Vol. 12, No. 9

the free pressSEPTEMBER 2012 | VOLUME 12, NO. 9 WWW.SECONDSUPPER.COM

A D i g e s t o f C o u l e e R e g i o n C u l t u r e

THE PLANNER [P.10] | BEER REVIEW [P.14] | THE ADVICE GODDESS [P.16]

Gemütlichkeit! [Geh-MOOT-lick-kite]

Prost!

Willkommen zum Oktoberfest!

2// Sept. 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressFIRST THINGS FIRST

Social NetworkingNAME AND AGE: Rachel Korb, 26

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Minnesota

CURRENT JOB: UW-L Graduate Assistant

DREAM JOB: Study Abroad Program Director/Lec-turer

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Rice Kheer

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Sevilla, Spain

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Learn at least six languages

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Kombucha or Chai

CELEBRITY CRUSH: Javier Bardem

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? People's using translator in place of interpretor.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? "Acoso"

TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: I can't say I feel guilty about any of them.

TELL US A JOKE: Tume pata hai? Mourgi ka gand!

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? The power to speak every language in the world.

WHAT ONE PERSON ALIVE OR DEAD WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH? Dave Matthews or Maria Carmen

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Dave & Friends

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? An Angry Orchard Cider

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Nada.

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson,[email protected]

www.katespizzaamore.com

www.katesonstate.com

Back by popular demand. For those of you missing

her, Kate will be back in the kitchen the first and third

Fridays of the month. Make your reservations early, we’re

sure to be booked.Voted La Crosse’s best

fine dinning.

Join us for Oktoberfest! Pizza By the Slice, Beer and Bloody Marys during

the parade at Pizza Amore. Voted La Crosse’s

Best Pizza.

From the fine folks who brought you Kate’s on State and Pizza Amore...Try Kate’s

Crunch for lunch, dinner or anywhere in between. Located right downtown across from Howe’s Diamond Jewelers on Main.

Join us for artisan sandwiches, unique 1/2 lb. burgers, fabulous salads and soups, an array of dogs, sliders for any appetite and

awesome appetizers.

We are recently remodeled into a full restaurant and bar; Come and check us out!

Tuesday - Saturday: 11 a.m. – 9 p.m. Sunday: 12 a.m. – 8 p.m.

We are open for Oktoberfest so make sure to stop in during our extended hours!

SEPTEMBER SPECIALSPBR & Premium Grainbelt bottles – $2.50

Pearl Street Bottles – $3.00

SEPTEMBER LIVE MUSIC SCHEDULE9/1 Abbey Lane and the Backbone 10-1 a.m.

9/6 Cheech Live 7–9 p.m.

9/8 Bandsaw Brothers 8–11:30 p.m.

9/15 Altered Vision 8–11:30 p.m.

9/22 TBA

9/29 Enjoy Oktoberfest and stop in and see us!

www.katescrunch.com

Second Supper | The Free Press Sept. 1, 2012 // 3OKTOBERFEST

• La Crosse • Sparta • Richland Center • Prairie du Chien

Birth Control Services Annual Exams for Women

STD Testing & Treatment for Men and Women

Pregnancy Testing Emergency Contraception

Call for an appointment today! 800.657.5177

Helping create healthy

lives and families.

www.optionsclinic.org

444 Main St., Suite 310La Crosse, WI 54601

Phone: (608) 782-7001Online: secondsupper.com

Publisher: Roger [email protected]

Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen [email protected]

Cover and Ad Design: Jenn BushmanRegular Contributors:

Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Mary Catanese, Ashly Conrad, Marcel Dunn,

Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Nate Willer

Second Supper is a monthly alternative newspaper published by

Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 444 Main St., Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601

LETTERS TO THE EDITORSend your letters to the editor

to Second Supper, 444 Main St., ,Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail

to [email protected].

the free press

By Bob TreuContributing editor

CONTINUED ON PAGE 4

Fest: words that have the general sense “an assem-bly of people engaged in a common activity”

-- Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary

Let’s say, for the sakeof conversation,youcametoLaCrosseinthelate1960s,freshfromacoupleof years teaching inBoston.Let’ssayyou’reaBadgerbybirthanditfeelsgoodtobebackinWisconsininfall.Bytheendof the thirdweekof classes thenightsturncool,thehillstakeoncolor,deepgoldsandrussets,andpeoplewearsweaters.Thensomethingunexpectedhappens,somethingyouhaven’t seenbefore.Faces takeon theabsentlooksandbroadsmilesofpeoplewhoshareasecret.Theybegintotalkaboutgo-ing“festing,”awordyouhavenotheardbe-fore,andcolleagueswarnyounottoexpectmuchattendance inyourafternoonclassesforawhile.Thenonedayyouget thecall:oneofyourstudents,adecentoneat that,needshelp.Hehasbeenarrestedtryingtosteal thegoldenkeg. It’syour introductiontoOktoberfest. Atfirsttheideaofafestpleasesyou.Itstirschildhoodmemoriesoffallfairswherecolorfulbasketsoffruitsandvegetableslinedtheroadwaysandappleciderscentedtheair,where prize pigs and cattle were displayed

inpublicbarns,andpeoplecelebratedtheirproductivityincasualritual.InLaCrossethethingisdistinctlyGerman.NotonlyisthereaBavarianmealscheduled,butbratsseemtobecookingeverywhere,evenatMcDonalds.Youare soonaware that this isnot justan-otherfallaffair.Peoplecomelongdistancestofindamotel,aplaceonafriend’sfloor,oraspotfortheirtentatanearbycampground,inordertoparticipateinthemainevent—whichturnsouttobeshoulder-to-shoulder,out-of-controldrinking.Nosurpriseforana-tiveBadger. You have some German backgroundyourself,andlikemostAmericanswiththatcondition, you’ve been pretty much ignor-ingit.BeingGermanhasn’tbeenthatcoolsincetheSecondWorldWar.Stillyouhopetoconnectwithsomething“echtDeutsch”attheFest,somethingcarriedacrosstheoceaninasteamertrunkbyancestors,anoldtradi-tionkeptalivebyacenturyofimmigrants,soit’salittledisappointingwhenyoudiscoverOktoberfestwas inventedby theLaCrosseChamber of Commerce in 1961 and nur-tured by someone named D. J. Petrucelli,prettymuchoutofwholeLederhosen,asastimulusprogramforlocalbusinesses. It works. During this first three day-eventatCopelandPark,twoandahalftonsof brats are consumed, Juanita Beck playsher calliope, and people participate in apig chasing competition (planners should

considerreintroducingthisevent,withpar-ticipationlimitedtopoliticians).By1963theevent is extended to five days and a southsidesiteisaddedneartheMaryE.Sawyerau-ditorium.ThefirstOktoberfestbuttongoesonsaleforabuck.Bratconsumptionjumpstofourtons,garnished,wearetold,by250gallons of sauerkraut. In 1964, Louis Arm-stronggivesaconcertandisnamedhonor-aryfestmeister. Butby1964theundersideoffestinghasalsobeguntoshowitself,andthelocalpolicedepartmentasks,politely, tohaveapart inplanningthe1965Fest.Theyareconcernedabout the number of juveniles hangingaround the tents to cadge beer from theirelders.Then,in1966,allthatgemutlichkeitturns into a riot. One-hundred eighty onepeople are arrested for a variety of misde-meanors.That’swhentheCommonCouncilpasses an ordinance banning public con-sumption,whichissupposedtokeepdrink-inginthebarsandtentsandoffthestreets.Thatisfollowedbybanningbeercompletelyat the fest grounds in1967.That lastsoneyear. By the middle seventies most of thepeople you know avoid the Fest, and yoususpect theyarea little snobbish.But thenyour wife, who likes to make short trips intheearly fall, begins to resent your friends

Photo by Jacqueline MarcouTheresa Held will welcome visitors to the annual Oktoberfest celebration later this month.

Fester Days

4// Sept. 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressOKTOBERFEST

What’sthebestpartofLaCrosseinthefall? The changing color of the leaves? Thecoolbreezeblowingoff theMississippi?ThePackersonthebigscreenatGloryDays?Stu-dents returning to campus? The possibilitythatelectionseasonmightactuallyendinLaCrosse? Nope, it’s Oktoberfest. And here atSecondSupperit’sourjobtogiveyoutherun-downofafewofourfavorite,can’t-misseventssoyoucanplanyourfestivitiesaccordingly.Soraiseyoursteins,donyourdirndlsandjoinusouthereforthebestpartyoftheyear.

1. Tapping of The Golden Keg — Sept. 28, 11 a.m.This annual eventkicksoff the fest, and istrulyoneofthebestmomentsoftheentirefestival.ThekegitselfgetsaroyalridedownSecond Street, followed by a host of Fest-masters,ParadeMarshalsandvariousotherfesters.Lotsofotherfesters.Thetappingisimportantbecauseitreallyisthetruesymbolof the festival. La Crosse’s Oktoberfest wasbasically startedbyabreweryover50yearsagoasawaytopromoteandcelebratebeer,anditispossibletocelebratethistimelessli-bationwithoutactinglikeatotaldegenerate.Seriously.Don’tbethatguy.

2. Brats — ThroughoutYoucannot talkaboutOktoberfestwithouttalking about bratwursts. These sausagesservetwovitalfunctionsatthefest.Firstandforemost they quell even the largest of ap-petites(weonceheardaboutthisguyeatingseveninonesitting),andtheygivethenon-beer-drinkerssomethingtolookforwardto.Nomatterwhereyouareatthefest,youareboundtofindatleastonepersonmunchingonadeliciousgermanbratwurstsmotheredinsauerkrautandspicymustard.Thatcouldbeyou.

3. The Torchlight Parade — Oct. 4, 7 p.m.A casual, shorter, more fun version of theoriginalparade?Youdon’tsay.Youcertainlycannot go wrong with an evening paradefullofglow sticks,Sousaphonescovered inchristmas lights and the usual rabble thatcomeswithaparade.Amajorityoftheactsare repeats from the Maple Leaf, but theyarenotforcedtowalkoverthreemilesandput up with drunken shenanigans. If youTorchlightwheneveryoneelseMapleLeafs,you’regoingtohaveagoodtime.

4. Traditional German Clothing — Through-outYouknowit’sthetimeforOktoberfestwhentheLederhosenandDirndlsgetbrokenout,andwe’regladtoseethemyeareveryyear.IstherebetterwaytocelebrateOktoberfestthanbydonningyourfavorite(usuallytight-fitting)Germangarb?No,thereisn’t.

5. The Music — ThroughoutWhether it’s doing the polka in the streetduringtheparadesorcatchingtheShoelessRevolutionshowonthefest’ssecondweek-end,Oktoberfestneverfailstobringinsomesolidmusic likeBratPackRadio,T.U.G.G.,MoonBootPosse,theDewbs,andsomanymore.Andwhenthe lightsgodownat thefestgrounds,downtownclubshostbandsforthebiggestpartyoftheyear.

6. The Maple Leaf Parade — Sept. 29, 10 a.m.The Grandaddy of Wisconsin fest parades,theMapleLeafParadelivesuptomostofthehype.It’sabooze-soakedall-dayaffair.Evenifyoudidn’tintendforittobethat,itusuallyendsupthatway.Butifyou’veneverbeen,itisworthatrip.Ouradviceistoeithergetaspotearly(midnight should suffice—seri-ously)orplantowandertherouteinsearchof people you know. And trust us, you willseethem.Thefloatsarewhat’dyouexpectat a parade, but there are about triple thenumber you’d see anywhere else. If you’veseenthisparadebefore,thingsdon’tchangemuchfromoneyeartothenext,soourad-viceforpost-paradeshenanigansistorestupandsaveyourenergyfortheBratPackRa-dio’ssetonSaturdaynight.

7. The Rest of the FestThis festival isn’t justaboutBeer,Brats,Pa-rades, Music and Fancy Clothes. It’s aboutcelebrating fall, German heritage and theannual harvest. There is really somethingfor everyoneat thegreatLaCrosseget to-gether.Kidsdayatthefest,ridesforthekidsandteens,dancecompetitions,heritagefes-tivals,LaffOlympics,scavengerhunts,photocontests,races(BigMuddyandMapleLeafRun),CornholeTournament.Youwon’tbedisappointed you did any of these thingsonourlist,buttakeawalkaroundthefest-groundsandyouwillfindsomuchmore.Letthegoodtimesroll.Gemütlichkeit!

How to do Oktoberfestfrom Madison and Chicago who seem tothinkyouarerunningabedandbreakfastfor festers and that youwouldn’tdreamoffestingwithoutthem.Sheresentsevenmorehavingtostepoverunconsciouspeopleandhavingtoavoidpoolsof imperfectly identi-fiedeffluents.Aboutthattimepeoplebegintowearraincoatstothebeertents,eveninfineweather. Aftertheirhalf-heartedattempttobanbeerattheFest,thecitytriesanotherstrat-egy. In 1971 they create the current FestGrounds near Riverside Park, includingreplicasofhalf-timberedGermanbuildings.The Northside site, in Copeland Park, be-comessomethingmorelikeacarnival,withridesandgames.PeoplebringtheirchildrentoCopeland,whichsubstantiallydiminishestherowdybehavior. LittlebylittleyougrowthenotionthattheLaCrosseeventisanexampleofAmeri-can excess, having little connection to theUr-fest inMunich, afterwhich it is suppos-edly styled. Then you remember readingThomas Wolfe’s The Web and the Rock,whichendswithMonk,hismaincharacter,goingtoMunich.Soyoufindacopyinthelibrary,onlytodiscovertheFestsinMunichandLaCrosseoperateonprettymuchthesame cultural level: mindless eating anddrinking with occasional short interludesof lucidity. Wolfe’s novel was published inthe 1930s, and there’s something frighten-ingaboutMonklinkingarmswithGermanshedoesn’t knowand somehow fusingwiththemintoasingleuberfester.Thisnotyoursortofthing,althoughyoumayhavecomeclose years agowhile singingVarsitywithagroupofdrunken louts inaMadisonpub.Yourvisitstothefestdiminishovertheyearsas youbecomeabsorbed inparenting,andyourparticipationislimitedtothe100milebikerallyandtakingthekids to theMapleLeafParade. Somewhere along the line you actu-allyspendasemesterteachinginGermany,where you find yourself one evening remi-niscing with three young men who havestudied in La Crosse. They recall beingasked tomarch in theOktoberfestparade,whichseemslikeagoodideauntiltheyaretoldtheywouldcarrytheGermanflagandsingthenationalanthem.Butnein,aftertheNaziexperiencemostyoungGermanshavedevelopedanallergytothatsortofpatrioticdisplay.Twoofthemfinallyagreetomarchwithout the flag and sing a German song.NobodyseemstonoticeitistheteamsongoftheColognesoccerclub. All along Oktoberfest has tried bal-ancethemorerespectableaspectsofthefallfestivalwithepicpartying.Attimestheoneseemsaprettythincoverfortheother.Forexample,thereistheyearyourfriendsper-suadeyou,againstyourbetterjudgment,totakethemtothetoplessplacethey’veheardabout, an institution with no real connec-tion to Oktoberfest. Reluctantly you agreeandfindyourselfatatableintheYumYum

Treewatchingayoungwomandance.Whenshefinisheshersetshedrapesashawlcasu-ally around her shoulders, comes over toyourtable,pullsupachairnexttoyou,leansoverandasks, “CanI talk toyouaboutmyincomplete?”Shewearsglassesandherhairupwhenshecomestoclass,nottomentionclothes,soyouhaven’trecognizedher. Isitwrongtobeemphasizingtheorgi-astic,morethantheother,moreculturalac-tivities?Hardly.Butitisonlyfair,ifnotoblig-atory,topointtothesheervarietyofeventsincludedintheOktoberfestexperience.Thecuisineisnotconfinedtobratswallowinginkraut.Thereareseveralspecialsit-downdin-ing events, including one featuring pestoalfredo(a legendarydish fromthekitchenofHerrPetrucelli,perhaps).ThereareridesandgamesattheNorthsidegrounds,lotsofmusicatbothsites,and,fortheathletic,thehalf-marathon. Unfortunately the hundredmilebikeridehasbeeneliminated. Andof course there areparades.TheMapleLeafParade is theheartof theFestformanypeople,andsomeimportantmem-oriesareconnectedwithit.EarlyinyourlifeinLaCrosse,whilethewarinVietnamstillrages,youhelptransformaVolkswagenBugintoapeacedove.YouaregiventhetaskofdrivingitintheMapleLeafparade,withvis-ibilitylimitedtowhateverthesixinchaper-turethedecoratorsleftonthewindshieldal-lows.MuchlateryouroldestdaughtercomesbacktoLaCrossefortheFest.TheparentsofoneofherfriendsownsabusinesswithaparkinglotalongtheMapleLeafroute,andtheyinviteyouwatchtheparadewiththem.Therearecampers,grills,andplentyofkegs,and the weather is gorgeous. It’s a threehourparadeparty. SoyouaredistressedtolearninMarchof this year that the boss festers have can-celledtheparades.Thefestlosesmoneyandthey are not prepared to pay the city’s de-mandof$18,000,thecostofkeepingthingsorderlyandtakingcareofthemess.Butintheendgemutlichkeitprevailsand thecitysettles for$10,000.Theparadeswillgoon.Also, the fest has a new corporate sponsorwhomodestlydeclinestoattachitsnametotheevent (and Iobligebynotmentioningithere).Thereremainsthepossibility,how-ever,thatfutureFestswillfollowtheexampleofthesportingworld,andwewillhaveFestsnamed after pet toys, taco chips, or creditcards. Monk, in The Web and the Rock, be-ginshisvisittotheMunichfestgroundsinamoodofdeepcontemptforthemusic,thesounds,andtheapparentlymindlesscrowd.Littlebylittleheistakeninbytheoverridingspiritof the thing: “The fumesof thepow-erfulandheadybeer,and,morethanthat,thefumesoffellowshipandofaffection,offriendshipandhumanwarmth,hadmount-edtotheirbrainsandhearts.Theyknewitwasa rareandprecious thing, amoment’sspellofwonderandofjoy,thatitmustend,andtheywereloathtoseeitgo.”Whatmat-ter that Monk wakes up in a hospital nextday,his craniumhavingbeencrackedbyabeerstein?InLaCrosseweknowenoughtouseplasticcups.

FESTERCONTINUED FROM PAGE 3

ON THE COVER: From left, Theresa Held, Ashley Przedwiecki, Amber Crary. Photo by Jacqueline Marcou

Second Supper | The Free Press Sept. 1, 2012 // 5OKTOBERFEST

6// Sept. 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free Press

Name: Amy FellenzAge: 25Occupation: WaitressA. "Bronson From Wisconsin: The Week-end Warrior Hot Dog Vendor"

Last week, VH1 greenlighted a reality show about La Crosse's own Grand River Singers. What else would make a good La Crosse reality show?

Speak Your Mind with Jacqueline Marcou

Name: Justin BalridgeAge: 32Occupation: Cat WhispererA. "Profiles of Young Bar Owners"

Name: Joseph DoperalskiAge: 31Occupation: Consultant at Bluewolf A. "Coulee Region River Rats Noodlers"

Name: Krista HamiltonAge: 36Occupation: Entomologist A. "Talking Trash With Mayor Matt" and "The Real Barge Pilots of the Mississippi"

Name: Dennis MarcouAge: 60Occupation: Attorney/Judge A. "La Crosse Party Patrol: Cops vs Un-deragers"

Name: Jason AugensteinAge: 36Occupation: Registered NurseA. "Wasteland: How Mayor Harter man-ages to find balance between mayoral duties and youth and power"

THE BLUFF

It’stimeforanotherrhetoricaleditionof “Just Asking,” the occasional feature inwhichweposeafewpressingquestionsthathavenoanswers,butneedtobeaskedany-way. Firstup,whydoesthecashieratthegro-cerystorecheck-outalwaysaskwhetheryouwantpaperorplasticwhenthebaggerisonlygoingtoaskyouthesamequestionabout20secondslater? Justasking. Nextquestion:Canwegiveuponthatwholemoon-landinghoaxthingnow? For decades there has been a fringegroup of people insisting we never reallywenttothemoon.Butrecentphotosofthemoon taken by NASA’s Lunar Reconnais-sanceOrbiterCamerashowthattheAmeri-canflagsplantedtherebyeachofthevariousApollomissionsarestillstandingandcastingshadowsthatchangeduringdifferentpointsoftheday. Of course, this won’t be enough tochangethemindsofconspiracytheoristsbe-causenoproofcaneverbeenough.JustlikeObama’s long-form birth certificate didn’tsatisfy those people. There will always bethosewholovetoengageinwildconspiracytheoriesandwillneveracceptthatthemoonlandingsreallyhappened. Of course we went to the moon. Be-causethat’swheretheyburiedObama’srealbirthcertificate. Aslongaswe’reonthesubjectofcon-spiracytheories:Was“TheDarkKnightRis-es”reallyapoliticalallegory,andifso,wasitleft-wingorright-wing? Some,likeRushLimbaugh,believethemoviewasaveiledattackonMittRomneybe-causethevillain’snamewasBane(asinBainCapital).OthersbelieveBaneandhismin-ions represented Occupy Wall Street andBruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman was the One-PercenterwhofoiledtheirSocialistagenda. Personally,Ileantothesecondtheory,with Batman standing in for Mitt Romney.Because, like Batman, we don’t get to seeMittRomney’srealfaceeither. Nextquestion—IsittimetogetridofEnglishandcomeupwithsomenewkindoflanguage? I know there are some quarters push-ingforEnglishonlyasourofficiallanguage,butIsayweshouldbepushingforanythingbutEnglish.Idon’tcare if it’spigLatinorprimordialgrunting. MaybetheSmurfshaditrightallalongandweshouldjustusethewordSmurfforeverything.Thatwaywewouldn’tbedebat-ing whether people who don’t buy healthinsuranceundertheAffordableCareActaregoingtobehitwithaSmurforaSmurf.I’msorry,Imeantataxorapenalty. You see, thisdebate shouldbeeasy toresolve.Becauseitusedtobe,youlookedat

whatsomethinglookslikeorwhatitdoesorhowitworksandthatwouldtendtoanswerthequestion.Youknow,ifitwalkslikeaduckanditquackslikeaduck,thenclearlyit’sanoisyfeatheredpoultryofsomekind. President Obama insists it’s a penalty,nota tax,eventhoughtheSupremeCourtonlymanagedtosavethelawbycallingitataxandnotapenalty.Meanwhile,MittRom-ney called it a penalty when he passed es-sentiallythesamelawinMassachusetts,butiscallingitataxnowsothathecancriticizeObama. Actually, Obama and the SupremeCourtarebothright—andMittRomneyarebothright. ToborrowalinefromaclassicSaturdayNight Live sketch: “It’s a floor wax AND adesserttopping!” The media, particularly cable news —which stopped serving the cause of publicinformationyearsagoinfavorofratings—couldeasilysettlethisbyexplainingwhatthedamnthingdoesinsteadofbringingontalk-ingheadsfrombothsidesoftheargumenttojustrantabouthowit’sonethingortheother. Alltheywouldneedtodoisexplainthefollowing:Underthenewlaw,ifyouchoosenottohavehealthinsurance,youwillhaveto pay some extra money to the IRS. It is,bydefinition,apenaltyintheformofatax.Thatparticularpenaltyintheformofataxwillbepaidonlybyyou,notalltaxpayers,asopponentsofthelawwouldlikeyoutobe-lieve. Ofcourse,maybewedon’tneedtogetridoftheentireEnglishlanguage.Maybewecouldjustgetridoftheloaded,emotionallycharged,dog-whistlewordsthatareholdingusbackfromgettinganywhere. Thatwould includewords likeRepub-lican and Democrat. Maybe throwing outthese outdated labels would allow our law-makers to make decisions based on what’sbestforthecountryinsteadoftheirparty. Andaslongaswe’reonthesubjectofrenaming things, here’s another word weshouldgetridof:Marijuana. Maybe if itwascalledProzacorsome-thingwewouldn’tbesouptightaboutmak-ing it available inprescription form; some-thing more and more public officials arecomingoutinfavorof,bytheway. You have to ask yourself whether it’sreally worse than some of the prescriptiondrugs already on the market. You’ve seentheTVadsandthelonglistofpossiblesideeffects from various “medication” you canlegally buy, like anemia, heart attack, highblood pressure, stroke, seizures, intestinalbleeding, suicidal thoughts and “in somerarecases”death.“Remember,ifyouexperi-encedeathasaresultofusingthisproduct,callyourdoctorimmediately.” Thesideeffectsofmarijuana?Apossi-

Once again, we're posing a few questions that have no answersBy Tim RyanSpecial to Second Supper

CONTINUED ON PAGE 8

Second Supper | The Free Press Sept. 1, 2012 // 7


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Body Piercing & JewelrybleriskofobesityfromstuffingyourselfwithOreoswhenyougetthemunchies. Actually, we should scrap the entirephrase“WaronDrugs”andreplace itwithawordthattrulydescribeswhatitreallyis.Asubsidy. That’s right, the War on Drugs is, forallpracticalpurposes,justataxpayersubsidyfor the Mexican Drug Cartel. Because themoney we’re spending to keep marijuanaillegal isonlyservingtoboost theirprofits.Just like prohibition back in the ’30s wasnothingmorethanasubsidyforAlCaponeandthemobs.We’rekeepingtheminbusi-

ness. OK, last question, which requires alittlebackgroundbeforeweaskit. A viral video recently posted by theconservativewebsitePatriotUpdatefeaturesanObama-bashing6-year-oldwithatoygunoutlininghis10reasonswhyyoushouldn’tre-electthepresident.Thechild’srecitationof the standardconservative talkingpointsandconspiracy theories(i.e.Obamawantstotakeyourgunsawayandputyouonfoodstampsandnobodyknowswhatcountryhe’sreallyfrom)isbeingheraldedinsomequar-tersasaworkofgenius. Somyquestion to thosewhoagree isthis:Whatdo you think it says about yourpoliticalviewsthattheycanbesosuccinctlysummedupbya6-year-old? Justasking.

JUST ASKINGCONTINUED FROM PAGE 6

TheAmericanRedCrossWesternWis-consinRegionwillholdanannual9-11DayofServiceandRemembranceEventfrom9a.m.tonoonSept.15inLaCrosse. The event will consist of volunteerscanvassingthroughoutneighborhoodsandinforming residents about fire safety andprecautions. Volunteers areneeded to canvass the

neighborhoodswithAmericanRedCross. Volunteers will meet at the ScenicBluffchapter’sheadquartersat2927LoseyBlvd.S. for instructions on canvassing andtopickupcanvassingmaterials. Tovolunteer,pleasecontactchairsKel-liMades([email protected])orCas-sandra Buehler ([email protected]).

RedCrossneedsvolunteers

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screen TV’s.









Thank you La Crosse for letting us Rock You for 34 years !

La Crosse’s most decorated establishment!-Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine-

-Runner Up Best Outdoor Dining--Runner Up Best Bloody Mary-

(visit our Bloody Mary bar on Sunday!)-3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz-

Stop in today and see why we were voted BEST BURGER IN

LA CROSSELa Crosse’s most decorated establishment!La Crosse’s most decorated establishment!

-Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine--Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine-

(visit our Bloody Mary bar on Sunday!)-3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz--3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz-

Stop in today and see Stop in today and see why we were voted why we were voted

Stop in today and see why we were voted

Stop in today and see Stop in today and see why we were voted

Stop in today and see

BEST BURGER IN BEST BURGER IN

103 N. 3rd Street, La Crosse, WI 54601

w ww . d u b l i n s q u a r e p u b . c o m

Thank you, voters, for selecting Freighthouse Restaurant

WINNER: BEST STEAKFinalist: Best Fine DiningFinalist: Best Bartender

Mark Wuensch

And to our employees and customers…who are truly

the BEST!

The Freighthouse Restaurant | 107 Vine St . | Downtown La Crossewww.freighthouserestaurant.com

FRESH, DELICIOUS & CONVENIENT

8/31/11

THANK YOU FOR VOTING LINDY'S Best Sandwich & Wrap Selection

3 years in a row!

Free Deliver & Online Ordering! lindyssubsandsalads.com

221 Main St. (Downtown) 304 Sand Lake Rd.

308 4th Street (608) 782-9069

After 40 years downtown, thank you for voting us La Crosse’s favorite

home of live music -- and runner up for best open jam

To show our appreciation, we’re going to provide

you with more great music!

Tue. 7/31: Evergreen Grass Band

Fri. 8/3: The Greatest Story Ever Told

Fri. 8/10: Porcupine

Sat. 8/11: Moon Boot Posse

La Crosse’s Home La Crosse’s Home La Crosse’s Home of Live Musicof Live Musicof Live Music

Test your wits at Adam Bissen's trivia. Every Thursday night at 8 p.m.

Thank you for voting Bodega

La Crosse's best beer selection.

Special congratulations to

Alicia Stoltz, runner up,

La Crosse's favorite bartender.










La Crosse's favorite bartender.Thank you for voting Bodega





114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111

Voted Best Cocktail Bar Best Jukebox

Favorite Bartender–Jason LaCourse To help bring balanceto your life, go toBalanceYour7.comevery day!

The 7 wonders of your world

Best Pizza in La Crosse212 Main Street | Downtown La Crosse

(608) 78 AMORE [608-782-6673]www.katespizzaamore.com

Best Fine Dining1810 State St | La Crosse, WI 54601

(608) 784-3354www.katesonstate.com THANK YOU FOR VOTING US

BEST ART PLACE!

FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! www.facebook.com/politospizza



SHOP SMALL SHOP LOCAL

The following area businesses, all winners in the 2012 Best of La Crosse contest, extend a warm welcome to our Oktoberfest visitors. Please support these small businesses, which are

committed to the community and its guests.

10// Sept. 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressTHE PLANNER

SeptemberThe Month in Preview

music | entertainment | theater | fine arts festivals | things to do | oktoberfest | beer brats | fall colors | recreation | prost |

Sun., Sept. 2 T..U.G.G. ON YOUR LEI

@ Huck Finn’s

Time to pull out your Hawaiian shirts, leis, dance moves, and perhaps your grass skirts. As summer winds down, so to is the “Reggae on the River” concert series at Huck Finn’s on French Island. Sept. 2 will be your last chance this summer to catch La Crosse’s reggae-rock superstars T.U.G.G., playing on the Black River. And what better way to celebrate laziness this Labor Day weekend than by swaying to reggae at the band’s 2nd annual Labor Day Luau? As a bonus, southern California’s own Mike Pinto Band will also be jamming. Plus the show is free of charge, and all ages are welcome. The music starts at 7 p.m. and goes until 10 p.m., so make sure you swing out for one last easy groove.

Fri./Sat., Sept. 7-8HEAR A TALELa Crosse Storytelling Festival@ Myrick Park

Friends, Sconnies, La Crosse-ians, lend me your ears. Next weekend, Myrick Park is the place to catch the 8th annual La

Crosse Storytelling Festival. With over 30 events scheduled throughout the weekend, the festival features entertainment for all ages. Children and families will enjoy music and stories from Michael Reno Harrell, Kristia Wildflower, and Hans Mayer (just to name a few), while adult entertainment comes after dark during the Saturday Evening Adult Cabaret. Boasting the title of Wisconsin’s only storytelling festival, LCSF is a great kick off for fall.

Sun., Sept. 9 STRIKE A POSE!

DMI Fashion Show@ the Waterfront

Do you like beautiful people in beautiful clothes in beautiful downtown La Crosse? The come to Downtown Mainstreet Inc. Second Fall Fashion Show fundraiser at the Cargill Room at the Waterfront. Local vendors and retailers will display new fall fashions from 6 p.m. – 9 p.m., while guests enjoy champagne and other goodies. This exclusive social event offers both general admission and VIP access to fundraise for future local downtown gatherings. Along with a red carpet entrance,

guests will enjoy a cocktail hour and locally sponsored raffle prizes.

Fri., Sept. 14EAR MUFFS!

@ the La Crosse Center

Want to laugh harder than you have in a long while?

Consider coming

down to the La Crosse Center on Sept.14 for big-name comedian Ron White. “Tater Salad” is coming to deliver his new stand-up show, “The Moral Compass.” White is best known as the cigar smoking, scotch drinking funnyman from the Blue Collar Comedy phenomenon. The 8 p.m. show is bound to be offensively funny, so it’s for mature audiences only. Tickets are $38.75 and $48.75 and can be purchased at the La Crosse Center box office or Ticketmaster outlets.

Sat., Sept. 22GET BENTYoga @ the Eco Park

Looking for a fun, healthy activity for a crisp Saturday morning this fall? Look no further than the Myrick-Hixon EcoPark, which will be hosting Yoga in the EcoPark on Sept. 22 at 10:30 am, presented by Tammy Z’s Yoga Studio. There is no better way to enjoy La Crosse’s natural beauty than having fun and staying fit surrounded by the scenic EcoPark. This event is open to the public and requires no preregistration – the fee is $10 for adults and $5 for students and seniors, with all proceeds going to benefit the further enhancement of the EcoPark. Don’t forget to bring your yoga mat!

your ears. Next weekend, Myrick Park is the place to catch the 8th annual La

Fri., Sept. 14EAR MUFFS!

@ the La Crosse Center

Want to laugh harder than you have in a long while?

Consider coming

Second Supper | The Free Press Sept. 1, 2012 // 11ARTS

Asfallquicklyreplacessummer,wewillbeginseeingawholenewlineupofplaysintheLaCrossearea.Oneofthemosthighlyanticipated shows of September is "PiratesofPenzance,"beingputonbytheLaCrosseCommunity Theater. Originally written byW.S.GilbertandArthurSullivan,thiscomicopera will be running from Sept. 7-23 andpromisestokeeppeoplelaughingthewholetime. ImagineacrewofcomicEnglishpiratesduringthe1800s.Oneoftheirapprentices,Frederic, is celebrating his 21st birthday.Now, as a side note, this brought to mindhowriotous21stbirthdayscurrentlyareandmade me chuckle, so I can’t even fathomhow a rowdy group of pirates would cele-brate. Anyways,backtothepirates,sothey’reenjoying festivities. The birthday boy is re-leasedfromhisapprenticeshipand, follow-inghisrelease,decideshewantstodestroythepiratecrewbecauseheloatheswhattheydo. Also following his release he meetsMabel. She is the daughter of the Major-General, and the young pirate falls madlyin lovewithher.TheMajor-GeneralargueswithFredericaboutmarryingMabelbecausehehasanaversiontohisdaughtersmarryingpirates. As Frederic is no longer a pirate,though, it seems he could marry Mabel.However, thepirates returnandclaim thathecannotleavethegangbecausehisbirth-dayfallsonaleapyear,sohehasservedonlyfivebirthdaysnottherequired21birthdays. How the story ends is a surprise thatyoumustgoseeforyourself.Ticketsarerea-sonably priced: Fridays and Saturdays $23;ThursdaysandSundays$21. "PiratesofPenzance"willbeoneofthefew comedies running this year, at the LaCrosseCommunityTheater,sogetoutthere

andlaughyourpantsoff.

In other news: • Auditions for "BusStop" startTues-day,Sept. 11, at theLaCrosseCommunityTheater,1185thAve.N.Auditionsat7p.m. •Interestedingender,genderexpres-sionandpowerinourculture?Thenyou’llbe interested in the performance project,"Fulcrum:AnInterrogationofPower,"pre-sented at 3:30 p.m. and 6 p.m. on Friday,Sept.21, intheFrederickTheatreinMor-risHallontheUW-LaCrossecampus.The40-minute theatre piece raises questionsabout how gender, age and status affectpower.Itpresentsscenesfromseveralwell-knownplaysinnon-traditionalways,suchascross-gendercasting,inordertoilluminatehowweexpressandrespondtothosediffer-ences.Allperformancesarefreeofcharge(donationsfortheatrescholarshipsaccept-edat thedoor),andwillbe followedbyaconversationwiththeaudience. • The University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse Department of Theatre Arts pres-ents the high-energy musical "Footloose,"whichtellsastoryofafree-spiritedkidwhoremindsalocalcommunitythatit’snosintobeyoung."Footloose"performanceswilltakeplace inTolandTheatreonSaturday,Sept.8at7:30p.m.andSunday,Sept.9,at2p.m.ProceedsfromtheFootlooseencorepresentationwillgotosupporttheatrestu-dentscholarshipsatUW-LaCrosse. • With a brand new comedy showminedfromayearofnewsstories, incred-ibleimaginationandpoliticalfoibles(oftenone and the same), sketch comedy groupHeartofLaCrosseunveils theirnewmas-sive laugh-generating production, "Take aWalkerontheWildSide,or,ICan'tBarrettAnother Minute."Opening night sold outweeksago.Fortunately,therearestillticketsavailable($21adv/$24dayof) for the fol-lowingperformances:Sept.7,Sept.8,Sept.16,Sept.17,Sept.18,Sept.23,Sept.24andSept.25.

The Month in TheatreBy Kallie SchellSpecial to Second Supper

TheTop

Oktoberfest fouls1. Mike’s Hard Lemonade2. Booing children3. Passing out when it’s still light4. Fighting5. Littering6. "Hold the kraut"7. Staying in your dorm and studying

Green Bay Packer team goals1. 19-02. Make Jay Cutler cry3. Have Lil' Wayne record another theme song4. Average 87 points per game5. Win one for the boys at Glory Days6. Beat Facebook with team stock IPO7. Find Lambeau Leap Amy

HELP WANTED: ADVERTISING SALES

Second Supper needs sales help. Pay is commission, based on sales. Email [email protected]


Contributed PhotoRoster McCabe will perform at The Popcorn Tavern as part of the Downtown Sound Music Festival.

MUSIC

By Kevin SommerfeldSpecial to Second Supper

It’snotalltoopleasanttothinkabout,but summer is coming to an end. Discus-sionsabouttheupcomingLaborDayweek-endserveassubtleremindersoftheseason’seventual demise, but this is also an oppor-tunitytofullyenjoyafewoftheremainingsummer days. So the question then is this:howshouldyouspendthem? Ofcourseyoumighthaveafamilygettogether toattend,and itmaybebest thatyoudon’tskip it,butacertaineventheadsLaCrosse’s2012LaborDayweekendmightmake you consider doing so. And not justthisweekend,butforyearstocome. Sept.1and2markLaCrosse’sfirstyearof theDowntownSoundMusicFestival, anevent thatpromises tobe something likeaminiSXSW. ItkicksoffonSaturdaynightandwillincludeanarrayofmusicaleventstoattendatvariousvenuesarounddowntown.The music continues in the street all daySunday,thenreturnstothebarsatnight. The free music festival is part of LaCrosse’s 2nd Annual Labor Day WeekendBicycle Festival. Dane Gonzales, a festivalorganizerandowneroftheRootNote,saidDowntownSoundismadepossiblethroughalargecollaborativeeffort, “Businesses and people are coming to-gether to put on a cool event for the city,”Gonzalessaid.HementionedthatonegoalofDowntownSoundistomakelivemusicabig-geraspectoftheLaborDayfestival.Themaingoal,ofcourse,istogetpeopletogether. ThebigdrawofDowntownSoundtakesplaceonSunday,Sept.2.The300blockofPearlStreetwillbeblockedoff totraffic inordertohostahugestreetpartywhichwillincludeacontinuousflowoffreemusiconastagethat’spoweredmostly—andsome-timesentirely—byvolunteerbicycleriders.This means you can participate in power-ingthestage,andbeinthefrontrowwhileyou’reatit. Also,microbreweries fromaroundthearea will be sponsoring nearby bars wheretheirbeerwillbeontapallday.

Holiday fun abounds downtownThe new sound of Labor Day is free, fun, and bike-powered

Sunday’s eventsbegin in themorningwith live sand sculpture and 3D sidewalkpaintingputonbytheArtsInitiative.Therewillbeyogainthestreetsat11a.m.,followedby Drums for Peace at 12:30. The CheezLandUkeBandwillalsobemakinganap-pearance. Themusicstartsattwointheafternoonandgoesonnonstopuntil9:30atnight.Fivebands are on the roster: The Feelin’ startsthemusicat2p.m.,ChastityBrownplaysat3:30,NattyNationisat5,Crankshaftat6:30,andRosterMcCabeat8.Thestylesoftheseperformances cover the spectrum of soul,blues,country,rock,andreggae.Reminder:allthismusicisgood,free,andthestageishuman-powered. Afterthemusicstopsinthestreets,the

partycontinuesintotheclubs,soifyoucan’tmake it to the daytime performances, youcanstillseethebandsplayatnight.ChastityBrownwillperformatBodegaat9,NattyNa-tionatRootNoteat10,andRosterMcCabewillbeatThePopcornTavernatmidnight. Saturday’sactsasapreludetoSunday’sbigevent.Three-timeGrammywinningsing-er/songwriterBillMillerwillbeperformingatthePumpHouse.Ticketsare$15,andtheshowstartsat7:30.Ifyoucan’tfrontthe15buckstoseeBill,goseeWinona’sownbluesmusicianMikeMunsonforfreeatTheCava-lier Lounge, whose show starts at 8. Later,the smooth and soulful band, The Feelin’,willbeplayingatThePopcornTavern.Showstarts at10and there isnocovercharge ifyouhaveahandydandyVIPwristband.

Wristbandscanbeboughtfor$10andinclude many perks, including no coverchargesatbars,discountsonbeerfromvis-iting breweries, participation in VIP beer-tastingatbrewerysponsoredbarsonSundaynight, aswell asmanyotherdeals atotherlocalbusinesses. Gonzalespointedoutthatawristbandpurchase buys more than just these perks,“It’sasignofsupportandawaytocontributetothingslikethishappeninginLaCrosse.” Wristbandsareonsaleatthefollowingestablishments:TheRootNote,ThePumpHouse,ThreeRiversOutdoors,TheCasino,andDowntownMainstreet,Inc.Allproceedsgotosupportthefestival,aneventthatwillhopefullylivenLaCrosse’sLaborDayweek-endforyearstocome.

ThePumpHousewillholdanArtMixerfrom5-7p.m.Saturday,Sept.15,tocelebratethreenewexhibitions: •LisaUlik's"Within/Without" •KimRadatz's"Skins--Inside/Out" •LaCrosseCounty4-H's"InspiringImagination" "Within/Without,"intheKaderGallery,Within/Without explores and questions how we live inproximitytoothers.Theexhibitionisacollectionofcell-

phone landscapes, Googled images and interviews withcommunitymemberstranslatedintodrawings,prints,vid-eoinstallationandsound. In "Skins--Inside/Out," in the Front Gallery, Radatzmakesavarietyofforms,suchasadressoranenvelope,toexpresshumanexperiences.Herworkisastudyofpercep-tion,andthestoriesthatareleftbehindlongafteramo-menthaspassed.

"Inspiring Imagination" by 4-H artists, in the Bal-conyGallery,showsthecreativityandtalentofsomelocalyounger artists. Come and be inspired by incredible art-workfromdevelopingartistsinLaCrosseCounty4-H.ThePumpHouseRegionalArtsCenter,119KingSt.,isopen11a.m.to7p.m.TuesdaythroughFridayand12-4p.m.Satur-day.Forinformation,[email protected].

Art Mixer helps unveil new exhibitions at Pump House

Second Supper | The Free Press Sept. 1, 2012 // 13MUSIC

MUSic DirectoryFEATURED SHOWS

Saturday – 9/1Crunch – Abbey Lane and the Backbone (rock) • 10 p.m.Cavalier – Mike Munson (blues) • 8 p.m.JB’s – Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 10 p.m.Pump House – Bill Miller (popular songwrit-er) • 7:30 p.m.Popcorn – The Feelin’ Band (world pop) • 10 p.m.

Sunday – 9/2Pearl Street – Roster McCabe, Natty Na-tion, Crankshaft, Chastity Brown, and The Feelin Band (Downtown Sound Music Fes-tival ) • 2 p.m.Huck Finn’s – T.U.G.G. (alt-reggae) • 7 p.m.Root Note – Natty Nation (roots reggae) • 8 p.m.

Monday – 9/3Warehouse – Phinehas (hard rock) • 7 p.m.

Wednesday – 9/5Del’s – The Wrong Omar • 10 p.m.Root Note – Angie Atkinson w/ Kelly Frag-ale • 8 p.m.

Thursday – 9/6Crunch – Cheech (acoustic blues) • 7 p.m.Del’s – Acoustic Vision

Friday – 9/7On The Rocks – Circle of Heat (rock) • 9:30 p.m.Cavalier – Jason's Birthday Bash • 8 p.m.

Saturday – 9/8Crunch – Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 8 p.m.Pettibone Boat Club – Smokin’ Bandits (jam-grass) • 5 p.m.Root Note – Houses in Motion (Talking Heads tribute) • 10 p.m.Southside Festgrounds – Pop Evil, Royal Bliss, Monkey Wrench (hard rock) • 5 p.m.

Sunday – 9/9Root Note – Memphibians • 8 p.m.

Wednesday – 9/12Del’s – Colin Marshal

Thursday – 9/13Del’s – Simple Rogues (pub rock) • 10 p.m.Cavalier – Andy Hughes • 8 p.m.Cavalier – Another Exoneration • 11 p.m.

Saturday – 9/15Warehouse – King Conquer • 7 p.m.Cavalier – Click Track CD release w/ 123 Walrus • 9 p.m.

Sunday – 9/16Warehouse – Your Memorial • 7p.m.

Wednesday – 9/19Del’s – Stereofi delics (power duo) • 10 p.m.Warehouse – The Browning • 7 p.m.

Thursday – 9/20

Del’s – Andy Hughes (of T.U.G.G. fame) • 10 p.m.Cavalier – Brandon and Lars • 11p.m.

Friday – 9/21Muse Theatre – tribute to Lynryrd Skynyrd • 7:30 p.m.Root Note – Ben Metzger • 8 p.m.

Saturday – 9/22Cavalier – Mixgenre Mixtape, I Am Daniel, Jacob Grippen • 11 p.m.

Monday – 9/24Root Note – Smooth Money Gesture (jam rock) • 8 p.m.

Wednesday – 9/26Del’s – Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 10 p.m.Root Note – Angie Atkinson w/ Kelly Frag-ale • 8 p.m.

Thursday – 9/27Del’s – Cheech and FriendsCavalier – Frankie Salvaggio & Baron • 8 p.m.

Friday – 9/28Popcorn – Nimbus (psychedelic rock) • 10 p.m.Southside Festgrounds – Moon Boot Posse, the Remainders, Monkey Wrench (Oktober-fest)

Saturday – 9/29Root Note – Twin River Armada • 8 p.m.Southside Festgrounds – Jim Busta Band, Brat Pack Radio, Back Home Boys (Okto-berfest)

Sunday – 9/30Southside Festgrounds – The Dweebs, Thom-as Rhett (Oktoberfest)

WEEKLY GIGSSundayHolmen Concert in the Park Series – Half-way Creek Bandshell • 5 p.m.La Crosse Queen – The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 6 p.m.Popcorn – Innocuous Voodoo (funk) • 10 p.m.

MondayPopcorn – Grant’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.Del’s – Cheech’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.

TuesdayPopcorn – Paulie • 10 p.m.Root Note – 3rd Relation Jazz • 8 p.m.

ThursdayStarlight – Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.Root Note – Open Mic • 8 p.m.Popcorn – Dave Orr’s Blues Jam • 10 p.m.

FridayLa Crosse Queen – The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 7:30 p.m.

SaturdayLa Crosse Queen – The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 6 p.m.

Adams Street Pub

Adams Street Pub

Adams

1200 11th St. S. | La Crosse, WI 54601

HAPPY HOUR:Morning: Mon. – Fri. 9a.m.–NoonEvening: Mon. – Sat. 3–7 p.m.

COLLEGE SPECIAL:M-TH after 7 p.m.: A pizza & pitcher for $11.00Another $ 1.00 off with College I.D.

Plug your own I-Pod in to our sound system for FREE tunes!

CHECK US OUT ON FACEBOOK!

FREE WI-FI!!!

14// Sept. 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressCONSUMPTION

in German33 More bashful34 Subway barrier35 Rehab participant36 Between S and F on a laptop38 36 inches40 Qatar's capital43 Concert concession stand buys45 Howling beasts46 Like jerky48 Top-to-bottom, infor-mally49 Tony-winning actress Uta ___50 Actress Donovan of "Clueless"51 Cardiff is there52 Lucy's friend, on "I Love Lucy"56 One of the deadly sins57 Turn green, perhaps59 First name in "The Last King of Scotland"60 Season opener?62 Eggs, to a biologist63 Leather shoe, for shortland)

ACROSS1 ___-stealer6 Fridge stickers13 1992 Madonna al-bum15 Arctic herd16 Corny game show set on city streets?17 Carbon-14, for one18 East, in Germany19 Drag (around)21 Extremely cold22 Corny reality show set all over the world, with "The"?27 Legendary king of Crete29 Deschanel of "New Girl"30 More slippery and gooey32 ___-cone33 Typical guy on ro-mance novel covers37 With 39-across, corny buddy cop show?39 See 37-across41 "Andre the Giant ___ Posse"

42 Get some grub44 Little party45 Magazine that popu-larized the term "crowd-sourcing"47 Name of three Shake-spearean title kings48 Corny coming-of-age dramedy?53 Label for Arab meat dealers54 Obedience school lesson55 Kaczynski or Koppel58 Home perm brand61 And all these corny TV shows are brought to you by...64 Plants the grass after it dries out, say65 Slowly slide into chaos66 The O in Jackie O67 Actress Chabert

DOWN 1 Mrs.'s counterparts, in Mexico2 Family played by Alex-

ander, Stiller and Harris3 Biblical verb ending4 CNN's ___ Robertson5 2011 outbreak cause6 Sprint competitor, once7 Some batteries8 Just barely awake and functioning9 Fertilizer component10 Virus named for a Congolese river11 Subject of debate12 Rain-unfriendly ma-terial13 Earth Day prefix14 Rife with conversa-tion20 Cheap cars of the 1990s23 "Chaplin" actress Kelly24 "Hey, wait ___!"25 New Rochelle, N.Y. college26 Some Chryslers27 ___ pit28 Letter after theta31 Major German river,

"That show is so corny"As is this crossword

By Matt Jones Answers on Page 4

©2012 Jonesin' Crosswords

wE have moved!

444 main St., Suite 310,

La Crosse, WI 54601

Office hours by appointment onlythe free press

Oktoberfest MärzenHacker-PschorrMunich, Germany

The Beer Review

Asweallknow,SeptemberisthemonthofOktoberfest—boththehugepartythatreduces La Crosse to a particularly entho-centric bacchanalia and the German lagerknownasaMärzenthatgetsreleasedintimefor thesefirstchillynightsofautumn.Andmuch like the La Crosse party gets mixedreviewsamongcityresidents,evenforbeeraficionadostheMärzenisapolarizingstyle.Manyfindittooheavyormaltyorlightonhops,butIhappentolovethisbeer.Okto-berfestsaretheperfectseasonalrelease,andfor the past four years, every beer review IpublishedinSeptemberwasaMärzen.Nowthat Second Supper only prints monthly,thatfeatisslightlylessimpressive,butIhaveno intention of breaking this Oktoberfesttraditionanytimesoon. AndsinceI’monlygoingtobereview-ingoneOktoberfestbeerthisSeptember,Imightaswellmake it theoriginal:Hacker-Pschorr’sOktoberfestMärzen.Accordingtocompanyhistory,JosephPschorrcreatedtheveryfirstOktoberfestin1810whenLudwigI, crown prince of Bavaria, commissionedthe already-famous brewmaster to make abeer for his wedding. The party and beerwere so fantastic, we’ve been celebrating iteversince.That’sabeerrecipeyoucantrust. Purchase: One pint of OktoberfestMärzenattheBodegaBrewPub,$5 Style:Oktoberfest Strength: 5.8percentABV Packaging: Hacker-Pschorr has a dis-tinctwhiteandbabybluemarketingscheme,

and its bottles are wrapped in a checker-boardpattern.ThetaphandleattheBodegamaintainssomeofthatcoloring,butitalsohasadignifiedportraitofaclassyEuropeangentlemanwhomIjustgoingtoassumeisJo-sephPschorr. Appearance: More than most lagers,this Märzen pours an excellent tawny redhuethatappearsrobustthoughstillrelative-lyclearbeneathafoamywhitehead. Aroma: Thearomaissweetbutappre-ciably fresh,muchbetter thansomeof thewidely distributed American Märzens thattravelshorterdistancesbutsmellyearsold.ThisHacker-Pschorrhasarichgrainprofile,freshmaltingandakissoffloralhops. Taste: This Oktoberfest gets that firsttaste just right. While some Märzens comeon heavy and metallic, the Hacker-Pschorrseepsinonsweetwispsofcerealandslowlyunveils its complexity. As the beer warmsthe taste gets more bready, but it remainsintriguinglycreamy,andafinehopsendoffcuts through the sweetness and leaves themouthwithadeliciousaftertaste. Mouthfeel: Forhavingsuchafullflavor,it’ssurprisinglythinbodied. Drinkability: The drinkability is quitehigh,exactlywhatyou’dwantasthefounda-tionofatwo-weekbeerfestival. Ratings: BeerAdvocate scores this an88whileRateBeergivesitan87.Iexpectedhigher scores for this lion of the Märzenstyle, but that just goes show you can’t tellotherpeoplehowtoOktoberfest.Well,thecity of Munich can, and Hacker-Pschorr isone of only six breweries allowed to pourduring that city’s festival. It’s hard to beatthatrecommendation.Prost! — Adam Bissen

Beer DirectoryTHE CASINO304 Pearl St.

Beer listWittekerkeFranziskanerHacker-Pschorr WeissWeihenstephan Kristall 16.9 ozDelirium Tremens 750 mlMelange A Trois Reserve 750 mlPearl Street Pale AlePaddy Pale AleMoon ManCrooked TreeHopslayerCentennialHop Stoopid 22ozLambickX 750 mlPetrus Aged Pale 750 mlGoudenband 750 mlSmuttynose Farmhouse 22 ozSpotted CowPrima PilsGolden Pheasant 16.9ozBrew Farm Select LagerGrain Belt NordeastLost Lake LightRhinelander Export-7 ozLa Crosse LagerLa Crosse LightSpaten OptimatorHuber BockDoppel Weizen 22oz

Downtown BrownHobgoblinFounder's PorterCappuccino Stout 22ozFounders Breakfast StoutMatacabras Dark AleGouden Carolus 750 mlAchel Trappist Extra 750mlKasteel Donker 750ml

PEARL STREET BREWERY TASTING ROOM1401 St. Andrew St.Beer listD.T.BPale AleEl HefeThat's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout StoutRubber Mills PilsTambois Raspberry Fram-boiseJava LavaDankenstein Double IP

KAT'ES CRUNCH333 Main St.Beer listDomestic Beers:Alaskan AmberAnchor Steam BeerBitter Woman IPAPabst Blue RibbonPremium Grainbelt

Red Bridge (Gluten Free)Sam Adams Boston LagerBlue Moon (Tap)Coors Light (Tap)Sam Adams Summer Ale (Tap)Sierra NevadaSummit

On Wisconsin:New Glarus:Fat SquirrelMoon ManRoad SlushSpotted Cow (Tap)Totally NakedPearl Street Brewery:Dankenstein IPADowntown Brown (Tap)El HefePale Ale (Tap)Coming soon:StoutOktoberfestCiders:Angry Orchard (Gluten Free)StrongbowAround the World:Amstel Light (Belgium)Dos Equis XX (Mexico)Guinness (Ireland)Hacker Pschorr (Germany)Smithwicks (Ireland)St. Pauli Girl (Non-Alcoholic)


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The following area businesses, all winners in the 2012 Best of La Crosse contest, extend a warm welcome to our Oktoberfest visitors. Please support these small businesses, which are

committed to the community and its guests.

Another Tradition in La Crossse since 1931.

Proud sponsors of the Oktoberfest Maple Leaf & Torchlight Parades!

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THANKS!THE PEARL

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Sundays: Breakfast Buffet starting at 9am, Chances to win Packer ticket every game!

Sundays: Breakfast Buffet starting at 9am, Chances to win Packer ticket every game!

1914 Campbell Rd. (608) 782-7764

2011

Thanks for putting us ‘on top’ for a third year

in a row.

Winner - Soup Selection & Cheap LunchFinalist - Sandwich/wrap selection

10:30 AM – 7:30 PM Monday through Saturday

16// Sept. 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressTHE LAST WORDaguywhenyou’rebothlivingthousandsofmilesfromhome:“Wow—youliveinamudhut?!Iliveinamudhut!Youhaveaholeforatoilet?Ihaveaholeforatoilet!” Thiscouldverywellbe thevoluntour-ism version of two 14-year-olds decidingthey’re the second coming of Romeo andJuliet because they like EXACTLY THESAME MUSIC AND MOVIES! Eventually,the14-year-oldshittheir20s.(Lifeinone’s20s,likelifebackhome,includesafewmorecomplexities.) A mutual obsession withgeekstarapsuddenlymatterslotslesswhenoneturnsmilitantveganwhiletheotherhasproblemswithhunting,butonlybecausesheprefershermeatalreadykilled,skinned,andcooked,anddeliveredtoherwithasideofasparagusonfinechina. Yousayyou’reinlove,butit’sthepartof lovethatcan’tbetrusted—theinfatua-tion stage. (Say hi to your hormones, be-cause you’re their bitch.) AnthropologistDr.HelenFisherandhercolleaguesfoundthatinfatuationcorrelateswithasurgeintheneurotransmitterdopamine,andFishertoldPsychologyTodaythatinfatuationsharesel-ementsofacocainehigh—“sleeplessness,lossofasenseoftime,absolutefocusonlovetothedetrimentofallaroundyou.”Inotherwords, getting married now is like signingabinding lifetimecontractwhileonanex-tendedcokebender.

Bride and zoomI’m in love, and I just said yes to marrying

the man of my dreams. We’ve only known each other for two months, but we’re in the Peace Corps. You really see the core of a person when conditions are not so comfy. We’re planning on traveling home to get married on our next monthly break. (We get two days off.) Afterward, we’ll have a big celebration back here with all our local friends. My best friend’s begging me to slow down, but my parents married two weeks after meeting, and that worked out. Marrying now feels very romantic and like the most right thing I’ve ever wanted to do. What’s wrong with saying yes to romance?

— Excited

It’seasytofinda lot incommonwith

The ADvice GoDDeSSBy Amy [email protected]

It doesn’t help that the human brainis like a grabby toddler, prone to go forimmediate rewards without weighing theconsequences.Later, itcomesbackaroundanddoestheadultjobofjustifyingallofitsunwisechoices.Foryou,eventheabsurdityofmarryingsomebodyyoubarelyknowbe-comes a justification: “I’m not an idiot; infact,I’mbright!SomarryingsomebodyIjustmetisn’tidiotic;it’sromantic!”Youalsoturnyour parents’ marital impulsivity into prec-edent.Guesswhat:Theyweredumb—andlucky.Theyturnedouttobecompatible,asyoutwomay—ormaynot—betwoyearsfrom now, once you’re back in the landwherechicken is somethingsold in shrink-wrap,not something thathops across yourheadatnight. Waiting to get married doesn’t pre-cludeyoufromthrowingaparty.Usethosetwodaysbackhometoinviteyourfriendstocelebratewithyou,towitnessyouexperienc-ingthejoyssomanyofustakeforgranted—hotshowers,doinglaundryinawashingmachine,andencounteringenormousbugs,but only the kind that come with a three-year/36,000-milewarranty.

Gone with the SchwinnI’m a 31-year-old guy, a part-time model,

newly single, and scared to talk to women. Yester-day, I saw a beautiful woman checking me out at

Whole Foods. I didn’t know what to do, so I un-locked my bike and rode off. This happens maybe three times a week.

— Getting Ridiculous

TheroofofWholeFoodswillnotopenup while you’re shopping, and a beautifulwoman will not fall into your cart and say,“Oh,wow—I’vebeenwaitingforamanlikeyou to take me home and smear me withcruelty-freepeanutbutter.”Sadly,thismeansyou’ll need to approach a woman, openyourlips,andmakewordscomeoutaboutsomethingshe’swearing,doing,orcarrying:“Kelp steaks! They’re even better than thetofu T-bone!” The way to get comfortabledoingthisisbyactuallydoingthis.Fortwoweeksinarow,giveyourselfaweeklyquota:Youhavetomakemoveson21womenyou’dbeinterestedindating—threeperday—even if it takes going out expressly to findwomentohiton. Ifyoufall shortoneday,make itupthenext.Comeupwithapun-ishment, like giving $50 to charity, shouldyoufailtomeetyourweeklynumber.Everywomanyoutalktoisn’tgoingtogooutwithyou,butyou’llcertainlygetmoredatesthanyoudowithyourcurrentstrategy:“Abeauti-fulwomanislookingatme!Quick,unlockthebikeandspeedaway!”

(c) 2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps$2.25 Micro/Craft Taps$2.50 Cherry Bombs(7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers$2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY TUESDAY THURSDAYMONDAY WEDNESDAY FRIDAY$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm)$2 Corona Bottles$2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails$1.50 Domestic Taps$3.50 Jager Bombs(7-1am)

$2 Domestic Bottles$2.50 Skyy/AbsoluteMixers$2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10$5 Micro/Import Bottles$11.50, $7 Micro/CraftPitchers (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers$2 Long Islands

Mixers (7-1am)

SATURDAY

Check out our new bottled beer selection!

Our next edition of Second Supper | The Free Press publishes Oct. 1. Our advertising deadline is Sept. 24. For information, email [email protected].

Documents

Vol. 12, No. 9