s734f7d27924875e8.jimcontent.com · Web viewP.E.P. Talk . For Students Enrolled in . Paper Evaluation Packages . and others writing. Great Books Essays. Presented by. Cindy Marsch

P.E.P. Talk For Students Enrolled in

Paper Evaluation Packages and others writing

Great Books Essays

Presented byCindy Marsch

Writing Assessment Serviceswww.writingassessment.com

© 1999 – 20015 Cindy Marsch, All Rights Reserved Writing Assessment Serviceswww.writingassessment.com

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This tutorial in its electronic and printed versions is provided free of charge and may not be sold.

Anyone desiring a copy should inquire with Writing Assessment Services at the website below.

Any other use constitutes fraud.

The workbook is provided in the electronic form and with varying levels of evaluation services available from www.writingassessment.com .

All contents, unless otherwise noted©1997-2015, Cindy Marsch

All Rights Reserved


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Table of Contents

Introduction 4

The Fashioning 5--Using P.E.P. Talk--Drafting

The Framework 5--Thesis--Introduction--Conclusion

The Fabric 7--Support--Narrative--Summary--Definition--Comparison--Style

The Finishing 14 --Quotation--Subordination/Coordination--Verbs--Miscellaneous Hot Spots--Title

The Samples 19--“Old Man Eloquent”--“From the Summit”--“The Jew that Shakespeare Drew”--“A Perplexing Lack of Penitence”--“Flame of Poetry”

Acknowledgements 26


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IntroductionIn the fall of 1998 Wes Callihan asked if I could offer essay evaluation for students in his Great Books 1 and 2 courses for Schola Tutorials, and about thirty eventually enrolled with Writing Assessment Services. Over the course of the year I gathered many typical and outstanding student samples, and here I have gathered and reorganized the best of the material, expanded to include a bit from other tutorials and work through 2004. Originally this document was for the exclusive use of my Paper Evaluation Package, or “P.E.P.,” clients. In the years since, students in other Great Books, rhetoric, and related tutorials or independent study have made use of P.E.P. Talk, and I hope you, too, will find it useful as I want to make it available to all students of the Great Books who visit my website to download it. Of course I hope this document will encourage you to order evaluations if you have not already.

In Fall 2005, for the first time, I offered a “Writing Prep Workshop for Great Books Papers” that used this document as a guide. That course is continuing still. Over the course of four weeks beginning in September, students interact with me and with each other as we discuss this document and try some exercises designed to give everyone confidence as they begin writing the papers for the year. You may visit my website for more information.

Online tutorial students are privileged members of the homeschool community, their parents having recognized and invested in the value of a high-level education at home. Most Great Books students are well prepared, studious, and a delight to work with, and I count it a privilege to serve them.

Wes Callihan could not have done better than to advise students to follow the Escondido Tutorial Service and Oxford Tutorials Great Books paper guides (http://www.gbt.org/guides.html and http://www.oxfordtutorials.com ). Fritz Hinrichs’ and Norm Lund’s instructions are thorough and compact, and students can turn out reasonably solid essays with only those guidelines and attention to the source material. (Do note that tutors’ assignments vary from year to year!) As R.L. Dabney said that we can do no more than pray until we have prayed, a Great Books student can do no more than follow the basic instructions until he has followed the basic instructions. Read the guides!

Please consider ordering Evaluations for the year for your Great Books papers. As I evaluate student work, I point out weaknesses in “Standard Written English,” show where an exposition begins to wander off topic, and, most important, ask good questions. Most of my comments anticipate a revision of the essay, and I encourage students to revise whenever possible. (You may arrange separately for evaluation of your revision essays.) Revising “goes the extra mile” for the online tutorial but just begins the journey toward excellence in writing.

You can use prescriptive guidelines, and then evaluations after the fact, but you may well benefit from seeing bits of other students’ essays as you labor over your own. Writing Assessment Services P.E.P. Talk is a convenient tool to help you garner some of the advantages of revision during the composition stage. Think of it as one strategy in your continuum toward excellence:

1. Know the material (readings and tutorial meetings)2. Know the assignment (paper guides online)3. Know the pitfalls and secrets of success (this document)4. Know you’ve done your best (the paper itself)5. Know how to respond to criticism (the evaluation)6. Know when and where to move on (revision or next paper)

NOTE: Student work is excerpted here without correction, so you will find typographical errors, grammar errors, and thinking errors. Be charitable in your private thoughts, and don’t make these mistakes yourself!

Cindy Marsch, M.A.September 2007


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http://www.oxfordtutorials.com/

http://www.gbt.org/guides.html

The FashioningWriting is a holistic activity, requiring a student to employ many skills and varied approaches to progress from an assignment or idea to a finished product. Because writers brainstorm, plan, draft, and revise in so many different ways, it is difficult to set out a step-by-step guide or even to “label” different parts of the process in a systematic way. Nevertheless, here follow some ideas in what I believe is a useful order.

Using P.E.P. TalkIn its rich text form, this document is searchable and has working hypertext links. You are not limited to online use, however; please print out the document for use as a handbook as you work on your papers. Using P.E.P. Talk on your computer rather than from a printout will enable you to “search” or “find” any terms you need anywhere in the text. You can discover how to fix your “verb” or “modifier” grammar problem, find good examples of “narrative,” or even get a glimpse of what previous students have written about “Nero” or the ideal “hero,” “Lucretius” or “Livy.”

Of course you may prefer a paper printout to mark up and highlight. Whatever you do, please remember not to make electronic or paper copies for anyone outside your immediate family—P.E.P. Talk is only for those who visit my website to download it.

DraftingYou should expect to write and rewrite and rewrite again each of the papers for your tutorial, and if you feel you have to "throw away" quite a bit, consider it a badge of honor, testimony to your commitment to excellence.

If you prefer composing on the computer, do not limit yourself to your screen. Go ahead and print out your first draft, then live with it for hours or days, depending on how much time you have. Make notes in the margins (double-space to make that easier), scratch out, literally cut up your draft and tape it back together again in new ways. Then later go back to the computer and apply those revisions to the original file.

If, however, you're old fashioned and like to draft on real paper, switch to the other way! Take that loopy handwriting and the arrows you've drawn and the blotches where you erased several times and "translate" them to your computer screen. See what it all looks like clean, in print.

Many students need to warm up during the writing process (as all good writers do), but each sentence is so hard-won that they’re unwilling to cut anything from the draft. If you notice that your work isn't ticking along nicely until two or three paragraphs in, be ruthless and cut out those "warm-up" paragraphs, or drastically rewrite them after the first rush of inspiration.

The FrameworkWriting needs a beginning and an ending and a point, providing what I call the “framework” of your essay. (See also my comments on “scaffolding” in the section titled “The Fabric,” under Comparison.) For many students the work of the introduction and conclusion will come after the “guts” have been completed—these students should study the thesis section and come back to the introduction and conclusion further on in the draft process.


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ThesisThe thesis is simply the point of your writing, the idea you set forth for others’ consideration, and much has been written on it elsewhere. Be sure your thesis matches the requirements of your assignment, and then consider these warnings and examples.

The most common content weakness in papers written on the Great Books is a falling back on plot summary, whether for a narrative, a character sketch, or even an argument. Students are often content just to tack on evaluative comments at the end. Those writing on Livy particularly fall into this trap when they apply the "lessons from Livy" to our country. Remember that your thesis development should drive narrative; the "story" should serve your larger purpose of saying something ABOUT that story.

This student makes great use of narrative and source material to support her thesis, using interpretive words to fit her spin:

Alcibiades returned Socrates' affection. The older man did his best to counter the flattery of the young man's other followers, and Alcibiades took it to heart. The wise man's words even drew tears, and Alcibiades attempted to grow as truly noble and discerning as his friend desired--at first. Yet at other times he ignored the philosopher and went with the adulators. He too often allowed the growing nobility in him to be snuffed by the promise of some new pleasure.

Remember that a thesis can appear anywhere in your essay. One student whose writing improved quite a bit over the year had a nice thesis that he dared to put near the end of his essay--an excellent technique if you can do it with style. Earlier in the essay this student had commented on more "temporal" effects of martyrdom, but the citations of the temporal and the eternal work together to strengthen the overall effect of the essay:

Eusebius gives a wonderful view to modern day readers of the value of thinking in terms of eternity. There is no doubt that martyrdoms directly influence lukewarm Christians. Martydoms strike a serious chord in the heart of the non-Christian, who is used to viewing this life as all there is. They cannot understand "why" and the question makes them want to know more. Many of the witnesses to these martyrdoms were attracted to Christianity. This expanded the Body of Christ and did completely the opposite of what Rome wanted. Rome was trying to eliminate the Christians and strengthen all loyalties to itself. This proved more futile after each martyrdom. Christianity was like a raging wildfire and nothing could extinguish it.

Some students go the extra mile toward the exceptional. This student studying the Great Books independently posed as a Marxist addressing Marxists in complaint about that awful girl Antigone:

In the end, Creons dishonoring of Polyneices better promoted the class struggle in the inevitable march to Utopia and the classless world. Creon was the one who worked with the dialectic process, speeding up inevitable social progress by deciding to honor the good and punish the evil. After Creons just actions Antigone that thorn, that religious zealot, that willingly defiant pebble under the foot of society, tried to disrupt the process. However, we will not be hindered by this one, or anyone. There will be no slowing down of the march to the classless world. Resisting the inevitable is mere capitalistic foolishness on her part!


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IntroductionWe are all familiar with “telling ‘em what you’re gonna tell ‘em,” the old saw about introductions. There is nothing wrong with a standard introduction, if it does the job, and this student gave it the richness I want to see in more mature papers:

The vast majority of the classics considered “great books” are secular. Why should we, as Christians, read them? The value of reading Lucretius’s epic poem The Way Things Are provides a good example. There are three reasons why Christians should read Lucretius, despite the blatant problems in his philosophy. He was the best proponent of an influential philosophy; his poetry is simply beautiful, and he provides valuable lessons in how to present unpopular ideas in an attractive format. Christians can actually learn many things from Lucretius.

Another effective introduction puts the student in solid command of the material from the beginning. See how she lays out a fact, asks a rhetorical question, then sets up a teaser to urge us on in our reading:

Soon after the Roman Emperor Nero (who reigned from 54 to 68 AD) came to the throne, he selected “The Best of Mothers” as a password in honor of his mother, Agrippina. But was she really the best? As Nero’s mother she had a lot of influence over him, but it was actually a bad influence. She taught him that power was worth anything. He learned that lesson well, because it was in line with his own character. In fact, by the time Agrippina died she probably thought that Nero learned it a trifle *too* well.

Still another student used humor to good effect, though you should look out here for a diction problem and a good opportunity to combine sentences:

One of the ways in which reading Lucretius can be helpful, is that it can help give us a more accurate view of history. We in the 20th century have a tendency towards chronological snobbery. Chronological snobbery is a term for the belief that until recent times, people were stupid. We believe that before Elvis, the average person just did not have the reasoning facilities that a "modern" man does.

ConclusionAs I noted above under Thesis, Great Books students tend to “tack on” an interpretation after a plot summary and feel they’ve concluded the matter. Another common weakness reveals itself in a student’s inability or reluctance to take command of the material in an interpretive sense. But examine how this student's conclusion does not shrink from strong statements about his “hero,” Alcibiades:

However, his nascent nobility and courage was spoiled by the unrestrained selfishness and glory hunting. I found him to be a complete and utter scoundrel, and yet from the beginning, likable.

A weaker student might have written some slippery thing that does not make clear what he thinks of Alcibiades: "His good training and advantages didn't do him any good in the end, though he was popular with the people."

The ennui you feel in my insipid version is echoed in the following ineffective conclusion. It's clear what the writer's opinion is, but do you feel any enthusiasm, conviction, or urgency to communicate?


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From studying the life of Nicias, I can see some characteristics I would like in my own life, such as kindness and generosity to people who really need money. Other characteristics I don't want to possess are cowardice, timidity, and being too concerned about other people's opinions. Nicias, like most of us, had some good qualities and some bad qualities.

Would you expect to find this summary in a magazine of political commentary written at the time? No, because the writer doesn't really take a position worth defending. Of course everyone has good and bad qualities. What is it about Nicias that makes him worthy of study, or, if he isn't, whom should we study instead? Your expositions in essays like this are intended to add to the sum total of "scholarship" on the subjects at hand.

Finally, to leave conclusions with a fine example, I offer another student excerpt. This student does not just "tack on" an application of Livy to our country or cite the convenient Scripture reference, but he really works the account of Cincinnatus and current events and Scripture into a holistic commentary with real substance:

In today's society we are taught to think only of ourselves and to get all we can. We must guard ourselves from becoming greedy and power hungry. Maelius' life provides us with an excellent warning because we can see how these vices led to his downfall. Jesus tells us in Luke 12:15 "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed." Instead, we ought to seek after wisdom and self-restraint like Cincinnatus portrayed. In Proverbs 9:12a it says, "If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you…" and in 1 Peter 5:8, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." Self-control is important to have in our lives because it protects us from succumbing to temptations including greed. In addition, God commands us to have self-restraint.

The FabricSpread between the introduction and conclusion is the fabric of an essay, the “guts” I referred to earlier. The elements below--narrative, summary, and so forth—may constitute the overall plan of the piece or the strategy of a particular paragraph or sentence. Like fabric they should form one continuous whole of meaning, reinforcing the thesis, but that fabric should carry your signature-- creativity and increasing writing proficiency.

SupportAs you move through a year’s Great Books course, you will have an increasing repertoire of works on which to draw as you write about new works, and certainly you may draw upon other reading you have done. Don’t be afraid to make comparisons among heroes and scoundrels and statesmen. Part of what you are ultimately working toward is a broad familiarity with the great thoughts of human history and the ability to use them as you express your own ideas. Draw upon your literary capital to produce wise theses and rich arguments.

There really is no way to hide skimpy reading or vague comprehension. In a late paper on Lucretius for Great Books 1 nearly everyone used the "honey on a cup" quote from The Way Things Are and cited the value of reading Lucretius to help debate unbelievers. However, few went any deeper, to show just how a particular idea from Lucretius fits a modern materialist mind, or how a special technique of his could be used "in real life" today to defend the faith. One student wrote these sentences, which on the surface seem very solid and eloquent:

If we find that we have been in error about a certain belief, then we have improved ourselves by reading. If we find that Lucretius makes us more secure in our own beliefs, then we have gained even more.


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However, his flaw was that he got caught up in high-minded "pronouncements" like these without coming down to the details of the work that PROVE (or even suggest) what he asserts here. This student's essay had many lovely sentences, though, and a couple of others who did the same kind of thing failed to do it so eloquently.

One of the early essays in Great Books 1 can cause problems with theological anachronism, applying Christian character standards to classical heroes, and in a set of essays on Antigone some had difficulty distinguishing between timeless values and distinctly American and/or contemporary political ideas, and some used terminology anachronistically. ("Civil disobedience" comes to mind.) Be sure to acknowledge anachronisms and other incongruities where appropriate.

NarrativeIn a characterization assignment some students have difficulty deciding whether to tell what happened or to tell about a particular character in the narrative, and they often wind up just telling incident after incident that "proves" a character's particular virtue. For example, several wrote about Aias's courage thus: "And then when he defended the ships he showed great bravery . . . And then when he met Hektor he was very brave, too."

For a character sketch or analysis, think about the narrative as a stream, and as it "flows by" you are stepping onto particular rocks that will get you where you're going at the end of the stream. You don't need to use all of the rocks, and you may want to try the slippery ones, or the small ones, assertions that are more difficult to maintain from the narrative. The point is to go in the direction the narrative stream flows but not to sink into it. This sample from one successful paper on The Iliad uses the narrative and quotes to further the thesis, Aias's bravery:

In the middle of the battle over the body of Patroklos, the few Achaians turn and run from the many Trojans, terrified. Aias alone stands firm--indeed, he charges into the front fighters like 'a savage wild boar,' and continues fighting against the odds.

Be careful how you present the facts of a narrative. Don’t note that Caeso was charged with murder without mentioning the political intrigue behind it; don’t paint a picture of Cincinnatus plucked up from his plowing to serve Rome as if it happened out of the blue. Tell that Caeso was falsely charged with murder, or that Cincinnatus was farming because in his honor he had sold all he had to pay his exiled son's court fine.

Many students had trouble with the narrative of Cicero’s prideful conversation with a countryman upon returning to Rome from Greece. Note how this student included the quoted material in her own sentence pattern and gave hints to help us hear the friend’s tone of voice:

He [Cicero] also showed his love of praise, for he eagerly inquired of a friend “what the Romans said and thought of his actions, as if the whole city had been filled with the glory of what he had done.” His friend, however, disappointed him by asking, “Where is it you have been, Cicero?”

This account of the machinations of Claudius tells the story plainly but just slogs through that narrative stream without art:

Appius Claudius wanted to be reelected. He campaigned to win the commons. His colleagues became worried. They offered him the overseeing of the elections. But Claudius used that position to get himself and his friends elected.

But see how the student actually wrote it—pay close attention to the language that guides us over the thesis stones in the stream:


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Appius Claudius was determined to be reelected. He campaigned furiously, seeking the acceptance of the commons. His colleagues became worried. To forestall Claudius’s plan, they offered him the overseeing of the elections. But the ruthless, unprincipled Claudius used that position to get himself and his friends elected.

SummaryThe summary is a challenging assignment but a useful technique to learn. Approach a summary at first as you would a scientific abstract: assign perhaps one or two sentences per section, proportioned according to the size of the original and the length of the summary you want to produce. If you determine, for instance, that a 2000-word piece in ten paragraphs must be boiled down to 200 words, allow yourself a twenty-word sentence per paragraph, then smooth out the summary with transitions and further revision. For a more informal, stylized summary, you can still start this way, but allow yourself more leeway to create the effect you want in the final version.

Summaries often form not the whole of an essay but an important part of the background of a point or the quick rehearsal of the results of an action. This student builds a case with a progression of ideas (though he could do better with transitions), listing items so that we’re nodding in agreement:

Moreover, Cato never even dreamed of exempting himself from the law, even in the most extreme of circumstances. Members of the opposing party unlawfully arrested him while he addressed the people. Friends of Caesar assaulted and dumped buckets of dung on both him and his colleagues. His opponents forcefully detained Cato and his colleagues so that they would be absent when the senate voted on important measures. Yet even in the face of injustices worse than these, Cato never resorted to deceit or treachery.

The details of battle are exciting in themselves, but what WAS it that gave the Greeks such spirit against the Persians? Was it just a great general whipping them up? Was it the comradeship of an elite fighting group? Was it xenophobia? Engage with the possibilities and weigh in with your own thoughts. Your experience with the Great Books is not complete until you've brought your own mind and experience to bear.

Do not succumb to frustration with the inherent difficulties of conveying in a summary the finer but essential points of a complicated argument. “Major on the majors" while acknowledging the minors. One student did very nicely describing the continuum of forms of government from The Republic. Here is a passage to show how she uses one definition as the base from which to explain the next in the continuum:

As the young members of the aristocratic society grew up and replaced the older members certain characteristics had changed. The younger generation began to compromise the community's unity and they ceased to keep the principle of specialization. They began to crave personal success and money unlike their aristocratic fathers who were focused on the well being of the community and its members. While an Aristocracy formulated its militia with incredible structure as to make enemies doubt their chances of overthrowing the society, the Timarchy focused more on building brute strength instead of strategy in their military. The evolved Society was filled with people torn between the highest and lowest parts of their mind and therefore they ended up compromising their ideals.

In contrast, another student used a promising and vivid analogy to touch on these terms but in a way that did not define them clearly--and a clear definition is essential for a summary of a technical work:


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Following Plato's path down the road to democracy the city first must depart from his ideal of aristocracy. Immediately after stepping outside the realm of aristocracy the city finds itself at the banks of a meandering stream. On the other side lays the realm of oligarchy, rule by the wealthy few. The bridge that crosses this stream is called timocracy. Proceeding onward across this stream and across the land of oligarchy; the city finds itself in democracy. After democracy is reached it is but a short journey to drop into the sinister valley of dictatorship.

To summarize a theme across a number of works is a challenge reserved for a final paper. The best approach is to develop the theme you want and use illustrations from the books to support it. For example, you might devise a three-part definition of Greek piety, with gradations along the way. A five-paragraph paper can explore those gradations of definition, with history for the first--an objective level of piety. Tragedy and epic poetry then illustrate the next level--maybe the actual practice of piety in people's lives, while philosophy explores beyond the practice, as theology would do. To cover your second point, perhaps, you could discuss Antigone's piety and that of one of the epic heroes.

DefinitionA clear definition of a term or concept establishes a foundation for discussion and sometimes constitutes an entire paper in itself. Here are two nice definitions of Epicureanism, the first simple and businesslike:

The founder of this theory was the Greek philosopher Epicurus. This philosophy stated that matter and void are the basis of everything and religion is the principle evil that clouds men’s minds from discovering truth. These Epicurianists also believed that there is nothing supernatural and the after life is non-existent.

This definition from another student does much the same job with more flair and detail:

He was a follower of Epicureanism, which, along with Stoicism, was one of the two greatest philosophies of the ancient world. Epicureans believed that all the world was material. Man did not have a purpose for being on the earth, and there was no afterlife. But since man did happen to be on the earth, he might as well be happy. The way to be happy was to seek understanding and avoid extremes of pain. (Contrary to popular conception, Epicureans were not hedonists. A lot of pleasure often causes pain, so Epicureans would actually have avoided extreme pleasure.)

ComparisonThe mechanically simple thesis derived from a comparison assignment—Greek ideal man and Christian ideal man—need not be ideologically simple. Don’t stop at the most obvious similarities and differences between the two. Think of zebras and horses, or zebras and skunks, or zebras and wildebeests. The point isn't to say that differences and similarities exist, but to USE them to say something more. And when you compare the two, be sure you're comparing like with like. Is it fair to compare Odysseus with Jesus, or should we limit ourselves to comparing Odysseus with, say, King David or Alfred the Great? When you note the differences, be sure you're not penalizing Odysseus for not serving a God he did not know.

Political literature abounds with classic comparisons, such as discussion of the impeachment processes for Johnson, Nixon, and Clinton. Usually a mature comparison will present a sketch first of one subject of the comparison, then another sketch of the other subject IN TERMS OF THE FIRST, with lines like these: "While X was clever about blankety-blank, Y's intelligence was more subtle--he once blankety-blankety-blank. Y also showed himself a better man than X when he blankety-blankety-blank."


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Make sure if you must handle a "list" for a paper like this that the reader can't look from across the room and say, "Aha! A list!" A "scaffolding" list is fine as you're drafting, to keep your thoughts organized, but you don't leave scaffolding up after you complete a building project--the internal supports should hold up the aesthetically pleasing parts. An "essay" is a "setting forth" as upon a journey, but make the journey pleasant, not just a ticking off of stations along the way.

Though this example begins with an unfortunate “global statement” to avoid, it is otherwise an adequate, standard comparison introduction:

Through the course of time, many men have striven to become better people, but few can agree on what the best qualities of a man should be. This mix of agreement and disagreement is apparent in comparison of the ideal man from ancient Greece, Odysseus, and an ideal man of God, as described in the Bible. While some would contend that it is unfair to compare a man that actually existed with an ideal from the Bible, we must remember that Odysseus' life story was possibly altered by Homer. He probably portrayed Odysseus as an ideal Greek (with some obvious flaws) to appeal to his audience.

And here is a nice summary paragraph to conclude another student’s comparison:

Odysseus was a noble man, in action as well as in position. He can be admired for his good traits, such as his wisdom, cleverness, and compassion; however, one must be wary in imitating his not-so-good traits. Remember that he was a man, had character flaws, and made mistakes; and we should always guard our minds and compare everything to the Bible. Through that comparison, one can accurately see where Odysseus' strengths of character were, as well as his weaknesses.

Style“Creative writers” often claim personal style as license for a mishmash of written expression. For academic papers, though, and for anything you might want to sell or use to persuade others, you need more conventional style. Your individuality comes through as you develop a distinctive voice for your readers. You will find yourself favoring particular patterns for sentences, and as you recognize those patterns you’ll need to decide whether to revise some of them for freshness.

This is where a good dose of the Institute for Excellence in Writing (http://www.writing-edu.com) techniques will serve you well, if you have used that program. And my own Progymnasmata workbooks and tutorial (www.writingassessment.com ) provide a more sophisticated level of imitation.

One student has a few sentences you should study. The first set scans very well--read it aloud to feel the natural rhythm.

They endured immense persecution for one reason: They refused to deny the Lord they served. Infuriated governments and raging mobs could not sway their firm belief in their God.

Then look at the next two sentences I've excerpted.

Although the martyrs would not comply with the evil demands of the pagans, they offered no resistance to the consequences of their brave actions. Mobs could hurl obscenities at them, and hardened soldiers could beat them but the suffering Christians refrained from resisting.

Do you feel a pattern to this writer's style? Although you don't want to get trapped into the same sentence forms all the time, you will settle into your own natural style and become known for it--make it a good one!


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http://www.writing-edu.com/

http://www.writing-edu.com/

For a couple of the Great Books assignments there is opportunity to write a speech, and its style should differ from that of an essay. Listeners to a speech need clear divisions of thought, smaller paragraphs, and more explicit and repeated "pointers" to outline the ideas as they flow by.

For another assignment or two you may create "characters” to tell the story of a battle, and perhaps for some of you the opportunity to create fiction really sparks your imagination and helps you engage the reader. But the danger lies in losing control. Don't just take a 21st Century teenager and dress him in battle gear. If you do, you get this:

It was an unusually warm summer day in Greece and I was sweating like Hades inside my bronze armor. It looked as if another uneventful day was upon me. ... I was getting rather annoyed at our General Militades for making us stand in this hot weather.

I can appreciate the desire to make the character feel "real," but a REAL soldier, especially one about to embark on such a great battle, would likely be carried away with anxiety, awe at the great general, and "true grit."

Beyond envisioning a realistic character to tell your story, you must know that character's knowledge and limitations. A foot soldier will not know the big picture for a military maneuver, only his own orders, and often those not until the last minute. A general may seem to be in control but must also respond in the heat of action, making last-minute decisions to marshal the men.

One student cleverly solved this problem by having a character return home from battle and tell his sister about it. The writer's own knowledge limitations are accommodated in a character who wouldn't tell his sister the whole thing anyway.

Another student did well to tell the story of a soldier who failed in one battle, only to regain his good name in another to come. And still another made great use of the account of the soldier Basilides, "framing" her discussion of Eusebius with accounts of this soldier's first encounter with the martyrs and of his death as a Christian himself. Another student compared him to the soldier at the foot of Christ's cross, a man who declared that surely this was the Son of God. Making comparisons like this is an excellent technique, and picking out likenesses from wide reading proves you a careful scholar.

And finally, to illustrate stylish courage in a student, a stanza from her effort at versifying the tale of Thermopylae:

In the annals of time are many battles That stand out in men's memory. Among them is that of Persia and Greece At the pass of Thermopylae. After this battle the Persians Thought they had their foot in the door But the Spartan resolution belonged to all Greece; Xerxes won the battle but lost the war.


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The FinishingAs you come to the end of a draft and begin considering that it is time to submit it, be sure to attend to some polishing activities. The old tricks--reading your paper aloud, having someone else read it, setting it aside for hours or days, printing it out so you can hold it in your hand and mark it up with a pen—are great ways to ensure the best possible product. Consider these final notes on ways to improve the flow and polish of your work.

QuotationStudents often have difficulty incorporating quotes into their work. For the purely mechanical, punctuation-level considerations, please find and dog-ear a good style sheet, the MLA or APA or similar (also available online). It is not necessary to memorize the citation techniques and punctuation, but you DO need to know where to find the formats when you need them, and the more common ones should become familiar enough that you needn’t look them up every time. Don’t think of quotes as “sidebars,” but work them into your own language, paraphrasing where appropriate to fit your own prose.

In the Support section above I mentioned a quote from Lucretius about putting honey on a cup of medicine to help it “go down.” Most students used that quote in a big block, which CAN work, but even more effective is a weaving of the author's words into your own prose. That way you can tell us that Lucretius' aim is to have you "fooled, but not betrayed," as you take the honey of his poetry to mask the seemingly unpleasant medicine of his philosophy.

In the section on the Conclusion, above, a student weaves Scripture into the work in a helpful way, and in the Narrative section another quotes Cicero and his fellow with good interpretation in between. The more complicated your papers are, with subtle arguments supported by the text, the more quotes you will have to include but make your own.

Subordination/CoordinationI highly recommend subordination and coordination to improve your writing. Particularly as you handle complex subject matter you need to handle the "evidence" in a fair and persuasive manner. Look at these two examples of good subordination and coordination.

Though Menelaos did not duel with Hektor, his willing attitude showed that he knew his duty toward his fellow warriors, and was prepared to follow through with it, regardless of the cost.

AND

While the Greek people were not Christian by any stretch of the imagination, they still had a conscience. Look, for example, at the virtue of nobility, and the way a Greek man displayed it.

Essayists working with narrative and summary must handle subordination well, to make the obvious a backdrop for the interesting. One student gives both a good example and a bad example. In the first, the poor example, please note the awkward switch in part of speech for “influence.”

Nearly everyone has someone who has influenced his life a great deal, for better or for worse. In most cases, this influence is a parent. The emperor Nero was no exception, for his mother, Agrippina the Younger, was one of the biggest influences in his life. She influenced him by pushing the throne on him (he was too young and inexperienced) and by her bad example.


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The student’s explanation of the obvious ("Nero was no exception”) is too wordy for his purpose. It would be better to subordinate the elements of this paragraph something like this: "The emperor Nero, like all men, was subject to the influence of those around him. His mother, Agrippina the Younger, had an especially strong influence of evil in his life, and the empire suffered for it in years to come."

Now for the good paragraph, using the material well:

In his early twenties, Nero's power began to corrupt him as he realized more and more that he had supreme power over the entire civilized world. Agrippina, realizing that she could no longer control her biological son, turned to her stepson Britannicus, hoping to make him emperor and control him as she could no longer control Nero. Nero, feeling his power threatened, poisoned Britannicus.

Do you see how this paragraph uses the background facts to tell what's really important? Not just "Nero got more and more corrupt" but also "as he realized...he had supreme power." See how we see then Agrippina's motivation AND action, and then Nero's in response? We leave this paragraph feeling how wicked people respond to their insecurities. (One stylistic note: this student would do well to vary the pattern of the sentences--see how similar they are?)

Socratic dialogue is difficult to reproduce in a summary essay without missing essential points of the flow of argument, the tension that builds as Socrates’ victim paints himself into a corner. For this type of assignment you must resign yourself to a bit of the mechanical, but note how this student sets up a careful structure, subordinating and coordinating its elements: "S. gave an example and asked. Thr. replied yes. Then S. gave an example and asked. Thr. again replied yes. S. finished by asking." We can follow the argument and be ready for the analysis the student provides in the final paragraph (not reproduced here):

Socrates gave the example of medicine and asked Thrasymachus if the end of medicine is to heal the body. Thrasymachus replied yes. Then Socrates gave an example of piloting a ship and asked if its end is to keep the ship on course. Thrasymachus again replied yes. Socrates finished the argument by asking if the end of the arts was to serve the weaker. Thrasymachus tried to escape from replying, but was eventually forced into saying yes. Socrates then applied this principle to Thrasymachus’ definition of justice. “So,” Socrates asked, “the true ruler caters to the needs of the weaker, or his people?” Thrasymachus said yes, of course, and so ended his variation of his definition of justice.

VerbsStudents often fall into a time trap and switch back and forth frequently between the present tense and the past tense. Verb tenses in an essay, both within the individual sentences and throughout the essay as a whole, are supposed to agree. For example, "When Achilles heard the news [past tense], he went out and wept openly [past tense]." But many write things like this: "When Achilles heard the news [past tense], he goes out and weeps openly [present tense]." (This paragraph adapted from Norm Lund.)

It is sometimes difficult to know what to do when handling a piece of literature. Because the piece exists in the present for the one reading it, it is fine to say, "As Achilleus pouts in his tents. …" But then you have to stick with that present tense, except when saying something like this: "As Achilleus pouts in his tents, he protests the fact that Agamemnon stole his girl." For that purpose you exist in a present moment in the story but can refer back in time in the story or even forward in time, concluding my sentence above like this: "…his girl, never realizing that his petulance will bring disaster to his people." You can also handle the action of the story entirely in the past tense, telling it like history. As a general rule, if you're drawing attention to the action of the writer you treat the work in the present tense: "Homer offers us a variety of heroes, all with faults of some sort."


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One student example from an essay on the Peloponnesian War provides a fine model for expert handling of verb tenses for a rhetorical purpose. Study it to your profit:

Athens was in disbelief. In 413 B.C., after nineteen years of war, their largest and most awe-inspiring war expedition had just surrendered, every last man, to the Spartans. Two of their most talented generals had been executed. Half of their navy, Athens’s pride, had been lost. They no longer had sufficient funds in the treasury, and they didn’t have enough ships to guard the Piraeus, their port, if the enemy attacked. No doubt their subject cities would soon revolt from them, taking with them the tribute that Athens so heavily depended upon. Panic ensued, and the Athenians were sure they were about to lose not only the empire, but their city as well. Luckily for them the Spartans weren’t very quick to take action. The war would carry on for another eight years, until Athens was finally defeated. . . . By the next year, an unprecedented and magnificent Athenian expedition had set sail, only to be disappointed upon arriving in Sicily. Egesta could not provide as much support as she had promised, and the Sicilian and Italian cities hadn’t been as eager to join Athens as the Athenians had thought they would. All three of their generals: Alcibiades, Nicias, and Lamachus, had different ideas about how to conduct the campaign, and as a result their first actions in Sicily were irresolute and disorganized. . . .

Another problem with verbs is using weak verbs (forms of “to be”), passive constructions, and nouns instead of verbs. The best way to illustrate this malady is with an example of it:

Pompey began his military career at a young age. By the time he was 23 he had already become a prominent general. One of Pompey’s martial accomplishments was conquering the Mediterranean pirates.

I told this student to use more active language, verbs rather than nouns, like this: “Pompey conquered the Mediterranean pirates, earning a permanent place in Roman martial history.” Feel the difference? Now see if your instincts tell you what’s wrong with this excerpt:

Adeimantus clarifies that these situations are mentioned to provoke Socrates into speaking arguments in favor of morality, then proceeds to state the arguments he had problems with.

This "flat" narrative could be livened up with more active wording. The passive "are mentioned" and the weak "speaking arguments" as well as the middling verbs "clarifies" and "proceeds to state" just drain all the life out of this passage. Look to strong verbs, vital nouns (unlike "situations," "arguments," "problems" in this context), and economical syntax to beef up your language. Try this: "Adeimantus admits that he tells these stories to provoke Socrates, but he really wants..."

A favorite resource of mine for assisting in the subtle art of word choice is Fowler's Modern English Usage, and I urge you to get a copy to add to your academic home library. There is a link to order it from my web site, and you may also make good use of the wonderful Online Writing Laboratories (OWL’s), a couple of which are listed on the “Links” page of my website at www.writingassessment.com .

Now for a strong student example:


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Alexander was at the same time very extravagant and very moderate. He loved to heap presents on his friends, and his table was always filled with all kinds of delicacies, but he himself ate none of them.

Yes, the student could have really injected steroids and written that “Alexander simultaneously spent extravagantly and lived moderately” or that “he filled his table with delicacies,” but remember that making choices in writing is a delicate business and itself requires moderation!

Miscellaneous Hot SpotsOver the years I have observed students making the same mistakes over and over again, and I want to draw these to your attention, particularly so that I don’t have to see so many this year!

Commas with Appositives—When you “rename” the subject of a clause, set that renaming aside in parentheses: “Nero, one of the worst of Rome’s emperors, was trained in vice by his mother, one of the worst of all mothers.”

Commas with Direct Address—When you write a narrative with dialogue and have a character speak to another, use commas to set aside the naming of the spoken-to: “I ask you, Blondina, whether you will deny the faith and save your soul.” “No, my lord, I cannot.”

Commas with “However”—This trouble can apply to other constructions, but I see it most often abused with this word: “He fought to exhaustion, however, and could not continue.” “He fought to exhaustion; however, he could not continue.” “He fought to exhaustion, however he fought.”

Punctuation with Quotations—There are too many variations on this error, so I send you to a good mechanics handbook as you create work with quotations in it, citations or dialogue.

Parentheses—If you find yourself tempted to use them, consider whether there is ANY way to avoid them. They should be used sparingly, always with the thought that what is within them is either disposable or an aside, often an informal comment, which is usually not called for in an academic paper.

Sentence-Opener Adverbs—If you start a sentence with an adverb, it had better modify a verb in the very near vicinity. If you start a sentence with “Hopefully,” you probably need to revise it altogether, since the only proper use of that word would be something like this: “Hopefully I put out my hand in the dark, trusting that I would find something to grasp.” The other temptations to use “Hopefully” should probably be rendered something like this: “I hope that…” I am about to concede on this use of adverbs, as I keep finding it in writing handbooks, as a kind of all-purpose modifier for a whole sentence or clause. So I may not mention it in your work, but you should know that the BEST of writers try to avoid what the worst of writers use a lot.

Hyphenate Two-Word Adjectives—See the one I just wrote myself? “Two-Word” modifies “Adjectives” and thus is itself an adjective phrase and should be hyphenated, though if I told you my adjective had “two words” in it, I would not hyphenate that phrase.

Email Courtesy—I cannot tell you how many times I have been jolted by the brusque emails from students, more often males, who are used to a cavalier and sloppy use of the internet:

To: [email protected]: [email protected]: (Blank)

i ned this pper back fri. its late bec. I had a lot of work to do. red font and put a grade on it.


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mailto:[email protected]


Better: To: [email protected]: [email protected]: GB1 Paper

Hi—could I please get this paper back Friday? I have a deadline for a scholarship and really need it. I need red font and a letter grade, too.

thanks and sry its late, Joe Blow

Much Better: To: [email protected]: [email protected]: GB1 Paper 2 for Joe Blow

Dear Mrs. Marsch,

I know you usually get these papers back within three weeks, but I made a mistake and put off sending it until today and need it back sooner if possible.

My mom has just gone on your website to pay the extra fee for a “rush” evaluation. Would you be able to have this evaluation done by Friday so that I can include the paper and evaluation in my application for a scholarship that needs to be postmarked Saturday?

Thank you for considering my request, and have a great day!

Joe Blow

TitleFor some the first detail to address is titling their work, to provide a peg on which to hang the rest of the essay. But most wait until the end and then forget to do it, so I address the topic here, as I close your P.E.P. Talk. Only a few in the 1998-99 group provided nice titles. Besides the expected--several modifications of "De Philosophiae Natura" and "The Benefit of Studying Lucretius"-- the interesting titles for the Lucretius papers are as follows:

Studying Lucretius: Is it Worth Your Time? A Poem With Punch Why Are You Reading That Book?

Even if you want to maintain a scholarly formality, you can nevertheless use a title that hints at your thesis. For example, here are some titles of essays--or books from which essays were taken--from my Norton Critical Edition of Huckleberry Finn:

The Ordeal of Mark Twain Mark Twain: The Artist as American Huck Finn Aborning The Greatness of *Huckleberry Finn* A Sound Heart and a Deformed Conscience You Can't Go Home Again Change the Joke and Slip the Yoke Black Magic--and White--in *Huckleberry Finn* Disenchantment: Tom Sawyer in *Huckleberry Finn*


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The Samples

I am pleased to offer some samples of particularly strong student papers for your inspiration. Because the previous discussion has focused most on Great Books 1 and 2 papers, I wanted to include some papers from other tutorials here. There are other papers posted on my website for your edification, too.

"Old Man Eloquent,” by Laura Fischer

Rhetoric, with Wes Callihan of Schola Tutorials, Spring 2000

John Quincy Adams, sometimes affectionately called JQA by historians, was born on July 11, 1767 to John and Abigail Adams, two prominent figures of the Revolutionary War. His was a heritage rich with liberty and the willingness to fight for it, from the fiery, rabble-rousing conviction of his father's cousin, Samuel Adams, to the thoughtful, courageous leadership of his father, John, to the passionate, sacrificing patriotism of his mother, Abigail.

John Quincy Adams had a long, varied life in politics, starting at the age of 11 when he joined his father, then the minister to France, in Europe. He attended schools in Paris, Amsterdam, and Leiden, and at 14 served as secretary to the first American minister to Russia. After returning to America, he graduated from Harvard in 1787. He studied law for three years and tried to start his own practice, but in scarcity of clients turned to political journalism. From 1794 to 1802 he served as minister abroad to the Netherlands, Britain, and Prussia. When the elder John Adams became President in 1796, JQA thought it might be unseemly to hold such a post during his father's administration, but George Washington urged he remain, calling him "the most valuable public character now abroad." In 1802 JQA was elected to the Massachusetts Senate, and in 1803 he became a U. S. Senator but was ousted in 1808 when he proved too independent for his party's taste.

He wanted to retire and serve at Harvard as a professor of rhetoric and oratory, but was appointed minister to Russia in 1809. There, he was one of the chief American diplomats negotiating the Treaty of Ghent, which ended the War of 1812. In 1817 President James Monroe called him home as Secretary of State, in which position Adams acquired Florida, negotiated with Britain for joint occupation of Oregon, negotiated with Spain about claims in the northwest, and originated the Monroe Doctrine, which declared that America wouldn't meddle with Europe, and Europe wouldn't meddle with America.

After a disappointing presidency from 1825-29, Adams again wished to retire, but the citizens of his hometown, Quincy, implored him to run for Congress. So he did, and won by more than four times the votes any of his opponents received. He wrote that his election to the presidency "didn't give him half as much pleasure."

It was at this point in his career that perhaps his greatest battle took place, for he took up the cause of the abolitionist petitioners. He loathed slavery personally, but didn't say so publicly, instead protesting the 'Gag Rules,' which prevented any petition involving slavery from being read on the House floor. JQA believed this restricted the citizens' right of free speech and petition, and he made his views known.

By then Adams was in his seventieth year. Though neither large nor strong, he was physically fit and had an air of authority and dignity few in the House could equal, much less surpass. No man of his time possessed his mastery of Constitutional Law, nor his experience as a diplomat or skill as orator. The journalists called him "Old Man Eloquent," a fitting nickname. Despite all his eloquence and skill, though, JQA at first made little progress. He became discouraged and depressed and went home Friday, May 18, 1836, weary of heart and body. But he wrote in his private journal that on Sunday he was revived by the words of a hymn by Isaac Watts: "Just in the last distressing hour, the Lord displays delivering power."

After that he was inexhaustible. Mondays, when petitions were read in the House, became his "playdays," as the New York Times editorialized. Despite the rule against reading slavery petitions aloud, he managed to get the gist into the notes merely by saying what they were about before laying them down on the table as the Gag Rule demanded. This infuriated the anti-© 1999 – 20015 Cindy Marsch, All Rights Reserved Writing Assessment Services

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abolitionists and delighted the abolitionists, and more and more petitions made their way to JQA's desk.

It was a long, bitter struggle that lasted eight years. For the first two years he was practically alone, until other abolitionist Congressmen joined him. When asked why he never seemed discouraged he said, "Duty is ours; results are God's."

Then in 1839 came a drama that trained a spotlight on the issue of slavery: Fifty-three black Mendi tribesmen from Sierra Leone had freed themselves aboard an illegal slave ship and destroyed their captors. International slave trade had been outlawed for years. Were they property still, or free men who had killed in self-defense?

John Quincy Adams, though he'd done no trial work in 30 years, championed their cause and defended them in court. Again "Old Man Eloquent," he began by remarking that he took consolation from "the thought that this is a court of justice." He spoke for over four hours, with all the skill of rhetoric and oratory he possessed, and won. This crowned him as the hero of the abolitionist movement.

Gradually, his cause of revoking the Gag Rule gained support in the House. Even the enemies of abolition saw that he was fighting for a Constitutional right that shouldn't be denied. Despite setbacks and bitter opposition, including death threats, the Gag Rule was abolished in 1844. For four years more Adams served his country at desk 203 in the House.

Then on February 21, 1848, JQA had a stroke as he was rising from his House desk to make a point. Too ill to leave the building, he was carried to the Speaker's room and died there two days later. His last words were, "This is the last of earth--I am content." He was 82 years old. Throughout his life, John Quincy Adams's highest goal was to serve his country and his fellow man. His daily habit was to read the Bible for an hour after he rose, and one of his other nicknames was "The Last Puritan." For perseverance, courage, and strength of mind and heart, he had few equals in his era, and none matched the rhetorical excellence of "Old Man Eloquent."

Would that we could all see issues with such clarity, choose the right with such energy, and champion it so persistently. The world would be a better place if we had more JQAs.

"From the Summit," by Emily Callihan (now Emily Wells, married to Aaron Wells, a Great Books tutor himself)

Great Books 3, with Wes Callihan of Schola Tutorials, Spring 2000

All our years in Great Books have been wonderful. Each year is full of books that are not only worthwhile to read, but are delightful as well. However, this year--the year we read the medievals--has not been just worthwhile and delightful: it has been GLORIOUS. How could anyone not appreciate it? The books spring from a centrally Christian era; in fact, many of their authors helped to make it a Christian era and to keep it Christian. Not only are the words powerful and well-woven together, but what they have to say is good food for us as well. The philosophers *tell* how to live; the poets *illustrate* how to live.

One of the best parts about medieval literature is that the culture was a *Christian* culture. Even the unbelievers had a Christian background; because they had a Christian background, they had a good understanding of the world. The world is endlessly glorious--in their writings, as well as in their paintings, the medievals give us a picture of how intricate everything is. They love details; they glory in names and lists; they spend pages describing the fine touches of scenery. Their understanding of the world is very different than ours is. Our culture thinks the world is chaotically lovely, the universe cold, space dark. But the medievals who disbelieved in a Creator had to refuse centuries of belief in an ordered creation, heavenly laughter, and golden space. All the medievals, Christian or pagan, wrote from a culture that was heavily influenced by Christianity.

Medieval literature not only builds upon a Christian era, but it helped *make* the Christian era. The medieval era began at the end of the Roman era when Boethius copied the works of the famous Greeks and Romans into Latin. Because he did so, many manuscripts were preserved and were carried up into Europe. The "barbarians"--such as the Anglo-Saxons and the Irish--were also being converted by the travelers who were starting to journey to them with the


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books. As Christians, we are called upon to learn; the Irish especially, when they became Christians, hungered for the written word. They not only made copies of the Bible, but also made copies of all the other Greek and Roman books they could get their hands on. (They loved words so much they even made up their own languages!) They did this at a time when the books were again in danger of being extinct; because of them, we have been able to read our great books today.

The books that they copied were carried all over Europe, and the medievals, delighting in books, seemed to live what Augustine said: "I count myself one of the number of those who write as they learn and learn as they write." Through their books we can see Christianity growing--out of the dark worlds of Europe we see strong Christian men valiantly fighting dragons in Denmark; fighting treachery and paganism in France; logically proving God and His attributes in England. After that, the medieval era rose up in great glory. We know a lot of what medieval life itself was like through Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales"; we see the medieval love of chivalry and virtue in "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight"; we see the French hungering for the gospel and we drink it in with them as we read Calvin's "Institutes of the Christian Religion." Later, nearing the end of the medieval era and entering the Elizabethan age, we see the adulterous courtly love relationship in its true light when we read Sir Philip Sidney's "Astrophil and Stella;" we also see Spenser saving marriage in his poetry, especially the "Amoretti" and "Epithalamion." Those two poets also saved English poetry and fiction, paving the way for Milton's epic "Paradise Lost," Shakespeare's plays and sonnets, and John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress," which has inspired so many Christians in their journey through this world. We not only see Christianity rise when we read the medievals, but we see the understanding of it being purged as well. We see what their life was like, how they viewed the world, and what they thought about.

The greatest of the medievals was, of course, Dante Alighieri. The words of this Italian poet surpass all other words, causing even the words which would praise him to fall silent. Italy was at the heart of the medieval era in the thirteenth century: Dante had a lifetime of good music, feasting, poetry, and architecture behind him when he wrote his "Divine Comedy." It was the story of a man journeying through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven to find the woman he loved, and then his love for her led him to God (as his love was from God and to glorify Him). But the allegory of it is the tale of every Christian's walk through life, and it is something we could read over and over again for edification. Because we can begin to understand his allegory, we can also appreciate the story and the marvellous poetry of his great epic much more than if we were reading it for the sake of the story and the poetry alone.

All of the medievals that we read were great writers; their use of words is wonderful. But the things they had to say were wonderful, too. We see how they lived, what they thought about, what the major controversies of their times were, etc. And it's interesting how the writers all build upon each other, even when they write about different sorts of things. For instance, the philosophers don't write stories, but they tell us why things work the way they do and how we should live. The poets who write the stories, however, show their characters living the way the philosophers said to live, and the characters live understanding why things work the way they do. (Some of the characters show the way *not* to live, just as the philosophers tell us not to live.)

And the subjects that they write about are built upon as well: Anselm's works on God were expounded upon in much more detail by Thomas Aquinas; the courtly love themes of Dante and Chaucer were imitated and expounded upon by poets such as Spenser and Sidney; Bunyan had echoes of the great English poets in "Pilgrim's Progress"; the humility in which the authors wrote, and their unapologetic stance on the issues they took was a common theme they all used; the language itself moves from Anglo-Saxon to middle English to modern English. It is no wonder that C.S. Lewis calls the works of the ages "The Great Conversation!"

I consider each year of great books to be a mountain range, with each author a valley or mountain depending on the author's greatness (Christianity, influence, and delightfulness in reading). The greek and roman years were full of peaks and valleys, but every single book that we have read of the medievals was a mountain peak. The medievals stand on a summit in history: plundering the past, preparing for the future, delighting in the glorious creation and words which the Creator has given us. And when we read their words, we too see our past; we see how they have influenced us, and how we can better live for our future; we love their words too, and through them we understand how beautiful our Creation is. When we read their words, we are on the summit with them.


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"The Jew That Shakespeare Drew: The Merchant of Venice's Shylock the Jew," by Ben Finnegan (now a teacher in a Classical charter school)

Shakespeare I with Norm Lund of Oxford Tutorials, Spring 2002

Perhaps no character in Shakespeare is as ambiguous as Shylock the Jew in “The Merchant of Venice.” There have been many interpretations of the character on the stage, and some of them have even contradicted each other. In the eighteenth century, Shylock was played as a foolish, comedic villain. In the beginning of the nineteenth century, he was played, in rapid succession, as a diabolical villain, a weak and persecuted hero, and a miserly yet honest martyr. Later the Jew became the central person of the play and was almost unanimously portrayed as the victim of Christian hypocrisy and jealousy. But is the character of Shylock intended as a villain, or a hero? Was he supposed to be comic relief, or a taste of tragedy? If there is a definite answer, it can probably be found in the play itself.

First, consider the sympathetic, heroic portrayal. Is it accurate? Actors and directors wishing to portray this kind of Jew have had to cut out portions of the play where Shylock becomes too cruel or vehement in his hate. They also usually leave out the entire fifth act of the play, which deals with the other principle characters and leaves Shylock out entirely. If the directors have to cut out parts of Shakespeare’s original play in order to make it fit their portrayal of Shylock, that portrayal is obviously not the one intended by the author.

But is the comic fool any more accurate? From early, though not contemporary, descriptions of the play, Shylock seems to have been long-nosed, large-chinned, and capped with a ridiculous red wig. He was both comical and pitiful--a man taken by immense greed and reduced by it to little better than an animal. But, as an observer in the early seventeen hundreds commented after seeing the play, “I cannot help but think that the author intended the role of the Jew tragically.” Many of his speeches are much too tragic and potent to be intended for a fool’s mouth, and as such, the comic fool is also not the Jew whom Shakespeare intended.

Besides his comic and tragic elements, there are certainly several diabolical aspects of Shylock; for instance, he demands the death of a friendly Christian Merchant in return for a lost sum of money, and when his daughter steals away with a Christian husband and a large store of jewels, he wishes that she were dead at his feet with the jewels in her ears. Despite these diabolical aspects, however, Shylock is an ultimately human character: “Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands... passions?” The diabolical portrayal of Shylock looms like a melodramatic shadow or caricature next to the depth of the actual lines given him.

Thus, since Shylock is not diabolical, comical, or heroic, we are left with the possibility of a noble mind persecuted and driven to evil by the prejudices of the Christians around him. And this, indeed, seems to fit the character best; he is warped and corrupted, but only because he is made so. He is greedy, because if he were not, he would lose all to the hypocrisy of those around him. He clings desperately to the letter of the law, disregarding the spirit, because the letter is his only defense against the Christians. He is an excellent example of Shakespeare’s penetrating treatment of human nature and its motivations: an intelligent man made mad by pitiable public treatment and scornful private encounters.

And this is just a brief glance at Shylock’s character. Indeed, there have been several books written on Shylock, for the intrigue of the character that Alexander Pope called “…The Jew/ That Shakespeare drew” could fill several large volumes, and a short essay cannot hope to plumb the depths of this most ambiguous and wonderful character.


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“A Perplexing Lack of Penitence,” by Lydia Diers

The Scarlet Letter: A New Look with Cindy Marsch of Writing Assessment Services, Spring 2003

The mystery surrounding the identity of Hester’s partner in sin is one of the main themes luring a reader through *The Scarlet Letter.* Who is he? Where is he? What can be going through his mind? These are questions that arise again and again, challenging a reader’s patience and perseverance. An inquisitive reader will look for clues, follow hints, and thrive on the tantalizing suspense. After much careful observation the discovery is made. The answer to the riddle is found, leaving the reader to recover from a series of shocking results. First, the man is a pastor, the Reverend Arthur Dimsdale. His profession describes him as a shepherd of God’s sheep, though his behavior with Hester must make one doubt his ability to properly guide and protect others. Second, he has been living in the same community with Hester. They have passed each other in the street and seen each other’s homes. These are hard realities, yes, but it is the answer to the third question presented that brings the most discomfort. What can be going through his mind? Torture of the most acute kind undoubtably rules his life. He considers his state so miserable that he envies Hester’s. “Happy are you...that wear the scarlet letter openly upon thy bosom!” he cries. Happy? To be rejected by society, to have lost all hope in the future, to suffer as the example of sin; this is a happy existence? If it is happy by comparison, then his state must be very pitiable.But despite his inward anxieties, he is not repentant. “Of penance, I have had enough! Of penitence, there has been none!” Why? How could a pastor be ignorant of the necessary repentance for his deed? The passion of the moment, the pleasure of the memory, was too wonderful to be sorry for the consequences. This is sad indeed. Yet he feels something similar to remorse. He thinks that perhaps by whipping himself, fasting to exhaustion, and keeping nighttime vigils he could attain some compensation for his bedeviled heart. But this is not so. He tells Hester that despite seven years lived in such a manner he has not found peace, but despair. He not only has no penitence and no peace, but also no hope. Arthur Dimsdale wished for peace, but he did not know how it was attainable. Had he fallen back on his knowledge of the scriptures, he might have discovered the answer. True peace only comes from Jesus. Despite the enormity of Reverend Dimsdale’s sin, it was not bigger than the price Jesus paid on the cross. No sin is so great that Jesus cannot take away its sting. Had Arthur sought for forgiveness from Jesus through penitence he would have been relieved of his guilt. But he could not humble himself enough to acknowledge his sin to Jesus, and sought alleviation through human contrived penance. It is no surprise that he did not receive what he desired.


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“Flame of Poetry,” by Kevin Kimball

Great Books 4 with Wes Callihan, Spring 2003

As I was reading one of the last assignments for the four year Great Books course, my mother asked me, “So what did you think of the course?” After my answers “It was good” and “I liked it” were rejected for being too short, I lengthened my response to “I liked it a lot.” However, the profundity of my statement seemed to go unnoticed. So now I must take on the task of explaining my conclusion. Any intelligent essay on the importance of studying ancient literature should begin with a famous ancient quote, like this:

The study of history is the best medicine for a sick mind; for in history you have a record of the infinite variety of human experience plainly set out for all to see; and in that record you can find for yourself and your country both examples and warnings: fine things to take as models, base things, rotten through and through, to avoid. (Livy, 1.1).

However, I am writing about why I enjoyed the Great Books, not an intelligent essay. The history of Thucydides is fascinating, the philosophy of Plato is incomprehensible...I mean...incredible, and the theology of Calvin is enlightening, but poetry gives me the most pleasure. Isn’t poetry just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo that no one can understand? No, that is modern poetry. Modern poetry is the rotten stump that everyone trips over in their attempt to see real poetry’s massive trunk and lofty branches. Not all recent poetry is bad, but in general it favors short, emotional poems over long, thoughtful tales, and it often breaks all the rules that define poetry. Ancient poetry, on the other hand, reveals history, philosophy, and theology, and it gives these life as the lines flow together to tell enduring legends. So while the diligent scholar might methodically show the value of the Great Books as a whole, I find all my attention drawn to the enjoyment of ancient poetry. The Iliad was the first of the Great Books, and although I began somewhat skeptical, I soon caught the irresistible delight of a certain tutor. How can one not admire the ability of the poet who described with such audacity the epic struggle at Troy?

As when rivers in winter spate running down from the mountains throwtogether at the meeting of streams the weight of their waterout of the great springs behind in the hollow stream-bed,and far away in the mountains the shepherd hears their thunder;such, from the coming together of men, was the shock and the shouting. (Iliad: 4, 452-456)

Homer’s account of magnificent battle, with scenes from every part of life in vivid metaphorical descriptions, brings the world of thousands of years ago to life, with all its customs, ideas, and heroes. Plato might ponder the essence of courage, but Homer gives it life in huge Aias. Socrates shows his wit in discussing the meaning of piety, but Homer describes hecatombs offered to the gods, or Greek ships shattered and sunk for want of piety. Instead of reading a historical account of the times, we see what culture was at the time of the Trojan War. Men tilled the soil and looted enemies’ camps. Strength was highly esteemed, and mighty heroes were deemed “god-like.” Fate was not an abstraction pondered by bewildering philosophers, but a cruel reality that ruled even the gods with an iron fist. The Iliad, along with the Odyssey and Aeneid, reveal pagan culture, not by logical syllogism or philosophical meditation, but through delightful poetry. The epics of Homer and Vergil were succeeded by the early medieval masterpieces Beowulf and The Song Of Roland. The medieval epics lacked some of the genius and color of the ancient ones, but they also directed praise to God instead of to crafty Ulysses.


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It is interesting to study scholarly history about early medieval times or to read philosophical dissertations about God’s involvement in human affairs; but when huge Beowulf roars praise to God after tearing Grendel’s arm away, knowledge becomes adventure, and abstraction becomes reality. It is also good to explain the impotence of heathen idols to the wandering listener, but The Song of Roland will grip his attention when it shows in rapid verse defeated Paynims beating their idol in despair:

“Aha! vile god, why must thou shame us now?Why let this disaster befal this king of ours?To faithful servants a generous lord art thou!”They snatch away his scepter and his crown,By his hands hang him upon a column bound,And with thick cudgels belabour him and pound;Then with their feet trample him on the ground....Into a ditch they boot away Mahound....(Song of Roland, section 187)

Woohoo! Down with the dirty dog! This is what makes the poetry of Great Books so great! With rhythmic flow early medieval poetry presents insights into culture and its view of God in a way that is fresh and exciting. In the later middle ages, epic was abandoned for poetry about love and chivalry. At that time love was worshiped as a god, and virtue was neglected and even sacrificed for love’s sake. This statement is historically accurate, but it cannot compare to the dynamic example given in The Knight’s Tale. When brotherly union is broken by bitter hostility, the reader’s heart pounds faster, and the truth penetrates deeper. When cruel images are painted in the temples of love and war, words like “jealousy” and “conquest” take on their bloody forms. Instead of systematically expounding the error of the common conception of love, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Knight’s Tale develop true chivalry through daring romance. When Arcite is on his death bed, when Gawain struggles under temptation or bows under the cruel axe, then the truth is no bare fact, but an exciting story that grips the heart as well as the mind. Dante’s Divine Comedy also deals with love, but uses it only as a guide to repentance. Freud’s philosophy might say that guilt is only the result of a feud between Mr. Ego and Mr. Id (with a super hero having the highly original name “Superego” thrown in for good measure), but Dante brings refreshment from such lunacy, showing guilt and repentance as they are. Of course, there are lots of books, ancient and modern, that present a correct view, but Dante’s Comedy is poetry. Dante and his reader embark on a journey through hell, purgatory, and heaven, gazing on hideous monsters and tortures at the start, and ending with a beautiful garden, holy angels, and joy. It can be enjoyed on several levels: as a literal journey through the unseen afterworld or as an allegory describing the return of a straying believer or the salvation of an unbeliever. Because of this dual purpose, the words have extra significance, the symbols are full of meaning, and the situations are common to all men. With humorous verse Dante enlivens trite sayings and laborious explanations. The reader feels the horror Dante feels when he sees his sin as it is, and he feels his joy when he is washed clean. A Freudian culture is blind to this, and those like Nietzsche become lost in Dante’s Dark Wood. But even in their ignorance they might at least see and enjoy the skill with which Dante displays life’s weighty truths in a poetic adventure. The poetry of the Great Books sends shivers down my spine. Fast paced crescendos deliver important truths with a bang, and drawn out grief captivates the heart. I revel in the Iliad’s brilliant battles and god-like feats. I experience the culture of the so-called Dark Ages as I read of Roland’s last stand. I tremble with excitement and my grip tightens as Beowulf defeats his foe. Selfish love rears its gruesome head in the The Knight’s Tale, and I am stirred to imitate true chivalry. I mourn with Dante for sin, and I rejoice with him in God’s salvation. Just by relating the greatness of poetry, I can no longer say “I liked it a lot.” Instead, “I came to the study of the Great Books as a traveler entering a strange land; and just as the weary man receives light and warmth from the fire kindled with dry sticks as night approaches, so great poetry has illuminated culture and thought, warming me with pleasure in its study.”


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AcknowledgementsI could not have completed this work without, first, the enabling of the Lord, and then the blessing of my husband, Glenn Marsch, who encourages me in the ways of the Proverbs 31 woman. Our dear children—Abby, David, Betsy, and Benjamin—have done their part in the family to make the extra work possible.

Fritz Hinrichs first encouraged me to go online with Writing Assessment Services in 1996 and has entrusted much of his students’ evaluation work to me in later years; Wes Callihan helped me offer the first year’s evaluations to his Great Books students in 1998-99 and has sent me a steady stream of students ever since. Norm Lund supplied a bit of the material from his own Great Books student paper comments for my inclusion here and also sends students my way. These men, and the many men and women who are working to further the aims of classical and Christian education to transform our culture, have enriched my life and given me vision and knowledge for the education of my own children.

Finally, I want to thank the families whose children’s diligent labors inform and/or are excerpted in this document. Thanks are due especially to Aaron, Abby, Adam, Bens 1 and 2, Brandon, Bret, Cade, Candace, Cole, Davids 1 and 2, Elizabeth, Ellen, Emily, Eric, Keith, Joel, Joanna, Jordan, Jeremy, Kevin, Laura, Lydia, Maribeth, Matt, Matthew, Meghan, Michael, Nate, Phoebe, Ruth Ann, Ryan, Sarah, Stacia, and Thomas. Many of these students have since gone on to distinguished colleges and careers, including parenthood, and I wish them the best for the future!

CRM10/1/1999Rev. 9/4/2001Rev. 9/14/2002Rev. 9/1/2003Rev. 8/21/2004Rev. 8/9/2005Rev. 9/8/2015


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