeytoletmyselfintothegarden,hestarted,andlookedasifhehadheardsomebodynearthedoor,ontheinside;clappinghishandonhissword.

Thisfrightedmeso,thatIthoughtIshouldhavesunkdownathisfeet.Butheinstantlyre-assuredme:Hethought,hesaid,hehadheardarustlingagainstthedoor:buthaditbeenso,thenoisewouldhavebeenstronger.Itwasonlytheeffectofhisapprehensionforme.

Andthentakingupthekey,hepresentedittome.--Ifyouwillgo,Madam--Yet,Icannot,cannotleaveyou!--Imustenterthegardenwithyou--forgiveme,butImustenterthegardenwithyou.

Andwillyou,willyouthusungenerously,Mr.Lovelace,takeadvantageofmyfears?ofmywishestopreventmischief?I,vainfool,tobeconcernedforeveryone;nobodyforme!

Dearestcreature!interruptedhe,holdingmyhand,asItremblinglyofferedtoputthekeytothelock--letme,ifyouwillgo,openthedoor.Butoncemore,consider,couldyoupossiblyobtainthatdelaywhichseemstobeyouronlydependence,whetheryoumaynotbecloserconfined?Iknowtheyhavealreadyhadthatinconsideration.Willyounot,inthiscase,bepreventedfromcorrespondingeitherwithMissHowe,orwithme?--Whothenshallassistyouinyourescape,ifescapeyouwould?--Fromyourchamber-windowonlypermittedtoviewthegarden

youmustnotenterinto,howwillyouwishfortheopportunityyounowhave,ifyourhatredtoSolmescontinue!--Butalas!thatcannotcontinue.Ifyougoback,itmustbefromtheimpulsesofayielding(whichyou'llcall,adutiful)heart,tiredandteasedoutofyourownwill.

Ihavenopatience,Sir,tobethusconstrained.MustIneverbeatlibertytofollowmyownjudgment?Betheconsequencewhatitmay,Iwillnotbethusconstrained.

Andthen,freeingmyhand,Iagainofferedthekeytothedoor.

Downthereadykneelerdroptbetweenmeandthat:Andcanyou,canyou,

Madam,oncemoreonmykneesletmeaskyou,lookwithanindifferenteyeupontheevilsthatmayfollow?ProvokedasIhavebeen,andtriumphedoverasIshallbe,ifyourbrothersucceeds,myownheartshudders,attimes,atthethoughtsofwhatmusthappen:Andcanyoursbeunconcerned?Letmebeseechyou,dearestcreature,toconsiderallthesethings;andlosenotthisonlyopportunity.Myintelligence--

Never,Mr.Lovelace,interruptedI,givesomuchcredittothewordsofatraitor.Yourbaseintelligencerisbutaservant.Hemaypretendtoknowmorethanhehasgroundsfor,inordertoearnthewagesof



corruption.YouknownotwhatcontrivancesIcanfindout.

Iwasoncemoreofferingthekeytothelock,when,startingfromhisknees,withavoiceofaffrightment,loudlywhispering,andasifoutofbreath,theyareatthedoor,mybelovedcreature!andtakingthekeyfromme,heflutteredwithit,asifhewoulddoublelockit.Andinstantlyavoicefromwithincriedout,burstingagainstthedoor,asiftobreakitopen,thepersonrepeatinghisviolentpushes,Areyouthere?--comeupthismoment!--thismoment!--heretheyare--heretheyarebothtogether!--yourpistolthismoment!--yourgun!--Thenanotherpush,andanother.Heatthesamemomentdrewhissword,andclappingitnakedunderhisarm,tookbothmytremblinghandsinhis;anddrawingmeswiftlyafterhim,Fly,fly,mycharmer;thismomentisallyouhaveforit,saidhe.--Yourbrother!--youruncles!--orthisSolmes!--theywillinstantlyburstthedoor--fly,mydearestlife,ifyouwouldnotbemorecruellyusedthanever--ifyouwouldnotseetwoorthreemurderscommittedatyourfeet,fly,fly,Ibeseechyou.

OLord:--help,help,criedthefool,allinamazeandconfusion,frightedbeyondthepowerofcontrouling.

Nowbehindme,nowbeforeme,nowonthisside,nowonthat,turnedImyaffrightedface,inthesamemoment;expectingafuriousbrotherhere,armedservantsthere,anenragedsisterscreaming,andafatherarmed

withterrorinhiscountenancemoredreadfulthaneventhedrawnswordwhichIsaw,orthoseIapprehended.Iranasfastashe;yetknewnotthatIran;myfearsaddingwingstomyfeet,atthesametimethattheytookallpowerofthinkingfromme--myfears,whichprobablywouldnothavesufferedmetoknowwhatcoursetotake,hadInothadhimtourgeanddrawmeafterhim:especiallyasIbeheldaman,whomusthavecomeoutofthedoor,keepingusinhiseye,runningnowtowardsus;thenbacktothegarden;beckoningandcallingtoothers,whomIsupposedhesaw,althoughtheturningofthewallhinderedmefromseeingthem;andwhomIimaginedtobemybrother,myfather,andtheirservants.

Thusterrified,Iwasgotoutofsightofthedoorinaveryfewminutes:andthen,althoughquitebreathlessbetweenrunningand

apprehension,heputmyarmunderhis,hisdrawnswordintheotherhand,andhurriedmeonstillfaster:myvoice,however,contradictingmyaction;crying,no,no,no,allthewhile;strainingmynecktolookback,aslongasthewallsofthegardenandparkwerewithinsight,andtillhebroughtmetothechariot:where,attending,weretwoarmedservantsofhisown,andtwoofLordM.'sonhorseback.

HereImustsuspendmyrelationforawhile:fornowIamcometothissadperiodofit,myindiscretionstaresmeintheface;andmyshameandmygriefgivemeacompunctionthatismorepoignantmethinksthanifIhadadaggerinmyheart.Tohaveittoreflect,thatIshouldsoinconsideratelygiveintoaninterview,which,hadIknowneithermyselforhim,orintheleastconsideredthecircumstancesofthecase,

Imighthavesupposedwouldputmeintothepowerofhisresolution,andoutofthatofmyownreason.

For,mightInothavebelieved,thathe,whothoughthehadcausetoapprehendthathewasonthepointoflosingapersonwhohadcosthimsomuchpainsandtrouble,wouldnothinderher,ifpossible,fromreturning?Thathe,whoknewIhadpromisedtogivehimupforever,ifinsistedasaconditionofreconciliation,wouldnotendeavourtoputitoutofmypowertodoso?Inshort,thathe,whohadartfullyforbornetosendformyletter,(forhecouldnotbewatched,mydear,)lesthe



shouldfindinitacountermandtomyappointment,(asImyselfcouldapprehend,althoughIprofitedbytheapprehension,)wouldwantadevicetokeepmewithhimtillthedangerofhavingourmeetingdiscoveredmightthrowmeabsolutelyintohispower,toavoidmyownworseusage,andthemischiefswhichmighthaveensued(perhapsinmyverysight)hadmyfriendsandhemet?

Butifitshallcomeout,thatthepersonwithinthegardenwashiscorruptedimplement,employedtofrightenmeawaywithhim,doyouthink,mydear,thatIshallnothavereasontohatehimandmyselfstillmore?Ihopehisheartcannotbesodeepandsovileaone:Ihopeitcannot!Buthowcameittopass,thatonemancouldgetoutatthegarden-door,andnomore?how,thatthatmankeptaloof,asitwere,andpursuedusnot;norranbacktoalarmthehouse?myfright,andmydistance,wouldnotletmebecertain;butreallythisman,asInowrecollect,hadtheairofthatvileJosephLeman.

Owhy,why,mydearfriends!--ButwhereforeblameIthem,whenIhadarguedmyselfintoahope,notimprobable,thateventhedreadfultrialIwastoundergososoonmightturnoutbetterthanifIhadbeendirectlycarriedawayfromthepresenceofmyonceindulgentparents,whomightpossiblyintendthattrialtobethelastIshouldhavehad?

WouldtoHeaven,thatIhadstoodit,however!thenifIhadafterwards

done,whatnowIhavebeenprevailedupon,orperhapsfoolishlyfrightenedtodo,IshouldnothavebeenstungsomuchbyinwardreproachasnowIam:andthiswouldhavebeenagreatevilavoided.

Youknow,mydear,thatyourClarissa'smindwaseverabovejustifyingherownfailingsbythoseofothers.Godforgivethoseofmyfriendswhohaveactedcruellybyme!Buttheirfaultsaretheirown,andnotexcusesformine.Andminebeganearly:forIoughtnottohavecorrespondedwithhim.

Othevileencroacher!howmyindignation,attimes,risesathim!thustoleadayoungcreature(toomuchindeedrelyinguponherownstrength)fromeviltoevil!--Thislastevil,althoughtheremote,yetsure

consequenceofmyfirst--myprohibitedcorrespondence!byafatherearlyprohibited.

HowmuchmoreproperlyhadIacted,withregardtothatcorrespondence,hadI,onceforall,whenhewasforbiddentovisitme,andItoreceivehisvisits,pleadedtheauthoritybywhichIoughttohavebeenbound,anddeniedtowritetohim!--ButIthoughtIcouldproceed,orstop,asIpleased.Isupposeditconcernedme,morethananyother,tobethearbitressofthequarrelsofunrulyspirits.--AndnowIfindmypresumptionpunished--punished,asothersinsfrequentlyare,byitself!

Astothislastrashness;now,thatitistoolate,IplainlyseehowIoughttohaveconductedmyself.AsheknewIhadbutonewayof

transmittingtohimtheknowledgeofwhatbefelme;asheknewthatmyfatewasuponacrisiswithmyfriends;andthatIhadinmylettertohimreservedthelibertyofrevocation;Ishouldnothavebeensolicitouswhetherhehadgotmyletterornot:whenhehadcome,andfoundIdidnotanswertohissignal,hewouldpresentlyhaveresortedtotheloosebricks,andtherebeensatisfied,bythedateofmyletter,thatitwashisownfaultthathehaditnotbefore.But,governedbythesamepragmaticalmotiveswhichinducedmetocorrespondwithhimatfirst,Iwasagainafraid,truly,withmyfoolishandbusyprescience;andthedisappointmentwouldhavethrownhimintothewayofreceiving



freshinsultsfromthesamepersons;whichmighthavemadehimguiltyofsomeviolencetothem.Andsotosavehimanapprehendedrashness,Irushedintoarealonemyself.Andwhatvexesmemoreis,thatitisplaintomenow,byallhisbehaviour,thathehadasgreataconfidenceinmyweakness,asIhadinmyownstrength.Andso,inapointentirelyrelativetomyhonour,hehastriumphed;forhehasnotbeenmistakeninme,whileIhaveinmyself!

Tellme,mydearMissHowe,tellmetruly,ifyourunbiassedheartdoesnotdespiseme?--Itmust!foryourmindandminewereeverone;andIdespisemyself!--AndwellImay:ForcouldthegiddiestandmostinconsiderategirlinEnglandhavedoneworsethanIshallappeartohavedoneintheeyeoftheworld?Sincemycrimewillbeknownwithouttheprovocations,andwithouttheartificesofthebetrayertoo;whileitwillbeahighaggravation,thatbetterthingswereexpectedfrommethanfrommanyothers.

Youchargemetomarrythefirstopportunity--Ah!mydear!anotheroftheblessedeffectsofmyfolly--That'sasmuchinmypowernowas--asIammyself!--AndcanIbesidesgiveasanctionimmediatelytohisdeludingarts?--CanIavoidbeingangrywithhimfortrickingmethus,asImaysay,(andasIhavecalledittohim,)outofmyself?--Forcompellingmetotakeastepsocontrarytoallmyresolutionsandassurancesgiventoyou;astepsodreadfullyinconvenienttomyself;so

disgracefulandsogrievous(asitmustbe)tomydearmother,wereItobelessregardfulofanyotherofmyfamilyorfriends?--Youdon'tknow,norcanyouimagine,mydear,howIammortified!--HowmuchIamsunkinmyownopinion!I,thatwasproposedforanexample,truly,toothers!--OthatIwereagaininmyfather'shouse,stealingdownwithalettertoyou;myheartbeatingwithexpectationoffindingonefromyou!

*****

ThisistheWednesdaymorningIdreadedsomuch,thatIoncethought

ofitasthedayofmydoom:butoftheMonday,itisplain,Ioughttohavebeenmostapprehensive.HadIstaid,andhadtheworstIdreadedhappened,myfriendswouldthenhavebeenanswerablefortheconsequences,ifanybadoneshadfollowed:--butnow,Ihaveonlythisconsolationleftme(averypoorone,you'llsay!)thatIhaveclearedthemofblame,andtakenitalluponmyself!

Youwillnotwondertoseethisnarrativesodismallyscrawled.Itisowingtodifferentpensandink,allbad,andwritteninsnatchesoftime;myhandtremblingtoowithfatigueandgrief.

Iwillnotaddtothelengthofit,bytheparticularsofhisbehaviourtome,andofourconversationatSt.Alban's,andsince;becausethose

willcomeincourseinthecontinuationofmystory;which,nodoubt,youwillexpectfromme.

OnlythusmuchwillIsay,thatheisextremelyrespectful(evenobsequiouslyso)atpresent,thoughIamsomuchdissatisfiedwithhimandmyselfthathehashithertohadnogreatcausetopraisemycomplaisancetohim.Indeed,Icanhardly,attimes,beartheseducerinmysight.

ThelodgingsIaminareinconvenient.Ishallnotstayinthem:soit



signifiesnothingtotellyouhowtodirecttomehither.Andwheremynextmaybe,asyetIknownot.

HeknowsthatIamwritingtoyou;andhasofferedtosendmyletter,whenfinished,byaservantofhis.ButIthoughtIcouldnotbetoocautious,asIamnowsituated,inhavingaletterofthisimportanceconveyedtoyou.Whoknowswhatsuchamanmaydo?Soverywickedacontriver!Thecontrivance,ifacontrivance,togetmeaway,soinsolentlymean!--ButIhopeitisnotacontrivanceneither!--Yet,bethatasitwill,Imustsay,thatthebestofhim,andofmyprospectswithhim,arebad;andyet,havingenrolledmyselfamongthetoo-laterepenters,whoshallpityme?

Nevertheless,Iwilldaretohopeforacontinuedinterestinyouraffections[IshallbemiserableindeedifImaynot!]andtoberememberedinyourdailyprayers.Forneithertimenoraccidentshallevermakemeceasetobe

YourfaithfulandaffectionateCLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOSEPHLEMANSAT.APRIL8.

HONESTJOSEPH,

Atlengthyourbelovedyoungladyhasconsentedtofreeherselffromthecrueltreatmentshehassolongborne.Sheistomeetmewithoutthegarden-doorataboutfouro'clockonMondayafternoon.Itoldyoushehadpromisedtodoso.Shehasconfirmedherpromise.ThankHeavenshehasconfirmedherpromise!

Ishallhaveachariot-and-sixreadyintheby-roadfrontingtheprivate

pathtoHarlowe-paddock;andseveralofmyfriendsandservantsnotfaroff,armedtoprotecther,iftherebeoccasion:buteveryonechargedtoavoidmischief.That,youknow,hasalwaysbeenmyprincipalcare.

Allmyfearis,that,whenshecomestothepoint,theover-nicenessofherprincipleswillmakeherwaver,andwanttogoback:althoughherhonourismyhonour,youknow,andmineisher's.Ifsheshould,andshouldIbeunabletoprevailuponher,allyourpastserviceswillavailnothing,andshewillbelosttomeforever:thepreythenofthatcursedSolmes,whosevilestinginesswillneverpermithimtodogoodtoanyoftheservantsofthefamily.

Ihavenodoubtofyourfidelity,honestJoseph;norofyourzealto

serveaninjuredgentleman,andanoppressedyounglady.YouseebytheconfidenceIreposeinyou,thatIhavenot;moreparticularly,onthisveryimportantoccasion,inwhichyourassistancemaycrownthework:for,ifshewaver,alittleinnocentcontrivancewillbenecessary.

Beverymindful,therefore,ofthefollowingdirections;takethemintoyourheart.Thiswillprobablybeyourlasttrouble,untilmybelovedandIarejoinedinholywedlock:andthenwewillbesuretotakecareofyou.YouknowwhatIhavepromised.Nomaneverreproachedmeforbreachofword.



These,then,honestJoseph,arethey:

Contrivetobeinthegarden,indisguise,ifpossible,andunseenbyyouryounglady.Ifyoufindthegarden-doorunbolted,youwillknowthatsheandIaretogether,althoughyoushouldnotseehergooutatit.Itwillbelocked,butmykeyshallbeonthegroundjustwithoutthedoor,thatyoumayopenitwithyour's,asitmaybeneedful.

Ifyouhearourvoicesparleying,keepatthedoortillIcryHem,hem,twice:butbewatchfulforthissignal;forImustnothemveryloud,lestsheshouldtakeitforasignal.Perhaps,instrugglingtoprevailuponthedearcreature,Imayhaveanopportunitytostrikethedoorhardwithmyelbow,orheel,toconfirmyou--thenyouaretomakeaviolentburstagainstthedoor,asifyouwouldbreakitopen,drawingbackwardandforwardtheboltinahurry:then,withanotherpush,butwithmorenoisethanstrength,lestthelockgiveway,cryout(asifyousawsomeofthefamily)Comeup,comeup,instantly!--Heretheyare!Heretheyare!--Hasten!--Thisinstant!hasten!Andmentionswords,pistols,guns,withasterribleavoiceasyoucancryoutwith.ThenshallIprevailuponher,nodoubt,iflothbefore,tofly.IfIcannot,Iwillenterthegardenwithher,andthehousetoo,betheconsequencewhatitwill.But,soaffrighted,theseisnoquestionbutshewillfly.

Whenyouthinkusatasufficientdistance[andIshallraisemyvoiceurgingherswifterflight,thatyoumayguessatthat]thenopenthedoorwithyourkey:butyoumustbesuretoopenitverycautiously,lestweshouldnotbefarenoughoff.Iwouldnothaveherknowyouhaveahandinthismatter,outofmygreatregardtoyou.

Whenyouhaveopenedthedoor,takeyourkeyoutofthelock,andputitinyourpocket:then,stoopingformine,putitinthelockontheinside,thatitmayappearasifthedoorwasopenedbyherself,withakey,whichtheywillsupposetobeofmyprocuring(itbeingnew)andleftopenbyus.

Theyshouldconcludesheisgoneoffbyherownconsent,thattheymay

notpursueus:thattheymayseenohopesoftemptingherbackagain.Ineithercase,mischiefmighthappen,youknow.

Butyoumusttakenotice,thatyouareonlytoopenthedoorwithyourkey,incasenoneofthefamilycomeuptointerruptus,andbeforewearequitegone:for,iftheydo,you'llfindbywhatfollows,thatyoumustnotopenthedooratall.Letthem,onbreakingitopen,orbygettingoverthewall,findmykeyontheground,iftheywill.

Iftheydonotcometointerruptus,andifyou,byhelpofyourkey,comeout,followusatadistance;and,withupliftedhands,andwildimpatientgestures,(runningbackwardandforward,forfearyoushouldcomeuptoonearus,andasifyousawsomebodycomingtoyour

assistance,)cryoutforhelp,help,andtohasten.Thenshallwebesoonatthechariot.

Tellthefamilythatyousawmeenterachariotwithher:adozen,ormore,menonhorseback,attendingus;allarmed;somewithblunderbusses,asyoubelieve;andthatwetookquitethecontrarywaytothatweshouldtake.

Yousee,honestJoseph,howcarefulIam,aswellasyou,toavoidmischief.



Observetokeepatsuchadistancethatshemaynotdiscoverwhoyouare.Takelongstrides,toalteryourgait;andholdupyourhead,honestJoseph;andshe'llnotknowittobeyou.Men'sairsandgaitsareasvariousandpeculiarastheirfaces.Pluckastakeoutofoneofthehedges:andtugatit,thoughitmaycomeeasy:this,ifsheturnback,willlookterrible,andaccountforyournotfollowingusfaster.Then,returningwithit,shouldered,tobragtothefamilywhatyouwouldhavedone,couldyouhaveovertakenus,ratherthanyouryoungladyshouldbecarriedoffbysucha------Andyoumaycallmenames,andcurseme.Andtheseairswillmakeyoulookvaliant,andinearnest.Yousee,honestJoseph,Iamalwayscontrivingtogiveyoureputation.Nomansuffersbyservingme.

But,ifourparleyshouldlastlongerthanIwish;andifanyofherfriendsmissherbeforeIcry,Hem,hem,twice;then,inordertosaveyourself,(whichisaverygreatpointwithme,Iassureyou,)makethesamenoiseasabove:butasIdirectedbefore,opennotthedoorwithyourkey.Onthecontrary,wishforakeywithallyourheart;butforfearanyofthemshouldbyaccidenthaveakeyaboutthem,keepinreadinesshalfadozenlittlegravel-stones,nobiggerthanpeas,andthrusttwoorthreeslilyintothekey-hole;whichwillhindertheirkeyfromturninground.Itisgood,youknow,Joseph,toprovideagainsteveryaccidentinsuchanimportantcase,asthis.Andletthisbeyour

cry,insteadoftheother,ifanyofmyenemiescomeinyoursight,asyouseemtobetryingtoburstthedooropen,Sir!Sir!orMadam!Madam!OLord,hasten!OLord,hasten!Mr.Lovelace!Mr.Lovelace!--Andveryloud--andthatshallquickenmemorethanitshallthoseyoucallto.--IfitbeBetty,andonlyBetty,Ishallthinkworseofyourartofmakinglove*thanofyourfidelity,ifyoucan'tfindawaytoamuseher,andputheruponafalsescent.

*SeeVol.II.LetterXXIX.

Youmusttellthemthatyouryoungladyseemedtorunasfastoffwith

measIwithher.Thiswillalsoconfirmtothemthatallpursuitisinvain.AnendwillherebybeputtoSolmes'shopes:andherfriends,afterawhile,willbemorestudioustobereconciledtoherthantogetherback.Soyouwillbeahappyinstrumentofgreatgoodtoallround.Andthiswillonedaybeacknowledgedbybothfamilies.Youwillthenbeeveryone'sfavourite;andeverygoodservant,forthefuture,willbeproudtobelikenedtohonestJosephLeman.

Ifsheshouldguessatyou,orfindyouout,Ihaveitalreadyinmyheadtowritealetterforyoutocopy,*which,occasionallyproduced,willsetyourightwithher.

*SeeVol.III.LetterXXI.

Thisonetimebediligent,becareful:thiswillbethecrownofall:andoncemore,depend,forarecompense,uponthehonourof

Yourassuredfriend,R.LOVELACE.

YouneednotbesomuchafraidofgoingtoofarwithBetty.Ifyoushouldmakeamatchwithher,sheisaverylikelycreature,though



avixen,asyousay.Ihaveanadmirablereceipttocureatermagantwife.--Neverfear,Joseph,butthoushaltbemasterofthinehouse.Ifshebeverytroublesome,Icanteachtheehowtobreakherheartinatwelvemonth;andhonestlytoo;--orthepreceptwouldnotbemine.

Iencloseanewearnestofmyfuturefavour.

LETTERIV

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQUIER,HISHONNERSUNDAYMORNING,APRIL9.

HONNEREDSIR,

ImustconfesseIaminfinitelyobligedtoyourHonner'sbounty.Butthislastcommand!--Itseemssointricket!Lordbemercifultome,howhaveIbeenledfromlittelsteppstogratestepps!--AndifIshouldbefoundout!--ButyourHonnersaysyouwilltakemeintoyourHonner'ssarvise,andprotectme,ifasIshouldatanytimebefoundout;andraisemywagesbesides;orsetmeuppinagoodinne;whichismyambishion.Andyouwillbehonnerableandkindtomydearestyounglady,

Godloveher.--Butwhocanbeunkindtoshe?

IwildomybestIamable,sinceyourHonnerwillbeapttoloseher,asyourHonnersays,ifIdonot;andamansostingiewillbeapttogainher.Butmayhapmydearesteyoungladywillnotmakeallthistrubbleneedful.Ifshehaspromissed,shewillstandtoit,Idaretosay.

IloveyourHonnerforcontriveingtosavemischiffsowell.IthoughttillIknow'dyourHonner,thatyouwasverrymischevous,andpleseyourHonner:butfindittobeclenecontrary.YourHonner,itisplane,meansmightywellbyeverybody,asfarasIsee.AsIamsureIdomyself;forIam,althoffaveryplaneman,andallthat,averyhonnest

one,IthankmyGod.Andhavegoodprincipels,andhavekeptmyyounglady'spresseptsalwaysinmind:forshegoesnowhere,butsavesasoulortwo,moreorless.

So,commendingmyselftoyourHonner'sfurtherfavour,notforgettingtheinne,whenyourHonnershallsoplease,andgoodoneoffers;forplasesarenoinherritansesnow-a-days.And,Ihope,yourHonnerwillnotthinkmeadishonestmanforsarvingyourHonneragenstmyduty,asitmaylook;butonlyasmyconshenceclearsme.

Bepleased,howsomever,ifitlikeyourHonner,nottocallmehonestJoseph,sooften.For,althoffIthinkmyselfverryhonnest,andallthat,yetIamtouchedalittel,forfearIshouldnotdothequite

rightthing:andtoobesides,yourHonnerhassuchafesseshiouswaywithyou,asthatIhardlyknowwhetheryouareinjestorearnest,whenyourHonnercallsmehonnestsooften.

Iamaveryplaneman,andseldomhavewrittosuchhonourablegentlemen;soyouwillbegoodenufftopassbyeverything,asIhaveoftensaid,andneednotnowsayoveragain.

AstoMrs.Betty;Itho'te,indeed,shelookedaboveme.Butshecomesonverewell,natheless.Icouldlikeherbetter,iffshewasbetterto



myyounglady.Butshehastoomuchwitforsoplaneaman.Natheless,ifshewastoangreme,althoffitisashametobeteawoman,yetIcoldemakeshifttothroemyhatather,orso,yourHonner.

Butthatsamereseit,iffyourHonnersoplease,tocureashrewishwife.Itwouldmoreencurregetowed,iffsobeoneknow'ditbefore-hand,asonemaysay.Solikewise,ifoneknoedonecouldhonnestly,asyourHonnersays,andasofthehandy-workofGod,inonetwelvemonth--

But,Ishallgrowimpertinenttosuchagrateman.--Andhereaftermaydoforthat,assheturnesout:foronemoughtbelothtopartwithher,mayhap,soverrysoontoo;espessiallyifshewastomakethenotablelandladyyourHonnerputintomyhead.

Buttwoncemoer,beggingyourHonner'sparden,andpromissingalldilligenceandexsackness,Ireste,

YourHonner'sdewtifulsarvanttocommand,JOSEPHLEMAN.

LETTERV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.ST.ALBAN'S,MONDAYNIGHT.

Isnatchafewmomentswhilemybelovedisretired,[asIhope,torest,]toperformmypromise.Nopursuit--norhaveIapprehensionsofany;thoughImustmakemycharmerdreadthattherewillbeone.

Andnow,letmetellthee,thatneverwasjoysocompleteasmine!--Butletmeinquire,isnottheangelflownaway?

*****

Ono!Sheisinthenextapartment!--Securelymine!--Mineforever!

Oecstasy!--Myheartwillburstmybreast,Toleapintoherbosom!

Iknewthatthewholestupidfamilywereinacombinationtodomybusinessforme.Itoldtheethattheywereallworkingforme,likesomanygroundmoles;andstillmoreblindthanthemolesaresaidtobe,unknowingthattheydidso.Imyself,thedirectoroftheirprincipalmotions;whichfallinginwiththemaliceoftheirlittlehearts,theytooktobealltheirown.

ButdidIsaymyjoywasperfect?--Ono!--Itreceivessomeabatementfrommydisgustedbride.ForhowcanIenduretothinkthatIowemoretoherrelations'precautionsthantoherfavourforme?--Oreven,asfarasIknow,toherpreferenceofmetoanotherman?

Butletmenotindulgethisthought.WereItodoso,itmightcostmycharmerdear.Letmerejoice,thatshehaspassedtherubicon:thatshecannotreturn:that,asIhaveorderedit,theflightwillappeartotheimplacablestobealtogetherwithherownconsent:andthatifIdoubt



herlove,Icanputhertotrialsasmortifyingtoherniceness,asglorioustomypride.--For,letmetellthee,dearlyasIloveher,ifIthoughttherewasbuttheshadowofadoubtinhermindwhethershepreferredmetoanymanliving,Iwouldshewhernomercy.

TUESDAY,DAY-DAWN.

But,onthewingsoflove,Iflytomycharmer,whoperhapsbythistimeisrisingtoencouragethetardydawn.IhavenotsleptawinkofthehourandhalfIlaydowntoinvitesleep.Itseemstome,thatIamnotsomuchbody,astorequiresuchavulgarrenovation.

Butwhy,asinthechariot,asintheinn,atalighting,allheart-burstinggrief,mydearestcreature?SOpersecutedasthouwertpersecuted!--Somuchindangerofthemostabhorredcompulsion!--Yetgriefsounsuspectedlysincereforanescapesocritical!--Takecare,takecare,Obelovedofmysoul!forjealousistheheartinwhichlovehaserectedatempletothee.

Yet,itmustbeallowed,thatsuchasuddentransitionmustaffecther;musticeherover.Whenalittlemoreusedtohernewsituation;whenherhurriesareatanend;whensheseeshowreligiouslyIshallobserveallherINJUNCTIONS;shewillundoubtedlyhavethegratitude

todistinguishbetweentheconfinementshehasescapedfrom,andthelibertyshehasreasontorejoicein.

Shecomes!Shecomes!Andthesunisjustrisingtoattendher!Adieu!BehalfashappyasIam(foralldiffidencies,likenight-fogsbeforethesun,disperseatherapproach)and,nextmyself,thouwiltbethehappiestmanintheworld.

LETTERVI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDNESDAY,APRIL12.

Iwillpursuemymelancholystory.

Beingthushurriedtothechariot,itwouldhavebeentonopurposetohaverefusedenteringintoit,hadhenotinmyfrightliftedmein,ashedid:anditinstantlydroveawayafullgallop,andstoppednottillitbroughtustoSt.Alban's;whichwasjustasthedayshutin.

IthoughtIshouldhavefaintedseveraltimesbytheway.Withupliftedhandsandeyes,Godprotectme!saidIoftentomyself:CanitbeI,thatamhere!Myeyesrunningover,andmyheartreadytoburstwith

sighsasinvoluntarilyasmyflight.

Howdifferent,howinexpressiblydifferent,thegaywretch;visiblytriumphing(asIcouldnotbeconstruehisalmostrapturousjoy)inthesuccessofhisarts!Butoverflowingwithcomplimentalflourishes,yetrespectfullydistanthisaddress,allthewayweflew;forthat,ratherthangalloping,wasthemotionofthehorses;whichtook,asIbelieve,around-aboutway,topreventbeingtraced.

Ihavereasontothink,therewereotherhorsemenathisdevotion;three



orfourdifferentpersons,abovetherankoftheservants,gallopingbyusnow-and-then,oneachsideofthechariot:buthetooknonoticeofthem;andIhadtoomuchgrief,mingledwithindignation,notwithstandingallhisblandishments,toaskanyquestionsaboutthem,oranythingelse.

Think,mydear,whatweremythoughtsonalightingfromthechariot;havingnoattendantofmyownsex;noclothesbutwhatIhadon,andthoselittlesuitedtosuchajourneyasIhadalreadytaken,andwasstilltotake:neitherhoodnorhat,noranythingbutahandkerchiefroundmyheadandshoulders:fatiguedtodeath:mymindstillmorefatiguedthanmybody:andinsuchafoamthehorses,thateveryoneintheinnweputupatguessed[theycouldnotdootherwise]thatIwasayounggiddycreature,whohadrunawayfromherfriends.Thisitwaseasytosee,bytheirwhisperingandgaping:moreofthepeopleofthehousealsocominginbyturns,thanwerenecessaryfortheattendance.

Themistressofthehouse,whomhesentintome,showedmeanotherapartment;and,seeingmereadytofain,broughtmehartshornandwater;andthen,uponmydesiringtobeleftaloneforhalfanhour,retired:forIfoundmyheartreadytoburst,onrevolvingeverythinginmythoughts:andthemomentshewasgone,fasteningthedoor,Ithrewmyselfintoanoldgreatchair,andgavewaytoaviolentfloodoftears,whichalittlerelievedme.

Mr.Lovelace,soonerthanIwished,sentupthegentlewoman,whopressedme,inhisname,toadmitmybrother,ortocomedowntohim:forhehadtoldherIwashissister;andthathehadbroughtme,againstmywill,andwithoutwarning,fromafriend'shouse,whereIhadbeenallthewinter,inordertopreventmymarryingagainsttheconsentofmyfriends;towhomhewasnowconductingme;andthat,havinggivenmenotimeforatravelling-dress,Iwasgreatlyoffendedathim.

So,mydear,yourfrank,youropen-heartedfriend,wasforcedtocountenancethistale;whichindeedsuitedmethebetter,becauseIwasunableforsometimetotalk,speak,orlookup;andsomydejection,andgrief,andsilence,mightverywellpassbeforethegentlewomanand

herniecewhoattendedme,asafitofsullenness.

TheroomIwasinbeingabed-chamber,Ichosetogodown,athisrepeatedmessage,attendedbythemistressofthehouse,tothatinwhichhewas.Heapproachedmewithgreatrespect,yetnotexceedingabrotherlypoliteness,whereabrotherispolite;and,callingmehisdearestsister,askedafterthestateofmymind;andhopedIwouldforgivehim;forneverbrotherhalfsowelllovedasister,asheme.

Awretch!hownaturallydidhefallintothecharacter,althoughIwassomuchoutofmine!

Unthinkingcreatureshavesomecomfortintheshortnessoftheirviews;

intheirunapprehensiveness;andthattheypenetratenotbeyondthepresentmoment:inshortthattheyareunthinking!--But,forapersonofmythoughtfuldisposition,whohasbeenaccustomedtolookforward,aswelltothepossible,astotheprobable,whatcomfortcanIhaveinmyreflections?

Butletmegiveyoutheparticularsofourconversationalittlebeforeandafteroursupper-time,joiningbothinone.

Whenwewerealone,hebesoughtme(Icannotsaybutwithallthetokens



ofapassionateandrespectfultenderness)tobebetterreconciledtomyselfandtohim:herepeatedallthevowsofhonourandinviolableaffectionthatheevermademe:hepromisedtobewhollygovernedbymeineveryfuturestep.Heaskedmetogivehimleavetopropose,whetherIchosetosetoutnextdaytoeitherofhisaunts?

Iwassilent.Iknewnotwhattosay,norwhattodo.

WhetherIchosetohaveprivatelodgingsprocuredformeineitherofthoseladies'neighbourhood,aswereoncemythoughts?

Iwasstillsilent.

WhetherIchosetogotoeitherofLordM.'sseats;thatofBerks,orthatinthecountywewerein?

Inlodgings,Isaid,anywhere,wherehewasnottobe.

Hehadpromisedthis,heowned;andhewouldreligiouslykeeptohisword,assoonashefoundalldangerofpursuitover;andthatIwassettledtomymind.But,iftheplacewereindifferenttome,Londonwasthesafest,andthemostprivate:andhisrelationsshouldallvisitmethere,themomentIthoughtfittoadmitthem.HiscousinCharlotte,particularly,shouldattendme,asmycompanion,ifIwouldacceptof

her,assoonasshewasabletogoabroad.Meantime,wouldIgotoLadyBettyLawrance's(LadySarahwasamelancholywoman)?Ishouldbethemostwelcomeguestsheeverreceived.

Itoldhim,Iwishednottogo(immediately,however,andintheframeIwasin,andnotlikelytobeoutof)toanyofhisrelations:thatmyreputationwasconcerned,tohavehimabsentfromme:that,ifIwereinsomeprivatelodging,themeanerthelesstobesuspected,(asitwouldbeknown,thatIwentawaybyhismeans;andhewouldbesupposedtohaveprovidedmehandsomeaccommodations,)itwouldbemostsuitablebothtomymindandtomysituation:thatthismightbebest,Ishouldthink,inthecountryforme;intownforhim.Andnomatterhowsoonhewasknowntobethere.

Ifhemightdeliverhisopinion,hesaid,itwas,thatsinceIdeclinedgoingtoanyofhisrelations,Londonwastheonlyplaceintheworldtobeprivatein.Everynewcomerinacountrytownorvillageexcitedacuriosity:Apersonofmyfigure[andmanycomplimentshemademe]wouldexcitemore.Evenmessagesandletters,wherenoneusedtobebrought,wouldoccasioninquiry.Hehadnotprovidedalodginganywhere,supposingIwouldchoosetogoeithertoLondon,whereaccommodationsofthatsortmightbefixeduponinanhour'stime,ortoLadyBetty's;ortoLordM.'sHerfordshireseat,wherewasthehousekeeper,anexcellentwoman,Mrs.Greme,suchanotherasmyNorton.

Tobesure,Isaid,ifIwerepursued,itwouldbeintheirfirst

passion;andsomeoneofhisrelations'houseswouldbetheplacetheywouldexpecttofindmeat--Iknewnotwhattodo.

Mypleasureshoulddeterminehim,hesaid,beitwhatitwould.OnlythatIweresafe,wasallhewassolicitousabout.Hehadlodgingsintown;buthedidnotoffertoproposethem.Heknew,Iwouldhavemoreobjectionstogotothem,thanIcouldtogotoLordM.'s,ortoLadyBetty's.

Nodoubtofit,Ireplied,withsuchanindignationinmymanner,as



madehimrunoverwithprofessions,thathewasfarfromproposingthem,orwishingformyacceptanceofthem.Andagainherepeated,thatmyhonourandsafetywereallhewassolicitousabout;assuringme,thatmywillshouldbealawtohimineveryparticular.

Iwastoopeevish,andtoomuchafflicted,andindeedtoomuchincensedagainsthim,totakewellanythinghesaid.

Ithoughtmyself,Isaid,extremelyunhappy.Iknewnotwhattodetermineupon:myreputationnow,nodoubt,utterlyruined:destituteofclothes:unfittobeseenbyanybody:myveryindigence,asImightcallit,proclaimingmyfollytoeveryonewhosawme;whowouldsupposethatIhadbeentakenatadvantage,orhadgivenanundueone;andhadnopowerovereithermywillormyactions:thatIcouldnotbutthinkIhadbeendealtartfullywith:thathehadseemedtohavetaken,whathemightsuppose,thejustmeasureofmyweakness,foundedonmyyouthandinexperience:thatIcouldnotforgivemyselfformeetinghim:thatmyheartbledforthedistressesofmyfatherandmother,onthisoccasion:thatIwouldgivetheworld,andallmyhopesinit,tohavebeenstillinmyfather'shouse,whateverhadbeenmyusage:that,lethimprotestandvowwhathewould,Isawsomethinglowandselfishinhislove,thathecouldstudytoputayoungcreatureuponmakingsuchasacrificeofherdutyandconscience:whenaperson,actuatedbyagenerouslove,mustseektoobligetheobjectofit,ineverythingessentialtoher

honour,andtoherpeaceofmind.

HewasveryattentivetoallIsaid,neverofferingtointerruptmeonce.Hisanswertoeveryarticle,almostmethodically,shewedhismemory.

'WhatIhadsaid,hetoldme,madehimverygrave;andhewouldansweraccordingly.

'Hewasgrievedathisheart,tofindthathehadsolittleshareinmyfavourorconfidence.

'Astomyreputation,(hemustbeverysincerewithme,)thatcouldnot

sufferhalfsomuchbythestepIsoregrettedtohavetaken,asbytheconfinement,andequallyfoolishandunjusttreatment,Ihadmetwithfrommyrelations:thateverymouthwasfullofblameofthem,ofmybrotherandsisterparticularly;andofwonderatmypatience:thathemustrepeatwhathehadwrittentomehebelievedmorethanonce,ThatmyfriendsthemselvesexpectedthatIshouldtakeaproperopportunitytofreemyselffromtheirpersecutions;whyelsedidtheyconfineme?Thatmyexaltedcharacter,ashecalledit,wouldstillbearmeout,withthosewhoknewme;whoknewmybrother'sandsister'smotives;andwhoknewthewretchtheywereforcompellingmetohave.

'Withregardtoclothes;who,asmatterswerecircumstanced,couldexpectthatIshouldbeabletobringawayanyothersthanthoseIhad

onatthetime?Forpresentuseorwear,alltheladiesofhisfamilywouldtakeapridetosupplyme:forfuture,theproductofthebestlooms,notonlyinEngland,butthroughouttheworld,wereatmycommand.

'IfIwantedmoney,asnodoubtImust,heshouldbeproudtosupplyme:Wouldtoheaven,hemightpresumetohope,therewerebutoneinterestbetweenus!'

Andthenhewouldfainhavehadmetoacceptofabanknoteofahundred



pounds;which,unawarestome,heputintomyhand:butwhich,youmaybesure,Irefusedwithwarmth.

'Hewasinexpressiblygrievedandsurprised,hesaid,tohearmesayhadactedartfullybyme.Hecameprovided,accordingtomyconfirmedappointment,'[awretchtoupbraidmethus!]'toredeemmefrommypersecutors;andlittleexpectedachangeofsentiment,andthatheshouldhavesomuchdifficultytoprevailuponme,ashehadmetwith:thatperhapsImightthinkhisoffertogointothegardenwithme,andtofacemyassembledrelations,wasapieceofartonly:butthatifIdid,Iwrongedhim:sincetothishour,seeingmyexcessiveuneasiness,hewished,withallhissoulhehadbeenpermittedtoaccompanymein.Itwasalwayshismaximtobraveathreateneddanger.Threateners,wheretheyhaveanopportunitytoputinforcetheirthreats,wereseldomtobefeared.Buthadhebeenassuredofaprivatestab,orofasmanydeath'swoundsastherewerepersonsinmyfamily,(madedesperateasheshouldhavebeenbymyreturn,)hewouldhaveattendedmeintothehouse.'

So,mydear,whatIhavetodo,istoholdmyselfinexcusableformeetingsuchadeterminedandaudaciousspirit;that'sall!Ihavehardlyanyquestionnow,butthathewouldhavecontrivedsomewickedstratagemorothertohavegotmeaway,hadImethimatamidnighthour,asonceortwiceIhadthoughtstodo;andthatwouldhavebeen

moreterriblestill.

Heconcludedthispartofhistalk,withsaying,'Thathedoubtednotbutthat,hadheattendedmein,heshouldhavecomeoffineveryone'sopinionwell,thatheshouldhavehadgeneralleavetorenewhisvisits.'

Hewenton--'Hemustbesoboldastotellme,thatheshouldhavepaidavisitofthiskind,(butindeedaccompaniedbyseveralofhistrustyfriends,)hadInotmethim;andthatveryafternoontoo;forhecouldnottamelyletthedreadfulWednesdaycome,withoutmakingsomeefforttochangetheirdeterminations.'

What,mydear,wastobedonewithsuchaman!

'Thatthereforeformysake,aswellasforhisown,hehadreasontowishthatadiseasesodesperatehadbeenattemptedtobeovercomebyasdesperatearemedy.Weallknow,saidhe,thatgreatendsaresometimesbroughtaboutbytheverymeansbywhichtheyareendeavouredtobefrustrated.'

Mypresentsituation,Iamsure,thoughtI,affordsasadevidenceofthistruth!

Iwassilentallthistime.Myblamewasindeedturnedinward.Sometimes,too,Iwashalf-frightedathisaudaciousness:atothers,had

thelessinclinationtointerrupthim,beingexcessivelyfatigued,andmyspiritssunktonothing,withaviewevenofthebestprospectswithsuchaman.

Thisgavehisopportunitytoproceed:andthathedid;assumingastillmoreseriousair.

'Astowhatfurtherremainedforhimtosay,inanswertowhatIhadsaid,hehopedIwouldpardonhim;but,uponhissoul,hewasconcerned,infinitelyconcerned,herepeated,(hiscolourandhisvoicerising,)



thatitwasnecessaryforhimtoobserve,howmuchIchoserathertohaveruntherisqueofbeingSolmes'swife,thantohaveitinmypowertorewardamanwho,Imustforgivehim,hadbeenasmuchinsultedonmyaccount,asIhadbeenonhis--whohadwatchedmycommands,and(pardonme,Madam)everchangeablemotionofyourpen,allhours,inallweathers,andwithacheerfulnessandardour,thatnothingbutthemostfaithfulandobsequiouspassioncouldinspire.'

Inow,mydear,begantoreviveintoalittlemorewarmthofattention.--

'Andall,Madam,forwhat?'--HowIstared!forhestoptthenamomentortwo--'Only,'wentheon,'toprevailuponyoutofreeyourselffromungenerousandbaseoppressions'--

Sir,Sir,indignantlysaidI--

'Hearmebutout,dearestMadam!--Myheartisfull--ImustspeakwhatIhavetosay--Tobetold(foryourwordsareyetinmyears,andatmyheart!)thatyouwouldgivetheworld,andallyourhopesinit,tohavebeenstillinyourcruelandgloomyfather'shouse'--

Notaword,Sir,againstmyfather!--Iwillnotbearthat--

'Whateverhadbeenyourusage:--andyouhaveacredulity,Madam,againstallprobability,ifyoubelieveyoushouldhaveavoidedbeingSolmes'swife:ThatIhaveputyouuponsacrificingyourdutyandconscience--yet,dearestcreature!seeyounotthecontradictionthatyourwarmthoftemperhassurprisedyouinto,whenthereluctanceyoushewedtothelasttoleaveyourpersecutors,hasclearedyourconsciencefromtheleastreproachofthissort?'--

OSir!Sir!areyousocriticalthen?Areyousolightinyourangerastodwelluponwords?--

Indeed,mydear,Ihavesincethoughtthathisangerwasnotowingtothatsuddenimpetus,whichcannotbeeasilybridled;butratherwasa

sortofmanageableangerletloosetointimidateme.

'Forgiveme,Madam--Ihavejustdone--HaveInot,inyouropinion,hazardedmylifetoredeemyoufromoppression?Yetisnotmyreward,afterall,precarious?--For,Madam,haveyounotconditionedwithme(and,hardastheconditionis,mostsacredlywillIobserveit)thatallmyhopemustberemote?Thatyouaredeterminedtohaveitinyourpowertofavourorrejectmetotally,asyouplease?'

See,mydear!ineveryrespectmyconditionchangedfortheworse!Isitinmypowertotakeyouradvice,ifIshouldthinkiteversorighttotakeit?*

*ClarissahadbeencensuredasbehavingtoMr.Lovelace,intheirfirstconversationatSt.Alban's,andafterwards,withtoomuchreserve,andevenwithhaughtiness.Surelythose,whohavethoughthertoblameonthisaccount,havenotpaidadueattentiontothestory.Howearly,asabove,andinwhatimmediatelyfollows,doesheremindherofthetermsofdistancewhichshehadprescribedtohim,beforeshewasinhispower,inhopestoleavethedooropenforareconciliationwithherfriends,whichherheartwassetupon?Andhowartfullydoeshe(unrequired)promisetoobservetheconditionsinwhichsheinher



presentcircumstancesandsituation(inpursuanceofMissHowe'sadvice)wouldgladlyhavedispensedwith?--Tosaynothingoftheresentmentshewasunderanecessitytoshew,atthemannerofhisgettingheraway,inordertojustifytohimthesincerityofherrefusaltogooffwithhim.See,inhersubsequentLettertoMissHowe,No.IX.,herownsenseuponthesubject.

'Andhaveyounotfurthermoredeclared,'proceededhe'thatyouwillengagetorenouncemeforever,ifyoufriendsinsistuponthatcruelrenunciation,asthetermsofbeingreconciledtoyou?

'Butnevertheless,Madam,allthemeritofhavingsavedyoufromanodiouscompulsion,shallbemine.Igloryinit,thoughIweretoloseyouforever.AsIseeIambuttoolikelytodo,fromyourpresentdispleasure;andespecially,ifyourfriendsinsistuponthetermsyouarereadytocomplywith.

'Thatyouareyourownmistress,throughmymeans,is,Irepeat,myboast.Assuch,Ihumblyimploreyourfavour,andthatonlyupontheconditionsIhaveyieldedtohopeforit.AsIdonow,thushumbly,[theproudwretchfallingononeknee,]yourforgiveness,forsolongdetainingyourear,andforalltheplaindealingthatmyundesigningheartwouldnotbedeniedtoutterbymylips.'

OSir,prayrise!Lettheobligedkneel,ifoneofusmustkneel!But,nevertheless,proceednotinthisstrain,Ibeseechyou.Youhavehadagreatdealoftroubleaboutme:buthadyouletmeknowintime,thatyouexpectedtoberewardedforitatthepriceofmyduty,Ishouldhavesparedyoumuchofit.

Farbeitfromme,Sir,todepreciatemeritsoextraordinary.Butletmesay,thathaditnotbeenfortheforbiddencorrespondenceIwasteasedbyyouinto;andwhichIhadnotcontinued(everyletter,formanyletters,intendedtobethelast)butbecauseIthoughtyouasuffererfrommyfriends;Ihadnotbeeneitherconfinedorilltreated:norwouldmybrother'slow-meantviolencehavehadafoundationtowork

upon.

IamfarfromthinkingmycasewouldhavebeensoverydesperateasyouimaginehadIstaid.Myfatherlovedmeinhisheart:hewouldnotseemebefore;andIwantedonlytoseehim,andtobeheard;andadelayofhissentencewastheleastthingIexpectedfromthetrialIwastostand.

Youareboastingofyourmerits,Sir:letmeritbeyourboast;nothingelsecanattractme.Ifpersonalconsiderationshadprincipalweightwithme,eitherinSolmes'sdisfavour,orinyourfavour,Ishalldespisemyself:ifyouvalueyourselfuponthem,inpreferencetothepersonofthepoorSolmes,Ishalldespiseyou!

Youmaygloryinyourfanciedmeritsingettingmeaway:butthecauseofyourglory,Itellyouplainly,ismyshame.

Maketoyourselfatitletomyregard,whichIcanbetterapproveof;orelseyouwillnothavesomuchmeritwithme,asyouhavewithyourself.

Buthere,Sir,likethefirstpair,(I,atleast,drivenoutofmyparadise,)arewerecriminating.Nomoreshallyouneedtotellmeofyoursufferings,andyourmerits!yourallhours,andallweathers!For



IwillbeartheminmemoryaslongasIlive;andifitbeimpossibleformetorewardthem,beeverreadytoowntheobligation.AllthatIdesireofyounowis,toleaveittomyselftoseekforsomeprivateabode:totakethechariotwithyoutoLondon,orelsewhere:and,ifIhaveanyfurtheroccasionforyourassistanceandprotection,Iwillsignifyittoyou,andbestillfurtherobligedtoyou.

Youarewarm,mydearestlife!--Butindeedthereisnooccasionforit.HadIanyviewsunworthyofmyfaithfulloveforyou,Ishouldnothavebeensohonestinmydeclarations.

Thenhebeganagaintovowthesincerityofhisintentions--

ButItookhimupshort:Iamwillingtobelieveyou,Sir.Itwouldbeinsupportablebuttosupposetherewereanecessityforsuchsolemndeclarations.[Atthisheseemedtocollecthimself,asImaysay,intoalittlemorecircumspection.]IfIthoughttherewere,Iwouldnotsitwithyouhere,inapublicinn,Iassureyou,althoughcheatedhither,asfarasIknow,bymethods(youmustexcuseme,Sir)which,buttosuspect,willhardlyletmehavepatienceeitherwithyouorwithmyself--butnomoreofthis,justnow:Letme,Ibeseechyou,goodSir,bowing[Iwasveryangry!]letmeonlyknowwhetheryouintendtoleaveme;orwhetherIhaveonlyescapedfromoneconfinementtoanother?

Cheatedhither,asfarasIknow,Madam!Letyouknow(andwiththatair,too,charming,thoughgrievoustomyheart!)ifyouhaveonlyescapedfromoneconfinementtoanother--amazing!perfectlyamazing!Andcantherebeanecessityformetoanswerthis?Youareabsolutelyyourownmistress--itwasverystrange,ifyouwerenot.Themomentyouareinaplaceofsafety,Iwillleaveyou.Tooneconditiononly,givemeleavetobegyourconsent:itisthis,thatyouwillbepleased,nowyouaresoentirelyinyourownpower,torenewapromisevoluntarilymadebefore;voluntarily,orIwouldnotnowpresumetorequestit;foralthoughIwouldnotbethoughtcapableofgrowinguponconcession,yetIcannotbeartothinkoflosingthegroundyourgoodnesshadgivenmeroomtohopeIhadgained;'That,makeuphowyoupleasewithyourrelations,youwillnevermarryanyotherman,whileIamlivingand

single,unlessIshouldbesowickedastogivenewcauseforhighdispleasure.'

Ihesitatenottoconfirmthispromise,Sir,uponyourowncondition.Inwhatmannerdoyouexpecttoconfirmit?

Only,Madam,byyourword.

ThenIneverwill.

Hehadtheassurance(Iwasnowinhispower)tosalutemeasasealingofmypromise,ashecalledit.Hismotionwassosudden,thatIwasnotawareofit.Itwouldhavelookedaffectedtobeveryangry;yetIcould

notbepleased,consideringthisasaleadingfreedom,fromaspiritsoaudaciousandencroaching:andhemightsee,thatIwasnot.

Hepassedallthatmywithanairpeculiartohimself--Enough,enough,dearestMadam!Andnowletmebegofyoubuttoconquerthisdreadfuluneasiness,whichgivesmetoapprehendtoomuchformyjealouslovetobear;anditshallbemywholeendeavourtodeserveyourfavour,andtomakeyouthehappiestwomanintheworld;asIshallbethehappiestofmen.



Ibrokefromhimtowritetoyoumyprecedingletter;butrefusedtosenditbyhisservant,asItoldyou.Themistressofthehousehelpedmetoamessenger,whowastocarrywhatyoushouldgivehimtoLordM.'sseatinHertfordshire,directedforMrs.Greme,thehousekeeperthere.Andearlyinthemorning,forfearofpursuit,weweretosetoutthatway:andthereheproposedtochangethechariotandsixforachaiseandpairofhisown,whichhehadatthatseat,asitwouldbealess-noticedconveyance.

Ilookedovermylittlestockofmoney;andfoundittobenomorethansevenguineasandsomesilver:therestofmystockwasbutfiftyguineas,andthatfivemorethanIthoughtitwas,whenmysisterchallenegedmeastothesumIhadbyme:*andthoseIleftinmyescritoire,littleintendingtogoawaywithhim.

*SeeVol.I.LetterXLIII.

Indeedmycaseaboundswithashockingnumberofindelicatecircumstances.Amongtherest,Iwasforcedtoaccounttohim,whoknewIcouldhavenoclothesbutwhatIhadon,howIcametohavelinenwithme(forhecouldnotbutknowIsentforit);lestheshouldimagineIhadanearlydesigntogoawaywithhim,andmadethatpartofthe

preparation.

Hemostheartilywished,hesaid,formymind'ssake,thatyourmotherwouldhaveaffordedmeherprotection;anddeliveredhimselfuponthissubjectwithequalfreedomandconcern.

Thereare,mydearMissHowe,amultitudeofpunctiliosanddecorums,whichayoungcreaturemustdispensewith,who,inasituationlikemine,makesamantheintimateattendantofherperson.Icouldnow,Ithink,givetwentyreasonsstrongerthananyIhaveheretoforementioned,whywomenoftheleastdelicacyshouldneverthinkofincurringthedangerandthedisgraceoftakingthestepIhavebeendrawnintotake,butwithhorrorandaversion;andwhytheyshouldlook

uponthemanwhoshouldtemptthemtoit,asthevilestandmostselfishofseducers.

*****

Beforefiveo'clock(Tuesdaymorning)themaidservantcameuptotellmethatmybrotherwasready,andthatbreakfastalsowaitedformeintheparlour.Iwentdownwithaheartasheavyasmyeyes,andreceivedgreatacknowledgementsandcomplimentsfromhimonbeingsosoondressed,andready(asheinterpretedit)tocontinueonourjourney.

HehadthethoughtwhichIhadnot(forwhathadItowiththinking,whohaditnotwhenIstoodmostinneedofit?)topurchaseformeavelvethood,andashortcloke,trimmedwithsilver,withoutsayinganythingtome.Hemustrewardhimself,theartfulencroachersaid,beforethelandladyandhermaidsandniece,forhisforethought;andwouldsalutehisprettysullensister!--Hetookhisreward;and,ashesaidbefore,atearwithit.Whileheassuredme,stillbeforethem[avilewretch!]thatIhadnothingtofearfrommeetingwithparentswhosodearlylovedme.--



HowcouldIbecomplaisant,mydear,tosuchamanasthis?

Whenwehadgotinthechariot,anditbegantomove,heaskedme,whetherIhadanyobjectiontogotoLordM.'sHertfordshireseat?HisLordship,hesaid,wasathisBerkshireone.

Itoldhim,Ichosenottogo,asyet,toanyofhisrelations;forthatwouldindicateaplaindefiancetomyown.Mychoicewas,togotoaprivatelodging,andforhimtobeatadistancefromme:atleast,tillIheardhowthingsweretakenbymyfriends:forthat,althoughIhadbutlittlehopesofareconciliationasitwas;yetiftheyknewIwasinhisprotection,orinthatofanyofhisfriends,(whichwouldbelookeduponasthesamething,)therewouldnotberoomforanyhopesatall.

IshouldgovernhimasIpleased,hesolemnlyassuredme,ineverything.ButhestillthoughtLondonwasthebestplaceforme;andifIwereoncesafethere,andinalodgingtomyliking,hewouldgotoM.Hall.But,asIapprovednotofLondon,hewouldurgeitnofurther.

Heproposed,andIconsented,toputupataninnintheneighbourhoodofTheLawn(ashecalledLordM.'sseatinthiscounty)sinceIchosenottogothither.AndhereIgottwohourstomyself;whichItoldhimIshouldpassinwritinganotherlettertoyou,(meaningmynarrative,

which,thoughgreatlyfatigued,IhadbegunatSt.Alban's,)andinonetomysister,toapprisethefamily(whethertheyweresolicitousaboutitornot)thatIwaswell;andtobegthatmyclothes,someparticularbooks,andthefiftyguineasIhadleftinmyescritoire,mightbesentme.

Heasked,ifIhadconsideredwhithertohavethemdirected?

Indeed,notI,Itoldhim:Iwasastrangerto--

Sowashe,heinterruptedme;butitstruckhimbychance--

Wickedstory-teller!

But,addedhe,Iwilltellyou,Madam,howitshallbemanaged--Ifyoudon'tchoosetogotoLondon,itis,nevertheless,bestthatyourrelationsshouldthinkyouthere;forthentheywillabsolutelydespairoffindingyou.Ifyouwrite,bepleasedtodirect,tobeleftforyou,atMr.Osgood's,nearSoho-square.Mr.Osgoodisamanofreputation:andthiswilleffectuallyamusethem.

Amusethem,mydear!--Amusewhom?--Myfather!--myuncles!--Butitmustbeso!----Allhisexpedientsready,yousee!

Ihadnoobjectiontothis:andIhavewrittenaccordingly.ButwhatanswerIshallhave,orwhetherany,thatiswhatgivesmenosmall

anxiety.

This,however,isoneconsolation,thatifIhaveananswer,andalthoughmybrothershouldbethewriter,itcannotbemoreseverethanthetreatmentIhaveoflatereceivedfromhimandmysister.

Mr.Lovelacestaidoutaboutanhourandhalf;andthencamein;impatientlysendinguptomenolessthanfourtimes,todesireadmittance.ButIsenthimwordasoften,thatIwasbusy;andatlast,thatIshouldbeso,tilldinnerwasready.Hethenhastenedthat,asI



heardhimnow-and-then,withaheartycurseuponthecookandwaiters.

Thisisanotherofhisperfections.Iventuredafterwardstocheckhimforhisfreewords,aswesatatdinner.

Havingheardhimswearathisservant,whenbelow,whom,nevertheless,heownstobeagoodone;itisasadlife,saidI,theseinnkeeperslive,Mr.Lovelace.

No;prettywell,Ibelieve--butwhy,Madam,thinkyou,thatfellows,whoeatanddrinkatothermen'scost,ortheyaresorryinnkeepers,shouldbeentitledtopity?

Becauseofthesoldierstheyareobligedtoquarter;whoaregenerally,Ibelieve,wretchedprofligates.Blessme!saidI,howIheardoneofthemswearandcurse,justnow,atamodest,meekman,asIjudgebyhislowvoice,andgentleanswers!--Welldotheymakeitaproverb--Likeatrooper!

Hebithislip;arose;turneduponhisheel;stepttotheglass;andlookingconfidentlyabashed,ifImaysayso,Ay,Madam,saidhe,thesetroopersaresadswearingfellows.Ithinktheirofficersshouldchastisethemforit.

Iamsuretheydeservechastisement,repliedI:forswearingisamostunmanlyvice,andcursingaspoorandlowaone;sincetheyproclaimtheprofligate'swantofpower,andhiswickednessatthesametime;for,couldsuchaonepunishashespeaks,hewouldbeafiend!

Charminglyobserved,bymysoul,Madam!--ThenexttrooperIhearswearandcurse,I'lltellhimwhatanunmanly,andwhatapoorwretchheis.

Mrs.Gremecametopayherdutytome,asMr.Lovelacecalledit;andwasveryurgentwithmetogotoherlord'shouse;lettingmeknowwhathandsomethingsshehadheardofherlord,andhistwonieces,andallthefamily,sayofme;andwhatwishesforseveralmonthspasttheyhadputupforthehonourshenowhopedwouldsoonbedonethemall.

Thisgavemesomesatisfaction,asitconfirmedfromthemouthofaverygoodsortofwomanallthatMr.Lovelacehadtoldme.

Uponinquiryaboutaprivatelodging,sherecommendedmetoasister-in-lawofhers,eightmilesfromthence--whereInowam.Andwhatpleasedmethebetter,was,thatMr.Lovelace(ofwhomIcouldseeshewasinfinitelyobservant)obligedher,ofhisownmotion,toaccompanymeinthechaise;himselfridingonhorseback,withhistwoservants,andoneofLordM.'s.Andherewearrivedaboutfouro'clock.

But,asItoldyouinmyformer,thelodgingsareinconvenient.Mr.Lovelaceindeedfoundgreatfaultwiththem:andtoldMrs.Greme(who

hadsaid,thattheywerenotworthyofus)thattheycamenotupeventoherownaccountofthem.Asthehousewasamilefromatown,itwasnotproperforhim,hesaid,tobesofardistantfromme,lestanythingshouldhappen:andyettheapartmentswerenotseparateanddistinctenoughformetolikethem,hewassure.

Thismustbeagreeableenoughforhim,youwillbelieve.

Mrs.GremeandIhadagooddealoftalkinthechaiseabouthim:shewasveryeasyandfreeinheranswerstoallIasked;andhas,Ifind,a



veryseriousturn.

Iledherontosaytothefollowingeffect;somepartofitnotunlikewhatLordM.'sdismissedbailiffhadsaidbefore;bywhichIfindthatalltheservantshavealikeopinionofhim.

'ThatMr.Lovelacewasagenerousman:thatitwashardtosay,whethertheservantsofherlord'sfamilylovedorfearedhimmost:thatherlordhadaverygreataffectionforhim:thathistwonobleauntswerenotlessfondofhim:thathiscousinsMontaguewereasgoodnaturedyoungladiesaseverlived:thatLordM.andLadySarah,andLadyBettyhadproposedseveralladiestohim,beforehemadehisaddressestome:andevensince;despairingtomovemeandmyfriendsinhisfavour.--Butthathehadnothoughtsofmarryingatall,shehadheardhimsay,ifitwerenottome:thataswellherlordasthetwoladieshissisterswereagooddealconcernedattheill-usagehereceivedfrommyfamily:butadmiredmycharacter,andwishedtohavehimmarriedtome(althoughIwerenottohaveashilling)inpreferencetoanyotherperson,fromtheopiniontheyhadoftheinfluenceIshouldhaveoverhim.That,tobesure,Mr.Lovelacewasawildgentleman:butwildnesswasadistemperwhichwouldcureitself.Thatherlorddelightedinhiscompany,wheneverhecouldgetit:butthattheyoftenfellout;andhislordshipwasalwaysforcedtosubmit--indeed,washalfafraidofhim,shebelieved;forMr.Lovelacewoulddoashepleased.Shemingleda

thousandpitiesoften,thatheactednotuptothetalentslenthim--yetwouldhaveit,thathehadfinequalitiestofoundareformationupon:and,whenthehappydaycame,wouldmakeamendsforall:andofthisallhisfriendsweresoassured,thattheywishedfornothingsoearnestly,asforhismarriage.'

This,indifferentasitis,isbetterthanmybrothersaysofhim.

Thepeopleofthehousehereareveryhonest-lookingindustriousfolks:Mrs.Sorlingsisthegentlewoman'sname.Thefarmseemswellstocked,andthriving.Sheisawidow;hastwosons,mengrown,whoviewitheachotherwhichshalltakemostpainsinpromotingthecommongood;andtheyarebothofthem,Ialreadysee,morerespectfultotwomodestyoung

womentheirsisters,thanmybrotherwastohissister.

IbelieveImuststayherelongerthanatfirstIthoughtIshould.

Ioughttohavementioned,that,beforeIsetoutforthisplace,Ireceivedyourkindletter.*Everythingiskindfromsodearafriend.

*SeeVol.II.LetterXLVII.

Iown,thatafterIhadtoldyouofmyabsolutedeterminationnottogoawaywithhim,youmightwellbesurprised,atyourfirsthearingthat

Iwasactuallygone.TheLordblessme,mydear,Imyself,attimes,canhardlybelieveitisI,thathavebeenledtotakesostrangeastep.

IhavenotthebetteropinionofMr.Lovelaceforhisextravagantvolubility.Heistoofullofprofessions.Hesaystoomanyfinethingsofme,andtome.Truerespect,truevalue,Ithink,liesnotinwords:wordscannotexpressit:thesilentawe,thehumble,thedoubtingeye,andeventhehesitatingvoice,bettershewitbymuch,than,asourbelovedShakespearesays,



----TherattlingtongueOfsaucyandaudaciouseloquence.

Themanindeedattimesisallupontheecstatic;oneofhisphrases.But,tomyshameandconfusion,Imustsay,thatIknowtoowelltowhattoattributehistransports.Inoneword,itistohistriumph,mydear.And,toimputeittothatperhapsequallyexposesmyvanity,andcondemnsmyfolly.

Wehavebeenalarmedwithnotionsofapursuit,foundeduponaletterfromhisintelligencer.

Howdodifferentcircumstanceseithersanctifyorcondemnthesameaction!--Whatcareoughtwetotakenottoconfoundthedistinctionsofrightandwrong,whenselfcomesinthequestion!--IcondemnedinMr.Lovelacethecorruptingofaservantofmyfather's;andnowIamgladtogiveakindofindirectapprobationofthatfault,byinquiringofhimwhathehears,bythatoranyotherway,ofthemannerinwhichmyrelationstookmyflight.Apreconcerted,forward,andartfulflight,itmustundoubtedlyappeartothem.Howgrievousisthattothinkof!yethow,aslongasIamsituated,canIputthemright?

Mostheavily,hesays,theytakeit;butshewnotsomuchgriefasrage.Andhecanhardlyhavepatiencetohearofthevirulenceandmenaces

ofmybrotheragainsthimself.Thenameritismadetomeofhisforbearance.

WhatasatisfactionamIrobbedof,mydearestfriend,whenIreflectuponmyinconsiderateness!OthatIhaditstillinmypowertosayIsufferedwrong,ratherthandidwrong!ThatothersweremorewantingintheirkindnesstomethanIduty(wheredutyisowing)tothem.

Fieuponme!formeetingtheseducer!--Letallendashappilyasitnowmay,Ihavelaidupformyselfremorseformywholelife.

Whatstillmoreconcernsmeis,thateverytimeIseethisman,Iamstillatagreaterlossthanbeforewhattomakeofhim.Iwatchevery

turnofhiscountenance:andIthinkIseeverydeeplinesinit.Helookswithmoremeaning,Iverilythink,thanheusedtolook;yetnotmoreserious;notlessgay--Idon'tknowhowhelooks--butwithmoreconfidenceagreatdealthanformerly;andyetheneverwantedthat.

Buthereisthething;Ibeholdhimwithfearnow,asconsciousofthepowermyindiscretionhasgivenhimoverme.Andwellmayhelookmoreelate,whenheseesmedeprivedofalltheself-supposedsignificance,whichadornsandexultsapersonwhohasbeenaccustomedtorespect;andwhonow,byaconsciousinferiority,allowsherselftobeovercome,andinastateofobligation,asImaysay,toamanwhofromahumblesuitortoherforherfavour,assumestheconsequenceandairsofaprotector.

Ishallsendthis,asmyformer,byapoorman,whotravelseverydaywithpedlarymatters.HewillleaveitatMrs.Knolly's,asyoudirect.

Ifyouhearanythingofmyfatherandmother,andoftheirhealth,andhowmyfriendswereaffectedbymyunhappystep,praybesogoodastowritemeafewlinesbythemessenger,ifhiswaitingforthemcanbeknowntoyou.

Iamafraidtoaskyou,Whether,uponreadingthatpartofmynarrative



alreadyinyourhands,youthinkanysortofextenuationliesfor

YourunhappyCLARISSAHARLOWE?

LETTERVII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAY,WEDN.APRIL11,12.

Youclaimmypromise,thatIwillbeasparticularaspossible,inallthatpassesbetweenmeandmygoddess.Indeed,Ineverhadamoreillustrioussubjecttoexercisemypen.And,moreover,Ihaveleisure;forbyhergoodwill,myaccesswouldbeasdifficulttoher,asthatofthehumblestslavetoanEasternmonarch.Nothing,then,butinclinationtowritecanbewanting;andsinceourfriendship,andyourobligingattendanceuponmeattheWhiteHart,willnotexcusethat,Iwillendeavourtokeepmyword.

Ipartedwiththeeandthybrethren,withafullresolution,thouknowest,torejoinye,ifsheonceagaindisappointedme,inordertogotogether(attendedbyourservants,forshewsake)tothegloomyfather;

anddemandaudienceofthetyrantuponthefreedomstakenwithmycharacter.Inshort,tohavetriedbyfairresolutions,andtreathischarmingdaughterwithlessinhumanity,andmewithmorecivility.

Itoldtheemyreasonsfornotgoinginsearchofaletterofcountermand.Iwasright;forifIhad,Ishouldhavefoundsuchaone;andhadIreceivedit,shewouldnothavemetme.Didshethink,thatafterIhadbeenmorethanoncedisappointed,Iwouldnotkeephertoherpromise;thatIwouldnotholdhertoit,whenIhadgotherinsodeeply?

ThemomentIheardthedoorunbolt,Iwassureofher.Thatmotionmademyheartboundtomythroat.Butwhenthatwasfollowedwiththe

presenceofmycharmer,flashinguponmeallatonceinafloodofbrightness,sweetlydressed,thoughallunpreparedforajourney,Itrodair,andhardlythoughtmyselfamortal.

Thoushaltjudgeofherdress,asatthemomentIfirstbeheldhersheappearedtome,andas,uponanearerobservation,shereallywas.Iamacritic,thouknowest,inwomen'sdresses.ManyaonehaveItaughttodress,andhelpedtoundress.Butthereissuchanativeeleganceinthislady,thatshesurpassesallthatIcouldimaginesurpassing.Butthenherpersonadornswhatshewears,morethandresscanadornher;andthat'sherexcellence.

Expectthereforeafaintsketchofheradmirablepersonwithherdress.

Herwax-likeflesh(forafterall,fleshandbloodIthinksheis)byitsdelicacyandfirmness,answersforthesoundnessofherhealth.Thouhastoftenheardmelaunchoutinpraiseofhercomplexion.Ineverinmylifebeheldaskinssoillustriouslyfair.Thelilyandthedrivensnowitisnonsensetotalkof:herlawnandherlacesonemightindeedcomparetothose;butwhatawhitedwallwouldawomanappeartobe,whohadacomplexionwhichwouldjustifysuchunnaturalcomparisons?Butthisladyisallglowing,allcharmingfleshandblood;yetsoclear,thateverymeandringveinistobeseeninallthelovelypartsofher



whichcustompermitstobevisible.

Thouhasheardmealsodescribethewavyringletsofhershininghair,needingneitherartnorpowder;ofitselfanornament,defyingallotherornaments;wantoninginandaboutaneckthatisbeautifulbeyonddescription.

Herhead-dresswasaBrussels-lacemob,peculiarlyadaptedtothecharmingairandturnofherfeatures.Asky-blueribbandillustratedthat.Butalthoughtheweatherwassomewhatsharp,shehadnotoneitherhatorhood;for,besidesthatshelovestouseherselfhardily(bywhichmeansandbyatemperancetrulyexemplary,sheisallowedtohavegivenhighhealthandvigourtoanoriginallytenderconstitution)sheseemstohaveintendedtoshewme,thatshewasdeterminednottostandtoherappointment.OJack!thatsuchasweetgirlshouldbearogue!

Hermorninggownwasapaleprimrose-colouredpaduasoy:thecuffsandrobinscuriouslyembroideredbythefingersofthisever-charmingArachne,inarunningpatternofvioletsandtheirleaves,thelightintheflowerssilver,goldintheleaves.Apairofdiamondsnapsinherears.Awhitehandkerchiefwroughtbythesameinimitablefingersconcealed--OBelford!whatstillmoreinimitablebeautiesdiditnotconceal!--AndIsaw,allthewaywerode,theboundingheart(byitsthrobbingmotionsIsawit!)dancingbeneathhercharmingumbrage.

Herruffleswerethesameashermob.Herapronafloweredlawn.Hercoatwhitesattin,quilted:bluesattinhershoes,braidedwiththesamecolour,withoutlace;forwhatneedhastheprettiestfootintheworldofornament?neatbucklesinthem:andonhercharmingarmsapairofblackvelvetglove-likemuffsofherowninvention;forshemakesandgivesfashionsasshepleases.--Herhandsvelvetofthemselves,thusuncoveredthefreertobegraspedbythoseofheradorer.

Ihavetoldtheewhatweremytransports,whentheundrawnboltpresentedtomemylong-expectedgoddess.Heremotionsweremoresweetlyfeminine,afterthefirstmoments;forthenthefireofherstarryeyesbegantosinkintoalessdazzlinglanguor.Shetrembled:norknew

shehowtosupporttheagitationsofaheartshehadneverfoundsoungovernable.Shewasevenfainting,whenIclaspedherinmysupportingarms.Whatapreciousmomentthat!Hownear,howsweetlynear,thethrobbingpartners!

Byherdress,Isaw,asIobservedbefore,howunpreparedshewasforajourney;andnotdoubtingherintentiononcemoretodisappointme,Iwouldhavedrawnherafterme.ThenbeganacontentionthemostvehementthateverIhadwithwoman.ItwouldpainthyfriendlyhearttobetoldtheinfinitetroubleIhadwithher.Ibegged,Iprayed;onmyknees,yetinvain,Ibeggedandprayedhertoanswerherownappointment:andhadInothappilyprovidedforsuchastruggle,knowingwhomIhadtodealwith,Ihadcertainlyfailedinmydesign;andascertainlywould

haveaccompaniedherin,withouttheeandthybrethren:andwhoknowswhatmighthavebeentheconsequence?

Butmyhonestagentansweringmysignal,thoughnotquitesosoonasIexpected,inthemannerthouknowestIhadprescribed,Theyarecoming!Theyarecoming!--Fly,fly,mybelovedcreature,criedI,drawingmyswordwithaflourish,asifIwouldhaveslainhalfanhundredofthesupposedintruders;and,seizinghertremblinghands,Idrewheraftermesoswiftly,thatmyfeet,wingedbylove,couldhardlykeeppacewithherfeet,agitatedbyfear.--AndsoIbecameheremperor.



I'lltelltheeall,whenIseethee:andthoushaltthenjudgeofmydifficulties,andofherperverseness.Andthouwiltrejoicewithmeatmyconquestoversuchawatchfulandopen-eyedcharmer.

Butseestthounotnow(asIthinkIdo)thewindoutstrippingfaironeflyingfromherlovetoherlove?Istherenotsuchagame?--Nay,flyingfromherfriendsshewasresolvednottoabandon,tothemanshewasdeterminednottogooffwith?--Thesex!thesex,allover!--Charmingcontradiction!--Hah,hah,hah,hah!--Imusthere--Imusthere,laydownmypen,toholdmysides;forImusthavemylaughoutnowthefitisuponme.

*****

Ibelieve--Ibelieve--Hah,hah,hah!Ibelieve,Jack,mydogsconcludememad:forherehasoneofthempoptin,asiftoseewhatailedme,orwhomIhadwithme.Hah,hah,hah!Animpudentdog!OJack,knewestthoumyconceit,andwerebutthylaughjoinedtomine,Ibelieveitwouldholdmeforanhourlonger.

But,Omybestbelovedfairone,repinenotthouattheartsbywhich

thoususpectestthyfruitlessvigilencehasbeenoverwatched.Takecare,thatthouprovokestnotnewones,thatmaybestillmoreworthyofthee.Ifoncethyemperordecreesthyfall,thoushaltgreatlyfall.Thoushalthavecause,ifthatcometopass,whichmaycometopass(forwhywouldstthouputoffmarriagetosolongaday,astillthouhadstreasontobeconvincedofmyreformation,dearest?)thoushalthavecause,neverfear,tositdownmoredissatisfiedwiththestars,thanwiththyself.Andcometheworsttotheworst,glorioustermswillIgivethee.Thygarrison,withgeneralPrudenceatthehead,andgovernorWatchfulnessbringinguptherear,shallbeallowedtomarchoutwithallthehonoursduetosobravearesistance.Andallthysex,andallmine,thathearofmystratagems,andofthyconduct,shallacknowledgethefortressasnoblywonasdefended.

'Thouwiltnotdare,methinksIheartheesay,toattempttoreducesuchagoddessasthis,toastandardunworthyofherexcellencies.Itisimpossible,Lovelace,thatthoushouldstintenttobreakthroughoathsandprotestationssosolemn.'

ThatIdidnotintendit,iscertain.ThatIdointendit,Icannot(myheart,myreverenceforher,willnotletme)say.Butknowestthounotmyaversiontothestateofshackles?--AndisshenotINMYPOWER?

'Andwiltthou,Lovelace,abusethatpowerwhich--'

Whichwhat,Belford?WhichIobtainednotbyherownconsent,but

againstit.

'Butwhichthouneverhadstobtained,hadshenotesteemedtheeaboveallmen.'

AndwhichIhadnevertakensomuchpainstoobtain,hadInotlovedheraboveallwomen.Sofaruponapar,Jack!andifthoupleadesthonour,oughtnothonourtobemutual?Ifmutual,doesitnotimplymutualtrust,mutualconfidence?AndwhathaveIhadofthatfromhertoboastof?--Thouknowestthewholeprogressofourwarfare:forawarfareit



hastrulybeen;andfar,veryfar,fromanamorouswarfaretoo.Doubts,mistrusts,upbraidings,onherpart;humiliationsthemostabject,onmine.Obligedtoassumesuchairsofreformation,thateveryvarletofyehasbeenafraidIshouldreclaimingoodearnest.Andhastthounotthyselffrequentlyobservedtome,howawkwardlyIreturnedtomyusualgayety,afterIhadbeenwithinamileofherfather'sgarden-wall,althoughIhadnotseenher?

Doesshenotdeservetopayforallthis?--Tomakeanhonestfellowlooklikeanhypocrite,whatavilethingisthat!

Thenthouknowestwhatafalselittlerogueshehasbeen.Howlittleconscienceshehasmadeofdisappointingme.Hastthounotbeenawitnessofmyravingsonthisscore?HaveInot,intheheightofthem,vowedrevengeuponthefaithlesscharmer?AndifImustbeforsworn,whetherIanswerherexpectations,orfollowmyowninclinations;andiftheoptionbeinmyownpower,canIhesitateamomentwhichtochoose?

Then,Ifancybyhercircumspection,andhercontinualgrief,thatsheexpectssomemischieffromme.Idon'tcaretodisappointanybodyIhaveavaluefor.

ButOthenoble,theexaltedcreature!Whocanavoidhesitatingwhenhethinksofanoffenceagainsther?Whocanbutpity--

Yet,ontheotherhand,solothatlasttoventure,thoughthreatenedtobeforcedintothenuptialfetterswithaman,whomtolookuponasarival,istodisgracemyself!--Sosullen,nowshehasventured!--Whattitlehasshetopity;andtoapitywhichherpridewouldmakeherdisclaim?

ButIresolvenotanyway.Iwillseehowherwillworks;andhowmywillleadsmeon.Iwillgivethecombatantsfairplay,andyet,everytimeIattendher,Ifindthatsheislessinmypower;Imoreinhers.

Yet,afoolishlittlerogue!toforbidmetothinkofmarriagetillIamareformedman!Tilltheimplacablesofherfamilychangetheirnatures,

andbecomeplacable!

Itistrue,whenshewasformakingthoseconditions,shedidnotthink,thatwithoutany,sheshouldbecheatedoutofherself;forsothedearsoul,asImaytelltheeinitsplace,phrasesit.

Howitswellsmypride,tohavebeenabletooutwitsuchavigilantcharmer!IamtallerbyhalfayardinmyimaginationthanIwas.Ilookdownuponeverybodynow.LastnightIwasstillmoreextravagant.Itookoffmyhat,asIwalked,toseeifthelacewerenotscorched,supposingithadbrusheddownastar;and,beforeIputitonagain,inmerewantonnessandheart'sease,Iwasforbuffetingthemoon.

Inshort,mywholesoulisjoy.WhenIgotobedIlaughmyselfasleep;andIawakeeitherlaughingorsinging--yetnothingnearlyinview,neither--Forwhy?--Iamnotyetreformedenough!

Itoldtheeatthetime,ifthourememberest,howcapablethisrestrictionwasofbeingturnedupontheover-scrupulousdearcreature,couldIoncegetheroutofherfather'shouse;andwereIdisposedtopunishherforherfamily'sfaults,andfortheinfinitetroublesheherselfhadgivenme.Littlethinksshe,thatIhavekeptanaccountofboth:andthat,whenmyheartissoft,andallherown,Icanbutturn



tomymemoranda,andhardenmyselfatonce.

Omycharmer,looktoit!Abateofthyhaughtyairs!Valuenotthyselfuponthysincerity,ifthouartindifferenttome!Iwillnotbearitnow.ArtthounotinmyPOWER!--Nor,ifthoulovestme,think,thatthefemaleaffectationofdenyingthylove,willavailtheenow,withaheartsoproudandsojealousasmine?--Remember,moreover,thatallthyfamilysinsareuponthyhead--!

Butah!Jack,whenIseemyangel,whenIamadmittedtothepresenceofthisradiantbeauty,whatwillbecomeofallthisvapouring?

But,bemyendwhatitmay,Iamobliged,bythypenetration,fairone,toproceedbythesap.Fairandsoftly.Awifeatanytime!Marriagewillbealwaysinmypower.

Whenputtotheuniversity,thesamecourseofinitialstudieswillqualifytheyonkerfortheonelineortheother.Thegeniusoughttopointoutthefuturelawyer,divine,orphysician!--Sothesamecautiousconduct,withsuchavigilance,willdoeitherforthewife,orfortheno-wife.WhenIreform,I'llmarry.'Tistimeenoughfortheone,theladymustsay--fortheother,sayI!

ButhowIramble!--Thisistobeinsuchasituation,thatIknownot

whattoresolveupon.

I'lltelltheemyinclinings,asIproceed.Thepro'sandthecon'sI'lltellthee:butbeinggottoofarfromthetrackIsetoutin,Iwillclosehere.Imay,however,writeeverydaysomething,andsenditasopportunityoffers.

Regardless,nevertheless,IshallbeinallIwrite,ofconnection,accuracy,orofanythingbutofmyownimperialwillandpleasure.

LETTERVIII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEWEDNESDAYNIGHT,APRIL12.

Ihaveyournarrative,mydear.Youarethesamenoblecreatureyoueverwere.Abovedisguise,aboveart,aboveattemptingtoextenuateafailing.

Theonlyfamilyintheworld,yours,surely,thatcouldhavedrivensuchadaughteruponsuchextremities.

Butyoumustnotbesoverymuchtoogoodforthem,andforthecase.

Youlaytheblamesoproperlyandsounsparinglyuponyourmeetinghim,thatnothingcanbeaddedtothatsubjectbyyourworstenemies,weretheytoseewhatyouhavewritten.

Iamnotsurprised,nowIhavereadyournarrative,thatsoboldandsocontrivingaman--Iamforcedtobreakoff----

*****



Youstooditoutmuchbetterandlonger--Hereagaincomesmybustling,jealousmother!

*****

Don'tbeangryatyourself.Didyounotdoforthebestatthetime?Astoyourfirstfault,theansweringhisletters;itwasalwaysincumbentuponyoutoassumetheguardianshipofsuchafamily,whenthebravoofithadrunriot,ashedid,andbroughthimselfintodanger.

Exceptyourmother,whohasnowillofherown,haveanyofthemcommonsense?

Forgiveme,mydear--HereisthatstupiduncleAntonyofyours.Apragmatical,conceitedpositive.--Hecameyesterday,inafearfulpucker,andpuffed,andblowed,andstumpedaboutourhallandparlour,whilehismessagewascarriedup.

Mymotherwasdressing.Thesewidowsareasstarchedastheoldbachelors.Shewouldnotseehiminadishabillefortheworld--Whatcan

shemeanbyit?

Hiserrandwastosetheragainstyou,andtoshewhertheirdeterminedrageonyourgoingaway.Theissueprovedtooevidentlythatthiswastheprincipalendofhisvisit.

Theoddcreaturedesiredtospeakwithheralone.Iamnotusedtosuchexceptionswheneveranyvisitsaremadetomymother.

Whenshewasprimedout,downshecametohim.Theylockedthemselvesin.Thetwopositiveheadswereputtogether--closetogetherIsuppose;forIlistened,butcouldhearnothingdistinctly,thoughtheybothseemedfulloftheirsubject.

Ihadagoodmind,onceortwice,tohavemadethemopenthedoor.CouldIhavebeensureofkeepingbuttolerablymytemper,Iwouldhavedemandedadmittance.ButIwasafraid,ifIhadobtainedit,thatIshouldhaveforgotitwasmymother'shouse,andbeenforturninghimoutofit.Tocometoraveagainstandabusemydearest,dearest,faultlessfriend!andtheravingstobeencouraged,andperhapsjoinedin,inordertojustifythemselves;theoneforcontributingtodrivethatdearfriendoutofherfather'shouse;theotherforrefusingheratemporaryasylum,tillthereconciliationcouldhavebeeneffected,whichherdutifulheartwassetupon;andwhichitwouldhavebecomethelovewhichmymotherhadeverpretendedforyou,tohavemediatedfor--CouldIhavehadpatience!

Theissue,asIsaid,shewedwhattheerrandwas--Itsfustyappearance,aftertheoldfustyfellowwasmarchedoff,[youmustexcuseme,mydear,]wasinakindofgloomy,Harlowe-likereservednessinmymother;whichuponafewresentingflirtsofmine,wasfollowedbyarigorousprohibitionofcorrespondence.

Thisputus,youmaysuppose,upontermsnotthemostagreeable,Idesiredtoknow,ifIwereprohibiteddreamingofyou?--For,mydear,youhaveallmysleepingaswellaswakinghours.



Icaneasilyallowforyourcorrespondencewithyourwretchatfirst(andyetyournotionswereexcellent)bytheeffectthisprohibitionhasuponme;since,ifpossible,ithasmademeloveyoubetterthanbefore;andIammoredesirousthaneverofcorrespondingwithyou.

ButIhaveneverthelessamuchmorelaudablemotive--Ishouldthinkmyselftheunworthiestofcreatures,couldIbebroughttoslightadearfriend,andsuchameritoriousone,inherdistress.Iwoulddiefirst--AndsoItoldmymother.AndIhavedesiredhernottowatchmeinmyretiredhours;nortoinsistuponmylyingwithherconstantly,whichshenowdoesmoreearnestlythanever.'Twerebetter,Itoldher,thattheHarlowe-Bettywereborrowedtobesetoverme.

Mr.Hickman,whosogreatlyhonoursyou,has,unknowntome,interposedsowarmlyinyourfavourwithmymother,thatitmakesforhimnosmallmeritwithme.

Icannot,atpresent,writetoeveryparticular,unlessIwouldbeinsetdefiance.Tease,tease,tease,forever!Thesamething,thoughansweredfiftytimesover,ineveryhourtoberepeated--Lordblessme!whatalifemustmypoorfather--ButletmeremembertowhomIamwriting.

Ifthisever-active,ever-mischievousmonkeyofaman,thisLovelace,contrivedasyoususpect--Butherecomesmymotheragain--Ay,stayalittlelonger,myMamma,ifyouplease--Icanbutbesuspected!Icanbutbechiddenformakingyouwait;andchiddenIamsuretobe,whetherIdoornot,inthewayyou,mygoodMamma,areAntony'dinto.

Blessme!howimpatientsheis!Howshethundersatthedoor!Thismoment,Madam!HowcameItodouble-lockmyselfif!WhathaveIdonewiththekey!Ducetakethekey!DearMadam!Youflutteroneso!

*****

Youmaybelieve,mydear,thatItookcareofmypapersbeforeIopenedthedoor.Wehavehadacharmingdialogue--Sheflungfrommeinapassion--

So--What'snowtobedone?Sentfordowninaveryperemptorymanner,Iassureyou.Whatanincoherentletterwillyouhave,whenIgetittoyou!ButnowIknowwheretosendit,Mr.Hickmanshallfindmeamessenger.Yet,ifhebedetected,poorsoul,hewillbeHarlowed-off,aswellashismeekmistress.

THURSDAY,APRIL13.

Ihavethismomentyourcontinuation-letter.Andamfavoured,atpresent,withtheabsenceofmyArgus-eyesmother.--

Dearcreature!Icanaccountforallyourdifficulties.Ayoungladyofyourdelicacy!--Andwithsuchaman!--Imustbebrief----

Theman'safool,mydear,withallhispride,andwithallhiscomplaisance,andaffectedregardstoyourinjunctions.Yethisreadyinventions----



SometimesIthinkyoushouldgotoLadyBetty's.Iknownotwhattoadviseyoutodo.--Ishould,ifyouwerenotsointentuponreconcilingyourselftoyourrelations.Yettheyareimplacable.Youcanhavenohopesofthem.Youruncle'serrandtomymothermayconvinceyouofthat;adifyouhaveananswertoyourlettertoyoursister,thatwillconfirmyou,Idaresay.

Youneednottohavebeenafraidofaskingme,Whetheruponreadingyournarrative,Ithoughtanyextenuationcouldlieforwhatyouhavedone!Ihave,asabove,beforeIhadyourquestion,toldyoumymindastothat.AndIrepeat,Ithink,yourprovocationsandinducementsconsidered,thateveryoungcreaturewaswhotooksuchastep.

Butyoutookitnot--Youweredrivenononeside,and,possibly,trickedontheother.--Ifanywomanonearthshallbecircumstancedasyouwere,andshallholdoutsolongasyoudid,againstherpersecutorsononehand,andherseducerontheother,Iwillforgiveherforalltherestofherconduct,beitwhatitwill.

Allyouracquaintance,youmaysuppose,talkofnobodybutyou.Someindeedbringyouradmirablecharacterforapleaagainstyou:butnobodydoes,orcan,acquityourfatheranduncles.

Everybodyseemsapprizedofyourbrother'sandsister'smotives.Yourflightis,nodoubt,theverythingtheyaimedtodriveyouto,bythevariousattackstheymadeuponyou;unhoping(astheymustdoallthetime)thesuccessoftheirschemesinSolmes'sbehalf.Theyknew,thatifonceyouwererestoredtofavour,thesuspendedloveofyourfatheranduncles,likeariverbreakingdownatemporaryobstruction,wouldreturnwithdoubleforce;andthatthenyouwouldexpose,andtriumphoveralltheirarts.--Andnow,Iheartheyenjoytheirsuccessfulmalice.

Yourfatherisallrageandviolence.Heought,Iamsure,toturnhisrageinward.Allyourfamilyaccuseyouofactingwithdeepart;andareputuponsupposingthatyouareactuallyeveryhourexultingoverthem,

withyourman,inthesuccessofit.

Theyallpretendnow,thatyourtrialofWednesdaywastobethelast.

Advantagewouldindeed,mymotherowns,havebeentakenofyouryielding,ifyouhadyielded.Buthadyounotbeenprevailedupon,theywouldhavegivenuptheirscheme,andtakenyourpromiseforrenouncingLovelace--Believethemwhowill!

Theyown,however,thataministerwastobepresent--Mr.Solmeswastobeathand--Andyourfatherwaspreviouslytotryhisauthorityoveryou,inordertomakeyousignthesettlements--Allofitaromanticcontrivanceofyourwild-headedfoolishbrother,Imakenodoubt.It

islikelythatheandBellwouldhavegivenwaytoyourrestorationtofavour,supposingitintheirpowertohinderit,onanyothertermsthanthosetheirheartshadbeensolongsetupon?

Howtheytookyourflight,whentheyfounditout,maybebettersupposedthandescribed.

YourauntHervey,itseems,wasthefirstthatwentdowntotheivysummer-house,inordertoacquaintyouthattheirsearchwasover.Bettyfollowedher;andtheynotfindingyouthere,wentontowardsthe



cascade,accordingtoahintofyours.

Returningbythegarden-door,theymetaservant[theydon'tsay,itwasJosephLeman;butitisverylikelythatitwashe]running,ashesaid,frompursuingMr.Lovelace(agreathedge-stakeinhishand,andoutofbreath)toalarmthefamily.

Ifitwerethisfellow,andifhewereemployedinthedoubleagencyofcheatingthem,andcheatingyou,whatshallwethinkofthewretchyouarewith?Runawayfromhim,mydear,ifso--nomattertowhom--ormarryhim,ifyoucannot.

Yourauntandallyourfamilywereaccordinglyalarmedbythisfellow--evidentlywhentoolateforpursuit.Theygottogether,andwhenaposse,rantotheplaceofinterview;andsomeofthemasfarastothetracksofthechariotwheels,withoutstopping.Andhavingheardtheman'staleuponthespot,agenerallamentation,amutualupbraiding,andrage,andgrief,wereechoedfromthedifferentpersons,accordingtotheirdifferenttempersandconceptions.Andtheyreturnedlikefoolsastheywent.

Yourbrother,atfirst,orderedhorsesandarmedmentobegotreadyforapursuit.SolmesandyouruncleTonyweretobeoftheparty.ButyourmotherandyourauntHerveydissuadedthemfromit,forfearofadding

eviltoevil;notdoubtingbutLovelacehadtakenmeasurestosupporthimselfinwhathehaddone;andespeciallywhentheservantdeclared,thathesawyourunwithhimasfastasyoucouldsetfoottotheground;andthattherewereseveralarmedmenonhorsebackatasmalldistanceoff.

*****

Mymother'sabsencewasowingtohersuspicion,thattheKnolly'sweretoassistinourcorrespondence.Shemadethemavisituponit.Shedoeseverythingatonce.Andtheyhavepromised,thatnomorelettersshall

beleftthere,withoutherknowledge.

ButMr.HickmanhasengagedoneFilmer,ahusbandmaninthelanewecallFinch-lane,nearus,toreceivethem.Thitheryouwillbepleasedtodirectyours,undercover,toMr.JohnSoberton;andMr.Hickmanhimselfwillcallforthemthere;andthereshallleavemine.Itgoesagainstmetoo,tomakehimsousefultome.Helooksalreadysoprouduponit!Ishallhavehim[Whoknows?]givehimselfairs--Hehadbestconsider,thatthefavourhehasbeenlongaimingat,mayputhimintoaverydangerous,averyticklishsituation.Hethatcanoblige,maydisoblige--Happyforsomepeoplenottohaveitintheirpowertooffend!

Iwillhavepatience,ifIcan,forawhile,toseeifthesebustlingsinmymotherwillsubside--butuponmyword,Iwillnotlongbearthisusage.

SometimesIamreadytothink,thatmymothercarriesitthusonpurposetotiremeout,andtomakemethesoonermarry.IfIfindittobeso,andthatHickman,inordertomakeameritwithme,isinthelowplot,Iwillneverbearhiminmysight.

Plottingwretch,asIdoubtyourmanis,Iwishtoheaventhatyou



weremarried,thatyoumightbravethemall,andnotbeforcedtohideyourself,andbehurriedfromoneinconvenientplacetoanother.Ichargeyou,omitnottolayholdonanyhandsomeopportunitythatmayofferforthatpurpose.

Hereagaincomesmymother--

*****

Welookmightyglumuponeachother,Icantellyou.ShehadnotbestHarlowemeatthisrate--Iwon'tbearit.

Ihaveavastdealtowrite.Iknownotwhattowritefirst.Yetmymindisfull,andreadytorunover.

Iamgotintoaprivatecornerofthegarden,tobeoutofherway.--Lordhelpthesemothers!--Dotheythinktheycanpreventadaughter'swriting,ordoinganythingshehasamindtodo,bysuspicion,watchfulness,andscolding?--Theyhadbetterplaceaconfidenceinonebyhalf--Agenerousmindscornstoabuseagenerousconfidence.

Youhaveanice,averyniceparttoactwiththiswretch--whoyethas,Ithink,butoneplainpathbeforehim.Ipityyou--butyoumustmakethebestofthelotyouhavebeenforcedtodraw.YetIseeyourdifficulties.--But,ifhedonotoffertoabuseyourconfidence,Iwouldhaveyouseematleasttoplacesomeinhim.

Ifyouthinknotofmarryingsoon,Iapproveofyourresolutiontofixsomewhereoutofhisreach.Andifheknownotwheretofindyou,somuchthebetter.YetIverilybelieve,theywouldforceyouback,couldtheybutcomeatyou,iftheywerenotafraidofhim.

Ithink,byallmeans,youshoulddemandofbothyourtrusteestobeputinpossessionofyourownestate.MeantimeIhavesixtyguineasatyour

service.Ibegyouwillcommandthem.Beforetheyaregone,I'lltakecareyoushallbefurthersupplied.Idon'tthinkyou'llhaveashillingorashilling'sworthofyourownfromyourrelations,unlessyouextortitfromthem.

Astheybelieveyouwentawaybyyourownconsent,theyare,itseems,equallysurprisedandgladthatyouhaveleftyourjewelsandmoneybehindyou,andhavecontrivedforclothessoill.Verylittlelikelihoodthisshewsoftheiransweringyourrequests.

IndeedeveryonewhoknowsnotwhatInowknow,mustbeatalosstoaccountforyourflight,astheywillcallit.Andhow,mydear,canonereportitwithanytolerableadvantagetoyou?--Tosay,youdidnot

intenditwhenyoumethim,whowillbelieveit?--Tosay,thatapersonofyourknownsteadinessandpunctiliowasover-persuadedwhenyougavehimthemeeting,howwillthatsound?--Tosay,youweretrickedoutofyourself,andpeopleweregivencredittoit,howdisreputable!--Andwhileunmarried,andyetwithhim,themanamanofsuchacharacter,whatwoulditnotleadacensuringworldtothink?

Iwanttoseehowyouputitinyourletterforyourclothes.

Asyoumaydependuponallthelittlespitefulthingstheycanoffer,



insteadofsendingwhatyouwritefor,prayacceptthesumthatItender.Whatwillseenguineasdo?--AndIwillfindawaytosendyoualsoanyofmyclothesandlinenforpresentsupply.Ibeg,mydearClarissa,thatyouwillnotputyourAnnaHoweuponafootingwithLovelace,inrefusingtoacceptofmyoffer.Ifyoudonotobligeme,Ishallbeapttothinkyouratherinclinetobeobligedtohim,thantofavourme.AndifIfindthis,Ishallnotknowhowtoreconcileitwithyourdelicacyinotherrespects.

Prayinformmeofeverythingthatpassesbetweenyouandhim.Mycaresforyou(howeverneedless,fromyourownprudence)makemewishyoutocontinuetobeeveryminute.IfanythingoccurthatyouwouldtellmeofifIwerepresent,failnottoputitdowninwriting,althoughfromyournaturaldiffidence,itshouldnotappeartoyoualtogethersoworthyofyourpen,ormyknowing.Astander-bymayseemoreofthegamethanonethatplays.Greatconsequences,likegreatfolks,generallyowetheirgreatnesstosmallcauses,andlittleincidents.

Uponthewhole,Idonotnowthinkitisinyourpowertodismisshimwhenyouplease.Iapprizedyoubeforehand,thatitwouldnot.Irepeat,therefore,thatwereIyou,Iwouldatleastseemtoplacesomeconfidenceinhim.Solongasheisdecent,youmay.Veryvisiblyobservable,tosuchdelicacyasyours,mustbethatbehaviourinhim,whichwillmakehimunworthyofsomeconfidence.

Yourrelations,accordingtowhatoldAntonysaystomymother,andshetome,(bywayofthreatening,thatyouwillnotgainyoursupposedendsuponthembyyourflight,)seemtoexpectthatyouwillthrowyourselfintoLadyBetty'sprotection;andthatshewilloffertomediateforyou.Andtheyvow,thattheywillneverhearkentoanytermsofaccommodationthatshallcomefromthatquarter;forIdareaver,thatyourbrotherandsisterwillnotletthemcool--atleast,tilltheiruncleshavemadesuchdispositions,andperhapsyourfathertoo,astheywouldhavethemmake.

Asthisletterwillapprizeyouofanalterationintheplacetowhichyoumustdirectyournext,IsenditbyafriendofMr.Hickman,whomay

bedependedupon.HehasbusinessintheneighbourhoodofMrs.Sorlings;andheknowsher.HewillreturntoMr.Hickmanthisnight;andbringbackanyletteryoushallhavereadytosend,orcangetready.Itismoon-light.He'llnotmindwaitingforyou.IchoosenottosendbyanyofMr.Hickman'sservants--atpresent,however.Everyhourisnow,ormaybe,important;andmaymakeanalterationinyourresolutionsnecessary.

Ihearatthisinstant,mymothercallingabouther,andputtingeverybodyintomotion.Shewillsoon,Isuppose,makemeandmyemploymentthesubjectsofherinquiry.

Adieu,mydear.Mayheavenpreserveyou,andrestoreyouwithhonouras

unsulliedasyourmindto


LETTERIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYAFTERNOON,APRIL13.



Iaminfinitelyconcerned,myeverdearandeverkindfriend,thatIamthesadoccasionofthedispleasurebetweenyourmotherandyou.--HowmanypersonshaveImadeunhappy.

HadInottoconsolemyself,thatmyerrorisnotowingtowickedprecipitation,Ishouldbethemostmiserableofallcreatures.Asitis,Iamenoughpunishedinthelossofmycharacter,morevaluabletomethanmylife;andinthecrueldoubtsandperplexitieswhich,conflictingwithmyhopes,andeachgettingthevictorybyturns,harrowupmysoulbetweenthem.

Ithink,however,thatyoushouldobeyyourmother,anddeclineacorrespondencewithme;atleastforthepresent.Takecarehowyoufallintomyerror;forthatbegunwithcarryingonaprohibitedcorrespondence;acorrespondencewhichIthoughtitinmypowertodiscontinueatpleasure.Mytalentisscribbling;andIthereadierfellintothisfreedom,asIfounddelightinwriting;havingmotivestoo,whichIthoughtlaudable;and,atonetime,thepermissionofallmyfriends;towritetohim.*

*SeeVol.I.LetterIII.

Yet,astothiscorrespondence,Whathurtcouldarisefromit,ifyourmothercouldbeprevailedupontopermitittobecontinued?--Somuchprudenceanddiscretionasyouhave;andyou,inwritingtome,lyingundernotemptationoffollowingsobadanexampleasIhaveset--myletterstoooccasionallyfilledwithself-accusation.

Ithankyou,mydear,mostcordiallyIthankyou,foryourkindoffers.Youmaybeassured,thatIwillsoonerbebeholdentoyou,thantoanybodyliving.ToMr.Lovelacethelast.Donotthereforethink,thatbydecliningyourfavours,Ihaveanintentiontolaymyselfunderobligationstohim.

Iamwillingtohope(notwithstandingwhatyouwrite)thatmyfriendswillsendmemylittlemoney,togetherwithmyclothes.Theyaretooconsiderate,someofthematleast,topermitthatIshouldbeputtosuchlowdifficulties.Perhaps,theywillnotbeinhastetoobligeme.But,ifnot,Icannotyetwant.Ibelieveyouthink,ImustnotdisputewithMr.Lovelacetheexpensesoftheroadandlodgings,tillIcangetafixedabode.ButIhopesoontoputanendeventothosesmallsortofobligations.

Smallhopesindeedofareconciliationfromyouraccountofmyuncle'svisittoyourmother,inordertosetheragainstanalmostfriendlesscreaturewhomonceheloved!Butisitnotmydutytotryforit?

OughtItowidenmyerrorbyobstinacyandresentment,becauseoftheirresentment;whichmustappearreasonabletothem,astheysupposemyflightpremeditated;andastheyaremadetobelieve,thatIamcapableoftriumphinginit,andoverthem,withthemantheyhate?WhenIhavedoneallinmypowertorestoremyselftotheirfavour,Ishallhavethelesstoreproachmyselfwith.

Theseconsiderationsmakemewaveraboutfollowingyouradvice,inrelationtomarriage;andtherather,asheissofullofcomplaisancewithregardtomyformerconditions,whichhecallsmyinjunctions.



NorcanInow,thatmyfriends,asyouinformme,havesostrenuouslydeclaredagainstacceptingofthemediationoftheladiesofMr.Lovelace'sfamily,putmyselfintotheirprotection,unlessIamresolvedtogiveupallhopesofareconciliationwithmyown.

Yetifanyhappyintroductioncouldbethoughtoftoeffectthisdesirablepurpose,howshalltermsbeproposedtomyfather,whilethismaniswithme,ornearme?Ontheotherhand,shouldtheyinhisabsencegetmebackbyforce,(andthis,youareofopinion,theywouldattempttodo,butinfearofhim,)howwilltheirseverestactsofcompulsionbejustifiedbymyflightfromthem!--Meanwhile,towhatcensures,asyouremindme,doIexposemyself,whileheandIaretogetherandunmarried!--Yet[canIwithpatienceaskthequestion?]Isitinmypower?--OmydearMissHowe!AndamIsoreduced,asthat,tosavethepoorremainsofmyreputationintheworld'seye,Imustwatchthegraciousmotionfromthisman'slips?

WeremycousinMordeninEngland,allmightstillperhapsbedeterminedhappily.

Ifnoothermediationthanthiscanbeprocuredtosetonfootthewished-forreconciliation,andifmysituationwithMr.Lovelacealternotintheinterim,Imustendeavourtokeepmyselfinastateofindependencetillhearrive,thatImaybeatlibertytogovernmyself

byhisadviceanddirection.

Iwillacquaintyou,asyoudesire,withallthatpassesbetweenMr.Lovelaceandme.HithertoIhavenotdiscoveredanythinginhisbehaviourthatisveryexceptionable.YetIcannotsay,thatIthinktherespectheshewsme,aneasy,unrestrained,andnaturalrespect,althoughIcanhardlytellwherethefaultis.

Buthehasdoubtlessanarrogantandencroachingspirit.Norishesopoliteashiseducation,andotheradvantages,mighthavemadeoneexpecthimtobe.Heseems,inshort,tobeone,whohasalwayshadtoomuchofhisownwilltostudytoaccommodatehimselftothatofothers.

Astotheplacingofsomeconfidenceinhim,Ishallbeasreadytotakeyouradviceinthisparticular,asinallothers,andashewillbetodeserveit.ButtrickedawayasIwasbyhim,notonlyagainstmyjudgment,butmyinclination,canhe,oranybody,expect,thatIshouldimmediatelytreathimwithcomplaisance,asifIacknowledgedobligationtohimforcarryingmeaway?--IfIdid,musthenoteitherthinkheaviledissemblerbeforehegainedthatpoint,orafterwards?

Indeed,indeed,mydear,Icouldtearmyhair,onreconsideringwhatyouwrite(astotheprobabilitythatthedreadedWednesdaywasmoredreadedthanitneededtobe)tothink,thatIshouldbethustrickedbythisman;andthat,inalllikelihood,throughhisvileagentJosephLeman.Sopremeditatedandelaborateawickednessasitmustbe!--MustI

not,withsuchaman,bewantingtomyself,ifIwerenotjealousandvigilant?--Yetwhatalifetoliveforaspiritsoopen,andnaturallysounsuspicious,asmine?

IamobligedtoMr.Hickmanfortheassistanceheissokindlyreadytogivetoourcorrespondence.Heissolittlelikelytomaketohimselfanadditionalmeritwiththedaughteruponit,thatIshallbeverysorry,ifheriskanythingwiththemotherbyit.

Iamnowinastateofobligation:somustrestsatisfiedwithwhatever



Icannothelp.WhomhaveIthepower,oncesoprecioustome,ofobliging?--WhatImean,mydear,is,thatIought,perhaps,toexpect,thatmyinfluencesoveryouareweakenedbymyindiscretion.Nevertheless,Iwillnot,ifIcanhelpit,desertmyself,norgiveuptheprivilegeyouusedtoallowme,oftellingyouwhatIthinkofsuchpartsofyourconductasImaynotapprove.

Youmustpermitmetherefore,severeasyourmotherisagainstanundesigningoffender,tosaythatIthinkyourlivelinesstoherinexcusable--topassover,forthistime,whatneverthelessconcernsmenotalittle,thefreetreatmentyoualmostindiscriminatelygivetomyrelations.

Ifyouwillnot,foryourduty'ssake,forbearyourtauntingsandimpatience,letmebeseechyou,thatyouwillformine.--Sinceotherwise,yourmothermayapprehendthatmyexample,likealeaven,isworkingitselfintothemindofherbeloveddaughter.Andmaynotsuchanapprehensiongiveheranirreconcilabledispleasureagainstme?

Ienclosethecopyofmylettertomysister,whichyouaredesiroustosee.Youwillobserve,thatalthoughIhavenotdemandedmyestateinform,andofmytrustees,yetthatIhavehintedatleavetoretiretoit.HowjoyfullywouldIkeepmyword,iftheywouldacceptoftheofferIrenew!--Itwasnotproper,Ibelieveyouwillthink,onmanyaccounts,

toownthatIwascarriedoffagainstmyinclination.Iam,mydearestfriend,

Youreverobligedandaffectionate,CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERX

TOMISSARABELLAHARLOWE[ENCLOSEDTOMISSHOWEINTHEPRECEDING.]ST.ALBAN'S,APR.11.

MYDEARSISTER,

Ihave,Iconfess,beenguiltyofanactionwhichcarrieswithitarashandundutifulappearance.AndIshouldhavethoughtitaninexcusableone,hadIbeenusedwithlessseveritythanIhavebeenoflate;andhadInothadtoogreatreasontoapprehend,thatIwastobemadeasacrificetoamanIcouldnotbeartothinkof.Butwhatisdone,isdone--perhapsIcouldwishithadnot;andthatIhadtrustedtotherelentingofmydearandhonourableparents.--Yetthisfromnoothermotivesbutthoseofdutytothem.--TowhomIamreadytoreturn(ifImaynotbepermittedtoretiretoTheGrove)onconditionswhichIbeforeofferedtocomplywith.

NorshallIbeinanysortofdependenceuponthepersonbywhosemeansIhavetakenthistruly-reluctantstep,inconsistentwithanyreasonableengagementIshallenterinto,ifIamnotfurtherprecipitated.Letmenothaveittosay,nowatthisimportantcrisis!thatIhaveasister,butnotafriendinthatsister.Myreputation,dearertomethanlife,(whateveryoumayimaginefromthestepIhavetaken,)issuffering.Alittlelenitywill,evenyet,inagreatmeasure,restoreit,andmakethatpassforatemporarymisunderstandingonly,whichotherwisewillbeastainasdurableaslife,uponacreaturewhohasalreadybeentreated



withgreatunkindness,tousenoharsheraword.

Foryourownsaketherefore,formybrother'ssake,bywhom(Imustsay)Ihavebeenthusprecipitated,andforallthefamily'ssake,aggravatenotmyfault,if,onrecollectingeverything,youthinkitone;norbywideningtheunhappydifference,exposeasisterforever--prays

YouraffectionateCL.HARLOWE.

Ishalltakeitforaverygreatfavourtohavemyclothesdirectlysentme,togetherwithfiftyguineas,whichyouwillfindinmyescritoire(ofwhichIenclosethekey);asalsoofthedivinityandmiscellanyclassesofmylittlelibrary;and,ifitbethoughtfit,myjewels--directedforme,tobelefttillcalledfor,atMr.Osgood's,nearSoho-square.

LETTERXI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.

Mr.Lovelace,incontinuationofhislastletter,(No.VII.)givesanaccounttohisfriend(prettymuchtothesameeffectwiththelady's)ofallthatpassedbetweenthemattheinns,inthejourney,andtilltheirfixingatMrs.Sorling's;toavoidrepetition,thosepassagesinhisnarrativeareextracted,whichwillservetoembellishher's;toopenhisviews;ortodisplaythehumouroustalenthewasnotedfor.

AttheiralightingattheinnatSt.Alban'sonMondaynight,thushewrites:

Thepeoplewhocameaboutus,aswealighted,seemedbytheirjaw-fallenfaces,andgogglingeyes,towonderatbeholdingacharmingyounglady,majestyinherairandaspect,socomposedlydressed,yetwithfeaturessodiscomposed,comeoffajourneywhichmadethecattlesmoke,andtheservantssweat.Ireadtheircuriosityintheirfaces,andmybeloved'suneasinessinher's.Shecastaconsciousglance,asshealighted,uponherhabit,whichwasnohabit;andrepulsively,asImaysay,quittingmyassistinghand,hurriedintothehouse.*****

Ovidwasnotagreatermasterofmetamorphosesthanthyfriend.TothemistressofthehouseIinstantlychangedherintoasister,broughtoffbysurprisefromanearrelation's,(whereshehadwintered,)topreventhermarryingaconfoundedrake,[Ilovealwaystogoasnearthetruth

asIcan,]whomherfatherandmother,hereldersister,andallherlovinguncles,aunts,andcousinsabhorred.Thisaccountedformycharmer'sexpectedsullens;forherdispleasurewhenshewastojoinmeagain,wereittohold;forherunsuitabledressupontheroad;and,atthesametime,gaveheraproperandseasonableassuranceofmyhonourableviews.

Uponthedebatebetweentheladyandhim,andparticularlyuponthatpartwheresheupbraidshimwithputtingayoungcreatureuponmakinga



sacrificeofherdutyandconscience,hewrite:

Allthese,andstillmoremortifyingthings,shesaid.

Iheardherinsilence.Butwhenitcametomyturn,Ipleaded,Iargued,Iansweredher,aswellasIcould.--Andwhenhumilitywouldnotdo,Iraisedmyvoice,andsufferedmyeyestosparklewithanger;hopingtotakeadvantageofthatsweetcowardicewhichissoamiableinthesex,andtowhichmyvictoryoverthisproudbeautyisprincipallyowing.

Shewasnotintimidated,however,andwasgoingtoriseuponmeinhertemper;andwouldhavebrokeninuponmydefence.Butwhenamantalkstoawomanuponsuchsubjects,letherbeeversomuchinalt,'tisstrange,ifhecannotthrowoutatubtothewhale;--thatistosay,ifhecannotdivertherfromresentingoneboldthing,byutteringtwoorthreefullasbold;butforwhichmorefavourableinterpretationswilllie.

Tothatpart,whereshetellshimofthedifficultyshemadetocorrespondwithhimatfirst,thushewrites:

Verytrue,myprecious!--Andinnumerablehavebeenthedifficultiesthouhastmademestrugglewith.Butonedaythoumayestwish,thatthouhadstsparedthisboast;aswellasthoseotherprettyhaughtinesses,'ThatthoudidstnotrejectSolmesformysake:thatmyglory,ifIvaluedmyselfuponcarryingtheeoff,wasthyshame:thatIhavemoremeritwithmyselfthanwiththee,oranybodyelse:[whatacoxcombshemakesme,Jack!]thatthouwishestthyselfinthyfather'shouseagain,whateverweretobetheconsequence.'--IfIforgivethee,charmer,forthesehints,forthesereflections,forthesewishes,forthesecontempts,IamnottheLovelaceIhavebeenreputedtobe;andthatthytreatmentofmeshewsthatthouthinkestIam.

Inshort,herwholeairthroughoutthisdebateexpressedamajestickindofindignation,whichimpliedabelievedsuperiorityoftalentsoverthepersontowhomshespoke.

Thouhastheardmeoftenexpatiateuponthepitifulfigureamanmustmake,whosewifehas,orbelievesshehas,moresensethanhimself.AthousandreasonscouldIgivewhyIoughtnottothinkofmarryingMissClarissaHarlowe;atleasttillIcanbesure,thatshelovesmewiththepreferenceImustexpectfromawife.

Ibegintostaggerinmyresolutions.EveraverseasIwastothehymenealshackles,howeasilywillprejudicesrecur!HeavengivemethehearttobehonesttomyClarissa!--There'saprayer,Jack!IfIshould

notbeheard,whatasadthingwouldthatbe,forthemostadmirableofwomen!--Yet,asIdonooftentroubleHeavenwithmyprayers,whoknowsbutthismaybegranted?

Butthereliebeforemesuchcharmingdifficulties,suchsceneryforintrigue,forstratagem,forenterprize.Whatahorriblething,thatmytalentspointallthatway!--WhenIknowwhatishonourableandjust;andwouldalmostwishtobehonest?--Almost,Isay;forsuchavarletamI,thatIcannotaltogetherwishit,forthesoulofme!--Suchatriumphoverthewholesex,ifIcansubduethislady!Mymaidenvow,asImay



callit!--Fordidnotthesexbeginwithme?Anddoesthisladyspareme?Thinkestthou,Jack,thatIshouldhavesparedmyRosebud,hadIbeensetatdefiancethus?--Hergrandmotherbesoughtme,atfirst,tospareherRosebud:andwhenagirlisput,orputsherselfintoaman'spower,whatcanhewishforfurther?whileIalwaysconsideredoppositionandresistanceasachallengetodomyworst.*

*SeeVol.I.LetterXXXIV.

Why,why,willthedearcreaturetakesuchpainstoappearallicetome?--Whywillshe,byherpride,awakenmine?--Hastthounotseen,intheabove,howcontemptiblyshetreatsme?--WhathaveInotsufferedforher,andevenfromher!--OughtItobearbeingtold,thatshewilldespiseme,ifIvaluemyselfabovethatodiousSolmes?

Thenshecutsmeshortinallmyardours.Tovowfidelity,isbyacursedturnuponme,toshew,thatthereisreason,inmyownopinion,fordoubtofit.Theverysamereflectionuponmeoncebefore.*

*SeeVol.II.LetterXIII.

Inmypower,oroutofmypower,allonetothislady.--So,Belford,mypoorvowsarecrammeddownmythroat,beforetheycanwellrisetomylips.Andwhatcanaloversaytohismistress,ifshewillneitherlethimlienorswear?

OnelittlepieceofartificeIhadrecourseto:Whenshepushedsohardformetoleaveher,Imadearequesttoher,uponaconditionshecouldnotrefuse;andpretendedasmuchgratitudeuponhergrantingit,asifitwereafavourofthelastconsequence.

Andwhatwasthis?buttopromisewhatshehadbeforepromised,'Nevertomarryanyotherman,whileIamliving,andsingle,unlessIshould

givehercauseforhighdisgustagainstme.'This,youknow,waspromisingnothing,becauseshecouldbeoffendedatanytime,andwastobethesolejudgeoftheoffence.Butitshewedherhowreasonableandjustmyexpectationswere;andthatIwasnoencroacher.

Sheconsented;andaskedwhatsecurityIexpected?Herwordonly.

Shegavemeherword:butIbesoughtherexcuseforsealingit:andinthesamemoment(sincetohavewaitedforconsentwouldhavebeenaskingforadenial)salutedher.And,believeme,ornot,but,asIhopetolive,itwasthefirsttimeIhadthecouragetotouchhercharminglipswithmine.AndthisItellthee,Belford,thatthatsinglepressure(asmodestlyputtoo,asifIwereasmuchavirginasherself,thatshe

mightnotbeafraidofmeanothertime)delightedmemorethaneverIwasdelightedbytheultimatumwithanyotherwoman.--Sopreciousdoawe,reverence,andapprehendedprohibition,makeafavour!

Andnow,Belford,IamonlyafraidthatIshallbetoocunning;forshedoesnotatpresenttalkenoughforme.Ihardlyknowwhattomakeofthedearcreatureyet.

Itoptthebrother'spartonMondaynightbeforethelandladyatSt.Alban's;askingmysister'spardonforcarryingheroffsounprepared



forajourney;pratedofthejoymyfatherandmother,andallourfriends,wouldhaveinreceivingher;andthiswithsomanycircumstances,thatIperceived,byalookshegaveme,thatwentthroughmyveryreins,thatIhadgonetoofar.Iapologizedforitindeedwhenalone;butcouldnotpenetrateforthesoulofme,whetherImadethematterbetterorworsebyit.

ButIamoftoofrankanature:mysuccess,andthejoyIhavebecauseofthejewelIamhalfinpossessionof,hasnotonlyunlockedmybosom,butleftthedoorquiteopen.

Thisisaconfoundedslysex.Wouldshebutspeakout,asIdo--butImustlearnreservesofher.

Shemustneedsbeunprovidedofmoney:buthastoomuchpridetoacceptofanyfromme.Iwouldhavehadhergototown[totown,ifpossible,mustIgethertoconsenttogo]inordertoprovideherselfwiththerichestofsilkswhichthatcanafford.Butneitheristhistobeassentedto.Andyet,asmyintelligenceracquaintsme,herimplacablerelationsareresolvedtodistressheralltheycan.

Thesewretcheshavebeenmostgloriouslyraving,eversinceherflight;andstill,thankHeaven,continuetorave;andwill,Ihope,foratwelvemonthtocome.Now,atlast,itismyday!

Bitterlydotheyregret,thattheypermittedherpoultry-visits,andgarden-walks,whichgavehertheopportunitytoeffectanescapewhichtheysupposepreconcerted.For,astoherdiningintheivy-bower,theyhadacunningdesigntoansweruponherinthatpermission,asBettytoldJosephherlover.*

*Vol.II.LetterXLVII.paragr.37,38.

Theylost,theysay,andexcellentpretenceforconfininghermorecloselyonmythreateningtorescueher,iftheyofferedtocarryher

againstherwilltooldAntony'smoatedhouse.*Forthis,asItoldtheeattheHart,andasIoncehintedtothedearcreatureherself,**theyhaditindeliberationtodo;apprehending,thatImightattempttocarryheroff,eitherwithorwithoutherconsent,onsomeoneofthoseconnived-atexcursions.

*Ibid.Let.XXXVI.andLet.XXXIX.par.I.**Ibid.Let.XXXVI.par.4.SeealsoLet.XV.par.3.

ButheremyhonestJoseph,whogavemetheinformation,wasofadmirableservicetome.IhadtaughthimtomaketheHarlowesbelieve,thatIwas

ascommunicativetomyservants,astheirstupidJameswastoJoseph:*Joseph,astheysupposed,bytamperingwithWill,**gotallmysecrets,andwasacquaintedwithallmymotions:andhavingalsoundertakentowatchallthoseofhisyounglady,*****thewisefamilyweresecure;andsowasmybeloved;andsowasI.

*Ibid.LetterXLVII.par.6,and39.**ThiswillbefartherexplainedinLetterXXI.ofthisvolume.*****SeeVol.I.LettersXXXI.andXXXIV.



Ioncehaditinmyhead(andIhintedittothee*inaformer)incasesuchastepshouldbenecessary,toattempttocarryheroffbysurprisefromthewood-house;asitisremotefromthedwelling-house.This,hadIattempted,Ishouldhavecertainlyeffected,bythehelpoftheconfraternity:anditwouldhavebeenanactionworthyofusall.--ButJoseph'sconscience,ashecalledit,stoodinmyway;forhethoughtitmusthavebeenknowntobedonebyhisconnivance.Icould,Idaresay,haveovercomethisscruple,aseasilyasIdidmanyoftheothers,hadInotdependedatonetimeuponhermeetingmeatmidnightorlatehour[and,ifshehad,sheneverwouldhavegoneback];atothertimes,uponthecunningfamily'sdoingmyworkforme,equallyagainsttheirknowledgeortheirwills.

*SeeVol.I.LetterXXXV.

ForwellIknew,thatJamesandArabellaweredeterminednevertoleaveofftheirfoolishtrialsandprovocations,till,bytiringherout,theyhadeithermadeherSolmes'swife,orguiltyofsomesuchrashnessasshouldthrowherforeveroutofthefavourofbothheruncles;thoughtheyhadtoomuchmaliceintheirheadstointendservicetomebytheir

persecutionsofher.

LETTERXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.[INCONTINUATION.]

Iobligedthedearcreaturehighly,Icouldperceive,bybringingMrs.Gremetoattendher,andtosufferthatgoodwoman'srecommendationoflodgingstotakeplace,onherrefusaltogotoTheLawn.

Shemustbelieveallmyviewstobehonourable,whenIhadprovidedforhernoparticularlodgings,leavingittoherchoice,whethershewouldgotoM.Hall,toTheLawn,toLondon,ortoeitherofthedowagersofmyfamily.

ShewasvisiblypleasedwithmymotionofputtingMrs.Gremeintothechaisewithher,andridingonhorsebackmyself.

SomepeoplewouldhavebeenapprehensiveofwhatmightpassbetweenherandMrs.Greme.Butasallmyrelationseitherknoworbelievethejusticeofmyintentionsbyher,Iwasinnopainonthataccount;andtheless,asIhavealwaysbeenabovehypocrisy,orwishingtobe

thoughtbetterthanIam.Andindeed,whatoccasionhasamantobeanhypocrite,whohashithertofoundhisviewsuponthesexbetteransweredforhisbeingknowntobearake?Why,evenmybelovedheredeniednottocorrespondwithme,thoughherfriendshadtaughthertothinkmealibertine--Whothenwouldbetryinganewandworsecharacter?

AndthenMrs.Gremeisapiousmatron,andwouldnothavebeenbiasedagainsttruthonanyconsideration.Sheusedformerly,whiletherewereanyhopesofmyreformation,toprayforme.Shehardlycontinuesthegoodcustom,Idoubt;forherworthylordmakesnoscrupleoccasionally



toraveagainstmetoman,woman,andchild,astheycomeinhisway.Heisveryundutiful,asthouknowest.Surely,Imaysayso;sincealldutiesarereciprocal.ButforMrs.Greme,poorwoman!whenmylordhasthegout,andisatTheLawn,andthechaplainnottobefound,shepraysbyhim,orreadsachaptertohimintheBible,orsomeothergoodbook.

Wasitnotthereforerighttointroducesuchagoodsortofwomantothedearcreature;andtoleavethem,withoutreserve,totheirowntalk!--AndverybusyintalkIsawtheywere,astheyrode;andfeltittoo;formostcharminglyglowedmycheeks.

IhopeIshallbehonest,Ioncemoresay:butaswefrailmortalsarenotourownmastersatalltimes,Imustendeavourtokeepthedearcreatureunapprehensive,untilIcangethertoouracquaintance'sinLondon,ortosomeothersafeplacethere.ShouldI,intheinterim,givehertheleastroomforsuspicion;oroffertorestrainher;shecanmakeherappealstostrangers,andcallthecountryinuponme;and,perhaps,throwherselfuponherrelationsontheirownterms.AndwereInowtoloseher,howunworthyshouldIbetobetheprinceandleaderofsuchaconfraternityasours!--Howunabletolookupamongmen!ortoshewmyfaceamongwomen!

Asthingsatpresentstand,shedarenotownthatshewentoffagainst

herownconsent;andIhavetakencaretomakealltheimplacablesbelieve,thatsheescapedwithit.

ShehasreceivedananswerfromMissHowe,totheletterwrittentoherfromSt.Alban's.*

*SeeVol.II.LetterXLVIII.

Whateverarethecontents,Iknownot;butshewasdrownedintearsontheperusalofit.AndIamthesufferer.

MissHoweisacharmingcreaturetoo;butconfoundedlysmartandspiritful.Iamagooddealafraidofher.Hermothercanhardlykeepherin.ImustcontinuetoplayoffoldAntony,bymyhonestJoseph,uponthatmother,inordertomanagethatdaughter,andobligemybelovedtoanabsolutedependenceuponmyself.*

*SeeVol.I.LetterXXXI.

Mrs.Howeisimpatientofcontradiction.SoisMiss.Ayoungladywhoissensiblethatshehasallthematerialsrequisitesherself,tobeundermaternalcontroul;--finegroundforamanofintriguetobuildupon!--A

motherover-notable;adaughterover-sensible;andtheirHickman,whois--over-neither:butmerelyapassive--

OnlythatIhaveanobjectstillmoredesirable--!

Yethowunhappy,thatthesetwoyoungladieslivedsoneareachother,andaresowellacquainted!ElsehowcharminglymightIhavemanagedthemboth!

Butonemancannothaveeverywomanworthhaving--Pitythough--whenthe



manissuchaVERYcleverfellow!

LETTERXIII


Neverwastheresuchapairofscribblingloversaswe;--yetperhapswhomitsomuchconcernstokeepfromeachotherwhateachwrites.Shewon'thaveanythingelsetodo.Iwould,ifshe'dletme.Iamnotreformedenoughforahusband.--Patienceisavirtue,LordM.says.Slowandsure,isanotherofhissentences.IfIhadnotagreatdealofthatvirtue,IshouldnothavewaitedtheHarlowesowntimeofripeningintoexecutionmyplotsuponthemselvesandupontheirgoddessdaughter.

Mybelovedhasbeenwritingtohersaucyfriend,Ibelieve,allthathasbefallenher,andwhathaspassedbetweenushitherto.Shewillpossiblyhavefinesubjectsforherpen,ifshebeasminuteasIam.

IwouldnotbesobarbarousastopermitoldAntonytosetMrs.Howeagainsther,didInotdreadtheconsequencesofthecorrespondence

betweenthetwoyoungladies.Solivelytheone,sovigilant,soprudentboth,whowouldnotwishtooutwitsuchgirls,andtobeabletotwirlthemroundhisfinger?

Mycharmerhaswrittentohersisterforherclothes,forsomegold,andforsomeofherbooks.Whatbookscantellhermorethansheknows?ButIcan.Soshehadbetterstudyme.

Shemaywrite.Shemustbeobligedtomeatlast,withallherpride.MissHoweindeedwillbereadyenoughtosupplyher;butIquestion,whethershecandoitwithouthermother,whoisascovetousasthegrave.Andmyagent'sagent,oldAntony,hasalreadygiventhemotherahintwhichwillmakeherjealousofpecuniaries.

Besides,ifMissHowehasmoneybyher,Icanputhermotheruponborrowingitofher:norblameme,Jack,forcontrivancesthathavetheirfoundationingenerosity.Thouknowestmyspirit;andthatIshouldbeproudtolayanobligationuponmycharmertotheamountofhalf,nay,tothewholeofmyestate.LordM.hasmoreformethanIcaneverwishfor.Mypredominantpassionisgirl,notgold;norvalueIthis,butasithelpsmetothat,andgivesmeindependence.

Iwasforcedtoputitintothesweetnovice'shead,aswellformysakeasforhers(lestweshouldbetraceablebyherdirection)whithertodirectthesendingofherclothes,iftheyinclinetodoherthatsmallpieceofjustice.

IftheydoIshallbegintodreadareconciliation;andmustbeforcedtomuseforacontrivanceortwotopreventit,andtoavoidmischief.Forthat(asIhavetoldhonestJosephLeman)isagreatpointwithme.

Thouwiltthinkmeasadfellow,Idoubt.Butarenotallrakessadfellows?--Andartnotthou,tothylittlepower,asbadasany?Ifthoudostallthat'sinthyheadandinthyhearttodo,thouartworsethanI;forIdonot,Iassureyou.



Iproposed,andsheconsented,thatherclothes,orwhateverelseherrelationsshouldthinkfittosendher,shouldbedirectedtothycousinOsgood's.Letaspecialmessenger,atmycharge,bringmeanyletter,orportableparcel,thatshallcome.Ifnotportable,givemenoticeofit.Butthou'lthavenotroubleofthissortfromherrelations,Idarebesworn.Andinthisassurance,Iwillleavethem,Ithink,toactupontheirownheads.Amanwouldhavenomoretoanswerforthanneedsmust.

Butonething,whileIthinkofit;whichisofgreatimportancetobeattendedto--Youmusthereafterwritetomeincharacter,asIshalldotoyou.Itwouldbeaconfoundedthingtobeblownupbyatrainofmyownlaying.Andwhoknowswhatopportunitiesamaninlovemayhaveagainsthimself?Inchangingacoatorwaistcoat,somethingmightbeforgotten.Ioncesufferedthatway.Thenforthesex'scuriosity,itisbutremembering,inordertoguardagainstit,thatthenameoftheircommonmotherwasEve.

Anotherthingremember;Ihavechangedmyname:changeditwithoutanactofparliament.'RobertHuntingford'itisnow.ContinueEsquire.Itisarespectableaddition,althougheverysorryfellowassumesit,almosttothebanishmentoftheusualtravelingoneofCaptain.'Tobelefttillcalledfor,atthepost-houseatHertford.'

Uponnamingthee,sheaskedthycharacter.Igavetheeabetterthan

thoudeservest,inordertodocredittomyself.YetItoldher,thatthouwertanawkwardfellow;andthistodocredittothee,thatshemaynot,ifevershebetoseethee,expectacleverermanthanshe'llfind.Yetthyapparentawkwardnessbefriendstheenotalittle:forwertthouasightlymortal,peoplewoulddiscovernothingextraordinaryinthee,whentheyconversedwiththee:whereas,seeingabear,theyaresurprisedtofindintheeanythingthatislikeaman.Felicitatethyselfthenuponthydefects;whichareevidentlythyprincipalperfections;andwhichoccasiontheeadistinctionwhichotherwisethouwouldstneverhave.

Thelodgingsweareinatpresentarenotconvenient.Iwassodelicateastofindfaultwiththem,ascommunicatingwitheachother,because

Iknewshewould;andtoldher,thatwereIsureshewassafefrompursuit,Iwouldleaveherinthem,(sincesuchwasherearnestdesireandexpectation,)andgotoLondon.

Shemustbeaninfidelagainstallreasonandappearances,ifIdonotbanisheventheshadowofmistrustfromherheart.

Herearetwoyounglikelygirls,daughtersofthewidowSorlings;that'sthenameofourlandlady.

Ihaveonly,atpresent,admiredthemintheirdairy-works.Howgreedilydothesexswallowpraise!--DidInotonce,inthestreetsofLondon,seeawell-dressed,handsomegirllaugh,bridle,andvisiblyenjoythe

praisesofasootydog,achimney-sweeper;who,withhisemptysackacrosshisshoulder,aftergivinghertheway,stopt,andhelduphisbrushandshovelinadmirationofher?--Egad,girl,thoughtI,IdespisetheeasLovelace:butwereIthechimney-sweeper,andcouldonlycontrivetogetintothypresence,mylifetothyvirtue,Iwouldhavethee.

SopleasedwasIwiththeyoungSorlings,fortheeleganceofherworks,thatIkissedher,andshemademeacourtesyformycondescension;andblushed,andseemedsensibleallover:encouraging,yetinnocently,she



adjustedherhandkerchief,andlookedtowardsthedoor,asmuchastosay,shewouldnottell,wereItokissheragain.

Hereldestsisterpoptuponher.Theconsciousgirlblushedagain,andlookedsoconfounded,thatImadeanexcuseforher,whichgratifiedboth.Mrs.Betty,saidI,Ihavebeensomuchpleasedwiththeneatnessofyourdairy-works,thatIcouldnothelpsalutingyoursister:youhaveyourshareofmeritinthem,Iamsure--Givemeleave----

Goodsouls!--Ilikethemboth--shecourtesiedtoo!--HowIloveagratefultemper!OthatmyClarissawerebuthalfsoacknowledging!

IthinkImustgetoneofthemtoattendmycharmerwhensheremoves--themotherseemstobeanotablewoman.Shehadnotbest,however,betoonotable:since,wereshebysuspiciontogivemeafaceofdifficultytothematter,itwouldpreparemeforatrialwithoneorboththedaughters.

Allowmealittlerhodamantade,Jack--butreallyandtrulymyheartisfixed.Icanthinkofnocreaturebreathingofthesex,butmyGloriana.

LETTERXIV


ThisisWednesday;thedaythatIwastohavelostmycharmerforevertothehideousSolmes!Withwhathighsatisfactionandheart's-easecanInowsitdown,andtriumphovermymeninstrawatHarlowe-place!Yet'tisperhapsbestforthem,thatshegotoffasshedid.Whoknowswhatconsequencesmighthavefolloweduponmyattendingherin;or(ifshehadnotmetme)uponmyprojectedvisit,followedbymymyrmidons?

ButhadIevengoneinwithherunaccompanied,IthinkIhadbutlittle

reasonforapprehension:forwellthouknowest,thatthetamespiritswhichvaluethemselvesuponreputation,andareheldwithintheskirtsofthelawbypoliticalconsiderationsonly,maybecomparedtoaninfectiousspider;whichwillrunintohisholethemomentoneofhisthreadsistouchedbyafingerthatcancrushhim,leavingallhistoilsdefenceless,andtobebrusheddownatthewillofthepotentinvader.Whileasillyfly,thathasneithercouragenorstrengthtoresist,nosoonergivesnotice,byitsbuzanditsstruggles,ofitsbeingentangled,butoutstepstheself-circumscribedtyrant,windsroundandroundthepoorinsect,tillhecoversitwithhisbowel-spuntoils;andwhensofullysecured,thatitcanneithermovelegnorwing,suspendsit,asifforaspectacletobeexultedover:thenstalkingtothedoorofhiscell,turnsabout,glotesoveritatadistance;and,sometimes

advancing,sometimesretiring,preysatleisureuponitsvitals.

ButnowIthinkofit,willnotthiscomparisondoaswellfortheentangledgirls,asforthetamespirits?--Bettero'myconscience!--'Tisbutcomparingthespidertousbravefellows,anditquadrates.

Whateverourheartsarein,ourheadswillfollow.Beginwithspiders,withflies,withwhatwewill,girlisthecentreofgravity,andweallnaturallytendtoit.



Nevertheless,torecur;Icannotbutobserve,thatthesetamespiritsstandapoorchanceinafairlyoffensivewarwithsuchofusmadfellowsasareabovealllaw,andscorntosculkbehindthehypocriticalscreenofreputation.

ThouknowestthatIneverscrupletothrowmyselfamongstnumbersofadversaries;themorethesafer:oneortwo,nofear,willtakethepartofasingleadventurer,ifnotintentionally,infact;holdinghimin,whileothersholdintheprincipalantagonist,totheaugmentationoftheirmutualprowess,tillbothareprevailedupontocompromise,oronetobeabsent:sothat,uponthewhole,thelaw-breakershavetheadvantageofthelaw-keepers,alltheworldover;atleastforatime,andtilltheyhaveruntotheendoftheirrace.Addtothis,inthequestionbetweenmeandtheHarlowes,thatthewholefamilyofthemmustknowthattheyhaveinjuredme--mustthereforebeafraidofme.Didtheynot,attheirownchurch,clustertogetherlikebees,whentheysawmeenterit?Norknewtheywhichshouldventureoutfirst,whentheservicewasover.

James,indeed,wasnotthere.Ifhehad,hewouldperhapshaveendeavouredtolookvaliant.Butthereisasortofvalourintheface,whichshewsfearintheheart:justsuchafacewouldJamesHarlowe'shavebeen,hadImadethemavisit.

WhenIhavehadsuchafaceandsuchaheartasIhavedescribedtodealwith,Ihavebeenallcalmandserene,andleftittothefriendsoftheblusterer(asIhavedonetotheHarlowes)todomyworkforme.

Iamaboutmusteringupinmymemory,allthatIhaveeverdone,thathasbeenthoughtpraise-worthy,orbutbarelytolerable.Iamafraidthoucanstnothelpmetomanyremembrancesofthissort;becauseIneverwassobadassinceIhaveknownthee.

HaveInothaditinmyhearttodosomegoodthatthoucanstnotremindmeof?Studyforme,Jack.IhaverecollectedsomeinstanceswhichIthinkwilltellin--butseeifthoucanstnothelpmetosomewhichI

mayhaveforgot.

ThisImayventuretosay,thattheprincipalblotinmyescutcheonisowingtothesegirls,theseconfoundedgirls.Butforthem,Icouldgotochurchwithagoodconscience:butwhenIdo,theretheyare.EverywheredoesSatanspreadhissnaresforme!But,howIthinkofit,whatifourgovernorshouldappointchurchesforthewomenonly,andothersforthemen?--Fullasproper,Ithink,forthepromotingoftruepietyinboth,[muchbetterthanthesynagogue-lattices,]asseparateboarding-schoolsfortheireducation.

Therearealreadymaleandfemalededicationsofchurches.

St.Swithin's,St.Stephen's,St.Thomas's,St.George's,andsoforth,mightbeappropriatedtothemen;andSantaCatharina's,SantaAnna's,SantaMaria's,SantaMargaretta's,forthewomen.

Yetwereitso,andlifetobetheforfeitureofbeingfoundatthefemalechurches,IbelievethatI,likeasecondClodius,shouldchangemydress,tocomeatmyPortiaorPompeia,thoughonethedaughterofaCato,theotherthewifeofaCaesar.

ButhowIexcurse!--Yetthouusedsttosay,thoulikedstmyexcursions.



Ifthoudost,thou'lthaveenowofthem:forIneverhadasubjectIsomuchadored;andwithwhichIshallprobablybecompelledtohavesomuchpatiencebeforeIstriketheblow;iftheblowIdostrike.

Butletmecallmyselfbacktomyrecordation-subject--ThouneedestnotremindmeofmyRosebud.Ihaveherinmyhead;andmoreoverhavecontrivedtogivemyfair-oneanhintofthataffair,bytheagencyofhonestJosephLeman;*althoughIhavenotreapedthehoped-forcreditofheracknowledgement.

*SeeVol.II.LetterXXVII.

That'sthedevil;anditwasalwaysmyhardfate--everythingIdothatisgood,isbutasIought!--Everythingofacontrarynatureisbroughtintothemostglaringlightagainstme--Isthisfair?Oughtnotabalancetobestruck;andthecreditcarriedtomyaccount?--YetImustowntoo,thatIhalfgrudgeJohnnythisbloomingmaiden?for,intruth,Ithinkafinewomantoorichajeweltohangaboutapoorman'sneck.

Surely,Jack,ifIamguiltyofafaultinmyuniversaladorationsofthesex,thewomeningeneraloughttolovemethebetterforit.

Andsotheydo;Ithankthemheartily;excepthereandthereacovetouslittleroguecomescrossme,who,underthepretenceoflovingvirtueforitsownsake,wantstohavemealltoherself.

Ihaverambledenough.

Adieu,forthepresent.

LETTERXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYNIGHT,APRIL13.

Ialwayslovedwriting,andmyunhappysituationgivesmenowenoughofit;andyou,Ifear,toomuch.IhavehadanotherverywarmdebatewithMr.Lovelace.Itbroughtonthesubjectwhichyouadvisedmenottodecline,whenitwashandsomelyoffered.AndIwanttohaveeitheryouracquittalorblameforhavingsufferedittogooffwithouteffect.

Theimpatientwretchsentuptomeseveraltimes,whileIwaswritingmylasttoyou,todesiremycompany:yethisbusinessnothingparticular;onlytohearhimtalk.Themanseemspleasedwithhisownvolubility;and,wheneverhehascollectedtogetherabundanceofsmooththings,he

wantsmetofindanearforthem!Yetheneednot;forIdon'toftengratifyhimeitherwithgivinghimthepraiseforhisverboseness,orshewingthepleasureinitthathewouldbefondof.

WhenIhadfinishedtheletter,andgivenittoMr.Hickman'sfriend,Iwasgoingupagain,andhadgotuphalfadozenstairs;whenhebesoughtbetostop,andhearwhathehadtosay.

Nothing,asIsaid,toanynewpurposehadhetooffer;butcomplainings;andthoseinamanner,andwithanair,asIthought,that



bordereduponinsolence.Hecouldnotlive,hetoldme,unlesshehadmoreofmycompany,andofmyindulgencetoo,thatIhadyetgivenhim.

HereuponIsteptdown,andintotheparlour,notalittleoutofhumourwithhim;andthemore,ashehasveryquietlytakenuphisquartershere,withouttalkingofremoving,ashehadpromised.

Webeganinstantlyourangryconference.Heprovokedme;andIrepeatedseveraloftheplainestthingsIhadsaidinourformerconversations;andparticularlytoldhim,thatIwaseveryhourmoreandmoredissatisfiedwithmyself,andwithhim:thathewasnotaman,who,inmyopinion,improveduponacquaintance:andthatIshouldnotbeeasytillhehadleftmetomyself.

Hemightbesurprisedatmywarmth,perhaps:butreallythemanlookedsolikeasimpleton,hesitating,andhavingnothingtosayforhimself,orthatshouldexcusetheperemptorinessofhisdemanduponme,(whenheknewIhadbeenwritingaletterwhichagentlemanwaitedfor,)thatIflungfromhim,declaring,thatIwouldbemistressofmyowntime,andofmyownactions,andnottobecalledtoaccountforeither.

Hewasveryuneasytillhecouldagainbeadmittedintomycompany,andwhenIwasobligedtoseehim,whichwassoonerthanIliked,neverdidthemanputonamorehumbleandrespectfuldemeanor.

Hetoldme,thathehad,uponthisoccasion,beenenteringintohimself,andhadfoundagreatdealofreasontoblamehimselfforanimpertinencyandinconsiderationwhich,althoughhemeantnothingbyit,mustbeverydisagreeabletooneofmydelicacy.Thathavingalwaysaimedatamanlysincerityandopennessofheart,hehadnottillnowdiscovered,thatbothwereveryconsistentwiththattruepoliteness,whichhefearedhehadtoomuchdisregarded,whilehesoughttoavoidthecontraryextreme;knowing,thatinmehehadtodealwithalady,whodespisedanhypocrite,andwhowasaboveallflattery.Butfromthistimeforth,Ishouldfindsuchanalterationinhiswholebehaviour,asmightbeexpectedfromamanwhoknewhimselftobehonouredwiththepresenceandconversationofaperson,whohadthemostdelicatemindin

theworld--thatwashisflourish.

Isaid,thathemightperhapsexpectcongratulationuponthediscoveryhehadjustnowmade,towit,thattruepolitenessandsinceritywerereconcilable:butthatI,whohad,byaperversefate,beenthrownintohiscompany,hadabundantreasontoregretthathehadnotsoonerfoundthisout.--Since,Ibelieved,veryfewmenofbirthandeducationwerestrangerstoit.

Heknewnot,neither,hesaid,thathehadsobadlybehavedhimself,astodeservesoveryseverearebuke.

Perhapsnot,Ireplied:buthemight,ifso,makeanotherdiscoveryfrom

whatIhadsaid;whichmightbetomyowndisadvantage:since,ifhehadsomuchreasontobesatisfiedwithhimself,hewouldseewhatanungenerouspersonhespoketo,who,whenheseemedtogivehimselfairsofhumility,which,perhapshethoughtbeneathhimtoassume,hadnotthecivilitytomakehimacomplimentuponthem;butwasreadytotakehimathisword.

Hehadlong,withinfinitepleasure,thepretendedflattery-hatersaid,admiredmysuperiortalents,andawisdominsoyoungalady,perfectlysuprising.



Letme,Madam,saidhe,standeversolowinyouropinion,Ishallbelieveallyousaytobejust;andthatIhavenothingtodobuttogovernmyselfforthefuturebyyourexample,andbythestandardyoushallbepleasedtogiveme.

Iknowbetter,Sir,repliedI,thantovaluemyselfuponyourvolubilityofspeech.Asyoupretendtopaysopreferablearegardtosincerity,youshallconfineyourselftothestrictrulesoftruth,whenyouspeakofme,tomyself:andthen,althoughyoushallbesokindastoimaginethatyouhavereasontomakemeacompliment,youwillhavemuchmoretoprideyourselfinthoseartswhichhavemadesoextraordinaryayoungcreaturesogreatafool.

Really,mydear,themandeservesnotpolitertreatment.--Andthenhashenotmadeafool,anegregiousfoolofme?--Iamafraidhehimselfthinkshehas.

Iamsurprised!Iamamazed,Madam,returnedhe,atsostrangeaturnuponme!--Iamveryunhappy,thatnothingIcandoorsaywillgiveyouagoodopinionofme!--WouldtoheaventhatIknewwhatIcandotoobtainthehonourofyourconfidence!

Itoldhim,thatIdesiredhisabsence,ofallthings.Isawnot,

Isaid,thatmyfriendsthoughtitworththeirwhiletogivemedisturbance:therefore,ifhewouldsetoutforLondon,orBerkshire,orwhitherhepleased,itwouldbemostagreeabletome,andmostreputabletoo.

Hewoulddoso,hesaid,heintendedtodoso,themomentIwasinaplacetomyliking--inaplaceconvenientforme.

This,Sir,willbeso,saidI,whenyouarenotheretobreakinuponme,andmaketheapartmentsinconvenient.

Hedidnotthinkthisplacesafe,hereplied;andasIintendednottostayhere,hehadnotbeensosolicitous,asotherwiseheshouldhave

been,toenjoinprivacytohisservants,nortoMrs.Gremeatherleavingme;thatthereweretwoorthreegentlemenattheneighbourhood,hesaid,withwhoseservantshisgossipingfellowshadscrapedacquaintance:sothathecouldnotthinkofleavingmehereunguardedandunattended.--ButfixuponanyplaceinEnglandwhereIcouldbeoutofdanger,andhewouldgotothefurthermostpartoftheking'sdominions,ifbydoingsohecouldmakemeeasy.

ItoldhimplainlythatIshouldneverbeinhumourwithmyselfformeetinghim;norwithhim,forseducingmeaway:thatmyregretsincreased,insteadofdiminished:thatmyreputationwaswounded:thatnothingIcoulddowouldnowretrieveit:andthathemustnotwonder,ifIeveryhourgrewmoreandmoreuneasybothwithmyselfandhim:that

uponthewhole,Iwaswillingtotakecareofmyself;andwhenhehadleftme,Ishouldbestknowwhattoresolveupon,andwhithertogo.

Hewished,hesaid,hewereatliberty,withoutgivingmeoffence,orbeingthoughttointendtoinfringethearticlesIhadstipulatedandinsistedupon,tomakeonehumbleproposaltome.Butthesacredregardhewasdeterminedtopaytoallmyinjunctions(reluctantlyasIhadonMondaylastputitintohispowertoserveme)wouldnotpermithimtomakeit,unlessIwouldpromisetoexcusehim,ifIdidnotapproveofit.



Iasked,insomeconfusion,whathewouldsay?

Heprefacedandparadedon;andthenoutcame,withgreatdiffidence,andmanyapologies,andabashfulnesswhichsatveryawkwardlyuponhim,aproposalofspeedysolemnization:which,hesaid,wouldputallright;andmakemyfirstthreeorfourmonths(whichotherwisemustbepassedinobscurityandapprehension)aroundofvisitsandvisitingstoandfromallhisrelations;toMissHowe;towhomIpleased:andwouldpavethewaytothereconciliationIhadsomuchatheart.

Youradvicehadgreatweightwithmejustthen,aswellashisreasons,andtheconsiderationofmyunhappysituation:ButwhatcouldIsay?Iwantedsomebodytospeakforme.

ThemansawIwasnotangryathismotion.Ionlyblushed;andthatIamsureIdiduptotheears;andlookedsilly,andlikeafool.

Hewantsnotcourage.Wouldhehavehadmecatchathisfirst,athisveryfirstword?--Iwassilenttoo--anddonottheboldsextakesilenceforamarkofafavour!--Then,solatelyinmyfather'shouse!Havingalsodeclaredtohiminmyletters,beforeIhadyouradvice,thatIwouldnotthinkofmarriagetillhehadpassedthroughastateofprobation,asImaycallit--HowwasitpossibleIcouldencourage,with

veryreadysignsofapprobation,suchanearlyproposal?especiallysosoonafterthefreetreatmenthehadprovokedfromme.IfIweretodie,Icouldnot.

Helookedatmewithgreatconfidence;asif(notwithstandinghiscontradictorybashfulness)hewouldlookmethrough;whilemyeyebutnow-and-thencouldglanceathim.--Hebeggedmypardonwithgreathumility:hewasafraidIwouldthinkhedeservednootheranswer,butthatofacontemptuoussilence.Truelovewasfearfulofoffending.[Takecare,Mr.Lovelace,thoughtI,howyour'sistriedbythatrule].Indeedsosacredaregard[foolishman!]wouldhehavetoallmydeclarationsmadebeforeIhonouredhim--

Iwouldhearhimnofurther;butwithdrewinaconfusiontoovisible,andlefthimtomakehisnonsensicalflourishestohimself.

Iwillonlyadd,that,ifhereallywishesforaspeedysolemnization,henevercouldhavehadaluckiertimetopressformyconsenttoit.Butheletitgooff;andindignationhastakenplaceofit.Andnowitshallbeapointwithme,togethimatadistancefromme.

Iam,mydearestfriend,YoureverfaithfulandobligedCL.H.

LETTERXVI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAY,APR.13.

Why,Jack,thouneedestnotmakesuchawonderment,asthegirlssay,ifIshouldhavetakenlargestridesalreadytowardsreformation:fordostthounotsee,thatwhileIhavebeensoassiduously,nightandday,pursuingthissinglecharmer,Ihaveinfinitelylesstoanswerfor,thanotherwiseIshouldhavehad?Letmesee,howmanydaysand



nights?--Forty,Ibelieve,afteropentrenches,spentinthesaponly,andneveraminesprungyet!

Byamoderatecomputation,adozenkitesmighthavefallen,whileIhavebeenonlytryingtoensnarethissinglelark.NoryetdoIseewhenIshallbeabletobringhertomylure:moreinnocentdaysyet,therefore!--Butreformationformystalking-horse,Ihope,willbeasure,thoughaslowmethodtoeffectallmypurposes.

Then,Jack,thouwilthaveamerittooinengagingmypen,sincethytimewouldbeotherwiseworseemployed:and,afterall,whoknowsbutbycreatingnewhabits,attheexpenseoftheold,arealreformationmaybebroughtabout?Ihavepromisedit;andIbelievethereisapleasuretobefoundinbeinggood,reversingthatofNat.Lee'smadman,

--Whichnonebutgoodmenknow.

Byallthis,seestthounothowgreatlypreferableitis,ontwentyaccounts,topursueadifficultratherthananeasychace?Ihaveadesiretoinculcatethispleasureuponthee,andtoteachtheetoflyatnoblergamethandaws,crows,andwidgeons:Ihaveamindtoshewtheefromtimetotime,inthecourseofthecorrespondencethouhastsoearnestlywishedmetobeginonthisillustriousoccasion,thattheseexaltedladiesmaybeabased,andtoobviateoneoftheobjectionsthat

thoumadesttome,whenwewerelasttogether,thatthepleasurewhichattendsthesenobleraims,remuneratesnotthepainstheybringwiththem;since,likeapaltryfellowasthouwert,thouassertedstthatallwomenarealike.

Thouknowestnothing,Jack,ofthedelicaciesofintrigue:nothingofthegloryofoutwittingthewittyandthewatchful:ofthejoysthatfillthemindoftheinventiveorcontrivinggenius,ruminatingwhichtouseofthedifferentwebsthatoffertohimfortheentanglementofahaughtycharmer,whoinherdayhasgivenhimunnumberedtorments.Thou,Jack,who,likeadogathisease,contentestthyselftogrowloverabonethrownouttothee,dostnotknowthejoysofachace,andinpursuingawindinggame:theseIwillendeavourtorousetheeto,

andthenthouwilthavereasondoublyandtreblytothankme,aswellbecauseofthypresentdelight,aswithregardtothyprospectbeyondthemoon.

TothisplaceIhadwritten,purelytoamusemyself,beforeIwasadmittedtomycharmer.ButnowIhavetotellthee,thatIwasquiterightinmyconjecture,thatshewouldsetupforherself,anddismissme:forshehasdeclaredinsomanywordsthatsuchwasherresolution:Andwhy?Because,tobeplainwithme,themoreshesawofme,andofmyways,thelessshelikedofeither.

Thiscutmetotheheart!Ididnotcry,indeed!HadIbeenawoman,Ishouldthough,andthatmostplentifully:butIpulledoutawhite

cambrickhandkerchief:thatIcouldcommand,butnotmytears.

Shefindsfaultwithmyprotestations,withmyprofessions,withmyvows:Icannotcurseaservant,theonlyprivilegeamasterisknownby,butIamsupposedtobeatrooper*--Imustnotsay,Bymysoul!nor,AsIhopetobesaved!Why,Jack,howparticularthisis!WouldshenothavemethinkIhaveaprecioussoul,aswellasshe?Ifshethinksmysalvationhopeless,whatadevil[anotherexceptionableword!]doessheproposetoreformmefor?SoIhavenotanardentexpressionleftme.



*SeeLetterVI.ofthisvolume.

*****

Whatcanbedonewithawomanwhoisaboveflattery,anddespisesallpraisebutthatwhichflowsfromtheapprobationofherownheart?

Well,Jack,thouseestitishightimetochangemymeasures.ImustrunintothepiousalittlefasterthanIhaddesigned.

Whatasadthingitwouldbe,wereI,afterall,toloseherperson,aswellasheropinion!theonlytimethatfurtheracquaintance,andnoblowstruck,norsuspiciongiven,everlessenedmeinalady'sfavour!Acursedmortification!--'TiscertainIcanhavenopretenceforholdingher,ifshewillgo.Nosuchthingasforcetobeused,orsomuchashintedat:LordsendussafeatLondon!--That'sallIhaveforitnow:andyetitmustbetheleastpartofmyspeech.

Butwhywillthisadmirablecreatureurgeherdestiny?Whywillshedefythepowersheisabsolutelydependentupon?Whywillshestillwishto

myfacethatshehadneverleftherfather'shouse?Whywillshedenymehercompany,tillshemakesmelosemypatience,andlaymyselfopentoherresentment?Andwhy,whensheisoffended,doesshecarryherindignationtotheutmostlengththatascornfulbeauty,intheveryheightofherpowerandpride,cango?

Isitprudent,thinkestthou,inhercircumstances,totellme,repeatedlytotellme,'Thatsheiseveryhourmoreandmoredissatisfiedwithherselfandme?ThatIamnotonewhoimproveuponherinmyconversationandaddress?'[Couldstthou,Jack,bearthisfromacaptive!]'Thatsheshallnotbeeasywhilesheiswithme?Thatsheknowsbetterthantovalueherselfuponmyvolubility?ThatifIthinkshedeservesthecomplimentsImakeher,Imaypridemyselfinthose

arts,bywhichIhavemadeafoolofsoextraordinaryaperson?Thatsheshallneverforgiveherselfformeetingme,normeforseducingheraway?'[Herverywords.]'Thatherregretsincreaseinsteadofdiminish?Thatshewilltakecareofherself;and,sinceherfriendsthingitnotworthwhiletopursueher,shewillbelefttoherowncare?ThatIshallmakeMrs.Sorlings'shousemoreagreeablebymyabsence?--AndgotoBerks,totown,orwhereverIwill,'[tothedevil,Isuppose,]'withallherheart?'

Theimpoliticcharmer!--Toatempersovindictiveasshethinsmine!Toafree-liver,asshebelievesmetobe,whohasherinhispower!Iwasbefore,asthouknowest,balancing;nowthisscale,nowthat,theheaviest.Ionlywaitedtoseehowherwillwouldwork,howminewould

leadmeon.Thouseestwhatbiasheretakes--Andwiltthoudoubtthatminewillbedeterminedbyit?Werenotherfaults,beforethis,numerousenough?Whywillsheputmeuponlookingback?

Iwillsitdowntoarguewithmyselfby-and-by,andthoushaltbeacquaintedwiththeresult.

Ifthoudidstbutknow,ifthouhadstbutbeheld,whatanabjectslaveshemademelooklike!--Ihadgivenmyselfhighairs,asshecalledthem:buttheywereairsthatshewedmyloveforher:thatshewed



Icouldnotliveoutofhercompany.Butshetookmedownwithavengeance!Shemademelookaboutme.Somuchadvantagehadsheoverme;suchsevereturnsuponme;bymysoul,Jack,Ihadhardlyawordtosayformyself.Iamashamedtotelltheewhatapoorcreatureshemademelooklike!ButIcouldhavetoldhersomethingthatwouldhavehumbledherprettyprideattheinstant,hadshebeeninaproperplace,andpropercompanyabouther.

Tosuchaplacethen--andwhereshecannotflyme--Andthentoseehowmywillworks,andwhatcanbedonewiththeamoroussee-saw;nowhumble,nowproud;nowexpecting,ordemanding;nowsubmitting,oracquiescing--tillIhavetriedresistance.

Butthesehintsareatpresentenough.ImayfurtherexplainmyselfasIgoalong;andasIconfirmorrecedeinmyfuturemotions.Ifshewillrevivepastdisobligations!Ifshewill--Butnomore,nomore,asIsaid,atpresent,ofthreatenings.

LETTERXVII


AnddoInotseethatIshallneednothingbutpatience,inordertohaveallpowerwithme?Forwhatshallwesay,ifallthesecomplaintsofacharacterwounded;thesedeclarationsofincreasingregretsformeetingme;ofresentmentsnevertobegotoverformyseducingheraway;theseangrycommandstoleaverher:--Whatshallwesay,ifallweretomeannothingbutMATRIMONY?Andwhatifmyforbearingtoenteruponthatsubjectcomeouttobethetruecauseoftheirpetulanceanduneasiness!

Ihadoncebeforeplayedabouttheskirtsoftheirrevocableobligation;butthoughtmyselfobligedtospeakinclouds,andtorunawayfromthe

subject,assoonasshetookmymeaning,lestsheshouldimagineittobeungenerouslyurged,nowshewasinsomesortinmypower,asshehadforbidmebeforehand,totouchuponit,tillIwereinastateofvisiblereformation,andtillareconciliationwithherfriendswereprobable.Butnow,out-argued,out-talented,andpushedsovehementlytoleaveoneofwhomIhadnogoodpretencetohold,ifshewouldgo;andwhocouldsoeasily,ifIhadgivenhercausetodoubt,havethrownherselfintootherprotection,orhavereturnedtoHarlowe-placeandSolmes;Ispokeoutuponthesubject,andofferedreasons,althoughwithinfinitedoubtandhesitation,[lestsheshouldbeoffendedatme,Belford!]whysheshouldassenttothelegaltie,andmakemethehappiestofmen.AndOhowthemantlecheek,thedowncasteye,thesilentyettremblinglip,andtheheavingbosom,asweetcollection

ofheightenedbeauties,gaveevidencethatthetenderwasnotmortallyoffensive!

Charmingcreature!thoughtI,[butIchargethee,thatthouletnotanyofthesexknowmyexultation,*]Isitsosooncometothis?AmIalreadylordofthedestinyofaClarissaHarlowe?AmIalreadythereformedmanthouresolvestIshouldbe,beforeIhadtheleastencouragementgivenme?Isitthus,thatthemorethouknowestme,thelessthouseestreasontoapproveofme?--Andcanartanddesignenterintoabreastsocelestial?Tobanishmefromthee,toinsistso



rigorouslyuponmyabsence,inordertobringmeclosertothee,andmaketheblessingdear?Welldothyartsjustifymine;andencouragemetoletloosemyplottinggeniusuponthee.

*Mr.Lovelacemighthavesparedthiscautiononthisoccasion,sincemanyofthesex[wementionitwithregret]whoonthefirstpublicationhadreadthusfar,andeventothelady'sfirstescape,havebeenreadiertocensureherforover-niceness,aswehaveobservedinaformernote,page42,thanhimforartificesandexultationsnotlesscruelandungrateful,thanungenerousandunmanly.

Butletmetellthee,charmingmaid,ifthywishesareatalltobeanswered,thatthouhastyettoaccounttomeforthyreluctancetogooffwithme,atacrisiswhenthygoingoffwasnecessarytoavoidbeingforcedintothenuptialfetterswithawretch,that,werehenotthyaversion,thouwertnomorehonesttothyownmeritthantome.

Iamaccustomedtobepreferred,letmetellthee,bythyequalsinranktoo,thoughthyinferiorsinmerit:Butwhoisnotso?AndshallImarryawoman,whohasgivenmereasontodoubtthepreferenceshehasforme?

No,mydearestlove,Ihavetoosacredaregardforthyinjunctions,to

letthembebrokenthrough,evenbythyself.NorwillItakeinthyfullmeaningbyblushingsilenceonly.Norshaltthougivemeroomtodoubt,whetheritbenecessityorlove,thatinspiresthiscondescendingimpulse.

Upontheseprinciples,whathadItodobuttoconstruehersilenceintocontemptuousdispleasure?AndIbeggedherpardonformakingamotionwhichIhadsomuchreasontofearwouldoffendher:forthefutureIwouldpayasacredregardtoherpreviousinjunctions,andprovetoherbyallmyconductthetruthofthatobservation,Thattrueloveisalwaysfearfulofoffending.

Andwhatcouldtheladysaytothis?methinksthouaskest.

Say!--Whyshelookedvexed,disconcerted,teased;wasataloss,asIthought,whethertobemoreangrywithherself,orwithme.Sheturnedabout,however,asiftohideastartingtear;anddrewasighintotwoorthreebutjustaudiblequavers,tryingtosuppressit,andwithdrew--leavingmemasterofthefield.

Tellmenotofpoliteness;tellmenotofgenerosity;tellmenotofcompassion--Isshenotamatchforme?Morethanamatch?Doesshenotoutdomeateveryfairweapon?Hasshenotmademedoubtherlove?HasshenottakenofficiouspainstodeclarethatshewasnotaversetoSolmesforanyrespectshehadtome?andhersorrowforputtingherselfoutofhisreach,thatistosay,formeetingme?

Then,whatatriumphwoulditbetotheHarlowepride,wereInowtomarrythislady?Afamilybeneathmyown!Nooneinitworthyofanalliancewithbuther!Myownestatenotcontemptible!Livingwithintheboundsofit,toavoiddependenceupontheirbetters,andobligedtonomanliving!Myexpectationsstillsomuchmoreconsiderable!Myperson,mytalents--nottobedespised,surely--yetrejectedbythemwithscorn.Obligedtocarryonanunderhandaddresstotheirdaughter,whentwoofthemostconsiderablefamiliesinthekingdomhavemadeovertures,whichIhavedeclined,partlyforhersake,andpartlybecauseIneverwill



marry;ifshebenottheperson.Tobeforcedtostealheraway,notonlyfromthem,butfromherself!AndmustIbebroughttoimploreforgivenessandreconciliationfromtheHarlowes?--Begtobeacknowledgedasthesonofagloomytyrant,whoseonlyboastishisriches?Asabrothertoawretch,whohasconceivedimmortalhatredtome;andtoasisterwhowasbeneathmyattempts,orIwouldhavehadherinmyownway,andthatwithatenthpartofthetroubleandpainsthathersisterhascostme;and,finally,asanephewtouncles,whovaluethemselvesupontheiracquiredfortunes,wouldinsultmeascreepingtothemonthataccount?--ForbiditinthebloodoftheLovelaces,thatyourlast,and,letmesay,notthemeanestofyourstock,shouldthuscreep,thusfawn,thuslickthedust,foraWIFE--!

Proceedanon.

LETTERXVIII


ButisitnotthedivineCLARISSA[Harloweletmenotsay;mysoul

spurnsthemallbuther]whomIamthusbyapplicationthreatening?--Ifvirtuebethetruenobility,howissheennobled,andhowshallanalliancewithherennoble,werenotcontemptduetothefamilyfromwhomshesprangandpreferstome!

Butagain,letmestop.--Istherenotsomethingwrong,hastherenotbeensomethingwrong,inthisdivinecreature?Andwillnotthereflectionsuponthatwrong(whatthoughitmaybeconstruedinmyfavour?*)makemeunhappy,whennoveltyhaslostitscharms,andwhen,mindandperson,sheisallmyown?Libertinesarenicer,ifatallnice,thanothermen.Theyseldommeetwiththestandofvirtueinthewomenwhomtheyattempt.And,bythefrailtyofthosetheyhavetriumphedover,theyjudgeofalltherest.'Importunityandopportunity

nowomanisproofagainst,especiallyfromtheperseveringlover,whoknowshowtosuittemptationstoinclinations:'This,thouknowest,isaprimearticleoftherake'screed.

*Theparticularattentionofsuchofthefairsex,asaremoreapttoreadforthesameofamusementthaninstruction,isrequestedtothisletterofMr.Lovelace.

Andwhat!(methinksthouaskestwithsurprise)Dostthouquestionthismostadmirableofwomen?--ThevirtueofaCLARISSAdostthouquestion?

Idonot,Idarenotquestionit.Myreverenceforherwillnotletmedirectlyquestionit.Butletme,inmyturn,askthee--Isnot,maynothervirtuebefoundedratherinpridethaninprinciple?Whosedaughterisshe?--Andisshenotadaughter?Ifimpeccable,howcameshebyherimpeccability?Theprideofsettinganexampletohersexhasrunawaywithherhitherto,andmayhavemadehertillnowinvincible.Butisnotthatprideabated?Whatmaynotbothmenandwomenbebroughttodoinamortifiedstate?Whatmindissuperiortocalamity?Prideisperhapstheprincipalbulwarkoffemalevirtue.Humbleawoman,andmayshenotbeeffectuallyhumbled?



ThenwhosaysMissClarissaHarloweistheparagonofvirtue?--Isvirtueitself?

Allwhoknowher,andhaveheardofher,itwillbeanswered.

Commonbruit!--Isvirtuetobeestablishedbycommonbruitonly?--Hashervirtueeverbeenproved?--Whohasdaredtotryhervirtue?

Itoldthee,Iwouldsitdowntoarguewithmyself;andIhavedrawnmyselfintoargumentationbeforeIwasaware.

Letmeenterintoastrictdiscussionofthissubject.

IknowhowungenerousanappearancewhatIhavesaid,andwhatIhavefurthertosay,onthistopic,willhavefromme:ButamInotbringingvirtuetothetouchstone,withaviewtoexaltit,ifitcomeouttobeproof?--'Avauntthen,foronemoment,allconsiderationthatmayarisefromaweaknesswhichsomewouldmiscallgratitude;andisoftentimesthecorrupterofaheartmostignoble!'

Tothetestthen--andIwillbringthischarmingcreaturetothestrictesttest,'thatallthesex,whomaybeshewnanypassagesinmyletters,'[andIknowthoucheeresttheheartsofallthyacquaintance

withsuchdetachedpartsofmineastendnottodishonourcharactersorrevealnames:andthisgivesmeanappetitetoobligetheebyinterlardment,]'thatallthesex,Isay,mayseewhattheyoughttobe;whatisexpectedfromthem;andiftheyhavetodealwithapersonofreflectionandpunctilio,[ofpride,ifthouwilt,]howcarefultheyoughttobe,byaregularanduniformconduct,nottogivehimcausetothinklightlyofthemforfavoursgranted,whichmaybeinterpretedintonaturalweakness.Forisnotawifethekeeperofaman'shonour?Anddonotherfaultsbringmoredisgraceuponahusbandthanevenuponherself?'

Itisnotfornothing,Jack,thatIhavedislikedthelifeofshackles.

Tothetestthen,asIsaid,sincenowIhavethequestionbroughthometome,WhetherIamtohaveawife?Andwhethershebetobeawifeatthefirstoratthesecondhand?

Iwillproceedfairly.Idothedearcreaturenotonlystrictbutgenerousjustice;forIwilltryherbyherownjudgment,aswellasbyourprinciples.

Sheblamesherselfforhavingcorrespondedwithme,amanoffreecharacter;andoneindeedwhosefirstviewitwastodrawherintothiscorrespondence;andwhosucceededinitbymeansunknowntoherself.

'Now,whatwereherinducementstothiscorrespondence?'Ifnotwhather

nicenessmakesherthinkblameworthy,whydoessheblameherself?

Hasshebeencapableoferror?Ofpersistinginthaterror?

Whoeverwasthetempter,thatisnotthething;norwhatthetemptation.Thefact,theerror,isnowbeforeus.

Didshepersistinitagainstparentalprohibition?

Sheownsshedid.



Wasadaughtereverknownwhohadhighernotionsofthefilialduty,oftheparentalauthority?

Never.

'Whatmustbetheinducements,howstrong,thatweretoostrongforduty,inadaughtersodutiful?--Whatmustmythoughtshavebeenoftheseinducements,whatmyhopesbuiltuponthematthetime,takeninthislight?'

Well,butitwillbesaid,Thatherprincipalviewwastopreventmischiefbetweenherbrotherandherotherfriends,andthemanvilelyinsultedbythemall.

Butwhyshouldshebemoreconcernedforthesafetyofothersthantheywerefortheirown?Andhadnottherencounterthenhappened?'Wasapersonofvirtuetobeprevailedupontobreakthroughherapparent,heracknowledgedduty,uponanyconsideration?'And,ifnot,wasshetobesoprevailedupontopreventanapprehendedevilonly?

Thou,Lovelace,thetempter(thouwiltagainbreakoutandsay)tobetheaccuser!

ButIamnottheaccuser.Iamtheargueronly,and,inmyheart,allthetimeacquitandworshipthedivinecreature.'Butletme,nevertheless,examine,whethertheacquitalbeowingtohermerit,ortomyweakness--Weaknessthetruenameoflove!'

Butshallwesupposeanothermotive?--AndthatisLOVE;amotivewhichalltheworldwillexcuseherfor.'Butletmetellalltheworldthatdo,notbecausetheyought,butbecausealltheworldisapttobemisledbyit.'

LetLOVEthenbethemotive:--Loveofwhom?

ALovelace,istheanswer.

'IstherebutoneLovelaceintheworld?MaynotmoreLovelacesbeattractedbysofineafigure?Bysuchexaltedqualities?Itwashercharacterthatdrewmetoher:anditwasherbeautyandgoodsensethatrivettedmychains:andnowalltogethermakemethinkherasubjectworthyofmyattempts,worthyofmyambition.'

Buthasshehadthecandour,theopenness,toacknowledgethatlove?

Shehasnot.

'Wellthen,iflovebeatthebottom,istherenotanotherfaultlurkingbeneaththeshadowofthatlove?--Hasshenotaffectation?--Orisit

prideofheart?'

Andwhatresults?--'IsthenthedivineClarissacapableoflovingamanwhomsheoughtnottolove?Andisshecapableofaffectation?Andishervirtuefoundedinpride?--And,iftheanswertothesequestionsbeaffirmative,mustshenotthenbeawoman?'

Andcanshekeepthisloveatbay?Canshemakehim,whohasbeenaccustomedtotriumphoverotherwomen,tremble?Cansheconductherself,astomakehim,attimes,questionwhethersheloveshimor



anyman;'yetnothavetherequisitecommandoverthepassionitselfinstepsofthehighestconsequencetoherhonour,asshethinks,'[Iamtryingher,Jack,byherownthoughts,]'butsufferherselftobeprovokedtopromisetoabandonherfather'shouse,andgooffwithhim,knowinghischaracter;andevenconditioningnottomarrytillimprobablyandremotecontingenciesweretocometopass?Whatthoughtheprovocationsweresuchaswouldjustifyanyotherwoman;yetwasaCLARISSAtobesusceptibletoprovocationswhichshethinksherselfhighlycensurableforbeingsomuchmovedby?'

Butletusseethedearcreatureresolvedtorevokeherpromise,yetmeetingherlover;aboldandintrepidman,whowasmorethanoncebeforedisappointedbyher;andwhocomes,assheknows,preparedtoexpectthefruitsofherappointment,andresolvedtocarryheroff.Andletusseehimactuallycarryingheroff,andhavingherathismercy--'Maytherenotbe,Irepeat,otherLovelaces;otherlikeintrepid,perseveringenterprizers;althoughtheymaynotgotoworkinthesameway?

'AndhasthenaCLARISSA(herselfherjudge)failed?--Insuchgreatpointsfailed?--Andmayshenotfurtherfail?--Failinthegreatestpoint,towhichalltheotherpoints,inwhichshehasfailed,havebutanaturaltendency?'

Norsaythou,thatvirtue,intheeyeofHeaven,isasmuchamanlyasawomanlygrace.ByvirtueinthisplaceImeanchastity,andtobesuperiortotemptation;myClarissaoutofthequestion.Noraskthou,shallthemanbeguilty,yetexpectthewomantobeguiltless,andevenunsuspectible?Urgethounotthesearguments,Isay,sincethewife,byafailure,maydomuchmoreinjurytothehusband,thanthehusbandcandotothewife,andnotonlytoherhusband,buttoallhisfamily,byobtrudinganotherman'schildrenintohispossessions,perhapstotheexclusionof(atleasttoaparticipationwith)hisown;hebelievingthemallthetimetobehis.IntheeyeofHeaven,therefore,thesincannotbeequal.BesidesIhavereadinsomeplacesthatthewomanwasmadefortheman,notthemanforthewoman.Virtuethenislesstobedispensedwithinthewomanthanintheman.

Thou,Lovelace,(methinkssomebettermanthanthyselfwillsay,)toexpectsuchperfectioninawoman!

Yes,I,mayIanswer.WasnotthegreatCaesaragreatrakeastowomen?Washenotcalled,byhisverysoldiers,ononeofhistriumphantentriesintoRome,thebald-patedlecher?andwarninggivenofhimtothewives,aswellastothedaughterofhisfellow-citizens?YetdidnotCaesarrepudiatehiswifeforbeingonlyincompanywithClodius,orratherbecauseClodius,thoughbysurpriseuponher,wasfoundinhers?Andwhatwasthereasonhegaveforit?--Itwasthis,(thougharakehimself,asIhavesaid,)andonlythis--ThewifeofCaesarmustnotbesuspected!--

CaesarwasnotaproudermanthanLovelace.

Gotothen,Jack;norsay,norletanybodysay,inthyhearing,thatLovelace,amanvaluinghimselfuponhisancestry,issingularinhisexpectationsofawife'spurity,thoughnotpurehimself.

AstomyCLARISSA,IownthatIhardlythinkthereeverwassuchanangelofawoman.Buthasshenot,asabove,alreadytakensteps,whichsheherselfcondemns?Steps,whichtheworldandherownfamilydid



notthinkhercapableoftaking?Andforwhichherownfamilywillnotforgiveher?

Northinkitstrange,thatIrefusetohearanythingpleadedinbehalfofastandardvirtuefromhighprovocations.'Arenotprovocationsandtemptationsthetestsofvirtue?Astandardvirtuemustnotbeallowedtobeprovokedtodestroyorannihilateitself.

'Maynotthenthesuccessofhim,whocouldcarryherthusfar,beallowedtobeanencouragementforhimtotrytocarryherfarther?''Tisbuttotry.Whowillbeafraidofatrailforthisdivinecreature?'Thouknowest,thatIhavemorethanonce,twice,orthrice,puttothefierytrialyoungwomenofnameandcharacter;andneveryetmetwithonewhoheldoutamonth;norindeedsolongascouldpuzzlemyinvention.Ihaveconcludedagainstthewholesexuponit.'Andnow,ifIhavenotfoundavirtuethatcannotbecorrupted,Iwillswearthatthereisnotonesuchinthewholesex.Isnotthenthewholesexconcernedthatthistrialshouldbemade?Andwhoisitthatknowsthislady,thatwouldnotstakeuponherheadthehonourofthewhole?--Letherwhowouldrefuseitcomeforth,anddesiretostandinherplace.

Imustassurethee,thatIhaveaprodigioushighopinionofvirtue;asIhaveofallthosegracesandexcellencieswhichIhavenotbeenabletoattainmyself.Everyfree-liverwouldnotsaythis,northink

thus--everyargumentheuses,condemnatoryofhisownactions,assomewouldthink.Butingenuousnesswaseverasignalpartofmycharacter.

Satan,whomthoumayest,ifthouwilt,inthiscase,callmyinstigator,putthegoodmanofoldupontheseveresttrial.'Tohisbehaviourunderthesetrialsthatgoodmanowedhishonourandhisfuturerewards.'Aninnocentperson,ifdoubted,mustwishtobebroughttoafairandcandidtrial.

Rinaldo,indeed,inAriosto,puttheMantuaKnight'scupoftrialfromhim,whichwastobetheproofofhiswife'schastity*--Thiswashisargumentforforbearingtheexperiment:'WhyshouldIseekathinkIshouldbelothtofind?Mywifeisawoman.Thesexisfrail.Icannot

believebetterofherthanIdo.Itwillbetomyownloss,ifIfindreasontothinkworse.'ButRinaldowouldnothaverefusedthetrialofthelady,beforeshebecamehiswife,andwhenhemighthavefoundhisaccountindetectingher.

*Thestorytellsus,thatwhoeverdrankofthiscup,ifhiswifewerechaste,coulddrinkwithoutspilling;ifotherwise,thecontrary.

Formypart,Iwouldnothaveputthecupfromme,thoughmarried,haditbeenbutinhopeoffindingreasontoconfirmmygoodopinionofmywife'shonour;andthatImightknowwhetherIhadasnakeoradovein

mybosom.

Tomypoint--'Whatmustthatvirtuebewhichwillnotstandatrial?--Whatthatwomanwhowouldwishtoshunit?'

Well,then,atrialseemsnecessaryforthefurthestestablishmentofthehonourofsoexcellentacreature.

Andwhoshallputhertothistrial?Who,butthemanwhohas,asshethinks,alreadyinducedherinlesserpointstoswerve?--Andthisfor



herownsakeinadoublesense--notonly,ashehasbeenabletomakesomeimpression,butassheregretstheimpressionmade;andsomaybepresumedtobeguardedagainsthisfurtherattempts.

Thesituationsheisatpresentin,itmustbeconfessedisadisadvantageousonetoher:but,ifsheovercome,thatwillredoundtoherhonour.

Shunnot,therefore,mydearsoul,furthertrials,norhatemeformakingthem.--'Forwhatwomancanbesaidtobevirtuoustillshehasbeentried?

'Norisoneeffort,onetrial,tobesufficient.Why?Becauseawoman'sheartmayatonetimebeadamant,atanotherwax'--asIhaveoftenexperienced.Andso,nodoubt,hastthou.

Afinetimeofit,methinks,thousayest,wouldthewomanhave,iftheywerealltobetried--!

But,Jack,Iamnotforthatneither.ThoughIamarake,Iamnotarake'sfriend;exceptthineandcompany's.

Andbethisoneofthemoralsofmytediousdiscussion--'Letthelittlerogueswhowouldnotbeputtothequestion,asImaycallit,choose

accordingly.Letthemprefertotheirfavourgoodhonestsoberfellows,whohavenotbeenusedtoplaydog'stricks:whowillbewillingtotakethemastheyoffer;and,whobeingtolerablethemselves,arenotsuspiciousofothers.'

Butwhat,methinksthouaskest,istobecomeoftheladyifshefail?

What?--Whywillshenot,'ifoncesubdued,bealwayssubdued?'Anotherofourlibertinemaxims.Andwhatanimmensepleasuretoamarriage-hater,whatrapturetothought,tobeabletoprevailuponsuchawomanasMissClarissaHarlowetolivewithhim,withoutrealchangeofname!

Butifsheresist--ifnoblyshestandhertrial?--

WhythenIwillmarryher;andblessmystartsforsuchanangelofawife.

Butwillshenothatethee?--willshenotrefuse--

No,no,Jack!--Circumstancedandsituatedasweare,Iamnotafraidofthat.Andhateme!Whyshouldshehatethemanwholovesheruponproof?

Andthenforalittlehintatreprisal--amInotjustifiedinmyresolutionsoftryinghervirtue,whoisresolved,asImaysay,totrymine?Whohasdeclaredthatshewillnotmarryme,tillshehashopesof

myreformation?

Andnow,toputanendtothissoberargumentation,Wiltthounotthyself(whomIhavesupposedanadvocateforthelady,becauseIknowthatLordM.hasputtheeuponusingtheinteresthethinksthouhastinme,topersuademetoenterthepale;wiltthounotthyself)allowmetotryifIcannotawakenthewomaninher?--Totryifshe,withallthatglowingsymmetryofparts,andthatfullbloomofvernalgraces,bywhichsheattractseveryeye,bereallyinflexibleastothegrandarticle?



Letmebeginthen,asopportunitypresents--Iwill;andwatchhereverysteptofindoneslidingone;hereverymomenttofindthemomentcritical.Andtherather,asshesparesmenot,buttakeseveryadvantagethatofferstopuzzleandplagueme;norexpectnorthinksmetobeagoodman.

Ifshebeawoman,andloveme,Ishallsurelycatchheroncetripping:forlovewaseveratraitortoitsharbourer:andlovewithin,andIwithout,shewillbemorethanwoman,asthepoetsays,orIlessthanman,ifIsucceednot.

Now,Belford,allisout.Theladyismine;shallbemoremine.Marriage,Isee,isinmypower,nowsheisso.Elseperhapsithadnot.IfIcanhaveherwithoutmarriage,whocanblamemefortrying?Ifnot,greatwillbeherglory,andmyfutureconfidence.AndwellwillshemeritthesacrificeIshallmakeherofmyliberty;andfromallhersexhonoursnexttodivine,forgivingaproof,'thattherewasonceawomanwhosevirtuenotrials,nostratagems,notemptations,evenfromthemanshehatednot,couldoverpower.'

Nowwiltthouseeallmycirculation:asinaglasswiltthouseeit.--CABALA,however,istheword;*norletthesecretescapetheeeveninthydreams.

*Thisword,wheneverusedbyanyofthesegentlemen,wasagreedtoimplyaninviolablesecret.

Nobodydoubtsthatsheistobemywife.LetherpassforsuchwhenIgivetheword.'Meantimereformationshallbemystalking-horse;someoneofthewomeninLondon,ifIcangetherhither,mybird.'Andsomuchforthistime.

LETTERXIX

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INANSWERTOLETTERSIX.XV.]

Donotbesomuchconcerned,mydearestfriend,atthebickeringsbetweenmymotherandme.Weloveoneanotherdearlynotwithstanding.Ifmymotherhadnotmetofindfaultwith,shemustfindfaultwithsomebodyelse.Andastome,Iamaverysaucygirl;andwerenotthisoccasion,therewouldbesomeother,toshewit.

Youhaveheardmesay,thatthiswasalwaysthecasebetweenus.

Youcouldnototherwisehaveknownit.Forwhenyouwaswithus,youharmonizedusboth;and,indeed,Iwasalwaysmoreafraidofyouthanofmymother.Butthenthataweisaccompaniedwithlove.Yourreproofs,asIhavealwaysfound,aresocharminglymildandinstructive;soevidentlycalculatedtoimprove,andnottoprovoke;thatageneroustempermustbeamendedbythem.Buthearnow,mindmygoodmamma,whenyouarenotwithus--Youshall,Itellyou,Nancy.Iwillhaveitso.Don'tIknowbest,Iwon'tbedisobeyed.Howcanadaughterofspiritsbearsuchlanguage;suchlookstoowiththelanguage;andnothavealongingmindtodisobey?



Don'tadviseme,mydear,tosubscribetomymother'sprohibitionofcorrespondencewithyou.Shehasnoreasonforit.Norwouldsheofherownjudgmenthaveprohibitedit.Thatoddoldamblingsoulyouruncle,(whosevisitsarefrequenterthanever,)instigatedbyyourmaliciousandselfishbrotherandsisterintheoccasion.Andtheyhaveonlyborrowedmymother'slips,atthedistancetheyarefromyou,forasortofspeakingtrumpetforthem.Theprohibition,oncemoreIsay,cannotcomefromherheart:Butifitdid,issomuchdangertobeapprehendedfrommycontinuingtowritetooneofmyownsex,asifIwrotetooneoftheother?Don'tletdejectionanddisappointment,andthecourseofoppressionwhichyouhaverunthrough,weakenyourmind,mydearestcreature,andmakeyouseeinconveniencieswheretherepossiblycannotbeany.Ifyourtalentisscribbling,asyoucallit;soismine--andIwillscribbleon,atallopportunities;andtoyou;letthemsaywhattheywill.Norletyourlettersbefilledwiththeself-accusationsyoumention:thereisnocauseforthem.IwishthatyourAnnaHowe,whocontinuesinhermother'shouse,werebuthalfsogoodasMissClarissaHarlowe,whohasbeendrivenoutofherfather's.

IwillsaynothinguponyourlettertoyoursistertillIseetheeffectitwillhave.Youhope,youtellme,thatyoushallhaveyourmoneyandclothessentyou,notwithstandingmyopiniontothecontrary--Iamsorrytohaveittoacquaintyou,thatIhavejustnowheard,thattheyhave

satincounciluponyourletter;andthatyourmotherwastheonlypersonwhowasforsendingyouyourthings,andwasoverruled.Ichargeyouthereforetoacceptofmyoffer,asbymylast:andgivemeparticulardirectionsforwhatyouwant,thatIcansupplyyouwithbesides.

Don'tsetyourthoughtsomuchuponareconciliationastopreventyourlayingholdofanyhandsomeopportunitytogiveyourselfaprotector;suchaoneasthemanwillbe,who,Iimagine,husband-like,willletnobodyinsultyoubuthimself.

Whatcouldhemeanbylettingslipsuchaoneasthatyoumention?Idon'tknowhowtoblameyou;forhowyougobeyondsilenceandblushes,

whenthefoolishfellowcamewithhisobservancesoftherestrictionswhichyoulaidhimunderwheninanothersituation?But,asItoldyouabove,youreallystrikepeopleintoawe.And,uponmyword,youdidnotsparehim.

IrepeatwhatIsaidinmylast,thatyouhaveaveryniceparttoact:andIwilladd,thatyouhaveamindthatismuchtoodelicateforyourpart.Butwhentheloverisexalted,theladymustbehumbled.Heisnaturallyproudandsaucy.Idoubtyoumustengagehispride,whichhecallshishonour:andthatyoumustthrowoffalittlemoreoftheveil.AndIwouldhaveyourestrainyourwishesbeforehim,thatyouhadnotmethim,andthelike.Whatsignifieswishing,mydear?Hewillnotbearit.Youcanhardlyexpectthathewill.

Nevertheless,itvexedmetotheverybottomofmypride,thatanywretchofthatsexshouldbeabletotriumphoverClarissa.

Icannot,however,butsay,thatIamcharmedwithyourspirit.Somuchsweetness,wheresweetnessisrequisite;somuchspirit,wherespiritiscalledfor--whatatruemagnanimity!

ButIdoubt,inyourpresentcircumstances,youmustendeavourafteralittlemoreofthereserve,incaseswhereyouaredispleasedwithhim,



andpalliatealittle.Thathumilitywhichheputsonwhenyouriseuponhim,isnotnaturaltohim.

MethinksIseethemanhesitating,andlookinglikethefoolyoupainthim,underyourcorrectivesuperiority!--Butheisnotafool.Don'tputhimuponminglingresentmentwithhislove.

Youareveryserious,mydear,inthefirstofthetwolettersbeforeme,inrelationtoMr.Hickmanandme;andinrelationtomymotherandme.Butastothelatter,youmustnotbetoograve.Ifwearenotwelltogetheratonetime,wearenotilltogetheratanother.AndwhileIamabletomakehersmileinthemidstofthemostangryfitsheeverfellintoonthepresentoccasion,(thoughsometimesshewouldnotifshecouldhelpit,)itisaverygoodsign;asignthatdispleasurecannevergodeep,orbelasting.Andthenakindword,orkindlook,toherfavouriteHickman,setstheoneintoraptures,andtheotherintolerablehumour,atanytime.

Butyourcasepainsmeatheart;andwithallmylevity,boththegoodfolksmostsometimespartakeofthatpain;norwillitbeover,aslongasyouareinastateofuncertainty;andespeciallyasIwasnotabletoprevailforthatprotectionforyouwhichwouldhavepreventedtheunhappystep,thenecessityforwhichweboth,withsomuchreason,deplore.

Ihaveonlytoadd(andyetitisneedlesstotellyou)thatIam,andwilleverbe,

Youraffectionatefriendandservant,ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE

Youtellme,mydear,thatmyclothesandthelittlesumofmoneyIleftbehindme,willnotbesentme.--ButIwillstillhope.Itisyetearlydays.Whentheirpassionssubside,theywillbetterconsiderofthematter;andespeciallyasIhavemyeverdearandexcellentmotherformyfriendinthisrequest!Othesweetindulgence!Howhasmyheartbled,andhowdoesitstillbleedforher!

Youadvisemenottodependuponareconciliation.Idonot,Icannotdependuponit.Butnevertheless,itisthewishnextmyheart.Andastothisman,whatcanIdo?Yousee,thatmarriageisnotabsolutelyinmyownpower,ifIwereinclinedtopreferittothetrialwhichIthinkIoughttohaveprincipallyinviewtomakeforareconciliation.

Yousay,heisproudandinsolent--indeedheis.Butcanitbeyouropinion,thatheintendstohumblemedowntothelevelofhismeanpride?

Andwhatmeanyou,mydearfriend,whenyousay,thatImustthrowoffalittlemoreoftheveil?--IndeedIneverknewthatIworeone.Letmeassureyou,thatifIneverseeanythinginMr.Lovelacethatlookslikeadesigntohumbleme,hisinsolenceshallnevermakemediscoveraweaknessunworthyofapersondistinguishedbyyourfriendship;thatis



tosay,unworthyeitherofmysex,orofmyformerself.

ButIhope,asIamoutofallotherprotection,thatheisnotcapableofmeanorlowresentments.Ifhehashadanyextraordinarytroubleonmyaccount,mayhenotthankhimselfforit?Hemay;andlayit,ifhepleases,tohischaracter;which,asIhavetoldhim,gaveatleastapretencetomybrotheragainsthim.Andthen,didIevermakehimanypromises?DidIeverprofessaloveforhim?DidIeverwishforthecontinuanceofhisaddress?Hadnotmybrother'sviolenceprecipitatedmatters,wouldnotmyindifferencetohiminalllikelihood(asIdesigneditshould)havetiredouthisproudspirit,*andmakehimsetoutforLondon,whereheusedchieflytoreside?Andifhehad,wouldnottherehavebeenanendofallhispretensionsandhopes?FornoencouragementhadIgivenhim;nordidIthencorrespondwithhim.Nor,believeme,shouldIhavebeguntodoso--thefatalrencounternothavingthenhappened;whichdrewmeinafterwardsforothers'sakes(foolthatIwas!)andnotformyown.Andcanyouthink,orcanhe,thateventhisbuttemporarily-intendedcorrespondence(which,bytheway,mymother*connivedat)wouldhaveendedthus,hadInotbeendrivenononehand,andteasedontheother,tocontinueit,theoccasionwhichhadatfirstinduceditcontinuing?Whatpretencethenhashe,wereItobeabsolutelyinhispower,toavengehimselfonmeforthefaultsofothers,andthroughwhichIhavesufferedmorethanhe?Itcannot,cannotbe,thatIshouldhavecausetoapprehendhimto

besoungenerous,sobadaman.

*SeeVol.I.LetterIV.

Youbidmenottobeconcernedatthebickeringsbetweenyourmotherandyou.CanIavoidconcern,whenthosebickeringsareonmyaccount?Thattheyareraised(instigatedshallIsay?)bymyuncle,andmyotherrelations,surelymustaddtomyconcern.

ButImustobserve,perhapstoocriticallyforthestatemymindisinatpresent,thattheverysentencesyougivefromyourmother,asinso

manyimperatives,whichyoutakeamiss,areveryseverereflectionsuponyourself.Forinstance--Youshall,Itellyou,Nancy,impliesthatyouhaddisputedherwill--andsooftherest.

Andfurtherletmeobserve,withrespecttowhatyousay,thattherecannotbethesamereasonforaprohibitionofcorrespondencewithme,astherewasofminewithMr.Lovelace;thatIthoughtaslittleofbadconsequencesfrommycorrespondencewithhimatthetime,asyoucandofromyourswithmenow.But,ifobediencebeaduty,thebreachofitisafault,howevercircumstancesmaydiffer.Surelythereisnomeritinsettingupourownjudgmentagainstthejudgmentsofourparents.Andifitispunishablesotodo,Ihavebeenseverelypunished;andthatiswhatIwarnedyouoffrommyowndearexperience.

Yet,Godforgiveme!Iadvisethusagainstmyselfwithverygreatreluctance:and,tosaytruth,havenotstrengthofmind,atpresent,todeclineitmyself.But,ifmyoccasiongonotoff,Iwilltakeitintofurtherconsideration.

Yougivemeverygoodadviceinrelationtothisman;andIthankyouforit.Whenyoubidmebemoreuponthereservewithhiminexpressingmydispleasure,perhapsImaytryforit:buttopalliate,asyoucallit,that,mydearestMissHowe,cannotbedone,by



Yourown,CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERXXI


Youmaybelieve,mydearMissHowe,thatthecircumstancesofthenoiseandoutcrywithinthegarden-door,onMondaylast,gavemenosmalluneasiness,tothinkthatIwasinthehandsofaman,whocould,bysuchvilepremeditation,layasnaretotrickmeoutofmyself,asIhavesofrequentlycalledit.

Wheneverhecameinmysight,thethoughtofthisgavemeanindignationthatmadehispresencedisgustfultome;andthemore,asIfanciedIbeheldinhisfaceatriumphwhichreproachedmyweaknessonthataccount;althoughperhapsitwasonlythesamevivacityandplacidnessthatgenerallysituponhisfeatures.

Iwasresolvedtotaskhimuponthissubject,thefirsttimeIcould

havepatiencetoenteruponitwithhim.For,besidesthatitpiquedmeexcessivelyfromthenatureoftheartifice,Iexpectedshufflingandevasion,ifhewereguilty,thatwouldhaveincensedme:and,ifnotconfessedlyguilty,suchunsatisfactorydeclarationsasstillwouldhavekeptmyminddoubtfulanduneasy;andwould,uponeverynewoffencethathemightgiveme,sharpenmydisgusttome.

IhavehadtheopportunityIwaitedfor;andwilllaybeforeyoutheresult.

Hewasmakinghiscourttomygoodopinioninverypoliteterms,andwithgreatseriousnesslamentingthathehadlostit;declaring,thatheknewnothowhehaddeservedtodoso;attributingtomeanindifference

tohim,thatseemed,tohisinfiniteconcern,hourlytoincrease,Andhebesoughtmetolethimknowmywholemind,thathemighthaveanopportunityeithertoconfesshisfaultsandamendthem,orclearhisconducttomysatisfaction,andtherebyentitlehimselftoagreatershareofmyconfidence.

Iansweredhimwithquickness--Then,Mr.Lovelace,Iwilltellyouonethingwithafrankness,thatis,perhaps,moresuitabletomycharacterthantoyours,[Hehopednot,hesaid,]whichgivesmeaverybadopinionofyou,asadesigning,artfulman.

Iamallattention,Madam.

Inevercanthinktolerablyofyou,whilethenoiseandvoiceIheardatthegarden-door,whichputmeintotheterroryoutooksomuchadvantageof,remainsunaccountedfor.Tellmefairly,tellmecandidly,thewholeofthatcircumstance;andofyourdealingswiththatwickedJosephLeman;and,accordingtoyourexplicitnessinthisparticular,Ishallformajudgmentofyourfutureprofessions.

Iwill,withoutreserve,mydearestlife,saidhe,tellyouthewhole;andhopethatmysincerityintherelationwillatoneforanythingyoumaythinkwronginthefact.



'Iknewnothing,saidhe,ofthisman,thisLeman,andshouldhavescornedaresorttosolowamethodasbribingtheservantofanyfamilytoletmeintothesecretsofthatfamily,ifIhadnotdetectedhiminattemptingtocorruptaservantofmine,toinformhimofallmymotions,ofallmysupposedintrigues,and,inshort,ofeveryactionofmyprivatelife,aswellasofmycircumstancesandengagements;andthisformotivestooobvioustobedweltupon.

'Myservanttoldmeofhisoffers,andIorderedhim,unknowntothefellow,toletmehearaconversationthatwastopassbetweenthem.

'Inthemidstofit,andjustashehadmadeanofferofmoneyforaparticularpieceofintelligence,promisingmorewhenprocured,Ibrokeinuponthem,andbybluster,callingforaknifetocutoffhisears(oneofwhichItookholdof)inordertomakeapresentofit,asIsaid,tohisemployers,Iobligedhimtotellmewhotheywere.

'Yourbrother,Madam,andyouruncleAntony,henamed.

'Itwasnotdifficult,whenIhadgivenhimmypardononnamingthem,(afterIhadsetbeforehimtheenormityofthetaskhehadundertaken,andthehonourablenessofmyintentionstoyourdearself,)toprevailuponhim,byalargerreward,toserveme;since,atthesametime,he

mightpreservethefavourofyouruncleandbrother,asIdesiredtoknownothingbutwhatrelatedtomyselfandtoyou,inordertoguardusbothagainsttheeffectsofanill-will,whichallhisfellow-servants,aswellashimself,asheacknowledged,thoughtundeserved.

'Bythismeans,Iowntoyou,Madam,Ifrequentlyturnedhisprincipalsaboutuponapivotofmyown,unknowntothemselves:andthefellow,whoisalwayscallinghimselfaplainman,andboastingofhisconscience,wastheeasier,asIcondescendedfrequentlytoassurehimofmyhonourableviews;andasheknewthattheuseImadeofhisintelligence,inalllikelihood,preventedfatalmischiefs.

'Iwasthemorepleasedwithhisservices,as(letmeacknowledge

toyou,Madam)theyprocuredtoyou,unknowntoyourself,asafeanduninterruptedegress(whichperhapswouldnototherwisehavebeencontinuedtoyousolongasitwas)tothegardenandwood-house:forheundertook,tothem,towatchallyourmotions:andthemorecheerfully,(forthefellowlovesyou,)asitkeptoffthecuriosityofothers.'*

*SeeVol.II.LetterXXXVI.

So,mydear,itcomesout,thatImyselfwasobligedtothisdeepcontriver.

Isatinsilentastonishment;andthushewenton.

'Astothecircumstance,forwhichyouthinksohardlyofme,Idofreelyconfess,thathavingasuspicionthatyouwouldrevokeyourintentionofgettingaway,andinthatcaseapprehendingthatweshouldnothavethetimetogetherthatwasnecessaryforthatpurpose;Ihadorderedhimtokeepoffeverybodyhecouldkeepoff,andtobehimselfwithinaviewofthegarden-door;forIwasdetermined,ifpossible,toinduceyoutoadheretoyourresolution.'--



Butpray,Sir,interruptinghim,howcameyoutoapprehendthatIshouldrevokemyintention?Ihadindeeddepositedalettertothatpurpose;butyouhaditnot:andhow,asIhadreservedtomyselftheprivilegeofarevocation,didyouknow,butImighthaveprevaileduponmyfriends,andsohaverevokedupongoodgrounds?

'Iwillbeveryingenuous,Madam--Youhadmademehopethatifyouchangedyourmind,youwouldgivemeameetingtoapprizemeofthereasonsforit.Iwenttotheloosebricks,andIsawtheletterthere:andasIknewyourfriendswereimmovablyfixedintheirschemes,Idoubtednotbuttheletterwastorevokeorsuspendyourresolution;andprobablytoserveinsteadofameetingtoo.Ithereforeletitlie,thatifyoudidrevoke,youmightbeunderthenecessityofmeetingmeforthesakeoftheexpectationyouhadgivenme:andasIcameprepared,Iwasresolved,pardonme,Madam,whateverwereyourintentions,thatyoushouldnotgoback.HadItakenyourletterImusthavebeendeterminedbythecontentsofit,forthepresentatleast:butnothavingreceivedit,andyouhavingreasontothinkIwantednotresolutioninasituationsodesperate,tomakeyourfriendsapersonalvisit,Idependedupontheinterviewyouhadbidmehopefor.'

Wickedwretch,saidI;itismygrief,thatIgaveyouopportunitytotakesoexactameasureofmyweakness!--Butwouldyouhavepresumedtovisitthefamily,hadInotmetyou?

IndeedIwould.Ihadsomefriendsinreadiness,whoweretohaveaccompaniedmetothem.Andhadyourfatherrefusedtogivemeaudience,IwouldhavetakenmyfriendswithmetoSolmes.

AndwhatdidyouintendtodotoMr.Solmes?

Nottheleasthurt,hadthemanbeenpassive.

Buthadhenotbeenpassive,asyoucallit,whatwouldyouhavedonetoMr.Solmes?

Hewasloth,hesaidtotellme--yetnottheleasthurttohisperson.

Irepeatedmyquestion.

Ifhemusttellme,heonlyproposedtocarryoffthepoorfellow,andtohidehimforamonthortwo.Andthishewouldhavedone,letwhatwouldhavebeentheconsequence.

Waseversuchawretchheardof!--Isighedfromthebottomofmyheart;butbidhimproceedfromthepartIhadinterruptedhimat.

'Iorderedthefellow,asItoldyou,Madam,saidhe,tokeepwithinviewofthegarden-door:andifhefoundanyparleybetweenus,andanybodycoming(beforeyoucouldretreatundiscovered)whosecomingmight

beattendedwithviolenteffects,heshouldcryout;andthisnotonlyinordertosavehimselffromtheirsuspicionsofhim,buttogivemewarningtomakeoff,and,ifpossible,toinduceyou(Iownit,Madam)togooffwithme,accordingtoyourownappointment.AndIhopeallcircumstancesconsidered,andthedangerIwasinoflosingyouforever,thattheacknowledgementofthatcontrivance,orifyouhadnotmetme,thatuponSolmes,willnotprocuremeyourhatred:for,hadtheycomeasIexpectedaswellasyou,whatadespicablewretchhadIbeen,couldIhaveleftyoutotheinsultsofabrotherandotherofyourfamily,whosemercywascrueltywhentheyhadnotthepretencewith



whichthisdetectedinterviewwouldhavefurnishedthem!'

Whatawretch!saidI.--Butif,Sir,takingyourownaccountofthisstrangemattertobefact,anybodywerecoming,howhappenedit,thatIsawonlythatmanLeman(Ithoughtitwashe)outatthedoor,andatadistance,lookafterus?

Verylucky!saidhe,puttinghishandfirstinonepocket,theninanother--IhopeIhavenotthrownitaway--itis,perhaps,inthecoatIhadonyesterday--littledidIthinkitwouldbenecessarytobeproduced--butIlovetocometoademonstrationwheneverIcan--Imaybegiddy--Imaybeheedless.Iamindeed--butnoman,astoyou,Madam,everhadasincererheart.

Hethensteppingtotheparlour-door,calledhisservanttobringhimthecoathehadonyesterday.

Theservantdid.Andinthepocket,rumpledupasapaperheregardednot,hepulledoutaletter,writtenbythatJoseph,datedMondaynight;inwhich'hebegspardonforcryingoutsosoon--says,Thathisfearsofbeingdiscoveredtoactonbothsides,hadmadehimtaketherushingofalittledog(thatalwaysfollowshim)throughthephyllirea-hedge,forBetty'sbeingathand,orsomeofhismasters:andthatwhenhefoundhismistake,heopenedthedoorbyhisownkey(whichthecontriving

wretchconfessedhehadfurnishedhimwith)andinconsideratelyranoutinahurry,tohaveapprizedhimthathiscryingoutwasowingtohisfrightonly:'andheadded,'thattheywereuponthehuntforme,bythetimehereturned.*

*SeehisLettertoJosephLeman,Vol.III.No.III.towardstheend,wherehetellshim,hewouldcontriveforhimaletterofthisnaturetocopy.

Ishookmyhead--Deep!deep!deep!saidI,atthebest!--OMr.Lovelace!Godforgiveandreformyou!--Butyouare,Iseeplainly,(uponthewholeofyourownaccount,)averyartful,averydesigningman.

Love,mydearestlife,isingenious.NightanddayhaveIrackedmystupidbrain[OSir,thoughtI,notstupid!'Twerewellperhapsifitwere]tocontrivemethodstopreventthesacrificedesignedtobemadeofyou,andthemischiefthatmusthaveensueduponit:solittleholdinyouraffections:suchundeservedantipathyfromyourfriends:somuchdangeroflosingyouforeverfrombothcauses.IhavenothadforthewholefortnightbeforelastMonday,halfanhour'srestatatime.AndIowntoyou,Madam,thatIshouldneverhaveforgivenmyself,hadIomittedanycontrivanceorforethoughtthatwouldhavepreventedyourreturnwithoutme.

AgainIblamedmyselfformeetinghim:andjustly;fortherewere

manychancestoone,thatIhadnotmethim.AndifIhadnot,allhisfortnight'scontrivances,astome,wouldhavecometonothing;and,perhaps,ImightneverthelesshaveescapedSolmes.

Yet,hadheresolvedtocometoHarlowe-placewithhisfriends,andbeeninsulted,ashecertainlywouldhavebeen,whatmischiefsmighthavefollowed!

ButhisresolutionstorunawaywithandtohidethepoorSolmesforamonthorso,Omydear!whatawretchhaveIletrunawaywithme,



insteadofSolmes!

Iaskedhim,ifhethoughtsuchenormitiesasthese,suchdefiancesofthelawsofsociety,wouldhavepassedunpunished?

Hehadtheassurancetosay,withoneofhisusualgayairs,Thatheshouldbythismeanshavedisappointedhisenemies,andsavedmefromaforcedmarriage.Hehadnopleasureinsuchdesperatepushes.Solmeshewouldnothavepersonallyhurt.Hemusthavefledhiscountry,foratimeatleast:and,truly,ifhehadbeenobligedtodoso,(asallhishopesofmyfavourmusthavebeenatanend,)hewouldhavehadafellow-travellerofhisownsexoutofourfamily,whomIlittlethoughtof.

Waseversuchawretch!--Tobesurehemeantmybrother!

Andsuch,Sir,saidI,inhighresentment,aretheusesyoumakeofyourcorruptintelligencer--

Mycorruptintelligencer,Madam!interruptedme,Heistothishouryourbrother'saswellasmine.BywhatIhaveingenuouslytoldyou,youmayseewhobeganthiscorruption.Letmeassureyou,Madam,thattherearemanyfreethingswhichIhavebeenguiltyofasreprisals,inwhichIwouldnothavebeentheaggressor.

AllthatIshallfurthersayonthishead,Mr.Lovelace,isthis:thatasthisviledouble-facedwretchhasprobablybeenthecauseofgreatmischiefonbothsides,andstillcontinues,asyouown,hiswickedpractices,Ithinkitwouldbebutjust,tohavemyfriendsapprizedwhatacreatureheiswhomsomeofthemencourage.

Whatyouplease,Madam,astothat--myservice,aswellasyourbrother'sisnowalmostoverforhim.Thefellowhasmadeagoodhandofit.Hedoesnotintendtostaylonginhisplace.Heisnowactuallyintreatyforaninn,whichwilldohisbusinessforlife.Icantellyoufurther,thathemakeslovetoyoursister'sBetty:andthatbymyadvice.Theywillbemarriedwhenheisestablished.Aninnkeeper's

wifeiseveryman'smistress;andIhaveaschemeinmyheadtosetsomeenginesatworktomakeherrepenthersaucybehaviourtoyoutothelastdayofherlife.

Whatawickedschemeryouare,Sir!--Whoshallavengeuponyouthestillgreaterevilswhichyouhavebeenguiltyof?IforgiveBettywithallmyheart.Shewasnotmyservant;andbuttooprobably,inwhatshedid,obeyedthecommandsofhertowhomsheowedduty,betterthanIobeyedthosetowhomIowedmore.

Nomatterforthat,thewretchsaid[Tobesure,mydear,hemustdesigntomakemeafraidofhim]:Thedecreewasgoneout--Bettymustsmart--smarttoobyanactofherownchoice.Heloved,hesaid,to

makebadpeopletheirownpunishers.--Nay,Madam,excuseme;butifthefellow,ifthisJoseph,inyouropinion,deservespunishment,mineisacomplicated;amanandhiswifecannotwellsufferseparately,anditmaycomehometohimtoo.

Ihadnopatiencewithhim.Itoldhimso.Isee,Sir,saidI,Isee,whatamanIamwith.Yourrattlewarnsmeofthesnake.--AndawayIflung:leavinghimseeminglyvexed,andinconfusion.



LETTERXXII


Myplain-dealingwithMr.Lovelace,onseeinghimagain,andthefreedislikeIexpressedtohisways,hismanners,andhiscontrivances,aswellastohisspeeches,haveobligedhimtorecollecthimselfalittle.Hewillhaveit,thatthemenaceswhichhethrewoutjustnowagainstmybrotherandMr.Solmes,areonlytheeffectofanunmeaningpleasantry.Hehastoogreatastakeinhiscountry,hesays,tobeguiltyofsuchenterprisesasshouldlayhimunderanecessityofquittingitforever.Twentythings,particularly,hesays,hehassufferedJosephLemantotellhimof,thatwerenot,andcouldnotbetrue,inordertomakehimselfformidableinsomepeople'seyes,andthispurelywithaviewtopreventmischief.Heisunhappy,asfarasheknows,inaquickinvention;inhittingreadilyuponexpedients;andmanythingsarereportedofhimwhichheneversaid,andmanywhichheneverdid,andotherswhichhehasonlytalkedof,(asjustnow,)andwhichhehasforgotassoonasthewordshavepassedhislips.

Thismaybeso,inpart,mydear.Noonemansoyoungcouldbeso

wickedashehasbeenreportedtobe.Butsuchamanattheheadofsuchwretchesasheissaidtohaveathisbeck,allmenoffortuneandfearlessness,andcapableofsuchenterprisesasIhaveunhappilyfoundhimcapableof,whatisnottobeapprehendedfromhim!

Hiscarelessnessabouthischaracterisoneofhisexcuses:averybadone.Whathopecanawomanhaveofamanwhovaluesnothisownreputation?--Thesegaywretchesmay,inmixedconversation,divertforanhour,orso:butthemanofprobity,themanofvirtue,isthemanthatistobethepartnerforlife.Whatwoman,whocouldhelpit,wouldsubmitittothecourtesyofawretch,whoavowsadisregardtoallmoralsanctions,whetherhewillperformhispartofthematrimonialobligation,andtreatherwithtolerablepoliteness?

Withthesenotions,andwiththesereflections,tobethrownuponsuchamanmyself!--WouldtoHeaven--Butwhatavailwishesnow?--TowhomcanIfly,ifIwouldflyfromhim?

LETTERXXIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,APRIL14.

NeverdidIhearofsuchaparceloffoolishtoadsastheseHarlowes!--Why,Belford,theladymustfall,ifeveryhairofherheadwereaguardianangel,unlesstheyweretomakeavisibleappearanceforher,or,snatchingherfrommeatunawares,woulddrawherafterthemintothestarryregions.

AllIhadtoapprehend,was,thatadaughter,soreluctantlycarriedoff,wouldoffertermstoherfather,andwouldbeaccepteduponamutualconcedence;theytogiveupSolmes;shetogiveupme.AndsoIwascontrivingtodoallIcouldtoguardagainstthelatter.Butthey



seemresolvedtoperfecttheworktheyhavebegun.

Whatstupidcreaturesarethereintheworld!Thisfoolishbrothernottoknow,thathewhowouldbebribedtoundertakeabasethingbyone,wouldbeover-bribedtoretortthebaseness;especiallywhenhecouldbeputintothewaytoservehimselfbyboth!--Thou,Jack,wiltneverknowonehalfofmycontrivances.

HehererelatestheconversationbetweenhimandtheLady(uponthesubjectofthenoiseandexclamationshisagentmadeatthegarden-door)tothesameeffectasintheLady'sLetter,No.XXI.andproceedsexulting:

Whatacapacityforgloriousmischiefhasthyfriend!--Yethownearthetruthallofit!Theonlyderivation,myassertingthatthefellowmadethenoisesbymistake,andthroughfright,andnotbypreviousdirection:hadsheknowntheprecisetruth,heranger,tobesotakenin,wouldneverhaveletherforgiveme.

HadIbeenamilitaryhero,Ishouldhavemadegunpowderuseless;forIshouldhaveblownupallmyadversariesbydintofstratagem,turningtheirowndevicesuponthem.

Butthesefathersandmothers--Lordhelp'em!--Werenotthepowersofnaturestrongerthanthoseofdiscretion,andwerenotthatbusydeabonatoaffordhergenialaids,tilltardyprudencequalifiedparentstomanagetheirfutureoffspring,howfewpeoplewouldhavechildren!

JamesandArabellamayhavetheirmotives;butwhatcanbesaidforafatheractingasthisfatherhasacted?Whatforamother?Whatforanaunt?Whatforuncles?--Whocanhavepatiencewithsuchfellowsandfellowesses?

Soonwillthefaironehearhowhightheirfoolishresentmentsrunagainsther:andthenwillshe,itistobehoped,havealittlemoreconfidenceinme.ThenwillIbejealousthatshelovesmenotwiththe

preferencemyheartbuildsupon:thenwillIbringhertoconfessionsofgratefullove:andthenwillIkissherwhenIplease;andnotstandtrembling,asnow,likeahungryhound,whoseesadeliciousmorselwithinhisreach,(thefrothhanginguponhisvermilionjaws,)yetdaresnotleapatitforhislife.

ButIwasoriginallyabashfulmortal.IndeedIambashfulstillwithregardtothislady--Bashful,yetknowthesexsowell!--ButthatindeedisthereasonthatIknowitsowell:--For,Jack,Ihavehadabundantcause,whenIhavelookedintomyself,bywayofcomparisonwiththeothersex,toconcludethatabashfulmanhasagooddealofthesoulofawoman;andso,likeTiresias,cantellwhattheythink,andwhattheydriveat,aswellasthemselves.

ThemodestonesandI,particularly,areprettymuchuponapar.Thedifferencebetweenusisonly,whattheythink,Iact.Buttheimmodestonesout-dotheworstofusbyabar'slength,bothinthinkingandacting.

Oneargumentletmepleadinproofofmyassertion;Thatevenwerakeslovemodestyinawoman;whilethemodestwoman,astheyareaccounted,(thatistosay,theslyest,)love,andgenerallyprefer,animpudentman.Whencecanthisbe,butfromalikenessinnature?Andthismade



thepoetsay,Thateverwomanisarakeinherheart.Itconcernsthem,bytheiractions,toprovethecontrary,iftheycan.

ThushaveIreadinsomeofthephilosophers,Thatnowickednessiscomparabletothewickednessofawoman.*Canstthoutellme,Jack,whosaysthis?WasitSocrates?forhehadthedevilofawife--Orwho?OrisitSolomon?--KingSolomon--Thouremembresttohavereadofsuchaking,dostthounot?SOL-O-MON,Ilearned,inmyinfantstate[mymotherwasagoodwoman]toanswer,whenasked,Whowasthewisestman?--Butmyindulgentquestionerneveraskedmehowhecamebytheuninspiredpartofhiswisdom.

*Mr.LovelaceisasmuchoutinhisconjectureofSolomon,asofSocrates.ThepassageisinEcclesiasticus,chap.xxv.

Come,come,Jack,youandIarenotsoverybad,couldwebutstopwhereweare.

HethengivestheparticularsofwhatpassedbetweenhimandtheLadyonhismenacesrelatingtoherbrotherandMr.Solmes,andofhisdesigntopunishBettyBarnesandJosephLeman.

LETTERXXIV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAY,APR.14.

IwillnowgiveyoutheparticularsofaconversationthathasjustpassedbetweenMr.Lovelaceandme,whichImustcallagreeable.

Itbeganwithhistellingme,thathehadjustreceivedintelligence

thatmyfriendswereonasuddencometoaresolutiontolayasideallthoughtsofpursuingme,orofgettingmeback:andthatthereforeheattendedmetoknowofmypleasure;andwhatIwoulddo,orhavehimdo?

Itoldhim,thatIwouldhavehimleavemedirectly;andthat,whenitwasknowntoeverybodythatIwasabsolutelyindependentofhim,itwouldpass,thatIhadleftmyfather'shousebecauseofmybrother'sillusageofme:whichwasapleathatImightmakewithjustice,andtotheexcuseofmyfather,aswellasofmyself.

Hemildlyreplied,thatifwecouldbecertainthatmyrelationswouldadheretothistheirnewresolution,hecouldhavenoobjection,sincesuchwasmypleasure;but,ashewaswellassuredthattheyhadtakenit

onlyfromapprehensions,thatamoreactiveonemightinvolvemybrother(whohadbreathednothingbutrevenge)insomefatalmisfortune,therewastoomuchreasontobelievethattheywouldresumetheirformerpurposethemomenttheyshouldthinktheysafelymight.

This,Madam,saidhe,isarisqueIcannotrun.YouwouldthinkitstrangeifIcould.Andyet,assoonasIknewtheyhadsogivenout,Ithoughtitpropertoapprizeyouofit,andtakeyourcommandsuponit.

Letmehear,saidI,(willingtotryifhehadanyparticularview,)



whatyouthinkmostadvisable?

'Tisveryeasytosaythat,ifIdurst--ifImightnotoffendyou--ifitwerenottobreakconditionsthatshallbeinviolablewithme.

Saythen,Sir,whatyouwouldsay.Icanapproveordisapprove,asIthinkfit.

Hadnotthemanafineopportunityheretospeakout?--Hehad.Andthusheusedit.

Towave,Madam,whatIwouldsaytillIhavemorecouragetospeakout[Morecourage,--Mr.Lovelacemorecourage,mydear!]--IwillonlyproposewhatIthinkwillbemostagreeabletoyou--suppose,ifyouchoosenottogotoLadyBetty's,thatyoutakeaturncrossthecountrytoWindsor?

WhytoWindsor?

Becauseitisapleasantplace:becauseitliesinthewayeithertoBerkshire,toOxford,ortoLondon:Berkshire,whereLordM.isatpresent:Oxford,intheneighbourhoodofwhichlivesLadyBetty:London,whitheryoumayretireatyourpleasure:or,ifyouwillhaveitso,whitherImaygo,youstayingatWindsor;andyetbewithinaneasy

distanceofyou,ifanythingshouldhappen,orifyourfriendsshouldchangetheirnew-takenresolution.

Thisproposal,however,displeasedmenot.ButIsaid,myonlyobjectionwas,thedistanceofWindsorfromMissHowe,ofwhomIshouldbegladtobealwayswithintwoorthreehoursreachofbymessenger,ifpossible.

IfIhadthoughtsofanyotherplacethanWindsor,ornearertoMissHowe,hewantedbutmycommands,andwouldseekforproperaccommodations:but,fixasIpleased,fartherornearer,hehadservants,andtheyhadnothingelsetodobuttoobeyme.

Agratefulthingthenhenamedtome--TosendformyHannah,assoonas

Ishallbefixed;*unlessIwouldchooseoneoftheyounggentlewomenheretoattendme;bothofwhom,asIhadacknowledged,wereveryobliging;andheknewIhadgenerosityenoughtomakeitworththeirwhile.

*SeehisreasonsforproposingWindsor,LetterXXV.--andherHannah,LetterXXVI.

ThisofHannah,hemightsee,Itookverywell.IsaidIhadthoughtsofsendingforher,assoonasIgottomoreconvenientlodgings.Astotheseyounggentlewomen,itwerepitytobreakinuponthatusefulness

whichthewholefamilywereoftoeachother;eachhavingherproperpart,andperformingitwithanagreeablealacrity:insomuch,thatIlikedthemallsowell,thatIcouldevenpassmydaysamongthem,werehetoleaveme;bywhichmeansthelodgingswouldbemoreconvenienttomethannowtheywere.

Heneednotrepeathisobjectionstothisplace,hesaid:butastogoingtoWindsor,orwhereverelseIthoughtfit,orastohispersonalattendance,orleavingme,hewouldassureme(heveryagreeablysaid)thatIcouldproposenothinginwhichIthoughtmyreputation,andeven



mypunctilio,concerned,thathewouldnotcheerfullycomeinto.AndsinceIwassomuchtakenupwithmypen,hewouldinstantlyorderhishorsetobegotready,andwouldsetout.

Nottobeoffmycaution.HaveyouanyacquaintanceatWindsor?saidI.--Knowyouofanyconvenientlodgingsthere?

Excepttheforest,repliedhe,whereIhaveoftenhunted,IknowtheleastofWindsorofanyplacesonotedandsopleasant.IndeedIhavenotasingleacquaintancethere.

Uponthewhole,Itoldhim,thatIthoughthisproposalofWindsor,notamiss;andthatIwouldremovethither,ifIcouldgetalodgingonlyformyself,andanupperchamberforHannah;forthatmystockofmoneywasbutsmall,aswaseasytobeconceivedandIshouldbeverylothtobeobligedtoanybody.Iadded,thatthesoonerIremovedthebetter;forthatthenhecouldhavenoobjectiontogotoLondon,orBerkshire,ashepleased:andIshouldleteverybodyknowmyindependence.

Heagainproposedhimself,inverypoliteterms,formybanker.ButI,ascivilly,declinedhisoffer.

Thisconversationwastobe,allofit,inthemain,agreeable.HeaskedwhetherIwouldchoosetolodgeinthetownofWindsor,oroutofit?

Asnearthecastle,Isaid,aspossible,fortheconvenienceofgoingconstantlytothepublicworship;anopportunityIhadbeenverylongdeprivedof.

Heshouldbeveryglad,hetoldme,ifhecouldprocuremeaccommodationsinanyoneofthecanon'shouses;whichheimaginedwouldbemoreagreeabletomethananyother,onmanyaccounts.Andashecoulddependuponmypromise,Nevertohaveanyothermanbuthimself,ontheconditiontowhichhehadsocheerfullysubscribed,heshouldbeeasy;sinceitwasnowhispart,inearnest,tosetaboutrecommendinghimselftomyfavour,bytheonlywayheknewitwouldbedone.Adding,withaveryseriousair--Iambutayoungman,Madam;butIhaveruna

longcourse:letnotyourpurityofmindinclineyoutodespisemefortheacknowledgement.Itishightimetobewearyofit,andtoreform;since,likeSolomon,Icansay,Thereisnothingnewunderthesun:butthatitismybelief,thatalifeofvirtuecanaffordsuchpleasures,onreflection,aswillbeforeverblooming,forevernew!

Iwasagreeablysurprised.Ilookedathim,Ibelieve,asifIdoubtedmyearsandmyeyes.Hisaspecthoweverbecamehiswords.

Iexpressedmysatisfactionintermssoagreeabletohim,thathesaid,hefoundadelightinthisearlydawningofabetterdaytohim,andinmyapprobation,whichhehadneverreceivedfromthesuccessofthemostfavouredofhispursuits.

Surely,mydear,themanmustbeinearnest.Hecouldnothavesaidthis;hecouldnothavethoughtit,hadhenot.Whatfollowedmademestillreadiertobelievehim.

Inthemidstofmywildvagaries,saidhe,Ihaveeverpreservedareverenceforreligion,andforreligiousmen.Ialwayscalledanothercause,whenanyofmylibertinecompanions,inpursuanceofLordShaftesbury'stest(whichisapartoftherake'screed,andwhatImaycallthewhetstoneofinfidelity,)endeavouredtoturnthesacred



subjectintoridicule.OnthisveryaccountIhavebeencalledbygoodmenoftheclergy,whoneverthelesswouldhaveitthatIwasapracticalrake,thedecentrake:andindeedIhadtoomuchprideinmyshame,todisownthenameofrake.

This,Madam,Iamthereadiertoconfess,asitmaygiveyouhope,thatthegeneroustaskofmyreformation,whichIflattermyselfyouwillhavethegoodnesstoundertake,willnotbesodifficultaoneasyoumayhaveimagined;forithasaffordedmesomepleasureinmyretiredhours,whenatemporaryremorsehasstruckmeforanythingIhavedoneamiss,thatIshouldonedaydelightinanothercourseoflife:for,unlesswecan,Idaresay,nodurablegoodistobeexpectedfromtheendeavour.Yourexample,Madam,mustdoall,mustconfirmall.*

*Thatheproposesonedaytoreform,andthathehassometimesgoodmotions,seeVol.I.LetterXXXIV.

Thedivinegrace,orfavour,Mr.Lovelace,mustdoall,andconfirmall.Youknownothowmuchyoupleaseme,thatIcantalktoyouinthisdialect.

AndIthenthoughtofhisgenerositytohisprettyrustic;andofhis

kindnesstohistenants.

Yet,Madam,bepleasedtorememberonething;reformationcannotbeasuddenwork.Ihaveinfinitevivacity:itisthatwhichrunsawaywithme.Judge,dearestMadam,bywhatIamgoingtoconfess,thatIhaveaprodigiouswaytojourneyon,beforeagoodpersonwillthinkmetolerable;sincethoughIhavereadinsomeofourperfectionistsenoughtomakeabettermanthanmyselfeitherrunintomadnessordespairaboutthegraceyoumention,yetIcannotenterintothemeaningoftheword,norintothemodusofitsoperation.Letmenotthenbechecked,whenImentionyourexampleformyvisiblereliance;andinsteadofusingsuchwords,tillIcanbetterunderstandthem,supposealltherestincludedintheprofessionofthatreliance.

Itoldhim,that,althoughIwassomewhatconcernedathisexpression,andsurprisedatsomuchdarkness,as(forwantofanotherword)Iwouldcallit,inamanofhistalentsandlearning,yetIwaspleasedwithhisingenuousness.Iwishedhimtoencouragethiswayofthinking.Itoldhim,thathisobservation,thatnodurablegoodwastobeexpectedfromanynewcourse,weretherewasnotadelighttakeninit,wasjust;butthatthedelightwouldfollowbyuse.

AndtwentythingsofthissortIevenpreachedtohim;takingcare,however,nottobetedious,nortoletmyexpandedheartgivehimacontractedorimpatientblow.And,indeed,hetookvisiblepleasureinwhatIsaid,andevenhunguponthesubject,whenI,totryhim,once

ortwice,seemedreadytodropit:andproceededtogivemeamostagreeableinstance,thathecouldattimesthinkbothdeeplyandseriously.--Thusitwas.

Hewasonce,hesaid,dangerouslywoundedinaduel,intheleftarm,baringit,toshewmethescar:thatthis(notwithstandingagreateffusionofblood,itbeinguponanartery)wasfollowedbyaviolentfever,whichatlastfixeduponhisspirits;andthatsoobstinately,thatneitherdidhedesirelife,norhisfriendsexpectit:that,foramonthtogether,hisheart,ashethought,wassototallychanged,that



hedespisedhisformercourses,andparticularlythatrashnesswhichhadbroughthimtothestatehewasin,andhisantagonist(who,however,wastheaggressor)intoamuchworse:thatinthisspacehehadthoughtwhichattimesstillgavehimpleasuretoreflectupon:andalthoughthesepromisingprospectschanged,asherecoveredhealthandspirits,yethepartedwiththemwithsomuchreluctance,thathecouldnothelpshewingitinacopyofverses,trulyblankones,hesaid;someofwhichherepeated,and(advantagedbythegracewhichhegivestoeverythingherepeats)Ithoughtthemverytolerableones;thesentiments,however,muchgraverthanIexpectedfromhim.

Hehaspromisedmeacopyofthelines;andthenIshalljudgebetteroftheirmerit;andsoshallyou.Thetendencyofthemwas,'That,sincesicknessonlygavehimapropertrainofthinking,andthathisrestoredhealthbroughtwithitareturntohisevilhabits,hewasreadytorenouncethosegiftsofnatureforthoseofcontemplation.'

Hefartherdeclared,thatalthoughthesegoodmotionswentoff(ashehadowned)onhisrecovery,yethehadbetterhopesnow,fromtheinfluenceofmyexample,andfromtherewardbeforehim,ifhepersevered:andthathewasthemorehopefulthatheshould,ashispresentresolutionwasmadeinafulltideofhealthandspirits;andwhenhehadnothingtowishforbutperseverance,toentitlehimselftomyfavour.

Iwillnotthrowcoldwater,Mr.Lovelace,saidI,onarisingflame:butlooktoit!forIshallendeavourtokeepyouuptothisspirit.Ishallmeasureyourvalueofmebythistest:andIwouldhaveyoubearthosecharminglinesofMr.Roweforeverinyourmind;you,whohave,byyourownconfession,somuchtorepentof;andasthescar,indeed,youshewedme,will,inoneinstance,remindyoutoyourdyingday.

Thelines,mydear,arefromthepoet'sUlysses;youhaveheardmeoftenadmirethem;andIrepeatedthemtohim:

Habitualevilschangenotonasudden:Butmanydaysmustpass,andmanysorrows;

Consciousremorseandanguishmustbefelt,Tocurbdesire,tobreakthestubbornwill,Andworkasecondnatureinthesoul,EreVirtuecanresumetheplaceshelost:'Tiselsedissimulation--

Hehadoftenreadtheselines,hesaid;butnevertastedthembefore.--Byhissoul,(theunmortifiedcreatureswore,)andashehopedtobesaved,hewasnowinearnestinhisgoodresolutions.Hehadsaid,beforeIrepeatedthoselinesfromRowe,thathabitualevilscouldnotbechangedonasudden:buthehopedheshouldnotbethoughtadissembler,ifhewerenotenabledtoholdhisgoodpurposes;sinceingratitudeanddissimulationwerevicesthatofallothersheabhorred.

Mayyoueverabhorthem,saidI.Theyarethemostodiousofallvices.

Ihope,mydearMissHowe,Ishallnothaveoccasion,inmyfutureletters,tocontradictthesepromisingappearances.ShouldIhavenothingonhissidetocombatwith,Ishallbeveryfarfrombeinghappy,fromthesenseofmyfault,andtheindignationofallmyrelations.Soshallnotfailofcondignpunishmentforit,frommyinwardremorseonaccountofmyforfeitedcharacter.Buttheleastrayofhopecouldnotdartinuponme,withoutmybeingwillingtolayhold



oftheveryfirstopportunitytocommunicateittoyou,whotakesogenerousashareinallmyconcerns.

Nevertheless,youmaydependuponit,mydear,thattheseagreeableassurances,andhopesofhisbegunreformation,shallnotmakemeforgetmycaution.NotthatIthink,atworst,anymorethanyou,thathedaretoharbourathoughtinjurioustomyhonour:butheisveryvarious,andthereisanapparent,andevenanacknowledgedunfixednessinhistemper,whichattimesgivesmeuneasiness.Iamresolvedthereforetokeephimatadistancefrommypersonandmythoughts,asmuchasIcan:forwhetherallmenareorarenotencroachers,IamsureMr.Lovelaceisone.

HenceitisthatIhavealwayscastabout,andwillcontinuetocastabout,whatendshemayhaveinviewfromthisproposal,orfromthatreport.Inaword,thoughhopefulofthebest,Iwillalwaysbefearfuloftheworst,ineverythingthatadmitsofdoubt.Foritisbetter,insuchasituationasmine,toapprehendwithoutcause,thantosubjectmyselftosurpriseforwantofforethought.

Mr.LovelaceisgonetoWindsor,havinglefttwoservantstoattendme.Hepurposestobebackto-morrow.

IhavewrittentomyauntHervey,tosupplicateherinterestinmy

behalf,formyclothes,books,andmoney;signifyingtoher,'That,ifImayberestoredtothefavourofmyfamily,andallowedanegativeonly,astoanymanwhomaybeproposedtome,andbeusedlikeadaughter,aniece,andasister,Iwillstandbymyoffertolivesingle,andsubmit,asIought,toanegativefrommyfather.'Intimating,nevertheless,'Thatitwereperhapsbetter,aftertheusageIhavereceivedfrommybrotherandsister,thatImaybeallowedtobedistantfromthem,aswellfortheirsakesasformyown,'(meaning,asIsupposeitwillbetaken,atmyDairy-house)--offering,'totakemyfather'sdirectionsastothemannerIshalllivein,theservantsIshallhave,andineverythingthatshallshewthedutifulsubordinationtowhichIamwillingtoconform.'

Myauntwillknowbymylettertomysisterhowtodirecttome,ifshebepermittedtofavourmewithaline.

Iamequallyearnestwithherinthisletter,asIwaswithmysisterinthatIwrotetoher,toobtainformeaspeedyreconciliation,thatInotbefurtherprecipitated;intimating,'That,byatimelylenity,allmaypassforamisunderstandingonly,which,otherwise,willbethoughtequallydisgracefultothem,andtome;appealingtoherforthenecessityIwasundertodowhatIdid.'--

HadIownedthatIwasoverreached,andforcedawayagainstmyintention,mighttheynot,asaproofofthetruthofmyassertion,haveinsisteduponmyimmediatereturntothem?And,ifIdidnotreturn,

wouldtheynothavereasontosuppose,thatIhadnowalteredmymind(ifsuchweremymind)orhadnotthepowertoreturn?--ThenwereItohavegoneback,mustitnothavebeenupontheirownterms?Noconditioningwithafather!isamaximwithmyfather,andwithmyuncles.IfIwouldhavegone,Mr.Lovelacewouldhaveopposedit.SoImusthavebeenunderhiscontroul,orhaverunawayfromhim,asitissupposedIdidtohim,fromHarlowe-place.Inwhatagiddylightwouldthishavemademeappear!--Hadheconstrainedme,couldIhaveappealedtomyfriendsfortheirprotection,withoutriskingtheveryconsequences,topreventwhich(settingupmyselfpresumptuously,asa



middlepersonbetweenflamingspirits,)Ihaverunintosuchterribleinconveniencies.

But,afterall,mustitnotgivemegreatanguishofmind,tobeforcedtosanctify,asImaysay,bymyseemingafter-approbation,ameasureIwassoartfullytrickedinto,andwhichIwassomuchresolvednottotake?

Howoneevilbringsonanother,issorrowfullywitnessedtoby

Yourever-obligedandaffectionate,CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,APR.14.

Thouhastoftenreproachedme,Jack,withmyvanity,withoutdistinguishingthehumourousturnthataccompaniesit;andforwhich,atthesametimethatthourobbestmeofthemeritofitthouadmirestmehighly.Envygivestheetheindistinction:Natureinspiresthe

admiration:unknowntothyselfitinspiresit.Butthouarttooclumsyandtooshort-sightedamortal,toknowhowtoaccountevenfortheimpulsesbywhichthouthyselfartmoved.

Well,butthisacquitstheenotofmychargeofvanity,Lovelace,methinksthousayest.

Andtruethousayest:forIhaveindeedaconfoundedparcelofit.But,ifmenofpartsmaynotbeallowedtobeinvain,whoshould!andyet,uponsecondthoughts,menofpartshavetheleastoccasionofanytobevain;sincetheworld(sofewofthemarethereinit)arereadytofindthemout,andextolthem.Ifafoolcanbemadesensiblethatthereisamanwhohasmoreunderstandingthanhimself,heisreadyenoughto

conclude,thatsuchamanmustbeaveryextraordinarycreature.

Andwhat,atthisrate,isthegeneralconclusiontobedrawnfromthepremises?--Isitnot,Thatnomanoughttobevain?Butwhatifamancan'thelpit!--This,perhaps,maybemycase.ButthereisnothinguponwhichIvaluemyselfsomuchasuponmyinventions.Andforthesoulofme,Icannothelplettingitbeseen,thatIdo.Yetthisvanitymaybeamean,perhaps,tooverthrowmewiththissagaciouslady.

SheisveryapprehensiveofmeIsee.IhavestudiedbeforeherandMissHowe,asoftenasIhavebeenwiththem,topassforagiddythoughtlesscreature.Whatafollythentobesoexpatiatinglysincere,inmyanswertoherhomeput,uponthenoiseswithinthegarden?--Butsuchsuccess

havingattendedthatcontrivance[success,Jack,hasblownmanyamanup!]mycursedvanitygotuppermost,andkeptdownmycaution.ThemenacetohavesecretedSolmes,andthatother,thatIhadthoughtstorunawaywithherfoolishbrother,andofmyprojecttorevengeheruponthetwoservants,somuchterrifiedthedearcreature,thatIwasforcedtositdowntomuseaftermeanstoputmyselfrightinheropinion.

Somefavourableincidents,atthetime,tumbledinfrommyagentinherfamily;atleastsuchasIwasdeterminedtomakefavourable:andthereforeIdesiredadmittance;andthisbeforeshecouldresolveany



thingagainstme;thatistosay,whileheradmirationofmyintrepiditykeptresolutioninsuspense.

Accordingly,Ipreparedmyselftobeallgentleness,allobligingness,allserenity;andasIhavenowandthen,andalwayshad,moreorless,goodmotionspopupinmymind,IencouragedandcollectedeverythingofthissortthatIhadeverhadfromnovicehoodtomaturity,[notlonginrecollecting,Jack,]inordertobringthedearcreatureintogoodhumourwithme:*Andwhoknows,thoughtI,ifIcanholdit,andproceed,butImaybeabletolayafoundationfittobuildmygrandschemeupon!--LOVE,thoughtI,isnotnaturallyadoubter:FEARis,Iwilltrytobanishthelatter:nothingthenbutlovewillremain.CREDULITYistheGodofLove'sprimeminister,andtheyneverareasunder.

*Hehadsaid,LetterXVIII.thathewouldmakereformationhisstalking-horse,&c.

HethenacquaintshisfriendwithwhatpassedbetweenhimandtheLady,inrelationtohisadvicesfromHarlowe-place,andtohisproposalaboutlodgings,prettymuchtothesamepurposeasinherprecedingLetter.

WhenheconestomentionhisproposaloftheWindsorlodgings,thusheexpresseshimself:

Now,Belford,canitenterintothyleadenhead,whatImeantbythisproposal!--Iknowitcannot.AndsoI'lltellthee.

Toleaveherforadayortwo,withaviewtoserveherbymyabsence,would,asIthought,looklikeaconfidinginherfavour.Icouldnotthinkofleavingher,thouknowest,whileIhadreasontobelieveherfriendswouldpursueus;andIbegantoapprehendthatshewouldsuspectthatImadeapretenceofthatintentionalpursuittokeepaboutherandwithher.Butnowthattheyhaddeclaredagainstit,andthattheywould

notreceiveherifshewentback,(adeclarationshehadbetterhearfirstfromme,thanfromMissHowe,oranyother,)whatshouldhindermefromgivingherthismarkofmyobedience;especiallyasIcouldleaveWill,whoisacleverfellow,andcandoanythingbutwriteandspell,andLordM.'sJonas(notasguards,tobesure,butasattendantsonly);thelattertobedispatchedtomeoccasionallybytheformer,whomIcouldacquaintwithmymotions?

ThenIwantedtoinformmyself,whyIhadnotcongratulatorylettersfromLadySarahandLadyBetty,andfrommycousinsMontague,towhomIhadwritten,gloryinginmybeloved'sescape;whichletters,ifproperlyworded,mightbemadenecessarytoshewherasmattersproceed.

AstoWindsor,Ihadnodesigntocarryherparticularlythither:butsomewhereitwaspropertoname,asshecondescendedtoaskmyadviceaboutit.London,Idurstnot;butverycautiously;andsoastomakeitherownoption:forImusttellthee,thatthereissuchaperversenessinthesex,thatwhentheyaskyouradvice,theydoitonlytoknowyouropinion,thattheymayopposeit;though,hadnotthethinginquestionbeenyourchoice,perhapsithadbeentheirs.

IcouldeasilygivereasonsagainstWindsor,afterIhadpretendedtobethere;andthiswouldhavelookedthebetter,asitwasaplaceof



myownnomination;andshewnherthatIhadnofixedscheme.Neverwasthereinwomansuchasagacious,suchanall-aliveapprehension,asinthis.Yetitisagrievousthingtoanhonestmantobesuspected.

Then,inmygoingorreturn,IcancalluponMrs.Greme.Sheandmybelovedhadagreatdealoftalktogether.IfIknewwhatitwasabout;andthateither,upontheirfirstacquaintance,wasforbenefitingherselfbytheother;Imightcontrivetoservethemboth,withouthurtingmyself:forthesearethemostprudentwaysofdoingfriendships,andwhatarenotfollowedbyregrets,thoughtheservedshouldproveingrateful.ThenMrs.Gremecorrespondsbypen-and-inkwithherfarmer-sisterwhereweare:somethingmaypossiblyarisethatway,eitherofaconvenientnature,whichImaypursue;orofaninconvenientnature,whichImayavoid.

Alwaysbecarefulofbackdoors,isamaximwithmeinallmyexploits.Whoeverknowsme,knowsthatIamnoproudman.Icantalkasfamiliarlytoservantsastoprincipals,whenIhaveamindtomakeitworththeirwhiletoobligemeinanything.Thenservantsarebutasthecommonsoldiersinanarmy,theydoallthemischieffrequentlywithoutmalice,andmerely,goodsouls!formischief-sake.

IammostapprehensiveaboutMissHowe.Shehasaconfoundeddealofwit,andwantsonlyasubject,toshewasmuchroguery:andshouldI

beoutwittedwithallmysententiousboastingofconceitofmyownnostrum-mongership--[Ilovetoplaguethee,whoartapretendertoaccuracy,andasurface-skimmerinlearning,without-of-the-waywordsandphrases]Ishouldcertainlyhang,drown,orshootmyself.

PoorHickman!Ipityhimfortheprospecthehaswithsuchavirago!Butthefellow'safool,Godwot!AndnowIthinkofit,itisabsolutelynecessaryforcompletehappinessinthemarriedstate,thatoneshouldbeafool[anargumentIonceheldwiththisveryMissHowe.]Butthenthefoolshouldknowtheother'ssuperiority;otherwisetheobstinateonewilldisappointthewiseone.

ButmyagentJosephhashelpedmetosecurethisquarter,asIhave

hintedtotheemorethanonce.

LETTERXXVI


ButisitnotaconfoundedthingthatIcannotfastenanobligationuponthisproudbeauty?Ihavetwomotivesinendeavouringtoprevailuponhertoacceptofmoneyandraimentfromme:one;therealpleasureI

shouldhaveintheaccommodatingofthehaughtymaid;andtothinktherewassomethingnearher,anduponher,thatIcouldcallmine:theother,inordertoabateherseverityandhumbleheralittle.

Nothingmoreeffectuallybringsdownaproudspirit,thanasenseoflyingunderpecuniaryobligations.Thishasalwaysmademesolicitoustoavoidlayingmyselfunderanysuch:yet,sometimes,formerly,haveIbeenputtoit,andcursedthetardyresolutionofthequarterlyperiods.AndyetIevermadeshifttoavoidanticipation:Ineverwouldeatthecalfinthecow'sbelly,asLordM.'sphraseis:forwhatis



that,buttoholdourlandsupontenant-courtesy,thevilestofalltenures?Tobedeniedafox-chace,forbreakingdownafenceuponmyowngrounds?Tobeclamouredatforrepairsstudiedfor,ratherthanreallywanted?Tobepratedtobyabumpkinwithhishaton,andhisarmsfolded,asifhedefiedyourexpectationsofthatsort;hisfootfirmlyfixed,asifuponhisownground,andyouforcedtotakehisarchleers,andstupidgybes;heintimating,bythewholeofhisconduct,thathehadhaditinhispowertoobligeyou,and,ifyoubehavecivilly,mayobligeyouagain?I,whothinkIhavearighttobreakeveryman'sheadIpassby,ifIlikenothislooks,tobearthis!--NomorecouldIdoit,thenIcouldborrowofaninsolentuncle,orinquisitiveaunt,whowouldthencethinkthemselvesentitledtohaveanaccountofallmylifeandactionslaidbeforethemfortheirreviewandcensure.

Mycharmer,Isee,hasapridelikemyown:butshehasnodistinctioninherpride:norknowstheprettyfoolthatthereisnothingnobler,nothingmoredelightful,thanforlovestobeconferringandreceivingobligationsfromeachother.Inthisveryfarm-yard,togivetheeafamiliarinstance,Ihavemorethanonceseenthisremarkillustrated.AstruttingrascalofacockhaveIbeheldchuck,chuck,chuck,chuck-inghismistresstohim,whenhehasfoundasinglebarley-corn,takingitupwithhisbill,andlettingitdropfiveorsixtimes,stillrepeatinghischuckinginvitation:andwhentwoorthreeofhisfeatheredladiesstrivewhoshallbethefirstforit[OJack!acockisagrandsignor

ofabird!]hedirectsthebilloftheforemosttoit;andwhenshehasgotthedirtypearl,hestrutsoverherwithanerectedcrest,clingroundherwithdroptwings,sweepingthedustinhumblecourtship:whiletheobligedshe,half-shy,half-willing,byhercoweringtail,preparedwings,yetseeminglyaffrightedeyes,andcontractedneck,letsoneseethatsheknowsthebarley-cornwasnotallhecalledherfor.

Whenhecomestothatpartofhisnarrative,wherehementionsoftheproposingoftheLady'smaidHannah,oroneoftheyoungSorlings,toattendher,thushewrites:

Now,Belford,canstthouimaginewhatImeantbyproposingHannah,or

oneofthegirlshere,forherattendant?I'llgivetheeamonthtoguess.

Thouwiltnotpretendtoguess,thousay'st.

Well,thenI'lltellthee.

Believingshewouldcertainlyproposetohavethatfavouritewenchabouther,assoonasshewasalittlesettled,Ihadcausedthegirltobeinquiredafter,withanintenttomakeinterest,somehoworother,thatamonth'swarningshouldbeinsistedonbyhermasterormistress,orbysomeothermeans,whichIhadnotdeterminedupon,topreventhercomingtoher.Butfortunefightsforme.Thewenchisluckilyill;aviolent

rheumaticdisorder,whichhasobligedhertoleaveherplace,confineshertoherchamber.PoorHannah!HowIpitythegirl!Thesethingsareveryharduponindustriousservants!--Iintendtomakethepoorwenchasmallpresentontheoccasion--Iknowitwillobligemycharmer.

Andso,Jack,pretendingnottoknowanythingofthematter,IpressedhertosendforHannah.SheknewIhadalwaysaregardforthisservant,becauseofherhonestlovetoherlady:butnowIhavegreaterregardforherthanever.Calamity,thoughapoorservant'scalamity,willratherincreasethandiminishgoodwill,withatrulygenerousmasteror



mistress.

AstooneoftheyoungSorling'sattendance,therewasnothingatallinproposingthat;forifeitherofthemhadbeenchosenbyher,andpermittedbythemother[twochancesinthat!]itwouldhavebeenonlytillIhadfixeduponanother.And,ifafterwardstheyhadbeenlothtopart,Icouldeasilyhavegivenmybelovedtoajealousy,whichwouldhavedonethebusiness;ortothegirl,whowouldhavequittedhercountrydairy,sucharelishforaLondonone,andaswouldhavemadeitveryconvenientforhertofallinlovewithWill;orperhapsIcouldhavedonestillbetterforherwithLordM.'schaplain,whoisverydesirousofstandingwellwithhislord'spresumptiveheir.

Ablessingonthyhonestheart,Lovelace!thou'ltsay;forthouartforprovidingforeverybody!

Hegivesanaccountoftheseriouspartoftheirconversation,withnogreatvariationfromtheLady'saccountofit:andwhenhecomestothatpartofit,wherehebidsherremember,thatreformationcannotbeasuddenthing,heaskshisfriend:

Isnotthisfairplay?Isitnotdealingingenuously?Thenthe

observation,Iwillbeboldtosay,isfoundedintruthandnature.Buttherewasalittletouchofpolicyinitbesides;thatthelady,ifIshouldflyoutagain,shouldnotthinkmetoogrossanhypocrite:for,asIplainlytoldher,Iwasafraid,thatmyfitsofreformationwerebutfitsandsallies;butIhopedherexamplewouldfixthemintohabits.Butitissodiscouragingathingtohavemymonitresssoverygood!--IprotestIknownothowtolookupather!Now,asIamthinking,ifIcouldpullherdownalittlenearertomyownlevel;thatistosay,couldprevailuponhertodosomethingthatwouldargueimperfection,somethingtorepentof;weshouldjogonmuchmoreequally,andbebetterabletocomprehendoneanother:andsothecomfortwouldbemutual,andtheremorsenotallononeside.

HeacknowledgesthathewasgreatlyaffectedandpleasedwiththeLady'sseriousargumentsatthetime:buteventhenwasapprehensivethathistemperwouldnothold.Thushewrites:

Thisladysaysseriousthingsinsoagreeableamanner(andthenhervoiceisallharmonywhenshetouchesasubjectsheispleasedwith)thatIcouldhavelistenedtoherforhalfadaytogether.ButyetIamafraid,ifshefalls,astheycallit,shewillloseagooddealofthatpathos,ofthatnobleself-confidence,whichgivesagoodperson,asInowsee,avisiblesuperiorityoveronenotsogood.

But,afterall,Belford,Iwouldfainknowwhypeoplecallsuchfree-liversasyouandmehypocrites.--That'sawordIhate;andshouldtakeitveryilltobecalledbyit.Formyself,Ihaveasgoodmotions,and,perhaps,havethemasfrequentlyasanybody:allthebusinessis,theydon'thold;or,tospeakmoreincharacter,Idon'ttakethecaresomedotoconcealmylapses.



LETTERXXVII

MISSHOWE,TOMISCLARISSAHARLOWESATURDAY,APRIL15.

Thoughprettymuchpressedintime,andoppressedbymymother'swatchfulness,Iwillwriteafewlinesuponthenewlightthathasbrokeninuponyourgentleman;andsenditbyaparticularhand.

Iknownotwhattothinkofhimuponit.Hetalkswell;butjudgehimbyRowe'slines,heiscertainlyadissembler,odiousasthesinofhypocrisy,and,ashesays,thatotherofingratitude,aretohim.

And,pray,mydear,letmeask,couldhehavetriumphed,asitissaidhehasdone,oversomanyofoursex,hadhenotbeenegregiouslyguiltyofbothsins?

Hisingenuousnessisthethingthatstaggersme:yetishecunningenoughtoknow,thatwhoeveraccuseshimfirst,bluntstheedgeofanadversary'saccusation.

Heiscertainlyamanofsense:thereismorehopeofsuchaonethanafool:andtheremustbeabeginningtoareformation.TheseIwillallowinhisfavour.

Butthis,thatfollows,Ithink,istheonlywaytojudgeofhisspeciousconfessionsandself-accusations--Doesheconfessanythingthatyouknewnotbefore,orthatyouarenotlikelytofindoutfromothers?--Ifnothingelse,whatdoesheconfesstohisowndisadvantage?Youhaveheardofhisduels:youhaveheardofhisseductions.--Alltheworldhas.Heowns,therefore,whatitwouldbetonopurposetoconceal;andhisingenuousnessisasalvo--'Why,this,Madam,isnomorethanMr.Lovelacehimselfacknowledges.'

Well,butwhatisnowtobedone?--Youmustmakethebestofyoursituation:andasyousay,sohehasproposedtoyouofWindsor,andhiscanon'shouse.Hisreadinesstoleaveyou,andgohimselfinquestof

alodging,likewiselookswell.AndIthinkthereisnothingcanbesoproperlydone,as(whetheryougettoacanon'shouseornot)thatthecanonshouldjoinyoutogetherinwedlockassoonaspossible.

Imuchapprove,however,ofallyourcautions,ofallyourvigilance,andofeverythingyouhavedone,butofyourmeetinghim.Yet,inmydisapprobationofthat,Ijudgebythateventonly:forwhowouldhavedivineditwouldhavebeenconcludedasitdid?Butheisthedevilbyhisownaccount:andhadherunawaywiththewretchedSolmes,andyourmorewretchedbrother,andhimselfbeentransportedforlife,heshouldhavehadmyfreeconsentforallthree.

WhatusedoeshemakeofthatJosephLeman!--Hisingenuousness,Imust

morethanoncesay,confoundsme;butif,mydear,youcanforgiveyourbrotherforthepartheputthatfellowuponacting,Idon'tknowwhetheryououghttobeangryatLovelace.YetIhavewishedfiftytimes,sinceLovelacegotyouaway,thatyouwereridofhim,whetheritwerebyaburningfever,byhanging,bydrowning,orbyabrokenneck;provideditwerebeforehelaidyouunderanecessitytogointomourningforhim.

Irepeatmyhithertorejectedoffer.MayIsenditsafelybyyouroldman?IhavereasonsfornotsendingitbyHickman'sservant;unlessI



hadabanknote.Inquiringforsuchmaycausedistrust.Mymotherissobusy,soinquisitive--Idon'tlovesuspicioustempers.

Andheresheiscontinuallyinandout--Imustbreakoff.

*****

Mr.Hickmanbegshismostrespectfulcomplimentstoyou,withofferofhisservices.ItoldhimIwouldobligehim,becausemindsintroubletakekindlyanybody'scivilities:butthathewasnottoimaginethatheparticularlyobligedmebythis;sinceIshouldthinkthemanorwomaneitherblindorstupidwhoadmirednotapersonofyourexaltedmeritforyourownsake,andwishednottoserveyouwithoutviewtootherrewardthanthehonourofservingyou.

Tobesure,thatwashisprincipalmotive,withgreatdaintinesshesaidit:butwithakissofhishand,andabowtomyfeet,hehoped,thatafinelady'sbeingmyfrienddidnotlessenthemeritofthereverencehereallyhadforher.

Believemeever,whatyou,mydear,shalleverfindme,

Yourfaithfulandaffectionate,ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXVIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESAT.AFTERNOON.

IdetainyourmessengerwhileIwriteananswertoyours;thepooroldmannotbeingverywell.

YoudisheartenmeagooddealaboutMr.Lovelace.Imaybetoowillingfrommysadcircumstancestothinkthebestofhim.Ifhispretencestoreformationarebutpretences,whatmustbehisintent?Butcantheheartofmanbesoveryvile?Canhe,darehe,mocktheAlmighty?ButImaynot,fromoneverysadreflection,thinkbetterofhim;thatIamthrowntoomuchintohispower,tomakeitnecessaryforhim(exceptheweretointendtheveryutmostvillanybyme)tobesuchashockinghypocrite?Hemust,atleastbeinearnestatthetimehegivesthebetterhopes.Surelyhemust.Youyourselfmustjoinwithmeinthishope,oryoucouldnotwishmetobesodreadfullyyoked.

Butafterall,Ihadrather,muchrather,beindependentofhim,andofhisfamily,althoughIhaveanhighopinionofthem;atleasttillIsee

whatmyownmaybebroughtto.--Otherwise,Ithink,itwerebestforme,atonce,tocastmyselfintoLadyBetty'sprotection.Allwouldthenbeconductedwithdecency,andperhapsmanymortificationswouldbesparedme.ButthenImustbehis,atalladventures,andbethoughttodefymyownfamily.AndshallInotfirstseetheissueofoneapplication?AndyetIcannotmakethis,tillIamsettledsomewhere,andatadistancefromhim.

Mrs.Sorlingsshewedmealetterthismorning,whichshehadreceivedfromhersisterGremelastnight;inwhichMrs.Greme(hopingIwould



forgiveherforwardzealifhersisterthinksfittoshewherlettertome)'wishes(andthatforallthenoblefamily'ssake,andshehopesshemaysayformyown)thatIwillbepleasedtoyieldtomakehishonour,asshecallshim,happy.'Shegroundsherofficiousness,asshecallsit,uponwhathewassocondescending[herwordalso]tosaytoheryesterday,inhiswaytoWindsor,onherpresumingtoask,ifshemightsoongivehimjoy?'Thatnomaneverlovedawomanashelovesme:thatnowomaneversowelldeservedtobebeloved:thathelovesmewithsuchapurityashehadneverbelievedhimselfcapableof,orthatamortalcreaturecouldhaveinspiredhimwith;lookinguponmeasallsoul;asanangelsentdowntosavehis;'andagreatdealmoreofthissort:'butthatheapprehendsmyconsenttomakehimhappyisatagreaterdistancethanhewishes;andcomplainedoftoosevererestrictionsIhadlaiduponhimbeforeIhonouredhimwithmyconfidence:whichrestrictionsmustbeassacredtohim,asiftheywerepartsofthemarriagecontract,'&c.

What,mydear,shallIsaytothis?HowshallItakeit?Mrs.Gremeisagoodwoman.Mrs.Sorlingsisagoodwoman.AndthisletteragreeswiththeconversationbetweenMr.Lovelaceandme,whichIthought,andstillthink,soagreeable.*Yetwhatmeansthemanbyforegoingtheopportunitieshehashadtodeclarehimself?--WhatmeanhiscomplaintsofmyrestrictionstoMrs.Greme?Heisnotabashfulman.--Butyousay,Iinspirepeoplewithanaweofme.--Anawe,mydear!--Ashow?

*ThisletterMrs.Greme(withnobaddesignonherpart)wasputuponwritingbyMr.Lovelacehimself,aswillbeseeninLetterXXXV.

Iamquitepetulant,fretful,andpeevish,withmyself,attimes,tofindthatIamboundtoseetheworkingsofthesubtle,orthisgiddyspirit,whichshallIcallit?

HowamIpunished,asIfrequentlythink,formyvanity,inhopingtobeanexampletoyoungpersonsofmysex!Letmebebutawarning,andIwillnowbecontented.For,bemydestinywhatitmay,Ishallnever

beabletoholdupmyheadagainamongmybestfriendsandworthiestcompanions.

Itisoneofthecruelestcircumstancesthatattendsthefaultsoftheinconsiderate,thatshemakesallwholoveherunhappy,andgivesjoyonlytoherownenemies,andtotheenemiesofherfamily.

Whatanusefullessonwouldthisafford,wereitproperlyinculcatedatthetimethatthetemptedmindwasbalancinguponadoubtfuladventure?

Youknownot,mydear,theworthofavirtuousman;and,noble-mindedasyouareinmostparticulars,youpartakeofthecommonweaknessofhumannature,inbeingapttoslightwhatisinyourownpower.

YouwouldnotthinkofusingMr.Lovelace,wereheyoursuitor,asyoudothemuchworthierMr.Hickman--wouldyou?--Youknowwhosaysinmymother'scase,'Muchwillbear,muchshallbear,alltheworldthrough.'*Mr.Hickman,Ifancy,wouldbegladtoknowthelady'sname,whomadesuchanobservation.Hewouldthinkithardlypossible,butsuchaoneshouldbenefitbyherownremark;andwouldbeapttowishhisMissHoweacquaintedwithher.



*SeeVol.I.LetterX.

Gentlenessofheart,surely,isnotdespicableinaman.Why,ifitbe,isthehighestdistinctionamancanarriveat,thatofagentleman?--Adistinctionwhichaprincemaynotdeserve.Formanners,morethanbirth,fortune,ortitle,arerequisiteinthischaracter.Mannersareindeedtheessenceofit.Andshallitbegenerallysaid,andMissHowenotbeanexceptiontoit(asyouoncewrote),thatoursexarebestdealtwithbyboisterousandunrulyspirits?*

*SeeVol.II.LetterIII.

Forgiveme,mydear,andlovemeasyouusedtodo.Foralthoughmyfortunesarechanged,myheartisnot:Noreverwill,whileitbidsmypentellyou,thatitmustceasetobear,whenitisnotasmuchyoursas

YourCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE.SATURDAYEVENING.

Mr.LovelacehasseendiversapartmentsatWindsor;butnotone,hesays,thathethoughtfitforme,andwhich,atthesametime,answeredmydescription.

Hehasbeenverysolicitoustokeeptotheletterofmyinstructions:whichlookedwell:andthebetterIlikehim,as,althoughheproposedthattown,hecameback,dissuadingmefromit:forhesaid,that,inhisjourneyfromthence,hehadthoughtWindsor,althoughofhisown

proposal,awrongchoice;becauseIcovetedprivacy,andthatwasaplacegenerallyvisitedandadmired.*

*ThisinferenceoftheLadyinhisfavourisexactlywhathehadhopedfor.SeeLetterXXV.ofthisvolume.

Itoldhim,thatifMrs.Sorlingsthoughtmenotanincumbrance,Iwouldbewillingtostayherealittlelonger;providedhewouldleaveme,andgotoLordM.'s,ortoLondon,whicheverhethoughtbest.

Hehoped,hesaid,thathemightsupposemeabsolutelysafefromthe

insultsorattemptsofmybrother;and,therefore,ifitshouldmakemeeasier,hewouldobey,forafewdaysatleast.

HeagainproposedtosendforHannah.ItoldhimIdesignedtodoso,throughyou--AndshallIbegofyou,mydear,tocausethehonestcreaturetobesentto?YourfaithfulRobert,Ithink,knowswheresheis.Perhapsshewillbepermittedtoquitherplacedirectly,byallowingamonth'swages,whichIwillrepayher.Hetooknoticeoftheserioushumourhefoundmein,andoftherednessofmyeyes.Ihadjustbeenansweringyourletter;andhadhenotapproachedme,onhis



comingoffhisjourney,inaveryrespectfulmanner;hadhenotmadeanunexceptionablereportofhisinquiries,andbeensoreadytogofromme,attheveryfirstword;Iwasprepared(notwithstandingthegoodtermsweparteduponwhenhesetoutforWindsor)tohavegivenhimaveryunwelcomereception:forthecontentsofyourlastletterhadsoaffectedme,thatthemomentIsawhim,Ibeheldwithindignationtheseducer,whohadbeenthecauseofalltheevilsIsuffer,andhavesuffered.

Hehintedtome,thathehadreceivedaletterfromLadyBetty,andanother(asIunderstoodhim)fromoneoftheMissMontagues.Iftheytakenoticeofmyinthem,Iwonderthathedidnotacquaintmewiththecontents.Iamafraid,mydear,thathisrelationsareamongthosewhothinkIhavetakenarashandinexcusablestep.ItisnottomycredittoleteventhemknowhowIhavebeenfrightedoutofmyself:andyetperhapstheywouldholdmeunworthyoftheiralliance,iftheyweretothinkmyflightavoluntaryone.Omydear,howuneasytousareourreflectionsuponeverydoubtfuloccurrence,whenweknowwehavebeenprevailedupontodoawrongthing!

SUNDAYMORNING.

Ah!thisman,mydear!Wehavehadwarmerdialoguesthaneveryetwe

havehad.Atfairargument,IfindIneednotfearhim;*butheissuchawild,suchanungovernablecreature[hereformed!]thatIamhalfafraidofhim.

*SeethisconfirmedbyMr.Lovelace,LetterXI.ofthisvolume.

Heagain,onmydeclaringmyselfuneasyathisstaywithmehere,proposedthatIwouldputmyselfintoLadyBetty'sprotection;assuringmethathethoughthecouldnotleavemeatMrs.Sorlings'swithsafetytomyself.Anduponmydecliningtodothat,forthereasonsIgaveyouinmylast,*heurgedmetomakeademandofmyestate.

*SeeLetterXXVIII.ofthisvolume.

Heknewit,Itoldhim,tobemyresolutionnottolitigatewithmyfather.

Norwouldheputmeuponit,hereplied,butasthelastthing.Butifmyspiritwouldnotpermitmetobeobliged,asIcalledit,toanybody,andyetifmyrelationswouldrefusememyown,heknewnothowIcouldkeepupthatspirit,withoutbeingputtoinconveniences,whichwouldgivehiminfiniteconcern--Unless--unless--unless,hesaid,

hesitating,asifafraidtospeakout--unlessIwouldtaketheonlymethodIcouldtake,toobtainthepossessionofmyown.

Whatisthat,Sir?

Surethemansawbymylooks,whenhecamewithhiscreepingunless's,thatIguessedwhathemeant.

Ah!Madam,canyoubeatalosstoknowwhatthatmethodis?--Theywillnotdisputewithamanthatrightwhichtheycontestwithyou.



Whysaidhewithaman,insteadofwithhim?Yethelookedasifhewantedtobeencouragedtosaymore.

So,Sir,youwouldhavemeemployalawyer,wouldyou,notwithstandingwhatIhaveeverdeclaredastolitigatingwithmyfather?

No,Iwouldnot,mydearestcreature,snatchingmyhand,andpressingitwithhislips--exceptyouwouldmakemethelawyer.

Hadhesaidmeatfirst,Ishouldhavebeenabovetheaffectationofmentioningalawyer.

Iblushed.Themanpursuednotthesubjectsoardently,butthatitwasmoreeasyaswellasmorenaturaltoavoiditthantofallintoit.

WouldtoHeavenhemight,withoutoffending!--ButIsoover-awedhim!--[over-awedhim!--Your*notion,mydear!]--Andsotheover-awed,bashfulmanwentofffromthesubject,repeatinghisproposal,thatIwoulddemandmyownestate,orempowersomemanofthelawtodemandit,ifIwouldnot[heputin]empowerahappiermantodemandit.Butitcouldnotbeamiss,hethought,toacquaintmytwotrustees,thatIintendedtoassumeit.

*SeeLetterXIX.ofthisvolume.

Ishouldknowbetterwhattodo,Itoldhim,whenhewasatadistancefromme,andknowntobeso.Isuppose,Sir,thatifmyfatherproposemyreturn,andengagenevertomentionsSolmestome,noranyotherman,butbymyconsent,andIagree,uponthatcondition,tothinknomoreofyou,youwillacquiesce.

Iwaswillingtotrywhetherhehadtheregardtoallofmypreviousdeclarations,whichhepretendedtohavetosomeofthem.

Hewasstruckallofaheap.

Whatsayyou,Mr.Lovelace?Youknow,allyoumeanisformygood.SurelyIammyownmistress:surelyIneednotaskyourleavetomakewhattermsIpleaseformyself,solongasIbreaknonewithyou?

Hehemm'dtwiceorthrice--Why,Madam--why,Madam,Icannotsay--thenpausing--andrisingfromhisseatwithpetulance;Iseeplainlyenough,saidhe,thereasonwhynoneofmyproposalscanbeaccepted:atlastIamtobeasacrificetoyourreconciliationwithyourimplacablefamily.

Ithasalwaysbeenyourrespectfulway,Mr.Lovelace,totreatmyfamilyinthisfreemanner.Butpray,Sir,whenyoucallothersimplacable,seethatyoudeservenotthesamecensureyourself.

Hemustneedssay,therewasnolovelostbetweensomeofmyfamilyandhim;buthehadnotdeservedofthemwhattheyhadofhim.

Yourselfbeingjudge,Isuppose,Sir?

Alltheworld,youyourself,Madam,beingjudge.

Then,Sir,letmetellyou,hadyoubeenlessuponyourdefiances,theywouldnothavebeenirritatedsomuchagainstyou.Butnobodyever



heard,thatavoweddespitetotherelationsofapersonwasapropercourtship,eithertothatperson,ortoherfriends.

Well,Madam,allthatIknowis,thattheirmaliceagainstmeissuch,that,ifyoudeterminetosacrificeme,youmaybereconciledwhenyouplease.

AndallIknow,Sir,is,thatifIdogivemyfatherthepowerofanegative,andhewillbecontentedwiththat,itwillbebutmydutytogiveithim;andifIpreserveonetomyself,Ishallbreakthroughnoobligationtoyou.

Yourdutytoyourcapriciousbrother,nottoyourfather,youmean,Madam.

Ifthedisputelaybetweenmybrotherandmeatfirst,surely,Sir,afathermaychoosewhichpartyhewilltake.

Hemay,Madam--butthatexemptshimnotfromblameforallthat,ifhetakethewrong--

Differentpeoplewilljudgedifferently,Mr.Lovelace,oftherightandthewrong.Youjudgeasyouplease.Shallnotothersastheyplease?Andwhohasarighttocontroulafather'sjudgmentinhisownfamily,and

inrelationtohisownchild?

Iknow,Madam,thereisnoarguingwithyou.But,nevertheless,Ihadhopedtohavemademyselfsomelittlemeritwithyou,soasthatImightnothavebeenthepreliminarysacrificetoareconciliation.

Yourhope,Sir,hadbeenbettergroundedifyouhadhadmyconsenttomyabandoningofmyfather'shouse--

Always,Madam,andforever,toberemindedofthechoiceyouwouldhavemadeofthatdamn'dSolmes--ratherthan--

Notsohasty!notsorash,Mr.Lovelace!Iamconvincedthattherewas

nointentiontomarrymetothatSolmesonWednesday.

SoIamtoldtheynowgiveout,inordertojustifythemselvesatyourexpense.Everybodyliving,Madam,isobligedtoyouforyourkindthoughtsbutI.

Excuseme,goodMr.Lovelace[wavingmyhand,andbowing],thatIamwillingtothinkthebestofmyfather.

Charmingcreature!saidhe,withwhatabewitchingairisthatsaid!--Andwithavehemenceinhismannerwouldhavesnatchedmyhand.ButIwithdrewit,beingmuchoffendedwithhim.

Ithink,Madam,mysufferingsforyoursakemighthaveentitledmetosomefavour.

Mysufferings,Sir,foryourimpetuoustemper,setagainstyoursufferingsformysake,Ihumblyconceive,leavemeverylittleyourdebtor.

Lord!Madam,[assumingadrawlingair]Whathaveyousuffered?--Nothingbutwhatyoucaneasilyforgive.Youhavebeenonlymadeaprisonerinyourfather'shouse,bywayofdoingcredittoyourjudgment!--Youhave



onlyhadaninnocentandfaithfulservantturnedoutofyourservice,becauseyoulovedher!--Youhaveonlyhadyoursister'sconfidentservantsetoveryou,withleavetoteaseandaffrontyou--!

Verywell,Sir!

Youhaveonlyhadaninsolentbrothertakeuponhimtotreatyoulikeaslave,andasinsolentasistertoundermineyouineverybody'sfavour,onpretencetokeepyououtofhands,which,ifasvileastheyvilelyreport,arenot,however,halfsovileandcruelastheirown.

Goon,Sir,ifyouplease!

Youhaveonlybeenpersecuted,inordertoobligeyoutohaveasordidfellow,whomyouhaveprofessedtohate,andwhomeverybodydespises!Thelicensehasbeenonlygot!Theparsonhasonlybeenhadinreadiness!Theday,anear,averynearday,hadbeenonlyfixed!Andyouwereonlytobesearchedforyourcorrespondencies,andstillcloserconfinedtillthedaycame,inordertodepriveyouofallmeansofescapingthesnarelaidforyou!--Butallthisyoucanforgive!Youcanwishyouhadstoodallthis;inevitableasthecompulsionmusthavebeen!--Andthemanwho,atthehazardofhislife,haddeliveredyoufromallthesemortifications,istheonlypersonyoucannotforgive!

Can'tyougoon,Sir?YouseeIhavepatiencetohearyou.Can'tyougoon,Sir?

Ican,Madam,withmysufferings:whichIconfessoughtnottobementioned,wereIatlasttoberewardedinthemannerIhoped.

Yoursufferingsthen,ifyouplease,Sir?

Affrontinglyforbiddenyourfather'shouse,afterencouragementgiven,withoutanyreasonstheyknewnotbeforetojustifytheprohibition:forceduponarencounterIwishedtoavoid:thefirstIever,soprovoked,wishedtoavoid.Andthat,becausethewretchwasyourbrother!

Wretch,Sir!--Andmybrother!--Thiscouldbefromnomanbreathing,butfromhimbeforeme!

Pardonme,Madam!--Butoh!howunworthytobeyourbrother!--Thequarrelgrafteduponanoldone,whenatcollege;heuniversallyknowntobetheaggressor;andrevivedforviewsequallysordidandinjuriousbothtoyourselfandme--givinglifetohim,whowouldhavetakenawaymine!

YourgenerosityTHIS,Sir;notyoursufferings:alittlemoreofyoursufferings,ifyouplease!--Ihopeyoudonotrepent,thatyoudidnotmurdermybrother!

Myprivatelifehuntedinto!Mymoralsdecried!Someoftheaccusersnotunfaulty!

That'sanaspersion,Sir!

Spiessetuponmyconduct!Onehiredtobribemyownservant'sfidelity;perhapstohavepoisonedmeatlast,ifthehonestfellowhadnot--

Facts,Mr.Lovelace!--Doyouwantfactsinthedisplayofyoursufferings?--Noneofyourperhaps's,Ibeseechyou!



Menaceseveryday,anddefiances,putintoeveryone'smouthagainstme!Forcedtocreepaboutindisguises--andtowatchallhours--

Andinallweathers,Isuppose,Sir--That,Iremember,wasonceyourgrievance!Inallweathers,Sir!*andallthesehardshipsarisingfromyourself,notimposedbyme.


Likeathief,oraneaves-dropper,proceededhe:andyetneitherbybirthnoralliancesunworthyoftheirrelation,whateverImaybeandamoftheiradmirabledaughter:ofwhomthey,everyoneofthem,areatleastasunworthy!--These,Madam,Icallsufferings:justlycallso;ifatlastIamtobesacrificedtoanimperfectreconciliation--imperfect,Isay:for,canyouexpecttolivesomuchastolerablyunderthesameroof,afterallthathaspassed,withthatbrotherandsister?

OSir,Sir!Whatsufferingshaveyoursbeen!Andallformysake,Iwarrant!--Icanneverrewardyouforthem!--NeverthinkofmemoreIbeseechyou--Howcanyouhavepatiencewithme?--Nothinghasbeenowingtoyourownbehaviour,Ipresume:nothingtoyourdefiancesfor

defiances:nothingtoyourresolutiondeclaredmorethanonce,thatyouwouldberelatedtoafamily,which,nevertheless,youwouldnotstooptoaskarelationof:nothing,inshorttocourseswhicheverybodyblamedyoufor,younotthinkingitworthyourwhiletojustifyyourself.HadInotthoughtyouusedinanungentlemanlymanner,asIhaveheretoforetoldyou,youhadnothadmynoticebypenandink.*Thatnoticegaveyouasupposedsecurity,andyougenerouslydefiedmyfriendsthemoreforit:andthisbroughtuponme(perhapsnotundeservedly)myfather'sdispleasure;withoutwhich,mybrother'sprivatepique,andselfishviews,wouldhavewantedafoundationtobuildupon:sothatforallthatfollowedofmytreatment,andyourredundantonly's,Imightthankyouprincipally,asyoumayyourselfforallyoursufferings,yourmightysufferings!--Andif,volubleSir,you

havefoundedanymerituponthem,besogoodastorevokeit:andlookuponme,withmyforfeitedreputation,astheonlysufferer--Forwhat--prayhearmeout,Sir[forhewasgoingtospeak]haveyousufferedinbutyourpride?Yourreputationcouldnotsuffer:thatitwasbeneathyoutobesolicitousabout.Andhadyounotbeenanunmanageableman,IshouldnothavebeendriventotheextremityInoweveryhour,asthehourpasses,deplore--withthisadditionalreflectionuponmyself,thatIoughtnottohavebegun,or,havingbegun,notcontinuedacorrespondencewithonewhothoughtitnotworthhiswhiletoclearhisowncharacterformysake,ortosubmittomyfatherforhisown,inapointwhereineveryfatheroughttohaveanoption--


Darkness,light;light,darkness;bymysoul;--justasyoupleasetohaveit.Ocharmerofmyheart!snatchingmyhand,andpressingitbetweenbothofhis,tohislips,inastrangewildway,takeme,takemetoyourself:mouldmeasyouplease:Iamwaxinyourhands;givemeyourownimpression;andsealmeforeveryours--wewerebornforeachother!--Youtomakemehappy,andsaveasoul--Iamallerror,allcrime.IseewhatIoughttohavedone.Butdoyouthink,Madam,Ican



willinglyconsenttobesacrificedtoapartialreconciliation,inwhichIshallbesogreat,soirreparableasufferer!--Anythingbutthat--includemeinyourterms:prescribetome:promiseformeasyouplease--putahalteraboutmyneck,andleadmebyit,uponconditionofforgivenessonthatdisgracefulpenance,andofaprostrationasservile,toyourfather'spenance(yourbrotherabsent),andIwillbeghisconsentathisfeet,andbearanythingbutspurningfromhim,becauseheisyourfather.Buttogiveyouupuponcoldconditions,d----nme[saidtheshockingwretch]ifIeitherwill,orcan!

Thesewerehiswords,asnearasIcanrememberthem;forhisbehaviourwassostrangelywildandfervent,thatIwasperfectlyfrighted.Ithoughthewouldhavedevouredmyhand.Iwishedmyselfathousandmilesdistantfromhim.

Itoldhim,Ibynomeansapprovedofhisviolenttemper:hewastooboisterousamanformyliking.Isawnow,bytheconversationthathadpassed,whatwashisboastedregardtomyinjunctions;andshouldtakemymeasuresaccordingly,asheshouldsoonfind.And,withahalffrightedearnestness,Idesiredhimtowithdraw,andleavemetomyself.

Heobeyed;andthatwithextremecomplaisanceinhismanner,butwithhiscomplexiongreatlyheightened,andacountenanceasgreatlydissatisfied.

But,onrecollectingallthatpassed,Iplainlyseethathemeansnot,ifhecanhelpit,toleavemetothelibertyofrefusinghim;whichIhadneverthelesspreservedarighttodo;butlooksuponmeashis,byastrangesortofobligation,forhavingrunawaywithmeagainstmywill.

Yetyouseehebuttouchesupontheedgesofmatrimonyneither.Andthatatatime,generally,whenhehaseitherexcitedone'spassionsorapprehensions;sothatonecannotatoncedescend.Butsurelythiscannotbehisdesign.--Andyetsuchseemedtobehisbehaviourtomysister,*whenheprovokedhertorefusehim,andsotamelysubmitted,ashedid,toherrefusal.Buthedarenot--Whatcanonesayofsovariousaman?--Iamnowagainoutofconceitwithhim.IwishIwerefairlyout

ofhispower.

*SeeVol.I.LettersII.andIII.

Hehassentupthreetimestobegadmittance;inthetwolastwithunusualearnestness.ButIhavesenthimword,IwillfinishwhatIamabout.

Whattodoaboutgoingfromthisplace,Icannottell.Icouldstayherewithallmyheart,asIhavesaidtohim:thegentlewomanandherdaughtersaredesirousthatIwill:althoughnotveryconvenientfor

them,Ibelieve,neither:butIseehewillnotleaveme,whileIdo--soImustremovesomewhere.

Ihavelongbeensickofmyself:andnowIammoreandmoreso.Butletmenotloseyourgoodopinion.IfIdo,thatlosswillcompletethemisfortunesof

YourCL.HARLOWE.



LETTERXXX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAYNIGHT,APRIL16.

Imaysendtoyou,althoughyouareforbidtowritetome;mayInot?--Forthatisnotacorrespondence(isit?)wherelettersarenotanswered.

Iamstrangelyatalosswhattothinkofthisman.HeisaperfectProteus.Icanbutwriteaccordingtotheshapeheassumesatthetime.Don'tthinkmethechangeableperson,Ibeseechyou,ifinoneletterIcontradictwhatIwroteinanother;nay,ifIseemtocontradictwhatIsaidinthesameletter:forheisaperfectcamelion;orrathermorevariablethanthecamelion;forthat,itissaid,cannotassumetheredandthewhite;butthismancan.Andthoughblackseemstobehisnaturalcolour,yethashetakengreatpainstomakemethinkhimnothingbutwhite.

ButyoushalljudgeofhimasIproceed.Only,ifIanywhereappeartoyoutobecredulous,Ibegyoutosetmeright:foryouareastander-by,asyousayinaformer*--WouldtoHeavenIwerenottoplay!

forIthink,afterall,Iamheldtoadesperategame.

*SeeLetterVIII.ofthisvolume.

BeforeIcouldfinishmylasttoyou,hesentuptwicemoretobegadmittance.Ireturnedforanswer,thatIwouldseehimatmyowntime:Iwouldneitherbeinvadednorprescribedto.

Consideringhowweparted,andmydelayinghisaudience,ashesometimescallsit,Iexpectedhimtobeinnoverygoodhumour,whenIadmittedofhisvisit;andbywhatIwrote,youwillconcludethatIwasnot.Yet

minesoonchanged,whenIsawhisextremehumilityathisentrance,andheardwhathehadtosay.

Ihavealetter,Madam,saidhe,fromLadyBettyLawrance,andanotherfrommycousinCharlotte.Butofthesemoreby-and-by.Icamenowtomakemyhumbleacknowledgementtoyouupontheargumentsthatpassedbetweenussolately.

Iwassilent,wonderingwhathewasdrivingat.

Iamamostunhappycreature,proceededhe:unhappyfromastrangeimpatiencyofspirit,whichIcannotconquer.Italwaysbringsuponmedeservedhumiliation.Butitismorelaudabletoacknowledge,thanto

perseverewhenunderthepowerofconviction.

Iwasstillsilent.

Ihavebeenconsideringwhatyouproposedtome,Madam,thatIshouldacquiescewithsuchtermsasyoushouldthinkpropertocomplywith,inordertoareconciliationwithyourfriends.

Well,Sir.



AndIfindalljust,alljust,onyourside;andallimpatience,allinconsiderationonmine.

Istared,youmaysuppose.Whencethischange,Sir?andsosoon?

Iamsomuchconvincedthatyoumustbeintherightinallyouthinkfittoinsistupon,thatIshallforthefuturemistrustmyself;and,ifitbepossible,wheneverIdifferwithyou,takeanhour'stimeforrecollection,beforeIgivewaytothatvehemence,whichanopposition,towhichIhavenotbeenaccounted,toooftengivesme.

Allthisismightygood,Sir:Buttowhatdoesittend?

Why,Madam,whenIcametoconsiderwhatyouhadproposed,astothetermsofreconciliationwithyourfriends;andwhenIrecollectedthatyouhadalwaysreferredtoyourselftoapproveorrejectme,accordingtomymeritsordemerits;Iplainlysaw,thatitwasratheracondescensioninyou,thanthatyouwereimposinganewlaw:andInow,Madam,begyourpardonformyimpatience:whatevertermsyouthinkpropertocomeintowithyourrelations,whichwillenableyoutohonourmewiththeconditionaleffectofyourpromisetome,tothesebepleasedtoconsent:andifIloseyou,insupportableasthatthoughtistome;yet,asitmustbebymyownfault,Ioughttothankmyselfforit.

Whatthinkyou,MissHowe?--Doyoubelievehecanhaveanyviewinthis?--Icannotseeanyhecouldhave;andIthoughtitbest,asheputitinsorightamanner,toappearnottodoubtthesincerityofhisconfession,andtoacceptofitassincere.

HethenreadtomepartofLadyBetty'sletter;turningdownthebeginning,whichwasalittletoosevereuponhim,hesaid,formyeye:andIbelieve,bythestyle,theremainderofitwasinacorrectivestrain.

Itwastooplain,Itoldhim,thathemusthavegreatfaults,thatnoneofhisrelationscouldwritetohim,butwithamingledcensureforsome

badaction.

Anditisasplain,mydearestcreature,saidhe,thatyou,whoknownotofanysuchfaults,butbysurmise,areequallyreadytocondemnme.--Willnotcharityallowyoutoinfer,thattheirchargesarenobettergrounded?--Andthatmyprincipalfaulthasbeencarelessnessofmycharacter,andtoolittlesolicitudetoclearmyself,whenaspersed?Which,Idoassureyou,isthecase.

LadyBetty,inherletter,expressesherselfinthemostobligingmannerinrelationtome.'Shewisheshimsotobehave,astoencouragemetomakehimsoonhappy.Shedesireshercomplimentstome;andexpressesherimpatiencetosee,asherniece,socelebratedalady[thoseareher

highwords].Sheshalltakeitforanhonour,shesays,tobeputintoawaytoobligeme.ShehopesIwillnottoolongdelaytheceremony;becausethatperformed,willbetoher,andtoLordM.andLadySarah,asurepledgeofhernephew'smeritsandgoodbehaviour.'

Shesays,'shewasalwayssorrytohearofthehardshipsIhadmetwithonhisaccount:thathewillbethemostungratefulofme,ifhemakeitnotalluptome:andthatshethinksitincumbentuponalltheirfamilytosupplytomethelostfavourofmyown:and,forherpart,nothingofthatkind,shebidshimassureme,shallbewanting.'



Herladyshipobserves,'Thatthetreatmenthehadreceivedfrommyfamilywouldhavebeenmuchmoreunaccountablethanitwas,withsuchnaturalandaccidentaladvantagesashehad,haditnotbeenowingtohisowncarelessmanners.ButshehopesthathewillconvincetheHarlowefamilythattheyhadthoughtworseofhimthanhehaddeserved;sincenowitwasinhispowertoestablishhischaracterforever.ThisshepraystoGodtoenablehimtodo,aswellforhisownhonour,asforthehonouroftheirhouse,'wasthemagnificentword.

Sheconcludes,with'desiringtobeinformedofournuptialsthemomenttheyarecelebrated,thatshemaybewiththeearliestinfelicitatingmeonthehappyoccasion.'

ButherLadyshipgivesmenodirectinvitationtoattendherbeforethemarriage:whichImighthaveexpectedfromwhathehadtoldme.

HethenshewedmepartofMissMontague'smoresprightlyletter,'congratulatinghimuponthehonourhehadobtained,oftheconfidenceofsoadmirablealady.'Theseareherwords.Confidence,mydear!Nobody,indeed,asyousay,willbelieveotherwise,weretheytobetoldthetruth:andyouseethatMissMontague(andallhisfamily,Isuppose)thinkthatthestepIhavetakenanextraordinaryone.'Shealsowishesforhisspeedynuptials;andtoseehernewcousinatM.

Hall:asdoLordM.shetellshim,andhersister;andingeneralallthewell-wishersoftheirfamily.

'Wheneverthishappydayshallbepassed,sheproposes,shesays,toattendme,andtomakeoneinmytraintoM.Hall,ifhisLordshipshallcontinueasillofthegoutasheisatpresent.Butthat,shouldhegetbetter,hewillhimselfattendme,sheissure,andconductmethither;andafterwardsquiteitherofhisthreeseatstous,tillweshallbesettledtoourmind.'

Thisyoungladysaysnothinginexcusefornotmeetingmeontheroad,orSt.Alban's,ashehadmademeexpectshewould:yetmentionsherhavingbeenindisposed.Mr.Lovelacehadalsotoldme,thatLordM.was

illofthegout;whichMissMontague'sletterconfirms.

Butwhydidnotthemanshowmetheseletterslastnight?Washeafraidofgivingmetoomuchpleasure?

LETTERXXXI


Youmaybelieve,mydear,thattheselettersputmeingoodhumourwithhim.Hesawitinmycountenance,andcongratulatedhimselfuponit.YetIcannotbutrepeatmywonder,thatIcouldnothavethecontentsofthemcommunicatedtomelastnight.*

*ThereaderwillseehowMissHoweaccountsforthis,inLetterXXXV.

HethenurgedmetogodirectlytoLadyBetty's,onthestrengthofher



letter.

Buthow,saidI,canIdothat,wereIevenoutofallhopeofareconciliationwithmyfriends,(whichyet,howeverunlikelytobeeffected,ismydutytoattempt,)asherLadyshiphasgivenmenoparticularinvitation?

That,hewassure,wasowingtoherdoubtthatitwouldbeaccepted--Elseshehaddoneitwiththegreatestpleasureintheworld.

Thatdoubtitself,Isaid,wasenoughtodeterme:sinceherLadyship,whoknewsowelltheboundariestothefitandtheunfit,byhernotexpectingIwouldacceptoftheinvitation,hadshegivenit,wouldhavereasontothinkmeveryforward,ifIhadacceptedit;andmuchmoreforwardtogowithoutit.Then,saidI,Ithankyou,Sir,Ihavenoclothesfittogoanywhere,ortobeseenbyanybody.

O,Iwasfittoappearinthedrawing-room,werefulldressandjewelstobeexcused;andshouldmakethemostamiable[hemustmeanextraordinary]figurethere.Hewasastonishedattheeleganceofmydress.Bywhatartheknewnot,butIappearedtosuchadvantage,asifIhadadifferentsuiteveryday.

Besides,hiscousinsMontaguewouldsupplymewithallIwantedforthe

present;andhewouldwritetoMissCharlotteaccordingly,ifIwouldgivehimleave.

Doyouthinkmethejayinthefable?saidI.Wouldyouhavemevisittheownersoftheborroweddressesintheirownclothes?Surely,Mr.Lovelace,youthinkIhaveeitheraverylow,oraveryconfidentmind.

WouldIchoosetogotoLondon(foraveryfewdaysonly)inordertofurnishmyselfwithclothes?

Notatyourexpense,Sir,saidI,inanangrytone.

Icouldnothaveappearedinearnesttohim,inmydispleasureathis

artfulcontrivancestogetmeaway,ifIwerenotoccasionallytoshewmyrealfretfulnessuponthedestituteconditiontowhichhehasreducedme.Whenpeoplesetoutwrongtogether,itisverydifficulttoavoidrecriminations.

Hewishedheknewbutmymind--Thatshoulddirecthiminhisproposals,anditwouldbehisdelighttoobserveit,whateveritwere.

Mymindis,thatyou,Sir,shouldleavemeoutofhand--HowoftenmustItellyouso?

IfIwereanywherebuthere,hewouldobeyme,hesaid,ifIinsisteduponit.ButifIwouldassertmyright,thatwouldbeinfinitely

preferable,inhisopinion,toanyothermeasurebutone(whichhedurstonlyhintat:)forthenadmittinghisvisits,orrefusingthem,asIpleased,(Grantingacorrespondencebyletteronly)itwouldappeartoalltheworld,thatwhatIhaddone,wasbutinordertodomyselfjustice.

Howoften,Mr.Lovelace,mustIrepent,thatIwillnotlitigatewithmyfather?DoyouthinkthatmyunhappycircumstanceswillaltermynotionsofmyowndutysofarasIshallbeenabledtoperformit?HowcanIobtainpossessionwithoutlitigation,andbutbymytrustees?Oneof



themwillbeagainstme;theotherisabroad.Thentheremedyproposedbythismeasure,wereIdisposedtofallinwithit,willrequiretimetobringitintoeffect;andwhatIwant,ispresentindependence,andyourimmediateabsence.

Uponhissoul,thewretchswore,hedidnotthinkitsafe,forthereasonshehadbeforegiven,toleavemehere.HewishedIwouldthinkofsomeplace,towhichIshouldliketogo.Buthemusttakethelibertytosay,thathehopedhisbehaviourhadnotbeensoexceptionable,astomakemesoveryearnestforhisabsenceintheinterim:andtheless,surely,asIwasalmosteternallyshuttingupmyselffromhim;althoughhepresumedtoassureme,thatheneverwentfromme,butwithacorrectedheart,andwithstrengthenedresolutionsofimprovingbymyexample.

Externallyshuttingmyselfupfromyou!repeatedI--Ihope,Sir,thatIexpecttobeuninvadedinmyretirements.Ihopeyoudonotthinkmesoweakacreature(noviceasyouhavefoundmeinaverycapitalinstance)astobefondofoccasionstohearyourfondspeeches,especiallyasnodifferingcircumstancesrequireyourover-frequentvisits;northatIamtobeaddressedto,asifIthoughthourlyprofessionsneedfultoassuremeofyourhonour.

Heseemedalittledisconcerted.

Youknow,Mr.Lovelace,proceededI,whyIamsoearnestforyourabsence.Itis,thatImayappeartotheworldindependentofyou;andinhopes,bythatmeans,tofinditlessdifficulttosetonfootareconciliationwithmyfriends.Andnowletmeadd,(inordertomakeyoueasierastothetermsofthathoped-forreconciliation,)thatsinceIfindIhavethegoodfortunetostandsowellwithyourrelations,Iwill,fromtimetotime,acquaintyou,byletter,whenyouareabsent,witheverystepIshalltake,andwitheveryoverturethatshallbemadetome:butnotwithanintentiontorendermyselfaccountabletoyou,neither,astomyacceptanceornon-acceptanceofthoseovertures.TheyknowthatIhaveapowergivenmebymygrandfather'swill,tobequeaththeestateheleftme,withotherofhisbounties,inawaythatmay

affectthem,thoughnotabsolutelyfromthem.Thisconsideration,Ihope,willprocuremesomefromthem,whentheirpassionsubsides,andwhentheyknowIamindependentofyou.

Charmingreasoning!--Andlethimtellme,thattheassuranceIhadgivenhimwasallhewishedfor.Itwasmorethanhecouldask.Whatahappinesstohaveawomanofhonourandgenerositytodependupon!Hadhe,onhisfirstentranceintotheworld,metwithsuchaone,hehadneverbeenotherthanamanofstrictvirtue.--Butall,hehoped,wasforthebest;since,inthatcase,hehadneverperhapshadthehappinesshenowhadinview;becausehisrelationshadalwaysbeenurginghimtomarry;andthatbeforehehadthehonourtoknowme.Andnow,ashehadnotbeensobadassomepeople'smalicereportedhimto

be,hehopedheshouldhavenearasmuchmeritinhisrepentance,asifhehadnevererred.--Afinerakishnotionandhope!Andtoomuchencouraged,Idoubt,mydear,bythegeneralityofoursex!

Thisbroughtonamoreseriousquestionortwo.You'llseebyitwhatacreatureanunmortifiedlibertineis.

Iaskedhim,ifheknewwhathehadsaid,alludedtoasentenceinthebestofbooks,Thatthereasmorejoyinheaven--



Hetookthewordsoutofmymouth,

Overonesinnerthatrepenteth,thanoverninety-and-ninejustpersons,whichneednorepentance,*werehiswords.

*Lukexv.7.TheparableisconcerningtheNinety-nineSheep,nottheProdigalSon,asMr.Lovelaceerroneouslyimagines.

Yes,Madam,Ithoughtofit,assoonasIsaidit,butnotbefore.IhavereadthestoryoftheProdigalSon,I'llassureyou;andoneday,whenIamsettledasIhopetobe,willwriteadramaticpieceonthesubject.Ihaveattimeshaditinmyhead;andyouwillbetooready,perhaps,toallowmetobequalifiedfroit.

Yousolately,Sir,stumbledataword,withwhichyoumustbebetteracquainted,ereyoucanbethoroughlymasterofsuchasubject,thatIamamazedyoushouldknowanythingoftheScripture,andbesoignorantofthat.*

*SeeLetterXXIV.ofthisvolume.

OMadam,IhavereadtheBible,asafinepieceofancienthistory--ButasIhopetobesaved,ithasforsomeyearspastmademesouneasy,whenIhavepoppeduponsomepassagesinit,thatIhavebeenforcedtoruntomusicorcompanytodivertmyself.

Poorwretch!liftingupmyhandsandeyes.

Thedenunciationscomesoslap-dashuponone,sounceremoniously,asImaysay,withouteventheBy-your-leaveofarudeLondonchairman,thattheyoverturnone,horseandman,asSt.Paulwasoverturned.There'sanotherScriptureallusion,Madam!Thelight,inshort,ashiswas,istooglaringtobeborne.

OSir,doyouwanttobecomplimentedintorepentanceandsalvation?Butpray,Mr.Lovelace,doyoumeananythingatall,whenyouswearsooftenasyoudo,Byyoursoul,orbindanasseverationwiththewords,Asyouhopetobesaved?

Omybelovedcreature,shiftinghisseat;letuscallanothercause.

Why,Sir,don'tIneitheruseceremonyenoughwithyou?

DearestMadam,forbearforthepresent:Iambutinmynoviciate.Yourfoundationmustbelaidbrickbybrick:you'llhindertheprogressofthegoodworkyouwouldpromote,ifyoutumbleinawholewagon-loadat

onceuponme.

Lordblessme,thoughtI,whatacharacteristhatofalibertine!WhatacreatureamI,whohaveriskedwhatIhaveriskedwithsuchaone!--Whatataskbeforeme,ifmyhopescontinueofreformingsuchawildIndianasthis!--Nay,worsethanawildIndian;foramanwhoerrswithhiseyesopen,andagainstconviction,isathousandtimesworseforwhatheknows,andmuchhardertobereclaimed,thanifhehadneverknownanythingatall.



Iwasequallyshockedathim,andconcernedforhim;andhavinglaidsofewbricks(tospeaktohisallusion)andthosesoill-cemented,Iwasaswillingasthegayandinconsideratetocallanothercause,ashetermedit--anothercause,too,moreimmediatelypressinguponme,frommyuncertainsituation.

Isaid,Itookitforgrantedthatheassentedtothereasoningheseemedtoapprove,andwouldleaveme.AndthenIaskedhim,whathereally,andinhismostdeliberatemind,wouldadvisemeto,inmypresentsituation?Hemustneedssee,Isaid,thatIwasatagreatlosswhattoresolveupon;entirelyastrangertoLondon,havingnoadviser,noprotector,atpresent:himself,hemustgivemeleavetotellhim,greatlydeficientinpractice,ifnotintheknowledge,ofthosedecorums,which,Ihadsupposed,werealwaystobefoundinamanofbirth,fortune,andeducation.

Heimagineshimself,Ifind,tobeaverypoliteman,andcannotbeartobethoughtotherwise.Heputuphislip--Iamsorryforit,Madam--amanofbreeding,amanofpoliteness,givemeleavetosay,[colouring,]ismuchmoreofablackswanwithyou,thanwithanyladyIevermetwith.

Thenthatisyourmisfortune,Mr.Lovelace,aswellasmine,atpresent.Everywomanofdiscernment,IsayasIsay,[Ihadamindtomortifyapride,thatIamsuredeservestobemortified;]thatyourpolitenessis

notregular,norconstant.Itisnothabit.Itistoomuchseenbyfitsandstarts,andsallies,andthosenotspontaneous.Youmustberemindedintothem.

OLord!OLord!--PoorI!--wasthelight,yetthehalf-angrywretch'sself-pityingexpression!

Iproceeded.--Uponmyword,Sir,youarenottheaccomplishedman,whichyourtalentsandopportunitieswouldhaveledonetoexpectyoutobe.Youareindeedinyournoviciate,astoeverylaudableattainment.

LETTERXXXII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE[INCONTINUATION.]

Asthissubjectwasintroducedbyhimself,andtreatedsolightlybyhim,Iwasgoingontotellhimmoreofmymind;butheinterruptedme--Dear,dearMadam,spareme.IamsorrythatIhavelivedtothishourfornothingatall.Butsurelyyoucouldnothavequittedasubjectsomuchmoreagreeable,andsomuchmoresuitable,Iwillsay,toyourpresentsituation,ifyouhadnottoocruelapleasureinmortifyingaman,whothelessneededtobemortified,ashebeforelookeduptoyou

withadiffidenceinhisownmeritstoogreattopermithimtospeakhalfofhismindtoyou.Bepleasedbuttoreturntothesubjectwewereupon;andatanothertimeIwillgladlyembracecorrectionfromtheonlylipsintheworldsoqualifiedtogiveit.

Youtalkofreformationsometimes,Mr.Lovelace,andinsotalking,acknowledgeerrors.ButIseeyoucanveryillbearthereproof,forwhichperhapsyouarenotsolicitoustoavoidgivingoccasion.Farbeitfrommetotakedelightinfindingfault;Ishouldbegladforbothoursakes,sincemysituationiswhatitis,thatIcoulddonothingbut



praiseyou.Butfailureswhichaffectamindthatneednotbeverydelicatetobeaffectedbythem,aretoogratingtobepassedoverinsilencebyapersonwhowisestobethoughinearnestinherownduties.

Iadmireyourdelicacy,Madam,againinterruptedhe.AlthoughIsufferbyit,yetwouldInothaveitotherwise:indeedIwouldnot,whenIconsiderofit.Itisanangelicdelicacy,whichsetsyouabovealloursex,andevenaboveyourown.Itisnaturaltoyou,Madam;soyoumaythinkitextraordinary:butthereisnothinglikeitonearth,saidtheflatterer--Whatcompanyhashekept!

Butletusreturntotheformersubject--YouweresogoodastoaskmewhatIwouldadviseyoutodo:Iwantbuttomakeyoueasy;Iwantbuttoseeyoufixedtoyourliking:yourfaithfulHannahwithyou;yourreconciliationwiththosetowhomyouwishtobereconciled,setonfoot,andinatrain.Andnowletmementiontoyoudifferentexpedients;inhopesthatsomeoneofthemmaybeacceptabletoyou.

'IwillgotoMrs.Howe,ortoMissHowe,ortowhomsoeveryouwouldhavemetogo,andendeavourtoprevailuponthemtoreceiveyou.*

*Thereader,perhaps,neednotberemindedthathehadtakencarefromthefirst(seeVol.I.LetterXXXI.)todepriveherofanyprotection

fromMrs.Howe.Seeinhisnextletter,arepeatedaccountofthesameartifices,andhisexultationsuponhisinventionstoimposeuponthetwosuchwatchfulladiesasClarissaandMissHowe.

'DoyouinclinetogotoFlorencetoyourcousinMorden?Iwillfurnishyouwithanopportunityofgoingthither,eitherbyseatoLeghorn,orbylandthroughFrance.PerhapsImaybeabletoprocureoneoftheladiesofmyfamilytoattendyou.EitherCharlotteorPattywouldrejoiceinsuchanopportunityofseeingFranceandItaly.Asformyself,Iwillonlybeyourescort,indisguise,ifyouwillhaveitso,eveninyourlivery,thatyourpunctiliomaynotreceiveoffencebymyattendance.'

Itoldhim,Iwouldconsiderofallhehadsaid:butthatIhopedforalineortwofrommyauntHervey,ifnotfrommysister,tobothofwhomIhadwritten,which,ifIweretobesofavoured,mighthelptodetermineme.Meantime,ifhewouldwithdraw,Iwouldparticularlyconsiderofthisproposalofhis,inrelationtomycousinMorden.Andifithelditsweightwithme,sofarastowriteforyouropinionuponit,heshouldknowmymindinanhour'stime.

Hewithdrewwithgreatrespect:andinanhour'stimereturned.AndIthentoldhimitwasunnecessarytotroubleyouforyouropinionaboutit.MycousinMordenwassoonexpected.Ifhewerenot,Icouldnotadmithimtoaccompanymetohimuponanycondition.Itwashighly

improbablethatIshouldobtainthefavourofeitherofhiscousins'company:andifthatcouldbebroughtabout,itwouldbethesamethingintheworld'seyeasifhewenthimself.

Thisledusintoanotherconversation;whichshallbethesubjectofmynext.



LETTERXXXIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INCONTINUATION.]

Mr.Lovelacetoldme,thatonthesuppositionthathisproposalinrelationtomycousinMordenmightnotbeaccepted,hehadbeenstudyingtofindout,ifpossible,someotherexpedientthatmightbeagreeable,inordertoconvinceme,thathepreferredmysatisfactiontohisown.

Hethenofferedtogohimself,andprocuremyHannahtocomeandattendme.AsIhaddeclinedtheserviceofeitheroftheyoungMissesSorlings,hewasextremelysolicitous,hesaid,thatIshouldhaveaservantinwhoseintegrityImightconfide.

Itoldhim,thatyouwouldbesokindastosendtoengageHannah,ifpossible.

Ifanything,hesaid,shouldpreventHannahfromcoming,supposehehimselfwaiteduponMissHowe,todesirehertolendmeherservanttillIwasprovidedtomymind?

Isaid,yourmother'shighdispleasureatthestepIhadtaken,(asshesupposed,voluntarily,)haddeprivedmeofanopenassistanceofthat

sortfromyou.

Hewasamazed,somuchasMrs.Howeherselfusedtoadmireme,andsogreataninfluenceasMissHowewassupposed,anddeservedtohaveoverhermother,thatMrs.Howeshouldtakeuponherselftobesomuchoffendedwithme.Hewishedthattheman,whotooksuchpainstokeepupandenflamethepassionsofmyfatheranduncles,werenotatthebottomofthismischieftoo.

Iwasafraid,Isaid,thatmybrotherwas:orelsemyuncleAntony,Idaredtosay,wouldnothavetakensuchpainstosetMrs.Howeagainstme,asIunderstoodhehaddone.

SinceIhaddeclinedvisitingLadySarah,andLadyBetty,heaskedme,ifIshouldacceptofavisitfromhiscousinMontague,andacceptofaservantofhersforthepresent?

Thatwasnot,Isaid,anacceptableproposal:butIwouldfirstseeifmyfriendswouldsendmemyclothes,thatImightnotmakesuchagiddyandrunawayappearancetoanyofhisrelations.

IfIpleased,hewouldtakeanotherjourneytoWindsor,tomakeamoreparticularinquiryamongstthecanons,orinanyworthyfamily.

Werenothisobjectionsastothepublicnessoftheplace,Iaskedhim,asstrongnowasbefore?

Iremember,mydear,inoneofyourformerletters,youmentionedLondonasthemostprivateplacetobein:*andIsaid,thatsincehemadesuchpretencesagainstleavingmehere,asshewedhehadnointentiontodoso;andsinceheengagedtogofromme,andleavemetopursuemyownmeasures,ifIwereelsewhere;andsincehispresencemadetheselodgingsinconvenienttome;IshouldnotbedisinclinedtogotoLondon,didIknowanybodythere.



*SeeVol.II.LetterXXXVII.

AshehadseveraltimesproposedLondontome,Iexpectedthathewouldeagerlyhaveembracedthatmotionfromme.Buthetooknotreadyholdofit:yetIthoughthiseyeapprovedofit.

Wearebothgreatwatchersofeachother'seyes;and,indeed,seemtobemorethanhalfafraidofeachother.

Hethenmadeagratefulproposaltome:'thatIwouldsendformyNortontoattendme.'*

*ThereaderisreferredtoMr.Lovelace'snextletter,forhismotivesinmakingtheseveralproposalsofwhichtheLadyiswillingtothinksowell.

Hesawbymyeyes,hesaid,thathehadatlastbeenhappyinanexpedient,whichwouldanswerthewishesofusboth.Why,sayshe,didInotthinkofitbefore?--Andsnatchingmyhand,ShallIwrite,Madam?ShallIsend?ShallIgoandfetchtheworthywomanmyself?

Afteralittleconsideration,Itoldhimthatthiswasindeedagratefulmotion:butthatIapprehendeditwouldputhertoadifficultywhichshewouldnotbeabletogetover;asitwouldmakeawomanofherknownprudenceappeartocountenanceafugitivedaughterinoppositiontoherparents;andashercomingtomewoulddepriveherofmymother'sfavour,withoutitsbeinginmypowertomakeituptoher.

Omybelovedcreature!saidhe,generouslyenough,letnotthisbeanobstacle.IwilldoeverythingforMrs.Nortonyouwishtohavedone.--Letmegoforher.

Morecoollythanperhapshisgenerositydeserved,ItoldhimitwasimpossiblebutImustsoonhearfrommyfriends.Ishouldnot,mean

time,embroilanybodywiththem.NotMrs.Nortonespecially,fromwhoseinterestin,andmediationwith,mymother,Imightexpectsomegood,wereshetokeepherselfinaneutralstate:that,besides,thegoodwomanhadamindaboveherfortune;andwouldsoonerwantthanbebeholdentoanybodyimproperly.

Improperly!saidhe.--Havenotpersonsofmeritarighttoallthebenefitsconferreduponthem?--Mrs.Nortonissogoodawoman,thatIshallthinkshelaysmeunderanobligationifshewillputitinmypowertoserveher;althoughshewerenottoaugmentit,bygivingmetheopportunity,atthesametime,ofcontributingtoyourpleasureandsatisfaction.

Howcouldthisman,withsuchpowersofrightthinking,besofardepravedbyevilhabits,astodisgracehistalentsbywrongacting?

Istherenotroom,afterall,thoughtI,atthetime,tohope(ashesolatelyledmetohope)thattheexampleitwillbehoveme,forbothoursakes,toendeavourtosethim,mayinfluencehimtoachangeofmanners,inwhichbothmayfindouraccount?

Givemeleave,Sir,saidI,totellyou,thereisastrangemixtureinyourmind.Youmusthavetakenpainstosuppressmanygoodmotions



andreflectionsastheyarose,orlevitymusthavebeensurprisinglypredominantinit.--Butastothesubjectwewereupon,thereisnotakinganyresolutionstillIhearfrommyfriends.

Well,Madam,Icanonlysay,Iwouldfindoutsomeexpedient,ifIcould,thatshouldbeagreeabletoyou.ButsinceIcannot,willyoubesogoodastotellmewhatyouwouldwishtohavedone?NothingintheworldbutIwillcomplywith,exceptingleavingyouhere,atsuchadistancefromtheplaceIshallbein,ifanythingshouldhappen;andinaplacewheremygossipingrascalshavemademeinamannerpublic,forwantofpropercautionsatfirst.

Thesevermin,addedhe,haveapridetheycanhardlyrein-in,whentheyserveamanoffamily.Theyboastoftheirmaster'spedigreeanddescent,asiftheywererelatedtohim.Norisanythingtheyknowofhim,orofhisaffairs,asecrettooneanother,wereitamatterthatwouldhanghim.

Ifso,thoughtI,menoffamilyshouldtakecaretogivethemsubjectsworthboastingof.

Iamquiteataloss,saidI,whattodoorwheretogo.Wouldyou,Mr.Lovelace,inearnest,advisemetothinkofgoingtoLondon?

AndIlookedathimwithstedfastness.ButnothingcouldIgatherfromhislooks.

Atfirst,Madam,saidhe,IwasforproposingLondon,asIwasthenmoreapprehensiveofpursuit.Butasyourrelationsseemcooleronthathead,Iamthemoreindifferentabouttheplaceyougoto.--Soasyouarepleased,soasyouareeasy,Ishallbehappy.

ThisindifferenceofhistoLondon,Icannotbutsay,mademeinclinethemoretogothither.Iaskedhim(tohearwhathewouldsay)ifhecouldrecommendmetoanyparticularplaceinLondon?

No,hesaid:nonethatwasfitforme,orthatIshouldlike.Hisfriend

Belford,indeed,hadveryhandsomelodgingsnearSoho-square,atarelation's,whosewifewasawomanofvirtueandhonour.These,asMr.Belfordwasgenerallyinthecountry,hecouldborrowtillIwasbetteraccommodated.

Iwasresolvedtorefusetheseatthefirstmention,asIshouldanyotherhehadnamed.Nevertheless,Iwillsee,thoughtI,ifhehasreallythoughtoftheseforme.IfIbreakoffthetalkhere,andheresumethisproposalwithearnestnessinthemorning,IshallapprehendthatheislessindifferentthanheseemstobeaboutmygoingtoLondon,andthathehasalreadyalodginginhiseyeforme.AndthenIwillnotgoatall.

Butaftersuchgenerousmotionsfromhim,IreallythinkitalittlebarbaroustoactandbehaveasifIthoughthimcapableoftheblackestandmostungratefulbaseness.Buthischaracter,hisprinciples,aresofaulty!Heissolight,sovain,sovarious,thatthereisnocertaintythathewillbenexthourwhatheisthis.Then,mydear,Ihavenoguardiannow;nofather,nomother!onlyGodandmyvigilancetodependupon.AndIhavenoreasontoexpectamiracleinmyfavour.

Well,Sir,saidI,[risingtoleavehim,]somethingmustberesolvedupon:butIwillpostponethissubjecttillto-morrowmorning.



Hewouldfainhaveengagedmelonger:butIsaidIwouldseehimasearlyashepleasedinthemorning.HemightthinkofanyconvenientplaceinLondon,ornearit,inmeantime.

AndsoIretiredfromhim.AsIdofrommypen;hopingforbetterrestforthefewhoursthatremainofthisnightthanIhavehadofalongtime.

CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERXXXIV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INCONTINUATION.]MONDAYMORNING,APRIL17.

LateasIwenttobed,Ihavehadverylittlerest.SleepandIhavequarreled;andalthoughIcourtit,itwillnotbefriends.Ihopeitsfellow-irreconcilablesatHarlowe-placeenjoyitsbalmycomforts.Elsethatwillbeanaggravationofmyfault.Mybrotherandsister,Idaresay,wantitnot.

Mr.Lovelace,whoisanearlyriser,aswellasI,joinedmeinthegardenaboutsix;andaftertheusualsalutations,askedmetoresumeourlastnight'ssubject.ItwasuponlodgingsatLondon,hesaid.

Ithinkyoumentionedonetome,Sir--Didyounot?

Yes,Madam,[but,watchingtheturnofmycountenance,]ratheraswhatyouwouldbewelcometo,thanperhapsapproveof.

Ibelievesotoo.Togototownuponanuncertainty,Iown,isnotagreeable:buttobeobligedtoanypersonsofyouracquaintance,whenIwanttobethoughtindependentofyou;andtoaperson,especially,to

whommyfriendsaretodirecttome,iftheyvouchsafetotakenoticeofmeatall,isanabsurdthingtomention.

HedidnotmentionitaswhatheimaginedIwouldaccept,butonlytoconfirmtomewhathehadsaid,thathehimselfknewofnonefitforme.

Hasnotyourfamily,Madam,someonetradesmantheydealwith,whohasconveniencesofthiskind?Iwouldmakeitworthsuchaperson'swhiletokeephissecretofyourbeingathishouse.Tradersaredealersinpins,saidhe,andwillbemoreobligedbyapennycustomer,thanbyapoundpresent,becauseitisintheirway:yetwillrefuseneither,anymorethanalawyeroramanofofficehisfee.

Myfather'stradesmen,Isaid,would,nodoubt,bethefirstemployedtofindmeout.Sothatthatproposalwasaswrongastheother.Andwhoisitthatacreaturesolatelyinfavourwithallherfriendscanapplyto,insuchasituationasmine,butmustbe(atleast)equallythefriendsofherrelations.

Wehadagooddealofdiscourseuponthesametopic.But,atlast,theresultwasthis--HewrotealettertooneMr.Doleman,amarriedman,offortuneandcharacter,(IexceptingtoMr.Belford,)desiringhimtoprovidedecentapartmentsreadyfurnished[Ihadtoldhimwhatthey



shouldbe]forasinglewoman;consistingofabed-chamber;anotherforamaidservant;withtheuseofadining-roomorparlour.Thisletterhegavemetoperuse;andthensealeditup,anddispatcheditawayinmypresence,byoneofhisownservants,who,havingbusinessintown,istobringbackananswer.

Iattendtheissueofit;holdingmyselfinreadinesstosetoutforLondon,unlessyou,mydear,advisethecontrary.

LETTERXXXV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SAT.,SUNDAY,MONDAY.

Hegives,inseveralletters,thesubstanceofwhatiscontainedinthelastsevenoftheLady's.

Hetellshisfriend,thatcallingatTheLawn,inhiswaytoM.Hall,(forheownsthathewentnottoWindsor,)hefoundthelettersfromLadyBettyLawrance,andhiscousinMontague,whichMrs.Gremewasaboutsendingtohimbya

specialmessenger.

Hegivestheparticulars,fromMrs.Greme'sreport,ofwhatpassedbetweentheLadyandher,asinLetterVI.andmakessuchdeclarationstoMrs.GremeofhishonourandaffectiontotheLady,asputheruponwritingthelettertohersisterSorlings,thecontentsofwhichareinLetterXXVIII.

Hethenaccounts,asfollows,fortheserioushumourhefoundherinonhisreturn:

Uponsuchgoodtermswhenweparted,Iwassurprisedtofindsosolemna

browuponmyreturn,andhercharmingeyesredwithweeping.ButwhenIhadunderstoodshehadreceivedlettersfromMissHowe,itwasnaturaltoimaginethatthatlittledevilhadputheroutofhumourwithme.

Itiseasyformetoperceive,thatmycharmerismoresullenwhenshereceives,andhasperused,aletterfromthatvixen,thanatothertimes.Butasthesweetmaidshews,eventhen,moreofpassivegrief,thanofactivespirit,Ihopesheisratherlamentingthanplotting.And,indeed,forwhatnowshouldsheplot?whenIambecomeareformedman,andamhourlyimprovinginmymorals?--Nevertheless,Imustcontrivesomewayorothertogetattheircorrespondence--onlytoseetheturnofit;that'sall.

Butnoattemptofthiskindmustbemadeyet.Adetectedinvasion,inanarticlesosacred,wouldruinmebeyondretrieve.Nevertheless,itvexesmetothehearttothinkthatsheishourlywritingherwholemindonallthatpassesbetweenherandme,Iunderthesameroofwithher,yetkeptatsuchawfuldistance,thatIdarenotbreakintoacorrespondence,thatmayperhapsbeameantodefeatallmydevices.

Woulditbeverywicked,Jack,toknockhermessengeronthehead,asheiscarryingmybeloved'sletters,orreturningfromMissHowe's?--Toattempttobribehim,andnotsucceed,wouldutterlyruinme.Andthe



manseemstobeoneusedtopoverty,onewhocansitdownsatisfiedwithit,andenjoyit;contentedwithhand-to-mouthconveniencies,andnotaimingtolivebetterto-morrow,thanhedoesto-day,andthanhedidyesterday.Suchaoneisabovetemptation,unlessitcouldcomeclothedintheguiseoftruthandtrust.Whatlikelihoodofcorruptingamanwhohasnohope,noambition?

Yettherascalhasbuthalflife,andgroansunderthat.ShouldIbeanswerableinhiscaseforawholelife?--Buthangthefellow!Lethimlive.WereIking,oraministerofstate,anAntonioPerez,*itwereanotherthing.Andyet,onsecondthoughts,amInotarake,asitiscalled?Andwhoeverknewarakestickatanything?Butthouknowest,Jack,thatthegreatesthalfofmywickednessisvapour,toshewmyinvention;andtoprovethatIcouldbemischievousifIwould.

*AntonioPerezwasfirstministerofPhilipII.kingofSpain,bywhosecommandhecausedDonJuandeEscovedotobeassassinated:whichbroughtonhisownruin,throughtheperfidyofhisvilermaster.--Gedde'sTracts.

WhenhecomestothatpartwheretheLadysays(LetterXXIX.)inasarcasticway,wavingherhand,andbowing,

'Excuseme,goodMr.Lovelace,thatIamwillingtothinkthebestofmyfather,'hegivesadescriptionofherairandmanner,greatlytoheradvantage;andsays,

Icouldhardlyforbeartakingherintomyarmsuponit,inspiteofanexpectedtempest.Somuchwit,somuchbeauty,suchalivelymanner,andsuchexceedingquicknessandpenetration!OBelford!shemustbenobody'sbutmine.IcannowaccountforandjustifyHerod'scommandtodestroyhisMariamne,ifhereturnednotalivefromhisinterviewwithCaesar:forwereItoknowthatitwerebutprobablethatanyothermanweretohavethischarmingcreature,evenaftermydeath,theverythoughtwouldbeenoughtoprovokemetocutthatman'sthroat,wereheaprince.

Imaybedeemedbythisladyarapid,aboisterouslover--andshemaylikemethelessforit:butalltheladiesIhavemetwith,tillnow,lovedtoraiseatempest,andtoenjoyit:nordidtheyeverraiseit,butIenjoyedittoo!--LordsendusoncehappilytoLondon!

Mr.Lovelacegivesthefollowingaccountofhisruderapture,whenheseizedherhand,andputher,byhisWILDmanner,assheexpressesit,LetterXXXIX.intosuchterror.

Darknessandlight,Iswore,wereconvertibleatherpleasure:shecouldmakeanysubjectplausible.Iwasallerror:sheallperfection.AndI

snatchedherhand;and,morethankissedit,Iwasreadytodevourit.Therewas,Ibelieve,akindofphrensyinmymanner,whichthrewherintoapanic,likethatofSemeleperhaps,whentheThunderer,inallhismajesty,surroundedwithtenthousandcelestialburning-glasses,wasabouttoscorchherintoacinder.

*****



Hadnotmyheartmisgivenme,andhadInot,justintime,recollectedthatshewasnotsomuchinmypower,butthatshemightabandonmeatherpleasure,havingmorefriendsinthathousethanIhad,Ishouldatthatmomenthavemadeoffers,thatwouldhavedecidedall,onewayorother.--But,apprehendingthatIhadshewntoomuchmeaninginmypassion,Igaveitanotherturn.--ButlittledidthecharmerthinkthatanescapeeithersheorIhad(astheeventmighthaveproved)fromthatsuddengustofpassion,whichhadliketohaveblownmeintoherarms.--Shewasborn,Itoldher,tomakemehappyandtosaveasoul.----

HegivestherestofhisvehementspeechprettynearlyinthesamewordsastheLadygivesthem:andthenproceeds:

Isawshewasfrighted:andshewouldhavehadreasonhadthescenebeenLondon,andthatplaceinLondon,whichIhaveinviewtocarryherto.Sheconfirmedmeinmyapprehension,thatIhadalarmedhertoomuch:shetoldme,thatshesawwhatmyboastedregardtoherinjunctionswas;andshewouldtakepropermeasuresuponit,asIshouldfind:thatshewasshockedatmyviolentairs;andifIhopedanyfavourfromher,Imustthatinstantwithdraw,andleavehertoherrecollection.

Shepronouncedthisinsuchamannerasshewedshewassetuponit;and,

havingsteppedoutofthegentle,andpolitepartIhadsonewlyengagedtoact,Ithoughtreadyobediencewasthebestatonement.AndindeedIwassensible,fromherangerandrepulses,thatIwantedtimemyselfforrecollection.AndsoIwithdrew,withthesamevenerationasapetitioningsubjectwouldwithdrawfromthepresenceofhissovereign.But,OBelford!hadshehadbuttheleastpatiencewithme--hadshebutmademethinkshewouldforgivethisinitiatoryardour--surelyshewillnotbealwaysthusguarded.--

Ihadnotbeenamomentbymyself,butIwassensiblethatIhadhalfforfeitedmynewly-assumedcharacter.Itisexceedinglydifficult,thouseest,foranhonestmantoactindisguises:asthepoetsays,ThrustNaturebackwithapitchfork,itwillreturn.Irecollected,thatwhat

shehadinsisteduponwasreallyapartofthatdeclaredwillbeforesheleftherfather'shouse,towhichinanothercase(tohumbleher)Ihadpretendedtohaveaninviolableregard.AndwhenIhadrememberedherwordsoftakinghermeasuresaccordingly,Iwasresolvedtosacrificealegoranarmtomakeallupagain,beforeshehadtimetodetermineuponanynewmeasures.

Howseasonablytothispurposehavecomeinmyaunt'sandcousin'sletters!

*****

Ihavesentinagainandagaintoimplorehertoadmitmetoherpresence.ButshewillconcludealettersheiswritingtoMissHowe,beforeshewillseeme.--Isupposetogiveheranaccountofwhathasjustpassed.

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Curseuponherperversetyranny!Howshemakesmewaitforanhumbleaudience,thoughshehasdonewritingforsometime!Aprincebeggingforheruponhiskneesshouldnotprevailuponmetospareher,ifIcanbutgethertoLondon--Oons!Jack,IbelieveIhavebitmylipthroughforvexation!--Butonedayher'sshallsmartforit.

Mr.Lovelace,beginninganewdate,givesanaccountofhisadmittance,andoftheconversationthatfollowed:whichdifferingonlyinstylefromthatoftheLadygivesinthenextletterisomitted.

Hecollectsthelady'sexpressions,whichhispridecannotbear:suchas,Thatheisastrangertothedecorumswhichshethoughtinseparablefromamanofbirthandeducation;andthatheisnottheaccomplishedmanheimagineshimselftobe;andthreatenstorememberthemagainsther.

Hevalueshimselfuponhisproposalsandspeeches,whichhegivestohisfriendprettymuchtothesamepurposethattheLadydoesinherfourlastletters.

AftermentioninghisproposaltoherthatshewouldborrowaservantfromMissHowe,tillHannahcouldcome,hewrites

asfollows:

Thouseest,Belford,thatmycharmerhasnonotionthatMissHoweherselfisbutapuppetdanceduponmywiresatsecondorthirdhand.Tooutwit,andimpel,asIplease,twosuchgirlsasthese,whothinktheyknoweverything;and,bytakingadvantageoftheprideandill-natureoftheoldonesofbothfamilies,toplaythemofflikewiseattheverytimetheythinktheyaredoingmespitefuldispleasure;whatcharmingrevenge!--Thenthesweetcreature,whenIwishedthatherbrotherwasnotatthebottomofMrs.Howe'sresentment,totellme,thatshewasafraidhewas,orherunclewouldnothaveappearedagainsthertothatlady!--Prettydear!howinnocent!

Butdon'tthinkmethecauseneitherofherfamily'smaliceandresentment.Itisallintheirhearts.Iworkbutwiththeirmaterials.They,iflefttotheirownwickeddirection,wouldperhapsexpresstheirrevengebyfireandfaggot;thatistosay,bytheprivatedagger,orbyLordChiefJustices'warrants,bylaw,andsoforth:Ionlypointthelightning,andteachitwheretodart,withoutthethunder.Inotherwords,Ionlyguidetheeffects:thecauseisintheirmalignanthearts:andwhileIamdoingalittlemischief,Ipreventagreatdeal.

ThusheexultsonhermentioningLondon:

IwantedhertoproposeLondonherself.Thismademeagainmention

Windsor.Ifyouwouldhaveawomandoonething,youmustalwaysproposeanother,andthattheverycontrary:thesex!theverysex!asIhopetobesaved!--Why,Jack,theylayamanunderanecessitytodealdoublywiththem!And,whentheyfindthemselvesoutwitted,theycryoutuponanhonestfellow,whohasbeentoohardforthemattheirownweapons.

Icouldhardlycontainmyself.Myheartwasatmythroat.--Down,down,saidItomyself,exuberantexultation!Asuddencoughbefriendedme;Iagainturnedtoher,allasindifferencedoverasagirlatthefirstlong-expectedquestion,whowaitsfortwomore.Iheardouttherestof



herspeech:andwhenshehaddone,insteadofsayinganythingtoherforLondon,IadvisedhertosendforMrs.Norton.

AsIknewshewouldbeafraidoflyingunderobligation,Icouldhaveproposedtodosomuchforthegoodwomanandherson,aswouldhavemadeherresolvethatIshoulddonothing:this,however,notmerelytoavoidexpense.ButtherewasnosuchthingasallowingofthepresenceofMrs.Norton.ImightaswellhavehadhermotherorherauntHerveywithher.Hannah,hadshebeenabletocome,andhadsheactuallycome,Icouldhavedonewellenoughwith.WhatdoIkeepfellowsidlinginthecountryfor,buttofallinlove,andeventomarrythosewhomIwouldhavethemmarry?Nor,uponsecondthoughts,wouldthepresenceofherNorton,orofheraunt,orevenofhermother,havesavedthedearcreature,hadIdecreedherfall.

Howunequalisamodestwomantotheadventure,whenshethrowsherselfintothepowerofarake!Punctiliowill,atanytime,standforreasonwithsuchanone.Shecannotbreakthroughawell-testedmodesty.Nonebuttheimpudentlittlerogues,whocannametheparsonandthechurchbeforeyouthinkofeither,andundressandgotobedbeforeyouthenexthour,shouldthinkofrunningawaywithaman.

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Iamintherighttrainnow.Everyhour,Idoubtnot,willgivemeanincreasinginterestintheaffectionsofthisproudbeauty.Ihavejustcarriedunpolitenessfarenoughtomakeherafraidofme;andtoshewher,thatIamnowhiner.Everyinstanceofpoliteness,now,willgivemedoublecreditwithher.Mynextpointwillbetomakeheracknowledgealambentflame,apreferenceofmetoallothermen,atleast:andthenmyhappyhourisnotfaroff.Anacknowledgedreciprocalityinlovesanctifieseverylittlefreedom:andlittlefreedomsbegetgreater.Andifshecallmeungenerous,Icancallhercruel.Thesexlovetobecalledcruel.ManyatimehaveIcomplainedofcruelty,evenintheactofyielding,becauseIknewitgratifiedthefairone'spride.

MentioningthathehadonlyhintedatMr.Belford'slodgingsasaninstancetoconfirmwhathehadtoldher,thatheknewofnoneinLondonfitforher,hesays,

Ihadamindtoalarmherwithsomethingfurthestfrommypurpose;for(asmuchasshedislikedmymotion)Iintendnothingbyit:Mrs.Osgoodistoopiousawoman;andwouldhavebeenmoreherfriendthanmine.

Ihadaview,moreover,togiveheranhighopinionofherownsagacity.Ilove,whenIdigaput,tohavemypreytumbleinwithsecurefeet,andopeneyes:thenamancanlookdownuponher,withanO-ho,charmer,

howcameyouthere?

MONDAY,APRIL17.

Ihavejustnowreceivedafreshpieceofintelligencefrommyagent,honestJosephLeman.ThouknowestthehistoryofpoorMissBettertonofNottingham.JamesHarloweisplottingtorevivetheresentmentsofherfamilyagainstme.TheHarlowestookgreatpains,sometimeago,toendeavourtogettothebottomofthatstory.Butnowthefoolishdevils



areresolvedtodosomethinginit,iftheycan.Myheadisworkingtomakethisbooby'squireaplotter,andacleverfellow,inordertoturnhisplotstomyadvantage,supposinghissistershallaimtokeepmeatarm'slengthwhenintown,andtosendmefromher.ButIwill,inpropertime,lettheeseeJoseph'sletter,andwhatIshallanswertoit.*Toknowintimeadesignedmischief,is,withme,todisappointit,andtoturnituponthecontriver'shead.

*SeeLettersXLVII.,XLVIII.ofthisvolume.

Josephisplaguysqueamishagain;butIknowheonlyintendsbyhisqualmstoswellhismeritswithme.OBelford!Belford!whatavilecorruptiblerogue,whetherinpoororrich,ishumannature!

LETTERXXXVI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INANSWERTOLETTERSXXVIII.--XXXIV.INCLUSIVE.]TUESDAY,APRIL18.

Youhaveamostimplacablefamily.AnothervisitfromyouruncleAntonyhasnotonlyconfirmedmymotheranenemytoourcorrespondence,buthasalmostputherupontreadingintheirsteps.--

Buttoothersubjects:

YoupleadgenerouslyforMr.Hickman.Perhaps,withregardtohim,Imayhavedone,asIhaveoftendoneinsinging--begunanoteorkeytoohigh;andyet,ratherthanbeginagain,proceed,thoughIstrainmyvoice,orspoilmytune.Butthisisevident,themanisthemoreobservantforit;andyouhavetaughtme,thatthespiritwhichisthehumblerforillusage,willbeinsolentuponbetter.So,goodandgrave

Mr.Hickman,keepyourdistancealittlelonger,Ibeseechyou.Youhaveerectedanaltartome;andIhopeyouwillnotrefusetobowtoit.

Butyouaskme,ifIwouldtreatMr.Lovelace,werehetobeinMr.Hickman'splace,asIdoMr.Hickman?Whyreally,mydear,IbelieveIshouldnot.--Ihavebeenverysagelyconsideringthispointofbehaviour(ingeneral)onbothsidesincourtship;andIwillverycandidlytellyoutheresult.Ihaveconcluded,thatpoliteness,eventoexcess,isnecessaryonthemen'spart,tobringustolistentotheirfirstaddresses,inordertoinduceustobowourneckstoayokesounequal.But,uponmyconscience,Iverymuchdoubtwhetheralittleintermingledinsolenceisnotrequisitefromthem,tokeepupthatinterest,whenonceithasgotfooting.Menmustnotletussee,thatwecanmake

foolsofthem.AndIthink,thatsmoothlove;thatistosay,apassionwithoutrubs;inotherwords,apassionwithoutpassion;islikeasleepystreamthatishardlyseentogivemotiontoastraw.Sothat,sometimestomakeusfear,andeven,forashortspace,tohatethewretch,isproductiveofthecontraryextreme.

Ifthisbeso,Lovelace,thanwhomnomanwasevermorepoliteandobsequiousatthebeginning,hashittheverypoint.Forhisturbulencesince,hisreadinesstooffend,andhisequalreadinesstohumblehimself,(asmustkeepawoman'spassionalive);andatlasttireher



intoanon-resistancethatshallmakeheraspassiveasatyrant-husbandwouldwishhertobe.

Iverilythink,thatthedifferentbehaviourofourtwoheroestotheirheroinesmakeoutthisdoctrinetodemonstration.Iamsomuchaccustomed,formyownpart,toHickman'swhining,creeping,submissivecourtship,thatInowexpectnothingbutwhineandcringefromhim:andamsolittlemovedwithhisnonsense,thatIamfrequentlyforcedtogotomyharpsichord,tokeepmeawake,andtosilencehishumdrum.WhereasLovelacekeepsuptheballwithawitness,andallhisaddressandconversationisonecontinualgameatraquet.

Yourfrequentquarrelsandreconciliationsverifythisobservation:andIreallybelieve,that,couldHickmanhavekeptmyattentionaliveaftertheLovelacemanner,onlythathehadpreservedhismorals,Ishouldhavemarriedthemanbythistime.Butthenhemusthavesetoutaccordingly.Fornowhecannever,neverrecoverhimself,that'scertain;butmustbeadanglertotheendofthecourtship-chapter;and,whatisstillworseforhim,apassivetotheendofhislife.

PoorHickman!perhapsyou'llsay.

Ihavebeencalledyourecho--PoorHickman!sayI.

Youwonder,mydear,thatMr.Lovelacetooknotnoticetoyouover-nightofthelettersofLadyBettyandhiscousin.Idon'tlikehiskeepingsuchamaterialandrelativecircumstance,asImaycallit,onemomentfromyou.Byhiscommunicatingthecontentsofthemtoyounextday,whenyouwasangrywithhim,itlooksasifhewithheldthemforoccasionalpacifiers;andifso,musthenothavehadaforethoughtthathemightgiveyoucauseforanger?Ofallthecircumstancesthathavehappenedsinceyouhavebeenwithhim,IthinkIlikethistheleast:thisalone,mydear,smallasitmightlooktoanindifferenteye,inminewarrantsallyourcaution.YetIthinkthatMrs.Greme'slettertohersisterSorlings:hisrepeatedmotionsforHannah'sattendance;andforthatofoneofthewidowSorlings'sdaughters;and,aboveall,forthatofMrs.Norton;areagreeablecounterbalances.Wereitnotfor

thesecircumstances,Ishouldhavesaidagreatdealmoreoftheother.Yetwhatafoolishfellow,toletyouknowover-nightthathehadsuchletters!--Ican'ttellwhattomakeofhim.

Iampleasedwiththecontentsoftheseladies'letters.Andthemore,asIhavecausedthefamilytobeagainsounded,andfindthattheyareallasdesirousaseverofyouralliance.

Theyreallyare(everyoneofthem)yourverygreatadmirers.AndasforLordM.,heissomuchpleasedwithyou,andwiththeconfidence,ashecallsit,whichyouhavereposedinhisnephew,thathevowshewilldisinherithim,ifherewarditnotasheought.Youmusttakecare,thatyoulosenotbothfamilies.

IhearMrs.Nortonisenjoined,asshevaluesthefavouroftheotherfamily,nottocorrespondeitherwithyouorwithme--Poorcreatures!--Buttheyareyour--yettheyarenotyourrelations,neither,Ibelieve.Hadyouhadanyothernurse,Ishouldhaveconcludedyouhadbeenchanged.Isufferbytheirlowmalice--excuseme,therefore.

YoureallyholdthismantohisgoodbehaviourwithmorespiritthanIthoughtyoumistressof;especiallywhenIjudgedofyoubythatmeeknesswhichyoualwayscontendedfor,astheproperdistinctionof



thefemalecharacter;andbythelove,which(thinkasyouplease)youcertainlyhaveforhim.Youmayratherbeproudofthanangryattheimputation;sinceyouaretheonlywomanIeverknew,read,orheardof,whoselovewassomuchgovernedbyherprudence.Butwhenoncetheindifferenceofthehusbandtakesplaceoftheardourofthelover,itwillbeyourturn:and,ifIamnotmistaken,thisman,whoistheonlyself-admirerIeverknewwhowasnotacoxcomb,willratherinhisdayexpecthomagethanpayit.

Yourhandsomehusbands,mydear,makeawife'sheartacheveryoften:andthoughyouareasfineapersonofawoman,attheleast,asheisofaman,hewilltaketoomuchdelightinhimselftothinkhimselfmoreindebtedtoyourfavour,thanyouaretohisdistinctionandpreferenceofyou.Butnoman,takeyourfinermindwithyourveryfineperson,candeserveyou.Soyoumustbecontented,shouldyourmeritbeunderrated;sincethatmustbeso,marrywhomyouwill.PerhapsyouwillthinkIindulgethesesortofreflectionsagainstyourNarcissus'sofmen,tokeepmymother'schoiceformeofHickmanincountenancewithmyself--Idon'tknowbutthereissomethinginit;atleast,enoughtohavegivenbirthtothereflection.

IthinktherecanbenoobjectiontoyourgoingtoLondon.There,asinthecentre,youwillbeinthewayofhearingfromeverybody,andsendingtoanybody.Andthenyouwillputallhissinceritytothe

test,astohispromisedabsence,andsuchlike.

Butindeed,mydear,Ithinkyouhavenothingforitbutmarriage.Youmaytry(thatyoumaysayyouhavetried)whatyourrelationscanbebroughtto:butthemomenttheyrefuseyourproposals,submittotheyoke,andmakethebestofit.Hewillbeasavage,indeed,ifhemakesyouspeakout.Yet,itismyopinion,thatyoumustbendalittle;forhecannotbeartobethoughtslightlyof.

Thiswasoneofhisspeechesonce;Ibelievedesignedforme--'Awomanwhomeansonedaytofavourherloverwithherhand,shouldshowtheworld,forherownsake,thatshedistinguisheshimfromthecommonherd.'

ShallIgiveyouanotherveryfinesentenceofhis,andinthetruelibertinestyle,ashespokeit,throwingouthischallenginghand?--'D--nhim,ifhewouldmarrythefirstprincessonearth,ifhebutthoughtshebalancedaminuteinherchoiceofhim,orofanemperor.'

Alltheworld,inshort,expectyoutohavethisman.Theythink,thatyouleftyourfather'shouseforthisverypurpose.Thelongertheceremonyisdelayed,theworseappearanceitwillhaveintheworld'seye.Anditwillnotbethefaultofsomeofyourrelations,ifaslurbenotthrownuponyourreputation,whileyoucontinueunmarried.YouruncleAntony,inparticular,speaksroughandvilethings,groundedupon

themoralsofhisbrotherOrson.Buthithertoyouradmirablecharacterhasantidotedthepoison;thedetractorisdespised,andeveryone'sindignationraisedagainsthim.

Ihavewrittenthroughmanyinterruptions:andyouwillseethefirstsheetcreasedandrumpled,occasionedbyputtingitintomybosomonmymother'ssuddencominguponme.Wehavehadoneveryprettydebate,Iwillassureyou;butitisnotworthwhiletotroubleyouwiththeparticulars.--Butuponmyworld--nomatterthough--



YourHannahcannotattendyou.Thepoorgirlleftherplaceaboutafortnightago,onaccountoftherheumaticdisorder,whichhasconfinedhertoherroomeversince.Sheburstintotears,whenKittycarriedtoheryourdesireofhavingherwithyou;andcalledherselfdoublyunhappy,thatshecouldnotwaituponamistresswhomshesodearlyloved.

Hadmymotheransweredmywishes,IshouldhavebeensorryMr.LovelacehadbeenthefirstproposerofmyKittyforyourattendant,tillHannahshouldcome.Tobealtogetheramongstrangers,andastrangertoattendyoueverytimeyouremove,isaverydisagreeablething.Butyourconsideratenessandbountywillmakeyoufaithfuloneswhereveryougo.

Youmusttakeyourownway:but,ifyousufferanyinconvenience,eitherastoclothesormoney,thatitisinmypowertoremedy,Iwillneverforgiveyou.Mymother,(ifthatisyourobjection)neednotknowanythingofthematter.

Wehaveallourdefects:wehaveoftenregrettedtheparticularfault,which,thoughinvenerablecharacters,wemusthavebeenblindnottosee.

Irememberwhatyouoncesaidtome;andthecautionwasgood:Letus,myNancy,wereyourwords;letus,whohavenotthesamefailings

asthosewecensure,guardagainstotherandgreaterinourselves.Nevertheless,Imustneedstellyou,thatmymotherhasvexedmealittleverylately,bysomeinstancesofherjealousnarrowness.Iwillmentiononeofthem,thoughIdidnotintendit.Shewantedtoborrowthirtyguineasofme:onlywhileshegotanotechanged.IsaidIcouldlendherbuteightorten.Eightortenwouldnotdo:shethoughtIwasmuchricher.Icouldhavetoldher,Iwasmuchcunningerthantoletherknowmystock;which,onareview,Ifindninety-fiveguineas;andallofthemmostheartilyatyourservice.

IbelieveyouruncleTonyputheruponthiswiseproject;forshewasoutofcashinanhourafterhelefther.

Ifhedid,youwilljudgethattheyintendtodistressyou.Ifitwillprovokeyoutodemandyourowninalegalway,Iwishtheywould;sincetheirputtingyouuponthatcoursewilljustifythenecessityofyourleavingthem.Andasitisnotforyourcredittoownthatyouweretrickedawaycontrarytoyourintention,thiswouldaffordareasonforyourgoingoff,thatIshouldmakeverygooduseof.You'llsee,thatIapproveofLovelace'sadviceuponthissubject.Iamnotwillingtoallowtheweightofyouranswertohimonthathead,whichperhapsoughttobeallowedit.*

*SeeLetterXXXI.ofthisvolume.

Youmustbethelesssurprisedattheinventionsofthisman,becauseofhisuncommontalents.Whateverhehadturnedhisheadto,hewouldhaveexcelledin;orbeen(ordonethings)extraordinary.Heissaidtoberevengeful:averybadquality!Ibelieve,indeed,heisadevilineverythingbuthisfoot--this,therefore,ismyrepeatedadvice--provokehimnottoomuchagainstyourself:butunchainhim,andlethimlooseuponyoursister'Betty,andyourbrother'sJosephLeman.Thisisresentinglow:butIknowtowhomIwrite,orelseIwouldgoagooddealhigher,[I'llassureyou.]



Yournext,Isuppose,willbefromLondon.Praydirectit,andyourfutureletters,tillfurthernotice,toMr.Hickman,athisownhouse.Heisentirelydevotedtoyou.Don'ttakesoheavilymymother'spartialityandprejudices.IhopeIampastababy.

Heavenpreserveyou,andmakeyouashappyasIthinkyoudeservetobe,prays


LETTERXXXVII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDN.MORNING,APRIL19.

Iamglad,mydearfriend,thatyouapproveofmyremovaltoLondon.

Thedisagreementbetweenyourmotherandyougivesmeinexpressibleaffliction.IhopeIthinkyoubothmoreunhappythanyouare.ButIbeseechyouletmeknowtheparticularsofthedebateyoucallavery

prettyone.Iamwellacquaintedwithyourdialect.WhenIaminformedofthewhole,letyourmotherhavebeeneversosevereuponme,Ishallbeeasieragreatdeal.--Faultypeopleshouldratherdeploretheoccasiontheyhavegivenforangerthanresentit.

IfIamtobeobligedtoanybodyinEnglandformoney,itshallbetoyou.Yourmotherneednotknowofyourkindnesstome,yousay--butshemustknowit,ifitbedone,andifshechallengemybelovedfrienduponit;forwouldyoueitherfalsifyorprevaricate?--Iwishyourmothercouldbemadeeasyonthishead--forgiveme,mydear,--butIknow--Yetonceshehadabetteropinionofme.--Omyinconsideraterashness!--Excusemeoncemore,Iprayyou.--Pride,whenitisnative,willshewitselfsometimesinthemidstofmortifications--butmy

stomachisdownalready.

*****

IamunhappythatIcannothavemyworthyHannah.Iamsorryforthepoorcreature'sillnessasformyowndisappointmentbyit.Come,mydearMissHowe,sinceyoupressmetobebeholdentoyou:andwouldthinkmeproudifIabsolutelyrefusedyourfavour;praybesogoodastosendhertwoguineasinmyname.

IfIhavenothingforit,asyousay,butmatrimony,ityieldslittle

comfort,thathisrelationsdonotdespisethefugitive,aspersonsoftheirrankandquality-pridemightbesupposedtodo,forhavingbeenafugitive.

ButOmycruel,thricecrueluncle!tosuppose--butmyheartchecksmypen,andwillnotletitproceed,onanintimationsoextremelyshockingasthatwhichhesupposes!--Yet,ifthustheyhavebeenpersuaded,nowonderiftheyareirreconcilable.

Thisisallmyhard-heartedbrother'sdoings!--Hissurmisings:--God



forgivehim--prayshisinjuredsister!

LETTERXXXVIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAY,APRIL20.

Mr.Lovelace'sservantisalreadyreturnedwithananswerfromhisfriendMr.Doleman,whohastakenpainsinhisinquiries,andisveryparticular.Mr.Lovelacebroughtmetheletterassoonashehadreadit:andashenowknowsthatIacquaintyouwitheverythingthatheoffers,Idesiredhimtoletmesendittoyouforyourperusal.Bepleasedtoreturnitbythefirstopportunity.Youwillseebyit,thathisfriendsintownhaveanotionthatweareactuallymarried.

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.TUESDAYNIGHT,APRIL18.

DEARSIR,

Iamextremelyrejoicedtohear,thatweshallsosoonhaveyouintown

aftersolonganabsence.Youwillbethemorewelcomestill,ifwhatreportsays,betrue;whichis,thatyouareactuallymarriedtothefairladyuponwhomwehaveheardyoumakesuchencomiums.Mrs.Doleman,andmysister,bothwishyoujoyifyouare;andjoyuponyournearprospectifyouarenot.

Ihavebeenintownforthisweekpast,togethelpifIcould,frommyparalyticcomplaints;andaminacourseforthem.Which,nevertheless,didnotpreventmefrommakingthedesiredinquiries.Thisistheresult.

Youmayhaveafirstfloor,wellfurnished,atamercer'sinBelford-street,Covent-garden,withconvenienciesforservants:and

theseeitherbythequarterormonth.Thetermsaccordingtotheconveniencesrequired.

Mrs.DolemanhasseenlodgingsinNorfolk-streetandothersinCecil-street;butthoughtheprospectstotheThamesandSurrey-hillslookinvitingfromboththesestreets,yetIsupposetheyaretoonearthecity.

TheownerofthoseinNorfolk-streetwouldhavehalfthehousegotogether.Itwouldbetoomuchforyourdescriptiontherefore:andIsuppose,tatwhenyouthinkfittodeclareyourmarriage,youwillhardlybeinlodgings.

ThoseinCecil-streetareneatandconvenient.Theownerisawidowofagoodcharacter;andsheinsists,thatyoutakethemforatwelvemonthcertain.

YoumayhavegoodaccommodationsinDover-street,atawidow's,therelictofanofficerintheguards,whodyingsoonafterhehadpurchasedhiscommission(towhichhehadagoodtitlebyservice,andwhichcosthimmostpartofwhathehad)shewasobligedtoletlodgings.



Thismaypossiblybeanobjection.Butsheisverycareful,shesays,thatshetakesnolodgers,butoffigureandreputation.Sherentstwogoodhouses,distantfromeachother,onlyjoinedbyalargehandsomepassage.Theinner-houseisthegenteelest,andveryelegantlyfurnished;butyoumayhavetheuseofaveryhandsomeparlourintheouter-house,ifyouchoosetolookintothestreet.

Alittlegardenbelongstotheinner-house,inwhichtheoldgentlewomanhasdisplayedatruefemalefancy;havingcrammeditwithvases,flower-pots,andfigures,withoutnumber.

Astheselodgingsseemedtomethemostlikelytopleaseyou,Iwasmoreparticularinmyinquiriesaboutthem.Theapartmentsshehastoletareintheinner-house:theyareadining-room,twoneatparlours,awithdrawing-room,twoorthreehandsomebedchambers,onewithaprettylightclosetinit,whichlooksintothelittlegarden,allfurnishedintaste.

Adignifiedclergyman,hiswife,andmaidendaughterwerethelastwholivedinthem.Theyhavebutlatelyquittedthem,onhisbeingpresentedtoaconsiderablechurchprefermentinIreland.Thegentlewomansaysthathetookthelodgingsbutforthreemonthscertain;butlikedthemandherusagesowell,thathecontinuedinthemtwoyears;andleftthemwithregret,thoughonsogoodanaccount.Shebragged,thatthis

wasthewayofallthelodgerssheeverhad,whostaidwithherfourtimesaslongastheyatfirstintended.

Ihadsomeknowledgeofthecolonel,whowasalwayslookeduponasamanofhonour.HisrelictIneversawbefore.Ithinkshehasamasculineair,andisalittleforbiddingatfirst:butwhenIsawherbehaviourtotwoagreeablegentlewomen,herhusband'snieces,whom,forthatreason,shecallsdoublyhers,andheardtheirpraisesofher,Icouldimputerherverybulktogoodhumour;sinceweseldomseeyoursourpeevishpeopleplump.Shelivesreputably,andis,asIfind,aforehandintheworld.

Ifthese,oranyotherofthelodgingsIhavementioned,benot

altogethertoyourlady'smind,shemaycontinueinthemthelesswhile,andchooseothersforherself.

Thewidowconsentsthatyoushalltakethemforamonthonly,andwhatofthemyouplease.Theterms,shesays,shewillnotfalloutupon,whensheknowswhatyourladyexpects,andwhatherservantsaretodo,oryourswillundertake;forsheobservedthatservantsaregenerallyworsetodealwiththantheirmastersormistresses.

Theladymayboardornotasshepleases.

Aswesupposeyouweremarried,butthatyouhavereason,fromfamily-differences,tokeepitprivateforthepresent,Ithoughtitnot

amisstohintasmuchtothewidow(butasuncertainty,however);andaskedher,ifshecould,inthatcase,accommodateyouandyourservants,aswellastheladyandhers?Shesaid,shecould;andwished,byallmeans,itweretobeso:sincethecircumstanceofaperson'sbeingsingle,itnotaswellrecommendedasthislady,wasoneoftheusualexceptions.

Ifnoneoftheselodgingsplease,youneednotdoubtveryhandsomeonesinornearHanover-square,Soho-square,Golden-square,orinsomeofthenewstreetsaboutGrosvenor-square.AndMrs.Doleman,hersister,



andmyself,mostcordiallyjointooffertoyourgoodladythebestaccommodationswecanmakeforheratUxbridge(andalsoforyou,ifyouarethehappymanwewishyoutobe),tillshefitsherselfmoretohermind.

Letmeadd,thatthelodgingsatthemercer's,thoseinCecil-street,thoseatthewidow'sinDover-street,anyofthem,maybeentereduponataday'swarning.

Iam,mydearSir,Yoursincereandaffectionatefriendandservant,THO.DOLEMAN.

Youwilleasilyguess,mydear,whenyouhavereadtheletter,whichlodgingsImadechoiceof.Butfirsttotryhim,(asinsomaterialapointIthoughtIcouldnotbetoocircumspect,)IseemedtopreferthoseinNorfolk-street,fortheveryreasonthewritergiveswhyhethoughtIwouldnot;thatistosay,foritsneighbourhoodtoacitysowellgovernedasLondonissaidtobe.NorshouldIhavedislikedalodgingintheheartofit,havingheardbutindifferentaccountsofthelibertiessometimestakenattheotherendofthetown.--ThenseemingtoinclinetothelodgingsinCecil-street--Thentothemercer's.Buthemadenovisiblepreference;andwhenIaskedhisopinionofthewidowgentlewoman's,hesaidhethoughtthosethemosttomytasteand

convenience:butashehopedthatIwouldthinklodgingsnecessarybutforaverylittlewhile,heknewnotwhichtogivehisvotefor.

Ithenfixeduponthewidow's;andhehaswrittenaccordinglytoMr.Doleman,makingmycomplimentstohisladyandsister,fortheirkindoffer.

Iamtohavethedining-room,thebed-chamberwiththelight-closet,(ofwhich,ifIstayanytimeatthewidow's,Ishallmakegreatuse,)andaservant'sroom;andweproposetosetoutonSaturdaymorning.Asforamaidservant,poorHannah'sillnessisagreatdisappointmenttome:but,asheobserves,Icanmakethewidowsatisfactionforoneofhers,tillIcangetaservanttomymind.AndyouknowIwantnotmuch

attendance.

*****

Mr.Lovelacehasjustnow,ofhisownaccord,givenmefiveguineasforpoorHannah.Isendtheminclosed.Besogoodastocausethemtobeconveyedtoher,andtoletherknowfromwhomtheycame.

Hehasobligedmemuchbythislittlemarkofhisconsiderateness.IndeedIhavethebetteropinionofhimeversinceheproposedherreturntome.

*****

Ihavejustnowanotherinstanceofhisconsiderateness.Hecametome,andsaidthat,onsecondthoughts,hecouldnotbearthatIshouldgouptotownwithoutsomeattendant,wereitbutforthelookofthethingtotheLondonwidowandhernieces,who,accordingtohisfriend'saccount,livedsogenteelly;andespeciallyasIrequiredhimtoleavemesosoon



afterIarrivedthere,andsowouldbeleftaloneamongstrangers.HethereforesoughtthatImightengageMrs.Sorlingstolendmeoneofhertwomaids,orletoneofherdaughtersgoupwithme,andstaytillIwereprovided.Andifthelatter,theyounggentlewoman,nodoubt,wouldbegladofsogoodanopportunitytoseethecuriositiesofthetown,andwouldbeaproperattendantonthesameoccasions.

ItoldhimasIhaddonebefore,thatthetwoyounggentlewomenweresoequallyusefulintheirway,andservantsinabusyfarmweresolittletobespared,thatIshouldbelothtotakethemofftheirlaudableemployments.NorshouldIthinkmuchofdiversionsforonewhile;andsothelesswantanattendantoutofdoors.

Andnow,mydear,lestanythingshouldhappen,insovariable,(whichatpresentaremorepromisingthaneveryettheyhavebeensinceIquittedHarlowe-place,)Iwillsnatchtheopportunitytosubscribemyself

Yournotunhopingandever-obligedfriendandservant,CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXXIX

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.THURSDAY,APRIL20.

HebeginswithcommunicatingtohimtheletterhewrotetoMr.Doleman,toprocuresuitablelodgingsintown,andwhichhesentawaybytheLady'sapprobation:andthengiveshimacopyoftheanswertoit(seep.218):uponwhichhethusexpresseshimself:

Thouknowestthewidow;thouknowesthernieces;thouknowestthelodgings:anddidstthoueverreadalettermoreartfullycouchedthanthisofTomDoleman?Everypossibleobjectionanticipated!Every

accidentprovidedagainst!Everytittleofitplot-proof!

Whocouldforbearsmiling,toseemycharmer,likeafarcicaldeanandchapter,choosewhatwasbeforechosenforher;andsagaciously(astheygoinformtoprayers,thatHeavenwoulddirecttheirchoice)ponderinguponthedifferentproposals,asifshewouldmakemebelieveshehadamindforsomeother?Thedearslyroguelookinguponme,too,withaviewtodiscoversomeemotioninme.EmotionsIhad;butIcantellherthattheylaydeeperthanhereyecouldreach,thoughithadbeenasun-beam.

Noconfidenceinme,fairone!Noneatall,'tisplain.Thouwiltnot,ifIwereinclinedtochangemyviews,encouragemebyagenerous

relianceonmyhonour!--AndshallitbesaidthatI,amasterofartsinlove,shallbeovermatchedbysounpractisedanovice?

Buttoseethecharmersofarsatisfiedwithmycontrivanceastoborrowmyfriend'sletter,inordertosatisfyMissHowelikewise--!

Sillylittlerogues!towalkoutintobye-pathsonthestrengthoftheirownjudgment!--Whennothingbutexperiencecanenablethemtodisappointus,andteachthemgrandmother-wisdom!Whentheyhaveitindeed,thenmaytheysitdown,likesomanyCassandras,andpreachcautionto



others;whowillaslittlemindthemastheydidtheirinstructresses,wheneverafinehandsomeconfidantyoungfellow,suchaoneasthouknowestwho,comesacrossthem.

But,Belford,didstthounotmindthatslyrogueDoleman'snamingDover-streetforthewidow'splaceofabode?--Whatdostthouthinkcouldbemeantbythat?--'Tisimpossiblethoushouldstguess,so,nottopuzzletheeaboutit,supposetheWidowSinclair'sinDover-streetshouldbeinquiredafterbysomeofficiousperson,inordertocomeatcharacters[MissHoweisasslyasthedevil,andasbusytothefull,]andneithersuchaname,norsuchahouse,canbefoundinthatstreet,norahousetoanswerthedescription;thenwillnotthekeenesthunterinEnglandbeatafault?

Buthowwiltthoudo,methinksthouaskest,tohindertheladyfromresentingthefallacy,andmistrustingtheethemoreonthataccount,whenshefindsitouttobeinanotherstreet?

Pho!nevermindthat:eitherIshallhaveawayforit,orweshallthoroughlyunderstandoneanotherbythattime;orifwedon't,she'llknowenoughofme,nottowonderatsuchapeccadilla.

Buthowwiltthouhindertheladyfromapprizingherfriendoftherealname?

Shemustfirstknowitherself,monkey,mustshenot?

Well,buthowwiltthoudotohinderherfromknowingthestreet,andherfriendfromdirectinglettersthither,whichwillbethesamethingasifthenamewereknown?

Letmealoneforthattoo.

Ifthoufurtherobjectest,thatTomDoleman,istoogreataduncetowritesuchaletterinanswertomine:--Canstthounotimaginethat,inordertosavehonestTomallthistrouble,Iwhoknowthetownsowell,couldsendhimacopyofwhatheshouldwrite,andleavehimnothingto

dobuttranscribe?

Whatnowsayestthoutome,Belford?

AndsupposeIhaddesignedthistaskofinquiryforthee;andsupposetheladyexceptedagainsttheefornootherreasonintheworld,butbecauseofmyvalueforthee?Whatsayestthoutothelady,Jack?

Thisitistohaveleisureuponmyhands!--Whatamatchlessplotterthyfriend!--Standby,andletmeswell!--Iamalreadyasbigasanelephant,andtentimeswiser!--Mightiertoobyfar!HaveInotreasontosnuffthemoonwithmyproboscis?--Lordhelptheeforapoor,foraverypoorcreature!--WondernotthatIdespisetheeheartily;sincethe

manwhoisdisposedimmoderatelytoexalthimself,cannotdoitbutbydespisingeverybodyelseinproportion.

IshallmakegooduseoftheDolemanichintofbeingmarried.ButIwillnottelltheeallatonce.Nor,indeed,haveIthoroughlydigestedthatpartofmyplot.Whenageneralmustregulatehimselfbythemotionsofawatchfuladversary,howcanhesaybeforehandwhathewill,orwhathewillnot,do?

WidowSINCLAIR,didstthounotsay,Lovelace?--



Ay,SINCLAIR,Jack!--Rememberthename!SINCLAIR,Irepeat.Shehasnoother.Andherfeaturesbeingbroadandfull-blown,IwillsupposehertobeofHighlandextraction;asherhusbandthecolonel[mindthattoo]wasaScot,asbrave,ashonest.

Ineverforgettheminutiaeinmycontrivances.Inallmattersthatadmitofdoubt,theminutiae,closelyattendedtoandprovidedfor,areofmoreservicethanathousandoaths,vows,andprotestationsmadetosupplytheneglectofthem,especiallywhenjealousyhasmadeitswayintheworkingmind.

Thouwouldstwonderifthouknewestonehalfofmyprovidences.Togivetheebutone--Ihavealreadybeensogoodastosendupalistofbookstobeprocuredforthelady'scloset,mostlyatsecondhand.Andthouknowestthatthewomenthereareallwellread.ButIwillnotanticipate--Besides,itlooksasifIwereafraidofleavinganythingtomyoldfriendCHANCE;whichhasmanyatimebeenanexcellentsecondtome,andoughtnotbeaffrontedordespised;especiallybyonewhohastheartofmakingunpromisingincidentsturnoutinhisfavour.

LETTERXL

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEWEDNESDAY,APRIL19.

Ihaveapieceofintelligencetogiveyou,whichconcernsyoumuchtoknow.

Yourbrotherhavingbeenassuredthatyouarenotmarried,hastakenaresolutiontofindyouout,waylayyou,andcarryyouoff.Afriendofhis,acaptainofaship,undertakestogetyouonship-board,andtosailawaywithyou,eithertoHullorLeith,inthewaytooneofyourbrother'shouses.

Theyareverywicked:forinspiteofyourvirtuetheyconcludeyoutoberuined.Butiftheycanbeassuredwhentheyhaveyouthatyouarenot,theywillsecureyoutilltheycanbringyououtMrs.Solmes.Meantime,inordertogiveMr.Lovelacefullemployment,theytalkofaprosecutionwhichwillbesetupagainsthim,forsomecrimetheyhavegotanotionof,whichtheythink,ifitdonotcosthimhislife,willmakehimflyhiscountry.

Thisisveryearlynews.MissBelltolditinconfidence,andwithmightytriumphoverLovelace,toMissLloyd,whoisatpresentherfavourite,thoughasmuchyouadmirerasever.MissLloyd,beingveryapprehensiveofthemischiefwhichmightfollowsuchanattempt,told

ittome,withleavetoapprizeyouprivatelyofit--andyetneithershenorIwouldbesorry,perhaps,ifLovelaceweretobefairlyhanged--thatistosay,ifyou,mydear,hadnoobjectiontoit.Butwecannotbearthatsuchanadmirablecreatureshouldbemadethetennis-balloftwoviolentspirits--muchlessthatyoushouldbeseized,andexposedtothebrutaltreatmentofwretcheswhohavenobowels.

IfyoucanengageMr.Lovelacetokeephistemperuponit,Ithinkyoushouldacquainthimwithit,butnottomentionMissLloyd.Perhapshiswickedagentmaycomeattheintelligence,andrevealittohim.But



leaveittoyourowndiscretionstodoasyouthinkfitinit.Allmyconcernis,thatthisdaringandfoolishproject,ifcarriedon,willbeameanofthrowingyoumoreintohispowerthanever.Butasitwillconvinceyouthattherecanbenohopeofareconciliation,Iwishyouwereactuallymarried,letthecauseforprosecutionhintedatbewhatitwill,shortofmurderorarape.

YourHannahwasverythankfulforyourkindpresent.Sheheapedathousandblessingsuponyouforit.ShehasMr.Lovelace'stoobythistime.

IampleasedwithMr.Hickman,Icantellyou:--forhehassenthertwoguineasbythepersonwhocarriesMr.Lovelace'sfive,asfromanunknownhand:noramI,oryou,toknowit.Buthedoesagreatmanythingsofthissort,andisassilentasthenightinhischarities;fornobodyknowsofthemtillthegratitudeofthebenefitedwillnotletthembeconcealed.Heisnowandthenmyalmoner,and,Ibelieve,alwaysaddstomylittlebenefactions.

Buthistimeisnotcometobepraisedtohisfaceforthesethings;nordoesheseemtowantthatencouragement.

Themancertainlyhasagoodmind.Norcanweexpectinonemaneverygoodquality.Butheisreallyasillyfellow,mydear,totroublehis

headaboutme,whenheseeshowmuchIdespisehiswholesex;andmustofcoursemakeacommonmanlooklikeafool,werehenottomakehimselflooklikeone,bywishingtopitchhistentsooddly.Ourlikingsanddislikings,asIhaveoftenthought,areseldomgovernedbyprudence,orwithaviewtohappiness.Theeye,mydear,thewickedeye,hassuchastrictalliancewiththeheart--andbothhavesuchenmitytothejudgment!--Whatanunequalunion,themindandbody!Allthesenses,likethefamilyatHarlowe-place,inaconfederacyagainstthatwhichwouldanimate,andgivehonourtothewhole,wereitalloweditsproperprecedence.

Permitme,Ibeseechyou,beforeyougotoLondontosendyouforty-eightguineas.Imentionthatsumtoobligeyou,because,by

acceptingbackthetwotoHannah,Iwillholdyouindebtedtomefifty.--Surelythiswillinduceyou!YouknowthatIcannotwantthemoney.ItoldyouthatIhadneardoublethatsum,andthatthehalfofitismorethanmymotherknowsIammistressof.Youareafraidthatmymotherwillquestionmeonthissubject;andthenyouthinkImustownthetruth.ButlittleasIloveequivocation,andlittleasyouwouldallowofitinyourAnnaHowe,itishardifIcannot(wereItobeputtoiteversoclosely)findsomethingtosaythatwouldbringmeoff,asyouhave,whatcanyoudoatsuchaplaceasLondon?--Youdon'tknowwhatoccasionyoumayhaveformessengers,intelligence,andsuchlike.Ifyoudon'tobligeme,Ishallnotthinkyourstomachsomuchdownasyousayitis,andas,inthisoneparticular,Ithinkitoughttobe.

Astothestateofthingsbetweenmymotherandme,youknowenoughofhertemper,nottoneedtobetoldthatsheneverespousesorresentswithindifference.YetwillshenotrememberthatIamherdaughter.No,truly,Iamallmypapa'sgirl.

Shewasverysensible,surely,oftheviolenceofmypoorfather'stemper,thatshecansolongrememberthat,whenactsoftendernessandaffectionseemquiteforgotten.Somedaughterswouldbetemptedtothinkthatcontroulsatveryheavyuponamother,whocanendeavourtoexertthepowershehasoverachild,andregret,foryearsafterdeath,that



shehadnotthesameoverahusband.

Ifthismannerofexpressionbecomesnotmeofmymother,thefaultwillbesomewhatextenuatedbytheloveIalwaysboretomyfather,andbythereverenceIshalleverpaytohismemory:forhewasafondfather,andperhapswouldhavebeenastenderahusband,hadnotmymotherandhebeentoomuchofatempertoagree.

Themisfortunewas,inshort,thatwhenonewasoutofhumour,theotherwouldbesotoo:yetneitheroftheirtemperscomparativelybad.Notwithstandingallwhich,Ididnotimagine,girlasIwasinmyfather'slife-time,thatmymother'spartoftheyokesatsoheavyuponherneckasshegivesmeroomtothinkitdid,wheneversheispleasedtodisclaimherpartofme.

Bothparents,asIhaveoftenthought,shouldbeverycareful,iftheywouldsecuretothemselvestheundividedloveoftheirchildren,that,ofallthings,theyshouldavoidsuchdurablecontentionswitheachother,asshoulddistresstheirchildreninchoosingtheirparty,whentheywouldbegladtoreverencebothastheyought.

Buthereisthething:thereisnotabettermanagerofaffairsinthesexthanmymother;andIbelieveanotablewifeismoreimpatientofcontroulthananindolentone.Anindolentone,perhaps,thinksshe

hassomethingtocompoundfor;whilewomenoftheothercharacter,Isuppose,knowtoowelltheirownsignificancetothinkhighlyofthatofanybodyelse.Allmustbetheirownway.Inoneword,becausetheyareuseful,theywillbemorethanuseful.

Idoassureyou,mydear,wereIman,andamanwholovedmyquiet,Iwouldnothaveoneofthesemanagingwivesonanyconsideration.Iwouldmakeitamatterofseriousinquirybeforehand,whethermymistress'squalifications,ifIheardshewasnotable,weremasculineorfeminineones.IfindeedIwereanindolentsupinemortal,whomightbeindangerofperhapschoosingtomarryforthequalificationsofasteward.

But,settingmymotheroutofthequestion,becausesheismymother,

haveInotseenhowLadyHartleypranksupherselfaboveallhersex,becausesheknowshowtomanageaffairsthatdonotbelongtohersextomanage?--Affairsthatdonocredittoherasawomantounderstand;practically,Imean;forthetheoryofthemmaynotbeamisstobeknown.

Indeed,mydear,Idonotthinkaman-womanaprettycharacteratall:and,asIsaid,wereIaman,Iwouldsoonerchooseadove,thoughitwerefitfornothingbut,astheplaysays,togotameabouthouse,andbreed,thanawifethatissettingatwork(myinsignificantselfpresentperhaps)everybusyourmynever-restingservants,thoseofthestudnotexcepted;andwho,withabesominherhand,asImaysay,wouldbecontinuallyfillingmywithapprehensionsthatshewantedto

sweepmeoutofmyownhouseasuselesslumber.

Wereindeedthemistressofafamily(likethewonderfulyoungladyIsomuchandsojustlyadmire)toknowhowtoconfineherselfwithinherownrespectableroundsoftheneedle,thepen,thehousekeeper'sbills,thedairyforheramusement;toseethepoorfedfromsuperfluitiesthatwouldotherwisebewasted,andexertherselfinallthereally-usefulbranchesofdomesticmanagement;thenwouldshemoveinherpropersphere;thenwouldsherenderherselfamiablyuseful,andrespectablynecessary;thenwouldshebecomethemistress-wheelofthefamily,



[whateveryouthinkofyourAnnaHowe,Iwouldnothaveherbethemaster-wheel,]andeverybodywouldloveher;aseverybodydidyou,beforeyourinsolentbrothercameback,flushedwithhisunmeritedacquirements,andturnedallthingstopsy-turvy.

Ifyouwillbeinformedoftheparticularsofourcontention,afteryouhaveknowningeneralthatyourunhappyaffairwasthesubject,whythen,IthinkImusttellyou.

YethowshallI?==Ifeelmycheekglowwithmingledshameandindignation.--Knowthen,mydear,--thatIhavebeen--asImaysay--thatIhavebeenbeaten--indeed'tistrue.Mymotherthoughtfittoslapmyhandstogetfrommeasheetofalettershecaughtmewritingtoyou;whichItore,becausesheshouldnotreadit,andburntitbeforeherface.

Iknowthiswilltroubleyou:sospareyourselfthepainstotellmeitdoes.

Mr.Hickmancameinpresentlyafter.Iwouldnotseehim.Iameithertoomuchawomantobebeat,ortoomuchachildtohaveanhumbleservant--soItoldmymother.Whatcanoneopposebutsullens,whenitwouldbeunpardonablesomuchastothinkofliftingupafinger?

IntheHarlowestyle,Shewillbeobeyed,shesays:andevenMr.Hickmanshallbeforbidthehouse,ifhecontributestothecarryingonofacorrespondencewhichshewillnotsuffertobecontinued.

Poorman!Hestandsawhimsicalchancebetweenus.Butheknowsheissureofmymother;butnotofme.'Tiseasythenforhimtochoosehisparty,wereitnothisinclinationtoserveyou,asitsurelyis.Andthismakeshimameritwithme,whichotherwisehewouldnothavehad;notwithstandingthegoodqualitieswhichIhavejustnowacknowledgedinhisfavour.For,mydear,letmyfaultsinotherrespectsbewhattheymay,Iwillpretendtosay,thatIhaveinmyownmindthosequalitieswhichIpraisedhimfor.Andifwearetocometogether,Icouldforthatreasonbetterdispensewiththeminhim.--Soifahusband,whohas

abountiful-temperedwife,isnotaniggard,norseekstorestrainher,buthasanopinionofallshedoes,thatisenoughforhim:as,onthecontrary,ifabountiful-temperedhusbandhasafrugalwife,itisbestforboth.Foronetogive,andtheothertogive,excepttheyhaveprudence,andareatsogoodanunderstandingwitheachotherastocomparenotes,theymayperhapsputitoutoftheirpowertobejust.Goodfrugaldoctrine,mydear!ButthiswayofputtingitismiddlingthematterbetweenwhatIhavelearntofmymother'sover-prudentandyourenlargednotions.--Butfromdoctrinetofact--

Ishutmyselfupallthatday;andwhatlittleIdideat,eatalone.ButatnightshesentupKittywithacommand,uponmyobedience,toattendheratsupper.

Iwentdown;butmostgloriouslyinthesullens.YES,andNO,weregreatwordswithme,toeverythingsheasked,foragoodwhile.

Thatbehaviour,shetoldme,shouldnotdoforher.

Beatingshouldnotdoforme,Isaid.

Myboldresistance,shetoldme,hadprovokedhertoslapmyhand;andshewassorrytohavebeensoprovoked.ButagaininsistedthatIwould



eithergiveupmycorrespondenceabsolutely,orletherseeallthatpassedinit.

Imustnotdoeither,Itoldher.Itwasunsuitablebothtomyinclinationandtomyhonour,attheinstigationofbasemindstogiveupafriendindistress.

Sherungallthematernalchangesuponthewordsduty,obedience,filialobligation,andsoforth.

Itoldherthatadutytoorigorouslyandunreasonablyexactedhadbeenyourruin,ifyouwereruined.

IfIwereofagetobemarried,Ihopeshewouldthinkmecapableofmaking,oratleastofkeeping,myownfriendships;suchaoneespeciallyasthis,withawomantoo,andonewhosefriendshipsheherself,tillthisdistressfulpointoftime,hadthoughtthemostusefulandedifyingthatIhadevercontracted.

Thegreaterthemerit,theworsetheaction:thefinerthetalents,themoredangeroustheexample.

Therewereotherduties,Isaid,besidesthefilialone;andIhopedIneednotgiveupasufferingfriend,especiallyattheinstigationof

thosebywhomshesuffered.Itoldher,thatitwasveryhardtoannexsuchaconditionasthattomyduty;whenIwaspersuaded,thatbothdutiesmightbeperformed,withoutderogatingfromeither:thatanunreasonablecommand(shemustexcuseme,Imustsayit,thoughIwereslappedagain)wasadegreeoftyranny:andIcouldnothaveexpected,thatattheseyearsIshouldbeallowednowwill,nochoiceofmyown!whereawomanonlywasconcerned,andthedevilishsexnotinthequestion.

Whatturnedmostinfavourofherargumentwas,thatIdesiredtobeexcusedfromlettingherreadallthatpassesbetweenus.Sheinsistedmuchuponthis:andsince,shesaid,youwereinthehandsofthemostintriguingmanintheworld,andamanwhohadmadeajestof

herfavouriteHickman,asshehadbeentold,sheknowsnotwhatconsequences,unthoughtofbyyourorme,mayflowfromsuchacorrespondence.

Soyousee,mydear,thatIfaretheworseonMr.Hickman'saccount!Mymothermightseeallthatpassesbetweenus,didInotknow,thatitwouldcrampyourspirit,andrestrainthefreedomofyourpen,asitwouldalsothefreedomofmine:andwereshenotmoreoversofirmlyattachedtothecontraryside,thatinferences,consequences,straineddeductions,censures,andconstructionsthemostpartial,wouldforevertobehaledintoteaseme,andwouldperpetuallysubjectustothenecessityofdebatingandcanvassing.

Besides,Idon'tchoosethatsheshouldknowhowmuchthisartfulwretchhasoutwitted,asImaycallit,apersonsomuchhissuperiorinallthenoblerqualitiesofthehumanmind.

Thegenerosityofyourheart,andthegreatnessofyoursoul,fullwellIknow;butdooffertodissuademefromthiscorrespondence.

Mr.Hickman,immediatelyonthecontentionabove,offeredhisservice;andIacceptedofit,asyouwillseebymylast.Hethinks,thoughhehasallhonourformymother,thatsheisunkindtousboth.Hewas



pleasedtotellme(withanair,asIthought)thathenotonlyapprovedofourcorrespondence,butadmiredthesteadinessofmyfriendship;andhavingnoopinionofyourman,butagreatoneofme,thinksthatmyadviceorintelligencefromtimetotimemaybeofusetoyou;andonthispresumptionsaid,thatitwouldbeathousandpitiesthatyoushouldsufferforwantofeither.

Mr.Hickmanpleasedmeinthemainofhisspeech;anditiswellthegeneraltenorofitwasagreeable;otherwiseIcantellhim,Ishouldhavereckonedwithhimforhiswordapprove;foritisastyleIhavenotyetpermittedhimtotalktomein.Andyousee,mydear,whatthesemenare--nosoonerdotheyfindthatyouhavefavouredthemwiththepowerofdoingyouanagreeableservice,buttheytakeuponthemtoapprove,forsooth,ofyouractions!Bywhichisimpliedarighttodisapprove,iftheythinkfit.

Ihavetoldmymotherhowmuchyouwishtobereconciledtoyourrelations,andhowindependentyouareuponLovelace.

Marktheendofthelatterassertion,shesays.Andastoreconciliation,sheknowsthatnothingwilldo,(andwillhaveit,thatnothingoughttodo,)butyourreturningback,withoutpresumingtoconditionwiththem.Andthisifyoudo,shesays,willbestshowyourindependenceonLovelace.

Yousee,mydear,whatyourdutyis,inmymother'sopinion.

Isupposeyournext,directedtoMr.Hickman,athisownhouse,willbefromLondon.

Heavenpreserveyouinhonourandsafety,ismyprayer.

Whatyoudoforchangeofclothes,Icannotimagine.

Itisamazingtomewhatyourrelationscanmeanbydistressingyou,astheyseemresolvedtodo.Iseetheywillthrowyouintohisarms,whetheryouwillornot.

IsendthisbyRobert,fordispatch-sake:andcanonlyrepeatthehitherto-rejectedofferofmybestservices.Adieu,mydearestfriend.Believemeever

YouraffectionateandfaithfulANNAHOWE.

LETTERXLI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETUESDAY,APRIL20.

Ishouldthinkmyselfutterlyunworthyofyourfriendshipdidnotmyownconcerns,heavyastheyare,soengrossme,thatIcouldnotfindleisureforafewlinestodeclaretomybelovedfriendmysinceredisapprobationofherconduct,inaninstancewheresheissogenerouslyfaulty,thattheconsciousnessofthatverygenerositymayhidefromherthefault,whichI,morethananyother,havereasontodeplore,asbeingtheunhappyoccasionofit.



Youknow,yousay,thatyouraccountofthecontentionsbetweenyourmotherandyouwilltroubleme;andsoyoubidmesparemyselfthepainstotellyouthattheydo.

Youdidnotuse,mydear,toforbidmethusbeforehand.Youwerewonttosay,youlovedmethebetterformyexpostulationswithyouonthatacknowledgedwarmthandquicknessofyourtemperwhichyourowngoodsensetaughtyoutobeapprehensiveof.WhatthoughIhavesomiserablyfallen,andamunhappy,ifeverIhadanyjudgmentworthregarding,itisnowasmuchworthasever,becauseIcangiveitasfreelyagainstmyselfasagainstanybodyelse.AndshallInot,whenthereseemstobeaninfectioninmyfault,andthatitleadsyoulikewisetoresolvetocarryonacorrespondenceagainstprohibition,expostulatewithyouuponit;whenwhateverconsequencesflowfromyourdisobedience,theybutwidenmyerror,whichisastheevilroot,fromwhichsuchsadbranchesspring?

Themindthatcangloryinbeingcapableofsonoble,sofirm,sounshakenfriendship,asthatofmydearMissHowe;afriendshipwhichnocasualtyordistresscanlessen,butwhichincreaseswiththemisfortunesofitsfriend--suchamindmustbeabovetakingamissthewell-meantadmonitionsofthatdistinguishedfriend.Iwillnotthereforeapologizeformyfreedomonthissubject:andthelessneedI,whenthatfreedomistheresultofanaffection,intheveryinstance,

soabsolutelydisinterested,thatittendstodeprivemyselfoftheonlycomfortleftme.

Youracknowledgedsullens;yourtearingfromyourmother'shandsthelettershethoughtshehadarighttosee,andburningit,asyouown,beforeherface;yourrefusaltoseetheman,whoissowillingtoobeyyouforthesakeofyourunhappyfriend,andthispurelytovexyourmother;canyouthink,mydear,uponthisbriefrecapitulationofhardlyonehalfofthefaultyparticularsyougive,thatthesefaultsareexcusableinonewhosowellknowsherduty?

Yourmotherhadagoodopinionofmeonce:isnotthatareasonwhysheshouldbemoreregardednow,whenIhave,asshebelieves,sodeservedly

forfeitedit?Aprejudiceinfavourisashardtobetotallyovercomeasaprejudiceindisfavour.Inwhatastronglight,then,mustthaterrorappeartoher,thatshouldsototallyturnherheartagainstme,herselfnotaprincipalinthecase?

Thereareotherduties,yousay,besidesthefilialduty:butthat,mydear,mustbeadutypriortoallotherduties;adutyanterior,asImaysay,toyouverybirth:andwhatdutyoughtnottogivewaytothat,whentheycomeincompetition?

Youarepersuaded,thatthedutytoyourfriend,andthefilialduty,maybeperformedwithoutderogatingfromeither.Yourmotherthinksotherwise.Whatistheconclusiontobedrawnfromthesepremises?

Whenyourmothersees,howmuchIsufferinmyreputationfromthestepIhavetaken,fromwhomsheandalltheworldexpectedbetterthings,howmuchreasonhasshetobewatchfuloveryou!Oneevildrawsonanotherafterit;andhowknowsshe,oranybody,whereitmaystop?

Doesnotthepersonwhowillvindicate,orseektoextenuate,afaultystepinanother[inthislightmustyourmotherlookuponthematterinquestionbetweenherandyou]giveanindicationeitherofaculpablewill,oraweakjudgment;andmaynotsheapprehend,thatthecensorious



willthink,thatsuchaonemightprobablyhaveequallyfailedunderthesameinducementsandprovocations,touseyourownwords,asappliedtomeinaformerletter?

Cantherebeastrongerinstanceinhumanliethanminehassoearlyfurnished,withinafewmonthspast,(nottomentiontheuncommonprovocationstoit,whichIhavemetwith,)ofthenecessityofthecontinuanceofawatchfulparent'scareoveradaughter:letthatdaughterhaveobtainedeversogreatareputationforherprudence?

Isnotthespacefromsixteentotwenty-onethatwhichrequiresthiscare,morethanatanytimeofayoungwoman'slife?Forinthatperioddowenotgenerallyattracttheeyesoftheothersex,andbecomethesubjectoftheiraddresses,andnotseldomoftheirattempts?Andisnotthattheperiodinwhichourconductormisconductgivesusareputationordisreputation,thatalmostinseparablyaccompaniesusthroughoutourwholefuturelives?

Arewenotlikewisethenmostindangerfromourselves,becauseofthedistinctionwithwhichweareapttobeholdparticularsofthatsex.

Andwhenourdangersmultiply,bothfromwithinandwithout,donotourparentsknow,thattheirvigilanceoughttobedoubled?Andshallthatnecessaryincreaseofcaresituneasyuponus,becausewearegrownup

tostatureandwomanhood?

Willyoutellme,ifso,whatistheprecisestatureandageatwhichagoodchildshallconcludeherselfabsolvedfromthedutysheowestoaparent?--Andatwhichaparent,aftertheexampleofthedamsofthebrutecreation,istolayasideallcareandtendernessforheroffspring?

Isitsohardforyou,mydear,tobetreatedlikeachild?Andcanyounotthinkitishardforagoodparenttoimagineherselfundertheunhappynecessityofsotreatingherwoman-growndaughter?

Doyouthink,ifyourmotherhadbeenyou,andyouyourmother,andyour

daughterhadstruggledwithyou,asyoudidwithher,thatyouwouldnothavebeenasaptasyourmotherwastohaveslappedyourdaughter'shands,tohavemadeherquitherhold,andgiveuptheprohibitedletter?

Yourmothertoldyou,withgreattruth,thatyouprovokedhertothisharshness;anditwasagreatcondescensioninher(andnottakennoticeofbyyouasitdeserved)tosaythatshewassorryforit.

Ateveryageonthissidematrimony(forthenwecomeunderanothersortofprotection,thoughthatisfarfromabrogatingthefilialduty)itwillbefound,thatthewingsofourparentsareourmostnecessaryandmosteffectualsafeguardfromthevultures,thehawks,thekites,and

othervillainousbirdsofprey,thathoveroveruswithaviewtoseizeanddestroyisthefirsttimewearecaughtwanderingoutoftheeyeorcareofourwatchfulandnaturalguardiansandprotectors.

Hardasyoumaysupposeit,tobedeniedtocontinuanceofacorrespondenceoncesomuchapproved,evenbythevenerabledenier;yet,ifyourmotherthinkmyfaulttobeofsuchanature,asthatacorrespondencewithmewillcastashadeuponyourreputation,allmyownfriendshavinggivenmeup--thathardshipistobesubmittedto.Andmustitnotmakeherthemorestrenuoustosupportherownopinion,when



sheseesthefirstfruitsofthistenaciousnessonyoursideistobegloriouslyinthesullens,asyoucallit,andinadisobedientopposition?

Iknowthatyouhaveahumourousmeaninginthatexpression,andthatthisturn,inmostcases,givesadelightfulpoignancybothtoyourconversationandcorrespondence;butindeed,mydear,thiscasewillnotbearhumour.

Willyougivemeleavetoaddtothistediousexpostulation,thatIbynomeansapproveofsomeofthethingsyouwrite,inrelationtothemannerinwhichyourfatherandmotherlived--attimeslived--onlyattimes,Idareday,thoughperhapstoooften.

Yourmotherisanswerabletoanybody,ratherthantoherchild,forwhateverwaswronginherconduct,ifanythingwaswrong,towardsMr.Howe:agentleman,ofwhosememoryIwillonlysay,thatitoughttobereveredbyyou--Butyet,shouldyounotexamineyourself,whetheryourdispleasureatyourmotherhadnopartinyourrevivedreverenceforyourfatheratthetimeyouwrote?

Nooneisperfect:andalthoughyourmothermaynotberighttorememberdisagreeablenessagainstthedeparted,yetshouldyounotwanttoberemindedonwhoseaccount,andonwhatoccasion,sherememberedthem.

Youcannotjudge,noroughtyoutoattempttojudge,ofwhatmighthavepassedbetweenboth,toembitterandkeepawakedisagreeableremembrancesinthesurvivor.

LETTERXLII


Butthissubjectmustnotbepursued.Anothermight,withmorepleasure,

(thoughnotwithmoreapprobation,)upononeofyourlivelyexcursions.Itisuponthehighairsyougiveyourselfuponthewordapprove.

Howcomesitabout,Iwonder,thatayoungladysonotedforpredominatinggenerosity,shouldnotbeuniformlygenerous?Thatyourgenerosityshouldfailinaninstancewherepolicy,prudence,gratitude,wouldnotpermitittofail?Mr.Hickman(asyouconfess)hadindeedaworthymind.IfIhadnotlongagoknownthat,hewouldneverhavefoundanadvocateinmeformyAnnaHowe'sfavourtohim.OftenandoftenhaveIbeenconcerned,whenIwasyourhappyguest,toseehim,afteraconversation,inwhichhehadwellsupportedhispartinyourabsence,sinkatonceintosilencethemomentyoucameintocompany.

Ihavetoldyouofthisbefore:andIbelieveIhintedtoyouonce,thatthesuperciliousnessyouputononlytohim,wascapableofaconstruction,whichatthetimewouldhaveverylittlegratifiedyourpridetohavehadmade;sinceitwouldhavebeenasmuchinhisfavour,asifyourdisfavour.

Mr.Hickman,mydear,isamodestman.Ineverseeamodestman,butIamsure(ifhehasnotwantedopportunities)thathehasatreasureinhismind,whichrequiresnothingbutthekeyofencouragementtounlockit,tomakehimshine--whileaconfidentman,who,tobeconfident,



mustthinkasmeanlyofhiscompanyashighlyofhimself,enterswithmagisterialairsuponanysubject;and,dependinguponhisassurancetobringhimselfoffwhenfoundout,talksofmorethanheismasterof.

Butamodestman!--Omydear,shallnotamodestwomandistinguishandwishtoconsortwithamodestman?--Aman,beforewhom,andtowhomshemayopenherlipssecureofhisgoodopinionofallshesays,andofhisjustandpoliteregardforherjudgment?andwhomustthereforeinspireherwithanagreeableself-confidence.

WhatalothaveIdrawn!--Weareallindeedapttoturnteachers--but,surely,Iambetterenabledtotalk,towrite,uponthesesubjects,thaneverIwas.ButIwillbanishmyself,ifpossible,fromanaddresswhich,whenIbegantowrite,Iwasdeterminedtoconfidewhollytoyourownparticular.

Mydearest,dearestfriend,howreadyareyoutotelluswhatothersshoulddo,andevenwhatamothershouldhavedone!Butindeedyouonce,Iremember,advanced,that,asdifferentattainmentsrequireddifferenttalentstomasterthem,so,inthewritingway,apersonmightnotbeabadcriticupontheworksofothers,althoughhemighthimselfbeunabletowritewithexcellence.Butwillyoupermitmetoaccountforallthisreadinessoffindingfault,byplacingittohumannature,which,beingsensibleofthedefectsofhumannature,(thatistosay,ofitsown

defects,)lovestobecorrecting?Butinexercisingthattalent,choosesrathertoturnitseyeoutwardthaninward?Inotherwords,toemployitselfratherintheout-doorsearch,thaninthein-doorexamination.

Andheregivemeleavetoadd,(andyetitiswithtenderreluctance,)thatalthoughyousayveryprettythingsofnotablewives;andalthoughIjoinwithyouinopinion,thathusbandsmayhaveasmanyinconvenienciestoencounterwith,asconvenienciestoboastof,fromwomen,ofthatcharacter;yetLadyHartleyperhapswouldhavehadmildertreatmentfromyourpen,haditnotbeendippedingallwithamotherinyoureye.

Astothemoney,yousogenerouslyandrepeatedlyoffer,don'tbeangry

withme,ifIagainsay,thatIamverydesirousthatyoushouldbeabletoaver,withouttheleastqualifyingorreserve,thatnothingofthatsorthaspassedbetweenus.Iknowyourmother'sstrongwayofputtingthequestionsheisintentuponhavinganswered.ButyetIpromisethatIwillbeobligedtonobodybutyou,whenIhaveoccasion.

LETTERXLIII


Andnow,mydear,afewwords,astotheprohibitionlaiduponyou;asubjectthatIhavefrequentlytouchedupon,butcursorily,becauseIwasafraidtotrustmyselfwithit,knowingthatmyjudgment,ifIdid,wouldcondemnmypractice.

Youcommandmenottoattempttodissuadeyoufromthiscorrespondence;andyoutellmehowkindlyMr.Hickmanapprovesofit;andhowobligingheistome,topermitittobecarriedonundercovertohim--butthisdoesnotquitesatisfyme.



Iamaverybadcasuist;andthepleasureItakeinwritingtoyou,whoaretheonlyonetowhomIcandisburdenmymind,maymakeme,asIhavehinted,verypartialtomyownwishes:else,ifitwerenotanartfulevasionbeneathanopenandfrankhearttowishtobecompliedwith,Iwouldbegladmethinkstobepermittedstilltowritetoyou;andonlytohavesuchoccasionalreturnsbyMr.Hickman'spen,aswellascover,asmightsetmerightwhenIamwrong;confirmme,whenright,andguidemewhereIdoubt.Thiswouldenablemetoproceedinthedifficultpathbeforemewithmoreassuredness.ForwhateverIsufferfromthecensureofothers,ifIcanpreserveyourgoodopinion,Ishallnotbealtogetherunhappy,letwhatwillbefallme.

Andindeed,mydear,Iknownothowtoforbearwriting.Ihavenownootheremploymentordiversion.AndImustwriteon,althoughIwerenottosendittoanybody.YouhaveoftenheardheowntheadvantagesIhavefoundfromwritingdowneverythingofmomentthatbefallsme;andofallIthink,andofallIdo,thatmaybeoffutureusetome;for,besidesthatthishelpstoformonetoastyle,andopensandexpandstheductilemind,everyonewillfindthatmanyagoodthoughtevaporatesinthinking;manyagoodresolutiongoesoff,drivenoutofmemoryperhapsbysomeothernotsogood.ButwhenIsetdownwhatIwilldo,orwhatIhavedone,onthisorthatoccasion;theresolutionoractionisbeforemeeithertobeadheredto,withdrawn,oramended;

andIhaveenteredintocompactwithmyself,asImaysay;havinggivenitundermyownhandtoimprove,ratherthantogobackward,asIlivelonger.

Iwouldwillingly,therefore,writetoyou,ifImight;theratherasitwouldbethemoreinspiritingtohavesomeendinviewinwhatIwrite;somefriendtoplease;besidesmerelyseekingtogratifymypassionforscribbling.

Butwhy,ifyourmotherwillpermitourcorrespondenceoncommunicatingtoherallthatpassesinit,andifshewouldcondescendtooneonlycondition,mayitnotbecompliedwith?

Wouldshenot,doyouthink,mydear,beprevailedupontohavethecommunicationmadetoher,inconfidence?

Iftherewereanyprospectofareconciliationwithmyfriends,Ishouldnothavesomuchregardformypride,astobeafraidofanybody'sknowinghowmuchIhavebeenoutwittedasyoucallit.Iwouldinthatcase(whenIhadleftMr.Lovelace)acquaintyourmother,andallmyownfriends,withthewholeofmystory.Itwouldbehovemesotodo,formyownreputation,andfortheirsatisfaction.

But,ifIhavenosuchprospect,whatwillthecommunicationofmyreluctancetogoawaywithMr.Lovelace,andofhisartstofrightenmeaway,availme?Yourmotherhashinted,thatmyfriendswouldinsist

uponmyreturninghometothem(asaproofofthetruthofmyplea)tobedisposedof,withoutcondition,attheirpleasure.IfIscrupledthis,mybrotherwouldrathertriumphoverme,thankeepmysecret.Mr.Lovelace,whosepridealreadysoillbrooksmyregretsformeetinghim,(whenhethinks,ifIhadnot,ImusthavebeenMr.Solmes'swife,)wouldperhapstreatmewithindignity:andthus,deprivedofallrefugeandprotection,Ishouldbecomethescoffofmenofintrigue;adisgracetomysex--whilethatavowedloved,howeverindiscreetlyshown,whichisfollowedbymarriage,willfindmoreexcusesmadeforit,thangenerallyitoughttofind.



But,ifyourmotherwillreceivethecommunicationinconfidence,prayshewherallthatIhavewritten,orshallwrite.Ifmypastconductinthatcaseshallnotbefoundtodeserveheavyblame,Ishallthenperhapshavethebenefitofheradvice,aswellasyour.Andif,afterare-establishmentinherfavour,Ishallwilfullydeserveblameforthetimetocome,Iwillbecontenttobedeniedyoursaswellashersforever.

Astocrampingmyspirit,asyoucallit,(wereItositdowntowritewhatIknowyourmothermustsee,)that,mydear,isalreadycramped.Anddonotthinksounhandsomelyofyourmother,astofearthatshewouldmakepartialconstructionsagainstme.NeitheryounorIcandoubt,butthat,hadshebeenleftunprepossessedlytoherself,shewouldhaveshownfavourtome.Andso,Idaresay,wouldmyuncleAntony.Nay,mydear,Icanextendmycharitystillfarther:forIamsometimesofopinion,thatweremybrotherandsisterabsolutelycertainthattheyhadsofarruinedmeintheopinionofbothmyuncles,asthattheyneednotbeapprehensiveofmyclashingwiththeirinterests,theywouldnotopposeapardon,althoughtheymightnotwishareconciliation;especiallyifIwouldmakeafewsacrificestothem:which,Iassureyou,IshouldbeinclinedtomakewereIwhollyfree,andindependentonthisman.YouknowInevervaluedmyselfuponworldlyacquisitions,butastheyenlargedmypowertodothingsIlovedto

do.AndifIweredeniedthepower,Imust,asInowdo,curbmyinclination.

DonothoweverthingmeguiltyofanaffectationinwhatIhavesaidofmybrotherandsister.SevereenoughIamsureitis,inthemostfavourablesense.Andanindifferentpersonwillbeofopinion,thattheyaremuchbetterwarrantedthanever,forthesakeofthefamilyhonour,toseektoruinmeinthefavourofallmyfriends.

Buttotheformertopic--try,mydear,ifyourmotherwill,upontheconditionabovegiven,permitourcorrespondence,onseeingallwewrite.Butifshewillnot,whataselfishnesswouldtherebeinmylovetoyou,wereItowishyoutoforegoyourdutyformysake?

Andnow,oneword,astothefreedomIhavetreatedyouwithinthistediousexpostularyaddress.Ipresumeuponyourforgivenessofit,becausefewfriendshipsarefoundedonsuchabasisasours:whichis,'freelytogivereproof,andthankfullytoreceiveitasoccasionsarise;thatsoeithermayhaveopportunitytoclearupmistakes,toacknowledgeandamenderrors,aswellinbehaviourasinwordsanddeeds;andtorectifyandconfirmeachotherinthejudgmenteachshallformuponpersons,things,andcircumstances.'Andallthisuponthefollowingconsideration;'thatitismuchmoreeligible,aswellashonourable,tobecorrectedwiththegentlenessthatmaybeexpectedfromanundoubtedfriend,than,bycontinuingeitherblindorwilful,toexposeourselvestothecensuresofanenviousandperhapsmalignant

world.'

Butitisasneedless,Idaresay,toremindyouofthis,asitistorepeatmyrequest,sooftenrepeated,thatyouwillnot,inyourturn,sparethefolliesandthefaultsof

YoureveraffectionateCL.HARLOWE.

SUBJOINEDTOTHEABOVE.



Isaid,thatIwouldavoidwritinganythingofmyownparticularaffairsintheaboveaddress,ifIcould.

Iwillwriteonelettermore,toinformyouhowIstandwiththisman.But,mydear,youmustpermitthatone,andyouranswertoit(forIwantyouradviceuponthecontentsofmine)andthecopyofoneIhavewrittentomyaunt,tobethelastthatshallpassbetweenus,whiletheprohibitioncontinues.

Ifear,Iverymuchfear,thatmyunhappysituationwilldrawmeintobeingguiltyofevasion,oflittleaffectations,andofcurvingsfromtheplainsimpletruthwhichIwaswonttodelightin,andprefertoeveryotherconsideration.Butallowmetosay,andthisforyoursake,andinordertolessenyourmother'sfearsofanyillconsequencesthatshemightapprehendfromourcorrespondence,thatifIamatanytimeguiltyofafailureintheserespects,Iwillnotgooninit,butendeavourtorecovermylostground,thatImaynotbringerrorintohabit.

Ihavedeferredgoingtotown,atMrs.Sorlings'searnestrequest.ButhavefixedmyremovaltoMonday,asIshallacquaintyouinmynext.

Ihavealreadymadeaprogressinthatnext;but,havinganunexpected

opportunity,willsendthisbyitself.

LETTERXLIV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEFRIDAYMORNING,APRIL21.

Mymotherwillnotcomplywithyourcondition,mydear.Ihintedittoher,asfrommyself.ButtheHarlowes(excuseme)havegotherentirelyinwiththem.Itisaschemeofmine,shetoldme,formedtodrawher

intoyourpartyagainstyourparents.Which,foryourownsake,sheisverycarefulabout.

Don'tbesomuchconcernedaboutmymotherandme,oncemore,Ibegofyou.Weshalldowellenoughtogether--nowafallingout,nowafallingin.

Itusedtobeso,whenyouwerenotinthequestion.

YetdoIgiveyoumysincerethanksforeverylineofyourreprehensiveletters;whichIintendtoreadasoftenasIfindmytemperrises.

Iwillfreelyown,however,thatIwincedalittleatfirstreading

them.ButIseethat,oneveryre-perusal,Ishallloveandhonouryoustillmore,ifpossible,thanbefore.

Yet,IthinkIhaveoneadvantageoveryou;andwhichIwillholdthroughthisletter,andthroughallmyfutureletters;thatis,thatIwilltreatyouasfreelyasyoutreatme;andyetwillneverthinkanapologynecessarytoyouformyfreedom.

Butthatyousothinkwithrespecttomeistheeffectofyourgentlenessoftemper,withalittlesketchofimpliedreflectiononthe



warmthofmine.Gentlenessinawomanyouholdtobenofault:nordoIalittledueorprovokedwarmth--Butwhatisthis,butpraisingonbothsideswhatwhatneitherofuscanhelp,norperhapswishtohelp?Youcannomoregooutofyourroad,thanIcangooutofmine.Itwouldbeapaintoeithertodoso:Whatthenisitineither'sapprovingofherownnaturalbias,butmakingavirtueofnecessity?

ButoneobservationIwilladd,thatwereyourcharacter,andmycharacter,tobetrulydrawn,minewouldbeallowedtobethemostnatural.Shadesandlightsareequallynecessaryinafinepicture.Yourswouldbesurroundedwithsuchafloodofbrightness,withsuchaglory,thatitwouldindeeddazzle;butleaveoneheartlesstoimitateit.

Omayyounotsufferfromabaseworldforyourgentleness;whilemytemper,byitswarmth,keepingallimpositionatadistance,thoughlessamiableingeneral,affordsmenotreason,asIhavementionedheretofore,towishtomakeanexchangewithyou!

Ishouldindeedbeinexcusabletoopenmylipsbywayofcontradictiontomymother,hadIsuchafinespiritasyourstodealwith.Truthistruth,mydear!Whyshouldnarrownessrunawaywiththepraisesduetoanobleexpansionofheart?Ifeverybodywouldspeakout,asIdo,(thatistosay,givepraisewhereonlypraiseisdue;dispraisewheredue

likewise,)shame,ifnotprinciple,wouldmendtheworld--nay,shamewouldintroduceprincipleinagenerationortwo.Verytrue,mydear.Doyouapply.Idarenot.--ForIfearyou,almostasmuchasIloveyou.

Iwillgiveyouaninstance,nevertheless,whichwilla-newdemonstrate,thatnonebutverygenerousandnoble-mindedpeopleoughttobeimplicitlyobeyed.YouknowwhatIsaidabove,thattruthistruth.

Inconveniencieswillsometimesarisefromhavingtodowithpersonsofmodestandscrupulousness.Mr.Hickman,yousay,isamodestman.Heputyourcorrectivepacketintomyhandwithaveryfinebow,andaself-satisfiedair[we'llconsiderwhatyousayofthishonestmanby-and-by,mydear]:hisstrutwasnogoneoff,whenincamemymother,

asIwasreadingit.

Whensomefolksfindtheirangerhasmadethemconsiderable,theywillbealwaysangry,orseekingoccasionsforanger.

Why,now,Mr.Hickman--why,now,Nancy,[asIwashuddlinginthepacketbetweenmygownandmystays,atherentrance.]Youhavealetterbroughtyouthisinstant.--Whilethemodestman,withhispausingbrayings,Mad-da--Mad-dam,lookedasifheknewnotwhethertofightitout,ortostandhisground,andseefairplay.

Itwouldhavebeenpoortotellalieforit.Sheflungaway.Iwentoutattheoppositedoor,toreadthecontents;leavingMr.Hickmanto

exercisehiswhiteteethuponhisthumb-nails.

WhenIhadreadyourletters,Iwenttofindoutmymother.Itoldherthegenerouscontents,andthatyoudesiredthattheprohibitionmightbeadheredto.Iproposedyourcondition,asformyself;andwasrejected,asabove.

Shesupposed,shewasfinelypaintedbetweentwo'youngcreatures,whohadmorewitthanprudence:'andinsteadofbeingprevaileduponbythegenerosityofyoursentiments,madeuseofyouropiniononlytoconfirm



herown,andrenewedherprohibitions,chargingmetoreturnnootheranswer,butthatshedidrenewthem:adding,thattheyshouldstand,tillyourrelationswerereconciledtoyou;hintingasifshehadengagedforasmuch:andexpectedmycompliance.

Ithoughtofyourreprehensions,andwasmeek,thoughnotpleased.Andletmetellyou,mydear,thataslongasIcansatisfymyownmind,thatgoodisintended,andthatitishardlypossiblethatevilshouldensuefromourcorrespondence--aslongasIknowthatthisprohibitionproceedsoriginallyfromthesamespitefulmindswhichhavebeentheoccasionofallthesemischiefs--aslongasIknowthatitisnotyourfaultifyourrelationsarenotreconciledtoyou,andthatuponconditionswhichnoreasonablepeoplewouldrefuse--youmustgivemeleave,withalldeferencetoyourjudgment,andtoyourexcellentlessons,(whichwouldreachalmosteverycaseofthiskindbutthepresent,)toinsistuponyourwritingtome,andthatminutely,asifthisprohibitionhadnotbeenlaid.

Itisnotfromhumour,fromperverseness,thatIinsistuponthis.Icannotexpresshowmuchmyheartisinyourconcerns.Andyoumust,inshort,allowmetothink,thatifIcandoyouservicebywriting,Ishallbebetterjustifiedincontinuingtowrite,thanmymotherisinherprohibition.

Butyet,tosatisfyyouallIcan,Iwillasseldomreturnanswers,whiletheinterdictlasts,asmaybeconsistentwithmynotionsoffriendship,andwiththeserviceIoweyou,andcandoyou.

AstoyourexpedientofwritingbyHickman[andnow,mydear,yourmodestmancomesin:andasyoulovemodestyinthatsex,Iwilldomyendeavour,byholdinghimataproperdistance,tokeephiminyourfavour]Iknowwhatyoumeanbyit,mysweetfriend.Itistomakethatmansignificantwithme.Astothecorrespondence,THATshallgoon,Idoassureyou,beasscrupulousasyouplease--sothatthatwillnotsufferifIdonotclosewithyourproposalastohim.

Imusttellyou,thatIthinkitwillbehonourenoughforhimtohave

hisnamemadeuseofsofrequentlybetwixtus.This,ofitself,isplacingaconfidenceinhim,thatwillmakehimwalkboltupright,anddisplayhiswhitehand,andhisfinediamondring;andmostmightilylaydownhisservices,andhispridetooblige,andhisdiligence,andhisfidelity,andhiscontrivancestokeepoursecret,andhisexcuses,andhisevasionstomymother,whenchallengedbyher;withfiftyana'sbeside:andwillitnotmoreovergivehimpretenceandexcuseoftenerthanevertopad-nagithithertogoodMrs.Howe'sfairdaughter?

Buttoadmithimintomycompanytete-a-tete,andintomycloset,asoftenasIwouldwishtowritetoyou,Ionlydictatetohispen--mymotherallthetimesupposingthatIwasgoingtobeheartilyinlovewithhim--tomakehimmasterofmysentiments,andofmyheart,asImay

say,whenIwritetoyou--indeed,mydear,Iwon't.Nor,wereImarriedtothebestHEinEngland,wouldIhonourhimwiththecommunicationofmycorrespondences.

No,mydear,itissufficient,surely,forhimtoparadeinthecharacterofourletter-conveyor,andtobehonouredinacover,andneverfearbut,modestasyouthinkhim,hewillmakeenoughofthat.

Youarealwaysblamingmeforwantofgenerositytothisman,andforabuseofpower.ButIprofess,mydear,Icannottellhowtohelpit.



Do,dear,now,letmespreadmyplumesalittle,andnow-and-thenmakemyselffeared.Thisismytime,youknow,sinceitwouldbenomoretomycreditthantohis,togivemyselfthoseairswhenIammarried.HehasajoywhenIampleasedwithhimthathewouldnotknow,butforthepainmydispleasuregiveshim.

Men,nomorethanwomen,knowhowtomakeamoderateuseofpower.Isnotthatseeneveryday,fromtheprincetothepeasant?IfIdonotmakeHickmanquakenow-and-then,hewillendeavourtomakemefear.Alltheanimalsinthecreationaremoreorlessinastateofhostilitywitheachother.Thewolf,thatrunsawayfromalion,willdevouralambthenextmoment.Iremember,thatIwasoncesoenragedatagamechickenthatwascontinuallypeckingatanother(apoorhumbleone,asIthoughthim)thatIhadtheoffendercaught,andwithoutmoreado,inapetofhumanity,wrunghisneckoff.Whatfollowedthisexecution?Whythatothergrewinsolent,assoonashisinsulterwasgone,andwascontinuallypeckingatoneortwounderhim.Peckandbehanged,saidI,--Imightaswellhavepreservedthefirst,forIseeitisthenatureofthebeast.

Excusemyflippancies.IwishIwerewithyou.Iwouldmakeyousmileinthemidstofyourgravestairs,asIusedtodo.Othatyouhadacceptedofmyoffertoattendyou!butnothingthatIofferwillyouaccept----Takecare!--Youwillmakemeveryangrywithyou:andwhenI

am,youknowIvaluenobody:for,dearlyasIloveyou,Imustbe,andcannotalwayshelpit,

YoursaucyANNAHOWE.

LETTERXLV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAY,APRIL22.

Mr.Lovelacecommunicatedtomethismorningearly,fromhisintelligencer,thenewsofmybrother'sscheme.Ilikehimthebetterformakingverylightofit,andforhistreatingitwithcontempt.Andindeed,hadInothadthehintofitfromyou,Ishouldhavesuspectedittobesomecontrivanceofhis,inordertohastenmetotown,wherehehaslongwishedtobehimself.

HereadmethepassageinthatLeman'sletter,whichisprettymuchtotheeffectofwhatyouwrotetomefromMissLloyd;withthisaddition,thatoneSingleton,amasterofaScotsvessel,isthemanwhoistobetheprincipalinthisactofviolence.

Ihaveseenhim.HehadbeentwiceentertainedatHarlowe-place,asmy

brother'sfriend.Hehastheairofaveryboldandfearlessman,andIfancyitmustbehisproject;asmybrother,Isuppose,talkstoeverybodyoftherashstepIhavetaken,forhedidnotsparemebeforehehadthisseemingreasontocensureme.

ThisSingletonlivesatLeith;so,perhaps,Iamtobecarriedtomybrother'shousenotfarfromthatport.

Puttingthesepassagestogether,Iamnotalittleapprehensivethatthedesign,lightlyasMr.Lovelace,fromhisfearlesstemper,treatsit,



maybeattemptedtobecarriedintoexecution;andoftheconsequencesthatmayattendit,ifitbe.

IaskedMr.Lovelace,seeinghimsofrankandcool,whathewouldadvisemetodo.

ShallIaskyou,Madam,whatareyourownthoughts?--WhyIreturnthequestion,saidhe,is,becauseyouhavebeensoveryearnestthatIshouldleaveyouassoonasyouareinLondon,thatIknownotwhattoproposewithoutoffendingyou.

Myopinionis,saidI,thatIshouldstudiouslyconcealmyselffromtheknowledgeofeverybodybutMissHowe;andthatyoushouldleavemeoutofhand;sincetheywillcertainlyconclude,thatwhereoneis,theotherisnotfaroff:anditiseasiertotraceyouthanme.

Youwouldnotsurelywish,saidhe,tofallintoyourbrother'shandsbysuchaviolentmeasureasthis?Iproposenottothrowmyselfofficiouslyintheirway;butshouldtheyhavereasontothinkIavoidedthem,wouldnotthatwhettheirdiligencetofindyou,andtheircouragetoattempttocarryyouoff,andsubjectmetoinsultsthatnomanofspiritcanbear?

Lordblessme!saidI,towhathadthisonefatalstepthatIhavebeen

betrayedinto----

DearestMadam,letmebeseechyoutoforbearthisharshlanguage,whenyousee,bythisnewscheme,howdeterminedtheywereuponcarryingtheiroldones,hadyounotbeenbetrayed,asyoucallit.HaveIofferedtodefythelawsofsociety,asthisbrotherofyoursmustdo,ifanythingbeintendedbythisproject?Ihopeyouwillbepleasedtoobservethatthereareasviolentandaswickedenterprisersasmyself.Butthisissoverywildaproject,thatIthinktherecanbenoroomforapprehensionsfromit.Iknowyourbrotherwell.Whenatcollege,hehadalwaysaromanticturn:butneverhadaheadforanythingbuttopuzzleandconfoundhimself.Ahalf-invention,andawholeconceit;butnotmasteroftalentstodohimselfgood,orothersharm,butasthose

othersgavehimthepowerbytheirownfolly.

Thisisveryvolublyrunoff,Sir!--Butviolentspiritsarebuttoomuchalike;atleastintheirmethodsofresenting.Youwillnotpresumetomakeyourselfalessinnocentman,surely,whohaddeterminedtobravemywholefamilyinperson,ifmyfollyhadnotsavedyoutherashness,andthemtheinsult--

DearMadam!--Stillmustitbefolly,rashness!--Itisasimpossibleforyoutothinktolerablyofanybodyoutofyourownfamily,asitisforanyoneinyourfamilytodeserveyourlove!Forgiveme,dearestcreature!IfIdidnotloveyouasnevermanlovedawoman,Imightappearmoreindifferenttopreferencessoundeservedlymade.Butletme

askyou,Madam,Whathaveyoubornefromme?WhatcausehaveIgivenyoutotreatmewithsomuchseverityandsolittleconfidence?Andwhathaveyounotbornefromthem?Maliceandill-will,sittinginjudgmentuponmycharacter,maynotgivesentenceinmyfavour:Butwhatofyourownknowledgehaveyouagainstme?

Spiritedquestions,weretheynot,mydear?--Andtheywereaskedwithasspiritedanair.Iwasstartled.ButIwasresolvednottodesertmyself.



Isthisatime,Mr.Lovelace,isthisaproperoccasiontaken,togiveyourselfthesehighairstome,ayoungcreaturedestituteofprotection?Itisasurprisingquestionyouaskme--HadIaughtagainstyouofmyownknowledge--Icantellyou,Sir--AndawayIwouldhaveflung.

Hesnatchedmyhand,andbesoughtmenottoleavehimindispleasure.Hepleadedhispassionforme,andmyseveritytohim,andpartialityforthosefromwhomIhadsufferedsomuch;andwhoseintendedviolence,hesaid,wasnowthesubjectofourdeliberation.

Iwasforcedtohearhim.

Youcondescended,dearestcreature,saidhe,toaskmyadvice.Itwasveryeasy,givemeleavetosay,toadviseyouwhattodo.IhopeImay,onthisnewoccasion,speakwithoutoffence,notwithstandingyourformerinjunctions--Youseethattherecanbenohopeofreconciliationwithyourrelations.Canyou,Madam,consenttohonourwithyourhandawretchwhomyouhaveneveryetobligedwithonevoluntaryfavour!

Whatarecriminating,whatareproachfulway,mydear,wasthis,ofputtingaquestionofthisnature!

Iexpectednotfromhim,atthetime,andjustasIwasveryangrywith

him,eitherthequestionorthemanner.IamashamedtorecollecttheconfusionIwasthrowninto;allyouradviceinmyheadatthemoment:yethiswordssoprohibitory.Heconfidentlyseemedtoenjoymyconfusion[indeed,mydear,heknowsnotwhatrespectfulloveis!]andgazeduponme,asifhewouldhavelookedmethrough.

Hewasstillmoredeclarativeafterwards,asIshallmentionby-and-by:butitwashalfextortedfromhim.

Myheartstruggledviolentlybetweenresentmentandshame,tobethusteasedbyonewhoseemedtohaveallhispassionsatcommand,atatimewhenIhadverylittleovermine!tillatlastIburstintotears,andwasgoingfromhiminhighdisgust:when,throwinghisarmsaboutme,

withanair,however,themosttenderlyrespectful,hegaveastupidturntothesubject.

Itwasfarfromhisheart,hesaid,totakesomuchadvantageofthestreight,whichthediscoveryofmybrother'sfoolishprojecthadbroughtmeinto,astorenew,withoutmypermission,aproposalwhichIhadhithertodiscountenanced,andwhichforthatreason--

Andthenhecamewithhishalf-sentences,apologizingforwhathehadnotsomuchashalf-proposed.

Surelyhehadnottheinsolencetointendtoteaseme,toseeifIcouldbebroughttospeakwhatbecamemenottospeak.Butwhetherhehador

not,itdidteaseme;insomuchthatmyveryheartwasfretted,andIbrokeout,atlast,intofreshtears,andadeclarationthatIwasveryunhappy.AndjustthenrecollectinghowlikeatamefoolIstoodwithhisarmsaboutme,Iflungfromhimwithindignation.Butheseizedmyhand,asIwasgoingoutoftheroom,anduponhiskneesbesoughtmystayforonemoment:andthen,inwordsthemostclearandexplicit,tenderedhimselftomyacceptance,asthemosteffectualmeanstodisappointmybrother'sscheme,andsetallright.

ButwhatcouldIsaytothis?--Extortedfromhim,asitseemedtome,



ratherastheeffectofhiscompassionthanhislove?WhatcouldIsay?Ipaused,Ilookedsilly--IamsureIlookedverysilly.Hesufferedmetopause,andlooksilly;waitingformetosaysomething:andatlast(ashamedofmyconfusion,andaimingtomakeanexcuseforit)ItoldhimthatIdesiredhewouldavoidsuchmeasuresasmightaddtotheuneasinesswhichitmustbevisibletohimIhad,whenhereflectedupontheirreconcilablenessofmyfriends,anduponwhatmightfollowfromthisunaccountableprojectofmybrother.

Hepromisedtobegovernedbymeineverything.Andagainthewretch,insteadofpressinghisformerquestion,askedme,IfIforgavehimforthehumblesuithehadmadetome?WhathadItodobuttotryforapalliationofmyconfusion,sinceitservedmenot?

ItoldhimIhadhopesitwouldnotbelongbeforeMr.Mordenarrived;anddoubtednotthatthatgentlemanwouldbethereadiertoengageinmyfavour,whenhefoundthatImadenootheruseofhis(Mr.Lovelace's)assistance,thantofreemyselffromtheaddressesofamansodisagreeabletomeasMr.Solmes:ImustthereforewishthateverythingmightremainasitwastillIcouldhearfrommycousin.

This,althoughteasedbyhimasIwas,wasnot,yousee,mydear,adenial.Buthemustthrowhimselfintoaheat,ratherthantrytopersuade;whichanyothermaninhissituation,Ishouldthink,would

havedone;andthiswarmthobligedmetoadheretomyseemingnegative.

Thiswaswhathesaid,withavehemencethatmusthardenanywoman'smind,whohadaspiritabovebeingfrightedintopassiveness--

GoodGod!andwillyou,Madam,stillresolvetoshowmethatIamtohopefornoshareinyourfavour,whileanytheremotestprospectremainsthatyouwillbereceivedbymybitterestenemies,atthepriceofmyutterrejection?

ThiswaswhatIreturned,withwarmth,andwithasalvingarttoo--Youshouldhaveseen,Mr.Lovelace,howmuchmybrother'sviolencecanaffectme:butyouwillbemistakenifyouletlooseyoursuponme,with

athoughtofterrifyingmeintomeasuresthecontraryofwhichyouhaveacquiescedwith.

Heonlybesoughtmetosufferhisfutureactionstospeakforhim;andifIsawhimworthyofanyfavour,thatIwouldnotlethimbetheonlypersonwithinmyknowledgewhowasnotentitledtomyconsideration.

Yourefertoafuturetime,Mr.Lovelace,sodoI,forthefutureproofofamerityouseemtothinkforthepasttimewanting:andjustlyyouthinkso.AndIwasagaingoingfromhim.

Onewordmorehebeggedmetohear--Hewasdeterminedstudiouslytoavoidallmischief,andeverystepthatmightleadtomischief,letmy

brother'sproceedings,shortofaviolenceuponmyperson,bewhattheywould:butifanyattemptthatshouldextendtothatweretobemade,wouldIhavehadhimtobeaquietspectatorofmybeingseized,orcarriedback,oronboard,bythisSingleton;or,incaseofextremity,washenotpermittedtostandupinmydefence?

Standupinmydefence,Mr.Lovelace!--Ishouldbeverymiserableweretheretobeacallforthat.ButdoyouthinkImightnotbesafeandprivateinLondon?Byyourfriend'sdescriptionofthewidow'shouse,IshouldthinkImightbesafethere.



Thewidow'shouse,hereplied,asdescribedbyhisfriend,beingabackhousewithinafrontone,andlookingtoagarden,ratherthantoastreet,hadtheappearanceofprivacy:butif,whenthere,itwasnotapproved,itwouldbeeasytofindanothermoretomyliking--though,astohispart,themethodhewouldadviseshouldbe,towritetomyuncleHarlowe,asoneofmytrustees,andwaittheissueofithereatMrs.Sorlings's,fearlesslydirectingittobeansweredhither.Tobeafraidoflittlespiritswasbuttoencourageinsults,hesaid.Thesubstanceofthelettershouldbe,'Todemandasaright,whattheywouldrefuseifrequestedasacourtesy:toacknowledgethatIhadputmyself[toowell,hesaid,didtheirtreatmentjustifyme]intotheprotectionoftheladiesofhisfamily[bywhoseorders,andLordM.'s,hehimselfwouldappeartoact]:butthatuponmyownterms,whichweresuch,thatIwasundernoobligationtothoseladiesforthefavour;itbeingnomorethantheywouldhavegrantedtoanyoneofmysex,equallydistressed.'IfIapprovednotofhismethod,happyshouldhethinkhimself,hesaid,ifIwouldhonourhimwiththeopportunityofmakingsuchaclaiminhisownname--butthiswasapoint[withhisbut'sagaininthesamebreath!]thathedurstbutjusttouchupon.Hehoped,however,thatIwouldthinktheirviolenceasufficientinducementformetotakesuchawished-forresolution.

Inwardlyvexed,Itoldhimthathehimselfhadproposedtoleavemewhen

Iwasintown;thatIexpectedhewould:andthat,whenIwasknowntobeabsolutelyindependent,Ishouldconsiderwhattowrite,andwhattodo:butthatwhilehewaswithme,Ineitherwouldnorcould.

Hewouldbeverysincerewithme,hesaid:thisprojectofmybrother'shadchangedthefaceofthings.Hemust,beforeheleftme,seewhetherIshouldorshouldnotapproveoftheLondonwidowandherfamily,ifIchosetogothither.Theymightbepeoplewhommybrothermightbuy.Butifhesawtheywerepersonsofintegrity,hethenmightgoforadayortwo,orso.Buthemustneedssay,hecouldnotleavemelongeratatime.

Doyoupropose,Sir,saidI,totakeupyourlodgingsinthehousewhere

Ishalllodge?

Hedidnot,hesaid,asheknewtheuseIintendedtomakeofhisabsence,andmypunctilio--andyetthehousewherehehadlodgingswasnew-fronting,andnotinconditiontoreceivehim:buthecouldgotohisfriendBelford's,inSoho;orperhapshemightreachtothesamegentleman'shouseatEdgware,overnight,andreturnonthemornings,tillhehadreasontothinkthiswildprojectofmybrother'slaidaside.Buttonogreaterdistancetillthenshouldhecaretoventure.

Theresultofallwas,tosetoutonMondaynextfortown.Ihopeitwillbeinahappyhour.

CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXLVI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,APRIL21.



[AsitwasnotprobablethattheLadycouldgivesoparticularanaccountofherownconfusion,intheaffectingsceneshementionsonMr.Lovelace'sofferinghimselftoheracceptance,thefollowingextractsaremadefromhisletteroftheabovedate.]

Andnow,Belford,whatwiltthousay,if,liketheflybuzzingaboutthebrighttaper,Ihadliketohavesingedthesilkenwingsofmyliberty?Neverwasmaningreaterdangerofbeingcaughtinhisownsnares:allmyviewsanticipated;allmyschemesuntried;theadmirablecreaturenobroughttotown;noroneeffortmadetoknowifshebereallyangelorwoman.

Iofferedmyselftoheracceptance,withasuddenness,'tistrue,thatgavehernotimetowrapherselfinreserves;andintermslesstenderthanfervent,tendingtoupbraidherforherpastindifference,andtoremindherofherinjunctions:foritwasthefearofherbrother,notherloveofme,thathadinclinedhertodispensewiththoseinjunctions.

Ineverbeheldsosweetaconfusion.Whataglorytothepencil,coulditdojusticetoit,andtothemingledimpatiencewhichvisiblyinformedeveryfeatureofthemostmeaningandmostbeautifulfaceintheworld!Shehemmedtwiceorthrice:herlook,nowsocharminglysilly,thensosweetlysignificant;tillatlastthelovelyteaser,

teasedbymyhesitatingexpectationofheranswer,outofallpowerofarticulatespeech,burstintotears,andwasturningfrommewithprecipitation,when,presumingtofoldherinmyhappyarms--Othinknot,bestbelovedofmyheart,saidI,thinknot,thatthismotion,whichyoumaybelievetobesocontrarytoyourformerinjunctions,proceedsfromadesigntoavailmyselfofthecrueltyofyourrelations:ifIhavedisobligedyoubyit,(andyouknowwithwhatrespectfultendernessIhavepresumedtohintit,)itshallbemyutmostcareforthefuture--ThereIstopped----

Thenshespoke,butwithvexation--Iam--Iam--veryunhappy--Tearstricklingdownhercrimsoncheeks,andhersweetface,asmyarmsstillencircledthefinestwaistintheworld,sinkinguponmyshoulder;the

dearcreaturesoabsent,thatsheknewnotthehonourshepermittedme.

Butwhy,butwhyunhappy,mydearestlife?saidI:--allthegratitudethateveroverflowedtheheartofthemostobligedofmen--

Justicetomyselftherestoppedmymouth:forwhatgratitudedidIoweherforobligationssoinvoluntary?

Thenrecoveringherself,andherusualreserves,andstrugglingtofreeherselffrommyclaspingarms,Hownow,Sir!saidshe,withacheekmoreindignantlyglowing,andeyesoffiercerlustre.

Igavewaytoherangrystruggle;but,absolutelyovercomebyso

charmingadisplayofinnocentconfusion,Icaughtholdofherhandasshewasflyingfromme,andkneelingatherfee,Omyangel,saidI,(quitedestituteofreserve,andhardlyknowingthetenorofmyownspeech;andhadaparsonbeenthere,Ihadcertainlybeenagoneman,)receivethevowsofyourfaithfulLovelace.Makehimyours,andonlyyours,forever.Thiswillanswereveryend.Whowilldaretoformplotsandstratagemsagainstmywife?Thatyouarenotsoisthegroundofalltheirfoolishattempts,andoftheirinsolenthopesinSolmes'sfavour.--Obemine!--Ibeseechyou(thusonmykneeIbeseechyou)tobemine.Weshallthenhavealltheworldwithus.Andeverybodywill



applaudaneventthateverybodyexpects.

Wasthedevilinme!Inomoreintendedallthisecstaticnonsense,thanIthoughtthesamemomentofflyingintheair!Allpoweriswiththischarmingcreature.ItisI,notshe,atthisrate,thatmustfailinthearduoustrial.

Didstthoueverbeforehearofamanutteringsolemnthingsbyaninvoluntaryimpulse,indefianceofpremeditation,andofallhisproudschemes?Butthissweetcreatureisabletomakeamanforegoeverypurposeofhisheartthatisnotfavourabletoher.AndIverilythinkIshouldbeinclinedtospareherallfurthertrial(andyetwhattrialhasshehad?)wereitnotforthecontentionthathervigilancehassetonfoot,whichshallovercometheother.ThouknowestmygenerositytomyuncontendingRosebud--andsometimesdoIqualifymyardentaspirationsaftereventhisveryfinecreature,bythisreflection:--Thatthemostcharmingwomanonearth,weresheanempress,canexcelthemeanestinthecustomaryvisiblesonly.Suchistheequalityofthedispensation,totheprinceandthepeasant,inthisprimegiftWOMAN.

Well,butwhatwastheresultofthisinvoluntaryimpulseonmypart?--Wouldstthounotthink;Iwastakenatmyoffer?--Anoffersosolemnlymade,andononekneetoo?

Nosuchthing!TheprettytriflerletmeoffaseasilyasIcouldhavewished.

Herbrother'sproject;andtofindthattherewerenohopesofareconciliationforher;andtheapprehensionshehadofthemischiefsthatmightensue;these,notmyoffer,norloveofme,werethecausestowhichsheascribedallhersweetconfusion--anascriptionthatishightreasonagainstmysovereignpride,--tomakemarriagewithmebutasecond-placerefuge;andasgoodastotellmethatherconfusionwasowingtoherconcernthattherewerenohopesthatmyenemieswouldacceptofherintendedoffertorenounceamanwhohadventuredhislifeforher,andwasstillreadytorunthesamerisqueinherbehalf!

Ire-urgedhertomakemehappy,butIwastobepostponedtohercousinMorden'sarrival.Onhimarenowplacedallherhopes.

Iraved;buttonopurpose.

Anotherletterwastobesent,orhadbeensent,toherauntHervey,towhichshehopedananswer.

YetsometimesIthinkthatfainterandfainterwouldhavebeenherprocrastinations,hadIbeenamanofcourage--butsofearfulwasIofoffending!

Aconfoundedthing!Themantobesobashful;thewomantowantsomuchcourting!--Howshalltwosuchcometogether--nokindmediatressintheway?

ButImustbecontented.'Tisseldom,however,thatalovesoardentasmine,meetswithaspiritsoresignedinthesameperson.Buttruelove,Iamnowconvinced,onlywishes:norhasitanyactivewillbutthatoftheadoredobject.

But,Othecharmingcreature,againofherselftomentionLondon!Had



Singleton'splotbeenofmyowncontriving,amorehappyexpedientcouldnothavebeenthoughtoftoinducehertoresumeherpurposeofgoingthither;norcanIdivinewhatcouldbeherreasonforpostponingit.

IenclosetheletterfromJosephLeman,whichImentionedtotheeinmineofMondaylast,*withmyanswertoit.Icannotresistthevanitythaturgesmetothecommunication.Otherwise,itwerebetter,perhaps,thatIsuffertheetoimaginethatthislady'sstarsfightagainsther,anddispensetheopportunitiesinmyfavour,whichareonlytheconsequencesofmyowninvention.

LETTERXLVII

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.HISHONNERSAT.APRIL15.

MAYITPLEASEYOURHONNER,

ThisistoletyouHonnerkno',ashowIhavebeenemploiedinabisnessIwouldhavebeenexcusedfrom,ifsobeIcould,foritistogittevidensefromayoungman,whohasoflatecom'douttobemycuzzen

bymygrandmother'sside;andbutlatelycometoliveinthesepartes,aboutaveryvilething,asyoungemastercallsit,relatingtoyourHonner.GodforbidIshouldcallitsowithoutyourleafe.ItisnotforsoplaneamanasIbe,totacksmybetters.ItisconsarningoneMissBatirton,ofNotingam;averyprettycrature,belike.

YourHonnergotheraway,itseems,byafalselettertoher,mackingbelieveashowhershe-cuzzen,thatshederelyloved,wascomingtoseeher;andwastackenillupontherode:andsoMissBatirtonsetoutinashase,andonesarvant,tofethercuzzenfromtheinnewhereshelaidsick,asshethote:andthesarvantwastricked,andbrautebacktheshase;butMissBatirtonwasnothardeofforamonth,orso.Andwhenitcametopasse,thatherfrendsfoundeheroutandwouldhave

prossekutidyourHonner,yourHonnerwasgoneabroad:andsoshewasbroutetobed,asonemaysay,beforeyourHonner'sreturn:andshegotcoldeinherlyin-inn,andlanquitched,andsoondied:andthechildisliving;butyourHonnernevertroublesyourHonner'sheddaboutitintheleast.Andthis,andsomeothermatters,ofverrybadreporte,'SquierSolmeswastotellmyyoungladyof,ifsobeshewouldhavehardehimspeke,beforewelosthersweetcompany,asImaysay,fromheere.*

*SeeVol.II.LettersXV.andXVI.

YourHonnerhelpedmetomanyuglystoriestotellagainstyouHonnertomyyoungemaster,andyoungemistriss;butdidnottellmeaboutthis.

ImosthumbellybesecheyourHonnertobegoodandkindeandfethfultomydeerestyoungelady,nowyouhaveher;orIshallbrakemyharteforhavingdonesomededesthathavehelpedtobringethingstothispasse.Prayyouredere,goodHonner,bejust!Prayeydo!--AsGodshallloveye!prayeydo!--Icannotwritenomoreforthispressent,forverryfearandgrief--



ButnowIamcumm'dtomywritingagen,willyourHonnerbepleasedtotellme,ifashowtherebeanydangertoyourHonner'slifefromthisbisness;formycuzzenisactilehier'dtogodowntoMissBatirton'sfrendestoseeiftheywillstirinit:foryoumustkno'yourHonner,ashowhelivedintheBatirtonfamilyatthetime,andcouldbeagoodevidense,andallthat.

IhopeitwasnotsoverrybadasTitussaysitwas;forhesesashowtherewasarapeinthecasebetwixtyouatfurste,andpleseyourHonner;andmycuzzenTitusisaveryhonistyoungemanaseverbrockebred.Thisishiscarackter;andthismademewillingertoownehimformyrelation,whenwecametotalck.

IfthereshouldbedangerofyourHonner'slife,IhopeyourHonnerwillnotbehangedlikeasoneofuscommonmen;onlyhaveyourheddcutoff,orso:andyetitispitsuchaheddshouldbelossed:butifashowitshouldbeprossekutidtothatfurr,whichGodforbid,beplesednathelesstothinckofyourefethfulJosephLeman,beforeyourheddbecondemned;foraftercondemnation,asIhavebeentold,allwillbetheking'sortheshreeve's.

IthoteashowitwasbesttoacquentyouHonnerofthis;andforyoutoletmekno'ifIcoulddoanythinktosarveyourHonner,andpreventmischiefwithmycuzzenTitus,onhiscomingbackfromNottingam,before

hemackeshisreporte.

Ihaveginhimahintalready:forwhat,asIsedtohim,cuzzenTitus,signifiesstirringupthecolesandmackingofstrife,tomakerichgentilfolkesliveatvarience,andtobecuttingofthrotes,andsuch-like?

Verytrewe,sedlittleTitus.Andthis,andpleseyourHonner,gismehopesofhim,ifsobeyourHonnergismedirection;sen',asGodkno'es,Ihaveapoor,averrypoorinvenshon;onlyawillingmindtopreventmischief,thatisthechiefofmyaim,andalwayswas,IblessmyGod!--ElsIcouldhavemademuchmischiefinmytime;asindeedanysarvantmay.YourHonnernathalesspraisesmyinvenshonevery

now-and-then:Alas!andpleseyourHonner,whatinvenshonshouldsuchaplanemanasIhave?--ButwhenyourHonnersetsmeagoingbyyourfineinvenshon,Icandowellenuff.AndIamsureIhaveaheartygoodwilltodeserveyourHonner'sfaver,ifImought.

Twodays,asImaysay,offandon,haveIbeenwritingthislongletter.AndyetIhavenotsedallIwouldsay.For,beitknoneuntoyourHonner,ashowIdonotlikethatCaptainSingleton,whichItoldyouofinmylasttwoletters.Heisalwayslayinghisheddandmyyoungmaster'sheddtogether;andIsuspectmuchifsobesomemischiefisnotgoingonbetweenthem:andstillthemore,asbecausemyeldestyoungeladyseemestobejoinedtothemsometimes.

Lastweekmyyoungemastersedbeforemyfase,Myharte'sbloodboilsover,CaptenSingleton,forrevengeuponthis--andhecalledyourHonnerbyanameitisnotforsuchawonasmetosaywhat.--CaptenSingletonwhispredmyyoungemaster,beingIwasby.Soyoungmastersed,YoumaysayanythingbeforeJoseph;for,althoffhelookssoseelie,hehasasgoodaharte,andasgoodahedd,asanysarvanteintheworldneedtohave.Myconsciencetouchedmejustthen.Butwhyshouldeit?whenallIdoistopreventmischeff;andseeingyourHonnerhassomuchpatience,whichyoungemasterhasnot;soamnotaffeardoftellingyourHonneranythingwhatsomever.



Andfurthermore,IhavesuchadesiretodesarveyourHonner'sbountytome,asmackesmeletnothingpassIcantellyouof,topreventharm:andtoo,besides,yourHonner'sgoodnessabouttheBlewBore;whichIhavesogoodanaccounteof!--IamsureIshallbeboundentoblessyourHonnerthelongestdayIhavetolive.

AndthentheBlewBoreisnotallneither:sen',andpleaseyourHonner,theprettySowe(Godforgivemeforgestinginsoserusamatter)runsinmyheddlikewise.IbelieveIshalllovehermayhapmorethanyourHonnerwouldhaveme;forshebeginstobekindandgood-humered,andlistens,andpleseyourHonour,lickeasifshewasamongbeans,whenItalkeabouttheBlewBore,andallthat.

Prayey,yourHonner,forgivethegestingofapoorplaneman.Wecommonfokeshaveourjoys,andpleseyourHonner,lickasourbettershave;andifwebesometimessnubbed,wecanfindourunderlingstosnubthemagen;andifnot,wecangetawifemayhap,andsnubher:soaremasterssomehoworotheroursells.

ButhowItryyourHonner'spatience!--Sarvantswillshewtheirjoyfulhartes,tho'offbutinpartinens,whenencourag'd.

Beplesedfromtheprems'stoletmekno'ifashowIcanbeputupon

anysarvicetosarveyourHonner,andtosarvemydeerestyoungelady;whichGodgrant!forIbegintobeaffeardeforher,hearingwhatpepletalck--tobesureyourHonnerwillnotdohernoharme,asamanmaysay.ButIkno'yourHonnermustbegoodtosowonderousayoungelady.Howcanyouhelpit?--Butheremyconsciencesmitesme,that,butforsomeofmystories,whichyourHonnertauteme,myoldmaster,andmyoldlady,andthetwoold'squires,wouldnothavebeenabletobehalfsohardheartedastheybe,forallmyyoungemasterandyoungemistresssayes.

Andhereisthesadthing;theycannotcometoclereupmatterswithmydeerestyounglady,because,asyourHonnerhasorderedit,theyhavethesestoriesasifbribedbymeoutofyourHonner'ssarvant;which

mustnotbeknownforfereyoushouldkill'nandmetoo,andblackenthebriber!--Ah!yourHonner!IdoubteasthaIamaveryvildfellow,(Lordblessmysoil,IprayGod!)anddidnotintendit.

Butifmydeerestyoungeladyshouldcometoharm,andpleseyourHonner,thehorsepondattheBlewBore--butLordpreserveusallfromallbadmischeff,andallbadendes,IpraytheLord!--Fortho'ffyouHonneriskindetomeinworldlypelf,yetwhatshallamangettolooshissoul,asholySkrittuersays,andpleseyourHonner?

ButnathelessIaminhopeofreppentencehereafter,beingbutayoungeman,ifIdowrongthro'ignorens:yourHonnerbeingagrateman,andagravewit;andIapoorcrature,notworthynotice;andyourHonnerable

toanswerforall.But,howsomever,Iam

YourHonner'sfethefulsarvantinalldewtie,JOSEPHLEMAN.

APRIL15AND16.

LETTERXLVIII



MR.LOVELACE,TOJOSEPHLEMANMONDAY,APRIL17.

HONESTJOSEPH,

Youhaveaworseopinionofyourinventionthanyououghttohave.Imustpraiseitagain.Ofaplainman'shead,Ihavenotknownmanybetterthanyours.HowoftenhaveyourforecastanddiscretionansweredmywishesincaseswhichIcouldnotforesee,notknowinghowmygeneraldirectionswouldsucceed,orwhatmighthappenintheexecutionofthem!Youaretoodoubtfulofyourownabilities,honestJoseph;that'syourfault.--Butitbeingafaultthatisowingtonaturalmodesty,yououghtrathertobepitiedforitthanblamed.

TheaffairofMissBettertonwasayouthfulfrolic.Ilovedearlytoexercisemyinvention.Idoassureyou,Joseph,thatIhaveeverhadmorepleasureinmycontrivances,thanintheendofthem.Iamnosensualman:butamanofspirit--onewomanislikeanother--youunderstandme,Joseph.--Incoursing,allthesportismadebythewindinghare--abarn-doorchickisbettereating--nowyoutakeme,Joseph.

MissBettertonwasbutatradesman'sdaughter.Thefamily,indeed,was

grownrich,andaimedatanewlineofgentry;andwereunreasonableenoughtoexpectamanofmyfamilywouldmarryher.Iwashonest.Igavetheyoungladynohopeofthat;forsheputittome.Sheresented--keptup,andwaskeptup.Alittleinnocentcontrivancewasnecessarytogetherout.Butnorapeinthecase,Iassureyou,Joseph.Shelovedme--Ilovedher.Indeed,whenIgothertotheinn,Iaskedhernoquestion.Itiscrueltoaskamodestwomanforherconsent.Itiscreatingdifficultiestoboth.Hadnotherfriendsbeenofficious,Ihadbeenconstantandfaithfultohertothisday,asfarasIknow--forthenIhadnotknownmyangel.

Iwentnotabroaduponheraccount.Shelovedmetoowelltohaveappearedagainstme;sherefusedtosignapapertheyhaddrawnupfor

her,tofoundaprosecutionupon;andthebrutalcreatureswouldnotpermitthemid-wife'sassistance,tillherlifewasindanger;and,Ibelieve,tothisherdeathwasowing.

Iwentintomourningforher,thoughabroadatthetime.AdistinctionIhaveeverpaidtothoseworthycreatureswhodiesinchildbedbyme.

Iwaseverniceinmyloves.--TheseweretherulesIlaiddowntomyselfonmyentranceintoactivelife:--Tosetthemotherabovewant,ifherfriendswerecruel,andifIcouldnotgetherahusbandworthyofher:toshuncommonwomen--apieceofjusticeIowedtoinnocentladies,aswellastomyself:tomarryoffaformermistress,ifpossible,beforeItooktoanewone:tomaintainaladyhandsomelyinherlying-in:to

provideforthelittle-one,ifitlived,accordingtothedegreeofitsmother:togointomourningforthemother,ifshedied.Andthepromiseofthiswasagreatcomforttotheprettydears,astheygrewneartheirtimes.

Allmyerrors,allmyexpenses,havebeenwithanduponwomen.SoIcouldacquitmyconscience(actingthushonourablybythem)aswellasmydiscretionastopointoffortune.

Allmenlovewomen--andfindmeamanofmorehonour,inthesepoints,



ifyoucan,Joseph.

Nowonderthesexlovemeastheydo!

ButnowIamstrictlyvirtuous.Iamreformed.SoIhavebeenforalongtime,resolvingtomarryassoonasIcanprevailuponthemostadmirableofwomentohaveme.Ithinkofnobodyelse--itisimpossibleIshould.Ihavesparedveryprettygirlsforhersake.Verytrue,Joseph!Sosetyourhonestheartatrest--YouseethepainsItaketosatisfyyourqualms.

But,astoMissBetterton--norapeinthecase,Irepeat:rapesareunnaturalthings,andmorearethanareimagined,Joseph.Ishouldbelothtobeputtosuchastreight;Ineverwas.MissBettertonwastakenfrommeagainstherownwill.Inthatcaseherfriends,notI,committedtherape.

Ihavecontrivedtoseetheboytwice,unknowntotheauntwhotakescareofhim;loveshim;andwouldnotnowpartwithhimonanyconsideration.TheboyisafineboyIthankGod.Nofatherneedbeashamedofhim.Hewillbewellprovidedfor.Ifnot,Iwouldtakecareofhim.Hewillhavehismother'sfortune.Theycursethefather,ungratefulwretches!butblesstheboy--Uponthewhole,thereisnothingvileinthismatteronmyside--agreatdealontheBettertons.

Wherefore,Joseph,benotthouinpain,eitherformyhead,orforthyownneck;norfortheBlueBoar;norfortheprettySow.

Iloveyourjesting.Jestingbetterbecomesapoormanthanqualms.Ilovetohaveyoujest.Allwesay,allwedo,allwewishfor,isajest.Hethatmakeslifeitselfnotsoisasadfellow,andhastheworstofit.

Idoubtnot,Joseph,butyouhavehadyourjoys,asyousay,aswellasyourbetters.Mayyouhavemoreandmore,honestJoseph!--Hethatgrudgesapoormanjoy,oughttohavenonehimself.Jeston,therefore.--Jesting,Irepeat,betterbecomestheethanqualms.

IhadnoneedtotellyouofMissBetterton.DidInotfurnishyouwithstoriesenough,withouthers,againstmyself,toaugmentyourcreditwithyourcunningmasters?Besides,IwaslothtomentionMissBetterton,herfriendsbeingallliving,andincredit.Ilovedhertoo--forshewastakenfrommebyhercruelfriends,whileourjoyswereyoung.

ButenoughofdearMissBetterton.--Dear,Isay;fordeathendears.--Resttoherworthysoul!--There,Joseph,offwentadeepsightothememoryofMissBetterton!

AstothejourneyoflittleTitus,(Inowrecollectthefellowbyhis

name)letthattakeitscourse:aladydyinginchildbedeighteenmonthsago;noprocessbeguninherlife-time;refusingherselftogiveevidenceagainstmewhileshelived--prettycircumstancestofoundanindictmentforarapeupon!

Astoyouryounglady,theever-admirableMissClarissaHarlowe,Ialwayscourtedherforawife.Othersratherexpectedmarriagefromthevanityoftheirownhearts,thanfrommypromises;forIwasalwayscarefulofwhatIpromised.Youknow,Joseph,thatIhavegonebeyondmypromisestoyou.Idotoeverybody;andwhy?becauseitisthebest



wayofshowingthatIhavenogrudgingornarrowspirit.Apromiseisanobligation.Ajustmanwillkeephispromise,agenerousmanwillgobeyondit.--Thisismyrule.

Ifyoudoubtmyhonourtoyouryounglady,itismorethanshedoes.Shewouldnotstaywithmeanhourifshedid.Mineisthesteadiestheartintheworld.Hastthounotreasontothinkitso?Whythissqueamishnessthen,honestJoseph?

Butitisbecausethouarthonest--soIforgivethee.WhoeverlovesmydivineClarissa,lovesme.

LetJamesHarlowecallmewhatnameshewill,forhissister'ssakeIwillbearthem.Donotbeconcernedforme;herfavourwillmakemerichamends;hisownvilelymaliciousheartwillmakehisbloodboiloveratanytime;andwhenitdoes,thinkestthouthatIwillletittouchthine?Ah!Joseph,Joseph!whatafoolishteaseristhyconscience!Suchaconscienceasgivesaplainmantrouble,whenheintendstodoforthebest,isweakness,notconscience.

Butsaywhatthouwilt,writeallthouknowestorhearestoftome,I'llhavepatiencewitheverybody.WhyshouldInot,whenitisasmuchthedesireofmyheart,asitisofthine,topreventmischief?

Sonow,Joseph,havingtakenallthispainstosatisfythyconscience,andanswerallthydoubts,andtobanishallthyfears,letmecometoanewpoint.

Yourendeavoursandmine,whichweredesigned,byround-aboutways,toreconcileall,evenagainstthewillsofthemostobstinate,havenot,weseeansweredtheendwehopedtheywouldanswer;but,onthecontrary,havewidenedthedifferencesbetweenourfamilies.Butthishasnotbeeneitheryourfaultormine:itisowingtotheblack,pitch-likebloodofyourvenomous-heartedyoungmaster,boilingover,asheowns,thatourhonestwisheshavehithertobeenfrustrated.

Yetwemustproceedinthesamecourse.Weshalltirethemoutintime,

andtheywillproposeterms;andwhentheydo,theyshallfindouthowreasonablemineshallbe,littleastheydeservefromme.

Persevere,therefore,Joseph,honestJoseph,persevere;andunlikelyasyoumayimaginethemeans,ourdesireswillatlastbeobtained.

Wehavenothingforitnow,buttogothroughwithourworkinthewaywehavebegun.Forsince(asItoldyouinmylast)mybelovedmistrustsyou,shewillblowyouup,ifshebenotmine;ifshebe,Ican,andwill,protectyou;andas,iftherewillbeanyfault,inheropinion,itwillberatherminethanyours,shemustforgiveyou,andkeepherhusband'ssecrets,forthesakeofhisreputation;elseshewillbeguiltyofagreatfailureinherduty.Sonowyouhavesetyourhandto

theplough,Joseph,thereisnolookingback.

Andwhatistheconsequenceofallthis:onelabourmore,andthatwillbeallthatwillfalltoyourlot;atleast,ofconsequence.

Mybelovedisresolvednottothinkofmarriagetillshehastriedtomoveherfriendstoareconciliationwithher.Youknowtheyaredeterminednottobereconciled.Shehasitinherhead,Idoubtnot,tomakemesubmittothepeopleIhate;andifIdid,theywouldratherinsultme,thanreceivemycondescensionastheyought.Sheevenowns,



thatshewillrenounceme,iftheyinsistuponit,providedtheywillgiveupSolmes:so,toallappearance,Iamstillasfaraseverfromthehappinessofcallinghermine;IndeedIammorelikelythanevertoloseher,(ifIcannotcontrivesomewaytoavailmyselfofthepresentcriticalsituation;)andthen,Joseph,allIhavebeenstudying,andallyouhavebeendoing,willsignifynothing.

Attheplacewhereweare,wecannotlongbeprivate.Thelodgingsareinconvenientforus,whilebothtogether,andwhilesherefusestomarry.Shewantstogetmeatadistancefromher;thereareextraordinaryconvenientlodgings,inmyeye,inLondon,wherewecouldbeprivate,andallmischiefavoided.Whenthere,(ifIgetherthither,)shewillinsistthatIleaveher.MissHoweisforeverputtingheruponcontrivances.That,youknow,isthereasonIhavebeenobliged,byyourmeans,toplaythefamilyoffatHarlowe-placeuponMrs.Howe,andMrs.Howeuponherdaughter--Ah,Joseph!Littleneedforyourfearsformyangel!Ionlyamindanger:butwereIthefree-liverIamreportedtobe,allthiscouldIgetoverwithawetfinger,asthesayingis.

But,bythehelpofoneofyourhints,Ihavethoughtofanexpedientwhichwilldoeverthing,andraiseyourreputation,thoughalreadysohigh,higherstill.ThisSingleton,Ihear,isafellowwholovesenterprising:theviewhehastogetJamesHarlowetobehisprincipal

ownerinalargevesselwhichhewantstobeputintothecommandof,maybethesubjectoftheirpresentcloseconversation.Butsinceheistaughttohavesogoodanopinionofyou,Joseph,cannotyou(stillpretendinganabhorrenceofme,andofmycontrivances)proposetoSingletontoproposetoJamesHarlowe(whosomuchthirstsforrevengeuponme)toassisthim,withhiswholeship'screw,uponoccasion,tocarryoffhissistertoLeith,wherebothhavehouses,orelsewhere?

Youmaytellthem,thatifthiscanbeeffected,itwillmakemeravingmad;andbringyouryoungladyintoalltheirmeasures.

Youcaninformthem,asfrommyservant,ofthedistanceshekeepsmeat,inhopesofprocuringherfather'sforgiveness,bycruellygivingme

up,ifinsistedupon.

Youcantellthem,thatastheonlysecretmyservanthaskeptfromyouistheplacewearein,youmakenodoubt,thatatwo-guineabribewillbringthatout,andalsoaninformationwhenIshallbeatadistancefromher,thattheenterprisemaybeconductedwithsafety.

Youmaytellthem,(stillasfrommyservant,)thatweareabouttoremovefrominconvenientlodgingstoothersmoreconvenient,(whichistrue,)andthatImustbeoftenabsentfromher.

Iftheylistentoyourproposal,youwillpromoteyourinterestwithBetty,bytellingittoherasasecret.BettywilltellArabellaof

it;Arabellawillbeoverjoyedatanythingthatwillhelpforwardherrevengeuponme;andwillrevealit(ifherbrotherdonot)toheruncleAntony;heprobablywillwhisperittoMrs.Howe;shecankeepnothingfromherdaughter,thoughtheyarealwaysjangling.Herdaughterwillacquaintmybelovedwithit.Andifitwillnot,orifitwill,cometomyearsfromsomeofthose,youcanwriteittome,asinconfidence,bywayofpreventingmsicheif;whichisthestudyofusboth.

Icanthenshowittomybeloved;thenwillshebeforplacingagreaterconfidenceinme--thatwillconvincemeofherlove,whichIamnow



sometimesreadytodoubt.Shewillbeforhasteningtothesaferlodgings.Ishallhaveapretencetostayaboutherperson,asaguard.Shewillbeconvincedthatthereisnoexpectationtobehadofareconciliation.YoucangiveJamesHarloweandSingletoncontinualfalsescents,asIshalldirectyou;sothatnomischiefcanpossiblyhappen.

Andwhatwillbethehappy,happy,thricehappyconsequence?--Theladywillbemineinanhonourableway,weshallallbefriendsingoodtime.ThetwoguineaswillbeanagreeableadditiontothemanygratuitiesIhavehelpedyouto,bythelikecontrivances,fromthisstingyfamily.Yourreputation,bothforheadandheart,asIhintedbefore,willbeheightened.TheBlueBoaralsowillbeyours;norshallyouhavetheleastdifficultyaboutraisingmoneytobuythestock,ifitbeworthyourwhiletohaveit.

Bettywilllikewisethenbeyours.Youhavebothsavedmoney,itseems.ThewholeHarlowefamily,whomyouhavesofaithfullyserved,['tisservingthem,surely,topreventthemischiefwhichtheirviolentsonwouldhavebroughtuponthem,]willthrowyouinsomewhattowardshousekeeping.Iwillstilladdtoyourstore--sonothingbuthappinessbeforeyou!

Crow,Joseph,crow!--adunghillofthyowninview;servantstosnubatthypleasure;awifetoquarrelwith,ortolove,asthyhumourleads

thee;LandlordandLandladyateveryword;tobepaid,insteadofpaying,forthyeatinganddrinking.Butnotthushappyonlyinthyself:happyinpromotingpeaceandreconciliationbetweentwogoodfamilies,inthelongrun,withouthurtinganychristiansoul.OJoseph,honestJoseph!whatenvywiltthouraise,andwhowouldbesqueamishwithsuchprospectsbeforehim.

Thisonelabour,Irepeat,crownsthework.Ifyoucangetbutsuchadesignentertainedbythem,whethertheyprosecuteitornot,itwillbeequallytothepurposeof

Yourlovingfriend,R.LOVELACE.

LETTERXLIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMRS.HERVEY[ENCLOSEDINHERLASTTOMISSHOWE.]THURSDAY,APRIL20.

HONOUREDMADAM,

HavingnothadthefavourofananswertoaletterItookthelibertytowritetoyouonthe14th,Iaminsomehopesthatitmayhave

miscarried:forIhadmuchratheritshould,thantohavethemortificationtothinkthatmyauntHerveydeemedmeunworthyofthehonourofhernotice.

Inthishope,havingkeptacopyofit,andnotbecomeabletoexpressmyselfintermsbettersuitedtotheunhappycircumstancesofthings,ItranscribeandenclosewhatIthenwrote.*AndIhumblybeseechyoutofavourthecontentsofitwithyourinterest.



*ThecontentsoftheLetterreferredtoaregiveninLetterXXIV.ofthisvolume.

HithertoitisinmypowertoperformwhatIundertakeforinthisletter;anditwouldbeverygrievoustometobeprecipitateduponmeasures,whichmayrenderthedesirablereconciliationmoredifficult.

If,Madam,Iwerepermittedtowritetoyouwiththehopesofbeinganswered,IcouldclearmyintentionwithregardtothestepIhavetaken,althoughIcouldnotperhapsacquitmyselftosomeofmyseverestjudges,ofanimprudenceprevioustoit.You,Iamsure,wouldpityme,ifyouknewallIcouldsay,andhowmiserableIamintheforfeitureofthegoodopinionofallmyfriends.

Iflattermyself,thattheirfavourisyetretrievable:but,whateverbethedeterminationatHarlowe-place,donotyou,mydearestAunt,denymethefavourofafewlinestoinformmeiftherecanbeanyhopeofareconciliationupontermslessshockingthanthoseheretoforeendeavouredtobeimposeduponme;orif(whichGodforbid!)Iamtobeforeverreprobated.

Atleast,mydearAunt,procureformethejusticeofmywearingapparel,andthelittlemoneyandotherthingswhichIwrotetomy

sisterfor,andmentionintheenclosedtoyou;thatImaynotbedestituteofcommonconveniencies,orbeunderanecessitytooweanobligationforsuch,where,atpresent,however,Iwouldleastofalloweit.

Allowmetosay,thathadIdesignedwhathappened,Imight(astothemoneyandjewelsatleast)havesavedmyselfsomeofthemortificationwhichIhavesuffered,andwhichIstillfurtherapprehend,ifmyrequestbenotcompliedwith.

IfyouarepermittedtoencourageaneclaircissmentofwhatIhint,Iwillopenmywholehearttoyou,andinformyouofeverything.

Ifitbeanypleasuretohavememortified,bepleasedtoletitbeknown,thatIamextremelymortified.AndyetitisentirelyfrommyownreflectionsthatIamso,havingnothingtofindfaultwithinthebehaviourofthepersonfromwhomeveryevilwastobeapprehended.

Thebearer,havingbusinessyourway,willbringmeyouransweronSaturdaymorning,ifyoufavourmeaccordingtomyhopes.IknewnotthatIshouldhavethisopportunitytillIhadwrittentheabove.

Iam,mydearestAunt,Youreverdutiful,CL.HARLOWE.

Bepleasedtodirectforme,ifIamtobefavouredwithafewlines,tobeleftatMr.Osgood's,nearSoho-square;andnobodyshalleverknowof

yourgoodnesstome,ifyoudesireittobekeptasecret.

LETTERL

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESATURDAY,APRIL22.



Icannotformylifeaccountforyourwretch'steasingways;buthecertainlydoubtsyourloveofhim.Inthisheisamodestman,aswellassomebodyelse;andtacitlyconfessesthathedoesnotdeserveit.

YourIsraelitishhankeringsaftertheEgyptianonion,(testifiedstillmoreinyourlettertoyouraunt,)youroftenrepeatedregretsformeetinghim,forbeingbetrayedbyhim--thesehecannotbear.

Ihavebeenlookingbackonthewholeofhisconduct,andcomparingitwithhisgeneralcharacter;andfindthatheismoreconsistently,moreuniformly,mean,revengeful,andproud,thaneitherofusonceimagined.

Fromhiscradle,asImaysay,asanonlychild,andaboy,humoursome,spoiled,mischievous;thegovernorofhisgovernors.

Alibertineinhisriperyears,hardlyregardfulofappearances;anddespisingthesexingeneral,forthefaultsofparticularsofit,whomadethemselvestoocheaptohim.

Whathasbeenhisbehaviourinyourfamily?--aCLARISSAinview,(fromthetimeyourfoolishbrotherwasobligedtotakealifefromhim,)butdefiancefordefiances.Gettingyouintohispowerbyterror,byartifice.Whatpolitenesscanbeexpectedfromsuchaman?

Well,butwhatinsuchasituationistobedone?Why,youmustdespisehim:youmusthatehim,ifyoucan,andrunawayfromhim--Butwhither?--Whitherindeed,nowthatyourbrotherislayingfoolishplotstoputyouinastillworsecondition,asitmayhappen.

Butifyoucannotdespiseandhatehim--ifyoucarenottobreakwithhim,youmustpartwithsomepunctilio's.Andifthesodoingbringnotonthesolemnity,youmustputyourselfintotheprotectionoftheladiesofhisfamily.

Theirrespectforyouisofitselfasecurityforhishonourtoyou,iftherecouldbeanyroomfordoubt.Andatleast,youshouldremindhimofhisoffertobringoneoftheMissMontaguestoattendyouatyour

newlodgingsintown,andaccompanyyoutillallishappilyover.

This,you'llsay,willbeasgoodasdeclaringyourselftobehis.Andsoletit.Yououghtnotnowtothinkofanythingelsebuttobehis.Doesnotyourbrother'sprojectconvinceyoumoreandmoreofthis?

Giveoverthen,mydearestfriend,anythoughtsofthishopelessreconciliation,whichhaskeptyoubalancingthuslong.Youown,intheletterbeforeme,thathemadeveryexplicitoffers,thoughyougivemenottheverywords.Andhegavehisreasons,Iperceive,withhiswishesthatyoushouldacceptthem;whichveryfewofthesorryfellowsdo,whosepleaisgenerallybutacomplimenttoourself-love--Thatwemustlovethem,howeverpresumptuousandunworthy,becausetheyloveus.

WereIinyourplace,andhadyourcharmingdelicacies,Ishould,perhaps,doasyoudo.NodoubtbutIshouldexpectthatthemanshouldurgemewithrespectfulwarmth;thatheshouldsupplicatewithconstancy,andthatallhiswordsandactionsshouldtendtotheoneprincipalpoint;nevertheless,ifIsuspectedartordelay,foundeduponhisdoubtsofmylove,Iwouldeithercondescendtoclearupisdoubtsorrenouncehimforever.

Andinmylastcase,I,yourAnnaHowe,wouldexertmyself,andeither



findyouaprivaterefuge,orresolvetosharefortuneswithyou.

Whatawretch!tobesoeasilyansweredbyyourreferencetothearrivalofyourcousinMorden!ButIamafraidthatyouwastooscrupulous:fordidhenotresentthatreference?

Couldwehavehisaccountofthematter,Ifancy,mydear,Ishouldthinkyouovernice,overdelicate.*Hadyoulaidholdofhisacknowledgedexplicitness,hewouldhavebeenasmuchinyourpower,asnowyouseemtobeinhis:youwantednottobetold,thatthepersonwhohadbeentrickedintosuchastepasyouhadtaken,mustofnecessitysubmittomanymortifications.

*Thereaderwhohasseenhisaccount,whichMissHowecouldnothaveseen,whenshewrotethus,willobservethatitwasnotpossibleforapersonofhertruedelicacyofmindtoactotherwisethanshedid,toamansocruellyandsoinsolentlyartful.

Butwereittome,agirlofspiritasIamthoughttobe,Idoassureyou,Iwould,inaquarterofanhour(allthetimeIwouldallowtopunctilioinsuchacaseasyours)knowwhathedrivesat:sinceeitherhemustmeanwellorill;ifill,thesooneryouknowit,thebetter.If

well,whosemodestyisithedistresses,butthatofhisownwife?

Andmethinksyoushouldendeavourtoavoidallexasperatingrecriminations,astowhatyouhaveheardofhisfailureinmorals;especiallywhileyouaresohappyasnottohaveoccasiontospeakofthembyexperience.

Igrantthatitgivesaworthymindsomesatisfactioninhavingborneitstestimonyagainsttheimmoralitiesofabadone.Butthatcorrectionwhichisunseasonablygiven,ismorelikelyeithertohardenormakeanhypocrite,thantoreclaim.

Iampleased,however,aswellasyou,withhismakinglightofyour

brother'swiseproject.--Poorcreature!andmustMasterJemmyHarlowe,withhishalf-wit,pretendtoplot,andcontrivemischief,yetrailatLovelaceforthesamethings?--Awittyvillaindeserveshangingatonce(andwithoutceremony,ifyouplease):butahalf-wittedonedeservesbrokenbonesfirst,andhangingafterwards.IthinkLovelacehasgivenhischaracterinafewwords.*

*SeeLetterXLV.ofthisvolume.

Beangryatme,ifyouplease;butassureasyouarealive,nowthatthispoorcreature,whomsomecallyourbrother,findshehassucceeded

inmakingyouflyyourfather'shouse,andthathehasnothingtofearbutyourgettingintoyourown,andintoanindependenceofhim,hethinkshimselfequaltoanything,andsohehasamindtofightLovelacewithhisownweapons.

Don'tyourememberhispragmaticaltriumph,astoldyoubyyouraunt,andpridedinbythatsaucyBettyBarnes,fromhisownfoolishmouth?*

*SeeVol.II.LetterXLVII.



Iexpectnothingfromyourlettertoyouraunt.IhopeLovelacewillneverknowthecontentsofit.Ineveryoneofyours,Iseethatheaswarmlyresentsashedaresthelittleconfidenceyouhaveinhim.Ishouldresentittoo,wereIhe;andknewthatIdeservedbetter.

Don'tbescrupulousaboutclothes,ifyouthinkofputtingyourselfintotheprotectionoftheladiesofhisfamily.Theyknowhowmattersstandbetweenyouandyourrelations,andloveyounevertheworseforthesillypeople'scruelty.

Iknowyouwon'tdemandpossessionofyourestate.Butgivehimarighttodemanditforyou;andthatwillbestillbetter.

Adieu,mydear!Mayheavenguideanddirectyouinallyoursteps,isthedailyprayerof

YoureveraffectionateandfaithfulANNAHOWE.

LETTERLI

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAY,APRIL21.

Thou,Lovelace,hastbeenlongtheentertainer;Itheentertained.NorhaveIbeensolicitoustoanimadvert,asthouwentestalong,uponthyinventions,andtheirtendency.ForIbelieved,thatwithallthyairs,theunequalledperfectionsandfinequalitiesofthisladywouldalwaysbeherprotectionandsecurity.ButnowthatIfindthouhastsofarsucceeded,astoinducehertocometotown,andtochooseherlodgingsinahouse,thepeopleofwhichwilltooprobablydampandsuppressanyhonourablemotionswhichmayariseinthymindinherfavour,Icannothelpwriting,andthatprofessedlyinherbehalf.

Myinducementstothisarenotowingtovirtue:Butiftheywere,whathopecouldIhaveofaffectingtheebypleasarisingfromit?

Norwouldsuchamanasthouartbedeterred,wereItoremindtheeofthevengeancewhichthoumayestonedayexpect,ifthouinsultestawomanofhercharacter,family,andfortune.

Neitheraregratitudeandhonourmotivestobementionedinawoman'sfavour,tomensuchasweare,whoconsiderallthoseofthesexasfairprize,overhonour,inthegeneralacceptationoftheword,aretwothings.

Whatthenismymotive?--What,butthetruefriendshipthatIbearthee,Lovelace;whichmakesmepleadthyownsake,andthyfamily'ssake,inthejusticethouowesttothisincomparablecreature;who,however,sowelldeservestohavehersaketobementionedastheprincipalconsideration.

LasttimeIwasatM.Hall,thynobleunclesoearnestlypressedmetousemyinteresttopersuadetheetoenterthepale,andgavemesomanyfamilyreasonsforit,thatIcouldnothelpengagingmyselfheartilyonhissideofthequestion;andtherather,asIknewthatthyown



intentionswithregardtothisfinewomanwerethenworthyofher.AndofthisIassuredhisLordship;whowashalfafraidofthee,becauseoftheillusagethoureceivedstfromherfamily.Butnow,thatthecaseisaltered,letmepressthematterhometotheefromotherconsiderations.

BywhatIhaveheardofthislady'sperfectionsfromeverymouth,aswellasfromthine,andfromeveryletterthouhastwritten,wherewiltthoufindsuchanotherwoman?Andwhyshouldstthoutempthervirtue?--Whyshouldstthouwishtotrywherethereisnoreasontodoubt?

WereIinthycase,anddesignedtomarry,andifIpreferredawomanasIknowthoudostthistoallthewomenintheworld,Ishouldreadtomakefurthertrial,knowingwhatweknowofthesex,forfearofsucceeding;andespeciallyifIdoubtednot,thatiftherewereawomanintheworldvirtuousatheart,itisshe.

Andletmetellthee,Lovelace,thatinthislady'ssituation,thetrialisnotafairtrial.Consideringthedepthofthyplotsandcontrivances:consideringtheopportunitieswhichIseethoumusthavewithher,inspiteofherownheart;allherrelations'folliesactinginconcert,thoughunknowntothemselves,withthywicked,scheminghead:consideringhowdestituteofprotectionsheis:consideringthehousesheistobein,whereshewillbesurroundedwiththyimplements;

specious,well-bredandgenteelcreatures,noteasilytobedetectedwhentheyaredisposedtopreserveappearances,especiallybytheyounginexperiencedladywhollyunacquaintedwiththetown:consideringallthesethings,Isay,whatglory,whatcauseoftriumphwiltthouhave,ifsheshouldbeovercome?--Thou,too,amanbornforintrigue,fullofinvention,intrepid,remorseless,ablepatientlytowatchforthyopportunity,nothurried,asmostmen,bygustsofviolentpassion,whichoftennipaprojectinthebud,andmakethesnail,thatwasjustputtingouthishornstomeettheinviter,withdrawintoitsshell--amanwhohasnoregardtohiswordoroathtothesex;theladyscrupulouslystricttoherword,incapableofartordesign;aptthereforetobelievewellofothers--itwouldbeamiracleifshestoodsuchanattempter,suchattempts,andsuchsnares,asIseewillbe

laidforher.And,afterall,Iseenotwhenmenaresofrailwithoutimportunity,thatsomuchshouldbeexpectedfromwomen,daughtersofthesamefathersandmothers,andmadeupofthesamebrittlecompounds,(educationallthedifference,)norwherethetriumphisinsubduingthem.

MaytherenotbeotherLovelaces,thouaskest,who,attractedbyherbeauty,mayendeavourtoprevailwithher?*

*SeeLetterXVIII.ofthisvolume.

No;therecannot,Ianswer,besuchanotherman,person,mind,fortune,andthycharacter,asabovegiven,takenin.Ifthouimaginesttherecould,suchisthypride,thatthouwouldstthinktheworseofthyself.

Butletmetouchuponthypredominantpassion,revenge;forloveisbutsecondtothat,asIhaveoftentoldthee,thoughithassettheeintoravingatme:whatpoorpretencesforrevengearethedifficultiesthouhadstingettingheroff;allowingthatshehadrunarisqueofbeingSolmes'swife,hadshestaid?Iftheseareotherthanpretences,whythankestthounotthosewho,bytheirpersecutionsofher,answeredthy



hopes,andthrewherintothypower?--Besides,arenotthepretencesthoumakestforfurthertrial,mostungratefully,aswellascontradictorilyfoundeduponthesuppositionoferrorinher,occasionedbyherfavourtothee?

Andletme,fortheutterconfusionofthypoorpleasofthisnature,askthee--Wouldshe,inthyopinion,hadshewillinglygoneoffwiththee,havebeenentitledtobetterquarter?--Foramistressindeedshemight:buthowwouldstthouforawifehavehadcausetolikeherhalfsowellasnow?

Hasshenotdemonstrated,thateventhehighestprovocationswerenotsufficienttowarpherfromherdutytoherparents,thoughanative,and,asImaysay,anoriginallyinvoluntaryduty,becausenative?Andisnotthisacharmingearnestthatshewillsacredlyobserveastillhigherdutyintowhichsheproposestoenter,whenshedoesenter,byplightedvows,andentirelyasavolunteer?

Thatshelovesthee,wickedasthouart,andcruelasapanther,thereisnoreasontodoubt.Yet,whatacommandhassheoverherself,thatsuchapenetratingself-flattererasthyselfissometimesreadytodoubtit!Thoughpersecutedontheonehand,asshewas,byherownfamily,andattracted,ontheother,bythesplendourofthine;everyoneofwhomcourtshertorankherselfamongthem!

ThouwiltperhapsthinkthatIhavedepartedfrommyproposition,andpleadedthelady'ssakemorethanthine,intheabove--butnosuchthing.AllthatIhavewrittenismoreinthybehalfthaninher's;sinceshemaymaketheehappy;butitisnexttoimpossible,Ishouldthink,ifshepreserveherdelicacy,thatthoucanstmakeherso.Whatistheloveofarakishheart?Therecannotbepeculiarityinit.ButIneednotgivemyfurtherreasons.Thouwilthaveingenuousnessenough,Idaresay,werethereoccasionforit,tosubscribetomyopinion.

Ipleadnotforthestatefromanygreatlikingtoitmyself.NorhaveI,atpresent,thoughtsofenteringintoit.But,asthouartthelastofthyname;asthyfamilyisofnoteandfigureinthycountry;andas

thouthyselfthinkestthatthoushaltonedaymarry:Isitpossible,letmeaskthee,thatthoucansthavesuchanotheropportunityasthounowhast,ifthoulettestthisslip?Awomaninherfamilyandfortunenotunworthyofthineown(thoughthouartsoapt,fromprideofancestry,andprideofheart,tospeakslightlyofthefamiliesthoudislikest);socelebratedforbeauty;andsonotedatthesametimeforprudence,forsoul,(Iwillsay,insteadofsense,)andforvirtue?

Ifthouartnotsonarrow-mindedanelf,astopreferthineownsinglesatisfactiontoposterity,thou,whoshouldstwishtobegetchildrenforduration,wiltnotpostponetilltherake'susualtime;thatistosay,tilldiseasesoryears,orboth,layholdofthee;sinceinthatcasethouwouldstentitlethyselftothecursesofthylegitimateprogeny

forgivingthemabeingaltogethermiserable:abeingwhichtheywillbeobligedtoholduponaworsetenurethanthattenant-courtesy,whichthoucallesttheworst;*towit,upontheDoctor'scourtesy;thydescendantsalsopropagating(iftheyshalllive,andbeabletopropagate)awretchedrace,thatshallentailthecurse,orthereasonforit,uponremotegenerations.

Wickedasthesoberworldaccountsyouandme,wehavenotyet,itistobehoped,gotoverallcompunction.Althoughwefindreligionagainstus,wehavenotyetpresumedthosewhodo.Andweknowbetterthanto



beevendoubters.Inshort,webelieveafuturestateofrewardsandpunishments.Butaswehavesomuchyouthandhealthinhand,wehopetohavetimeforrepentance.Thatistosay,inplainEnglish,[northinkthoumetoograve,Lovelace:thouartgravesometimes,thoughnotoften,]wehopetolivetosense,aslongassensecanrelish,andpurposetoreformwhenwecansinnolonger.

Andshallthisadmirablewomansufferforhergenerousendeavourstosetonfootthyreformation;andforinsistinguponproofsofthesincerityofthyprofessionsbeforeshewillbethine?

Uponthewholematter,letmewishtheetoconsiderwellwhatthouartabout,beforethougoestastepfartherinthepathwhichthouhastchalkedoutforthyselftotread,andartjustgoingtoenterupon.Hithertoallissofarright,thatiftheladymistruststhyhonour,shehasnoproofs.Behonesttoher,then,inhersenseoftheword.Noneofthycompanions,thouknowest,willoffertolaughatwhatthoudost.Andiftheyshould(ofthyenteringintoastatewhichhasbeensomuchridiculedbythee,andbyallofus)thouhastoneadvantage--itisthis,thatthoucanstnotbeashamed.

Deferringtothepost-daytoclosemyletter,IfindoneleftatmycousinOsgood's,withdirectionstobeforwardedtothelady.Itwasbroughtwithinthesetwohoursbyaparticularhand,andhasa

Harlowe-sealuponit.Asitmaythereforebeofimportance,Idispatchitwithmyown,bymyservant,post-haste.*

*ThisletterwasfromMissArabellaHarlowe.SeeLet.LV.

Isupposeyouwillsoonbeintown.Withoutthelady,Ihope.Farewell.

Behonest,andbehappy,J.BELFORD.

SAT.APRIL22.

LETTERLII

MRS.HERVEY,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INANSWERTOLETTERXVIII.]

DEARNIECE,

Itwouldbehardnottowriteafewlines,somuchpressedtowrite,tooneIeverloved.YourformerletterIreceived;yetwasnotatlibertytoanswerit.Ibreakmywordtoansweryounow.

Strangeinformationsareeverydayreceivedaboutyou.Thewretchyouarewith,wearetold,iseveryhourtriumphinganddefying--Mustnottheseinformationsaggravate?Youknowtheuncontroulablenessoftheman.Heloveshisownhumourbetterthanhelovesyou--thoughsofineacreatureasyouare!Iwarnedyouoverandover:noyoungladywasevermorewarned!--MissClarissaHarlowetodosuchathing!

Youmighthavegivenyourfriendsthemeeting.Ifyouhadheldyouraversion,itwouldhavebeencompliedwith.AssoonasIwasintrusted



myselfwiththeirintentiontogiveupthepoint,Igaveyouahint--adarkoneperhaps*--butwhowouldhavethought--OMiss!--Suchanartfulflight!--Suchcunningpreparations!

Butyouwanttoclearupthings--whatcanyouclearup?Areyounotgoneoff?--WithaLovelacetoo?What,mydear,wouldyouclearup?

Youdidnotdesigntogo,yousay.Whydidyoumeethimthen,chariotandsix,horsemen,allpreparedbyhim?Omydear,howartproducesart!--Willitbebelieved?--Ifitwould,whatpowerwillhebethoughttohavehadoveryou!--He--Who?--Lovelace!--Thevilestoflibertines!--Overwhom?AClarissa!--Wasyourloveforsuchamanaboveyourreason?Aboveyourresolution?Whatcreditwouldabeliefofthis,ifbelieved,bringyou?--Howmendthematter?--Oh!thatyouhadstoodthenextmorning!

I'lltellyouallthatwasintendedifyouhad.

Itwas,indeed,imaginedthatyouwouldnothavebeenabletoresistyourfather'sentreatiesandcommands.Hewasresolvedtobeallcondescension,ifanewyouhadnotprovokedhim.IlovemyClaryHarlowe,saidhe,butanhourbeforethekillingtidingswerebroughthim;Iloveherasmylife:Iwillkneeltoher,ifnothingelsewilldo,toprevailuponhertoobligeme.

Yourfatherandmother(thereverseofwhatshouldhavebeen!)wouldhavehumbledthemselvestoyou:andifyoucouldhavedeniedthem,andrefusedtosignthesettlementsprevioustothemeeting,theywouldhaveyielded,althoughwithregret.

Butitwaspresumed,sonaturallysweetyourtemper,soself-denyingastheythoughtyou,thatyoucouldnothavewithstoodthem,notwithstandingallyourdislikeoftheoneman,withoutagreaterdegreeofheadstrongpassionfortheother,thanyouhadgivenanyofusreasontoexpectfromyou.

Ifyouhad,themeetingonWednesdaywouldhavebeenalightertrialto

you.Youwouldhavebeenpresentedtoallyourassembledfriends,withashortspeechonly,'Thatthiswastheyoungcreature,tillverylatelyfaultless,condescending,andobliging;nowhavingcausetogloryinatriumphoverthewillsoffather,mother,uncles,themostindulgent;overfamily-interests,family-views;andpreferringherownwilltoeverybody's!andthisforatransitorypreferencetopersononly;therebeingnocomparisonbetweenthemenintheirmorals.'

Thuscompliedwith,andperhapsblessed,byyourfatherandmother,andtheconsequencesofyourdisobediencedeprecatedinthesolemnestmannerbyyourinimitablemother,yourgenerositywouldhavebeenappealedto,sinceyourdutywouldhavebeenfounttooweakaninducement,andyouwouldhavebeenbidtowithdrawforonehalfhour'sconsideration.Then

wouldthesettlementshavebeenagaintenderedforyoursigning,bythepersonleastdisobligingtoyou;byyourgoodNortonperhaps;sheperhapssecondedbyyourfatheragain;and,ifagainrefused,youwouldhaveagainhavebeenledintodeclaresuchyourrefusal.Somerestrictionswhichyouyourselfhadproposed,wouldhavebeeninsistedupon.Youwouldhavebeenpermittedtogohomewithme,orwithyouruncleAntony,(withwhichofuswasnotagreedupon,becausetheyhopedyoumightbepersuaded,)theretostaytillthearrivalofyourcousinMorden;ortillyourfathercouldhavebornetoseeyou;ortillassuredthattheviewsofLovelacewereatanend.



Thistheintention,yourfathersosetuponyourcompliance,somuchinhopesthatyouwouldhaveyielded,thatyouwouldhavebeenprevaileduponbymethodssocondescendingandsogentle;nowonderthathe,inparticular,waslikeadistractedman,whenheheardofyourflight--ofyourflightsopremeditated;--withyourivysummer-housedinings,yourartstoblindme,andallofus!--Naughty,naughty,youngcreature!

I,formypart,wouldnotbelieveit,whentoldofit.YouruncleHerveywouldnotbelieveit.Weratherexpected,weratherfeared,astillmoredesperateadventure.Therecouldbebutonemoredesperate;andIwasreadiertohavethecascaderesortedto,thanthegardenback-door.--Yourmotherfaintedaway,whileherheartwastornbetweenthetwoapprehensions.--Yourfather,poorman!yourfatherwasbesidehimselffornearanhour--Whatimprecations!--Whatdreadfulimprecations!--Tothisdayhecanhardlybearyourname:yetcanthinkofnobodyelse.Yourmerits,mydear,butaggravateyourfault.--Somethingoffreshaggravationeveryhour.--Howcananyfavourbeexpected?

Iamsorryforit;butamafraidnothingyouaskwillbecompliedwith.

Whymentionyou,mydear,thesavingyoufrommortifications,whohavegoneoffwithaman?Whatapoorprideisittostanduponanything

else!

Idarenotopenmylipsinyourfavour.Nobodydare.Yourlettermuststandbyitself.ThishascausedmetosendittoHarlowe-place.Expectthereforegreatseverity.Mayyoubeenabledtosupportthelotyouhavedrawn!Omydear!howunhappyhaveyoumadeeverybody!Canyouexpecttobehappy?Yourfatherwishesyouhadneverbeenborn.Yourpoormother--butwhyshouldIafflictyou?Thereisnownohelp!--Youmustbechanged,indeed,ifyouarenotveryunhappyyourselfinthereflectionsyourthoughtfulmindmustsuggesttoyou.

Youmustnowmakethebestofyourlot.Yetnotmarried,itseems!

Itisinyourpower,yousay,toperformwhateveryoushallundertaketodo.Youmaydeceiveyourself:youhopethatyourreputationandthefavourofyourfriendsmayberetrieved.Never,never,both,Idoubt,ifeither.Everyoffendedperson(andthatisallwholovedyou,andarerelatedtoyou)mustjointorestoreyou:whencanthesebeofonemindinacasesonotoriouslywrong?

Itwouldbeverygrievous,yousay,tobeprecipitateduponmeasuresthatmaymakethedesirablereconciliationmoredifficult.Isitnow,mydear,atimeforyoutobeafraidofbeingprecipitated?Atpresent,ifever,therecanbenothoughtofreconciliation.Theupshotofyourprecipitationmustfirstbeseen.Theremaybemurderyet,asfarasweknow.Willthemanyouarewithpartwillinglywithyou?Ifnot,what

maybetheconsequence?Ifhewill--Lordblessme!whatshallwethinkofhisreasonsforit?--Iwillflythisthought.Iknowyourpurity--But,mydear,areyounotoutofallprotection?--Areyounotunmarried?--Haveyounot(makingyourdailyprayersuseless)thrownyourselfintotemptation?Andisnotthemanthemostwickedofplotters?

Youhavehitherto,yousay,(andIthink,mydear,withanairunbecomingtoyourdeclaredpenitence,)nofaulttofindwiththebehaviourofamanfromwhomeveryevilwasapprehended:likeCaesarto



theRomanaugur,whichIheardyoutellof,whohadbidhimbewaretheIdesofMarch:theIdesofMarch,saidCaesar,seeingtheauguramongthecrowd,ashemarchedinstatetothesenate-house,fromwhichhewasnevertoreturnalive,theIdesofMarcharecome.Buttheyarenotpast,theaugurreplied.Maketheapplication,mydear:mayyoubeabletomakethisreflectionuponhisgoodbehaviourtothelastofyourknowledgeofhim!Mayhebehavehimselfbettertoyou,thanheeverdidtoanybodyelseoverwhomhehadpower!Amen!

Noanswer,Ibeseechyou.IhopeyourmessengerwillnottellanybodythatIhavewrittentoyou.AndIdaresayyouwillnotshowwhatIhavewrittentoMr.Lovelace--forIhavewrittenwiththelessreserve,dependinguponyourprudence.

Youhavemyprayers.

MyDollyknowsnotthatIwrite:nobodydoes*;notevenMr.Hervey.

*NotwithstandingwhatMrs.Herveyheresays,itwillbehereafterseenthatthissevereletterwaswritteninprivateconcertwiththeimplacableArabella.

Dollywouldhaveseveraltimeswritten:buthavingdefendedyourfaultwithheat,andwithapartialitythatalarmedus,(suchafallasyour's,mydear,mustbealarmingtoallparents,)shehasbeenforbidden,onpainoflosingourfavourforever:andthisatyourfamily'srequest,aswellasbyherfather'scommands.

Youhavethepoorgirl'shourlyprayers,Iwill,however,tellyou,thoughsheknowsnotwhatIdo,aswellasthoseof

Yourtrulyafflictedaunt,D.HERVEY.

FRIDAY,APRIL21.

LETTERLIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE[WITHTHEPRECEDING.]SAT.MORN.APRIL22.

IhavejustnowreceivedtheenclosedfrommyauntHervey.Bepleased,mydear,tokeephersecretofhavingwrittentotheunhappywretchherniece.

ImaygotoLondon,Isee,orwhereIwill.Nomatterwhatbecomesofme.

IwasthewillingertosuspendmyjourneythithertillIheardfromHarlowe-place.Ithought,ifIcouldbeencouragedtohopeforareconciliation,Iwouldletthismansee,thatheshouldnothavemeinhispower,butuponmyownterms,ifatall.

ButIfindImustbehis,whetherIwillornot;andperhapsthroughstillgreatermortificationsthanthosegreatoneswhichIhavealready



metwith--AndmustIbesoabsolutelythrownuponaman,withwhomIamnotatallsatisfied!

Myletterissent,yousee,toHarlowe-place.Myheartachesforthereceptionitmaymeetwiththere.

Onecomfortonlyarisestomefromitsbeingsent;thatmyauntwillclearherself,bythecommunication,fromthesuppositionofhavingcorrespondedwiththepoorcreaturewhomtheyhavealldeterminetoreprobate.ItisnosmallpartofmymisfortunethatIhaveweakenedtheconfidenceonedearfriendhasinanother,andmadeonelookcooluponanother.MypoorcousinDolly,yousee,hasreasontoregretonthisaccount,aswellasmyaunt.MissHowe,mydearMissHowe,isbuttoosensibleoftheeffectsofmyfault,havinghadmorewordswithhermotheronmyaccount,thanevershehadonanyother.YetthemanwhohasdrawnmeintoallthisevilImustbethrownupon!--MuchdidIconsider,muchdidIapprehend,beforemyfault,supposingIweretobeguiltyofit:butIsawitnotinallitsshockinglights.

Andnow,toknowthatmyfather,anhourbeforehereceivedthetidingsofmysupposedflight,ownedthathelovedmeashislife:thathewouldhavebeenallcondescension:thathewould--Oh!mydear,howtender,howmortifyinglytendernowinhim!Myauntneednothavebeenafraid,thatitshouldbeknownthatshehassentmesuchaletterasthis!--Afather

tokneeltohischild!--Therewouldnotindeedhavebeenanybearingofthat!--WhatIshouldhavedoneinsuchacase,Iknownot.Deathwouldhavebeenmuchmorewelcometomethansuchasight,onsuchanoccasion,inbehalfofamansovery,verydisgustfultome!--ButIhaddeserveannihilation,hadIsufferedmyfathertokneelinvain.

Yet,hadbutthesacrificeofinclinationandpersonalpreferencebeenall,lessthanKNEELINGshouldhavebeendone.Mydutyshouldhavebeentheconquerorofmyinclination.Butanaversion--anaversionsoverysincere!--Thetriumphofacruelandambitiousbrother,eversouncontroulable,joinedwiththeinsultsofanenvioussister,bringingwillstotheirs,whichotherwisewouldhavebeenfavourabletome:themarriage-duties,soabsolutelyindispensable,sosolemnlytobeengaged

for:themarriage-intimacies(permitmetosaytoyou,myfriend,whatthepurest,althoughwithapprehension,mustthinkof)soveryintimate:myselfonewhohasneverlookeduponanyduty,muchlessavoluntary-vowedone,withindifference;couldithavebeenhonestinmetohavegivenmyhandtoanodioushand,andtohaveconsentedtosuchamorethanreluctant,suchanimmiscibleunion,ifImaysocallit?--Forlifetoo!--DidnotIthinkmoreanddeeperthanmostyoungcreaturesthink;didInotweigh,didInotreflect,Imightperhapshavebeenlessobstinate.--Delicacy,(mayIpresumetocallit?)thinking,weighing,reflection,arenotblessings(Ihenotfoundthemsuch)inthedegreeIhavethem.IwishIhadbeenable,insomeverynicecases,tohaveknownwhatindifferencewas;yetnottohavemyignoranceimputabletomeasafault.Oh!mydear!thefinersensibilities,ifI

maysupposeminetobesuch,makenothappy.

Whatamethodhadmyfriendsintendedtotakewithme!This,Idaresay,wasamethodchalkedoutbymybrother.He,Isuppose,wastohavepresentedmetoallmyassembledfriends,asthedaughtercapableofpreferringherownwilltothewillsofthemall.Itwouldhavebeenasoretrial,nodoubt.WouldtoHeaven,however,Ihadstoodit--lettheissuehavebeenwhatitwould,wouldtoHeavenIhadstoodit!

Theremaybemurder,myauntsays.Thislooksasifsheknewof



Singleton'srashplot.Suchanupshot,asshecallsit,ofthisunhappyaffair,Heavenavert!

Shefliesathought,thatIcanlessdwellupon--acruelthought--butshehasapooropinionofthepurityshecomplimentsmewith,ifshethinksthatIamnot,byGod'sgrace,abovetemptationfromthissex.AlthoughIneversawaman,whosepersonIcouldlike,beforethisman;yethisfaultycharacterallowedmebutlittlemeritfromtheindifferenceIpretendedtoonhisaccount.But,nowIseehiminnearerlights,Ilikehimlessthanever.Unpolite,cruel,insolent!--Unwise!Atriflerwithhisownhappiness;thedestroyerofmine!--Hislasttreatment--myfatetoovisiblyinhispower--masterofhisownwishes,[shametosayit,]ifheknewwhattowishfor.--IndeedIneverlikedhimsolittleasnow.Uponmyword,IthinkIcouldhatehim,(ifIdonotalreadyhatehim)soonerthananymanIeverthoughttolerablyof--agoodreasonwhy:becauseIhavebeenmoredisappointedinmyexpectationsofhim;althoughtheyneverweresohigh,astohavemadehimmychoiceinpreferencetothesinglelife,hadthatbeenpermittedme.Still,ifthegivinghimupforeverwillmakemypathtoreconciliationeasy,andiftheywillsignifyasmuchtome,theyshallseethatIneverwillbehis:forIhavethevanitytothinkmysoulhissoul'ssuperior.

YouwillsayIrave:forbiddentowritetomyaunt,andtaughtto

despairofreconciliation,you,mydear,mustbetroubledwithmypassionateresentments.WhatawretchwasItogivehimameeting,sincebythatIputitoutofmypowertomeetmyassembledfriends!--Allwouldnow,ifIhadmetthem,beenover;andwhocantellwhenmypresentdistresseswill?--Ridofbothmen,IhadbeennowperhapsatmyauntHervey'soratmyuncleAntony's;wishingformycousinMorden'sarrival,whomighthaveaccommodatedall.

Iintended,indeed,tohavestoodit:And,ifIhad,howknowIbywhosenameImightnowhavebeencalled?ForhowshouldIhaveresistedacondescending,akneelingfather,hadhebeenabletohavekepthistemperwithme?

Yetmyauntsayhewouldhaverelented,ifIhadnot.Perhapshewouldhavebeenmovedbymyhumility,beforehecouldhaveshownsuchunduecondescension.Suchtemperashewouldhavereceivedmewithmighthavebeenimproveduponinmyfavour.Andthathehaddesignedultimatelytorelent,howitclearsmyfriends(atleasttothemselves)andcondemnsme!Owhyweremyaunt'shints(Irememberthemnow)soverydark?--YetIintendedtohavereturnedaftertheinterview;andthenperhapsshewouldhaveexplainedherself.--Othisartful,thisdesigningLovelace--yetImustrepeat,thatmostoughtItoblamemyselfformeetinghim.

Butfar,far,bebanishedfrommefruitlessrecrimination!Farbanished,becausefruitless!Letmewrapmyselfaboutinthemantleofmyown

integrity,andtakecomfortinmyunfaultyintention!Sinceitisnowtoolatetolookback,letmecollectallmyfortitude,andendeavourtostandthoseshaftsofangryProvidence,whichitwillnotpermitmetoshun!That,whateverthetrialsmaybewhichIamdestinedtoundergo,Imaynotbehaveunworthilyinthem,andmaycomeoutamendedbythem.

Joinwithmeinthisprayer,mybelovedfriend;foryourownhonour'ssake,aswellasforlove'ssake,joinwithmeinit;lestadeviationonmysideshould,withthecensorious,castashadeuponafriendshipwhichhasnolevityinit;andthebasisofwhichisimprovement,as



wellinthegreateraslesserduties.

CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERLIV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESATURDAYAFTERNOON,APRIL22.

Omybest,myonlyfriend!Nowindeedismyheartbroken!Ithasreceivedablowitneverwillrecover.Thinknotofcorrespondingwithawretchwhonowseemsabsolutelydevoted.Howcanitbeotherwise,ifaparent'scurseshavetheweightIalwaysattributedtothem,andhaveheardsomanyinstancesinconfirmationofthatweight!--Yes,mydearMissHowe,superaddedtoallmyafflictions,Ihavetheconsequencesofafather'scursetostrugglewith!HowshallIsupportthisreflection!--Mypastandmypresentsituationsomuchauthorizingmyapprehensions!

Ihave,atlast,aletterfrommyunrelentingsister.WouldtoHeavenIhadnotprovokeditbymysecondlettertomyauntHervey!Itlayready

forme,itseems.Thethunderslept,tillIawakenedit.Ienclosetheletteritself.TranscribeitIcannot.Thereisnobearingthethoughtsofit:for[shockingreflection!]thecurseextendstothelifebeyondthis.

Iaminthedepthofvapourishdespondency.Icanonlyrepeat--shun,fly,correspondnotwithawretchsodevotedas

CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERLV

TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETOBELEFTATMR.OSGOOD'S,NEARSOHO-SQUAREFRIDAY,APRIL21.

Itwasexpectedyouwouldsendagaintome,ortomyauntHervey.Theenclosedhaslainreadyforyou,therefore,bydirection.Youwillhavenoanswerfromanybody,writetowhomyouwill,andasoftenasyouwill,andwhatyouwill.

Itwasdesignedtobringyoubackbyproperauthority,ortosendyouwhitherthedisgracesyouhavebroughtuponusallshouldbeinthe

likeliestway,afterawhile,tobeforgotten.ButIbelievethatdesignisover:soyoumayrangesecurely--nobodywillthinkitworthwhiletogivethemselvesanytroubleaboutyou.Yetmymotherhasobtainedleavetosendyouyourclothesofallsorts:butyourclothesonly.Thisisafavouryou'llseebythewithinletternotdesignedyou:andnownotgrantedforyoursake,butbecausemypoormothercannotbearinhersightanythingyouusedtowear.Readtheenclosed,andtremble.

ARABELLAHARLOWE.



TOTHEMOSTUNGRATEFULANDUNDUTIFULOFDAUGHTERSHARLOWE-PLACE,APRIL15.

SISTERTHATWAS!

ForIknownotwhatnameyouarepermitted,orchoosetogoby.

Youhavefilledusallwithdistraction.Myfather,inthefirstagitationsofhismind,ondiscoveringyourwicked,yourshamefulelopement,imprecatedonhiskneesafearfulcurseuponyou.Trembleattherecitalofit!--Noless,than'thatyoumaymeetyourpunishmentbothhereandhereafter,bymeansoftheverywretchinwhomyouhavechosentoplaceyourwickedconfidence.'

Yourclotheswillnotbesentyou.Youseen,byleavingthembehindyou,tohavebeensecureofthem,wheneveryoudemandedthem,butperhapsyoucouldthinkofnothingbutmeetingyourfellow:--nothingbuthowtogetoffyourforwardself!--Foreverythingseemstohavebeenforgottenbutwhatwastocontributetoyourwickedflight.--Yetyoujudgedright,perhaps,thatyouwouldhavebeendetectedhadyouendeavouredtogetawaywithyourclothes.--Cunningcreature!nottomakeonestepthatwewouldguessatyouby!Cunningtoeffectyourownruin,andthedisgraceofallthefamily!

Butdoesthewretchputyouuponwritingforyourthings,forfearyoushouldbetooexpensivetohim?--That'sit,Isuppose.

Wasthereeveragiddiercreature?--Yetthisisthecelebrated,theblazingClarissa--Clarissawhat?Harlowe,nodoubt!--AndHarloweitwillbe,tothedisgraceofusall!

Yourdrawingsandyourpiecesarealltakendown;asisalsoyourwhole-lengthpicture,intheVandyketaste,fromyourlateparlour:theyaretakendown,andthrownintoyourcloset,whichwillbenailedup,asifitwerenotapartofthehouse,theretoperishtogether:Forwhocanbeartoseethem?Yet,howdidtheyusetobeshowntoeverybody:

theformer,forthemagnifyingofyourdaintyfinger-works;thelatter,fortheimputeddignity(dignitynowinthedust!)ofyourboastedfigure;andthisbythosefondparentsfromwhomyouhaverunawaywithsomuch,yetwithsolittlecontrivance!

Mybrothervowsrevengeuponyourlibertine--forthefamily'ssakehevowsit--notforyours!--forhewilltreatyou,hedeclares,likeacommoncreature,ifeverheseesyou:anddoubtsnotthatthiswillbeyourfate.

MyuncleHarlowerenouncesyouforever.

SodoesmyuncleAntony.

SodoesmyauntHervey.

SodoI,base,unworthycreature!thedisgraceofagoodfamily,andthepropertyofaninfamousrake,asquestionlessyouwillsoonfindyourself,ifyouarenotalready.

Yourbooks,sincetheyhavenottaughtyouwhatbelongstoyourfamily,toyoursex,andtoyoureducation,willnotbesenttoyou.Yourmoneyneither.Noryetthejewelssoundeservedlymadeyours.Foritiswished



youmaybeseenabeggaralongLondon-streets.

Ifallthisisheavy,layyourhandtoyourheart,andaskyourself,whyyouhavedeservedit?

Everymanwhomyourpridetaughtyoutorejectwithscorn(Mr.Solmesexcepted,who,however,hasreasontorejoicethathemissedyou)triumphsinyourshamefulelopement,andnowknowshowtoaccountforhisbeingrefused.

YourworthyNortonisashamedofyou,andmingleshertearswithyourmother's;bothreproachingthemselvesfortheirsharesinyou,andinsofruitlessaneducation.

Everybody,inshort,isashamedofyou:butnonemorethan

ARABELLAHARLOWE.

LETTERLVI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETUESDAY,APRIL25.

Becomforted;benotdejected;donotdespond,mydearestandbest-belovedfriend.GodAlmightyisjustandgracious,andgivesnothisassenttorashandinhumancurses.CanyouthinkthatHeavenwillsealtotheblackpassionsofitsdepravedcreatures?Ifitdid,malice,envy,andrevengewouldtriumph;andthebestofthehumanrace,blastedbythemalignityoftheworst,wouldbemiserableinbothworlds.

Thisoutrageousnessshowsonlywhatmannerofspirittheyareof,andhowmuchtheirsordidviewsexceedtheirparentallove.'Tisallowingtorageanddisappointment--disappointmentindesignspropertobefrustrated.

Ifyouconsiderthismaledictionasitoughttobeconsidered,apersonofyourpietymustandwillratherpityandprayforyourrashfather,thanterrifyyourselfontheoccasion.NonebugGodcancurse;parentsorothers,whoevertheybe,canonlypraytoHimtocurse:andsuchprayerscanhavenoweightwithajustandall-perfectBeing,themotivestowhichareunreasonable,andtheendproposedbythemcruel.

HasnotGodcommandedustoblessandcursenot?Prayforyourfather,then,Irepeat,thatheincurnotthemaledictionhehasannouncedonyou;sincehehasbroken,asyousee,acommandtrulydivine;whileyou,byobeyingthatotherpreceptwhichenjoinsustoprayforthemthatpersecuteandcurseus,willturnthecurseintoablessing.

Mymotherblamesthemforthiswickedletterofyoursister;andshepitiesyou;and,ofherownaccord,wishedmetowritetocomfortyou,forthisonce:forshesays,itispityyourheart,whichwassonoble,(andwhenthesenseofyourfault,andtheweightofaparent'scursearesostronguponyou,)shouldbequitebroken.

Lordblessme,howyourauntwrites!--Cantherebetworightsandtwowrongsinpalpablecases!--But,mydear,shemustbewrong:sotheyallhavebeen,justifythemselvesnowastheywill.Theycanonlyjustify



themselvestothemselvesfromselfishprinciples,resolvingtoacquit,notfairlytotrythemselves.Didyourunkindaunt,inallthetediousprogressofyourcontentionswiththem,giveyoutheleasthopeoftheirrelenting?--HerdarkhintsnowIrecollectaswellasyou.Butwhywasanythinggoodorhopefultobedarklyhinted?--Howeasywasitforher,whopretendedalwaystoloveyou;forher,whocangivesuchflowinglicensetoherpenforyourhurt;tohavegivenyouoneword,oneline(inconfidence)oftheirpretendedchangeofmeasures!

Butdonotmindtheirafter-pretences,mydear--allofthemservebutfortacitconfessionsoftheirvileusageofyou.Iwillkeepyouraunt'ssecret,neverfear.Iwouldnot,onanyconsideration,thatmymothershouldseeherletter.

Youwillnowseethatyouhavenothingleftbuttoovercomeallscrupulousness,andmarryassonasyouhaveanopportunity.Determinetodoso,mydear.

Iwillgiveyouamotiveforit,regardingmyself.ForthisIhaveresolved,andthisIhavevowed,[Ofriend,thebestbelovedofmyheart,benotangrywithmeforit!]'Thatsolongasyourhappinessisinsuspence,Iwillneverthinkofmarrying.'InjusticetothemanIshallhave,Ihavevowedthis:for,mydear,mustInotbemiserable,ifyouareso?AndwhatanunworthywifemustIbetoanymanwhocannot

haveinterestenoughinmyhearttomakehisobligingnessabalanceforanafflictionhehasnotcaused!

IwouldshowLovelaceyoursister'sabominableletter,wereittome.Iencloseit.Itshallnothaveaplaceinthishouse.Thiswillenterhimofcourseintothesubjectwhichyounowoughttohavemostinview.Lethimseewhatyousufferforhim.Hecannotprovebasetosuchanexcellence.Ishouldneverenjoymyheadormysensesshouldthismanproveavillaintoyou!--Withameritsoexalted,youmayhavepunishmentmorethanenoughforyourinvoluntaryfaultinthathusband.

Iwouldnothaveyoubetoosurethattheirprojecttoseizeyouisover.Thewordsintimatingthatitisover,intheletterofthat

abominableArabella,seemcalculatedtogiveyousecurity.--Sheonlysaysshebelievesthatdesignisover.--AndIdonotyetfindfromMissLloydthatitisdisavowed.Soitwillbebest,whenyouareinLondon,tobeprivate,and,forfearoftheworst,toleteverydirectiontobeathirdplace;forIwouldnot,fortheworld,haveyoufallintothehandsofsuchflamingandmalevolentspiritsbysurprize.

Iwillmyselfbecontenttodirectyouatsomethirdplace;andIshallthenbeabletoavertomymother,ortoanyother,ifoccasionbe,thatIknownotwhereyouare.

Besides,thismeasurewillmakeyoulessapprehensiveoftheconsequencesoftheirviolence,shouldtheyresolvetoattempttocarry

youofinspiteofLovelace.

IwouldhaveyoudirecttoMr.Hickman,evenyouranswertothis.Ihaveareasonforit.Besides,mymother,notwithstandingthisparticularindulgence,isverypositive.Theyhaveprevaileduponher,Iknow,togiveherwordtothispurpose--Spiteful,poorwretches!HowIhateinparticularyourfoolishuncleAntony.

Iwouldnothaveyourthoughtdwellonthecontentsofyoursister'sshockingletter;butpursueothersubjects--thesubjectsbeforeyou.



AndletmeknowyourprogresswithLovelace,andwhathesaystothisdiabolicalcurse.Sofaryoumayenterintothishatefulsubject.Iexpectthatthiswillaptlyintroducethegranttopicbetweenyou,withoutneedingamediator.

Come,mydear,whenthingsareatworsttheywillmend.Goodoftencomeswhenevilisexpected.--Butifyoudespond,therecanbenohopesofcure.Don'tletthembreakyourheart;forthatisplaintome,isnowwhatsomepeoplehaveinviewforyoutodo.

Howpoortowithholdfromyouyourbooks,yourjewels,andyourmoney!Asmoneyisallyoucanatpresentwant,sincetheywillvouchsafetosendyourclothes,Isendfiftyguineasbythebearer,enclosedinsinglepapersinmyNorris'sMiscellanies.Ichargeyou,asyouloveme,returnthemnot.

Ihavemoreatyourservice.So,ifyoulikenotyourlodgingsorhisbehaviourwhenyougettotown,leaveboththemandhimoutofhand.

IwouldadviseyoutowritetoMr.Mordenwithoutdelay.IfheintendsforEngland,itmayhastenhim.Andyouwilldoverywelltillhecancome.But,surelyLovelacewillbeinfatuated,ifhesecurenothishappinessbyyourconsent,beforethatofMr.Morden'sismadeneedfulonhisarrival.

Oncemore,mydear,letmebegofyoutobecomforted.Managewithyourusualprudencethestakebeforeyou,andallwillstillbehappy.Supposeyourselftobeme,andmetobeyou,[youmay--foryourdistressismine,]andthenyouwilladdfulldaytothesebutglimmeringlightswhichareheldouttoyouby

YoureveraffectionateandfaithfulANNAHOWE.

IhurrythisawaybyRobert.Iwillinquireintothetruthofyouraunt'spretencesaboutthechangeofmeasureswhichshesaystheyintendedincaseyouhadnotgoneaway.

LETTERLVII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDNESDAYMORNING,APRIL26.

Yourletter,mybelovedMissHowe,givesmegreatcomfort.HowsweetlydoIexperiencethetruthofthewiseman'sobservation,Thatafaithfulfriendisthemedicineoflife!

YourmessengerfindsmejustsettingoutforLondon:thechaiseatthe

door.AlreadyIhavetakenleaveofthegoodwidow,whohasobligedmewiththecompanyofhereldestdaughter,atMr.Lovelace'srequest,whileheridesbyus.Theyounggentlewomanistoreturnintwoorthreedayswiththechaise,initswaytomyLordM.'sHertfordshireseat.

Ireceivedmysister'sdreadfulletteronSunday,whenMr.Lovelacewasout.Hesaw,onhisreturn,myextremeanguishanddejection;andhewastoldhowmuchworseIhadbeen:forIhadfaintedawaymorethanonce.

Ithinkthecontentsofithavetouchedmyheadaswellasmyheart.



Hewouldfainhaveseenit.ButIwouldnotpermitthat,becauseofthethreateningshewouldhavefoundinitagainsthimself.Asitwas,theeffectithaduponmemadehimbreakoutintoexecrationsandmenaces.IwassoillthathehimselfadvisedmetodelaygoingtotownonMonday,asIproposedtodo.

Heisextremelyregardfulandtenderofme.Allthatyousupposedwouldfollowtheviolentletter,fromhim,hasfollowedit.Hehasofferedhimselftomyacceptanceinsounreservedamanner,thatIamconcernedIhavewrittensofreelyanddiffidentlyofhim.Pray,mydearestfriend,keeptoyourselfeverythingthatmayappeardisreputableofhimfromme.

Imustacquaintyouthathiskindbehaviour,andmylow-spiritedness,co-operatingwithyourformeradvice,andmyunhappysituation,mademethatverySundayeveningreceiveunreservedlyhisdeclarations:andnowindeedIammoreinhispowerthanever.

Hepressesmeeveryhour(indeedasneedlessly,asunkindly)forfreshtokensofmyesteemforhim,andconfidenceinhim.AndasIhavebeenbroughttosomeverbalconcessions,ifheshouldproveunworthy,IamsureIshallhavegreatreasontoblamethisviolentletter:forIhavenoresolutionatall.Abandonedthusofallmynaturalfriends,ofwhose

returningfavourIhavenownohopes,andonlyyoutopityme,andyourestrained,asImaysay,IhavebeenforcedtoturnmydesolatehearttosuchprotectionasIcouldfind.

Allmycomfortis,thatyouradvicerepeatedlygivenmetothesamepurpose,inyourkindletterbeforeme,warrantsme.InowsetoutthemorecheerfullytoLondononthataccount:for,before,aheavyweighthunguponmyheart;andalthoughIthoughtitbestandsafesttogo,yetmyspiritssunk,Iknownotwhy,ateverymotionImadetowardsapreparationforit.

Ihopenomischiefwillhappenontheroad.--Ihopetheseviolentspiritswillnotmeet.

Everyoneiswaitingforme.--Pardonme,mybest,mykindestfriend,thatIreturnyourNorris.Inthesemorepromisingprospects,Icannothaveoccasionforyourfavour.Besides,IhavesomehopethatwithmyclothestheywillsendmethemoneyIwrotefor,althoughitisdeniedmeintheletter.Iftheydonot,andifIshouldhaveoccasion,Icanbutsignifymywantstosoreadyafriend.AndIhavepromisedtobeobligedonlytoyou.ButIhadrathermethinksyoushouldhaveitstilltosay,ifchallenged,thatnothingofthisnaturehasbeeneitherrequestedordone.Isaythiswithaviewentirelytomyfuturehopesofrecoveringyourmother'sfavour,which,nexttothatofmyownfatherandmother,Iammostsolicitoustorecover.

Imustacquaintyouwitonethingmore,notwithstandingmyhurry;andthatis,thatMr.LovelaceofferedeithertoattendmetoLordM.'s,ortosendforhischaplain,yesterday.Hepressedmetoconsenttothisproposalmostearnestly,andevenseemeddesirousrathertohavetheceremonypassherethanatLondon:forwhenthere,Ihadtoldhim,itwastimeenoughtoconsiderofsoweightyandimportantamatter.Now,uponthereceiptofyourkind,yourconsolatoryletter,methinksIcouldalmostwishithadbeeninmypowertocomplywithhisearnestsolicitations.Butthisdreadfulletterhasunhingedmywholeframe.Thensomelittlepunctiliosurelyisnecessary.Nopreparationmade.



Noarticlesdrawn.Nolicenseready.Griefsoextreme:nopleasureinprospect,norsomuchasinwish--Omydear,whocouldthinkofenteringintososolemnanengagement?Who,sounprepared,couldseemtobesoready?

IfIcouldflattermyselfthatmyindifferencetoallthejoysofthislifeproceededfrompropermotives,notratherfromthedisappointmentsandmortificationsmypridehasmetwith,howmuchrather,Ithink,shouldIchoosetobeweddedtomyshroudthantoanymanonearth!

IndeedIhaveatpresentnopleasurebutinyourfriendship.Continuethattome,Ibeseechyou.Ifmyheartriseshereaftertoacapacityofmore,itmustbebuiltonthatfoundation.

Myspiritssinkagainonsettingout.Excusethisdepthofvapourishdejection,whichforbidsmeevenhope,thecordialthatkeepslifefromstagnating,andwhichneverwasdeniedmetillwithintheseeight-and-fortyhours.

But'tistimetorelieveyou.

Adieu,mybestbelovedandkindestfriend!PrayforyourCLARISSA.

LETTERLVIII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAY,APRIL27.

IamsorryyousentbackmyNorris.Butyoumustbeallowedtodoasyouplease.SomustI,inmyturn.Wemustneitherofus,perhaps,expectabsolutelyoftheotherwhatistherightestthingtobedone:andyetfewfolks,soyoungasweare,betterknowwhattherightestis.Icannotseparatemyselffromyou;althoughIgiveadoubleinstanceofmyvanityinjoiningmyselfwithyouinthisparticularassertion.

Iammostheartilyrejoicedthatyourprospectsaresomuchmended;andthat,asIhoped,goodhasbeenproducedoutofevil.Whatmustthemanhavebeen,whatmusthavebeenhisviews,hadhenottakensuchaturn,uponalettersovile,anduponatreatmentsounnatural,himselfprincipallytheoccasionofit?

Youknowbestyourmotivesforsuspending:butIwishyoucouldhavetakenhimatofferssoearnest.*WhyshouldyounothavepermittedhimtosendforLordM.'schaplain?Ifpunctilioonlywasintheway,andwantofalicense,andofproperpreparations,andsuchlike,myservicetoyou,mydear:andthereisceremonytantamounttoyourceremony.

*Mr.Lovelace,inhisnextLetter,tellshisfriendhowextremelyilltheLadywas,recoveringfromfitstofallintostrongerfits,andnobodyexpectingherlife.Shehadnot,hesays,acquaintedMissHowehowveryillshewas.--InthenextLetter,shetellsMissHowe,thathermotivesforsuspendingwerenotmerelyceremoniousones.

Donot,donot,mydearfriend,againbesoverymelancholyadeclinerastopreferashroud,whenthematteryouwishforisinyourpower;



andwhen,asyouhavejustlysaidheretofore,personscannotdiewhentheywill.

Butitisastrangeperversenessinhumannaturethatweslightthatwhennearuswhichatadistancewewishfor.

Youhavenowbutonepointtopursue:thatismarriage:letthatbesolemnized.LeavetheresttoProvidence,and,touseyourownwordsinaformerletter,followasthatleads.Youwillhaveahandsomeman,agenteelman;hewouldbeawiseman,ifhewerenotvainofhisendowments,andwildandintriguing:butwhiletheeyesofmanyofoursex,takenbysospeciousaformandsobrilliantaspirit,encouragethatvanity,youmustbecontentedtostaytillgreyhairsandprudenceenteruponthestagetogether.Youwouldnothaveeverythinginthesameman.

IbelieveMr.Hickmantreadsnocrookedpaths;buthehobblesmostungracefullyinastraightone.YetMr.Hickman,thoughhepleasesnotmyeye,nordivertsmyear,willnot,asIbelieve,disgusttheone,norshocktheother.Yourman,asIhavelatelysaid,willalwayskeepupattention;youwillalwaysbealivewithhim,thoughperhapsmorefromfearsthanhopes:whileMr.Hickmanwillneithersayanythingtokeeponeawake,noryet,byshockingadventures,makeone'sslumbersuneasy.

IbelieveInowknowwhichofthetwomensoprudentapersonasyouwould,atfirst,havechosen;nordoubtIthatyoucanguesswhichIwouldhavemadechoiceof,ifImight.Butproudasweare,theproudestofusallcanonlyrefuse,andmanyofusacceptthebuthalf-worthy,forfearastillworseshouldoffer.

Ifmenhadchosentheirmistressesforspiritsliketheirown,althoughMr.Lovelace,atthelongrun,mayhavebeentoomanyforme,Idon'tdoubtbutIshouldhavegivenheart-achforheart-ach,foronehalf-yearatleast;whileyou,withmydull-swift,wouldhaveglidedonasserenely,ascalmly,asunaccountably,asthesucceedingseasons;andvaryingnootherwisethanthey,tobringonnewbeautiesandconvenienciestoallaboutyou.

*****

Iwasgoingoninthisstyle--butmymotherbrokeinuponmewithaprohibitoryaspect.'Shegavemeleaveforoneletteronly.'--Shehadjustpartedwithyourodiousuncle,andtheyhavebeenincloseconferenceagain.

Shehasvexedme.ImustlaythisbytillIhearfromyouagain,notknowingwhithertosendit.

Directmetoathirdplace,asIdesiredinmyformer.

Itoldmymother(onherchallengingme)thatIwaswritingindeed,andtoyou:butitwasonlytoamusemyself;forIprotestedthatIknewnotwheretosendtoyou.

Ihopethatyournextmayinformmeofyournuptials,althoughthenexttothatweretoacquaintmethathewasthemostungratefullestmonsteronearth;ashemustbe,ifnotthekindesthusbandinit.



Mymotherhasvexedme.Butso,onrevising,Iwrotebefore.--Butshehasunhingedme,asyoucallit:pretendedtocatechiseHickman,Iassureyou,forcontributingtooursupposedcorrespondence.Catechisedhimseverelytoo,uponmyword!--IbelieveIhaveasneakingkindnessforthesneakingfellow,forIcannotendurethatanybodyshouldtreathimlikeafoolbutmyself.

Ibelieve,betweenyouandme,thegoodladyforgotherself.Iheardherloud.Shepossiblyimaginedthatmyfatherwascometolifeagain.Yetthemeeknessofthemanmighthavesoonconvincedher,Ishouldhavethought;formyfather,itseems,wouldtalkasloudasshe,Isuppose,(thoughwithinafewyardsofeachother,)asifbothwereoutoftheirway,andwerehallooingathalfamile'sdistance,togetinagain.

Iknowyou'llblamemeforthissauciness--butItoldyouIwasvexed;andifIhadnotaspirit,myparentageonbothsidesmightbedoubted.

Youmustnotchidemetooseverely,however,becauseIhavelearnedofyounottodefendmyselfinanerror:andIownIamwrong:andthat'senough:youwon'tbesogenerousinthiscaseasyouareineveryother,ifyoudon'tthinkitis.

Adieu,mydear!Imust,Iwillloveyou,andloveyouforever!Sosubscribesyour

ANNAHOWE.

LETTERLIX

FROMMISSHOWE[ENCLOSEDINTHEABOVE.]THURSDAY,APRIL27.

Ihavebeenmakinginquiry,asItoldyouIwould,whetheryourrelationshadreally(beforeyouleftthem)resolveduponthatchangeof

measureswhichyourauntmentionsinherletter;andbylayingtogetherseveralpiecesofintelligence,somedrawnfrommymother,throughyouruncleAntony'scommunications;somefromMissLloyd,byyoursister's;andsomebyathirdwaythatIshallnottellyouof;Ihavereasontothinkthefollowingatruestateofthecase.

'Thattherewasnointentionofachangeofmeasurestillwithintwoorthreedaysofyourgoingaway.Onthecontrary,yourbrotherandsister,thoughtheyhadnohopeofprevailingwithyouinSolmes'sfavour,wereresolvednevertogiveovertheirpersecutionstilltheyhadpushedyouupontakingsomestep,which,byhelpoftheirgoodoffices,shouldbedeemedinexcusablebythehalf-wittedsoulstheyhadtoplayupon.

'Butthat,atlast,yourmother(tiredwith,and,perhaps,ashamedofthepassivepartshehadacted)thoughtfittodeclaretoMissBell,thatshewasdeterminedtotrytoputanendtothefamilyfeuds,andtogetyouruncleHarlowetosecondherendeavours.

'Thisalarmedyourbrotherandsister,andthenachangeofmeasureswasresolvedupon.Solmes'sofferswere,however,tooadvantageoustobegivenup;andyourfather'scondescensionwasnowtobetheirsoledependence,and(astheygiveitout)thetryingofwhatthatwoulddowithyou,theirlasteffort.'



Andindeed,mydear,thismusthavesucceeded,Iverilythink,withsuchadaughterastheyhadtodealwith,couldthatfather,whonever,Idaresay,kneeledinhislifebuttohisGod,havesofarcondescendedasyourauntwriteshewould.

Butthen,mydear,whatwouldthishavedone?--PerhapsyouwouldhavegivenLovelacethismeeting,inhopestopacifyhim,andpreventmischief;supposingthattheyhadgivenyoutime,andnothurriedyoudirectlyintothestate.Butifyouhadnotmethim,youseethathewasresolvedtovisitthem,andwellattendedtoo:andwhatmusthavebeentheconsequence?

Sothat,uponthewhole,weknownotbutmattersmaybebestastheyare,howeverdisagreeablethatbestis.

Ihopeyourconsiderateandthoughtfulmindwillmakeagooduseofthishint.Whowouldnotwithpatiencesustainevenagreatevil,ifshecouldpersuadeherselfthatitwaskindlydispensed,inordertopreventastillgreater?--Especially,ifshecouldsitdown,asyoucan,andacquitherownheart?

Permitmeonefurtherobservation--Dowenotsee,fromtheabovestateofthematter,whatmighthavebeendonebeforebytheworthyperson

ofyourfamily,hadsheexertedthemother,inbehalfofachildsomeritorious,yetsomuchoppressed?

Adieu,mydear.Iwillbeeveryours.ANNAHOWE.

*****

[Clarissa,inheranswertothefirstofthetwolastletters,chidesherfriendforgivingsolittleweighttoheradvice,inrelationtoherbehaviourtohermother.Itmaybepropertoinsertherethefollowingextractsfromthatanswer,thoughalittlebeforethetime.]

Youassume,mydear,saysshe,yourusualandever-agreeablestyleinwhatyouwriteofthetwogentlemen,*andhowunaptlyyouthinktheyhavechosen;Mr.Hickmaninaddressingyou,Mr.Lovelaceme.ButIaminclinabletobelievethat,withaviewtohappiness,howevertwomildtempersmightagree,twohighoneswouldmakesadworkofit,bothatonetimeviolentandunyielding.Youtwomight,indeed,haveraquetedtheballbetwixtyou,asyousay.**ButMr.Hickman,byhisgentlemanners,seemsformedforyou,ifyougonottoofarwithhim.Ifyoudo,itwouldbeatamenessinhimtobearit,whichwouldmakeamanmorecontemptiblethanMr.Hickmancaneverdeservetobemade.Norisitadisgraceforevenabraveman,whoknowswhatawomanistovowtohimafterwards,tobeveryobsequiousbeforehand.

*SeeLetterXXXV.andLetterXXXVI.ofthisvolume.**SeeLetterXXXVI.ofthisvolume.

DoyouthinkitistothecreditofMr.Lovelace'scharacterthathecanbeoffensiveandviolent?--Doeshenot,asallsuchspiritsmust,subjecthimselftothenecessityofmakingsubmissionsforhisexcessesfarmoremortifyingtoaproudhearthanthosecondescensionswhichthe



high-spiritedaresoapttoimputeasaweaknessofmindinsuchamanasMr.Hickman?

Letmetellyou,mydear,thatMr.Hickmanissuchaoneaswouldratherbearanaffrontfromalady,thanofferonetoher.Hehadrather,Idaresay,thatsheshouldhaveoccasiontoaskhispardonthanheher's.Butmydear,youhaveoutlivedyourfirstpassion;andhadthesecondmanbeenanangel,hewouldnothavebeenmorethanindifferenttoyou.

Mymotivesforsuspending,proceedsshe,werenotmerelyceremoniousones.Iwasreallyveryill.Icouldnotholdupmyhead.Thecontentsofmysister'slettershadpiercedmyheart.Indeed,mydear,Iwasveryill.AndwasI,moreover,tobeasreadytoaccepthisofferasifIwereafraidheneverwouldrepeatit?

Iseewithgreatregretthatyourmammaisstillimmovablybentagainstourcorrespondence.WhatshallIdoaboutit?--Itgoesagainstmetocontinueit,ortowishyoutofavourmewithreturns.--YetIhavesomanagedmymattersthatIhavenofriendbutyoutoadvisewith.Itisenoughtomakeoneindeedwishtobemarriedtothisman,thoughamanoferrors,ashehasworthyrelationsofmyownsex;andIshouldhavesomefriends,Ihope:--andhavingsome,Imighthavemore--forasmoneyissaidtoincreasemoney,sodoesthecountenanceofpersonsofcharacterincreasefriends:whilethedestitutemustbedestitute.--It

goesagainstmyhearttobegofyourtodiscontinuecorrespondingwithme;andyetitisagainstmyconsciencetocarryitonagainstparentalprohibition.ButIdarenotusealltheargumentsagainstitthatIcoulduse--Andwhy?--ForfearIshouldconvinceyou;andyoushouldrejectmeastherestofmyfriendshavedone.Ileavethereforethedeterminationofthispointuponyou.--Iamnot,Ifind,tobetrustedwithit.Butbemineallthefault,andallthepunishment,ifitbepunishable!--Andcertainlyitmust,whenitcanbethecauseoftheletterIhavebeforeme,andwhichImustnofartheranimadvertupon,becauseyouforbidmetodoso.

[Tothesecondletter,amongotherthings,shesays,]

So,mydear,youseemtothinkthattherewasafateinmyerror.Thecordial,theconsideratefriendshipisseenintheobservationyoumakeonthisoccasion.Yetsincethingshavehappenedastheyhave,wouldtoHeavenIcouldhearthatalltheworldacquittedmyfather,or,atleast,mymother!whosecharacter,beforethesefamilyfeudsbrokeout,wasthesubjectofeveryone'sadmiration.Don'tletanybodysayfromyou,sothatitmaycometoherear,thatshemight,fromatimelyexertionofherfinetalents,havesavedherunhappychild.Youwillobserve,mydear,thatinherowngoodtime,whenshesawtherewasnotlikelytobeanendtomybrother'spersecutions,sheresolvedtoexertherself.Butthepragmaticaldaughter,bythefatalmeeting,precipitatedall,andfrustratedherindulgentdesigns.Omylove,Iam

nowconvinced,bydearexperience,thatwhilechildrenaresohappyastohaveparentsorguardianswhomtheymayconsult,theyshouldnotpresume(no,notwiththebestandpurestintentions)tofollowtheirownconceitsinmaterialcases.

Arayofhopeoffuturereconciliationdartsinuponmymind,fromtheintentionyoutellmemymotherhadtoexertherselfinmyfavour,hadInotgoneaway.Andmyhopeisthestronger,asthiscommunicationpointsouttomethatmyuncleHarlowe'sinterestislikely,inmymother'sopinion,tobeofweight,ifitcouldbeengaged.Itwillbehoveme,



perhaps,toapplytothatdearuncle,ifaproperoccasionoffer.

LETTERLX

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MONDAY,APRIL24.

Fateisweavingawhimsicalwebforthyfriend;andIseenotbutIshallbeinevitablymanacled.

HerehaveIbeenatwork,dig,dig,dig,likeacunningminer,atonetime,andspreadingmysnares,likeanartfulfowler,atanother,andexultinginmycontrivancestogetthisinimitablecreature,absolutelyintomypower.Everythingmadeforme.Herbrotheranduncleswerebutmypioneers:herfatherstormedasIdirectedhimtostorm:Mrs.HowewasactedbythespringsIsetatwork;herdaughterwasmovingforme,yetimaginedherselfplumbagainstme:andthedearcreatureherselfhadalreadyrunherstubbornneckintomygin,andknewnotthatshewascaught,forIhadnotdrawnmysprindgescloseabouther--Andjustasallthiswascompleted,wouldstthoubelieve,thatIshouldbemyownenemy,andherfriend?ThatIshouldbesototallydivertedfromallmy

favouritepurposes,astoproposetomarryherbeforeIwenttotown,inordertoputitoutofmyownpowertoresumethem.

Whenthouknowestthis,wiltthounotthinkthatmyblackangelplaysmebooty,andhastakenitintohisheadtourgemeontotheindissolubletie,thathemightbemoresureofme(fromthecomplextransgressionstowhichhewillcertainlystimulateme,whenwedded)thanperhapshethoughthecouldbefromthesimplesins,inwhichIhavesolongallowedmyself,thattheyseemtohavethepleaofhabit?

Thouwiltbestillthemoresurprised,whenItellthee,thatthereseemstobeacoalitiongoingforwardbetweentheblackangelsandthewhiteones;forherehasher'sinducedher,inonehour,andbyone

retrogradeaccident,toacknowledgewhatthecharmingcreatureneverbeforeacknowledged,apreferablefavourforme.Sheevenavowsanintentiontobemine.--Mine!withoutreformation-conditions!--Shepermitsmetotalkoflovetoher!--oftheirrevocableceremony!--Yet,anotherextraordinary!postponesthatceremony;choosestosetoutforLondon;andeventogotothewidow'sintown.

Well,buthowcomesallthisabout?methinksthouaskest.--Thou,Lovelace,dealestinwonders,yetaimestnotatthemarvellous!--Howdidallthiscomeabout?

Iwilltellthee--Iwasindangeroflosingmycharmerforever!Shewassoaringupwardtohernativeskies!Shewasgotaboveearth,bymeans

too,oftheearth-born!Andsomethingextraordinarywastobedonetokeepherwithussublunaries.AndwhatsoeffectuallyasthesoothingvoiceofLove,andtheattractingofferofmatrimonyfromamannothated,canfixtheattentionofthemaidenheart,achingwithuncertainty,andbeforeimpatientofthequestionablequestion?

This,inshort,wasthecase:whileshewasrefusingallmannerofobligationtome,keepingmeathaughtydistance,inhopesthathercousinMorden'sarrivalwouldsoonfixherinafullandabsoluteindependenceofme--disgusted,likewise,atheradorer,forholding



himselfthereinsofhisownpassions,insteadofgivingthemuptohercontroul--shewritesaletter,urgingananswertoaletterbeforesent,forherapparel,herjewels,andsomegold,whichshehadleftbehindher;allwhichwastosaveherpridefromobligation,andtopromotetheindependenceherheartwassetupon.Andwhatfollowedbutashockinganswer,madestillmoreshockingbythecommunicationofafather'scurse,uponadaughterdeservingonlyblessings?--Acurseuponthecurser'sheart,andadoubleoneuponthetransmitter's,thespitefultheenviousArabella!

Absentwhenitcame--onmyreturnIfoundherrecoveringfromfits,againtofallintostrongerfits;andnobodyexpectingherlife;halfadozenmessengersdispatchedtofindmeout.Norwonderatherbeingsoaffected;she,whosefilialpietygaveherdreadfulfaithinafather'scurses;andthecurseofthisgloomytyrantextending(touseherownwords,whenshecouldspeak)tobothworlds--Othatithadturned,inthemomentofitsutterance,toamortalquinsy,and,stickinginhisgullet,hadchokedtheoldexecrator,asawarningtoallsuchunnaturalfathers!

WhatamiscreanthadIbeen,nottohaveendeavouredtobringherback,byalltheendearments,byallthevows,byalltheoffers,thatIcouldmakeher!

Ididbringherback.Morethanafathertoher:forIhavegivenheralifeherunnaturalfatherhadwell-nightakenaway:ShallInotcherishthefruitsofmyownbenefaction?Iwasearnestinmyvowstomarry,andmyardourtourgethepresenttimewasarealardour.Butextremedejection,withamingleddelicacy,thatinherdyingmomentsIdoubtnotshewillpreserve,havecausedhertorefusemethetime,thoughnotthesolemnity;forshehastoldme,thatnowshemustbewhollyinmyprotection[beingdestituteofeveryother!]Moreindebted,still,thyfriend,asthouseest,tohercruelrelations,thantoherself,forherfavour!

ShehaswrittentoMissHoweanaccountoftheirbarbarity!buthasnotacquaintedherhowveryillshewas.

Low,verylow,sheremains;yet,dreadingherstupidbrother'senterprise,shewantstobeinLondon,where,butforthisaccident,and(wouldstthouhavebelievedit?)formypersuasions,seeinghersoveryill,shewouldhavebeenthisnight;andweshallactuallysetoutonWednesdaymorning,ifshebenotworse.

Andnowforafewwordswiththee,ontheheavypreachmentofSaturdaylast.

Thouartapprehensive,thattheladyisnowtrulyindanger;anditisamiracle,thoutellestme,ifshewithstandsuchanattempter!--'Knowingwhatweknowofthesex,thousayest,thoushouldstdread,wertthou

me,tomakefurthertrial,lestthoushouldstsucceed.'And,inanotherplace,tellestme,'Thatthoupleadestnotforthestateforanyfavourthouhastforit.'

Whatanadvocateartthouformatrimony--!

Thouwerteveranunhappyfellowatargument.Doesthetritestuffwithwhichtherestofthyletterabounds,infavourofwedlock,strikewiththeforcethatthiswhichIhavetranscribeddoesagainstit?



Thoutakestgreatpainstoconvinceme,andthatfromthedistressestheladyisreducedto(chieflybyherfriend'spersecutionsandimplacableness,Ihopethouwiltown,andnotfromme,asyet)thattheproposedtrialwillnotbeafairtrial.Butletmeaskthee,Isnotcalamitythetestofvirtue?Andwouldstthounothavemevaluethischarmingcreatureuponproofofhermerits?--DoInotintendtorewardherbymarriage,ifshestandthatproof?

ButwhyrepeatIwhatIhavesaidbefore?--Turnback,thouegregiousarguer,turnbacktomylongletterofthe13th,*andthouwilttherefindeverysyllableofwhatthouhastwritteneitheransweredorinvalidated.

*SeeLetterXVIII.ofthisvolume.

ButIamnotangrywiththee,Jack.Iloveopposition.Asgoldistriedbyfire,andvirtuebytemptation,soissterlingwitbyopposition.HaveInot,beforethousettestoutasanadvocateformyfair-one,oftenbroughttheein,asmakingobjectionstomyproceedings,fornootherreasonthantoexaltmyselfbyprovingtheeamanofstraw?AsHomerraisesupmanyofhischampions,andgivesthemterriblenames,onlytohavethemknockedontheheadbyhisheroes.

However,taketotheethisonepieceofadvice--Evermorebesureofbeingintheright,whenthoupresumesttositdowntocorrectthymaster.

Andanother,ifthouwilt--Neveroffertoinvalidatetheforcewhichavirtuouseducationoughttohaveinthesex,byendeavouringtofindexcusesfortheirfrailtyfromthefrailtyofours.For,arewenotdevilstoeachother?--Theytemptus--wetemptthem.Becausewemencannotresisttemptation,isthatareasonthatwomenoughtnot,whenthewholeoftheireducationiscautionandwarningagainstourattempts?Donottheirgrandmothersgivethemoneeasyrule--Menaretoask--Womenaretodeny?

Well,buttoreturntomyprincipalsubject;letmeobserve,that,bemyfutureresolutionswhattheywill,astothislady,thecontentsoftheviolentlettershehasreceivedhavesetmeatleastamonthforwardwithher.Icannow,asIhinted,talkofloveandmarriage,withoutcontroulorrestriction;herinjunctionsnomoremyterror.

InthissweetlyfamiliarwayshallwesetouttogetherforLondon.Mrs.Sorlings'seldestdaughter,atmymotion,istoattendherinthechaise,whileIridebywayofescort:forsheisextremelyapprehensiveoftheSingletonplot;andhasengagedmetobeallpatience,ifanythingshouldhappenontheroad.ButnothingIamsurewillhappen:for,byaletterreceivedjustnowfromJoseph,Iunderstand,that

JamesHarlowehasalreadylaidasidehisstupidproject:andthisbytheearnestdesireofallthoseofhisfriendstowhomhehadcommunicatedit;whowereafraidoftheconsequencesthatmightattendit.Butitisnotoverwithme,however;althoughIamnotdeterminedatpresentastotheusesImaymakeofit.

Mybelovedtellsme,sheshallhaveherclothessenther.Shehopesalsoherjewels,andsomegold,whichsheleftbehindher:butJosephsays,clothesonlywillbesent.Iwillnot,however,tellherthat:onthecontrary,Isay,thereisnodoubtbuttheywillsendallshewrote



for.Thegreaterherdisappointmentfromthem,thegreatermustbeherdependenceonme.

But,afterall,IhopeIshallbeenabledtobehonesttoameritsotranscendent.Thedeviltakethee,though,forthyopinion,givensomal-a-propos,thatshemaybeovercome.

Ifthoudesignesttobehonest,methinkstthousayest,WhyshouldnotSingleton'splotbeoverwiththee,asitiswithherbrother?

Because(ifImustanswerthee)wherepeoplearesomodestlydoubtfulofwhattheyareabletodo,itisgoodtoleavealoop-hole.And,letmeadd,thatwhenaman'sheartissetuponapoint,andanythingoccurstobeathimoff,hewillfinditverydifficult,whenthesuspendingreasonceases,toforbearresumingit.

LETTERLXI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAY,APRIL25.

AllhandsatworkinpreparationforLondon.--Whatmakesmyheartbeatsostrong?Whyrisesittomythroatinsuchhalf-chokingflutters,whenIthinkofwhatthisremovalmaydoforme?Iamhithertoresolvedtobehonest,andthatincreasesmywonderattheseinvoluntarycommotions.'Tisaplottingvillainofaheart:iteverwas--andeverwillbe,Idoubt.Suchajoywhenanyrogueryisgoingforward!--Isolittleitsmaster!--Ahead,likewise,sowellturnedtoanswerthetriangularvarlet'simpulses!--Nomatter--Iwillhaveonestrugglewiththee,oldfriend;andifIcannotovercometheenow,Ineverwillagainattempttoconquerthee.

Thedearcreaturecontinuesextremelylowanddejected.Tenderblossom!howunfittocontendwiththerudeandrufflingwindsofpassion,and

haughtyandinsolentcontrol!--Nevertillnowfromunderthewing(itisnotenoughtosayofindulging,but)ofadmiringparents;themother'sbosomonlyfittoreceivethischarmingflower!

Thiswasthereflection,that,withmingledcompassion,andaugmentedlove,arosetomymind,whenIbeheldthecharmerreposingherlovelyfaceuponthebosomofthewidowSorlings,fromarecoveredfit,asIenteredsoonaftershehadreceivedherexecrablesister'sletter.Howlovelyinhertears!--AndasIentered,herupliftedfacesignificantlybespeakingmyprotection,asIthought.AndcanIbeavillaintosuchanangel!--Ihopenot--Butwhy,Belford,why,oncemore,puttestthoumeinmind,thatshemaybeovercome?Andwhyisherownrelianceonmyhonoursolateandsoreluctantlyshown?

But,afterall,solow,sodejected,continuesshetobe,thatIamterriblyafraidIshallhaveavapourishwife,ifIdomarry.Ishouldthenbedoublyundone.NotthatIshallbemuchathomewithher,perhaps,afterthefirstfortnight,orso.Butwhenamanhasbeenranging,likethepainfulbee,fromflowertoflower,perhapsforamonthtogether,andthethoughtsofhomeandawifebegintohavetheircharmswithhim,tobereceivedbyaNiobe,who,likeawoundedvine,weepshervitalsaway,whileshebutinvoluntarycurlsabouthim;howshallIbeabletobearthat?



MayHeavenrestoremycharmertohealthandspirits,Ihourlypray--thatamanmayseewhethershecanloveanybodybutherfatherandmother!Intheirpower,Iamconfident,itwillbe,atanytime,tomakeherhusbandjoyless;andthat,asIhatethemsoheartily,isashockingthingtoreflectupon.--Somethingmorethanwoman,anangel,insomethings;butababyinothers:sofather-sick!sofamily-fond!--Whatapoorchancestandsahusbandwithsuchawife!unless,forsooth,theyvouchsafetobereconciledtoher,andcontinuereconciled!

Itisinfinitelybetterforherandformethatweshouldnotmarry.Whatadelightfulmanneroflife[OthatIcouldpersuadehertoit!]wouldthelifeofhonourbewithsuchawoman!Thefears,theinquietudes,theuneasydays,therestlessnights;allarisingfromdoubtsofhavingdisobligedme!Everyabsencedreadedtobeanabsenceforever!Andthenhowamplyrewarded,andrewarding,bytherapture-causingreturn!Suchapassionasthiskeepsloveinacontinualfervour--makesitallalive.Thehappypair,insteadofsittingdozingandnoddingateachother,inoppositechimney-corners,inawinterevening,andoverawintrylove,alwaysnewtoeachother,andhavingalwayssomethingtosay.

Thouknowest,inmyversestomyStella,mymindonthisoccasion.Iwilllaythoseversesinherway,asifundesignedly,whenweare

togetheratthewidow's;thatistosay,ifwedonotsoongotochurchbyconsent.Shewillthenceseewhatmynotionsareofwedlock.Ifshereceivesthemwithanysortoftemper,thatwillbeafoundation--andletmealonetobuilduponit.

Manyagirlhasbeencarried,whoneverwouldhavebeenattempted,hadsheshowedaproperresentment,whenherears,orhereyeswerefirstinvaded.Ihavetriedayoungcreaturebyabadbook,alightquotation,oranindecentpicture;andifshehasbornethat,oronlyblushed,andnotbeenangry;andmoreespeciallyifshehasleeredandsmiled;thatgirlhaveI,andoldSatan,putdownforourown.OhowIcouldwarntheselittlerogues,ifIwould!Perhapsenvy,morethanvirtue,willputmeuponsettingupbeaconsforthem,whenIgrowoldandjoyless.

TUESDAYAFTERNOON.

IfyouareinLondonwhenIgetthither,youwillseemesoon.Mycharmerisalittlebetterthanshewas:hereyesshowit;andherharmoniousvoice,hardlyaudiblelasttimeIsawher,nowbeginstocheermyheartoncemore.Butyetshehasnolove--nosensibility!Thereisnoaddressingherwiththosemeaning,yetinnocentfreedoms(innocent,atfirstsettingout,theymaybecalled)whichsoftenothersofhersex.Themorestrangethis,asshenowacknowledgespreferablefavourforme;andishighlysusceptibleofgrief.Griefmollifies,andenervates.Thegrievedmindlooksroundit,silentlyimplores

consolation,andlovesthesoother.Griefiseveraninmatewithjoy.Thoughtheywon'tshowthemselvesatthesamewindowatonetime;yettheyhavethewholehouseincommonbetweenthem.

LETTERLXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.WEDN.APRIL26.



Atlastmyluckystarhasdirectedusintothedesiredport,andwearesafelylanded.--WellsaysRowe:--

Thewiseandactiveconquerdifficulties,Bydaringtoattemptthem.SlothandfollyShiverandshrinkatsightoftoilandhazard,Andmaketh'impossibilitytheyfear.

Butinthemidstofmyexultation,something,Iknownotwhattocallit,checksmyjoys,andgloomsovermybrighterprospects:ifitbenotconscience,itiswondrouslylikewhatIthoughtso,many,manyyearsago.

Surely,Lovelace,methinksthousayest,thygoodmotionsarenotgoneoffalready!Surelythouwiltnotnowatlastbeavillaintothislady!

Ican'ttellwhattosaytoit.Whywouldnotthedearcreatureacceptofme,whenIsosincerelyofferedmyselftoheracceptance?ThingsalreadyappearwithaverydifferentfacenowIhavegotherhere.Alreadyhaveourmotherandherdaughtersbeenaboutme:--'Charminglady!Whatacomplexion!Whateyes!Whatmajestyinherperson!--OMr.Lovelace,youareahappyman!Youoweussuchalady!'--Thenthey

remindmeofmyrevenge,andofmyhatredtoherwholefamily.

Sallywassostruckwithher,atfirstsight,thatshebrokeouttomeintheselinesofDryden:--

----FairertobeseenThanthefairlilyontheflow'rygreen!MorefreshthanMayherselfinblossomsnew!

Isenttothylodgingswithinhalfanhourafterourarrival,toreceivethycongratulationuponit,butthouwertatEdgeware,itseems.

Mybeloved,whoischarminglyamended,isretiredtoherconstant

employment,writing.Imustcontentmyselfwiththesameamusement,tillsheshallbepleasedtoadmitmetoherpresence:foralreadyhaveIgiventoeveryonehercue.

And,amongtherest,whodostthouthinkistobehermaidservant?--Deb.Butler.

Ah,Lovelace!

AndAh,Belford!--Itcan'tbeotherwise.ButwhatdostthinkDeb'snameistobe?Why,Dorcas,DorcasWykes.Andwon'titbeadmirable,if,eitherthroughfear,fright,orgoodliking,wecangetmybelovedtoacceptofDorcasWykesforabed-fellow?

Insomanywayswillitbenowinmypowertohavethedearcreature,thatIshallnotknowwhichofthemtochoose!

ButherecomesthewidowwithDorcasWykesinherhand,andIamtointroducethembothtomyfair-one?

*****



So,thehonestgirlisaccepted--ofgoodparentage--but,throughaneglectededucation,plaguyilliterate:shecanneitherwrite,norreadwriting.AkinswomanofMrs.Sinclair--couldnotthereforewellberefused,thewidowinpersonrecommendingher;andthewenchonlytakentillherHannahcancome.Whatanadvantagehasanimposingorforwardnatureoveracourteousone!Soheremaysomethingarisetoleadintocorrespondencies,andsoforth.Tobesureapersonneednotbesowary,socautiousofwhatshewrites,orwhatsheleavesuponhertable,ortoilette,whenherattendantcannotread.

Itwouldbeamiracle,asthousayest,ifthisladycansaveherself--Andhavinggonesofar,howcanIrecede?ThenmyrevengeupontheHarlowes!--Tohaverunawaywithadaughteroftheirs,tomakeheraLovelace--tomakeheroneofafamilysosuperiortoherown--whatatriumph,asIhaveheretoforeobserved,*tothem!Buttorunawaywithher,andtobringhertomylureintheotherlight,whatamortificationoftheirpride!Whatagratificationofmyown!

Thenthesewomenarecontinuallyatme.Thesewomen,who,beforemywholesoulandfacultieswereabsorbedintheloveofthissinglecharmer,usedalwaystoobligemewiththeflowerandfirstfruitsoftheirgarden!Indeed,indeed,mygoddessshouldnothavechosenthisLondonwidow's!ButIdaresay,ifIhad,shewouldnot.Peoplewhowill

bedealingincontradictionoughttopayforit.Andtobepunishedbytheconsequencesofourownchoice--whatamoralliesthere!--WhatadealofgoodmayInotbetheoccasionoffromalittleevil!

Dorcasisaneatcreature,bothinpersonanddress;hercontinuancenotvulgar.AndIaminhopes,asIhintedabove,thatherladywillacceptofherforherbedfellow,inastrangehouse,foraweekorso.ButIsawshehadadisliketoheratherveryfirstappearance;yetIthoughtthegirlbehavedverymodestly--over-diditalittleperhaps.Herladyshipshrunkback,andlookedshyuponher.Thedoctrineofsympathiesandantipathiesisasurprisingdoctrine.ButDorcaswillbeexcessivelyobliging,andwinherlady'sfavoursoon,Idoubtnot.Iamsecureinoneofthewench'squalitieshowever--sheisnottobe

corrupted.Agreatpointthat!sincealadyandhermaid,whenheartilyofoneparty,willbetoohardforhalfascoredevils.

Thedearcreaturewasnolessshywhenthewidowfirstaccostedheratheralighting.YetIthoughtthathonestDoleman'sletterhadpreparedherforhermasculineappearance.

AndnowImentionthatletter,whydostthounotwishmejoy,Jack?

Joy,ofwhat?

Why,joyofmynuptials.Knowthen,thatsaid,isdone,withme,whenIhaveamindtohaveitso;andthatweareactuallymanandwife!only

thatconsummationhasnotpassed:bounddowntothecontraryofthat,byasolemnvow,tillareconciliationwithherfamilytakeplace.Thewomenherearetoldso.Theyknowitbeforemybelovedknowsit;andthat,thouwiltsay,isodd.

ButhowshallIdotomakemyfair-onekeephertemperontheintimation?Why,isshenothere?AtMrs.Sinclair's?--Butifshewillhearreason,Idoubtnottoconvinceher,thatsheoughttoacquiesce.

Shewillinsist,Isuppose,uponmyleavingher,andthatIshallnot



takeupmylodgingsunderthesameroof.ButcircumstancesarechangedsinceIfirstmadeherthatpromise.Ihavetakenallthevacantapartments;andmustcarrythispointalso.

Ihopeinawhiletogetherwithmetothepublicentertainments.Sheknowsnothingofthetown,andhasseenlessofitsdiversionsthaneverwomanofhertaste,herfortune,herendowments,didsee.Shehas,indeed,anaturalpoliteness,whichtranscendsallacquirement.ThemostcapableofanyoneIeverknewofjudgingwhatanhundredthingsare,byseeingoneofalikenature.Indeedshetooksomuchpleasureinherownchosenamusements,tillpersecutedoutofthem,thatshehadneitherleisurenorinclinationforthetowndiversions.

Thesediversionswillamuse,andthedeuceisinit,ifalittlesusceptibilitywillnotputforth,nowshereceivesmyaddress;especiallyifIcanmanageitsoastobeallowedtoliveunderoneroofwithher.Whatthoughthesensibilitybeatfirstfaintandreluctant,liketheappearanceofanearlyspring-flowerinfrostywinter,whichseemsafraidofbeingniptbyaneasterlyblast!Thatwillbeenoughforme.

Ihintedtotheeinaformer,*thatIhadprovidedbooksforthelady'sin-dooramusement.SallyandPollyarereaders.Mybeloved'slightclosetwastheirlibrary.Andseveralpiecesofdevotionhavebeenput

in,boughtonpurposeatsecond-hand.

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