Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
Value Centered Parenting:Raising Successful Children
in an Uncertain World
Joe Ackerson, Ph.D.Pediatric Neuropsychologist
(205) [email protected]
Formula for Success
Know your child Instill purpose and pride Develop successful habits Establishing priorities Discipline according to “Value Centered
Parenting.”
Understanding Context of Behavior
Environmental influences on development is crucial
Understanding the child means understanding the context
Family, school, friends, culture, & faith all bring something to the table.
Early Brain Development
Behavioral development reflects interaction between neurology (brain) and context (environment)
Brain development is dependent upon both experience and genetics
The brain has a great deal of plasticity and can recover over time, but is also highly vulnerable during the early years.
Brain development
Growth of the brain occurs from the inside out and the bottom up
You are born with 100 billion brain cells
There are 15,000 synaptic connections for each cell
Early Experiences are Crucial
By age 3, 80% of synaptic connections are already made
By the second decade of life growth levels off and pruning begins
Experiences influence the wiring of an child’s brain
Early Care Experiences
Children thrive when they receive warm, responsive care
Early care has a decisive, long lasting impact on how people develop, their ability to learn, and their capacity to regulate their own emotions
Nature vs. Nurture
During the first 10 years of life the brain is twice as active as that of an adult’s
60% of nutrition is used by the brain during the first year of life. This decreases to 30% by age 3
Genetic and environmental factors have a more dynamic, qualitative interplay that can not be reduced to a simple equation
9
Human Brain at Birth
6 Years Old
14 Years Old
PRUNING These 3 critical phases are quickly followed by a
process in which the brain prunes and organizes its neural pathways
LEARNING is a process of creating and strengthening frequently used synapses (brain discards unused synapses)
Brain keeps only the most efficient and “strong” synapses
Children/teens need to understand that they decide (though their behavioral choices) which synapses flourish and which are pruned away
PRUNING “USE IT OR LOSE IT”– Reading, sports,
music, video games, watching TV, hanging out—whatever a child/teen is doing—these are the neural synapses that will be retained
How children/teens spend their time is CRUCIAL to brain development since their activities guide the structure of the brain
Self-control of behavior & emotions:• appropriately inhibit or modify behaviors to avoid negative future
consequences• initiate, persist, sequence steps toward goals• navigate complex social situations despite strong affect
Skills in the self-regulation of affect and complex behavior to serve long-term goals
Involves neurobehavioral systems in PFC -- among thelast regions of the brain to achieve full functionalmaturation and underdeveloped in ADHD and ODD
Job Requirements of an Adult
Successful navigation of life’s “troubled waters”: • increased cognitive (self-) control over emotions
and behavior• in accordance with abstract principles• consideration of long-term consequences• complex social rules• use of strategies, planning, and goals• requires cognitive-emotional integration
Role of executive functions
Underdevelopment of the frontal lobe/prefrontal cortex and the limbic system make youth more prone to “behave emotionally or with ‘gut’ reactions”
Youth tend to use an alternative part of the brain– the amygdala (emotions) rather than the prefrontal cortex (reasoning) to process information
BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
Functional integration of widely-distributed circuits lays the groundwork for enhanced voluntary control of behavior during child and adolescent cognitive development
This may occur through strengthening of circuit-level brain organization (i.e. faster connections across a set of neural systems)
Neural networks support cognition & behavior
What is ODD
A behavior disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of defiant, disobedient, and hostile behavior towards authority figures; a frequent loss of temper, arguing, becoming angry or vindictive, or other negative behaviors.
Strong indications of abnormalities in the amygdala involved in ODD
What Works
For ADHD stimulants indicated first, sometimes non-stimulants (atomoxetine/Strattera, guafacine/Tenex/Intuniv, clonidine/Kapvay), employed.
For ODD reverse the sequence. Not many studies but may be some role for atomoxetine, guanfacine, etc.) followed by stimulants
Behavioral/parenting
Target the parent
Literature review for ODD shows us that effective behavioral strategies MUST target the parent’s behavior in order to be effective.
https://www.effectivehealthcare.ahrq.gov/ehc/products/555/2133/disruptive-behavior-disorder-report-151201.pdf
Purpose & Pride
The way that parents and caregivers relate to children and the way they mediate their contact with the environment directly affects the formation of neural pathways and consequently behavior
Risky parent-child interactions may develop if the parent does not understand normal child development and the impact that ADHD/ODD have on those trajectories
Know your child, play to their strengths, address their weaknesses
Prepare more than protect
Purpose & Pride
Prepare by teaching effective strategies for being successful in their world
Their world is family, school, friends, faith, community, culture
Many cultural influences are vying for control of your child’s mind, be sure you matter the most
Teach your values everyday in everyway Give them opportunities to succeed AND fail
Successful Habits A habit is an overlearned behavior Overlearned means you have done it so many times
(note LOTS of repetition), it becomes an “automatic” behavior
What is behavior? A means by which to interact with our world in order to
achieve a desired goal. Behaviors that are rewarded increase, those that are
not, do not (unless biologically driven). Punishment can sometimes be a reward since it
provides the child with attention and the power to control your behavior.
Become the reinforce as well as the enforcer
You have to matter to the child so Be a good listener (active listening) Support them and their efforts Say yes when you can so that no really means no Make life fun and enjoyable Make they know you “have their back” Model warmth, respect, caring
Set the rules and enforce them Be predictable
What is Behavioral Management?
A structured way of teaching and influencing behavior
Effective Behavioral Programs: Understand the behavior Predict the behavior Affect the behavior by controlling contingencies Externalize the contingencies
Discipline does not equal punishment, but does involve teaching and learning (discipleship)
Behavioral Analysis
Understand the situation (ABC’s of behavior) Antecedent Behavior Consequence
Principles of Behavioral Management
Immediacy of consequences Specificity of consequences Consistency of consequences Limit the rules Establish incentives before punishments Anticipate and plan for misbehavior Reciprocity of family interactions (the Golden
Rule)
Effective Interventions
Pay attention Increase compliance Command don’t plead Train up what you want to see United front Respond to the positives Establish and implement consequences
Plan Ahead
Know those situations/settings most likely to be problematic (the dreaded WalMart)
Make a plan (avoid the toy aisle) Review the plan (quickly with as few words as
possible) Implement the plan
Study Habits
Create good habits early Structure, routine, structure, routine… Space matters
Avoid noisy, busy places Reduce distractions
Exception may be music Reduce chatter Enourage motor involvement
Channel Nick Saban
Develop transitions orbridges between key points.
Study Habits
Support, don’t hover Start early Frequent review Avoid cramming Learning how to learn SQ4R
.
Establish Priorities
Healthy Lifestyle- yes, it matters Nutrition Exercise Sleep
Develop transitions orbridges between key points.
Healthy Lifestyle- yes, it matters
NutritionBalanced diet (Mediterranean)Brain friendly nutrientWhere and how you eat
Exercise Sunshine, fresh airDaily routineCompetitive vs Recreational Sports
Sleep Sleep hygiene
Consequences of Insufficient Sleep
Sleepiness (including micro-sleeps) Tiredness (decreased motivation) Irritability and low-frustration tolerance Difficulties with self-control of attention,
emotion, and behavior Direct effects on learning and memory
consolidation
Time Management
The vanishing resource Make smart decisions guided by your VALUES DO NOT OVERSCHEDULE Brains need “downtime” and unstructured play But not TOO MUCH downtime as “idle hands are the
devil’s playground” Put EVERYTHING on your calendar and teach your
child to do the same Weekly calendar review for the entire family
Journal
Try 1-2 weeks of writing a daily log of how you (and your family) spent your time
BE HONEST Then ask yourself if 10 years from now it
really mattered who won The Voice (or pick your ball game), what Dr. House’s final diagnosis was, how CSI solved the case, or how many candies you crushed.
Use Time Wisely Unplug in order to connect Let your kids “catch you” snuggling, sharing your
dreams and fears, doing the crossword, praying Schedule family reading time Have a family budget and review it once a month
with the kids Shop together (decision-making and math) Cook together (reading and following directions,
measurements, physics, chemistry) EAT TOGETHER (at a table, in your kitchen, with
no electronics) Play together
DISCIPLINE
Disciple Teaching, not limited to punishment, or even
just consequences The means by which we pass our values onto
our children All parenting comes down to teaching our
children how to be effective and how to be a responsible citizen
MORAL DEVELOPMENT
To appreciate consequences of one’s behavior, you have to have the ability to think through potential outcomes and understand the impact of consequences
Due to an immature prefrontal cortex, youth are not skilled at doing this
Children do not take information, organize it, and understand it in the same way that adults do—they have to learn how to do this
MORAL DEVELOPMENT With experience and maturity, youth are
increasingly able to temper their instinctive ‘gut’ reaction with more rational, reasoned responses.
They begin being able to “apply the brakes” to emotional responses.
During this time they need adult mentors and role-models who demonstrate how to make good decisions and how to control emotions
You are #1 Teacher
It is YOUR responsibility to teach YOUR child, with the support of school, faith community, friends, etc.
Actions speak louder than words You are constantly teaching your child, even
(or especially) when you are not thinking about it
Parenting Implications• Have clear expectations for behavior, and work to
implement appropriate and consistent consequences (KISS)
• Teach and MODEL emotional management strategies for dealing with stressful situations
• Reinforce appropriate behavior
• Allow opportunities for assertive communication, which allows expression of one’s feelings, needs, and desires
Building Resiliency
Build an unbreakable bond with your child through open communication, a positive, accepting, and reinforcing attitude, and consistent parenting approach that focuses on skills building.
Have high but appropriate expectations and a willingness to teach.
Parenting
• If you want your child to know it, teach it.
• Teach life and social skills• Communication• Goal setting • Problem-solving • Stress management• Decision-making (including refusal skills)
• Teach your faith and values• Everyday crises, big and small, are teaching
moments• Talk WITH your child, everyday.
Successful Socialization
Planning for success Programmed social interactions Social bridges Behavioral contingencies for social behavior Social skills training/role playing Increase their decision-making role in the
home (sharing of power) as they are ready
Emotional Regulation
Chill Out exercises Progressive muscle relaxation Breathe Mindfulness Guided imagery Yoga/Tai Chi Re-setting the emotional barometer Focus on the body and its functions, not the
situation
• “Learning from experience” may not take place until underlying brain structures are in place.
• Function as their #1 teacher: teach them what they need to know, don’t assume they get it, do assume they are always watching.
• Encourage healthy lifestyle, especially sleep and a manageable schedule.
• Look at risk taking and limit testing as necessary and normal; help your child/student find safe ways to experiment and explore.
Summary
Just P.A.R.E.N.T. Promote activities that capitalize on the strengths of
the developing brain and encourages personal responsibility.
Assist with appropriate challenges and support. Reinforce desired behaviors and moral development. Encourage lifestyle that promotes good brain and
personal development while avoiding too much risk. Never lie to your child and do not underestimate the
effects of your impact as a role model. Tolerate and allow the natural mistakes that are
required for learning.
Raising confident, competent children is hard work, but worth it.
